Chapter Sixty-nine
A Friend in Need
"I don't think it's going to work," Marco told Kimberly as she continued to jam the keycard into the lock.
"It has to. It has to!"
"Maybe it hasn't been activated."
Kimberly froze. "Activated?"
"Yeah. They run it through a machine so that it only works for one specific room. That way you can't use your room key in anyone else's door."
Kimberly smacked her forehead. "Why didn't I think of that? Why? Why?"
"Sorry." Marco clapped her on the shoulder, checking his watch as he did so. He was going to be late fairly soon, but usually drunk girls didn't have a great grasp of how to read a clock. "Got any other ideas?"
"Yes, in fact, I do." Kimberly marched down the hall. Marco followed her. Kimberly was beginning to grow on him. Not only was she hot, she was very determined. Crazy as hell, but determined.
Kimberly raised her hand to knock on the door to 603 when she realized it was propped open half an inch by the doorstop. She pushed it all the way open and peered inside for a moment, then turned back to Marco. "Okay, listen. This is what we're gonna do. I need the two guys in blue. I'm gonna wake up Billy, the blond one, and get him to come outside with me. You wake up the one on the cot. Make sure you keep quiet. I need to do this fast, in case Trini wakes up and realizes I'm gone. I've already wasted enough time with the bal—"
Kimberly broke off at the sound of a door opening down the hall. Without another word, she grabbed Marco and hauled him into room 603 with considerable strength for a girl her size. She quickly shut the door behind them and peered out through the door.
"Oh, damn, it's Trini," she moaned. "I can't close the door all the way without opening the door wide enough to move the doorstopper! She'll see me if I do!"
"Who's Trini?" Marco whispered.
"My best friend," Kimberly told him. "Oh, god, she's coming! Quick! Hide in the bathtub!"
Something about the panicky order made Marco comply without thinking. Kimberly followed him into the tub and pulled the curtain closed, leaving the bathroom door open so that they could hear if anyone approached. It was pitch-black in the tub, Marco clutching Kimberly's arm both for comfort and so that he could tell where she was.
After several tense moments, they heard the door creak open and a woman whisper, "Have you guys seen Kim?"
"Teapot," someone inside the room groaned.
"Guess not." The door creaked again; Marco let out a shaky sigh of relief when he heard the click of the door hitting the metal stopper.
Kimberly leaned against Marco for support and carefully climbed out of the tub, trying not to slip now that her bare feet were wet again. Marco cautiously followed her back out into the room and waited while she peered through the crack in the door. "Trini just got in the elevator," Kimberly reported finally. "Hurry. Get Ethan—the guy on the cot. I'll get Billy."
Kimberly turned and squinted into the darkness. The cot had been shoved at an unnatural angle, so that she'd have to move it to get to Billy, who was sleeping farthest from the door. Before Marco could offer to move the cot for her, she vaulted right over it, did some sort of tricky flip in midair over Ethan's head, and landed gracefully on the other side. Marco gaped at her for a second, then shook himself and crept towards the cot.
Kimberly stealthily moved to Billy's side and clamped her hand over his mouth. Marco could only see their silhouettes in the dim lighting, but he could see Billy immediately start fighting. "Shh, Billy, it's me, Kim!" she hissed, and Billy went still. "Meet me in the hall." Some of the tension in Marco's gut eased as Billy sat up and climbed out of the bed; at least whatever this Kimberly girl was into, these people knew and liked Kimberly well enough to help her without complaint. He caught sight of Billy's face as Billy gently moved the cot aside and slipped past. Billy looked at him, his expression a mixture of reluctance, confusion, and resignation. However, there was no surprise, which put the ball of tension right back into Marco's stomach. Marco knew Billy thought he was looking at a cop. The fact that Billy was unsurprised to see Kimberly and a cop sneak into his room in the middle of the night didn't bode well. Marco could only pray that these people weren't into anything worse than a little payback for an idiotic ex-boyfriend.
Marco gently shook the kid on the cot, glancing uneasily at the other three guys in the room. The kid didn't wake up. "Hey," he whispered.
"TEAPOT," someone boomed. Marco nearly bit his tongue off as he fought down a yelp. The sudden random word and its volume brought up a bizarre image of God trying to place an order at Starbucks.
"Jeez, enough with the teapots," Kimberly muttered under her breath.
"He didn't even twitch," Marco whispered, awed at how deeply asleep Ethan and the others were. "He's dead to the world."
Kimberly grabbed Ethan's shoulder and shook him violently. "Ethan!" she hissed.
One of the kids sharing the other double bed rolled over, his forearm whacking the other guy in the head. "Ow," the kid complained.
Kimberly ducked into a crouch, disappearing into the darkness faster than it took to say "Beam me up, Scotty." Marco belatedly hit the deck as well.
"Damn it, Conner, if one more part of you touches me, I'm throwing you back in with Mr. Tea," the guy who'd been hit grumbled, rolling over and pulling his pillow over his head.
Kimberly tugged on Marco's sleeve and motioned towards the door. Marco shook his head to indicate he didn't understand. Kimberly pointed to the cot, then to the door. Marco frowned, not getting what she meant… until she crab-walked over behind the cot and began to push. Marco hurriedly crawled for the door and held it open. A sleepy Billy stood out in the hallway, eyebrows raised and arms crossed, transmitting a vibe of "What now?" as clearly as if he was screaming.
Kimberly wheeled the cot for the door. Marco was just about to open his mouth to inform her that it wouldn't fit through the opening when it hit the wall. Marco cringed, waiting for someone to wake up, but no one did; the mattress had cushioned the impact, so there wasn't a whole lot of noise. Marco started to lean around the cot and see if Kimberly had a new, less psychotic plan when he realized that Kimberly, who was still crouched, couldn't see over the cot, and had assumed she'd simply missed the doorway. She pulled it back and let out a soft grunt of effort as she shoved it violently forward and towards the right.
The cot still wouldn't fit, and, being at an angle, it jolted hard and tipped downward. Ethan and his sheets slid down the mattress and tumbled out into the hallway in a heap.
"Uh-oh," Kimberly murmured.
"Oh, my god, are you okay?" Billy demanded quietly.
Ethan's voice drifted in from the hallway, slightly muffled by the carpet his face was pressed against and the blankets covering his head. "What. The. Hell?"
Marco stood up. Kimberly was on her feet as well. The two of them peered over the cot at Ethan, who was struggling to sit up and untangle himself from his bedding. "Oops," Kimberly muttered, then climbed over the cot. Marco followed. Kimberly pushed the cot out of the way and pulled the door shut against the stopper just as Ethan unearthed himself.
"What happened?" Ethan groaned. "Why am I in the hallway? What's going on? And who are you?" he added to Marco.
"Um, Marco," he replied.
"Polo," Ethan said blankly.
"No, Marco. It's my name."
"Well, that's nice. Why am I in the hallway?"
"Shh! Keep it down," Kimberly admonished.
"Keep it down? Keep it down? I'm in the hallway!"
"Yeah, me too," Billy said dryly.
"Did they fling you out into it, too?" Ethan asked.
"No. I got marched out."
"Okay. Well, good to know I've one-upped everyone on weirdest ways to be woken up. Someone want to tell me why Kimberly and Officer Marco here just dumped me out of my nice warm cot onto the cold, wet… is this ice?" Ethan looked down at the floor. He and Billy both looked curiously at the trail of ice leading back to the vending area, where the ice machine was still going. Ethan shook his head. "Well? Is this about the bellhops, Officer? Because I swear that I—"
"Not a cop," Marco said quickly, not wanting to hear anything else about whatever had happened with bellhops to warrant a visit from the police. In Marco's line of work, he preferred to avoid the cops at all times—ironic, really, given his outfit. "It's just a costume."
Billy and Ethan stared at him. "Why…?" Ethan asked.
"I have an appointment on this floor," Marco explained.
Usually, it didn't take long for people to make the leap from "guy in costume with a late-night appointment in a hotel" to "male stripper," but Billy and Ethan both stared at him blankly. Marco sighed.
"Marco, here, is in the entertainment business," Kimberly said delicately.
Billy and Ethan both frowned, puzzling it out. Marco was startled at how long they stayed quiet before it finally clicked.
"Let me get this straight," Ethan began, his tone slow, deliberate and dangerous. "You and a male stripper broke into my room in the middle of the night so you could dump me out of my cot into the hallway and—"
"Guys, look, I don't have a whole lot of time," Kimberly cut in urgently. "Listen up. I need you two to—"
"No," Ethan interrupted firmly.
"Ethan—"
"No. No! I don't care. I don't care what you need, I don't care who's a teapot, I don't care if Mesogog himself asked you to wake me up, I am getting back in my cot and going to sleep and sleeping all through the night!"
"Ethan—"
"Save it. I like you, Kimberly, I really do. You're really awesome. But I am not getting sucked into any more drama tonight. I escaped the axe-murderers, I escaped the clowns, go me. I even got to make out with a cute girl. But you know what? I didn't even want to get out of bed today. But Conner, Conner of all people, convinced me it would be okay. And I got out of bed and bravely faced the day. I weathered the disgusting seduction of my science teacher with French fries. I dealt with the high-speed car chase. I handled the broken Ferris wheel. And when Kira burst into my room and told me that something had happened and that I needed to be prepared to attack on her signal, I went, no questions asked. I have the bruises to show it. So I'm sorry, but whatever you and your new pal the stripper—and I'm not even asking how that friendship got started—are planning, count me out."
Ethan stomped over to the door, pushed it open, and smacked at the support bars on his cot. He folded it up, rolled it through the doorway, tossed his blankets on top and closed the door behind him. "Me and my cot are going somewhere nice, quiet, and chaos-free. If you'll excuse me, I'll see you in the morning."
With that, Ethan stalked down the hall, wincing as the ice cubes bit into his feet. He got into the elevator and didn't look back as the doors closed behind him.
"Well! How do you like that?" Kimberly said, hands on her hips. "I bet if Tommy had asked, he'd have agreed. Or at least heard him out." She scowled and turned to Billy. "Now—"
"Whatever it is, Kimberly, count me out too!" Billy said quickly, a slightly panicky look on his face now that Ethan had managed to flee. "I absolutely refuse to assist in any intricately-woven, vengeance-based diabolical plans to remove your possessions from Tommy's grasp!"
Kimberly fixed him with a glare. "Don't even think about it, Billy. Just because I let the newbie go doesn't mean you're off the hook. Ethan wasn't part of Tommy's little offensive maneuver, but you were. If you want to escape retaliation, you better fall in line. I might let the rookie Blue with no tie to me other than hero-worship go, but you, my dear friend since first grade, are gonna help me or die trying to escape.
Billy sighed gustily. "Thought so." He looked at Marco. "I'm Billy, by the way. Nice to meet you."
"Eh, you too," Marco said, wondering for the first time just what, exactly, he was doing.
Billy nodded at him and turned back to Kimberly. "What's the plan?"
"I need you, oh intelligent one, to bypass the electronic lock on Tommy's door."
To Marco's surprise, Billy's face lit up. "Huh. As you know, I am unfamiliar with modern circuitry, but I doubt it will be beyond my capabilities. I will require a few tools, however; I'll be right back."
Billy returned in short order, holding a book bag and a laptop. "Hopefully I won't require parts form Ethan's computer, but I brought it just in case," he explained as he slung the bag onto his shoulder. "If I do need any, I'm certain I can reassemble it. Now—before we begin, there are four things I need to know."
"Shoot," Kimberly said.
"First, why have you recruited the outsider?"
Marco frowned. It seemed like an odd choice of words. "Outsider." Not "random guy," or even "stripper." As if the two of them did this sort of thing a lot and usually didn't bring non-team members in on it.
"If one of them wakes up, I'm gonna need him. Since you and Rocky were in there, I'm guessing Tommy, Jason, Zack and Adam are in Tommy's room?"
"Affirmative."
"Well, regardless of which of the six of you were in there, I knew I couldn't fight them all off without an army. Even with the element of surprise and back up from everyone but you guys, I doubt we could take everyone in the room. I only got away with what I did earlier because I had surprise him and I didn't duke it out. It was a grab-and-run, and I'm on search-and-rescue right now. If they wake up, the odds aren't good, and running isn't an option anymore. Marco's the only one who could stop all four of them from keeping me from getting what I need."
"Why's that?" Marco asked.
"The costume," Kimberly told him, somewhat apologetically. "No amount of muscle would help, but given the day Tommy's had, all you'd have to do would be stare him down and he'd let me tear the place apart looking for my clothes."
"I told you, I won't announce myself as a cop."
"Like I said, you won't have to. Just stare at him. If he wakes up, he'll be forced to stand by helplessly and let me do whatever I want."
"Okay," Marco said, but he was liking this plan less and less. He'd better at least get Kimberly's phone number out of this deal.
"Second," Billy continued, "this is all I do, correct? I open the door. You do the rest on your own."
"Definitely." Kimberly pulled a pack of marinara sauce out of her pocket. "Trust me—you don't want to know what's going to go down once that door is open."
Billy cringed at the sight of the marinara sauce. "I believe you're right. Third, my name stays out of this?"
"Done."
"Okay. Fourth, why is there ice all over the hall?"
"I think Tommy thought I might drop by and booby-trapped the ice machine."
Billy frowned. "That doesn't make sense. He would presume you'd be coming from the other end of the hall from the vending area. Are you sure it was Tommy?"
"Yeah. I mean, who else could it have been?"
"So after the ice machine exploded, the pop machine growled at me, everyone on the fourth floor bowed down to me, and the candy machine ate my dollar, I came down to the lobby," Jason finished.
Carrie shook her head. "That… that's more weirdness in one day than I have had in the past six months."
"Tell me about it," Jason said.
"So when you say the ice machine 'exploded,' you—" Carrie broke off as her cell phone rang. "Jenny! Aw, damn, I forgot all about her! Do you mind?" she asked, motioning to the phone.
"No, no, be my guest."
Carrie pressed the phone to her ear. "Hey, girl, I'm so sorry I… what? What? He… ninja? Okay, I… uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What? I see. Are you sure that…? What? He did what? They're doing what? For crying out loud, Jenny, why would I have an explanation for that?" Carrie listened for a long moment, then sighed. "Hey, listen. That Jason guy? He's Tommy Oliver's friend. I'm gonna put him on the phone. Tell him exactly what you told me, okay?"
Carrie thrust the phone out at him. "I don't think your weirdness is over."
Jason groaned and took the phone. "Hello?"
"There I am, minding my own business," Jenny began without preamble, "when this Kimberly Hart chick shows up and asks for a key to Tommy Oliver's room—"
"Did you give her one?" Jason demanded.
"No. Well, she stole one while I was dealing with freaky occurrence number two, but I don't think she activated it. Now shut up and listen. While I'm trying to figure out if I should give her a key, room 604 calls and tells me some crazy guy is banging on the door, asking to use the balcony and insisting that he's not a stripper." Jenny paused, waiting for a response. Jason, unable to figure out why she'd stopped talking, impatiently asked her to continue, his mind already wandering to possible causes and reactions. "So I tell them I'll watch the tapes, and it turns out to be this Tommy Oliver guy. He kept listening at doors, pounding on a few of them. Then he was out of camera view for a second, and when the camera focused on him again, he was dressed like a ninja."
Oh, crap, Jason thought in horror. "A ninja?"
"Yes, a ninja. Only in a white outfit instead of black. He had ten seconds, max, and he wasn't even carrying a bag! Then he disappears into room 628 and a few minutes later, this stripper dressed like a cop shows up and drags that Kimberly chick out of a pile of ice in the vending area—if I find the bastard who broke that ice machine I'll have him assassinated—"
"Back to Kimberly," Jason said hastily.
"Anyway, the two of them start working together. When they figured out they couldn't get the keycard to work, they busted into room 603, dragged a cute guy out, and dumped another guy off of a cot into the hallway."
"Where the two guys wearing blue?" Jason demanded.
"Huh? Yeah. How'd you guess?"
"I'm psychic. Keep going."
"Well, the guy from the cot folded it up and marched off into the elevator. The stripper—"
"You're sure it's a stripper and not an actual cop?"
"I've been in the hotel business for a while now. He was alone, no gun, and way too hot to be an actual cop. I know there's a bachelorette party up on the sixth floor, too. The fact that he was carrying a stereo until he ran into the Kimberly chick didn't make it any harder to guess, either."
"But the stripper isn't Tommy."
"No. Tommy's the ninja, remember?"
"Ah. Yes. Go on."
"Well, now the stripper, the other guy, and Kimberly are currently fooling with the electronic lock on Tommy Oliver's door. Got any logical explanations for any of that?"
"Not a one. What I do have are instructions."
"Instructions? Excuse me? Between the broken ice machine and breaking-and-entering, not to mention the keycard theft—"
"Listen. If you interrupt Billy, the guy they woke up, in the middle of fooling with that lock, you'll never repair it properly. Ever. Let him do whatever he's going to do to the lock, because I can guarantee he'll put it back the way it was as soon as Kimberly's inside. That way, you won't catch any flack from your boss for not noticing that there were strippers and vandals on the sixth floor."
"I can't say that doesn't appeal to me," Jenny said slowly. "Are you sure he'll fix it back the way it was?"
"I'm positive. Billy can't stand to leave things broken, and Kim will want to cover her tracks."
"Regardless, I can't just let people break into other people's rooms."
"You ever have an issue with an ex that you wanted to smack around?"
Jenny snorted. "More than I can count."
"Well, Tommy is Kimberly's ex-boyfriend. Earlier today he stole her underwear and refused to give it back. She's just trying to one-up him."
"I'm just supposed to trust you? Random married man chatting up my best friend in the middle of the night?"
"Hey, if I was doing anything not-so-moral with her, would we have bothered answering the phone? We're old friends. We're just catching up. If you don't want to trust me, trust Carrie. And for your information, I fear my wife almost as much as I love her."
Jenny sighed. "There's still the broken ice machine."
"Once Billy's done, he'll probably go fix the ice machine himself; he can't resist the urge to repair things. Kim will be in and out before you'd have time to send security. At which point, I imagine—and hope—that the stripper will be on his merry way to wherever he was going previously."
"If I find out you're lying to me, I'll have you assassinated."
Jason grinned wryly. "I'm not. And even if I was, you'd never find an assassin good enough. Many have tried and failed."
"Okay, fine, one last question. How'd he do that trick with the ninja costume?"
"I don't know. Maybe your camera has some sort of delay or glitch; he couldn't do it that fast. But I know the guys in 603, they're friends of ours, and we were planning on a costume party Friday night. He probably hopped in there and grabbed one, and your tape messed up and made it seem like it only took three seconds."
"Wouldn't be the first time the tapes have glitched," Jenny said slowly. "I guess that's possible. Put Carrie back on."
Jason handed the phone back to Carrie. "I'll come back soon," she promised. She listened for a moment. "Okay, then." She hung up and shook her head. "Jenny said to take my time; she's having a blast watching the tapes. But I guess you've got to go, huh? Deal with the weirdness?"
Jason sighed. He really should go interrupt Kimberly before she could break into the room; she probably had some sort of heinous plan for Tommy in addition to stealing back her clothing. However, Tommy wasn't in the room… he was in 628… being a ninja… how could he be stupid enough to morph in the hotel, in a hallway with a camera, just a few hours after finding out that he was no longer suspected of being the Black Ranger?
It occurred to him suddenly that moments like these were exactly why he'd sat down on Carrie's desk. Whether it was her presence or just a coincidence, Jason again felt like he was in a bubble, safe from the insanity. He had a moment of peace here, and he was reluctant to leave it.
"You know what?" Jason said slowly. "We do this sort of stuff all the time. It's nonstop chaos. I don't think my going back there will change anything. Besides, we've been talking for about an hour and I still don't know much more about you than when I got here. I'll stay. It'll just have to work out without me."
Jason shoved away the pang of guilt, settled back against the tree trunk, and looked expectantly at Carrie, trying not to think of ninjas, strippers, ice or videotapes. He of all people knew the chaos would be there when the bubble popped.
"How long is this going to take?" Marco asked. "The girls in 628 are probably wondering where their stripper is." Marco glanced down the hall, where he'd left his stereo when he'd rescued Kimberly from the ice machine.
"It shouldn't be long," Billy assured him. "By the way, Kimberly—before you go in there, there's something you should know."
"What? You know where my clothes are?"
Billy winced. He did know where they were—under one of the beds—but he rather felt he was helping Kimberly enough for one night. "No. After you left the room, before the clothing theft, Tommy, Jason, Zack, Adam, Rocky and I drank a little beer."
"You? You drank beer?"
"I am twenty-five, you know," Billy said dryly. He often found it a tad irritating when people expected him to be far more sweet and innocent than they themselves were; it was something that had happened a lot back in high school, as everyone assumed that a nerd like Billy must have no life experience whatsoever.
"I know. I just don't recall ever hearing about you drinking."
Billy reminded himself that unlike others who'd made assumptions about him, Kimberly hadn't meant to judge. "I haven't had the chance. I've been living among a—the Amish," Billy amended hastily, remembering Marco's presence. "Anyway, the point is, that, um, Amish water we all drank earlier?"
"Uh-huh?" Kimberly asked, carefully avoiding Marco's questioning look. She was pretty sure that the Amish didn't make specialty water.
"I'm used to its effects; I've been drinking it for years. However, it would appear that, when combined with alcohol and given to one who isn't used to it, it has… side effects."
"What kind?" Kimberly demanded.
"Well, if one tries to enter a REM cycle after consuming both, they… well, I believe you heard Rocky yelling about teapots?"
"That was because of the water?"
"And the beer. I assume it only happens to one who attempts to dream, then is awoken. Or only to Rocky; I haven't observed the others. My point is, if you were to wake Tommy or one of the others up, you could find yourselves dealing with someone quite out of their mind."
"Oh, well that's good to know," Kimberly grumbled.
"I'll say," Marco agreed nervously.
"If they have yet to fall asleep, they shouldn't have manifested any side effects, and if they continue sleep throughout the night, they should be fine. In theory. I just thought you should be aware that waking them up will be detrimental. It took ages before Rocky stopped babbling constantly, and he's still apparently muttering about teapots every so often."
Just then, the door swung open with a soft click. "There you are, Kimberly," Billy whispered. "Give me just a moment to reassemble the lock; I don't want you to wake him up while I'm fiddling with the door."
"Sure thing," Kimberly replied quietly. "Thanks, Billy."
"The pleasure's mine," he told her. "It's been ages since I had the opportunity to examine the intricacies of a device with which I had no prior experience. Come to think of it, maybe I'll go see if I can disable the booby trap on the ice machine." Billy replaced the handle, then gave it a few tugs to make sure it was in proper working order and reached inside to ensure that both handles were operating correctly. "There. Good luck."
"Thanks. Come on, Marco."
Billy nodded and headed towards the ice machine. He was almost there when Kimberly reemerged with Marco. "Psst! Billy!"
"Yeah?"
"Tommy and Jason are gone!"
"Where'd they go?"
"I don't know! I was hoping you did!"
"I have no idea. I saw Tommy in the hall earlier, banging on a few doors and yelling something about balconies," Billy told her, omitting the part about strippers for Marco's sake. "When the yelling stopped, I assumed he'd gone back to sleep. He seemed a little out of it, so maybe he'd already been affected by the combination of water and alcohol, though. He could be anywhere. And I couldn't even begin to guess at Jason's whereabouts."
"Damn! My entire evil plan is ruined!"
"At least you can still reclaim your belongings," Billy pointed out. "Any other parts of your plan will simply have to be implemented at a later date."
Kimberly sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. Oh, well. Come on, Marco. Let's go."
Billy let out a sigh of relief as she disappeared back into Tommy's room. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Kimberly had been planning some pretty major payback. He was glad that, whatever the reason Tommy had been running amok in the hallway, at least he'd escaped Kimberly's wrath.