There are plenty more flowers in the jar
When he held me in his arms
It still brought up the scars
I've been hiding for so long

Dotter – My Flower

Chapter 65

Two tragedies in life

I was nervous when I lied on my bed under the covers; I had been waiting for a while. Rebekah hadn't been pleased when I had asked to sleep in my own room, but she had finally agreed when I had said that I needed a moment by myself. Still I kept hearing hers, papa's, or maybe Uncle Finn's footsteps behind my door for every now and then. They hadn't guarded me this much even when I had really been a child. I really wasn't sure what I was doing. Everything was much more complicated than I had imagined. What had I imagined then? That everything would be perfect after I would have an adult's body? Hardly.

So far all I had managed to do was upset papa and Rebekah. Then there were Klaus and Kol… Two men who I loved. I needed to speak with them. About what? I really wasn't sure. I sighed and absentmindedly touched the pink teddy bear next to me. Rebekah had bought it for me today and placed it beside me when I had gone to bed. She had kissed my cheek and insisted of tucking me in, although she hadn't done that for a long time. I was hoping that she simply needed time to adjust my new appearance; I had been her baby for so long. The last thing I wanted was to make her or papa feel bad.

How could I blame them for being confused when I hadn't really got used to my new body either. Sure I had looked at my reflection in the mirror for a long while after the spell had been completed, but everything had happened so fast after that. All I had thought about was to come home and share my joy with the people I loved. Great job so far. Somehow this body still didn't feel like my own. I closed my eyes and let my hands to wander under the covers. Breasts… For so long I had wanted to have them. These ones were quite large. I couldn't help but smile when I remembered the reaction of the first man who had seen my new body. His expression had been simply priceless and I had been too disoriented to realize that I was naked. He had tried his best to act like a gentleman, but he hadn't really succeeded.

"What do you think you're doing, she's naked! Turn around!"

"Sorry… I'm sorry, flea. You look…amazing."

I didn't feel very amazing at the moment. Carefully I touched my breasts through my nightgown. It was more than a chaste white nightgown that would have suited perfectly for a nun or maybe some elderly lady. Of course I knew that it was perfectly normal for a woman to touch herself, but I still felt weird and somehow guilty, like I would have done something wrong. Was I doing something wrong? Sure I had been more than curious about these things, but it was kind of difficult to even think about trying something like this when anyone could just walk in here in any moment…

"Need a hand, darling?" a voice suddenly whispered in my ear.

I startled so much that I would have screamed if a hand wouldn't have covered my mouth. My eyes flew open and I saw Kol hovering over me, he was grinning. If it would have been physically possible for me to blush, my face would have been bright red; I had never been so embarrassed.

"I was just…" I murmured when he removed his hand.

"It's okay, darling," he whispered and touched my cheek. "No need to explain anything to me. I mean really, who wouldn't want to touch those?"

I frowned and slapped his arm.

"Hilarious."

He smiled and observed me intently.

"You truly are beautiful, darling…"

I didn't have time to say anything when Klaus appeared next to the bed.

"We need to go," he whispered tensely.

Kol didn't seem pleased at all, but he stood up and offered me his hand.

"What?" I whispered. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," Klaus replied smiling and cocked his head towards the open window. I had no idea how they had managed to open it from outside. "Come, I'll carry you."

"No, I'll carry you," Kol said.

I rolled my eyes and zoomed to the window.

"I'm over a 500-years-old vampire, why would I need either of you to carry me?"

I jumped down before they managed to reply. The night air was fresh and the grass felt nice under my bare feet. No more than a second later both of them were next to me.

"Follow me, sweetheart," Klaus said and headed to the woods.

I wanted to ask what was going on, but instead I just zoomed after him, Kol was right behind me. I loved feeling the wind on my face, it made me feel free. And I couldn't deny how much I had missed spending time with Klaus and Kol, the three of us had always had a good time together. It didn't take long when we arrived to a field and I saw a campfire. Klaus turned to look at me and smiled.

"What do you think, love? Just like good old times."

"We thought you could use a break," Kol added. "Elijah and Rebekah can be a bit…overprotective."

"They mean well," I replied. "But thank you, this was very considerate of you."

They both smiled and replied almost simultaneously.

"You're welcome."

"There's more," Klaus added and picked up a box that was lying on the ground.

"What's this?" I asked when he handed the box to me.

"Open it."

I did and picked up a sleeveless lavender chiffon gown. It was beautiful.

"Something you can wear outside the nunnery," Kol said grinning.

"Do you like it, love?" Klaus asked.

I nodded and smiled at them.

"It's beautiful, thank you. But I don't think papa and Rebekah would…"

"They don't need to know," Klaus cut in. "Try it on, there's just the three of us here."

I admired the gown for a moment; I really did want to try it on.

"Alright, turn around," I said.

They seemed a bit confused.

"Come on," I huffed. "Do you really think I would undress in front of you two? I'm a lady. Chop, chop, turn around."

They didn't look very pleased, but they obeyed. Quickly I took my nightgown off and wore the gown. It felt nice to wear womanly clothes.

"Okay, I'm done."

"You look ravishing, sweetheart," Klaus said as soon as he turned to look at me.

"More than that," Kol added.

"Thank you. So, what now?"

"Dance with me," Kol said before Klaus managed to speak. "Just like old times."

"What? There's no music…"

He picked up his phone.

"Remember this?"

I smiled when I recognized the song, Perfect Day by Lou Reed. Kol and I had listened to it back in the 70's and danced in his room. He had known how to cheer me up when I had felt down. I smiled when he took my hand and put his other hand on my lower back.

"You don't have to lift me up anymore," I giggled.

"No, I don't," he murmured and tightened his embrace. He didn't let go when the song ended, but Klaus took a hold of my arm.

"My turn. Come on, sweetheart."

His song was from the 20's; we had danced it in a speakeasy. I laughed when he spun me around, just like he had done back then.

"My Eva," he murmured and wrapped his arms around me. Usually I enjoyed being close to him, but now I felt uncomfortable, especially when I saw the look in Kol's eyes. I was such an idiot; nothing was the same than before.

"Alright, enough," Kol snapped and marched over to me. "Tell him, Eva," he demanded and took a hold of my arm. "Tell him that you want to be with me."

Klaus tightened his grip on my other arm.

"She wants to be with me. Don't you, Eva? I want you to be my wife."

"She loves me!" Kol snapped. "She always has."

"She belongs to me," Klaus replied icily.

"Stop it…" I tried, but neither of them was listening. I tried to free myself, but they didn't let go, they started to pull me around like a ragdoll. It hurt.

"Stop it!" I shouted, but they didn't listen, they were too busy yelling at each other. They were actually growling at each other like some kind of beasts, all their self-control was long gone. I started to struggle, but they were stronger, I only managed to hurt myself more.

"No, stop…"

The sudden ripping sound made me to gasp in shock. They had both took a hold of my gown and managed to tore it to shreds. When I burst into tears they finally stopped and let me go. Tears of shame and anger were coursing down my cheeks when I tried to cover my breasts with my arms.

"Eva…" Klaus murmured. "I'm so…"

"You know what," I said coldly and lowered my arms. "Go ahead, look then. Touch if you want. This is all I am to you two now, right? A pair of breasts."

"No!"

"I considered you two my best friends and family, but I guess you feel you don't have to respect me anymore or even treat me like a person. So, take a good look, this is going to be the last time you'll see my body."

I didn't listen to their apologies; I simply grabbed my nightgown and zoomed back to the mansion. Shower… I really needed a shower. Fortunately I made it back to my room unnoticed. Slowly I made my way to my bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I hated what I was seeing. Oscar Wilde had definitely been right when he said that there were only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it