Chapter Seventy-three

Climb Every Fountain

Once they had gotten Tommy calmed down, he began to firmly pretend that nothing had happened. The twelve of them ate breakfast at the back of the restaurant, sorting out the details of last night's multiple fiascos until everyone was on the same page. Tommy stayed silent for the entire meal, refusing to answer any questions about Marco, the ice machine, or the suicidal ninja stripper rumors; Jason filled in the blanks with bits that Jenny had told him.

At ten-thirty they made their way out into the parking lot and said goodbye to Rocky and Adam, who promised to call the others when they got back from Los Angeles. The group split up into Dino Rangers and originals and headed for the mall.

"The mall," Kimberly breathed happily as they reconvened in the parking lot. "One million, two hundred and seventy-six thousand square feet of perfection."

"Why am I not surprised that you know the exact square footage of this place when you haven't even lived in the city since 1996?" Zack asked, shaking his head.

"You know, with as much fun as this vacation has been, it feels good to be doing something normal for the day," Conner said. "I mean, it's a mall. How crazy could it get?"

"Conner! You're going to jinx us!" Ethan complained.

"Don't worry, Ethan," Kimberly said. "This is the Angel Grove Mall. It's a safe haven. Completely weirdness-free. Even with all the incredible shopping opportunities L.A. has to offer, I just can't stop coming back. It was like my second home as a kid."

"More like your first," Jason teased.

"Get back to the part where this place is weirdness-free?" Ethan said hopefully.

"Oh, forget that. Let's move on to introducing you to my friends at EB Games," Trini told him. "George is a total urban legends nut; you'll love him."

"Video game store is after Billy's appointments," Kimberly said sternly. "He's got the eye doctor at eleven and the salon at noon—"

"Salon?" Billy repeated in alarm.

"Yes. I told you about that. Weren't you listening?"

"You didn't say salon. You said we should be finished with the appointments by two o'clock at the latest, at which point we could move on to purchasing computers and video games before moving on to clothes! Why do I need to go to a salon?"

"For a haircut."

"I can get a haircut at Fantastic Sam's before I depart," Billy said desperately.

"Fantastic Sam's? I don't think so. Besides, salons are a much better plan. And we should get you a few good hair care products, maybe even highlights—"

Billy looked beseechingly at the others. "Help."

"You're on your own," Zack said quickly.

Trini smiled encouragingly at Billy. "Come on, Billy. Let Kimberly fix you up. She wouldn't steer you wrong."

"I don't wish to be steered at all!"

Kimberly grabbed Billy's arm and looked him in the eye. "Billy. You can fight this if you want. But we both know you're not going to win. Save me the trouble, eh?" Billy's shoulders sagged in defeat. Kimberly smiled brightly at him and turned to the others. "Now. I figured I'd go to the eye doctor with him—"

"Trini's coming too, right?" Billy asked, figuring he needed someone along who was good at talking Kimberly down.

"Yeah, she's coming too. But all ten of us don't have to sit in the waiting area. What say we meet up in the food court about one-thirty? We should be done with the appointments by then."

"Good luck," Zack said, clapping Billy on the back before turning to Kira. "I want to show you Meso Atomic. Best record store in Angel Grove."

"Sounds like fun," Kira said. They started across the parking lot for the main entrance.

"Jase and I were going to check out the Penalty Box," Tommy said. "Sports memorabilia," he added for the Dino Rangers' benefit.

"Conner, you in?" Jason asked.

"Yeah, definitely," Conner replied eagerly, his tone clearly saying he'd accompany Jason for a swim with piranhas if Jason invited him.

"I'll come with you guys," Trent said. "Ethan, you coming?"
"Nah, I want to go to the record store, too. The special-edition soundtrack for Asteroid Conquest just came out."

The front entrance opened into an atrium, with a large fountain in its center. A fountain carved into the likeness of the Red, Yellow, Blue, Pink, Black and White Mighty Morphin Power Rangers in battle poses, with the water gushing out of the tips of each Ranger's Power Weapon. Shallow steps led down to the fountain, which was surrounded by wooden benches in various Ranger colors. A few people were milling around aimlessly or lounging on benches, waiting for the stores to open at eleven.

"Wow," Conner said, staring at the fountain. "How come we never got a fountain?"

"Councilwoman Sanchez is actually lobbying for statues downtown," Tommy told him. "Monuments, perhaps even color-coded ones."

"Yeah, but you guys got a fountain," Conner complained. Tommy rolled his eyes.

"It's a little gaudy," Kimberly said as she skipped down the steps to the mall directory in front of the fountain, "but who am I to argue with an homage?"

"I thought you said you knew this place by heart," Kira said as Kimberly peered intently at the directory.

"I do. But I want to make sure nothing's changed. Hmm… looks like they moved Fashion Bug down by Sears… and they put in a Hot Topic… hey! They put it in where Unicorn Utopia used to be!"

"Kim, they only sold unicorn figurines. How long were they really going to last?" Jason pointed out.

"Unicorn Utopia is no longer in business?" Billy demanded, rushing over to look at the directory.

"You like unicorns?" Ethan asked incredulously.

"My Thunderzord was a unicorn," Billy replied absently. "My father became quite unnerved at my sudden fascination with unicorns when we acquired the Thunderzords. Ah, well, at least I was able to explain my actions on Tuesday."

"I think they might've relocated," Trini said. "I could have sworn I saw a sign for Unicorn Utopia on Jones Street."

"Who puts a Hot Topic in a storefront once owned by something called Unicorn Utopia?" Kira demanded.

"I knew it," Ethan muttered. "This place isn't a safe haven. It's as weird as the rest of the universe."

"Hey, it's a wishing well kinda deal," Conner called, leaning over the fountain's rim to peer into the water. "There's a ton of coins in here."

"Says here that the proceeds go to the Victims of Rita and Zedd Foundation," Trent said, pointing out a plaque on the fountain's side. "What's that?"

"People who lost something in a zord battle or evil scheme," Tommy explained. "Cars that were crunched, buildings that were destroyed, belongings that were stolen or damaged, hospital bills for injuries. Of course, most of that's stopped accruing, but there were a few people with long-term injuries from monsters and some people are still in crisis counseling for, you know, freaking out from being kidnapped or whatever."

"You sound really blasé about kidnapping, Dr. O," Kira commented.

"Hey, you were kidnapped what, once? I was kidnapped once a month in high school. It's not really scary after the first few times."

"How do you tell which is which without the colors?" Conner asked, tilting his head to the side and staring up at the fountain. "Is this one Kimberly or Trini?"

"That's Kim," Trini explained. "I didn't have a skirt, for some reason. You can tell the others by the weapon and the helmet."

"The water is moving pretty fast for a fountain," Trent commented.

"They thought it was more Power-Ranger-esque," Tommy explained, staring up at the White Ranger. He sighed. "They got Saba totally wrong. The angel of the curve of the blade is off."

Ethan stared down at the plaque, which read "Make a Wish on Our City's Heroes." Well. What better way to stave off the weirdness than to make a wish on the original Power Rangers?

Ethan pulled a quarter out of his pocket and closed his eyes. Please, whoever's listening, let today go smoothly, he thought, then hurled the coin in the general direction of the fountain with all his might.

"OW!"

Ethan's eyes snapped open. Ethan's quarter was bouncing across the atrium. Conner was clutching the side of his head. He spun to glare at Ethan, opened his mouth to say something, and suddenly he was toppling backwards off-balance as if pushed by the hand of some invisible god.

Ethan stared in horror. No way. No way Conner lost his balance like that. Not Conner, leader of the Dino Thunder Power Rangers. Not Conner, soccer prodigy. Not Conner. No. No.

Conner fell back towards the fountain as if in slow motion. His arms began to flail for something to stop his fall. Then one hand seized hold of the shaft of the Pink Ranger's arrow, just before the arrowhead. Conner tried to use it for leverage, to swing himself out of the gushing water, and succeeded. He twisted to the side, rolled away. Safe. Safe, and not in the fountain.

Ethan was all set to breathe a sigh of relief when he realized that somehow the arrowhead had come off in Conner's hand. There was a crack, a hiss, and then an explosion of water shot out, bursting undirected from the broken arrow.

"You broke it!" Kimberly screamed. "You broke the mall! You broke the mall! You broke me!"

"I didn't mean to!" Conner insisted, throwing the arrowhead into the fountain in a panic.

For some strange reason—whether it be the arrowhead lodging in a drain, a malfunction with the fountain itself, or just a higher power going "Mwahaha!"—the fountain suddenly stopped draining. The high-pressure water spouts continued to pour. In moments, it was going to overflow.

There were fifteen civilians standing or sitting around the fountain. They stared up at the fountain silently, waiting with baited breath. Then, almost in perfect unison, they spurred into action.

If this had happened in any other city in America, even a city that had once had its own set of Power Rangers like Reefside or Blue Bay Harbor, there would have been instant chaos. Running, screaming, and panic, or at the very least a hasty retreat. However, these people weren't your everyday civilians.

These civilians were from Angel Grove.

A man dove for the fountain, plunging his head into it and fishing around for whatever was clogging the drain even as water began sloshing over the side. A girl kicked off her sandals, hopped into the fountain and tried to stem the flow of water from the broken arrow. Another man ran to a nearby trash can and yanked the bag out of it, then rushed back to the fountain with the can and filled it with water. A woman copied his example.

"Get to higher ground!" shouted a middle-aged man with a militant look about him. A teenaged boy picked up his elderly grandmother and rushed up the stairs with her. "Form a brigade; we'll have to bail the water out!"

The remaining civilians formed a line to the front entrance. The man with the trashcan passed it down the line. The elderly woman and her grandson headed for the door; the woman held the door open, and the teenager dumped the bucket and began passing it back in. The woman with the trashcan filled hers and passed it down the line to be dumped as the empty can came back.

The man with his head in the fountain popped back up. "No good! It's wedged tight!"

"You!" the middle-aged man barked, pointing at Conner. Conner looked up at him in terror. "Go on, get out of here! We all know it was an accident, but it won't be easy to convince mall security of that! Beat it! We'll make something up for you!"

"You heard him!" Jason yelled. "Go! Go! Go!"

"Shouldn't some of us help with the brigade?" Ethan asked, mortified at the effects of his wish for normality.

"They can handle it," Tommy said tersely as the ten of them rushed up the stairs and down the corridor.

"You broke the mall!" Kimberly wailed. "You broke the mall!"

"Shh!" Jason hissed grimly as they rushed away from the fountain.

"Slow down!" Zack called. "Running is suspicious!"

They skidded to a halt, then began walking as calmly and inconspicuously as they could, considering half of Conner's shirt was soaked and Kimberly was moaning about the broken statue.

"Eye doctor, to the right," Trini said. Billy and Trini veered off, dragging Kimberly with them.

"Record store's upstairs," Zack said, pointing out an escalator. Zack, Ethan and Kira headed for it.

"Don't go making any more wishes with your eyes closed, Ethan!" Trent called after them.

Tommy, Jason, Conner and Trent continued on towards the Penalty Box. Conner grimaced as a pair of security guards went running by. "Safe haven, my ass," Conner muttered, shaking out his wet sleeve.

Despite their rough start, the next two and a half hours went fairly smoothly. Ethan, Kira and Zack had a blast in the music store and Tommy, Jason, Conner and Trent found some equilibrium in the Penalty Box. The seven of them met up at the food court promptly at one-thirty and sat down to wait. And wait. And wait some more.

"It's almost two o'clock," Zack complained. "Where are they?"

"Think Billy will come out with a Mohawk or something?" Jason asked.

"Nah. Kimberly would never let something like that happen on her watch," Zack replied.

"Things are looking good on the fountain," Conner reported. Their table was right up against a railing, beyond which was a twenty-foot drop down to the atrium. "They got it shut off, anyway." The fountain had flooded over the first two stairs all around, despite the best efforts of the bucket brigade, all of whom were still there, pants rolled up, the line fortified by two dozen more people.

"There they are!" Kira called. "At least, I think… whoa. He looks like something you'd see on one of those makeover shows."

Trini, Billy and Kimberly marched over, Kimberly glowing with pride and Billy looking reluctantly pleased. Billy was still clothed in his Wal-Mart jeans and an old shirt of Ethan's, but his glasses were gone and his shaggy hair was now short, tousled, gelled, and a lighter shade of blond.

"Well?" Kimberly demanded, gesturing at him as if she was showing off the prize on a game show.

There was a general murmur of "Good," "Great," and "Nice," which didn't quiet any of Billy's reservations about Kimberly's makeover. Kira rolled her eyes at the lack of enthusiasm from the guys. "You look good, Billy," she assured him. "Hot."

"Yeah, way hot," Zack added in a high-pitched, breathy tone. "OW!" he complained as Kira's foot connected with his shin.

"Thank you," Billy said dryly, sitting down and attempting to run a hand over his gelled hair, but Kimberly smacked his hand away. "Here's hoping I'm not deemed an imposter upon my return to Aquitar."

"You get new glasses, too?" Jason asked.

"They'll be in within a week," Billy replied. "They're incredible. Flexible wire frame, scratch-resistant lenses…"

"Where are the old glasses?" Trent asked.

"In my pocket," Billy said firmly, giving Kimberly a sidelong glance, as if she'd tried to convince him to toss them out. "The doctor happened to have a trial pair of contact lenses in my prescription. Apparently my vision has been approving with the assistance of Aquitian water—"

"Please, don't mention that stuff," Ethan groaned. "I had to sleep in the elevator because of it, for crying out loud."

"You got off easy," Tommy told him. "Hey, Billy, there's something I don't get. From what I understand, the effects were from mixing the water with beer, right?"

"Affirmative, but one also had to enter a disrupted REM cycle. Jason didn't sleep, so he escaped the adverse effects, but Rocky was awoken by Conner—"

"And I woke up from a nightmare. What I don't get is that I woke up Adam and Zack. Rocky was singing about teapots, Adam was worshipping wildebeests, and I was, well, a little off—"

"You call pretending to be a stripper a little off? Because if that's the case, I'd hate to see you when you're a lot off," Conner joked.

"Come to think of it, how come I didn't go all wildebeest cult?" Zack mused. "I did the same thing Adam and Rocky did."

"It's possible you hadn't entered REM sleep when you were awakened," Billy said. "However, I would imagine the degree of the loss of cognitive reasoning ability and general lucidity was personalized given a variety of vectors, primarily the duration of time one spent in an altered state of consciousness on a regular basis and the individual's ties to the subconscious. It really is a fascinating phenomenon worthy of prolonged study. Then, too, there is individual exposure to brainwave altercations, such as hypnotic—"

"You lost me somewhere near 'cognitive,'" Zack interrupted.

"It depends on how in touch you are with your subconscious," Trini said. "What about the morphing grid, Billy?"

"Yes, one might presume that the individual ties to the morphing grid are directly proportional to the lapse of mental stability, because they all had varying degrees of exposure to different powers."

"Zack was one Ranger, Rocky two, Adam three, Tommy five," Trini agreed. "It'd be a lot of fun to examine the effects on a long-term basis, especially if one varied the degrees of alcohol and Aquitian water—although I suppose there would be a problem with determining whether or not they were building up a tolerance—"

"Personally, I'd love to test the Dino Rangers," Billy said, looking at them the way a mad scientist might gaze at specimen jars. "They were all exposed to only one power, and that power is now dormant—"

"And Trent!" Trini added. "God, wouldn't he be fun? An altered Dino Gem that warped his personality until it was completely rewired…"

"I wouldn't be fun," Trent said firmly.

"Can we talk about something else now?" Conner asked.

"Yeah, that got kind of creepy kind of way too fast," Ethan agreed.

"Never let Billy mess with your brain," Kimberly joked. "You might end up wandering around in his shoes."

"Those weren't my shoes. You bought me a whole new wardrobe," Billy retorted.

"Yeah, well, you covered my entire head in lipstick," Kimberly shot back, sticking out her tongue. "Billy switched our brains once," she added to the teens.

"Technically, Rita made my devise malfunction," Billy pointed out. "It was actually her."

"All the same, no one touches my brain," Trent repeated emphatically.

"Relax. I couldn't experiment on you even if you were willing to participate; at least, not within the current parameters of the law," Billy told him. "However, if you change your mind once you turn twenty-one…"

"Billy, please don't try to convince teenagers in my care to play Frankenstein with you," Tommy said.

Kira randomly burst out laughing. Everyone turned to look at her. "Oh, sorry," she said sheepishly. "Adam said something really funny yesterday about Billy and Frankenstein."

"What'd he say?" Trent asked.

"Mm… kinda sworn to secrecy," Kira said apologetically. She grimaced. "Ooh, okay, Adam's story and current conversation? Not blending well. New subject time."

"So where are we going now?" Conner asked.

"Video games?" Billy asked hopefully.

"I was hoping we could get you some clothes first," Kimberly said. "So you wouldn't have to wander around dressed like that."

"I don't mind being dressed like this. Please, Kimberly?"

Kimberly sighed. "You're way better at the puppy dog eyes without the glasses, you know."

"Thank you!" Billy stood up. "Anyone other than Trini and Ethan coming?"

"Um," Ethan said tentatively, "just so we're clear, if I still come, there's not going to be any experimenting on my brain, right?"

"Of course not," Billy said, almost managing to sound offended at the suggestion.

Trini pulled Ethan's chair back from the table. "Come on. I think we could use you on the creative team for our next evil plan."

Ethan perked up. "Really? Oh, I am so in. Bye, guys!"

The others stared after them for a moment. Then Zack pointed in the direction they'd gone. "Not going to end well," he proclaimed.

"Duh," Tommy, Jason and Kimberly replied simultaneously.

"I wanna help with the evil plan," Conner said, pouting.

"Not me. I've done of enough of them," Trent said.

"Well," Kimberly said, pushing herself up from the table, "I think it's time to get down to business. I'm going shopping. Kira, you in?"

"Guess a few more hours of pretending to be a girl won't kill me," Kira agreed.

"Let's meet at EB in, say, an hour and a half?" Jason suggested. "Trini, Ethan and Billy will probably still be there."

The girls nodded and headed out. Jason looked around at the remaining group. "Where to now?"

"I kind of wanted to check out that T-shirt shop we passed on the way here," Trent said.

"Me, too," Conner said.

"Can't. I've been banned," Zack told them apologetically. "Had a fling with the girlfriend of the guy who works there. Not that I knew she was taken. Until I almost lost an ear."

"…An ear?" Conner repeated incredulously.

"Long story."

"You two can go alone if you want," Tommy told Conner and Trent. "Just don't cause any chaos. Meet us at EB. Check the directories if you get lost and call me if you get into trouble."

"Dude, it's a mall," Conner told him as he and Trent stood up. "It's not like we're strangers to the mall atmosphere. We're not going to burn the place down."

"Especially not after all that preemptive flooding," Zack joked.

Tommy sighed. "Go, before my common sense gets back from its lunch break."

The two boys bolted. "Well then," Jason said, tilting his chair back and lacing his fingers behind his head. "Been a while since the three of us caused our own personal brand of chaos. Any ideas?"

Normally, the idea of more chaos would have made Tommy groan. But not now, when it was just him and his two best friends… and his ex-girlfriend was loose in the mall.

"A few," Tommy said with a purely evil grin.

End Notes: Update time might slow down for a bit, as we have a lot to prepare if we actually want to drive out to Los Angeles for Power Morphicon—shopping, cleaning, reserving the rental car, etc. But we'll try to shell out a few more chapters before then, especially considering that we probably won't be able to update between June 19 and June 27, or read our reviews or anything. It's a six-day round-trip drive, minimum, plus three days for the convention itself, and we're not sure if we're going to be able to acquire a laptop to take on the trip or not. Even if we do, Interstate 70 doesn't have Internet access, and we'll probably be busy once we're at the convention itself.