Chapter Seventy-four

Do I Know You?

"See, now this is what a vacation should be about," Kimberly said happily. "A trip to the mall with a friend and a credit card. None of that psychotic nonsense. Just endless items up for purchase and someone who's never heard all of Tommy's most embarrassing secrets."

"So that's why you brought me along?" Kira asked.

"Of course not! I brought you along so we could hang. Embarrassing Tommy is just a bonus."

"So," Kira said hopefully, "does that mean you're finally going to tell me the story about Dr. O being called Cinnamon Buns?"

Kimberly burst into a fit of giggles. "Of course," she said, grinning evilly. "But only if you promise to use it to torment him with the memory every so often."

"Not a problem," Kira said eagerly.

"It's not exactly the best story, given its context," Kimberly said slowly. "I mean, it's kind of a… well, it's all about how great a boyfriend Tommy was."

Kira grimaced. "Do I still want to know?"

Kimberly shrugged. "He was really sweet, is all. A little too sweet sometimes. You see… when Tommy and I finally became a couple, I called him a pet name this one time and… well… the guys made fun of him for it like nothing else."

"Cinnamon Buns was a pet name for him?"

"Yes, but the first one I used was Cupcake." Kimberly chuckled. "Then it just sort of stuck. I called him that a few more times. Finally Billy took pity on him and told me that the guys were cracking on Tommy for it, and I thought… well…"

"Yeah?"

"I thought Tommy was an absolute sweetheart for not asking me to quit it even though it was embarrassing the hell out of him. I thought it was cute," she continued. "So I decided to have a little fun with him, see if I could get him to crack and finally be honest with me about the fact that he didn't want me to call him cheesy nicknames. At least, not one as cheesy as 'Cupcake.'"

"Did he?" Kira asked.

"He tried," Kimberly said. "Only… when he did… I couldn't bring myself to give up the charade. It was too much fun."

Flashback

"Um, Kimberly? I… I really… it's not that I don't appreciate how nice it was of you to come up with a pet name for me," Tommy said carefully, "but… um…"

"…You don't like being called Cupcake?" Kimberly asked with an innocently mild frown. Tommy nodded guiltily. "Well, then, I'll stop using it."

"Thanks," Tommy said in relief, glad she was taking it so well.

"I'll just find a new name for you," Kimberly continued. Tommy's eyes widened, but before he could complain, Kimberly started throwing out nicknames. "Hmm… Sweetie? Cutie Pie? Love Muffin? Love Biscuit? Sugar Bear? Pumpkin? …Oh! I know! I'll call you Cinnamon Buns!"

Tommy stared at her, his mouth slightly open in horror and shock. The words "Hell no!" were on the tip of his tongue, but he didn't want to upset her. He didn't want her to keep thinking, either. "Oh… that's… that's…" He tried to say "excellent," or even "good," but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. "…fine," he finished lamely.

"What are you going to call me?" Kimberly asked, looking up at him expectantly.

"Um… let me think about it," he said, shifting uncomfortably. Seeing her frown, he quickly added, "It has to be the perfect name for you. I don't want to just pull one out of a hat. You're too good for just any name."

"That's so sweet!" Kimberly cooed.

End Flashback

Kimberly shook her head and waited for Kira to stop laughing. "I don't know why I was so determined to make him say 'I don't want a pet name.' He just couldn't do it. He couldn't disappoint me. So I refused to let up."

"Oh, that's great," Kira wheezed, clutching her side.

"Then Bulk and Skull got wind of it," Kimberly continued. "Next thing he knew, Tommy couldn't go three feet without being called Cinnamon Buns. And then, eventually, Tommy… snapped."

"How?" Kira choked out through her laughter. Cinnamon Buns… what a god-awful nickname. Though Kira had occasionally thought Dr. O was a bit of a fogy sometimes—like during class lectures—she hadn't ever realized that… "Dr. O was such a dork!" Kira cackled.

"Ah, corruption of Tommy's protégé. Mission accomplished," Kimberly said cheerfully. "Anyway, one day Zack decided to tag Tommy's locker… and it all went downhill from there."

Flashback

Tommy stared at the words on his locker door. "Cinamon Bun's locker." Or possibly "Cinaman Bun's locker;" the handwriting was shaky, as if the person who'd scrawled the words hadn't been able to stop laughing long enough to paint them properly. Tommy wasn't the best at language arts, but he knew that it was spelled "cinnamon," and that the apostrophe should go after the s, not before it. In fact, since it was a name, he was pretty certain that it should read "Buns's," as "Buns" was not a plural noun in this case but part of a singular proper noun that happened to end in s, just like the name "James," the proper possessive form being "James's," not James', and certainly not Jame's.

Point was, whoever wrote this was an idiot.

"Hey, Cinnamon Buns," jibed the voice of none other than Bulk. Tommy was too busy staring at the writing on his locker door to look at him, but he could see Bulk leaning against the locker bank next to him out of the corner of his eye. "That's a nice way to make sure everyone knows your nickname. Why don't you get T-shirts printed up too?"

"T-shirts, that's a good one," Skull crowed, letting loose with his trademark laugh.

Tommy blinked, connecting the dots between "idiot wrote on locker" and "idiot now heckling me." Then, without warning, he turned and lunged at Bulk, his fingers groping for Bulk's throat with intent to strangle.

Bulk, however, was used to this sort of thing; he was, after all, Bulk, and, while he wasn't as fast or flexible as, say, a thin person, he was strong enough to hold nerds upside-down with their heads in the toilet bowl, he was agile enough to avoid most flying objects thrown at his head (provided he saw them coming first) and, when it came to frontal assaults, he was very good at ducking.

Bulk dropped and Tommy's fingers scrabbled uselessly at the wall. Bulk, who had a good sense for these sorts of situations, knew that if he didn't find a good way to deter Tommy, running would be useless; Tommy would chase him, and Tommy would catch him, and despite the fact that Skull was a dimwit he was Bulk's best friend and Bulk didn't want to use him as bait, at least not this time. Knowing he only had one shot to save himself, Bulk, football player extraordinaire, threw his shoulder against Tommy's knees. Tommy collapsed on top of him and Bulk jumped up, causing Tommy to roll to the side. Skull was already screaming in preparation for the coming mad scramble for their lives.

They ran for it. They ran, and they ran, and they ran… and when they checked behind them to see if Tommy was chasing them (yep), they ran right into a door that had just been opened by none other than Principal Caplan. Not that they had time to notice it was Mr. Caplan before they bounced off, Bulk landing headfirst in a nearby trashcan. As Skull fell, he accidentally kicked the trashcan over. Bulk expected this to free him, as it usually did… but instead, it merely pushed him down the hall, straight at Tommy.

"AAAHHHHH!" Bulk screamed as he rolled down the hall, his legs flailing as he tried to find something, anything, to stop him before he hit the wall.

"I'm coming, Bulky!" Skull yelled, rushing off after the speeding trashcan.

"You numbskull!" Bulk roared, sure this was Skull's fault.

Meanwhile, Mr. Caplan looked at Tommy, who'd been forced to halt his pursuit and leap over the trashcan. Mr. Caplan was too used to things like Bulk rolling down the hall in a trashcan to bother paying much attention, but the addition of a pissed-off Tommy glaring after them was fairly rare.

"Something wrong, Mr. Oliver?" Mr. Caplan demanded.

Tommy paused. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked.

Tommy looked at him mournfully. "For not calling me 'Cinnamon Buns,'" he replied, and went to go find the janitor to figure out how to scrub off his locker.

End Flashback

"Oh, man," Kira moaned, shaking her head. "I just can't see it. I've seen him lay into Zeltrax, but whenever we make him mad he just glares or growls or says something. He does not chase. Except for that one time, but that was Conner, and he didn't chase him far, just until Conner made it out of the house…"

"He has his moments," Kimberly said. "We all do, really. But then, who doesn't?" She chuckled. "We still haven't told him it was Zack who tagged his locker. Zack's not all that great with possessives, and he claims the spelling of 'cinnamon' was more a misprint than anything else. Tommy told us how he just couldn't stop staring at it and thinking of all the grammar and spelling mistakes 'Bulk' had made."

Kira continued to cackle at Tommy's expense. "So was that when you finally stopped calling him Cinnamon Buns?"

"Nope," Kimberly admitted sheepishly. "It was about an hour after that, when I said 'hi' to Tommy, and he muttered something and wandered off, and then Skull comes up to me and says—" Kimberly shuddered violently— "'You know, I can be your Cinnamon Buns.'" She pointed a finger down her throat and grimaced. "I mean, Skull was always doing things like that—he had this huge crush on me, it was so annoying, you don't even know—"

"Skull was the skinny one who took us on the tour of Angel Grove, right?" Kimberly nodded. "He didn't seem that bad. A sucky driver, but—"

"Well, he's matured over the years. We kept in touch after I went off to Florida. We became really good friends, even. He's still hopelessly in love with me, but he's learned to handle the fact that I just don't feel that way about him. Back then, he was just a punk. Totally annoying and totally rude. Him and Bulk. Now, well—they might still be total whack jobs, but if it weren't for them the Power Rangers would have lost some key battles, and they were instrumental in defeating Astronema. But anyway, Skull had this huge crush on me so I was used to him saying things like that, but I was so horrified that he used my pet name for Tommy like that—I mean, ew! So I finally came clean and told Tommy that I'd been doing it just to bug him all along."

"How'd he take it?" Kira asked. Kimberly winced and gave Kira a sheepish smile.

Flashback

"You mean to tell me that all this time you've been humiliating me just for the sake of humiliating me?" Tommy roared. Jason, Zack, Trini and Billy, who were watching from a safe distance, cringed and retreated to the hallway outside the Youth Center.

Uh-oh, Kimberly thought, mentally preparing herself to burst into tears if need be. For now, she'd try to pull the adorable trick. She tilted her head to the side, gave him a properly ashamed expression, and pouted slightly. "I'm sorry?"

He glared at her. "Why. Would. You. Do. That?" he growled.

Kimberly let her lips quirk up just a bit. "Because you're really cute when you're mortified."

Tommy stared at her for a second. Then, predictably, he cracked and smiled back. "Kim…"

"Well, you are," she persisted defensively. "You go all shy and you stammer and you always try to make a hasty exit and… and it's cute." Tommy grinned, embarrassed but pleased. "Are you mad?" Kimberly asked.

Tommy shook his head. "Know what?"

"What?"

"I know what I'll call you."

"You do?"

He nodded. "I'll call you 'Beautiful.'"

"Aww," she cooed, feeling an overwhelming rush of affection for him.

"It's the only thing that fits you." Tommy paused. "Just don't ever call me 'Cinnamon Buns' again."

"Agreed."

End Flashback

Kira shook her head, still chuckling. "That was low." She was definitely leaving that part out when she repeated this story to the guys. Conner would say something chauvinistic, and then Kira would have to hit him.

"Never underestimate the power of being a girl," Kimberly said dryly.

"So… is Dr. O, like, a romantic or something?" Kira asked.

Kimberly frowned. She should have known better than to start with the Cinnamon Buns story; it led back to her and Tommy as a happy couple. Kimberly didn't want to go there—she just wanted to bond with Kira and embarrass the crap out of him. "Why do you ask? I thought you weren't part of the Dr. O fan club."

"I'm really, really not," Kira replied with a deep shudder. "But… well, I'm just curious. This one time, when Dr. O was invisible—long story—Ethan was out on a date with this girl named Cassidy and he was just completely tanking. So Dr. O snuck over there and totally saved Ethan's butt. Lit some candles, got some flowers… and it kind of made me realize that we don't really have any idea what Dr. O's like. I mean, we know he's forgetful, and we know he's chronically late, and he's smart and tries to be responsible and he's noble, but we don't know all that much about his personality and his little quirks and all the stuff I know about Conner, Ethan and Trent. I don't even know his hobbies. Plus, the whole saving-Ethan thing was weird. Creepy, even. I didn't think guys actually knew that sort of thing. That's why Conner tends to date airheads, Ethan's still clueless, and Trent's romantic moments are a tad… well, let's just say they're either too conventional or completely unconventional."

Kimberly smiled at her slightly and sighed, suddenly feeling sorry for the Dino Rangers. The age barrier must have been a bit of a problem for them, and she knew that it had probably bugged Tommy to be a Ranger in a way he had never been before—he was their teammate, and yet not their friend. Either he was taking his role as mentor a tad too seriously… or he was a lot less open about himself than he'd been in the past. Both were pretty plausible, but she got the feeling the second one was more likely, and she couldn't help but wonder if Kimberly had something to do with this change. Regardless, she felt Kira should know Tommy as well as the old team had.

"Well, my information is several years old," she said slowly, "but as for his hobbies, he's a real gear head and he likes football and sports in general. Oh, and music. He likes singing. He doesn't sing around other people much but if you attempt to eavesdrop on him sometimes you'll hear him busting out some random song or other. He especially does it in the car and the shower."

"Heard him sing on the way here," Kira said, nodding. "He's… well…"

"Not too great?" Kimberly giggled. "Yeah, I know. Jason once started to mention something about a spell and Tanya giving him lessons, but it was one of those moments when he hurriedly changed the subject because he'd just realized he was talking to Tommy's ex. Anyway, Tommy dances quite a bit, too. Jason and Zack were always trying to help him improve."

Kira giggled. "I can't see Dr. O dancing."

"I went to a lot of dances with him," Kimberly said dryly. "Sometimes, I can't see him dancing. He's also the most competitive guy I've ever met, excepting perhaps Jason. He got over some of it—being a Ranger teaches that pretty quickly—but he's still one of those people always in the game to win or die trying. And he nearly has died several times over. He's not really a sore loser, though. But… as for whether or not he's a romantic…" She sighed and looked away, trying to force away the needles this subject was digging into her chest. "Very. Almost to a creepy extent, according to some of our friends. Flowers, chocolates, fancy dinners, dances, picnics… I never had a complaint. He would always buy me cute little gifts and ask how I was and say the sweetest things. To be perfectly honest, I never found a guy half as romantic as Tommy."

"Do you… do you want to… you know… give it another shot?" Kira asked. Kimberly didn't reply. "I mean, you said you still loved him and all… if I'm out of line, just say so, you don't have to—"

Kimberly smiled at her. "You don't just stop loving people, Kira. I learned that long before I met Tommy. My parents are divorced—they just weren't getting along at all, always fighting, lost all the spice they'd had when they first got married. I was so shocked when I asked my mother why she didn't love my father anymore, and she told me that she did. That she would always love him… but sometimes love isn't enough, you know?"

"I hope I don't," Kira said apologetically, "but I get what you're saying."

Kimberly nodded. "Love doesn't just evaporate—at least, not in my opinion. I could no sooner stop loving Jason, Trini, Zack or Billy than Tommy. He'll always be part of me, just like they will. But it just wasn't meant to be."

"I'm sorry," Kira said softly.

"Don't be," Kimberly told her firmly.

"Why not?" Kira asked.

"Because that's the way it had to be, when you think about it. Before we broke up, Tommy had no idea what to do with his life. Last time I saw him, he was on his way to being a racecar driver. Now, he's a freaking paleontologist—I'd love to know just exactly how that happened—not to mention a teacher and a completely new Ranger. And me, well… we probably wouldn't have broken up if I hadn't left Angel Grove and gone on to be a gymnast. I wouldn't have made it to the Olympics or started my own gymnastics center. I might have even ended up a housewife, watching daytime soaps and raising babies. I'm happy things worked out this way, Kira. If Tommy and I hadn't broken up, we wouldn't be the people we are today."

"Well yeah, but… who are you supposed to be ten years from now?" Kira asked.

Kimberly shrugged. "Personally, I could care less. Now let's go buy some shoes."

"Oh, ugh," Trent complained.

"What?" Conner asked, following Trent's gaze to a black T-shirt with the words "Dance Mania!" in bold white letters on the front. "You don't like dancing?"

"That's the same shirt Dr. O was wearing when he interrupted my pancakes with Kira. Guess this is where he got it."

"Ah." Conner shrugged and headed over to a circular rack of clearance shirts, flipping through them aimlessly. "Never figured Dr. O would be in—ACK! What the hell?"

Trent rushed over to Conner's side, while the clearance rack hissed, "SHH!" in a panicked sort of way.

Trent pushed the shirts aside and stared incredulously into the rack. "Dr. O?"

"Shh! Don't give me away!"

Conner and Trent stared at him. There was something odd about him right now, something playful and carefree and somehow… immature. Of course, it could have just been the fact that he was hiding in a rack full of T-shirts covered with cartoon characters, but Conner and Trent preferred to believe they were being insightful.

"What are you doing?" Trent demanded.

"Having fun. Why? What does it look like?"

"Fun? Okay, you seriously need to get out more," Conner told him.

"Be quiet! You'll give me away. It's almost go time."

At the rack across the aisle from theirs, a shirt squeaked along the railing, seemingly of its own accord. Tommy grabbed a shirt and scraped it back and forth, obviously signaling a co-conspirator. Tommy then took hold of the bar at the top of the rack and gave it a short spin.

"This isn't going to end well, is it," Trent said dryly.

"Shh," Tommy hissed.

"What are you planning?" Conner asked.

"Nothing. We're just messing with the guy who works here," Tommy whispered. "He can't stand the fact that he might be able to ban Zack from this store, but he can't ban him from the entire mall just because Zack stole his girlfriend. Now stop talking to me, would you? I'm in the middle of a secret operation here. Go away."

Trent jerked his head at the entrance. "Come on, Conner. Let's go stand away from the line of fire."

Jason came walking through the entrance as they approached it. He grinned at the two of them, then went to the rack across from Tommy's and began rummaging through the shirts. Then he turned towards the counter. "Hey, man?" he called to the guy at the register. "You got any more of these in a smaller size? My girl would love this."

The guy came out from behind the counter and headed for Jason. He reached out to take the shirt in question from Jason—and suddenly Zack popped up out of the rack, knocking a sale sign across the room in the process.

"Hi, honey, did you miss me?" Zack asked, batting his eyelashes and grinning his head off.

"You!" the guy growled.

"Your girlfriend says hi," Zack said cheerfully.

The guy took a swipe at him. Zack ducked into the rack and rolled out from underneath. The guy made to rush him, but Jason "accidentally" tripped him and he landed flat on his back.

"Ooh, sorry," Jason said in concern, offering him a hand up. The guy ignored it and jumped to his feet, but by then Zack was gone.

Just then, Tommy began pushing his rack across the floor. The guy snarled and lunged at it, but before he was halfway to Tommy another rack started rolling in the opposite direction. He stood indecisive for a moment, then rushed at Zack's rack. By the time he reached it and began shoving the clothes aside, Zack had ditched it and hidden inside another. Jason, meanwhile, had disappeared, so now three racks were moving aimlessly around the store. Before long, the guy was chasing one, then another, like a little kid who really, really sucked at playing tag.

"This is… this is… there aren't words for this," Trent muttered. "Tell me that's not really our science teacher in there."

"Should we help?" Conner whispered.

Trent gave him a disbelieving look. "Um, I'm thinking… no."

It went on for ages. At one point, Jason was almost caught, but just as the guy shoved the shirts apart, Jason rolled out of the bottom, jumped on the counter, vaulted over the guy's head and disappeared. After just a few minutes, every rack was nowhere near its original location and most of the signs that had been on top of them had been switched or knocked away. It was going to take forever for the guy to figure out how to re-label the racks, especially since Jason, Tommy and Zack kept taking clothes with them when they switched hiding spots so that hundred-dollar jackets were on the bargain T-shirt rack and vice-versa. Then, just when Tommy, Jason and Zack had him surrounded and the guy looked ready to scream in frustration, the spinning racks stopped. The guy froze for a long moment, then slowly, cautiously, yanked apart two shirts on the closest rack and discovered it was empty.

Suddenly three more racks slammed into the gaps between the ones surrounding him, and a few moments later three more followed. Before he knew it, the guy was stuck in the center of a tight circle of eighteen racks of mismatched, mislabeled clothing, several of which were wedged against walls or permanent displays to keep them from being easily moved.

Only then did Tommy, Jason and Zack pop up, grinning evilly at the poor shop clerk. "So," Jason drawled, "do you have any more of that T-shirt, or not?"

"Yeah, how about some service?" Tommy added.

With a snarl of fury, the guy dropped from view and began crawling through the racks. By the time he surfaced, Tommy, Jason and Zack were safely out of the store, congratulating each other as they casually walked away, not even doing the clerk the dignity of a backwards glance.

"Wow," Conner breathed.

"Yeah," Trent agreed.

"Seriously. Wrestling alligators and selling cocaine. It can't just be him. It has to be something in the faculty lounge's water cooler or something."

"Let's hope so," Trent said, shaking his head. Figuring the clerk wouldn't be available to ring up a sale anytime soon, he and Conner tossed their prospective purchases on a shelf and wandered away, wondering just what their mature, respectable science teacher would get himself into next.

End Notes: I'm fairly certain this will be the last update until we get back from Power Morphicon. Here's hoping we'll see some of you there!