Chapter Twenty Two - Knock Knock (& First-World Problems)

This chapter is dedicated to Nezumi . Yandere for being super-duper supportive. :D

I ignore the knocking on the door. If I'm not answering, they'll eventually realize they are of no importance, and they'll leave. It's only just a matter of time. I mean, seriously though, what do you think is more important to me; some person I probably don't give two shits about or this forum battle about subs v.s dubs? Being fluent in every language ever, I could care less if the anime I'm watching is in English or Japanese, but reading people's reasoning is fucking hilarious. 'Subs are more authentic!' 'Dubs don't include reading!' Priceless. This stuff is fucking priceless.

The knocking continues, and my curiosity is starting to get the best of me. I get up, slowly approaching the door. I open it, only to hear an annoying monotonous voice greet me in the most posh way possible.

"Salutations, Urushihara."

I close the door, only to have it stopped by her bony hand.

"Closing the door in someone's face is impolite."

"Annoying the shit out of someone who is trying to enjoy themselves is just as impolite."

'It appears someone is having a bad day."

I sigh. "Just make this conversation quick."

"I don't mean to pry, but a... 'little birdie' told me you and King Satan are.. together..., is the word correct?"

I give a curt nod. "Yeah, uh, by 'little birdie', you mean the paper-thin walls, right?"

"Yes."

I gives another nod, less abrupt this time. "Well, the 'birdie' was right. Are we done here?"

"Yes.."

I close the door and go back to my spot in front of the computer. I don't think there's anything I love more than staring at this screen for long periods of time.

Other than that man I'm desperately in love with, of course.

Damn it, we're out of chips. Why is it that every time I finish a bag of chips, there isn't a second one for me to eat? What kind of awful world is this?

'The one you helped create, Lucifer' yeah yeah yeah whatever. I get I've turned this world upside down, and have the potential to turn it inside out as well, but this is fucking outrageous.

My - what's he called again? boyfriend? - works at probably the most popular chain fast-food place. They give you money there. Money buys things. Chips are things. We can have more than one bag of those delicious salted potato thins.
So why the hell don't we?

I'm making myself even more hungry. Damn these human bodies and their necessities. Food and water and sleep aren't important.
Okay, well, sleep is pretty important I guess. Everything else? Not so much.

I can name like a million things that are more important to someone than food and water:
Internet
Air conditioning
Hygiene - But I guess water kind of has to do with that...
Video Games
Maou
Common sense
Wisdom
Laughter is cool sometimes I guess
Money
and like a bunch of other stuff that I don't actually have the time to think about.

Really, people are just needy. No wonder I like seeing humans suffer; they're so damn annoying. But I guess that's because of my handy-work. Fifty points to Lucifer for making things he hates.

Oh well. At least we have Poc- damn it.

A/N: This is a short chapter but ehhh. Who cares about length?
So I was rereading this story after rereading reviews, and I honestly cringed a lot. It's cute and humorous, I'll give myself that, but there were SO MANY TYPOS UGHH
And I didn't address this last time I updated, but...
THIS STORY HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHOLE YEAR NOW WOOHOOO!
If I don't update again this month, happy holidays everyone. :) And if I do, I'll just say it again even though I'll feel kind of stupid. :)
Reviews are appreciated.
Until next time~