A/N: Hey loves, here is the next installment for you guys!
Though things move really slow with this story, things get a push in the right direction with this chapter. Also, for the most part, this is solely a story about Byakuya and Ichigo getting past the war and finding out parts of themselves in each other, but there will be other small plot points that will pop up. Some of which I do start to set up in this chapter, but don't worry, they are all only things that add to the character development in different ways. Though this is an emotional story, it's rather simple and sweet at the end of the day
I wrote for Urahara's character some in this chapter, which I don't do often. Tell me what you think.
If you're not keeping up with the manga(which only has one more chapter left - holy crap) I want to explain something about the Wandenreich(the quincy's world/hideout) It actually exist within the Seireitei, but within the shadows. So the quincies live in the same universe as the reapers, but in a different plane. It comes up briefly in this chapter, and I didn't want that to confuse anyone.
Why I love Byakuya and Ichigo number 45(I have no reason for writing this other that I can): Kubo uses moon symbolism with both their characters frequently.
Song: The Fear, by Ben Howard.
Good vibes ~ Ashes.
The Ice that Blinded the Water
xXx
Oh, my, my, cold-hearted child, tell me how you feel,
just a grain in the morning air, dark shadow on the hill.
Oh, my, my, cold-hearted child, tell me where it all falls.
All this apathy you feel will make a fool of us all.
Oh, I've been worryin', that my time is a little unclear.
I've been worryin', that I'm losing the ones I hold dear.
I've been worryin', that we all live our lives in the confines of fear.
Oh, I will become what I deserve"
xXx
Ambling without aim through the halls of the sumptuous Kuchiki manner, Ichigo was contemplating a justifiable cause to see Byakuya. How tempestuous it was of him to seek a reason, for he'd always been the type, that if he wanted to see someone, he'd just do it. Especially with the Kuchiki nobleman, seeing as grating Byakuya's nerves with his unsolicited presence was rather amusing to Ichigo. In fact, he was almost certain that the noble enjoyed his random popping in, finding it charming despite his words.
After the incident yesterday, however, Ichigo was concerned about the possible friction between the two, and he had little idea about how to initiate a conversation. More than likely, they could not simply engage in their usual light hearted chats without addressing what had transpired between the two, a conversation Ichigo knew Byakuya would be less than favorable too, considering the man was as unyielding and as anchored as a sierra.
Knowing this, Ichigo understood exactly which position he held in this dance of theirs. The two existed in a constant push and pull, where Ichigo pushed himself in, the nobleman pulling back a little less with each tenacious stand off between the pair.
Ichigo was the force, an unrelenting geyser of raw voltage that refused to cease until the foundation of everything was uprooted and altered forever. While Byakuya was the patience, the shadow, the unarticulated, cultivated reservoir of understanding and empathy that never ran dry. Never able to move from his spot, the patience extended his fortified yet restrained shadow to loom over Ichigo in an act of encouragement. He was the silent support, the comfort you never saw, but could feel flickering in the air. He was a guardian angel, merely a whiff of sakura's, the unsettling of dirt particles, or the stirring of your heart was the only sign of his presence. He was the haunted feeling of being watched and turning around to see no one there. He was the hero they never wrote about. He was the home you always had even if you couldn't return.
Byakuya was the lull and Ichigo was the storm. Despite not being able to put this knowledge into words or coherent thoughts, it was something integral in their actions towards each other, in themselves, and Ichigo couldn't help but take his place as he always had. He'd bring down his wrathful tempest until Byakuya had no choice to let him in. Byakuya was the fluid movement of water resigned to the capture of solid ice, stuck in a sempiternal winter. The only freedom would be the affectionate warmth of destruction striking open this ice prison.
Fed up with his overthinking, Ichigo decided to let the words find him in the moment and made his way to Byakuya's quarters with no reason other than wanting to be in the company of the other. A part of Ichigo wished he could say that he was compelled because he hated seeing anyone he cared for being held hostage by their own pain, but the truth was much more complex than that. As much as he desired to help the man, he equally craved the strange comfort he felt in their friendship. Never had he wanted the company of someone as strongly as he wanted to help someone. Often Ichigo sought the quietness of his own solitude and only allowed friendships to breach it occasionally. Truthfully, the connections, they all meant more than he'd validate with words. Rukia, Chad, Uryu, Orihime, his other friends at school, these were bonds that kept him leveled headed and brassed backed when the world felt as if it was spinning out of control, but his often aloof temperament meant these relationships were never looked for and often thrust upon him, companionships he accepted but just happened to stumble into, as if his friends often gravitated towards him. This was the first time in a long time he gravitated towards someone else, that someone else's warmth drew him with a vigor he could not ignore.
On the way to Byakuya, Ichigo ran into a frantic Rukia.
"Rukia," he greeted.
Shifting from side to side, the girl balanced a hefty load of paperwork. "Oh what's up, Ichigo?" she asked, shifting her eyes towards the direction of the exit every few seconds.
"Uh, just about to go see Byakuya," he said, following the direction of the girls wonderings eyes. "You in a hurry?"
"With my Taichou in the- wait." Her stern glare fixed on Ichigo. "Why are you going to see Nii-sama?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
A foot tapped in annoyance as the girl sighed. "You shouldn't bother Nii-sama," Rukia chided.
Ichigo's body opened up as if pulling away from the conversation. "Why do you assume I'm bothering him?" he scowled.
"I know you, Ichigo." Faintly, her eyes rolled. "Besides, he's never been partial to company. You should respect that."
"I know he pretends like he isn't," Ichigo contradicted. Near by, he picked up the sound of gossiping attendants as they walked by, only to stop and distance themselves as they saw Ichigo and Rukia. "Don't you ever, you know, wonder why he likes to be alone so much? No one get's like that for no reason."
It was in this way that the two were similar, and Ichigo believed he was finally starting to understand. Both, to varying degrees, hid behind hard faces and often apathetic temperaments, yet also cared deeply despite the pretensese they were equipped with. Because of that, their similarities, Ichigo saw more in the reclusive man than most dared to inspect. He saw parts of himself.
"I think I know Nii-sama better than you, and trust me," she tensed, "I know why more than anyone, but being alone is the way he chooses to deal with things. Besides, he get's angry when he's disturbed."
"So that's it," Ichigo speculated, "you're scared of him?"
He noticed the methodical, almost robotic movements of the servants. In the streets, people's eyes and voices seemed to hush around Byakuya's orbit. Even the clock's on the wall seemed to get quieter as the man passed. Some could call this respect, but it resonated with fear. People feared Byakuya, and Ichigo wondered if it was because Byakuya was truly so frightening, or was it because the nobleman held himself within his icy barriers of drastic, imperious speech and distant, impenetrable glares, that others were afraid to get close, lest they be frozen solid by such a disposition.
"What are you implying, Ichigo?" she gritted, clutching her paperwork with more restlessness. "I am not fearful of him, I just respect his boundaries."
"I don't know," he poised aloofly, crossing his arms loosely against his chest as he looked towards the direction of Byakuya's quarters. "Just that, if you're so busy respecting the guy, you never really get to know him. Maybe he presents himself that way, but that doesn't mean that's what he really wants or all of who he is."
Ichigo had friends who broke through the walls he held, and that's where they differed. Byakuya did not. Everyone was too busy respecting his ice fortress to see the truly miserable man inside. Rukia, Renji even, while they did care, their reverence for the walls disabled them from seeing, that the man behind them needed someone to break down these barriers. When he built up walls to protect himself and no one tried, nor cared, to enter, too fearful of the arduous track, it only solidified their purpose.
Rukia sighed in annoyance and sent the man a sharp glare.
Ichigo, recognizing the signs of his volatile and somewhat abusive companion, held up his hands placatingly. "I didn't say it's a bad thing, so calm down! I'm just saying, I'm not you or anybody else, so my relationship with him doesn't have to be like anybody else's."
Maybe the nobleman didn't even realize it consciously, but Byakuya was waiting within those walls, waiting for someone to see through them, to show him that they were worth lowering. After so long, he became complacent that this would never happen. Ichigo couldn't explain the lonely feeling that gave him.
Rukia walked passed the man shaking her head. "I don't have time to talk about this now, Ichigo. Just don't disrespect Nii-sama, you're a guest in his house. Or you'll have to answer to me.
Ichigo scoffed and muttered as he walked away. "Like you need your brother as a reason to beat on me."
It was only as Ichigo was about to turn a corner, that he heard the overwrought pleading of an unfamiliar voice and the pattering steps of waraji heading towards Byakuya's study, and he halted, implicating a little bit of stealthiness. He let his gaze follow the two men from behind his concealment. One was the almost always breezy Shunsui, flowing down the hall with his staple accessory, a flamboyant haori, rippling with every step. Beside him was a middled age man, august and dignified in his majestic Kuchiki crest embroidered garment clinging pristinely to his fit form. His opulent tresses were peppered with grey and the slight crevices that drooped his heavy evergreen eyes gave him the appearance of a ripe individual who exuded experience. Ichigo concluded that he must have been one of the elders he had heard of but had never seen. They had became almost like some urban legend in his eyes, a ghost story of powerful men who roamed the estate but were never actually visible, perhaps because they only dwelled in the walls.
Despite his decorum and polite manner of speech, there was a certain franticness behind his words. "Please, Kyoraku Sōtaichō, I must ask you to reconsider!"
Sighing, the look on Shunsui's face as he stopped and turned towards the man was one equally filled with empathy and frustration. "I don't see that I have much choice in the matter. If there was any other way, I-"
"But isn't there?" The elder snapped before reigning back in some composure. "Please understand, we're hard pressed as it is to keep Byakuya-san here with us. He is insistent about going into isolation to less burden us." Clenching his hands together, the elder was twisting at his own fingers in trepidation as he pleaded his case. "If you take away his position, surely nothing will stop him."
Under his breath, Ichigo muttered, "Isolation? What are you doing, Byakuya?"
"Maybe that's what's best for Byakuya-san right now," the commander poised.
Hardening his eyes and puffing his chest, the elder corrected, "I am an elder of this household, so such familiar terms are fine with me, but you will call him Kuchiki Taichou-san. He deserves this respect."
A warm almost wistful smile pulled at the drained features of the commander. "Excuses me. I was not trying to be disrespectful. I've known the man since he was a boy and was close with his father. If anything, he is like a nephew to me. So my lack of formality was more out of nostalgia."
With his temper hampered, the elder said, "Then all the more reason you should not do this to him! He is perfectly capable of continuing with most of his duties, he just- just needs a bit of time and training. He needs to get use to living with these new circumstances. If we find him the proper trainer, he can regain his fighting prowess even without his sight, and they're other accommodations that w-"
"Exactly," the commander interrupted, "he needs training and adjustment. This isn't forever, but only until he can come back in the full swing of things. Who ever we appoint will step down when Kuchiki-san feels he is able to take back on the full responsibilities of his captaincy. This way, he can give his full focus to recovery", he explained.
With all the foreboding seriousness the elder could impede on the other man, he warned, "If you remove him from his title, I have serious doubts that Byakuya-san will ever return. He is in quite the disillusioned state right now." More grimly, an almost sickly look befell the man. "Losing his vision, he feels useless and ashamed as it is, sure he will only burden those around him, and certain that he will be losing his position and respect, the only things he has. If you know him well, you must know the sacrifices he has made and the people he has lost on his way to the top." Earnest and filled with worrisome, the elder questioned, "He is strong, but everyone has their breaking point. Do you really want to be the one to send him over his?"
The elder had an instinctual feeling churning at his entrails, setting his skin ablaze, prepping his whole being for calamity. Byakuya had the soul of a samurai, and it was in a samurai's code of honor to sacrifice themselves for the sake of their bushido pride rather than shaming themselves or the clan, often a means to escape being killed by an enemy's hand. As frightening as it was to admit, the elder would not put it past the noble to take his own life because some twisted sense of virtue, feeling as if he was taking the honorable path by preventing others humiliation and burden. When looking at the other, he hoped the sentiments shined through his dreary graveyard eyes.
The two stood amongst the muteness, and a heaviness filled the atmosphere. Reading between the words said and not, the commander felt the whole weight of life and dead suspended between them. Finally breaking the grim silence, he expressed, "It's not as if I want to do this, Head Elder Kuchiki Daichi, but I-"
"Kyoraku," Ichigo interjected, stepping out into view.
Smiling impishly, the commander pinched the rim of his hat and tipped it towards the man. "I was wondering when you'd come out of hiding."
Simmering, Ichigo clutched his fist to hinder any compulsive acts of violence that tried to get out despite his better judgment. "Save it," he growled. "What happened to no wolves? No throwing?"
Ruffled by the sudden intrusion, the elder sharpened his eyes and asked in an authoritative manner, "Who are you, boy? Grown men are talking here."
Not even sparing the man a look, he kept his animus glare on the commander. "An advocate for Byakuya, that's all that matters."
The elder didn't seem to know what to say to this, only it didn't matter, when Kyoraku gave him a reassuring pat on the back. "This cheeky tyke is Kurosaki Ichigo," grinning, he added, "and don't take it personal, he's that way with everybody."
Slowly rolling his eyes up and down the shinigami, the elder assessed, "I see. Well as a key player in the recent war and a comrade of Byakuya-san, you're man enough to have your opinion heard here, I suppose."
"Thank's for the permission," he snorted sardonically, taking controlled steps towards the commander. "What the hell? You can't be serious about this! Just like that, you're going to abandon Byakuya?"
Pinching the bridge of his nose, the scruffy man just let out an amused chuckle, one that sent Ichigo's blood boiling at how crass it appeared. "Man, this is my reckoning for giving Yama-jii such a hard time. It's coming right back around to bite me in the ass." Sighing, his eyes held hints of regret. "I have to think about the the entirety of the Gotei now. I don't find any pleasure in this. I know you want to help Byakuya-san, but things aren't that easy."
Though his plight was something Ichigo could sympathize with, it did nothing to deter him. There had to be a way, he knew it.
"Who gives a shit about it being easy?! Byakuya's one of us, a comrade, family, you can't push him out just because his recovery isn't going to be convenient! You won't even try?! Besides, how's he supposed to adjust to being a taichou blind when he gets no practice with it? He doesn't need time off, he needs some goddamn support!"
"Kurosaki-san," he placated, "right now, we need someone who is ready from the get go. As it is, we are depleted of about seventy five percent of our manpower. If we weren't so low on men, it be different. We could just have his fukutaichou assist him until he was comfortable handling all of his duties, but we're already picking his stand in from the very few seated officers left in Rokuban tai(sixth division). So unless you have a way around this, I don't see many other choices to make."
There wasn't even an breath or a moment of thought given before Ichigo knew exactly what he was going to do. "If all Byakuya needs is a fukutaichou to keep his position, than I'll do it!"
xXx
Sitting in his study, Byakuya felt utterly exhausted and decided to rest his eyes. He'd been a victim to disturbing nightmares, unable to run from the terrors of his life even in his sleep. The more his mind replayed that explosion and the confession of Renji's, the more certain he became in his theory that Renji took the brunt of the blast for his sake.
Why did everything Byakuya touch wither and die? Why did the ones who loved him all turn to ash at his feet? The nobleman couldn't help but blame himself if only for being alive, feeling as if he had to be the living incarnation of death itself. The man felt like a black hole, suctioning all the light and life that gravitated towards his ruthless time enduring pull. That must be why he was the only one who survived that blast, because death couldn't die.
And now he could feel the presence of the head elder and the captain commander moving towards his quarters, and he was sure he knew exactly what their purpose was.
This was it, the moment he knew would come eventually. If anything, he was glad that there was no prolonged tension. In just a few moments, his very last iota of significance would be plucked from him, leaving him as the empty husk he'd been dwindling into.
Byakuya was just a bike with a broken cog, banished to a lifetime of collecting dust by an owner to attached to throw away the faulty machine, convinced that he could one day be fixed. But Byakuya could not be fixed, because there was nothing there to fix anymore. He was to far gone.
He accepted his faith, and with a head held high, he would take his removal with grace. In two days time, there would be a mass memorial held, but after that, there was little for the elders to contest.
Finally, he could vanish. Maybe if he could keep removing all these parts of himself, the memories would follow.
After sitting listlessly for a moment, what sounded like an argument taking place on the other side of his door reached Byakuya's ears. Since he'd lost his vision, he noticed a remarkable increase in his hearing prowess. Now he could hear things at ranges of which he most certainly shouldn't, as if one sense was trying to pick up the slack of another.
He could clearly make out the points of each side, cringing at the two men talking about him as if he was simply a child they had to figure out what to do with. It wasn't that he didn't understand the elder, but Byakuya wished he'd just stop. Did he think that perhaps this was what Byakuya wanted? Who was he fighting for exactly? Didn't he see Byakuya wasn't worth the exertion?
Though it was Ichigo's involvement that twisted him in all the wrong ways, filling him with equal parts melancholy and anger. This whole situation was getting out of hand. Didn't they see, it was all just a waste of time? Couldn't they just grant him some peace?
He resigned to their bickering, deciding he'd allow them to duct it out and await the verdict, seeing as everyone had taken it upon themselves to make decisions for him. It was something his pride would not usually allot, but he had little of that these days also, and as long as he pretended he heard nothing, he didn't have to pretend like he had the energy to care. This would all be over soon anyway. The commander would make the right decision, he was sure.
It was Ichigo's unabashed declaration that pushed him past the point of patience. Hearing that, he could not inert himself any longer. He could no longer ignore the pride that comprised him. Finding his bearings, he decided to put an end to this.
xXx
Blinking at the brazen man, the commander was sure he'd went silent for much too long. Why these word were such a shocker, he was not sure, for Ichigo was always doing surprising things, always brashly so.
"What," Ichigo remarked at the dumbfounded expression, "am I not qualified?"
Regaining a grasp on himself, the commander's trademark grin resurfaced. "Overqualified, actually. Are you sure you want to do this, Kurosaki-san?"
Whatever consequences, if there be any, Ichigo didn't care. An overwhelming instinct to be there for Byakuya umbrellaed all else. Despite his disposition, an utter dearth of logic did not comprise the young man. This would not be easy, and his actions would have ramifications. This he understood. Hell, he hadn't ruled out the possibility that Byakuya would try to murder him when he found out, and though these were all possibilities, they mattered little. None of these potentialities would avert him when he decided, stubbornly so, what needed to happen. He'd help Byakuya, consequences be damned.
Ichigo gave an airy scoff. "Do you really have to ask me that?"
"Touché," the commander rebutted, fully recognizing just who he was talking to. Ichigo didn't know the meaning of giving up, even when death itself was staring him down. Byakuya, only slightly more terrifying than death, was not any different. "But, ya know, Kuchiki-san isn't going to be happy about this."
"You are right about that," a steely voice spoke up from behind the group, grasping all threes attention. With Fujita at his side, the nobleman glared daggers that did not met anyone in particular.
"Byakuya-san," the elder implored, '"I think you should consider this offer."
"I will do no such thing," Byakuya deterred. "Kurosaki Ichigo is going home, where he belongs."
"Kurosaki-san," the commander jumped in, "you do realize that, if you stay here, this is a permanent situation." Sharpening his eyes to convey the magnitude of the choice, he informed, "A body can not live off of a soul mod forever. Eventually, your human body will die."
Looking off to the side pensively, in a single breath, Ichigo affirmed, "That doesn't change my decision."
"You fool, you can not be serious. Think about your actions for on-"
"I have thought about it." Ichigo sneered, and his voice was dense with rage. "I've been thinking this is where I should be for a while now, actually. There's a lot I can do here. I make sense here. I don't have to tell lies or keep to myself because people will think I'm whacked if they find out the truth. I've always wanted to protect people, and I can't see a better way to do it than being a full fledge shinigami."
"And what about your friends and family? Do you not care how this will affect them?" Byakuya huffed. Aimlessly his eyes took on that of a corpse canvassed battlefield, the ashen gray soaking up that dangerous red.
"You're one to talk about friends and family," Ichigo muttered under his breath.
"Excuse me?" Byakuya questioned, suppressing the tremors that threatened his composure.
Ignoring the question, he rebutted, "They were given access to come here and visit as much as they wanted. It's no different than if I went away to college. Actually, It's much easier to visit me here than it would be if I went away somewhere else, seeing as all it takes is summoning a gate."
"If you want to throw away your life, be my guest, but you will not do it in my division," the raven declared, putting his foot down.
The condescending inflection of Ichigo's next words made Byakuya's spine tense and his throat tighten with a violent need. "Who said you had a choice, Byakuya?"
Cutting in, the commander said, "We do need tachiou more than anything, Kurosaki-san."
A light bulb went off in Ichigo's head at the claim. Suddenly, he made a proposition. "I'll tell you what, Kyoraku, order Byakuya to stay and take me on as his fukutaichou, and I'll be your damn tachiou, but only after he's too a point where he can complete all of his duties on his own." Smugly, Ichigo added, "Byakuya wouldn't dare disobey a direct order from his soutaichou."
Everyone felt the barely contained rage of the two boiling over. They could practically taste the electricity tingling at their lips. "I will not have you treating me like a child whose incapable of making decisions for myself," Byakuya asserted and closed his eyes to placate himself, "especially in my own house."
At that Ichigo snapped while simultaneously flooding the room with his overwhelming pressure. "If you're going to act like a child, than you deserve to be treated like one," he yelled unabashedly. "Running away from your problems the moment things aren't easy, Tch." He scoffed before he scolded, "If we left it up to you, you'd throw your whole life away, everything! What am I suppose to do?" he asked, taking a step closer to the shellshocked noble, "let you throw everything away? Just give up? Fuck that! I didn't when Rukia tried to throw away her life and let herself be executed, and this is no different."
Huffing and panting from the intensity of his diatribe, a sadness riveted through him and caused his voice to quiver like a condemned building. "If you're not in the right mind to be thinking more clearly, than I'll do whatever I have to do to stop you from doing something stupid."
When it came to saving a life, he'd stop at nothing. Despite how obstinate Ichigo was by nature, he was not what you'd consider a controlling or domineering man. He'd never try to force someone to do things his way or assert authority over anyone, but Byakuya was standing on the proverbial edge and ready to fecklessly languish away every facet of himself. Someone needed to talk him down.
Unfortunately, Ichigo's way of talking down could be about as sensitive as a meteor to the gut at times, especially when his emotions were in a muddied and misunderstood place. Above all anger exuded and spouted without control, but this was a very surface level reaction. Truthfully, his feelings were like piercing thickets that obscured his mind, and he felt lost within them like one would feel in an interweaving forest, tar black and shrouded with scathing thorns at every turn. Destructive indignation was the only way to bust through.
At the root of it all he was confused and sad, sad that Byakuya had gotten to a point he felt torn asunder and frightened by the nightmares of what probably caused this state. He felt sad that Byakuya attempted to hide the heftiness of his heart and that he hadn't noticed it himself. Mostly he was confused about how the nobleman got to this place and desired to understand why. It just couldn't be helped, he wanted to understand the depths of Byakuya Kuchiki.
There were only three times since his mother's death that Ichigo's sorrow overcame his confidence and sometimes petulant anger in the midst of battle or the fake smiles he'd give to comfort his worried friends in his everyday life: when he thought his powers were lost for good to the fullbringers, when his bankai was broken against the quincy king, and lastly, when he stood in front of a dying Byakuya, the rain and blood mixing around him, dripping down the nobleman like a morbid watercolor painting.
Ichigo couldn't save Byakuya that day, and he never felt so useless in his short seventeen years. He had been too late. Against the veil of storm clouds, without even realizing it, tears glided down his flinty, flushed features while he tried to contain an explosion of animus. Byakuya's song of mourning was for Ichigo's ears alone, a melody of pattering drizzle that hit the foundation, the distant echoes of battle cries and clashing metal, and the thrum of Ichigo's heart beat pumping red-hot blood at twice the rate. It was resonating. It never left him.
He'd be damned if he failed to save a friend again. There were no tears this time, because this time, he would live, not by Ichigo slaying an enemy or using his sword, but by him being there for the noble. It was in that moment Ichigo realized that saving someone didn't always imply protecting them from dark forces, sometimes it meant to stand right by their side and fight with them.
Byakuya was strong and could take care of himself. He was a survivor, and he was definitely not someone who needed to be protected, but someone who needed help protecting. He needed a friend, someone to share in the burdens he carried. He needed an equal. He needed a partner.
"Though this young man is quite audacious, and frankly, just blatantly rude," the elder commented, being cut off by Ichigo.
"Yeah?" he scoffed in dissent, "and what's being polite and passive doing for you? By the looks of it, Byakuya was ready to flee in the middle of the night."
Throwing up a dismissive hand and looking towards a miffed Byakuya, the elder said, "As I was saying, I happen to agree with this upstart." Lowering his voice to a careful questioning tone, the man asked, "You've seemed..mentally unwell..drained..Have you been sleeping alright, Byakuya-san?"
A deep plum as royal as Byakuya floated in the grey abyss of his oculars, searing the receiver.
"My sleeping habits are fine, thank you," Byakuya remarked derisively.
"This is not true," blurted Fujita, earning her bewildered looks from all present company. Byakuya, stunned, gaped subtly towards the woman who had been standing at his side for this entire encounter, for his entire life. "Lord Kuchiki has been unable to get restful sleep since the war, always waking up in cold sweats from these persistent terrors." Taking a shaky breath, she supplicated, "Please forgive me. I hope by speaking of this I have not lost your trust and you can find the reason behind my actions. You have always been more than my lord to me, as I hope I've became more than an attendant to you."
Taking a staggering breath, the nobleman said nothing in return, but held his head tall. Although nothing could hide the truth that flashed through his eyes. Like miniature galaxies, the socket perched world's flickered, jumping from color to color with the velocity of a shooting star breaching the earth's atmosphere, almost imperceivable to the human eye. As if trekking through nebulas and constellations at the speed of light, the vibrant colors all swirled together into a whirlwind of staunch emotions assaulting the nobleman all at once. At the sight, Ichigo understood that a whole universe was housed inside of Byakuya, and he thought he knew the man by a few conversations. How wrong he had been.
After the light display, all color was zapped from the nobles eyes, drying out into a translucent ashen that absorbed all grey the way they once did when Byakuya had found out his sight wouldn't be simply returned in the healing center. There was a drought in those landscapes, a dreadful hopelessness that made Ichigo cringe and his body swell with hot damp empathy towards the man. Byakuya had been drained off all emotion, as they filtered in and out to quickly to be understood.
Under the defeat of Byakuya's abject silence, Ichigo decided that such a complacent Byakuya was not something he liked. It wasn't right on him and was bitter to the senses. "So?" Ichigo asked the commander, donning an imperative look.
The commander wafted his glare in between Ichigo and a hushed yet proudly situated nobleman. Head full of doubt, the commander conceded, "Alright, well, its at times like this, I wish I had a staff like Yama-jii, so I could be more authoritative, but I'll decree it. Don't make me regret this, Kurosaki-san."
With those last words of warning, the commander tipped his hat once more before departing. Taking his lead, the head elder did so as well, followed by Fujita - though she stayed close by. All together they flocked away like birds sensing an impending catastrophe, knowing, without words, what was about to occur between the two men.
Byakuya opened his eyes towards where he believed Ichigo to be standing, which was actually slightly to the left of the man. "Kurosa-" He began, finding himself cut off as Ichigo grabbed the fabric of his yutaka and jutted him backwards into the wall.
Palms flat, Ichigo locked the noble in place with one hand on each side of his head. "Isolation? Seriously, Byakuya, what were you thinking?"
With blood stung eyes of disapproval, Byakuya highly considered kido blasting the bold man from his vicinity, never one to allow such handling of his person or disrespect, but yielded out of fear of damaging his property or escalating the situation to unmanageable heights. A noble with decorum refused to rise to such bellicose and temperamental behavior. Sternly, the noble warned, "You are crossing boundaries, Kurosaki Ichigo. Know your place, I'm a high noble and a taichou, and I will be treated as such."
"Title or not, you're just Byakuya to me. I've always called you out on your crap, and that's not changing," Ichigo declared. "Besides, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be those things anymore!" An inflection of dolor, thick and with more mass, was apparent in Ichigo's next words. "What about Rukia, your squad, your house," clawing at the wall, he added, "me?"
Byakuya wore a proud face, but by the gentle grasp he had on the fabric of his garment, trepidation was evident in his mannerisms. These were questions he didn't want to answer. "What about you?" he asked as if the young man didn't matter in the slightest.
"Were you even going to tell me?" Ichigo rasped in question.
At the betrayed hurt in Ichigo's voice, Byakuya was stung with guilt, though he tried not to show it. Closing his eyes and taking a breath he was sure he'd been holding, Byakuya stated caustically, "Why wouldn't I? As you can see, you took that so well. I knew you well enough to know you wouldn't understand nor respect my choice."
"Respect what?" Ichigo asked with an air of disgust, "that you didn't think at all about how this would affect the people who care about you?"
Forgoing his level headedness, it was his turn to grab a fistful of the Ichigo's fabric and snarl at the man. Pulling the young man a mere inch from his face, he spat acrimoniously, "How dare you? Have you ever considered, that I want what's best for you, for the ones I care for? I will be nothing but a burden to those around me, a humiliation to my house, a subpar taichou to my squad. I have thought of nothing else but those around me!"
Ichigo blinked a few times in the face of the outburst - something only he seemed to yield from the noble. Here he was, always pushing Byakuya out of his zone of comfort and familiarity.
Firmly, his hand grasped that of the captain. Through all his anger, he had not seen past his own hurt feelings. Reading between the lines was never one of Ichigo's best qualities. He did not understand Byakuya's motives until he grabbed him abruptly and stated them point blank, nothing but hot air and the bare truth between them.
"I should've realized, that's such a you thing to do." He scowled. "Stupidly sacrifice your own happiness because you think it's for some greater good, even when it's not necessary." He shook his head in irritation and groped Byakuya's now loosening hand tighter. "You're not a burden, Byakuya. It's never a burden to be there for someone you care for. Everyone else would agree with me. Stop being so prideful, and let people help you get back to your best."
"That is impossible," he stated sedately. "My best is not within the realm of these circumstances."
"Bull shit!" Ichigo cursed, a smirk creeping on his face. "Or is it that you're scared to find out?"
"Nonsense, I have never backed away from a challenge based on fear," he affronted, "I'm merely being realistic." 'More so, I have no will to face this challenge. I do not wish to be a burden on those who only keep me around because their guilt would eat them alive if they did not. I care for them, but what reason do they have to care for a callous man as myself. I offer nothing.'
"Than prove it!"
Byakuya's eyes closed and a few rickety breaths followed. "Why?" he asked.
At the question, Ichigo's head tilted. "What?
"Why? Why do you care so what becomes of I? Why do you mind my business?" Lively budding stems sprouted in those eyes, blooming in curiosity. "I have done nothing for you, offered nothing to you. Earlier, you compared this to your saving Rukia, but she offered you the power to save your family, to save the world. If anything, I have hampered you."
"Not true," Ichigo exclaimed without falter. "And you know it's not. You offered Rukia and Renji help getting into Hueco Mundo, you cut down the book of end, even thinking he was your friend. You watched after me when I was powerless and helped me regain my powers." Taking a step forward, he invaded the nobleman's space once more with that staunch pressure that could not be ignored. "Ever since I stopped Rukia's execution, you've backed me up in every way you could, because you trust me and believe in me, care about me."
Taking an almost unconscious step backwards, Byakuya faltered as his back became acquainted with the wall. "I- I was simply following orders."
"No," Ichigo denounced, burrowing into those eyes with a persistence. So much so, Byakuya could feel that Ichigo was looking him directly in the eyes, claiming his souls full attention, if only briefly. "If that were true, you wouldn't have been so kind and open with me after the war," he pressed. "That's care, Byakuya."
Once again, his palm supported himself against the wall beside Byakuya's head before he dipped his own. "Don't you remember?" he whispered, "I lost my powers." Clenching a fist as the residual pain of the memory pulsated through him, Ichigo reminisced, "I would've done anything to get my powers back. I did do anything, even trusted people I shouldn't have."
Pausing thoughtfully, he looked up once more, "Don't you understand, I get what you're going through more than anyone else could, and I want to help you in the way you helped me!"
"I offer you nothing," the noble reasoned. "Without the ability to use my powers, I'm useless to you and everyone else. You have no reason to care for a man as myself."
Bewildered, Ichigo studied the man for a moment, as if gauging the words. "You really think that, don't you? You think that about yourself." Clenching his jaw and leaning in deeper, Ichigo said, "You and the rest of the Gotei helped me, and it wasn't just because you guy's wanted my powers, but because you all cared about me and didn't want to abandon me after the Winter War. So why do you think it's any different for you?"
Byakuya paused, feeling clammy and drained from his lack of sleep. He surprised even himself with the nakedness of his answer. "Because, unlike you, my abilities and position are the only things that make me worth anything to anyone. This is just fact."
A wave of anger the size of a skyscraper tumbled over the younger man, filling his lungs, knocking him off his feet, seizing his every thought. "You listen to me, Byakuya," he demanded, "I don't know who put that dumb shit in your head or what exactly your deal is, but no matter how long it takes, I'll show you that's not true. Maybe you don't see me as your friend, and that's fine, but you're mine. Like it or not, you're stuck with me, so get use to it!"
After a moment, Byakuya's face hardened and he pushed passed the man, signaling a nearby Fujita to make her way to his side. "Fine," he conceded, back taunted towards Ichigo, "but if you're to be my fukutaichou, there will be some rules you are to abide."
He turned back towards Ichigo swiftly, bestowing him with a ridged look. "Firstly, you will address me appropriately, as Kuchiki Taichou."
Blatantly, Ichigo said, "I don't know if I can do that." When Byakuya loosened an irritable sigh, Ichigo amended, "Alright, alright, I'll address you formally when we're around other people. Deal?"
"I suppose," he sighed, "such a small gesture is more than I could hope for from one as yourself, Kurosaki Ichigo." Going on, he added, "Secondly, you must respect my commands. I am your commanding officer, and though I take no issue in you voicing your opinions, my final word is the law of this squad." Byakuya mocked, "I know abiding authority is not a strong suit of yours, nor is team work."
Ichigo tugged at his lip and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, do what you say, got it. Anything else?" he snipped.
One again Byakuya turned his back to the man and folded his hands behind his back elegantly. "Yes," he said, "one last thing." He turned his head over his shoulder slightly. "I need you to promise to always be honest with me."
To say the last rule took Ichigo by surprise would be an understatement. For a moment he stood there with a dumb look before the noble continued. "I can not see, therefore I'll depend on your eyes in certain situations. I'm not daft, but there are times when people will take advantage of this disability, and I may not always be able to see the truth for myself. If you're at my side, you must be prepared to always be honest with me."
"Yeah, that's something you can always count on my for, Byakuya."
There was a short pause before Byakuya said, "Very well," and began to walk forward with the aid of Fujita.
"Uh, Byakuya." Ichigo stumbled over his words as he held out a hand to stop the noble.
"Yes, Kurosaki Ichigo?"
"Um, well." He grabbed the nape of his neck nervously. "For the sake of honesty, you should probably know.." The young man paused and swallowed down a breath that had caught in his throat. "The color in your eyes, Isane-san told us she thinks it's caused by different emotions, but she wasn't sure if you should know or not. She left it up to Rukia and me."
There was another short pause, this time more awkward in its existence. "I've already deducted this," he proclaimed, much to Ichigo's shock. "As I said, I am not daft, and there were few reasons I could find for this color change. Your honesty has only confirmed what I already believed to be true and that the individuals around me have arrogantly decided what I can handle and what I can not." When Ichigo found no words, Byakuya added, "There is more respect given in one honest action than any amount of formalities can convey. In this regard, I am grateful for your respect."
Ichigo smiled mildly as Byakuya walked away and declared, "I'll expect you at dawn, Kurosaki Ichigo Fukutaichou, and I do not abide tardiness."
To no one but himself, Ichigo let out a dry chuckle and shook his head in amusement. "This may be the craziest thing I've done."
xXx
"What do you mean it's already done?!" Ichigo watched the hectic, droopy eyed scientist stride back and forth across the twelfth division. His hair stood haphazardly as if filled with large amounts of static electricity, and his skin was so blanched, it was starting to resemble that of the twelfth captain.
"Don't be so surprised, Kurosaki-san! While Kurotsuchi Taichou has been working on other developments, I took it upon myself to work solely on your seal! "
Ichigo watched Urahara tinker with some levers on a machine with a hint of amusement. "Uh huh, more like Kurotsuchi is driving you insane, so you've been letting him do his own thing as much as possible."
"I'm offended." Urahara plucked a file from a walking by division member and flipped through it. "I figured you'd want to get home to those adorable little sisters," he singsonged, "of yours as soon as possible.
"Sure," Ichigo snorted.
Under the shadowy brim of his hat, Urahara smiled slyly. "You do know me well." From a separate part of the lab, the shattering of glass could be heard followed by the menacing yells of Kurotsuchi berating a division member. "Don't you miss the good ol' days, like when I was helping you infiltrate the Soul Society and we had to fight against Aizen?" He gave a wistful sigh, "Those were simpler times."
"The mad scientist must be really driving you insane if you're missing Aizen."
"It's more than that," Urahara informed, pointing up to a screen with data and charts that might as well have been Latin to Ichigo. "The amount of reiatsu put out by Yhwach has sent the balance out of whack, and we're working overtime to maintain it." Seeing the panic in Ichigo's eyes, Urahara reassured, "Don't worry, the World of The Living is the least of our problems. More so, it's Hueco Mundo that received the brunt of it. The atmosphere has become almost unbearable to survive in, but, as you know, when hollows die is mass amounts, the world's balance becomes severely compromised."
Ichigo scowled up towards the screen and stepped closer as the man continued. "Not to mention the lack of shinigami and the issue of what's going to happen with the Wandenreich and our relationship with the remaining quincies. Since our worlds exist within the same universe, we can not simply ignore them. The whole situation is getting really tense. Most of the remaining shinigami's are ready to gather pitchforks and go on a rampage, while us more seasoned members of the Gotei know better."
"That's ridiculous," Ichigo poised, "Haven't they learned anything from the war? Slaughtering is how we all got into this mess anyway. With Bach gone, things can change with the quincies. They can become allies."
"I agree, but the angry horde is all but demanding blood. Nel and Grimmjow, Yoruichi-san and I are working to get them asylum for the help during the war, since they can't return to Hueco Mundo as of now, but right now, we don't really know what to do with them. The shinigamis don't really want to see arrancars walking around either. So their with Yoruichi-san in our secret training ground."
"Keeping Grimmjow contained in the training ground? Tch," Ichigo smirked, "I bet he's liking that."
"Ha," Urahara let out a mocking laugh and hid behind his fan. "Don't worry, Yoruichi-san has her ways of keeping him entertained, as I'm sure you can imagine."
At the thought, the young man shuttered. "Yeah, I don't want too." Raking a hand through his hair thoughtfully, Ichigo observed, "We defeated Bach, but it's like we're still fighting him."
"Yeah, the battle was won, but the war is far from over."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Ichigo asked.
From his spot facing the projection screens, Urahara turned his head over his shoulder to address Ichigo. "You could go give your good friend Ishida-san a visit. Maybe coax him out of hiding. We'll need his help to figure out all of these diplomacy issues, since he's the only person left to lead the quincies. You're great at giving people a kick in the ass."
"I plan on it," Ichigo declared resolutely, "I've just been..caught up in some other stuff lately."
"Oh," Urahara put on a knowing smirk, "I've heard that you've been getting nice and cozy with a certain Kuchiki lord, cozy enough to take on a position as his second in command."
With arms crossed, Ichigo's back straightened from the wall he'd been leaning against. "How the hell do you know that? I just- you know what, don't answer that. I'm sure I can figure it out myself."
The impish man snickered. "Our new soutaichou is one of the biggest gossip vultures in the Gotei, so the news of your new best friend is probably common knowledge by now." When Ichigo just scowled in return, the scientist said, "So I'm assuming you won't be needing the seal your dear old friend slaved over to make, but I gotta ask, if only as a long time friend of your dads, are you sure you're making the right decision?"
He turned and gave the younger man a more potent look. "I'm sure you know, this is permanent. This is quite a big sacrifice you're making."
"It's not like i'm not use to sacrifice," Ichigo pointed out with a shrug of the shoulders
"True, but those times were different," Urahara pointed out in return, "Every time you sacrificed something, it was more so your life or your powers, but it was never the people you care for. Those are the biggest sacrifices and the hardest ones to live with."
An unsettled look overcame Ichigo as he thought about the older man's words for a moment. "You're right, but it's not like I'm sacrificing something I love for something I don't want at all. I want to stay here and help the Gotei, but I can't have it both ways. So, in the end, I went with my gut feeling, the one I knew was more right for me."
It felt as if the older man was looking for something deeper when he gave Ichigo a speculative look, as if he was analyzing him the way he'd analyze one of his experiments. "Besides," he added, "that's what Byakuya would do. He's taught me a lot about sacrifice in the past."
"Oh?" Urahara prompted as he donned a mildly surprised look.
"Yeah, I mean, that's all the guy does. Sometimes it's not for the better, but it's still an admirable trait. Even when Rukia was about to get executed, he didn't want her to die, but he was willing to sacrifice anything, even his own happiness, for what he considered to be the greater good. Just like he was willing to sacrifice his family's wrath and his own happiness again when he brought Rukia into his family, or when he was willing to have the whole Gotei brand him as a traitor just to kill Koga himself. Tch-" he muttered, "It's like the guys incapable of doing anything for himself."
"Hm," Urahara hummed knowingly, "who knew you gave so much thought to our Kuchiki Taichou."
At that Ichigo reddened slightly before putting on a defensive scowl. "Well I- It's obvious, ain't it? To anyone who's paying any attention, anyway. I'm not completely dense, you know?"
More so, it was how could Ichigo not notice with everything that had came into the light lately? Seeing Byakuya try to foolishly sacrifice everything that defined him all for the sake of the ones he cared for, it was like seeing the once obscure man limpidly for the first time. At least parts of him. Sacrifice was the essence of Byakuya Kuchiki, and even though it was sometimes foolish, Ichigo saw great virtue in that.
Once again Urahara drew his fan in an attempt to stifle a laugh. "I'm just happy to see you boys playing nicely. So, did you come here just to tell me you won't be needing the seal, or was there something else?"
"Yeah, actually, I need some help doing some research on something, some World of the Living things, but I don't know how to go about that."
"Ah!" Urahara exclaimed, pointing up an index finger, "You came to the right person. The soul society holds a database of just about every occurrence within the Living World, so you can search through it just like you could with the internet in The World of the Living."
"Huh," Ichigo said as he scratched the back of his head, "that was easier than I thought it be."
"Any other services I can help you with? Illicit or the likewise?" the man smirked.
"I know you're always coming up with new science experiments and tools. I mean, you're the one who created the sword that got my powers back. So with Byakuya's condition, I was wondering if-"
"If I had any devices aimed towards helping blind people just lying around? Nope, can't say I do, but I wouldn't mind dabbling a bit, seeing if I could come up with something that can better help him adjust. You'll owe me one, though."
"Tch," Ichigo grinned, "I'm doing you a favor anyway by giving you another reason to keep your distance from Kurotsuchi."
"A little bit of sake wouldn't hurt either," Urahara smirked, "but, I don't mind helping out Kuchiki Taichou." He put his thumb and pointer finger together as if he was measuring a thimble. "I knew him when he was a wee little tyke. I knew his dad too, a great man Sojun-san was."
"Yeah, I heard."
"Way friendlier than our Kuchiki Tachiou and a lot less serious, but they're both the same at the heart of it," he spoke nostalgically, walking to the adjacent side of the room to prepare some tea. "Any way, If you're interested, I do know a guy who lives in the the Rukongai who'd be perfect at training Kuchiki Taichou to fight without his vision. He's one of the best swordsman and hand to hand fighters I know, and he's also completely blind. Sound like what you're looking for?"
The news made Ichigo's face light up brilliantly. "That's awesome, geta-bōshi. You always seem to know the perfect person for any situation."
The scruffy faced man poured some steaming water into a chipped tea cup with a crooked grin. "When you've been around as long as I have, you make a few connections here or there." Hearing an irritably approaching Mayuri, Urahara suggested, "I'd skedaddle for right now if I were you. I wouldn't put it past Kurotsuchi Taichou to try and turn you into his next science experiment. Come back near sun down, and I'll help you with your research."
With that warning in mind, Ichigo said, "Thanks geta-bōshi, you don't have to tell me twice," before flash stepping away.
xXx
Later that evening, after he had completed his research and went by what was left of the sixth division to introduce himself, Ichigo walked down a lengthy hall in search of his guest room. Since he was still getting use to the grounds, Ichigo found himself lost more often than not when he went to retire for the evening. As he walked past a gallery of glass windows that overlooked the verdant expanse of garden, he saw a smiling Fujita standing amongst the adumbrate casted corridor.
He walked up to the women and saw she was a shadowy vigil, to what, Ichigo was unsure of. "Hey, Fujita-san," he greeted, following the woman's eyes.
"Hello, Kurosaki-san," she greeted in return, and for whatever reason, she whispered, as if they might wake the paintings on the walls. Bringing up one wrinkled finger to the pan of glass, she pointed across the grounds. "Look."
Ichigo scrunched his eyes and allowed them to adapt in the darkness. Past the small oasis, grove of now blooming sakura, and flourishing Chinese bluebells, Ichigo saw a moon bathed Byakuya rested on his deck. His movements were barely perceivable, undefinable. "What's he doing?" Ichigo wondered.
Turning her head just slightly, dimmed blue eyes crinkled blithely in his direction. "Lord Kuchiki is practicing his calligraphy." She smiled bigger at the man. "You are a good influence on him, my boy."
He pointed to himself as his face widening. "Me? Why do you think that?"
"He has not thought of this once since he returned home," she poised and turned back to the window to admire the man in secret. "I believe he lost his sense of hope, and he had became too tired of this cruel life to fight against it." The aged attendant let loose a full body sigh of contentment. "I am not sure as of why, but you seem to revive him." At the man's humble look, she affirmed, "I know my boy."
Modestly, Ichigo shook his head as he stood beside the woman. He found himself equally as enthralled in the sight, for it made the world just seem a bit more right. "Byakuya is strong, even if that's true, it's nothing that didn't already exist in him. This is all him."
"Perhaps," she smiled wittingly, "that is why you affect him, because you believe in him so fervently."
Almost unconsciously, Ichigo lifted a hand to the glass, as if trying to get closer to the cause of this tingling sensation of relief and happiness. "It's easy to believe in Byakuya," he said, now whispering also, like these sentiments were secrets. "There's a lot I don't know about him, but I would never count that guy out."
With a swift and motherly slap to his hand, Fujita chided, "Don't put your fingers on the window. A servant cleans these, you know?"
"Ow," Ichigo groaned and scowled, rubbing his hand. "Way to ruin a moment, Fujita-san."
She chuckled lightly and cupped the man's cheek with her palm. "You should probably be getting rest, Kurosaki-san. You will need it to deal with Lord Kuchiki's expectations."
Ichigo rubbed his dozy eyes. "You're such a mother, Fujita-san..but you're probably right. Byakuya won't give me any slack."
"Goodnight then, Kurosaki-san," she removed her hand and bowed shallowly.
Before she could retreat, Ichigo called out with a hint of embarrassment. "Uh, Fujita-san," he rubbed his nape, "I'm kind've lost, mind showing me to my room?"
Fujita shook her head in an endearing manner. "You say I'm such a mother, but perhaps you need mothering." Nudging her head in a come hither fashion, she ordered, "Follow me."
"I need a map more than anything," he scoffed. One last time, Ichigo looked out the window with a smile before letting loose a yawn. "Alright, coming."
xXx
LustfulAvarices: Thank you for such a sweet comment! The support is paramount, and I'm glad it can catch your attention. Things are pretty gloomy for them at the moment, but never fear, this will have a happy ending(Though we're pretty far from it.) There will definitely be more zonpakuto love in this story, I have to much fun with them.
Dust-of-Moon: Oh yeah, that's a pretty big mistake. Thank you for pointing that out! I'm glad you like the spirits, since their parts of Ichigo and Byakuya's soul, they are always good to offer insight. Senbonzakura is just to funny too.
Tifanny91: As always, thank you for your encouragement. I'm happy the sakura part stuck out to you. I always wondered why Kubo choose this as a manifestation of Byakuya's powers, and when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Sakura's are japans national flower. They represent the hopefulness of new beginnings(because they bloom at the beginning of their fiscal calendar year) and the humbleness to accept death(because they die so quickly.) I think this was definitely intentional on Kubo's part, seeings as Byakuya's character is all about sacrifice, bringing death in hope for greater life. I don't know if you watch Naruto, but he's like the Itachi Uchiha of this series, willing to sacrifice his own happiness for the greater good. And though that can sometimes live in a moral gray area and be over done, it's really a beautiful quality at the heart of it. That's why I love him. Yay, I'm glad someone is checking out the lyrics. lol. Thank you, that's really sweet of you to say. I'm glad you like the development so far. I've always seen Byakuya's character in a really specific way. He's a samurai, all about his position and a total martyr. It's also pretty obvious that Byakuya isolates himself and has an aversion to feelings because of his past. So I think, if he were to lose his abilities, he'd feel without reason. He also knows himself and limits well, so knowing how callous he can be, the way he has been raised, and how he has an aversion to feelings, it makes sense that he would think of himself with no other qualities other than his powers and position. I hope you like this interpretation of his character. Don't worry, throughout this story, there will be things like brail and other adaptions for Byakuya to get his life back in order. Everything is just slow going. Your comment about the way I deal with emotions really touched my heart. I've been writing ByaIchi stories for a while, none that have ever been all to popular. (This is probably the most popular one) My friend once told me she thinks thats because I write about complex emotions that most readers are not really looking for in simple fan fiction, but I don't know any other way to write. So It's heartwarming to know people can enjoy what I write, despite the emotional roller coster I send people on.
siwon611: My pleasure dear. I think their a severely underrated pairing. I know they'll never happen, but I still think there characters would work together beautifully. It's kind've funny. I have other pairings that I like, but I can't really say that I ship them, not like these guys. Their the only pairing that inspires me enough to write for them in this way. I almost wish I could ship pairings like ByaRen or GrimIchi, because at least then there'd be more fiction for me to indulge in. lol. Thank you for your support!
Secret Companion: It always makes me smile to see new users comment, so thank you, love. I know it's sad, but that's my style of writing. If you can get past the sad parts, I try to take you on a pretty interesting and beautiful trip.
Guest: Hey love, thank you for taking the time to share your opinion, and I hope you keep reading. I attempted to show the ugly truths of the war in a way I think other fictions miss at times, so I'm happy you can appreciate this. Hope would definitely be theme of this story, and though it takes a while to get there, these beauty will consistently find hope along the way.