Hey all my "Home Is" readers! :D
Gosh, I haven't written for this story in so long, it feels so good to get back to my babies, Aira and Kili xD My excuses are just the usual: been busy with summer plans and vacations or I've been writing for my other fanfics and some took a little longer than others depending on time or lack of motivation. But I'm just glad I was able to get this chapter written pretty quickly! :)
Just wait...this chapter will not be what you expect... :P strap in for the ride, my lovelies!
Also, there is a song later in this story; another Enya song and it's one of my favorites! :) Here's the link to listen to it ( watch?v=XaQnYSbgnM0)
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Despite the fact that the company now would have aid from the Master and all seemed well, sleep did not come very easily to Airaním that night. Once the morning came and she gave up trying to go back to sleep, she left the room she had been allowed to sleep in and walked outside, sitting herself down at the top of the steps to the house. There were so many thoughts and emotions running through her head that kept her awake most of the night.
One of these emotions was anxiousness. Knowing that she was only hours away from seeing Erebor up close and she would get to go inside it and see the halls that both her birth father and her current father walked years before. After hearing many stories in her early youth about the mountain, she just felt her excitement just couldn't be too contained.
But there were other troubling things on her mind, as well….
"Well, you're up rather early."
Aira's thoughts were interrupted by a voice and she looked up and saw Bilbo standing next to her, looking at her curiously. He ruffled his hair as he then sat down beside her.
"As are you," she replied. "What are you doing up at this hour?"
Bilbo bobbed his head from side to side as he answered, "I have found that sleep hasn't come so easily to me since the start of this journey. I think I'm going to close my eyes and suddenly, something bad is going to happen."
"I don't blame you for that. It's been quite the journey thus far," replied Aira.
"What about you?" he asked.
She let out a tiny huff. "My mind was far too frantic to allow sleep."
"Too frantic?"
"I have so many thoughts and emotions running rampant through my head...they just kept me up most of the night."
"What's on your mind? If you don't mind me asking."
Aira shrugged. "A lot of things. I'm anxious to get to the mountain, for one. After hearing so many stories about it as a child, I want nothing more than to see inside it with my own eyes. And yet..." She didn't finish her sentence because she wasn't sure how to word what else she was thinking.
However, Bilbo had an idea of what else was on her mind. "You fear the things we will encounter inside," he finished for her.
Aira was a little startled at how he understood what was on her mind. After giving him a surprised look, she nodded. "But it is not just the dragon I fear...," she added. "Do you remember the madness that we heard Elrond speak of in Rivendell?"
"The one he believes Thorin will fall to?" he replied.
She nodded again and then said with a shaky voice, "I fear what may happen if that does come to pass. I have heard the stories of Thror when he went mad...and Father said it frightened him to see it. I don't want to see that happen to him..."
"Is there anything we can do?"
"Gandalf believes that I can help him, since I have always had a good influence on him. He said so to Elrond, but that was after you had left me and Father alone."
Bilbo, however, sensed a hint of uncertainty in her voice as she said all that to him. "And do you believe that, too?" he asked her.
She hung her head and let out a loud breath. "I do not know. I will do what I can, but...I haven't any idea what I could do to help him if it comes to that. I already have much to worry about right now as it is and that only adds to my worries."
He inched a little closer to her. "What else is troubling you, Aira?"
She felt her chin start to tremble just thinking about it and tears stung her eyes. She clenched her jaw and took a deep breath, hoping to control her emotions. In a way, she was glad that Bilbo was there and was concerned. She had to talk to someone about this because keeping it to herself was eating her alive inside.
"I'm worried about Kili," she admitted, lifting her head to look at Bilbo. However, once she said it, the tears began to flow. "I know his wound still pains him but he refuses to let anyone tend to it. I fear that his leg will become infected and it will only make him worse. It's already affecting him. He acted short; almost harsh with me last night, which he has never done. He is not well but he won't let me or anyone else help him. I am afraid...I am afraid that by the time he realizes it...it will be too late...!" By this time, she just couldn't hold back anymore. She buried her face in her hands and began to cry.
Seeing this, Bilbo put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. "No, no, no, no," he said quietly while calmly shushing her. "Do not cry, Airaním. Don't think like that."
Aira, as she continued to weep, turned her head into his shoulder and clutched onto the collar of his jacket. "I cannot help it, Bilbo!" she sobbed. "I'm so scared! I am scared that I may lose Kili because of his stubbornness...I'm scared I will lose my father to whatever madness lies in wait for him inside the mountain...I'm scared for myself; that I will not be good enough to help them."
"Aira, you are one of the strongest women I have ever known," Bilbo stated. "If there's one thing I know for certain about you, it is that you love your family and will do whatever it takes to protect them." He gently nudged her up and lifted her chin so she was looking at him. "There is no need to fear because I know you will not fail your fiancée or your father and you will not lose them."
He then laid one hand tenderly on her cheek and brushed away her tears. "And you won't be alone in any of this, either," he told her softly. "You have the company, who I know would fight tooth and nail to help...and you have me at your side, as well. If there is anything I can do to help, I will do what I can. You have my word." He paused and gave her a comforting smile. "I won't let you go through this alone."
Aira released a choked sob and took another deep breath to help calm herself down. Bilbo's words really had brought a feeling of comfort to her heart. Knowing that he was a true friend relieved her. She had always known she could trust him, but it was times like this when he proved his loyalty not only to her, but to the rest of the company, as well, that reminded her even more that he was perhaps the truest friend anyone could ever have. There were times she believed that his heart was more pure and golden than hers and that he deserved the name "Goldenheart" more than she did.
It relieved her that, even after what they had all been through thus far, he had not lost his caring Hobbit nature. The journey hadn't changed him and she prayed it would remain that way. Aira didn't know what she would do if Bilbo lost that part of himself in the midst of the perils of the quest. That was who he was: an innocent, loving, kindhearted being who cared deeply for those he knew. If that part of him was lost on the journey, she knew she would be exceedingly sad and would try to help him find that part of him again.
She knew that, no matter what, she would always be grateful that Gandalf asked him to be a part of her father's company. He had proved his worth to them time and time again and he had come to mean a lot to her. She truly had found a dear friend in him.
Bilbo then remembered something that he thought would help make her feel better. "Do you know what today is?" he asked.
Not sure what he was talking about, Aira shook her head.
"Today is the day that the hidden door to the Lonely Mountain is supposed to be revealed; the day written about on the map…which means today is Durin's Day," he explained.
She still wasn't quite catching on to what he was trying to say, so she continued to just stare at him, confused.
He simply grinned and said, "That means today is your birthday."
Then she finally understood. Bilbo was right; it was Durin's Day! It was indeed her birthday! She couldn't believe that she had almost overlooked that one important fact.
"Oh gods!" she quietly exclaimed. "I had almost forgotten!"
"Well, lucky for you, I did not," he replied with a wink. "Happy Birthday, Airaním Goldenheart. Today, I know, will be a special day for you."
She let out a small chuckle and, after brushing away some stray tears, Aira mustered up a smile and said to him, "I really needed that comfort. Thank you, Bilbo. That means so much to me."
"You're one of the closest friends I've made on this journey, Aira," he said, smoothing her hair back away from her eyes. "I would do anything for you."
Feeling a bit more at ease than she had just moments before, Aira gently pulled Bilbo into a tight, grateful embrace. In the back of her mind, there was still slight traces of doubt of what was to come, but at least, for the moment, she felt she didn't need to worry as much. Bilbo helped relieve her anxiety and stress and for that, she was thankful.
However, from an upper window of the Master's house, there was someone watching them…someone that was rather unpleased with what he was seeing and with the last thing he had heard the Hobbit say:
"I would do anything for you."
First, he heard Bilbo saying that to Airaním while having his arm around her, running his hands over her hair and her cheek…and now the two of them were sharing a rather close embrace? He was not happy at all with what he saw. It appeared that there was something going on between Aira and the Halfling...something that was perhaps a bit more than just friendship. He shook his head while looking mainly at Aira. How dare she behave this way! Was she being unfaithful to her One? Anger boiled up deep within him at the thought. He had to try his hardest to keep from breaking something.
How could she do it? How could she?
Sickened by what he had seen, he turned away from the window and walked away, wincing as he did so.
A few hours later, the company was ready to depart Laketown and make for the mountain. They were given the supplies, food and provisions they needed, weapons and another change of clothes; some that were a little more suitable for traveling along with bits of armor, long red cloaks and helmets. The whole town had gathered at the harbor for a special send-off for the company.
Everyone except for Bard and his family. He had been in no mood to be there. Maori had already come by earlier that morning to say her goodbyes to the company. It had actually almost been easier for her to say goodbye this time around now that she had a better idea of when she would see all of them again unlike when they parted ways in Rivendell. It still had been difficult for her to say goodbye to Fili, but he reassured her that they would soon be together again.
Once everything was ready for departure, the company left the Master's household and made their way to the docks.
"You do know we're one short," Bilbo pointed out. "Where's Bofur?"
"If he's not here, we leave him behind," Thorin answered.
"We'll have to…if we are to find the door before nightfall. We can risk no more delays," stated Balin as they continued to make their way through the crowd.
"Let us just hope, wherever he is, that he'll be fast and catch up to us," added Aira.
They came to the large rowboat that was tied up, waiting for them at the dock and started to climb in, putting all their supplies inside. Aira came to the edge of the dock and Ori and Bilbo, who were already in the boat, took her hands and helped her in.
As the rest of the Dwarves started to all assemble into the boat, Thorin stayed on the dock to ensure everyone got in first. But as Kili made his way to the boat, he placed a hand on his nephew's chest and stopped him, saying, "Not you."
Kili stopped and looked at his uncle, puzzled.
"We must travel at speed, you will slow us down," Thorin told him while loading weapons into the boat.
Kili, however, just scoffed quietly. There was no way Thorin would leave him behind. Surely, he was joking. "What are you talking about? I'm coming with you," he said.
"No, no," was Thorin's reply.
Aira overheard what was being said and moved closer to the edge of the boat so she could better hear the rest of the conversation. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Thorin was really going to leave Kili behind? He was going to be crushed.
Kili searched his uncle's face for signs that he was only joking, but once he realized that his uncle was really serious, his face fell. This couldn't be happening.
"I'm going to be there when that door is opened," he told Thorin, but Thorin kept shaking his head. Kili then began to protest, "When we first look upon the halls of our fathers', Thorin—"
"Kili…," Thorin said, cutting him off, and he cupped the back of his nephew's head. "Stay here…rest. Join us when you're healed."
The hurt on Kili's face at what Thorin was asking of him could not be masked. It was apparent that he felt betrayed at being left behind while the rest of them continued on to Erebor. Aira didn't want to think about leaving him behind…but she also knew that Thorin's intentions were for his own good.
With nothing else to say, both Thorin and Kili turned away from each other. Kili went over to a crate lying on the docks and sat himself down, feeling dejected.
It was then Oin climbed out of the boat, informing Thorin, "I'll stay with the lad. My duty lies with the wounded."
Then Fili, who was standing not too far from Aira, looked up at Thorin and protested on Kili's behalf, "Uncle…we grew up on tales of the mountain; tales you told us. You cannot take that away from him!"
"Fili…," Thorin began.
"I will carry him if I must!" Fili begged.
"One day, you will be King and you will understand," Thorin then declared resolutely. "I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one Dwarf…not even my own kin."
Aira, who had been listening the whole time, now hung her head in disbelief. She knew what Thorin was trying to do, but the way he was trying to get through to Fili about his decision were perhaps not the best choice of words. He made it sound like he didn't care about Kili or his health; that the quest was more important.
But Fili would have none of it. There had rarely ever been a time in their lives when he and his brother had been apart and he certainly wasn't going to let that happen now. He wasn't going to go without Kili…and if Thorin wasn't going to change his mind and let Kili come, then Fili wouldn't go with them either. He wouldn't abandon his little brother in his time of need.
With his mind made up, Fili clambered out of the boat and onto the dock. However, Thorin took hold of his arm and pulled him back.
"Fili, don't be a fool. You belong with the company," he firmly told him.
"I belong with my brother," Fili said back as he then pulled out of his uncle's grasp and walked over to Kili and Oin.
"Fili…!" Aira quietly exclaimed as she too stepped out of the boat behind Thorin. It was bad enough that Kili had to stay behind, but now Fili was, too. She could understand why, but at the same time, she didn't want him to. She could feel her heart slowly beginning to sink.
"Father…," she said as came up beside Thorin. "I understand what you are trying to do for Kili…but you should know better than to think you could keep Fili from him. They are brothers who cannot be separated and you know that, yet you call Fili a fool for not wanting to leave him."
Thorin turned to her and said, "I may not wish it, but I will allow Fili to stay. You, however, are staying with us."
"What?" she asked. "Father, Kili is not well. I cannot leave him; he needs me!"
"I know and I did not wish for it to come to this...but I need you, too," he said back. His gaze turned pleading. "You remember what waits for me in the mountain...you know I will need your help."
"Father, please...don't make me do this. Don't make me choose."
"You knew I would need your help, Airaním. You swore you would."
"That was when I thought we all would be together and it would be easier! But now you're leaving four Dwarves behind, two of which are your nephews and one of your nephews, I am betrothed to and am worried sick about because he is unwell. I can't leave him, not in his time of need."
"I am worried for him, too. That is why I am leaving him behind, so he can heal, regain his strength and be able to make the rest of the journey."
"Father...!" Aira groaned in protest.
Thorin, however, would not be moved. "Kili has Oin and Fili to look after him. He will be all right. But there is no one else in this company that can help me the way you can. I will lose the fight that I am to face once we're in Erebor if I do not have you there with me. Please, Airaním..."
Aira found herself caught between a rock and a hard place. She didn't want to leave Kili, especially in the condition he was in...but she also knew Thorin needed her help, too. He had demons he was going to face in returning to the Lonely Mountain; demons that took his grandfather long before his passing and would undoubtedly try to take Thorin, too. The pressure she felt to make a decision felt heavier than anything she had felt in a long time. They both needed her and she needed them, but, to her dismay, she could no longer be with both of them like she had been throughout the journey. Now, she had to choose only one for the time being.
Who would she choose? Her father or her fiancée?
She looked back over her shoulder at Kili, who kept resisting help from Oin and was complaining to Fili. He looked paler than normal with dark, sunken eyes. The thought of leaving him was almost heartbreaking. He was unwell and she felt that she needed to stay by his side. But when she looked back to Thorin and seeing the hopeful look in his eyes; the more she thought about it, the more she couldn't shake the feeling that she was needed more with him and with the company.
This was not going to be easy and she hated being in that position. Also knowing the special purpose that she was given, told to her by Lady Galadriel, of protecting and saving the line of Durin was making things even harder. How could she protect them when they all were not together? Once again, the words of Galadriel echoed in her head:
"Your bond with the line of Durin shall be tested and the love between you and the youngest Prince will be tried..."
At that moment, she couldn't help but think that this was another one of those times that Galadriel spoke of. No matter what she chose to do, she just knew that she would be taking a risk with one of them. Either Thorin or Kili and Fili.
But...she knew in her heart what was the right thing to do and, with a heavy sigh, she then made her decision.
Aira gave Thorin a sad look and respectfully bowed her head to him before turning away and walking over to Kili.
"I just hope I am making the right choice," she thought to herself.
Kili lifted his head as he saw Aira approaching. He was going to say something to her, but then Oin started to touch his face, mumbling under his breath, and Kili gently shoved his hand away.
"Leave me be, Oin! I'm fine!" he cried.
"Kee, you are not looking fine," said Fili. "You need to let Oin help you."
"I don't need help," he said. Then he looked up at Aira and said in disbelief, "Can you believe what Thorin said? He wants me to stay here because he thinks I'll slow everyone down! How could he say something like that? I can manage myself. Now, he's depriving me of the chance to see the hidden door be opened."
"Kili, don't be absurd," Aira replied. "Seeing the door being opened is far less important than seeing what lies beyond it. That is something you both do not understand," she then said, glancing at both Kili and Fili. Then she looked back at Kili. "Father did not say you could never see Erebor at all. You will get your chance...but you will not have such a chance if you do not rest and let yourself heal so that you may soon join the rest of us."
Kili held up a hand and asked, "Wait...what do you mean 'join the rest of us'?"
Nervously, Aira hung her head, finding herself unable to actually look him in the eye. This was what she had been dreading. "I...well, I—I...I'm sorry, Kili, but...I—I am..." She just could not find the heart or the words to tell him.
"You are going with Thorin, aren't you?"
Unfortunately, he already had her figured out. Aira looked back up and could see the disappointment in Kili's eyes, which she knew was bound to happen. It put a knot in her stomach seeing such a sight. She hesitantly responded to him with a slight nod of the head and said, "It's too complicated to explain right now, but...I have to go with him. He needs my help."
However, she never could've anticipated what was to follow, regarding Kili's reaction to her choice.
Kili shook his head and scoffed in unbelief. "This is so typical of Thorin," he murmured.
"What are you talking about?" she asked.
He pointed a finger at her and suddenly exploded, "He has always favored you! He has always loved and favored you more than us! He does not hesitate to leave us behind, but he just cannot bear to leave you! We are his family by blood! You are not!"
"Kili!" his brother cried, astonished at his sudden behavior.
Aira just stood gawking at him with her mouth hanging open in shock. She was so stunned at his words that she was speechless. What was he doing?
Kili then smirked and scoffed again, seemingly amused by her reaction. "Besides," he continued, "I am sure this pleases you...because now that I am out of the way, you can have more precious time with Mister Baggins!"
That comment was what brought Aira out of her stupor. "What on earth are you talking about?" she demanded, now getting frustrated herself at him.
"Oh, do not act like you don't know!" he snapped back. "I saw you two together earlier this morning!"
Confounded, her head shot back.
"Lad, you had better calm down," Oin warned him.
"I will not calm down!" he shot back. He looked back at Aira and continued with a voice full of contempt, "I saw you both sharing a close embrace and he was running his hands through your hair, saying, 'I would do anything for you'...! And don't think I have forgotten when you kissed him back in Thranduil's dungeons!"
Aira groaned in irritation. She had hoped he had forgotten about that. "I had gotten over-excited about Bilbo finding the key to the hidden door when Thranduil had taken it from me," she explained. "I admit, I did not think before I acted back then...but, Kili, you have it all wrong!"
"Do I, Aira?" he asked rhetorically.
"Yes!" she responded. "There is nothing like that between me and Bilbo! He is a good friend and when you saw us before, he was comforting me because I was worried about you!"
Kili simply glared at her skeptically.
"I am worried sick about you, Kili! You refuse to get any remedies for your wound and I fear it will worsen and you will not see it until it's too late! You must understand, this is for your own good. Father only—"
"Stop saying that!" Kili exclaimed angrily. "Thorin is not your real father!"
"Brother, enough!" Fili almost shouted in an attempt to get him to stop talking.
Aira was once again left without words. Everything Kili had said to her had hurt her deeply, especially his last outburst. What was happening to him? This was not the Kili she knew and loved. He was almost behaving the way he had back in Mirkwood when he was suffering from memory loss. This time, he was more than aware of what he was saying and doing...which broke her heart even more. How could he say such things to her? She couldn't understand what was happening to him, but it hurt her nonetheless.
With tears in her eyes, she finally worked up the will to say back to him, "I am sorry you feel that way, Kili... Then I suppose that, if Thorin is not my father...then I have no place in this family. Or, at least, I have no place with you."
While both Oin and Fili appeared overly shocked by what Aira said, Kili simply averted his gaze, refusing to look at her or say anything more.
Seeing as how he had nothing else to say to her, Aira decided that she had nothing more to say to him either. Feeling her heart slowly breaking, she curtly turned away and stated, "Goodbye, Kili."
She strode back to the boat and Bilbo helped her back into it. He did not fail to notice the tears sliding down her cheeks and that she looked distressed. "Aira, what happened?" he asked, concerned.
Shaking her head, she answered, "It is nothing." Then she said loud enough for Thorin, who was at the front of the boat, to hear, "Let's go!" Without another word, she sat herself down on the boat, hugging her chest tightly to keep herself from crying anymore, seeing as how some of the other Dwarves were staring at her. She could hear the Master giving some sort of farewell speech nearby, but she didn't care. She tuned him along with the rest of the world out, finding herself lost in her sorrow over what had transpired with Kili.
Back on the dock, Fili was absolutely irate at his younger brother, having absolutely no idea where his sudden horrible behavior came from. He faced his brother and stated firmly, "If you were not unwell, brother, I would slam your rock-thick head into a wall!" When Kili looked up at him without saying anything, he kept going, "I understand your frustration with Thorin, but you had no right to speak to Aira the way you just did! She did nothing to deserve that! I do not know what's going on with you, but you know that everything you said to her is untrue! And how dare you accuse her of being unfaithful to you and having something with Bilbo? Kili, she loves you more than anything else in this world and the last thing she would ever do is be untrue to you!" He paused for a moment to take a breath and calm himself down. Then he said, "You really hurt her, brother. I am very disappointed in you…you should be ashamed of what you've done."
For a moment, Kili didn't want to listen to Fili lecturing him like he always did when he made some sort of mistake. He begrudgingly looked away. However, as his gaze wandered around the harbor, he caught sight of Aira sitting in the boat with her eyes looking down at the ground. They were wounded and sorrowful, a sight that he realized made his heart hurt like never before. Within seconds, everything he had said and done hit him hard and it dawned on him that he was the cause for the hurt look on Aira's face. A sick feeling built up inside him at this realization. What had happened to him? Why did he say all those horrible things to the woman he loved? He didn't realize just how deep his frustration with Thorin and the slight sense of betrayal had gone and his stubbornness had gotten the best of him. He let his anger take control and he ended up lashing out harshly at Aira without reason and he had said some very hurtful things to her.
He looked to his brother with eyes wide with fear and horror. "Fili…what have I done?" he gasped. Just as he said this, he noticed that they were starting to untie the boat and the company was getting ready to depart. He didn't wait for Fili to respond to him and instead, jumped up from where he sat and threw himself near the edge of the dock, crying out Aira's name in desperation.
When Aira flipped her head to look at him, Kili grabbed her hand that she had rested on the edge of the boat and held it hard in his grasp. "Aira…I am so sorry!" he exclaimed, looking her intently in the eyes. "I didn't…I meant none of the things I said. I beg you…please forgive me."
She tried hard to not start crying again, so she clenched her jaw briefly and then replied, "It's going to take more than just the words 'I'm sorry' to rectify your mistake this time, Kili."
He had to admit that he wasn't surprised by her words, but he couldn't deny that he hoped that she would perhaps find it in her to quickly forgive him. But he knew that's what he deserved. Even if she never forgave him, he knew he would deserve it. He hated himself for what he had just done. He had to find a way to make it up to her or, at least, to promise her that he would make things right.
A promise! That was it!
He could feel the boat was beginning to cast off, so he had to be quick. Swiftly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his mother's rune stone. Then he firmly pressed it into the palm of her hand and closed her fingers around it with his own, clasping it tightly. She appeared a little taken aback at his actions.
"Keep it…as a promise…," he said softly, gazing at her with a look of regret but also a more tender look, showing her that he was going to make things right.
Aira couldn't decide whether she wanted to stay angry at him or if she wanted to forgive him then and there. It was almost impossible sometimes for her to resist his dark brown eyes, especially when they were pleading with her the way they were at that moment. And he had just given her his mother's rune stone. That alone almost proved to her that he meant what she could see he was trying to say with his eyes: that he would earn her forgiveness and make things right. She found herself unable to say anything as the boat continued to float away, but she kept her grip on Kili's hand as long as she could as they began to drift further apart.
Then she remembered part of the dream that she had had while floating along the river in a barrel after their escape from Mirkwood. She had seen this before; she had seen her in a boat floating away from Kili while their hands were clasped together until they could no longer hold on. It astonished her to realize that that was coming true.
But then Kili's voice brought her back to reality as he spoke one single word:
"Amrâlimê."
Her gaze snapped back to Kili in surprise. "Amrâlimê" was the Khuzdul word for "my love" and was perhaps the most sacred way for him to declare his love for her. In that moment, she wanted to tell him that she loved him, too, but she just couldn't bring herself to speak. All she could do was keep her gaze on him as long as she could. Before long, their arms could no longer reach and their hands pulled apart. All they then could do was watch as they drifted away from each other, the gap between them along with their heartache growing greater and greater with every second.
"I am sorry, Aira," Kili whispered to himself.
"I am sorry, Kili," Aira also whispered out loud.
Then their sight of each other was lost as the boat floated out of the harbor.
Kili stayed kneeling at the edge of the dock, staring at the space where Aira had been, feeling his fair share of guilt and shame at what he had done. This time was worse than back in the dungeons of the Woodland Realm when his mind had been infected by toxins and made him forget his love for her. He had said some harsh words then...but this was worse and his guilt at the moment far exceeded that which he had felt back then.
Fili came and knelt beside him, laying a consoling hand on his shoulder.
"I do not think she forgives me, brother...," he said with despair, "...and I know I don't deserve it."
"Give it time," said Fili.
Just then, there was a shout and Bofur came bursting through the crowd and he looked dismayed, realizing he had missed the boat. Then he caught sight of the other Dwarves nearby and a look of relief crossed his face.
"Did you miss the boat as well?" he inquired.
But suddenly, a cloud of darkness began to shroud Kili's vision and he felt his consciousness slipping away.
"Aira...," he mumbled and then his body slumped forward.
"Kili? Kili!" Fili exclaimed in worry as he caught his younger brother and stopped his fall.
"Something is wrong. We need to get help," said Oin urgently.
They rushed to find the Master of Laketown and caught him as he was going up the steps to his house. They begged for help and medicine, but the Master was more concerned about supposedly catching Kili's sickness and refused to even go near them. His assistant, whom they heard the Master call "Alfrid", was then rude to them, saying that they had already given them enough and that they had no time to worry about sick Dwarves before telling them to clear off.
There was only one other place they could go where someone would help them.
With urgency, Bofur and Oin pounded on Bard's door until he opened the door. He was less than pleased to see them.
"No!" he immediately exclaimed. "I'm done with Dwarves. Go away!" He then tried to shut the door on them, but Bofur put his foot in the doorway.
"Wait! Please...," he begged, "no one will help us. Kili is sick." He looked back at Kili, who was growing paler by the minute. Then he turned to Bard again. "He's very sick."
"Bofur? Kili?" came Maori's voice from inside. Seconds later, she pushed past Bard and her eyes widened at seeing the four Dwarves in the entryway. She approached Kili and gently held his face in her hands, looking him over.
"Oh, dear Kili, what's happened to you?" she cried. Her attention turned to Fili, who was holding him up. "What are you still doing here? I thought you all had gone!"
"Something went wrong with Kili and we stayed behind to find help," he explained to her.
She whipped around to face Bard. "Let them inside, Bard," she ordered him.
"No," he answered. "They have caused me enough trouble already. I will have no more of it."
"You would neglect someone in need?" she questioned him. "This is my future brother-in-law who has come for help." Maori then took one step towards him and stood tall with her chin held high as she spoke with a boldness of voice, "I do not care if this is your house, I will not let you close the door on my friends, who are also like family to me, when they are in desperate need of aid. Now let them in!"
Bard was quite surprised by Maori's stern tone for she rarely ever spoke to him in such a way. He supposed he didn't blame her, since the Dwarf who was unwell was indeed the brother of her betrothed. She was worried for him...and deep down in his heart, he knew he couldn't turn them away, not when they needed help. His caring and giving nature overtook his selfish desires to shut them out.
"Very well. Bring him in and put him on the bed," he said, bringing them inside.
The Dwarves thanked him as Bofur and Oin brought Kili into the house and Maori gave Bard a grateful nod.
Fili leaned in close to Maori and told her quietly, "You should know that Aira and Kili did not part ways on good terms."
She was astonished to hear such news from him. "What happened?" she asked.
"Thorin told Kili he was to stay behind so he could heal and Kili was very put out. Aira then came to him to tell him she was going with the company and something inside of him just broke. He said some harsh words to her."
"What did he say?"
"I will explain later. Right now, Kili needs us."
Further out on the lake, the rest of the company continued to row their boat closer and closer to the mountain. Aira was still sitting in silence, staring down at Kili's rune stone in her hands. She ran her fingertips ran lightly over the runes carved into it as she thought of the last words Kili had said to her:
"Keep it...as a promise."
She wondered what he had meant. Did he mean that he promised to make right with her when they were reunited? Or did he mean that as that they would be together again? As she caressed the runes again, she remembered their interpretation: "return to me". Surely, that had to be his promise: that he would soon return to her. How she prayed that he would be well again soon and would be able to fulfill that promise. Even though they hadn't gone their separate ways on good terms, she still missed him and longed for him. No matter how many times she kept telling herself that keeping him in Laketown was the right thing to do, it still didn't feel right leaving him behind.
Bilbo, who was sitting next to her, had not missed the sad look in Aira's eyes. She hadn't told him what had happened, but he figured that whatever was said between her and Kili had not been pleasant at all.
"Are you going to be all right?" he asked her.
She nodded her head in response. "I will be eventually," she said.
"Kili will be all right, sweetheart," Thorin, who was standing at the end of the boat, then told her.
"He is of the line of Durin," said Balin. "He may be stubborn, but he has might and strength aplenty to see him through this. As do you, lass."
Aira mustered up a halfhearted smile at Balin's remark, grateful that he was trying to reassure her but she wasn't quite convinced that she would be strong enough to get through this.
"Why don't you sing something?" suggested Ori. "That may help you feel better."
For a moment, she considered not taking Ori's suggestion, but then she figured that he was right. Maybe singing something for the company would indeed help her. She took a minute to think of something she could sing about and eventually came up with a song in her mind. When she was ready, Aira opened her mouth and brought forth a very beautiful melody.
Pilgrim, how you journey
On the road you chose
To find out why the winds die
And where the stories go.
All days come from one day
That much you must know,
You cannot change what's over
But only where you go.
One way leads to diamonds,
One way leads to gold,
Another leads you only
To everything you're told.
In your heart you wonder
Which of these is true;
The road that leads to nowhere,
The road that leads to you.
Will you find the answer
In all you say and do?
Will you find the answer
In you?
Each heart is a pilgrim,
Each one wants to know
The reason why the winds die
And where the stories go.
Pilgrim, in your journey
You may travel far,
For, pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are...
Pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are...
Pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are...
As the song finished, the company's boat reached the shore on the other side of the lake and some of the Dwarves jumped out to help properly dock it. After hearing Aira's song, they all now seemed to be in better and higher spirits. They were ready to begin their trek up the hills to the mountain and begin their search for the hidden door.
Once their boat was all the way onshore and they removed their heavy cloaks and armor, the Dwarves began their march up the rocky hills and plains near the base of the Lonely Mountain. It seemed like it would take a long time to even get partway up there, but they continued to make good time and progress as they made their way.
After some time, Bilbo finally stopped and observed the scenery around them, which was a mostly barren plain covered in rocks and boulders with slight traces of grass growing in places.
"So quiet…," he stated.
"It wasn't always like this," said Balin, coming up behind him. Then he pointed off towards the horizon and explained, "Once, these slopes were lined with woodlands and the trees were filled with birdsong."
As Balin was talking, both Bilbo and Aira noticed a small twittering bird fly by and land on a stone. They thought it looked familiar to them but couldn't quite figure out how or why or where they had seen something like it before.
"Relax, Master Baggins," said Thorin as he approached. "We have food, we have tools and we're making good time."
Right after he said that, his attention was diverted to something different nearby and he broke into a jog over to another ledge. The rest of the company followed and stopped at the edge, where they could see what Thorin did. There were snow-covered slopes down below with puffy white clouds hovering just above the ground. On the highest slope were the ruins of a large, abandoned city. They all gazed down at the city in awe.
"What is this place?" asked Bilbo, coming between Balin and Thorin.
"It was once the city of Dale," Balin explained. "Now it is a ruin…the desolation of Smaug."
"The sun will soon reach midday," Thorin pointed out after looking up into the sky. "We must find the hidden door into the mountain before it sets. This way!" He turned on his heel and started to walk away.
But Bilbo made him stop in his tracks when he asked, "Wait, is this the overlook? Gandalf said to meet him here. On no account were we—"
"Do you see him?" Thorin asked, cutting him off. Bilbo was unsure how to answer, nor did Aira, who was right next to him, know, so Thorin told them, "We have no time to wait upon the wizard. We're on our own. Come!" With that, he resumed walking and went to lead the others.
Both Bilbo and Aira looked at each other with uncertainty. Something wasn't sitting right with them about continuing on without Gandalf.
"Why am I getting an uneasy feeling about this?" Bilbo then asked.
Aira admittedly was having the same uneasiness, but she didn't want to make Bilbo feel any more nervous than he already was. So, to try and reassure him, she told him, "Do not fret, Bilbo. I am sure that, wherever Gandalf is, he's all right and he'll join us again soon. We'll be all right on our own until then."
He worked up a small grin and replied, "I suppose you're right."
She laid a hand on his shoulder, gave it a tender squeeze and declared, "Come on…we've got a hidden door to find!"
.
So...did this chapter surprise you at all? ;P
Now the questions are: what does this mean for Aira and Kili? Will they be able to fully reconcile in the future or will his harsh words continue to stand between them? What will Aira do in regards to helping Thorin fight the madness? And what about her and Bilbo? There may be a change or two regarding the two of them, too... ;P
Please leave a review or PM me with any thoughts or concerns! I wanna hear from all my lovely readers! :)
Stay tuned, dears! :D