Chapter Eighty-two

Disappearing Act

"Ethan, I hate to interrupt a guy when he's in his element, but it's been over three hours since we left Conner alone on that bench."

Ethan was so startled he forgot to hit the tag team button and for the first time since he'd begun playing Tekken Tag the computer scored a K.O. against him. "Seriously? It feels like less than twenty minutes."

Trent held up his watch, which read seven-thirty. "Ethan, we've gone to six stores and you've beaten four games," Trent pointed out. They were in the arcade, which just so happened to be on the way back to Conner's bench. Honest.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"That usually takes longer than three hours. Maybe the time-space continuum has broken down."

"Yeah. It tends to do that when you're playing video games."

"Happens to you, too?"

"No, but when you're playing video games I swear you have your own time zone. You're probably the only guy I know who could drink fourteen smoothies without needing to go to the bathroom as long as you're playing a video game."

"And proud of it." Ethan sighed and stepped away from the game, picking up the bags containing Conner's hamster supplies and following Trent out of the arcade.

"Ethan?"

"Yeah?"

"That's Conner's bench over there, right?"

Ethan and Trent froze, staring at the teal-green wooden bench straight ahead. The bench furthest from the pet store. The bench that Conner was not sitting on.

"Where's Conner?" Ethan asked slowly.

"He's… he's…"

Trent and Ethan both began twisting back and forth, panicking as they desperately searched for any sign of Conner.

"Oh, no," Ethan whimpered. "He's gone. Trent, he's gone!"

"He can't be! Hecan't be!"

"He is! He is!"

"Dr. O is going tokill us!"

"Surely not. I mean, we've done a lot worse stuff before than set Conner free on an unsuspecting city."

"No we haven't, Ethan. We really haven't!"

"It's not ourfault! We handcuffed him to a bench! We did everything we could!"

"This is the first—and obviously last—time Dr. O has ever been completely responsible for Conner, and we lost him!"

"It was an accident!"

"We handcuffed him to a bench and ran off to play video games and go buy hamster wheels! How irresponsible could we be?"

"Oh, god, oh, god… I think I'm gonna faint…"

"Breathe. Breathe!"

"No, no, I want to faint. Dr. O will go easy on me if I'm unconscious, right?"

"You can't faint. If you faint I'll be too busy catching you and smacking you back into consciousness to faint myself!"

"TRENT!" Ethan seized Trent's shoulders and shook him. "What are we gonna do?"

"About what?"

Both boys jumped badly and turned to see Kira standing beside them, looking from one to the other curiously. "Nothing," they chorused in panic.

Kira quirked an eyebrow. "Oh-kay. Not asking."

"Thank god," Ethan muttered.

"What's going on?" Trent asked weakly, trying to muster a casual tone.

Kira shrugged. "Nothing. Jason called to say they ran and took all the stuff to the hotel and Jason's house, so there's room in the car for Billy's new wardrobe." Kira held up an armful of shopping bags. "The guy now has enough clothing to last him for a couple of decades. I haven't seen anyone shop like that since Kylie. Thankfully Jason said Adam finally managed to drag Rocky out of the tea shop and they're on their way back to Angel Grove. That got Kimberly to wrap it up and they sent me to find you guys. We're meeting up by the atrium; Trini wanted to take some pictures of the exploded fountain."

"Why?" Trent asked, frowning.

"Something about telling Kimberly's grandchildren," Kira replied. "Come on."

Ethan and Trent cautiously followed Kira back through the mall, expecting her to stop at any moment and demand to know where Conner was, but she didn't seem to notice. Crossing their fingers and practicing their apologetic expressions, they headed for the atrium. The fountain had gone from bad to worse; instead of water gushing steadily from the two broken Power Weapons, it was coming out in random spurts. First one weapon would spray, then another, then another, in no discernible pattern. The water had risen another foot and a half, and the bucket brigade's strength was seriously waning. Everyone looked distinctly bedraggled, and Billy's eye doctor was kneeling over someone who had apparently collapsed under the exertion. Tommy, Zack, Jason, Kimberly and Billy were watching forlornly, while Trini grimly snapped pictures.

"I'm thinking I should make up a scrapbook," Trini reflected. "I've got some nice shots of the damage done to Spencer's, and what with the pics from last night—"

"What pics from last night?" Kimberly asked.

"Oh, you know, just… stuff." Kimberly frowned, but didn't press the issue. Trini smiled at Kira, who grimaced a bit at the memory of being awoken in the middle of the night to help take pictures of Tommy and Kimberly accidentally curled up in the same bed.

"Are we ready to go, guys?" Tommy asked. "I think we've done enough damage for one day."

"Aw, come on. I'm sure there's a few things I missed the first time around," Kimberly said.

"I'm sure you're mistaken," Billy said firmly.

"I'd say so," Jason agreed, watching with a sort of amused guilt as the eye doctor tried to explain that he was an optometrist to the collapsed guy's family.

"Fine," Kimberly said with a gusty sigh. "There goes that sale at Victoria's Secret."

"Oh, yeah," Kira said, looking a tad disappointed herself.

Everyone stared at them for a moment.

"Heh… it'll still be there tomorrow," Kimberly said lamely.

"I didn't even want to go," Kira added, but she wasn't quite pulling it off.

Jason shook his head. "Maybe we can hit my place, get some take-out, hang around and stuff. Adam mentioned sparring again."

"Yeah, sounds like fun," Zack said. "Can we swing by the hotel first and grab Kira's guitar? Kira wanted to play me some of her songs."

"I'd actually like to grab the Spencer's stuff while we're there, let you all do some really bizarre shopping so I don't get stuck with all of it," Tommy agreed. "I… wait." Tommy frowned, staring around at them all. Then he put up his finger and pointed it at each of them as if doing a head count. "Someone's missing." His eyes widened. "Where's Conner?"

"I thought he was with you," Kira said to Jason.

"I thought he was with you," Jason said to Trent and Ethan.

Ethan looked slightly worried; Trent gave him a downright panicky glance. "We thought he was with you!" Ethan half-shouted, pointing wildly at Kimberly.

Kimberly raised an eyebrow. "Why would he be with me?"

Tommy gave Ethan a suspicious glance. "Ethan?"

"What?" Ethan said, desperately trying to look innocent.

Tommy sighed and glared at Trent. "Trent?"

"I… well…" Ethan was giving him a significant look, but Trent quickly cracked anyway. "We handcuffed him to a bench and he escaped!" Trent confessed. "We don't know where he's gone!"

"He could have left the mall by now," Ethan said miserably.

Tommy gaped at him. "Conner's wandering around a strange city… alone?!" he yelled. "Oh, god! I'm responsible for him!"

"He couldn't have gotten far," Kimberly assured him.

"Yeah, he's probably still in the mall," Zack added.

"No, he probably isn't! You don't know Conner like I do. He's off getting into some freakish trouble… I'd better call the jail…"

"Chill, Tommy, we'll find him," Trini said soothingly. "We'll split up and search all over town."

"Where would he go?"

"What would he do?"

"Think Dr. O will kill him this time?"

"He's been missing for hours! By the time we find him, I probably won't have to!" Tommy suddenly lunged at Ethan, seized him by the shoulders and shook him. "Quick, Ethan! Do that thing you do to make people appear out of thin air!"

"What?" Ethan pushed Tommy away and frowned, trying to combat the dizziness Tommy had caused. "Oh! Right!" Ethan cleared his throat. "It's not like he's gonna fall out of the sky and land in front of us."

They all looked up expectantly, but all they saw was the mall's skylight.

"Oh, god! Ethan's broken!"

"What are we gonnado?"

Plunk!

They all froze and looked around at the sound of a falling object hitting water. A few feet away, floating in the floodwaters, was a Red Dino Ranger action figure.

They stared at it suspiciously. Then they looked at Ethan.

"Surely not," Ethan said slowly. "I mean, no one's ever turned into an action figure when they fell out of the sky after I said that. They usually came out of thin air fully human, and—"

"Mommy! I dropped my Red Ranger!"

Several of them jumped as the high-pitched sound of a male toddler's voice floated down from above. A child on the verge of tears was pointing at the water while his mother glanced around for the nearest escalator.

A collective sigh of relief went up from the nine ex-Rangers, then everyone returned to blind panic (save Zack, who took a moment to toss the action figure back to its owners before joining the gang).

"I don't believe this. I don't believe this!"

"Tommy, he'll be fine!"

"Yeah, he went running around the other night."

"He was with Ethan and Trent! Conner alone is much worse than Conner with anyone else!" Tommy started to jog for the exit, pulling out his cell phone… and then he stopped, staring at the screen.

"What?" Billy asked urgently. "Did he call?"

"I have twenty-one new messages," Tommy said in confusion, hitting the button to call his voicemail. "I hope he's one of them." Tommy paused for a moment, frowning deeply. "What the…?"

Tommy listened for a good ten minutes without speaking until Ethan could no longer stand the suspense and snatched the phone away; Tommy made no move to stop him, staring straight ahead blankly as if trying to make sense of the situation. Ethan glued the phone to his ear, his eyes becoming wider and wider as the moments stretched until all of them were uneasy about the look of horror on his face. Finally, Kira stole the phone and hit the speaker button. "…New message number fourteen, received today at six-oh-two p.m.," said the recording before an all-too-familiar voice came on the line.

"Hi, Tommy, it's Skull again! Don't worry, that mess with the cops went fine. Well, they said something about a court date, but Lieutenant Stone always gets me and Bulk out of those, and they've let us go anyway. We're still working on that how to get him into the monkey habitat, but Bulk has a plan, so don't worry about us. We're taking good care of Conner! Bye!"

Kimberly dropped her multitude of shopping bags. Conner's hamster supplies clattered to the floor. Trini gripped Jason's shoulder for support.

"I don't believe it," Tommy said in a horrified, shocked whisper as the next message began. "He's somehow managed to team up with the only two people on the planet who are worse than Conner!"

"I'm going to hell," Ethan whimpered.

"Yeah," Trent said fervently, "you really, really are."

"I just wanted a few Conner-free hours! I didn't think that…"

"Now's not the time to argue," Trini said in a tone she usually reserved for people who'd just gone through massive emotional upheaval. "Now is the time for action. We need to find them."

Jason immediately took charge. "Zack, you and Billy take Ethan and Trent. Head for the zoo and try to pick up their trail. Trini, you and Kim and Kira check that club Bulk owns and the park—places they might have gone. Tommy, you're with me; I'll drive. We'll swing by Bulk and Skull's houses and then hit the hotel. Tommy, keep listening for a clue as to where they are now. Anyone who has Conner's number, call it every few minutes and let the others know if you get an answer. Any questions?"

In the slight pause that ensued, they could hear Bulk over the phone saying, "Don't worry, we're fine. That giraffe was no match for me! We couldn't get Farky in, though, so we're working on a way to take off the orange paint."

"All right," Jason said, taking a deep, steadying breath. "Let's go."

Connie had no sooner put one foot inside the shower door when someone started pounding frantically on the front door. Sighing, she threw on a bathrobe and headed for the door, hoping her boyfriend hadn't managed to get himself in another bizarre scrape.

"I'm coming!" she shouted as she entered the living room and headed for the window. A glance outside revealed two big guys on the stoop, one in green and black and the other in red and black, both of them looking worried.

She went to the door and opened it, looking up at them expectantly. At the sight of her, both of them suddenly looked rather blank, their expressions quickly changing from anxious to confused.

"Yes?" she asked, glancing from one to the other.

The one in red shook himself slightly. "Um… does Bulk live here?"

"Yes, he does. What's he done now?" she asked wearily.

"Are… are you his sister or something?" the one in green asked.

"No… I'm his girlfriend," Connie explained. "Can I help you?"

They stared at her. "Er… we are talking about Farcus Bulkmeier, right?" the one in red said hesitantly.

"Yes," she said suspiciously. This sort of thing had happened before—a lot of people who knew Bulk were startled to discover he had a girlfriend. They didn't see the sweet, passionate, brave man she saw; they only saw the bumbling goon on the surface.

The one in green coughed. "You, uh, you been with Bulk long?"

She nodded. "We met on the Junior Police Patrol. We've been together for about three years now."

"Ah." The green one cleared his throat. "Sorry, it's just… um… you're kinda…"

"Hot," the red one muttered.

Connie's eyes narrowed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," the green one said hastily. "We just, ah, we didn't know Bulk was seeing anybody."

"Apparently things have really changed since high school," the red one said, shaking his head.

"You went to high school with Bulk?"

"Yeah, um, him and Skull… are… out… with a friend of ours," the red one said.

She sighed. "Does this have anything to do with that damned monkey?"

"What monkey?" they both asked innocently.

Connie rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't know where he is."

"Listen, we really need to find him," the green one said desperately. "See, this kid, Conner, I'm responsible for him, and Bulk and Skull took him to the zoo or… something… and I really need to get the kid back."

"Why?" Connie asked, frowning.

"Well… because Bulk and Skull have him," he said, as if this should be enough.

"If you were that worried about their parental instincts, why did you let Bulk baby-sit him?" she asked.

"We didn't," he insisted.

"Yeah, we haven't sustained any massive head injuries recently," the red one added.

"That's the problem. Conner's my responsibility and I turned my back for a second and now he's out with Bulk and Skull and a monkey. Now,please, tell us where they went?"

"I don't know where they went," Connie repeated. "Bulk called to say he wouldn't be home in time for dinner, but that was the last I heard."

"What do you know about the monkey?" the red one asked. "Any idea why it's orange or how it's illegal?"

She frowned. "It's orange and illegal?"

He sighed. "You didn't know?"

"No. It's orange and illegal?"

"Yeah, um… you know what? We should get going. If you hear from him or Skull, tell him Tommy and Jason are looking for him."

"Oh, you're Tommy?" Connie asked the red one.

"No, he is," he said, pointing at the green one. "I'm Jason."

"Oh. Yeah, he mentioned his old pal Tommy was in town with a bunch of kids. And there was something about him having to go to Reefside yesterday because you might be a Power Ranger…?"

"Oh, that," Tommy said, shifting uncomfortably. "Yeah, that was… a misunderstanding. A huge one."

"I saw on the news that people thought you were the Black Ranger or something."

Tommy shook his head. "Yeah. Don't worry. I'm not the original Black Ranger."

"Ah. Okay. Well, like I said, I don't know where Bulk is. He said he and Skull were going to go look at some baby carriages, and then they called to say they acquired a monkey somehow, and then they called to say something came up and they were going to be a while…"

"Sounds like a typical day with Bulk," Jason said ironically.

Tommy frowned. "Why does the monkey need a baby carriage?"

"It doesn't. They somehow got the monkey while out shopping for baby carriages."

The two guys looked at her with identical suspicious expressions. "Why were they looking for baby carriages?" Tommy asked.

"For me."

"Why do you need a baby carriage?" Jason demanded, a note of panic in his voice.

"I'm pregnant," she replied. "Fourteen weeks. Just past the first trimester."

They'd both gone oddly still. "It's," Jason began in a strangled tone, "it's not Bulk's, is it?"

"Of course it is. He is my boyfriend, after all."

They stared at her, stricken and horrified. Connie frowned, wondering what their deal was. "Bulk," Jason croaked, "is reproducing."

"This day just keeps getting worse," Tommy whimpered. "Never mind the fountain, the gerbils and the ceiling tiles. Bulk's got Conner and an unlawful monkey and he's going to have a baby."

"With a girl," Jason added, now slightly awed.

Connie glowered at them. "I'm not sure I see what's so shocking."

"Nothing," Tommy choked out. "Nothing. Just… you're… having a baby. Bulk's baby. It's just kinda… sudden. A baby. You're… having Bulk's baby. I'm… sorry." Jason elbowed him. "I mean, uh, congratulations. Let's go, Jase."

With that, the two guys bolted back to the pickup truck parked at the curb and dove into it; Jason drove away before Tommy could even close his door. Connie shrugged and went back inside, wondering why Bulk always seemed to have the strangest friends.

Zack, Billy, Ethan and Trent stared in dismay at the monkey habitat—what was left of it, anyway. The large indoor structure had been… breached, for lack of a better term. Most of the cages stood open and the chimpanzees seemed especially agitated; according to the plaque beneath their cage that listed their names, ages and history, one of them was missing. A trio of spider monkeys was swinging from an overhead light fixture. A disgruntled gorilla was explaining something to a trainer in sign language. The orangutans were pelting a security guard with a seemingly endless supply of figurines from the gift shop. The four ex-Rangers tried not to listen to all the disturbing things about tranquilizing the giraffes and penguins in the dolphin tank and escaped boa constrictors they could hear coming through the guard's radio.

"Well," Zack said dryly, "I think we've found their trail."