Back to Victoire peeps! Happy New Year!

"Wait! Vic- Wait!"

I stomped ahead of her. I couldn't face her. Her understanding, her sympathy- it would all be real when I saw her face. How could I be so fucking dumb! After how superior I'd been? How I'd looked down on Carlisle- how pathetic I'd thought her! My God- I was so much worse than her- so much worse. I at least had precedence to back up my suspicions about Lupin! And I'd ignored it all! What for? Because I thought I was prettier? Because I thought I was cleverer? Because I thought that I understood him as she never had? God.

And Cass…

I stifled a sob; suddenly reaching a standstill as Lys finally closed the distance between us, wrapping me in comforting arms. We stood interlinked at the top of the steps to the dungeons. He'd be down there. Commiserating with his friends about the loss today. Probably hating me. He'd warned me, actively tried to stop me- and I- I- I threw it back in his face! So convinced I'd known better! I threw away one of the most important people in my life- and for what? For some random shag with Teddy Lupin?! Merlin when Bursnell got wind of this…

"Shhh- Vic come on- he's not worth your tears." She wiped them away with her thumbs, peering up at me in concern. "For what it's worth- we all believed him. I even… Shit. What exactly did he say?"

I hiccoughed through tears; still unable to meet her gaze. "He said Cass told him we were still sleeping together and he believed it and he- he implied I was a slut- and- Merlin, Lys- what am I going to do?"

She forced me to keep walking, allowing me to cry into her shoulder as we advanced towards the dungeons. Looking up at me as we reached the entrance, she placed steadying hands on my shoulder.

"Deep breath. We're going in. You're going to hold your head high. None of this is your fault. He's a dick- and we'll deal with him tomorrow."

I shook my head, furiously.

She nodded, equally vehement.

"Waaaaaaaiiit!"

We both whirled around in shock as a familiar mess of raven hair and cologne crashed down the corridor; out of breath and winded. He must have ran the whole way from the Gryffindor tower. I glared at him as frostily as I could.

Wordless and panting; he held out a cloak.

Lys eyed it sceptically before turning to me.

I glared at him, eyeing the old velvet cloak in distaste. "Fuck off Greenwood."

Flouncing on my heel; I spat our password and stomped furiously into the common room; leaving a bewildered Greenwood to catch his breath outside.

Lys lingered behind me; presumably making her apologies on my behalf. It wasn't his fault his friend was an ass.

Although music was blaring in the common room; and most of the students were already very drunk; our arrival did not go unnoticed- nudges and comments flying through the entire room. I ignored them. I just needed to reach our dorm.

A moving mountain loomed up between me and the dormitory door in the shape of Nott. He looked at my tearstained face dubiously; uncertain as to how to address this. He coughed.

"Um… what happened?"

I gritted my teeth. Might as well say it. Everyone would know by tomorrow anyways.

"Lupin."

Nott's face hardened as he nodded in understanding. "Consider it dealt with. Prat."

I laughed despite myself; the emotion not quite reaching my eyes. I motioned to the stairs behind him. "Do you mind? I just… really want my bed."

He shifted to the side; patting my back awkwardly as he went.

I paused, as a thought occurred to me. "Nott- he mentioned you spoke to him earlier?"

He blushed; staring at the ground furiously as he shuffled from foot to foot. "Yeah, yeah I did. I guess I just told him to… you know; stay away. I may have…" He chanced meeting my gaze; looking distinctly uncomfortable. He coughed again. "I may have implied… that you were- you know- not interested- but I swear I thought… Well, I mean, I guess I was right?"

He looked up hopefully.

Sighing, I advanced towards him, meeting his uneasy gaze evenly. Leaning forward, I placed a swift kiss on his cheek. "Yeah, you were. I guess I was the only one who just… Never mind. You've been a friend. I won't forget it."

Giving him a swift smile I turned to leave once more, more tired than I could ever remember being.

After about half an hour of staring at the velvet of my bed curtain, a quiet knock at the door startled me from my reverie. Lys. Thank God. I had wondered what had delayed her.

"Come in- Lys, I really-"

My words died as I recognised the face outside the door. He was taller; darker; and decidedly more masculine than Lys had ever been. He stared at me, silent and impassive; lingering uncertainly in the doorway. Wordlessly, he took a few hesitant steps into my room, as I watched him, silent with shock.

He closed the door slowly after him. "So, you went after all."

I sighed wearily. "I told you I would. I don't want a fight Cass. I've had a horrible night and I-

He cut across me, approaching the bed hurriedly. "I know- I know. I don't want one either. I'm… sick of fighting. Nothing I say comes out right anyways."

He smiled sadly, sitting tentatively at the edge of my bed as I straightened up slightly. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as I eyed him curiously.

"What do you want then?"

He paused. "I want to see if… you're okay. I guess." Trailing off awkwardly, he shrugged gently.

I blinked.

I should say yes. I should say yes and then he'd leave and it'd be the clever thing to do. But this was Cass. These past few months suddenly seemed so irrelevant; especially in light of how stupid I'd been. He'd always been there for me; always willing to make me laugh, make me smile.

"No. No I'm not." I whispered. He seemed shocked at the admission, floundering for a moment. One traitorous tear slid slowly down my cheek as I remembered how ridiculously I'd behaved and apparently- that was all it took. He lifted himself off the bed, sliding down beside me and wrapping warm arms around me- safe and shielding.

"Don't cry Vic. Please don't cry; it makes me feel so ridiculously shit."

"Why?" I bawled. "This isn't your fault! It me- all me! I'm so- so- pathetic!"

His grip tightened. "Don't say that. Whatever he did- I guarantee it isn't your fault. And you don't have to lie to me. I know… I know I've been horrible to you. It's at least partly my fault. If I had been… better, then you would never have even looked his way. I should have gone straight to McGonagall and confessed- and when I hit you- Vic- you have to know that that was the singular worst moment of my life."

I nodded into his shoulder; still sniffling loudly.

He gave me a squeeze. "And I know… I know he must have told you what… what I said. Today I mean." He looked shamefaced as I finally lifted my watery gaze to his.

"Why did you say it?" I whispered quietly.

Hitting his head back against the wall; he groaned. "I don't know. I wanted him to feel- feel like I felt. To have what you wanted just- taken from you. To know it isn't really yours; that it's slipping through your grasp and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Like you're grasping at straws."

Silence followed his admission.

He sighed; warily looking down to me. "If it had been anyone else. That's what I kept telling myself. Why did it have to be him?"

I squeezed my eyes shut; guilt coiling inside of me. I had known he felt this way. He had never said it aloud; but I'd known all the less. I could still feel his gaze on me. What kind of shit girlfriend ignores that kind of thing?

"I saw his Godfather came to watch him play. His fan club fucking loved that- did you see them? Goldenboy wins another match; his famous hero of a Godfather celebrates with him and-"

"Cass. This won't help you. It doesn't help anything. You have to let it go." I pleaded with him quietly. He remained mute for a minute.

"I just… can't, Vic. I can't stop thinking about them. They could have been at my match today. Seen me play; been congratulating me." He sounded more vulnerable than I'd ever heard him; and it was breaking my heart. I'd done this. I'd contributed to this.

He laughed bitterly. "Well- not congratulating me. I did lose after all. Caught the fucking snitch and it still meant shit. In a way it's worse. I feel like… if they'd known? Like if they could somehow watch the match from…" He trailed off; unable to say it.

"Azkaban." I finished.

Wordlessly he continued, as though he was afraid he'd lose his nerve if he didn't say it now. "Yeah. I can't help but feel they'd be… ashamed. Like I let them down. It's just a stupid Quidditch match; I know, but lately… I just seem to be losing fucking everything to him. I can't help but feel like they'd be disappointed. That I couldn't validate them… or something. I dunno; it's stupid."

Straightening up; I took his face in my hands. "Cassius. Regardless of who or what your parents are; I know they'd be proud of you. There isn't a set of parents in the world that wouldn't be. But… you can't think like that. Trying to live up to them- make them proud-? It's a dangerous way to think Cass. And I don't think they'd want you to think like that."

Shrugging out of my grip; he glared resolutely at the floor. "Christ Vic I wasn't saying I want to be a Death Eater or- whatever- I was just- trying to explain. I thought you'd get it- I- I just want… I don't know. I don't know what I want."

Sighing, I pulled back.

He groaned. "Shit. Here I am fucking it up again. I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry. Don't worry. It's not like I'll be joining ranks with the Shafiqs anytime soon." He grinned jokingly; the amusement falling short of his eyes.

I shook my head softly. "That's not funny Cass. The things they do and say- it's not funny."

He nodded sombrely. "I know. I know- I didn't mean it. Well I did- but I shouldn't have joked about it."

Silence elapsed.

"Did you know that Mercier joined?" He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

My mouth fell open. "What? But-but- wasn't her aunt murdered by You-Know-Who?"

He nodded, face masked by some indescribable emotion. "Yeah. I don't know why they do it. It's just a bunch of kids playing dress up and saying things for shock value. It's not like they have any real purpose- or goal."

I frowned at him. "And it's fucked up. I mean look at everyone who's lost people to You-Know-Who? To be parroting his beliefs like that- it's sick."

His fingers trailed my arm absently. "People like Lupin you mean."

I closed my eyes. "Yeah, Cass. People exactly like him. He lost his parents. I'm not going to pretend to know what that's like."

After a moment of deliberation, he nodded jerkily, before hesitantly opening his mouth. "What happened between the two of you tonight?"

I swallowed. "You were right all along. It was Carlisle all over again. Except worse because… it probably was just to get to you. And I let it happen."

He bit his lip. "I'm sorry. Really. I understand if you don't wanna tell me- but I have to- I have to know. Did-did you-?"

"I didn't sleep with him."

His face flooded with obvious relief, his shoulders sagging against me.

"Cass?"

He nodded.

"I don't want there to be any misunderstanding. I came to my senses in time but- I would have."

His mouth tightened slightly; but otherwise he remained impassive. When he spoke again his voice was thick. "I suppose… I only have myself to blame for that fact. The way I've acted… I'm sorry Vic. I really am. I'm not asking for a second chance- just the chance to show you how sorry I am. Do you think… Do you think we could try being friends again? For a while?"

Sighing, as tension I never knew I'd been carrying left my shoulders; I nodded. "I'd like that Cass."

"Listen- he just wants to talk to you. It's been a week- you have to see him eventually."

"He can go fuck himself. I think I've been pretty clear."

"Weasley- just please- you don't have to live with him! He's been insufferable!"

"Sounds like regular Lupin then. Fuck off, Greenwood." Nott shot him a menacing glare as we continued walking towards the trees on the outskirts of the grounds. It had become a favourite downtime haunt of mine; mainly because there were very few students to bump into, and by extension, less awkward conversations. Lys snickered gently, shooting Nott an appreciative look.

Shoving past a distinctly injured looking Greenwood, Teddy's other friend stared at me beseechingly.

"Weasley- I am begging you. Just come with us. He will literally kill us if we come without you. He just wants to apologise- to explain."

I drew to a halt. "Who even are you?"

"WHA-"

"Craig, shut up! Weasley. He said he would give you the invisibility cloak, just to come. Please- without Nott or Zabini or any of the usual bodyguards-"

I rolled my eyes. "There isn't a thing in the world he could do to convince me."

Aelius grabbed my arm. "Give him a chance to prove you wrong."

I eyed him curiously. "Why? What's… what's he done?"

He shrugged. "We don't even know. He disappeared this morning and barked our instructions at us."

Lys turned bemused eyes on me. "I'll go. If it's worthwhile… I'll come back for you."

Shrugging; I allowed it, watching as the three of them slowly walked back towards the school. I plonked myself down on the grass. Nott shot me a plaintive look that spoke volumes of his disapproval of the whole arrangement. It was a mystery to me how they had even found us out here. It was pretty secluded. But whatever. If I refused to even see his stupid attempt at an apology then I looked petty. Best to just arrive and feign boredom and put the whole fucking thing behind me. Nott lowered himself slowly onto the grass, casting his gaze around for something to say. Muttering quietly to himself and fidgeting with his robes, I watched as he grew more and more agitated; searching for something comforting to say that didn't sound too girlie.

"Hiding out here?"

I looked up, smiling in welcome as Cass lowered himself down beside me. Nott shot him a relieved look; delighted to be spared the task of playing mother to me. I wasn't sure how this new friendship with Cass would progress; but I knew he had at least said something to the Slytherins. There wasn't a word about Lupin for the past few days. I was sure people still were talking about it, but at least not to me.

"Not hiding. Waiting. Lupin has apparently planned some form of an apology in the Great Hall. Lys has gone to scope it out."

Cass's face darkened considerably. "That sounds like a horrible idea."

Catching my wary expression; he sighed and smiled reluctantly. "But it's your decision. I'll come with. In case you need back up. Or just to watch him squirm."

Nott coughed. "She has back-up."

Chuckling, I stretched out on the grass between the two of them. "She doesn't need back-up."

Cass looked between us, amused. "Since when are you two besties?"

"Since you became a dick." Nott stared at him blankly, as Cass and I laughed.

He shrugged, his dark hair slipping across his forehead. "Fair enough. But I am trying to make it up to you. I will definitely be there to watch Lupin attempt to win you over again. From experience- it isn't fun."

I glanced at him. "You sure? I mean if it's weird… you don't have to."

He groaned. "It's beyond weird and it goes against every fibre of my being but… If you're going then I… will be there. However you want me."

I smiled over at him and he grinned in response. "Besides it's been a while since I had a good fisticuffs."

I laughed. "Don't worry. I doubt it will get that far. I plan on keeping it very short."

Nott raised eyebrows. "We'll see won't we?"

Cass smirked. "Well now I'm definitely going."

Hurried footsteps broke apart our laughter, as Lys crashed hurriedly through the trees. She fixed her slightly bewildered gaze on me, flicking uncertainly between Cass and me.

"Um… Vic? You'd better come quick." Her voice came out weirdly strangled.

I rose slowly; cautiously. "Why? Merlin, what's that prat done?"

She shook her head in silent awe. "You have to come now- they- they're freaking out." Impatient with my lack of speed; she grabbed my hand and tugged me after; running clumsily up the castle lawns and front steps. I noticed Cass jog warily behind us, his footsteps drowned out completely as we neared the Great Hall by the outcry of angry students.

Pushing through the masses; I noticed an awful lot of hostility directed my way as many Gryffindors pulled back to glare at me; Carlisle dramatically storming from the Hall in protest at my arrival. A few Slytherins grinned though, clapping my back in appreciation as I looked for the root of the drama, nonplussed.

At the centre of the commotion was a confused and angry Aelius. Craig was holding something in his hands- but I couldn't make out what. He thrust it in Teddy's face, shouting something heatedly. Teddy stared back at him miserably, as Aelius apparently was lost for words. Whatever Teddy's plan was; they had definitely not lied when they said they had no clue.

The crowd suddenly turned to face me; realising I had arrived. McGonagall; angrily trying to dissipate the crowds, marched over to me, students parting to allow her through.

"Miss Weasley. I felt that this should be returned to you, in light of recent events. You may begin resuming duties by dispersing this crowd." She held out a brisk hand, offering me a letter.

I took it hesitantly. It was heavy.

I heard Cass swear softly behind me.

I crackled it open slowly; in a daze. If… if this was what I thought it was… he- he couldn't have.

I met his gaze across the shouts of angry Gryffindors; berating McGonagall for suspending the hero of the hour- yelling for fair punishment for Zabini- bemoaning the injustice of simply reinstating me as Prefect.

He had… given up his Captaincy.

Given up Quidditch… to give me back my Prefect Badge. To give me back the possibility of Head Girl.

His soft brown eyes were imploring; his normally cheery and joking countenance entirely vanished. I had never seen him so dejected. I didn't like it. It wasn't right that someone that happy should look so miserable. I had grown to accept his enthusiasm, his energy. This wasn't right.

And then I realised on some unconscious level- that I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to make his hair that dusky gold, his eyes brighten, his face crinkle into that lopsided, goofy grin. I wanted to be the one to make him smile, to make him laugh.

Holy fuck.

He had given up Quidditch. For me.

Cass had never… He would have never…

He loved me. Lupin… loved me.

And I… shit. How did I let this happen?

"Wow. So he actually did it then. There's your answer." Cass leaned over my shoulder; looking at the gleaming badge in my hand as though it was the most repulsive thing ever created. He looked positively nauseated.

I hesitated; doubting my ability to speak. "What do you mean?"

He gave me a twisted smile. "Not just another Carlisle. Good for you. Now the two of you can be… happy little Gryffindors together."

I flinched at his choice of words. He forced himself to exhale deeply. "I didn't mean that. I just… need time to… shit. I'm gonna go."

"Cass- Cass wait!"

Just as I made to follow him from the hall; Lys materialised beside me, pulling me out of the hall and down to the dungeons. She was slamming shut our dormitory door before I woke from my haze.

"Lys- Merlin! What am I going to do?"

She marched over to her trunk, flipping it open with a viscous tug. "You need to go talk to Lupin. Now. But Cass can't know or it will hurt him."

I nodded, in a daze. "Yes. Yes- that exactly- No, Lys I can't talk to Lupin!"

She continued rooting through her trunk; impervious to my emotional breakdown mere feet from her. "What do you mean you can't? Of course you can. You know one hundred per cent that he's serious now. Now, you can admit that you like him too."

I shook my head, thoughts whirring too fast to make sense of. "Yes- no- I- can't just say that to him?"

She straightened up; fixing me with a bewildered expression. "Why not? It's the truth."

I nodded; pacing frantically. "Yes- yes- that's the problem. What about Cass?"

She shook her head, still not following. "You broke up?"

I pulled at my hair in frustration. "Yes, but I still care about him- after everything he said that night? Can I do that to him? A week later?"

She grinned slowly; holding up an all too familiar bundle of fabric. "Ah, but that's the beauty of it. He'll never have to know."

I pointed at it; shaking a finger at her accusingly. "Where- where did you get that?"

She shrugged. "I stole it off Aelius after you stormed in. I figured you were too proud to take it from him then; but you might be grateful for it in the morning."

I paused; before rushing too her and hugging her close. "I don't deserve you." I whispered, her bushy hair tickling my cheek. She chortled.

"Damn straight."

I paused again; half pulling on the cloak. "Wait. Hold up. Aelius gave it to you?"

She nodded nonchalantly.

I frowned. "Aelius. Not… Greenwood."

A faint pink crept up her cheeks. "Does it matter if I refer to him by his first name?"

My frown deepened as my suspicions intensified. "That day in potions… you blew me off for him."

She pretended not to have heard; helping me shove on the cloak. I smirked at her.

"You've been holding out, Booth." I accused.

She grinned. "I tell you everything when you get back. Provided you do the same."

She gave me a kiss for good luck. "Don't be spotted. And don't even think of coming back to this dorm tonight. That boy gave up Quidditch for you. You better make it worth his while."

I glared at her. "Lys. I am not sleeping with him just because he apologised. No matter how extravagantly."

Flopping onto her bed; she glanced up at me innocently. "I'm only thinking of his health Vic. Without Quidditch that boy is going to get fat, fat, fat. And it's a shame cus he is fit, fit, fit."

I glared at her teasingly. "Don't let Aelius hear you say that."

Getting into the Gryffindor common room was ludicrously easy. Finding Teddy in the throng of angry students was harder. After looping the room three times; I was forced to conclude he was not here. Well fine. I would wait in his dorm. I just… didn't know which was his.

Finally I spotted Aelius's friend from earlier and made a beeline to follow him up the stairs; slipping neatly into his dorm just as the door closed.

"-without even telling us! Teddy we're supposed to be more than your team! We're your friends!" Aelius spat roughly from his corner of the room; pacing the floor angrily; as Teddy lay on his own bed, head in hands, face in the pillow, back to the room.

"I know; I know! It was stupid and reckless- but it was the only thing I could think of Aelius! It was the only thing that I knew she would understand!"

"You should have told us! When I walked in and McGonagall handed me that badge- I didn't know what to think Teddy! I had Craig perform some charm to see if it was real!"

Teddy groaned from the bed. "I know Aelius- but you would never have let me do it! I was desperate!"

Craig chose now to pipe up heatedly; slipping off the wall he'd been leaning against as he observed their spat.

"Well that's wonderful because now- we're desperate! Who are we going to replace you with Teddy? You've fucked over the entire team! A team you cried when you were made Captain of!"

I winced under the cover of the cloak. Was that true? And he had given it up for me. Shit.

Finally rising from the bed; Teddy turned and faced Craig. His expression was so horrible that I wanted to run to him and comfort him. I kept myself in check. No one could know I'd come to him. Not even his friends. With how angry they were now, I doubted they'd keep his secret.

"I know that, Craig! Believe me- no one feels worse about it than me! I mightn't even be allowed play next year- never mind Captain the team! I might never play again! That means no Scouts- no nothing!"

Silence greeted his outburst. Aelius ran a hand through his hair.

"Shit man. Not even next year?"

Teddy swallowed; looking for all the world as if he wanted to be shot. "She said it was doubtful. Meaning no fucking way. She knows we had that first fight. She thinks it's about house rivalry and with all those fucking wanna-be death eaters about, she had to take a hard line."

Craig shook his head; solemn. "For a girl Ted? Really? All this..?"

He shook his head. "No- Craig; you know it's not for some random. For her."

Craig hesitated. "But she's such a bitch."

He laughed hollowly in response. "Yeah. Yeah I guess she is."

Woah now. Not the most romantic of responses.

Aelius sat down on his own bed; looking tired and drained. "I suppose of all the girls you could have fucked us for… she is the fittest. You called it mate, day one. Remember when this one was still bleating on about Portia being fitter because she had 'personality'? Dope." He motioned over to Craig in disgust.

I mirrored his look of derision. He thought… Portia was better looking than me? That I didn't have personality? I had personality in SPADES. I was glad Lys seemed to have chosen the more sensible of Teddy's friends. Even if he did have ludicrous hair.

Teddy chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess I did. But it means shit if she doesn't come around. Merlin- there's nothing else I can do. Short of turn my hair blue and walk naked into the Great Hall professing my love- what is going to get her attention."

Silence again.

"You… love her?"

Teddy hesitated, casting his gaze around him as he searched for an answer. Then he suddenly sat up; bolt upright, staring at a piece of old parchment lying innocently at the edge of his bed. The others looked over curiously.

"What? What is it?"

Frowning, he looked up slowly; his eyes roaming the very spot at which I stood. My heart beat sped up.

He shrugged dismissively. "Oh- I meant to say- I told James a week ago he'd be replacing me. I've been training him every day. The team will be fine."

They shared a look of outraged disbelief that James knew before they did; before Craig caught Teddy's forlorn expression.

"Okay mate. It won't… James's is good, but he's not you. The best replacement we could have, definitely. But not you."

He nodded sadly. "Look- do you wanna go tell him now? I kind of…want to be alone."

The paused; before nodding and filing out. Aelius hesitated at the door.

"I'll try and find Alyssa- see what she knows. Give me the map- I'll be quicker."

That lying, traitorous bitch. I knew she was keeping shit!

Teddy shook his head. "No I want it- uh- Carlisle's been looking for me."

Once the door had shut firmly behind them; I turned to face Teddy; suddenly afraid to reveal myself. What would I say? Would he be angry that I had been privy to what was clearly a private conversation?

"Do you ever plan on returning that cloak Weasley?"

I hesitated; trying to come up with some witty retort. How did he know..? Words were, for the first time ever, failing me. I found that when I opened my mouth, no flippant comment rolled out; but the most serious question I could muster.

"Why did you do it?"

He froze; back to me as he straightened up; lifting himself from his bed. It was disconcerting; all the red and gold in these dorms. They had the same layout as Cass's; but much more vibrant. It was dizzying.

Turning slowly; he stared at the spot he thought I was in. "Are you going to take it off so I can tell you?"

Slowly; I let the cloak fall to the floor.