Rule #51: No spying on Artemis and Green Arrow when they have their outings.
"Are you sure this is safe?" Wally asked as the whole team, plus Jason and Deadpool jumped through the treetops.
They had already been following Artemis and Ollie for a long time, and seeing that they were in their civvies and not their hero personas they had to be really careful. Wally didn't know just why Robin had made them follow the two archers, but after the bird had gotten Deadpool and Jason on board, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the team was forced to accompany them.
"Not at all, Wally-boy." Jason answered his question, jumping right next to him.
Wally felt like such a ninja right now, not like he would tell any of the bats there. When the two archers finally stopped, they were in a clearing with six other men and two teenagers. It was actually like a hodgepodge of different. There was a cowboy with a Chinese looking male in a headlock, along with a strong looking ginger laughing at both of them. Then there were two brunettes; one significantly shorter and younger than the tallest one there; talking to each other, and a blonde smiling at them. Then the two teens were talking with each other, both of them blue eyed, but one was blonde, and the other was red haired.
"Hey, isn't that Roy?" Jason asked, looking at the young red hair much more intently.
Robin narrowed his eyes, then gasped. "Dude, do you know who that man is?" Robin whispered, knowing they should keep their places secret now.
Wally looked at him, and shook his head. "Dude, every one there is a man. The only ones I recognize are Roy and Ollie."
Robin rolled his eyes, and said, "The tallest guy. The one with the trench coat." all the while pointing at the tallest brunette.
Wally narrowed his eyes, but Jason didn't let him ask another question. "Travis Lee? The newsman? What's he doing here?"
"Stupid Bats..." Wally muttered, but Robin chose to ignore him.
"Better question yet, what Greg Saunders doing here?" He asked, making the team look at him. He sighed yet again and said, "He's a country singer."
They all nodded, understanding what he meant, then something weird happened. Ollie drew his bow and arrow, along with Roy, Greg; the cowboy; drew two revolvers, Lee Travis drew a gun himself, the both blondes drew swords, and the two that were left just smirked and got in fighting positions.
"So, Laws Legionnaires," Ollie started, smirking at Artemis, who was confused at what was happening, "We ready to begin?" He asked them.
They all nodded, and Greg spoke, "Born ready, Ollie." His Western accent was thick, making the team wonder just what they were about to do.
"We all know the rules, but because someone," Ollie accused, looking pointedly at Roy, who only chuckled, "Keeps breaking them, I'll say them again. The objective of the game is to find the headquarters of the Hand, first one there wins, and you can fight the competition, just don't seriously maim them." Ollie told them.
All the men there nodded and smiled, then Ollie spoke again. "On your marks..." All the men got ready to run. "Get set..." Artemis looked up at the trees to find her whole team looking along with Jason and Deadpool, "GO!" Ollie finished, and with blinding speed, Greg shot the blonde man.
But it seemed he was ready for it, because he was able to cut the bullet with his sword. "Tis a magical sword, my friend. Mere bullets will not hurt me." He spoke in an old British accent.
And then all of them were gone. Artemis looked back at the trees, only to find nothing. She shook her head, took out her bow and arrows, and chased after the men, not really sure what was going on.
"You totally blew it!" Jason yelled at Wally as both of them; along with the rest of the team; dangled around uselessly in the air.
Apparently, the men that she had just met took the game very seriously, and would do anything to win. Even if it meant that they had to trap the competition like animals. None of the team was ready for this, so they were quickly caught by one of the traps.
"It's not my fault Deadpool went after the chimichanga!" Wally yelled back.
"Maybe, but you're the idiot that made us come here!"
"No, that was Birdy-poo!" Deadpool yelled from somewhere in the bottom of the net, sounding muffled because of the chimichanga he was now eating happily.
"I'm going to kill you!" Robin yelled, then before any of them could get comfortable, the bird was trying to get to the bottom to kill the mercenary.
"No! Bad Bird! My chimichanga! Go get your own tacos!" Deadpool yelled, but quickly shut up as they heard punches landing.
"This is not the best of times to be arguing, Robin." Kaldur told them, even thoughh he knew Robin wouldn't listen to him.
"Now what do we have here?" A thick Western accent asked, making all of the fighting stop.
The teens and adult; because Jason was the only actual adult there, and that was just barely; looked down at the forest floor, to find the cowboy smirking at them, his revolvers back in their holsters. Next to him were the rest of the men, along with Roy and Artemis, and they both looked mad.
"Hey, Arty... What's up?" Wally asked lamely, making Jason smack him upside the head.
"Ah'm guessin' those are the teenagers yuh told us 'bout, huh, Ollie?" Greg asked.
Ollie only glared at the teens, and said, "Yeah, Greg. That's them..." Then he turned around and started to walk away. "They can get out themselves." He told them, and one by one the men left, leaving Artemis and Roy with them.
"Well," Artemis said, smirking at them. "I'm leaving. Hey, Roy? Want to get some chimichangas?" She asked the ginger.
Roy also smirked at the team, then turned to her, "I'd be delighted." And both archers left them.
As they left, half of the inhabitants of the forest were made deaf by the scream of pure agony that came from Deadpool.
Rule #52: No stealing music devices.
"Bored. Bored. Bored. Boooorrrreeeeddddd." Wally dragged out as he searched through the channels on the television.
Again he was bored in the cave, with nothing to do. Jason, Deadpool, and Roy were doing some kind of suicide mission; which he knew wasn't a suicide mission because it was the three of them; Robin was in Gotham doing something that he had forgotten about, Kaldur was in Atlantis, and James and Hartley were causing mischief with the other rogues.
Sure, Conner, M'gann, and Artemis were still in the cave, but they were all boring. So, after a whole nother minute of doing nothing, Wally decided that he had been good enough and he wanted to do something evil. So, Wally got up and sped over to Conner's bedroom, only to not find him there. Wally looked around the completely bare room, and found something he could use.
On Conner's desk there was an Ipod, and it was no secret that Conner didn't have a password. Something about him forgetting each one he uses. So Wally grabbed the Ipod, opened it, and chose music. As he scrolled down the music list, he noticed he didn't know a single song there. So, he opted to choose the most interesting sounding one 'Spellify', and screamed in agony as the violins started playing. Without even thinking it, Wally threw the Ipod at the wall, sped out of the room, all the while cursing the soft music.
After a full minute of the Ipod incident, Wally decided he wanted to bother Artemis, so he sped to her room. Much like Conner's, she wasn't there, but she too had left her Ipod where Wally could grab for his pure evil enjoyment. She had a password, but after he typed in 'Baywatch's an idiot', he was able to enter.
'Seriously,' Wally thought as he walked out of the room. 'Having a long password that has to do with me makes one wonder...'
So, like with Conner, Wally went to the music in Artemis' Ipod, only to find out she also had a weird taste in music. Not one song in there was one he recongnized, so he just hit shuffle. The loud bass filled the hallway he was walking in, and the dude; or maybe it was a chick; started singing.
"AHH! TOO MUCH AUTO-TUNE!" Wally yelled as the Ipod fell from his hands and he clutched his ears.
He started smashing his head against the wall to stop the musical onslaught, but it wasn't until he smashed it with his foot that his ears stopped feeling like his ears were bleeding.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!" Wally yelled as he sped out of the cave, passing Conner and Artemis on the way.
"What's wrong with him?" Conner asked Artemis, who only shrugged.
"It's Wally."
Rule #53: Do not try to fix things on your own.
"Wally, hand me the monkey wrench!" Robin yelled as the water kept spraying into his face.
"Why do you need it?" Wally yelled back as the water started reaching his knees.
"I want to smash this damn pipe!" Robin yelled back, making Wally gasp.
"We're supposed to be fixing this, damnit!" Artemis yelled from somewhere in the cave.
"Who cares?! Robin smash!" Robin yelled, and before they could do anything, Robin had smashed his screwdriver on the pipe.
The water torrent went crazy as it smashed into Robin, making him fall back onto Wally. "You IDIOT!" They heard Artemis yell once more, and she came running in, looking like a wet cat.
The water was now gushing like crazy, filling up the kitchen faster than a speedster ate. "I'm going to KILL YOU!" Artemis yelled, and before they could react, she had pounced the poor kid. As the three fought with one another, Red Tornado walked into the kitchen. He looked around, saw the water and the fighting teens, then turned around and called the League.
"Icon here."
"Icon, I need you to contact Batman. The team has broken the water pipes."
"Again?"
Rule #54: Do not ask Robin what's the worst torture he can think of.
"Well, as I'm sure you know, I've already used torture against the man of steel. The worst thing I can think of is exploiting the person's weakness, then make it look as if he's free to go, exploit the weakness again, hurt him some with some kind of fear, then use his weakness again, laugh creepily and make him think I'm insane, then take out my... uh... tools- Yeah, let's call 'em tools. Maybe use some fear gas, threaten them with poisoning, use some kind of mental torture, then use water-"
M'gann and Artemis were out of the room and halfway to the Zeta Beams before he got to the really bad part. Robin only shrugged, "Hey, Wally?! Want to play a game?!"
Rule #55: Robin is no longer allowed to sneak up on people ninja style.
"Hey, Wally, what are you eating?!" Robin surprised the speedster, making said boy fall on his chocolate cake.
Wally whimpered at the pieces that were left. "My great grammy baked that before she died..."
Robin creeped up evilly behind Greg; whom they found out was as evil as the team and Jason; as he eyed a special ring.
"Whatcha doing?!" Robin screamed, making Greg scream and drop the ring.
Greg turned around, his features showing how made he was, and growled, "That was my great grandfather's weddin' ring, Robin. Ah was goin' ta give it ta the love of my life."
Robin looked down at said ring, and saw that it had been smashed. He chukled nervously, and quickly pointed behind the cowboy. "Look, Wally's stealing all your food!"
"What the?" Greg turned around, only to find nothing. Robin fled in speeds that would make Wally jealous.
"Hey, Conner!" Robin yelled as the clone lifted some weights.
Conner was not expecting this which lead to the weights falling on his chest, leaving him breathless. As Conner tried to get them off, Robin chuckled nervously, and said, "It can wait." And took off running.
Hope you liked it. It was actually hard to write this. And because it wasn't my best, three reviews and I'll update tomorrow.