A/N #1: Okay welcome to the angst! I promise there is only a couple of chapters with the angst because I hate reading it! I swear it makes a story good but it literally breaks my heart that these couples aren't living happily ever after for realz! I'm holding out for Bechloe in PP3 though! GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT! Okay so shorter chapter because as much as I hate reading it I hate writing it, the only reason it is in here is because I have had the make up part in my head forever! Okay enjoy!
Chapter Fifteen – Failed Attempts
Beca
It had been just over a month since their Regionals performance and Beca found herself yet again back on the Bellas white mini bus headed to Semi-Finals at the University of Richmond Virginia. This past month had been rather eventful in Beca's life. They kept practicing the same routine but you know "exactly the way we rehearsed it" before regionals, Chloe had taken them out to the club and they had a great time together, Lexa had officially started softball games (only two so far and of course they were undefeated), and her life at the radio station had taken off.
Last week Lexa and Beca had been studying in their dorm with the radio tuned to the campus station in support of Beca's job there. Suddenly she heard Luke introduce a new arrangement that he had recently heard and just had to play. The moment Beca's mix played through their dorm both her and her sister abandoned their studies in turn to celebrate the song being played, only seconds passed before they were both out the door and headed across campus to the station. Beca wanted to confront Luke and know if he actually did like the song, Lexa was on her phone calling Clarke to tell her to turn on the radio if she already hadn't. Beca burst through the doors and headed for the booth, blowing right past Jesse who had a creepy grin on his face.
"This is my track! You are playing my song right now! That is amazing! Do you like it?" If she was any happier Lexa would have probably already called for an ambulance to get her checked out. Her sister floated into the station after her.
"It's a sick beat! I'm sorry I didn't listen to your stuff sooner." Luke was lucky he was cute and had that damn British accent because otherwise he would get away with nothing. "I've heard a version of this before but yours is better."
"Yeah it is!" The voice made Beca jump because it was foreign in this place. She turned to see a smug looking Chloe standing between a proud Lexa and an entertained Jesse. Beca flicked her eyes between all the faces and then back to Luke before locking with clear blue eyes.
"Were you somehow involved in this?"
"Well only kind of. Luke and I go back to freshman year, we took Public Speaking together, and I needed a demo to take to Tyler for the club. I remembered you telling me that you gave a bunch to Luke but had never heard anything so I figured he would be willing to part with them. When I told him why I needed them he actually started to listen to them, so inadvertently yes this was my fault." Chloe looked her dead in the eye before her face fell at the end and her gaze dropped to her feet. God she is adorable when she is nervous! Beca started to move when Luke spoke again.
"I know you will probably be busy but I wanted you to take the night shift over spring break and play your music." Beca knew her jaw hit the floor when Luke kept talking. "I'm serious I will give you keys and everything, yes you will be the first freshman allowed in the booth."
"And Tyler got you a few slots to spin at Arkadia on the weekends." Chloe added in quietly. Beca didn't know what to do, she was so excited and so happy. Chloe basically got her life started for her, she gets to play her own music over live air and have people hear it, and she gets to spin at one of the hottest new clubs in town. All thanks to that fiery redhead who burst into her shower and that she calls her girlfriend. Beca sprinted across the space between them and locked their lips together pouring as much emotion and gratitude into that kiss that she could. When she thought about it really Luke was the only person here that didn't know about them (Jesse did catch her staring and knew she was into her).
That was one of the best days she had had at college so far and she was still reeling from it. She and Chloe had, of course, sat on opposite sides of the bus to keep up their act until after this performance. Beca couldn't help but steal glances over her shoulder at her though, what else could she do? She was bored! She also may have forgotten her headphones back in her dorm because she was distracted by pale pink soft lips that were perfectly forming to her own. Worth it! She thought to herself with a smile and another glance over her shoulder, this time she was caught and the smile returned. That was when the text messages started.
Chlo-bear: You look bored.
DJ Love: No actually I'm very entertained by listening to the rather soothing sounds of Stacie filing her nails, Cynthia Rose flipping pages, Jessica and Ashley playing some kind of damn clapping game like children, and Lilly flicking her fucking pencil around.
DJ Love: Yeah totally Zen right now.
Chlo-bear: Why didn't you bring your laptop to mix on the way? Or your headphones?
DJ Love: I learned early on that vehicles moving on the ground and mixing don't exactly…well…mix. I get super bad headaches and feel like I'm gonna pull an Aubrey.
DJ Love: Also it is your fault I don't have my headphones.
Chlo-bear: Why is it my fault?
DJ Love: Because you were kissing me and that tends to make my brain short circuit.
She heard Chloe let out a chuckle at that and glanced over her shoulder with the best questioning straight face she could manage to see the face splitting smile Chloe was wearing. Beca loved that smile and if getting to see if more meant that she had to be overly cute in her honestly then fuck her badass reputation. Okay no that was a lie, she will always be a badass just on the outside and for everyone that isn't Chloe. Her phone vibrated in her hand again but this time it wasn't Chloe.
Delinquent: Lex said to tell you that we are only like twenty minutes behind you. Like that is actually something you would care to know. God is she always this protective? I mean it's adorable but come on!
Criminal: Yes she is, it has helped us out in the past. Like last month. Don't let her catch you calling her adorable she won't like it.
Delinquent: Too late.
Delinquent: She is super fucking adorable when she is trying to be mad and her face gets all red because she is embarrassed!
Delinquent: I'm enjoying this game.
Criminal: Well you guys might only be ten minutes behind us soon, Amy just pulled over to fill up.
The conversation with Clarke ended with an 'okay' and Beca went back to watching Chloe. To make it less obvious she turned so her back was against the window and her legs were out in front of her across the seats. Clarke's nickname had come about because after some of the stories of young teenage Clarke and her friends Beca called them "Delinquents". Clarke fought back with the fact that she had never gotten caught and never been arrested (even if they weren't charged) and started calling the sisters "Criminals". It only lasted that one time calling Lexa that because she pulled the whole 'that would mean you are dating a criminal' line and it was over. Beca found the teasing between her and Clarke to be entertaining and kept the nickname anyway.
Moments later there was a loud thud from the back of the bus and then Amy yelling, "I'VE JUST BEEN SHOT!" Cynthia Rose was the first one on her feet, closely followed by Beca who was trailed by Lilly whispering something along the lines of.
"This is why I brought my throwing stars."
Beca and the others found Amy on the ground covered in what looked to be something Aubrey would have produced. Only it was giant burrito that had been thrown from the window of the Trebles bus by none other than Bumper Allen. They were able to get Amy cleaned up and the only part of her uniform that would need changed was her white shirt, this was why Aubrey always made the Bellas bring an extra uniform each.
As they hit the road Beca resumed her position to watch Chloe who suddenly jumped a little, smiled, glanced at her, and then started typing on her phone.
Chlo-bear: Guess what song my playlist flipped to.
The emoji at the end was enough to give it away, but of course when Beca looked up through her eyelashes Chloe was smirking.
DJ Love: Oh god!
Chlo-bear: This song brings back memories.
DJ Love: Chloe no.
Chlo-bear: But it really builds Beca! All I can picture right now is how hot you looked in that shower and how easily our voices blended together.
Chlo-bear: Other things of ours blend together well too ;)
DJ Love: No Chloe no winky-faces! This is not happening!
Chlo-bear: Your face was that shade of red in the shower too and I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of the water. If I'm not mistaken there wasn't any running.
Chlo-bear: If you were over here I would not be able to contain myself right now.
DJ Love: Damn it Chloe I said NO!
It was useless at this point. Beca knew exactly what was going to happen and she would still try her damnedest to stop it. Chloe was persistent to say the least, that might explain why they were currently somewhere between second and third base in their physical relationship. No complaints from either party by the way, not in the slightest. Beca just wanted their first time to be…okay so special is not the word…more like, meaningful.
Chlo-bear: Think about how fun it would be to do things while desperately trying not to get caught.
DJ Love: It's much easier to just not do them at all so you don't even have to worry about getting caught.
Chlo-bear: I need you Beca.
Chlo-bear: I need to feel your lips against mine.
Chlo-bear: I want to taste the skin on your neck and bite that little spot behind your ear that turns to into goo before my very eyes.
DJ Love: Fuck you, Beale.
Chlo-bear: Yes Bex, please ;)
DJ Love: I said no fucking winky-faces!
Chlo-bear: I want you to run your hands down my back while I grip your hips and pull you into me.
Chlo-bear: God I love it when you wear your flannels because popping the buttons one by one is like opening presents Christmas morning only better.
Chlo-bear: I love getting to trial my hands over you while I push it off your shoulders and when you throw it across the room…that gets to me faster than this song!
DJ Love: Okay I am officially done with this conversation!
Chlo-bear: You are not very subtle babe. Your face is really red, aww babe are you embarrassed?
DJ Love: No.
Chlo-Bear: Then that means I successfully turned you on and my mission has been accomplished.
DJ Love: That's it. I'm ignoring you now.
DJ Love: Mostly because I can't do anything about all of this and I really fucking want to.
With that Beca silenced her phone completely and stuffed it in the pocket of her sweater. She refused to look at Chloe because yes, Beca was shamelessly turned on right now. She sat up, trying to cool the heat that was sitting deep in her gut, and started to look over Amy's shoulder at where they were driving. She noticed a bit of leftover burrito behind her ear and when asked about it Amy answered with "it fuels my hate for him". Beca just sat back in her seat and her mind instantly went to thoughts of Chloe, ones that would no doubt have made her poor late grandmother faint.
The thoughts and images of her girlfriend didn't get any better once she heard her humming and then…oh god…singing! The song choice was not one of Beca's favorites but it was mostly due to the artist herself. Her thoughts were so clouded by images of Chloe she hardly heard a few others start in on the song along with Chlo. It was only when Aubrey started to sing with them that Beca snapped out of her thoughts but didn't dare look over. The thought of Aubrey Posen actually singing for something other than some sort of competition was enough to make her question reality.
Suddenly the singers were getting louder and it wasn't due to them projecting their voices. Beca chanced a glance and suddenly she came face to face with Chloe, Aubrey, and a rather brave Stacie who had stood up while the bus was still in motion. "Oh my God!" Beca tried to look back out the front window but it was no use she could even tell that Amy was waiting to hear her sing.
So after their last "and a Jay Z song was on" Beca looked at them each again and saw Chloe give her a small nod and that was enough to send her into the first line of the chorus and all of them back into the song. They sounded great, again because they were winging it and actually listening to each other. Damn it she hated that General Posen couldn't see that this is what made them better, that this was better than any performance they have ever had. Of course it was short lived when Amy ran the bus out of gas because she was hit with flying Mexican food.
As Aubrey yelled about not wanting to ride with the Trebles, Beca sent out an S.O.S. to Lexa. Clarke replied saying that they would stop and make sure the bus was taken care of. Being as though it was currently Aubrey and Chloe's responsibility one of them had to stay behind as well. Beca gave Chloe a side look and she volunteered. No more than ten minutes later Lexa and Clarke pulled up in the Jeep saying that the tow truck would be there in about twenty minutes and would fill it up and get it to the campus where semis were being held. The Treble bus showed only moments later and the other Bellas loaded it and took off for the competition.
"I'm shocked she actually let you both stay behind." Lexa said as they all piled back into the Jeep once the tow truck got there. They all agreed with her but Beca was still mainly focused on why she made sure Chloe stayed behind with her. Once they were in the backseat she launched herself across the space between her and Chloe and attached their lips in a heated kiss. "Beca what the hell! Can you keep it in your pants we are like right here dude!"
"Oh no she was relentlessly trying to turn me on during that bus ride. Now I need a fix otherwise I will not be able to get on that stage and actually keep my eyes off her perfect ass!" Beca only broke their kiss to chastise her sister and went right back to her previous position. Chloe only smiled and giggled into her mouth which only fueled Beca more. They literally couldn't be back at Barden fast enough right now.
Chloe
They had gotten to the campus right as the Bellas were being taken to their warm-up area. Lexa and Clarke split from them and got their tickets. Aubrey was already having a mini-panic attack, when they finally showed it seemed to subside. After a rather short, in Chloe's terms, lecture from Aubrey they all filed into the warm-up room and started on scales. After a complete run through at half power Aubrey gave them then another lecture, Chloe figured it was meant to be a pep talk but yeah, not one of Bree's strong points. Then Benji, Jesse's roommate from Barden who was oddly obsessed with acapella and had auditioned but not selected for the Trebles, showed up to take them back stage where they would be waiting for the group before them to perform. Beca gave Benji a smile and even caressed his arm as they passed him due to the death glare he was given from Aubrey when he opened the door.
"How close are you and Benji?" Chloe whispered at they followed behind him.
"Close enough to know that he was absolutely crushed when he didn't get to be a Treble, he is a huge nerd, weirdly into magic, and a super sweet guy. He hangs around the station sometimes with Jesse, I think Luke has a soft spot for him too." Beca said with a smile. "He's nice to talk to, a great listener, he genuinely cares about everyone. He is like a male version of you except less confident, way nerdier, and not nearly as sexy." She added a wink after the last part and moved ahead of Chloe in the pack of Bellas.
They were ushered backstage to watch the next two groups before them perform. The group that was currently on stage they didn't need to worry about, they were falling over each other and their soloist missed their cue big time. Once their performance ended the next group was introduced as 'The Footnotes'. They took the stage and a young guy started soloing Michael Jackson. We are in trouble. Chloe thought and as she looked at Beca she knew she wasn't the only one.
"Five minutes Bellas." Jesse informed Aubrey who was on the other side of the side curtain with Stacie who spoke what everyone else was thinking.
"Where did he come from?" The panic was evident in her voice. They. Were. SCREWED!
"It's over! There is no way we can beat The Footnotes and the Trebles!" Fat Amy whisper yelled since Aubrey had already 'shushed' Stacie before. Suddenly Chloe became incredibly self-aware of her nodes and knew that she could throw this whole thing for them.
"Aca-huddle, NOW. The top two teams move on to Nationals." Aubrey started in hushed tones. Chloe almost couldn't focus on her words due to the amazing performance that was happening on stage. The crowd was loving it, the other teams competing were loving it, hell CHLOE was loving it! "We just have to beat one of them. If we do it exactly how we rehearsed it okay? Exactly!" She gave a pointed look to Amy who only smiled and looked sheepishly at Beca next to her. Then they had another failed attempt at their Bella cheer and didn't even try. Chloe was slightly nervous now.
Once the Footnotes were ushered off stage with a rigorous round of applause then the Bellas were introduced and took the stage. Chloe threw on her perfect show stopping smile and took calming breaths to prepare for her solo. As they started Chloe could already see people in the audience become uninterested. She kept her facials centered to her performance and finished her solo strong. She didn't fail to notice the number of phones that had been pulled out by the audience though, she also caught sight of Clarke and Lexa who looked a little disappointed in their performance. Why would that be? They knew we were sticking with the same thing? That was when the reality hit her. They were singing the same thing they had before and nothing about their performance changed, the judges want to see their variety not how well they can memorize something. Beca was right.
With that final thought as she switched the microphone into Aubrey's hand and took her position in front of Beca she knew they weren't going to Nationals this year. The season is over. Then something incredible happened, the most beautiful voice that she had first heard in the showers of a dorm was projecting a different song from behind her.
Damn did it sound good! Chloe would never be able to understand how Beca could fit songs together the way she did but in this moment she was glad for it. Aubrey however had slipped up in her solo and Chloe was sure a few of the others faltered in their dance steps. The judges were smiling, nodding, and writing things down in their notes. This is a good thing, Beca fixed this! Chloe was so proud of her and couldn't wait to tell her, even though she knew Aubrey would be pissed and more than likely kill her girlfriend as soon as they were out of sight from the audience.
They finished off their set without any other surprises (unfortunately) and were ushered off stage with a rowdy round of applause. That was when everything went downhill and Chloe got scared.
"What the hell, Beca? Were you trying to screw us up?" Cue angry Aubrey.
"Are you serious right?" Beca fought back and Chloe feared the worst. She already knew they wouldn't make it to Nationals but maybe Beca's improve had helped them a little.
"News flash, this isn't the Beca show!" Oh how Chloe hated this side of Aubrey, this was not her best friend and she had no clue who was standing there right now. Beca instantly started apologizing (even if she really didn't need to and Chloe knew that is was because she was trying to be nicer to Bree because she was her best friend) and made her point about why she changed the set.
"It's not your job to decide what we do and when we do it! Why don't you ask the rest of the group how they felt about your little improvisation?" Aubrey basically spat the words out. Chloe instantly panicked and tried to not make eye contact with Beca but of course that was the first place she looked. Chloe instantly looked away and saw Beca's face slightly fall out of her peripheral vision. Beca then turned to Amy.
"It was cool but it did take us a bit by surprise." Amy was honest and completely right. Aubrey was still seething though so she only heard what she wanted to.
"Yeah A LOT by surprise!" Aubrey straightened her uniform and took a taller stance. "I told you she wasn't a Bella!" Chloe couldn't take it she wasn't going to let Aubrey treat the person she loved like this, but she was still her best friend so she had to do this nicely.
"Aubrey don't..." She whispered shaking her head and giving her a sad look.
"No," Beca interrupted her. "That's okay. You don't have to pretend you are allowed to have a say in the group right?" Beca was giving her a pointed knowing look. She was right and she finally said it out loud and in front of everyone.
"Your attitude sucks, you're a grade A pain in my ass, and I know you are hooking up with Jesse!"
"WHAT?" The response was only in Chloe's head but both Beca and Jesse said it out loud. Jesse and the other Treblemakers had been lead backstage to be set for their performance.
"Whoa Aubrey, calm down! I'm not the one hooking up with Beca." Jesse was only trying to help but his words sent Chloe into panic mode. Aubrey was about to find out about her relationship. Chloe started to recoil, but Chloe never recoils. What is happening? Why can't I stop this fight? Why do I want to run?
"Jesse you are not helping!" Beca snapped at him, then turned back to address the Bellas again. Specifically Chloe. "If this is what I get for trying…" She threw her hands out a little from her hips and cocked her head to the side in a way that read 'fuck it and all of you' then left with Benji trailing after her. Chloe didn't know what to do. If she went after her then Aubrey would know that she was on her side, she still needed her best friend after this. At the same time if she didn't go after Beca her relationship was basically over and she didn't know if she could fix it.
"Aubrey it actually went really well…" She started trying to fix it with Aubrey and then she would tell Beca that she was sorry and should have said something sooner but was scared but she eventually did defend her.
"CHLOE STOP!" It was no use, Aubrey stormed off in the opposite direction of Beca and now Chloe was forced to choose between them. She watched as Stacie ran off after Aubrey and the other Bellas started to file out of the stage area. Then she heard the door Beca went out of open again, she looked up hoping Beca had come back but she was greeted by the sight of Benji being held by the back of his shirt collar by Lexa who was furious. She let him go when they locked eyes and stormed over to her.
"What did you do?" Lexa snarled at her. "Why did Beca come out pissed as hell saying to take her home and when I asked where you were she said, and I quote, 'I don't know and I don't care just take me home and don't ask questions'. Well I don't listen well so I'm asking questions!" Beca had warned her about angry Lexa. "What did you do to my sister?" Chloe had to answer.
"I didn't defend or stick-up for her when Aubrey chewed her out for changing the set." She didn't bother denying it but she couldn't look Lexa in the eye. She was to ashamed of herself. "I did try to though after she left."
"Give me one good reason I shouldn't be the protective person I am." Lexa's fists were clenched at her sides and Chloe started racking her brain for something, anything, that would help her. She knew that Lexa wouldn't hurt her physically but she knew that protecting Beca was her number one skill. She knew there was only one acceptable answer.
"Because I am in love with her."
Clarke
This was weird. Beca hadn't spoken since they met her in the hallway and Lexa hadn't spoken since she came back out from backstage. Clarke knew she went to find – no talk – no definitely confront Chloe about what happened. Beca had basically curled herself into a ball, while still maintaining her decency in a skirt, in the back seat and Lexa was still seething with anger so Clarke forced her into the passenger seat while she got behind the wheel. The last thing they needed was to get in an accident. So now it was weird. For the first time since she had met them, neither of them said a word. No snarky comebacks, no sarcastic quips, there was just silence. And it was…deafening.
Clarke didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to handle Beca, that was Lexa's job, but at the moment she was so lost in whatever was churning through her brain to tell Clarke if this was a normal behavior for the two of them. The silence wasn't the problem, she could do silence, as long as it was comfortable which this was so not. It was the underlying potential for disaster. She had witnessed Lexa explode in anger once in protection of her sister, and yeah it was a turn on, but it was really fucking scary too. Lexa had a side of her that could snap depending on the situation. Though the lack of bruising and such on Lexa's hands was a dead giveaway that whatever reason Chloe gave her was the right one. She knew Lexa would never physically hurt Chloe, the girl really was a softy at heart, but a verbal beat down was expected. When Lexa came out of that stage door though she looked defeated, like for once there was nothing she could do or would be able to do to fix this.
That. Was. IT!
Lexa didn't know what to do either! She had no clue how to fix the one thing that made her sister truly happy and she was blaming herself. The knowledge made Clarke feel a little better but she was still concerned. They were only about an hour from Barden now. Yeah it took Clarke that long to figure out the problem that was hanging in that Jeep. Hey, don't judge her she is still only in the first few chapters of the Woods-Mitchell Guide Book. Though now she was confident enough to make physical contact with her girlfriend, so she reached across the console and went to take Lexa's hand in her own. Lexa flinched at the contact making Clarke draw away and put her hand back on the wheel.
What the fuck was that? She has never done that before. She is usually the one that starts all the PDA. Is it because she doesn't was to flaunt our relationship in front of Beca? Is she worried that her own sister will be angry and or jealous of them? I guess it does kind of make sense in a way, I'm pretty positive her own relationship just ended like that. That still doesn't explain why Lexa flinched at my touch though. What if she was thinking about…no that is not fucking possible! Lexa wouldn't do that, she promised, I trust her. She is WRONG!
Clarke was snapped out of her own internal argument by something touching her thigh. She looked down to see Lexa's hand lying close to her knee, her thumb rubbing softly back and forth. Clarke took a quick glance over at Lexa and saw those deep green eyes in the lights from the dash. They read nothing but 'I'm sorry'. Clarke sighed feeling slightly better and let her hand fall back from the wheel on top of Lexa's and wrapped their fingers together. Clarke wanted her to know that she would be there for her no matter what happened with Beca. As she focused back on the road she heard Lexa sigh beside her and relax back into her seat. Instinctively Clarke looked up in the rearview mirror to check on Beca in the back seat. She still had her knees drawn to her chest with her arms wrapped tightly around them while staring out the window into the black of night. Clarke felt bad, sorry, and hurt for Beca. She and Chloe were like the ultimate acapella power couple, even if no one knew it. Now that was over and it was sad, she just hoped that they would be able to work out whatever had happened.
With how quiet it was in the car she heard Lexa's phone vibrate with a text message from her pocket. Lexa didn't release her hold on Clarke though, she just dug through her pocket with her free hand to read the message. Once she read it what was when she drew her hand back. "Shit, damn it! Mother FUCK!" Lexa cursed as she read the message again and again without replying.
"Lex?" Clarke whispered.
"Shit, sorry. Fuck, apparently coach needs me to stop by tonight and go over something for our last practice before we all leave for spring break tomorrow. Damn it, I can't exactly tell her no but I'm not leaving Beca like this." Her voice was softer this time and when Clarke glanced in the mirror again she saw Beca looking at the back of Lexa's seat.
"It's okay Lexa." Okay good Beca can still speak, this is good. Clarke internally sighed. "I just want to go back to the dorm, take a shower, change, and work on my mixes for my shifts at the station. I'll be okay, I probably won't even be back from the shower before you get back. This isn't like before." That last statement made Clarke take pause and caused Lexa to turn in her seat. "I'm pissed because this could have been prevented and it is her fault. I know you talked to her and I know she spilled everything." Just then Clarke noticed a light turn on in the mirror, Beca's phone was lying on the seat next to her on silent but it still light up with every message she got. That was what had been drawing Clarke's eye to the mirror so often. "I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to talk about her, I don't want to do anything but forget for now. Go talk to your coach, I don't plan on leaving the dorm until my first shift starts anyway."
Lexa nodded and turned back the right way in her seat and started writing out her message back to her coach. Tomorrow was Saturday and the first official day of Spring Break. Both Lexa and Beca were staying back at Barden all week. Beca because she had the night shift every night at the radio station to finally start playing her own music, and because she had her first DJ-ing gig at Arkadia the following Saturday night. Most of the students of Barden would be back by then but still looking to party it up for their break. Lexa was staying because "like hell I'm going home without you" was what she told Beca. Clarke didn't have any plans either. There was the chance that she Raven and Octavia were going to go to Washington DC to stay with the Reyes' but they finally got to move back to Atlanta a week ago. They of course still had a big "family" dinner planned later in the week because her mom wouldn't miss the opportunity to host everyone for anything. Clarke even remembered Chloe saying that she was going home for a few days during the week to spend some time with her parents and brother who was flying in for some reason, Beca had been planning on showing up there as well for a day or two around her shifts.
Clarke felt her heart sink again. Beca would no doubt be spending her break held up in their dorm mixing or sleeping until she had to be at the station. Lexa would be constantly worrying about her and trying to get her to actually do something else. Clarke was trying to figure out how fast Beca could get from Barden to her own home for her shifts so she could spend some time off campus. That was when Clarke's phone finally went off. It was sitting in the cup holder between her and Lexa, she grabbed it and handed it over to her girlfriend. "Read that for me?" She swallowed the 'babe' that she wanted to add to the end for Beca's benefit.
"O said that Ontari called a girls only house party for tonight in celebration of 'the pledge class of fucking awesome'?" Lexa rose her voice in question before continuing. "She is headed there with Raven, Harper, Monroe, and Maya now and that we are to make an appearance at some point."
"Damn it!" Clarke knew there was no way out of this one too. She had skipped the last party because of her Calculus midterm that she forced Stacie and Lexa to help her study for. Well Stacie and Clarke force Lexa but she was willing since she loved math and would do anything for Clarke.
"I'll be fine." Beca spoke from the back seat.
"I'll go see coach and stop by after and say 'hi'. I'm not drinking and I'm not staying long. I'm sorry Clarke but she is my sister and I don't really give a shit if she says she is okay or not." Clarke took her hand back again.
"I expected nothing less. I'll drop you off at the Sport Complex and then take Beca and the Jeep back and meet you at the house sound good?" Lexa nodded and placed a very fast, very soft kiss to the back of her hand. Clarke rounded the last turn onto campus and headed for the complex. Lexa kissed her before turning back to Beca.
"Please put your phone in sight in case something happens. I know you don't want to read the messages from her but I might need you." Beca nodded in answer. "I love you Bex. I'll be home soon. Bye babe." She whispered the last part as she smiled back at Clarke and shut the door. Clarke felt her heart give another jealous flutter at those three words Lexa said to Beca.
Clarke headed off toward Baker Hall and parked the Jeep in the closest spot she could, which wasn't hard due to the lack of students still on campus. Beca hopped out as soon as the engine cut and started toward the building. "Beca wait." Clarke was saying as she got out of her own door and locked it. She handed Beca the keys before she hugged her. Beca was stiff, as expected. "I know you don't like this but I just needed to do it. I'm not as tuned to you as Lexa is and this is all I can offer you. You are strong though Beca, both of you are. You will get through this somehow. We may only know each other because I'm dating your sister but I still consider you a good, close friend. I know you are hurting and I also know you will deny that fact but you have every right to hurt. Let me know if you need anything and don't really feel like saying anything to Lexa. I can keep a secret." Clarke let her go and instantly headed of toward Greek Boulevard.
"Thank you Clarke." Beca's voice broke as though she was holding back tears but when Clarke turned back to look Beca's back was already to her and she was hurrying into the building. She sighed and started toward the house.
She in no way felt like partying right now. All she really wanted to do was wrap both Lexa and Beca in her arms and hold them until they felt better. She had unconsciously taken the long way to the house, probably her brain telling her to avoid the party for as long as possible, and was now nearing the Sports Complex. Maybe her brain was unconsciously drawing her toward Lexa for comfort. She started to head directly for the door thinking that she would just wait for Lexa and walk the rest of the way with her. As she got closer she saw a female figure leaning against the wall next to the door. She couldn't make out who it was from this distance but she knew it wasn't Lexa.
She kept her pace to the door slow just to keep from startling the girl that was waiting there. Then the door opened and Lexa walked out under the light, she stopped and jerked her head toward the girl on the wall. Clarke figured she had called Lexa or said something but Clarke was too far away to hear anything of what was being said. The girl pushed off the wall and strode toward Lexa, as she entered the light Clarke knew exactly who it was. Luna Harbor.
Clarke didn't like her at all, mainly because she constantly flirted with Lexa weather Clarke was absent or present. It was irritating to say the least. Of course Lexa was civil with her because they were teammates and that was just not Lexa's way. Though Clarke had been getting further insight from Anya and Monroe on what exactly Lexa would do when said flirting happened. Lexa was reported to always be either shrugging it off, ignoring it completely, or telling her to stop. All those were Clarke approved.
Though right now Luna was trailing her hand up Lexa's arm and Lexa was brushing the action off. Clarke wanted to run to her girlfriend and make a scene of kissing her right in front of Luna, but she was stuck. She couldn't move as she watched Luna close in on Lexa. They were too close together for comfort and when Lexa moved Luna followed. Then in a flash she saw the one thing she thought Lexa would never ever do to her.
They were kissing.
Clarke got her feet back then, but instead of running toward them and beating the living crap out of Luna she took off in the opposite direction in a straight line for the sorority house. The one place she could find sanctuary. She didn't wait around to see what happened, she couldn't, she wouldn't watch the person she loved the most cheat on her right before her very eyes.
That was not her Lexa.
Lexa
Thank god coach was already in her office when Lexa got dropped off. She was planning on getting the details and leaving, finding Clarke at the party, making short work of seeing their friends, and leaving to be with Bex. Coach gave her a lowdown of how they were benching Luna for a couple of games unless they needed outfielders. Luna had been overly cocky after their second game when they shut out a rather tough team saying that it was all thanks to her getting to be the starting pitcher that game. It was getting old. The cocky attitude, the relentless flirting, and the constant passive aggressive comments to everyone else. Lexa was done with her, if it was her choice she would be off the team already. Coach was right though, she was a damn good pitcher and she just needed to learn to play as a team.
Lexa sighed as she started toward the exit of the complex hoping that she might be able to catch up to Clarke on her walk to the house and tell her everything. Tell her absolutely everything that she was feeling about what coach said and about what Chloe said. She had left Chloe backstage after she confessed her love for her sister, she understood why she was sorry but she still didn't get why she was protecting Aubrey from the inevitable. Lexa knew the promise that Chloe had made to Beca about telling the Bellas about their relationship after semis. She figured that wouldn't be happening now.
She pushed open the door and took a deep breath of fresh night air. "Hey Commander." Lexa snapped her head to the side to see someone lurking in the shadows near the door.
"Luna?" She questioned and the figure stood off the wall and started toward her. "What are you doing here?"
"Coach called me in to tell me she was benching me for my attitude," She was fully in the light now. "Can you believe that?" She started to trial her hand up Lexa's arm as she spoke.
"Actually yeah I can." Lexa moved away from her touch. "You aren't much of a team player, Luna. It's getting old."
"What? The big bad Commander can't take a few innocent comments and a little flirting?" Luna was to close for comfort now but every time Lexa moved she seemed to follow like metal to a magnet. "Seems to me like you like when I flirt with you."
"No I don't." Lexa practically spat the words at her trying to stand her own ground but she hated the position she was in at the moment. If Luna took one wrong step Lexa could snap. She already had too much anger floating around because of Beca and Luna was just asking to get bitch slapped.
"Well I like it." Lexa didn't have time to move this time. It was already too late, Luna kissed her. Lexa reacted instantly not letting their lips more than brush against each other. She shoved her off, HARD. Luna went staggering backwards and fell to the ground right on her ass, where she belonged. Lexa thought.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I don't like you! I have a fucking girlfriend whom you have met multiple times! How in the fuck did you think this would go?" Lexa was pissed, she was towering over Luna, snarling and pulsing with anger. What right did she have to kiss her? "You need to get some things clear, Harbor!" Lexa threw on her Commander hat and spoke in harsh tones to make things clear. "I don't like you, at all, even as a person. You are a shitty excuse for a pitcher who has only been asking for my help because you like knowing I'm watching you. If it were up to me you wouldn't just be getting benched, you would be off the team! You treat people as though they are worthless compared to you but let me tell you something Luna. You can't get a pitch past me no matter how hard you try and I know that drives you insane because you feel like you are less than me. I gave you the benefit of the doubt when Clarke would tell me what she was you doing when I wasn't looking, I defended you when the rest of the team said that your head took up too much room in the dugout, I was the one who convinced coach to let you start in that game! But you just lost all of that! I tried to be nice but you forced my hand. Fuck off, Luna. If I hear another flirtatious tone come out of your mouth I won't hesitate to take you down. And trust me I can!"
Luna didn't move, she was frozen against the concrete with a look of pure terror on her face. Lexa snapped but she didn't lay a hand on her, that was a good thing. Maybe Luna would lay off now. Lexa started toward the sorority house sure that Clarke would already be there. Son of a bitch! I have to tell Clarke what just happened!
Of course she was going to tell Clarke, relationships were built on honesty and trust and Lexa didn't want to break that. She took off in a run toward the house, she needed to talk to Clarke fast. She got to the house noticing that it was rather quiet for there to be a party going on. When she tried the door it was locked, so she knocked. Niylah opened the door only enough so her whole figure took up the space.
"Is Clarke here I need to talk to her. We were meeting each other here." Lexa shot off while she shuffled from one foot to another. Of course she was nervous this was the one thing she knew would set Clarke off.
"She doesn't want to talk to your cheating ass!" Niylah spat with a look of disgust on her face but her eyes read happiness. Lexa's heart dropped, she already knows. But how?
"Please let me talk to her." Lexa took a step toward the door. Raven and Octavia appeared when the door was opened more, Lexa visibly gulped. She prepared herself for the worst when the pair stepped out onto the porch and shut the door behind them. "I swear I'm not cheating on Clarke! I couldn't possibly make myself do that! You guys have to believe me!" She was basically pleading with them at this point. All that was left was to grovel in submission. They both lashed out at the same time, it made Lexa wonder if it was planned.
The slap across her face came from Raven, while the blow directly to wear her lacrosse injury had been was from Octavia. The pain in both locations was enough to drop her to her knees. Remember that who grovel in submission thing? Yeah, it was about to happen. "The only thing we have to believe is that Clarke came running in here crying about you kissing that fucking Luna chic from the softball team!" Octavia was the one to speak. Lexa didn't retaliate against their violence, she figured she deserved it if Clarke was crying, that was the last thing she wanted to happen.
"She kissed me and I shoved her off! I'm not lying either, I snapped and told her off, I'm pretty sure she is still sitting on the ground outside the complex because I freaked her out." Raven was clenching her jaw in time with her fists. Lexa knew she wanted to hit her again. "If hitting me will make you feel better than do it! The last thing I want is to make Clarke cry, you both know that! If you don't believe me then ask Anya and Monroe about what Luna has been doing at practice. Please just tell Clarke I'm sorry. I didn't kiss her, she kissed me and I didn't want it to happen nor have I ever wanted it to happen!"
Raven smacked her again in the same spot, Lexa just took it. "She saw you both. She knows what happened, Clarke doesn't give a shit about what you have to say now." Lexa felt something in her chest crack, she had only felt that once before in her whole life. After that first crack happened, she stopped singing, she stopped functioning, she just stopped.
"Consider your relationship with her over!" Octavia spoke though her tone and eyes gave away a little that she took what Lexa said to heart. Raven was the one who was harder to convince and Lexa knew why. They both went back into the house and slammed the door in her face. They left her out there on her knees while she felt the bruises start to form from their blows. She wanted them to form, she wanted to see the constant reminder of what she did to Clarke. She stood and started back to her dorm. She would never forgive herself for what she did, and she would never love anyone again. Clarke may not want to be with her but she would always hold her heart.
The closer she got to her dorm the more she felt herself slipping farther and farther away into that whole of nothing that she lived in for years. She wanted to stop herself and be there for Beca but this was just as bad as when she had lost her parents, they were the last people she loved. She never truly loved Costia that was a false love. She did love Clarke, and she will regret what she did every day for the rest of her existence. Beca wasn't mixing when she got back to the dorm she was sitting on her bed in the fetal position just staring. When Lexa walked in she took one look at her and was at her side.
Lexa's eye wasn't swelling but it was turning black and blue. Lexa recounted the evening to Beca and at the end she collapsed into her sister's arms and started to cry.
A/N #2: Okay bring on the hate mail! Like for serious I know this pissed you all off but I want to hear it! The next chapter will be a little angsty too and Bechloe will be back together before Clexa. Love all of you awesome readers!