Chapter 107

Enter… the Lizzinator

Tommy smiled to himself as he sat down on the wall at the edge of the patio, drink in hand. Things were going pretty well. He'd caught Kira and Taylor dragging a hang glider out of the garage, but Kira had insisted she wasn't going to jump off anything higher than the garage roof and Tommy knew there wasn't a member of the aircraft family that Taylor couldn't handle. Trent was missing, but then Tommy figured out of all the teenagers Trent was the least likely to get into trouble if left unattended, so he didn't bother worrying. Conner was now getting acquainted with Adam and Tanya's iguana, through Cole's translations, and Ethan had finally managed to dislodge Trip's eager attention and started questioning Kat Manx about the other planets she'd seen. Tommy knew the peace wouldn't last, but all the teenagers in his care were staying out of trouble for once, and he planned to enjoy the respite from chaos as long as he could.

Sparring had started up, which was common at Rangers-only get-togethers; Tommy wasn't sure who had started it, but he thought it had something to do with Zhane and Ryan having a friendly debate over whether silver was a shade of gray or not. The matches weren't going too well—alcohol and martial arts didn't mix—and Tommy had decided to abstain, at least for the time being. Instead he sat and watched, trying to remember other Ranger kegger traditions. He knew the Yellows liked to do tequila shots together, and he'd have to make certain they remembered that Kira was underage… at some point Wes or Eric would probably start pressuring him to become a Silver Guardian again… he wouldn't have to worry about excessive doses of hero-worship, given that he'd already met the most recent White and Green Rangers…

Tommy sighed. There was currently nothing to worry about, and if he didn't find something to do quick, his brain would probably return to the mess with Kimberly.

She'll come back, he assured himself. She wants it, too. …Yep, brain's back there already.

Tommy glanced around the back yard for inspiration. Trip was now chattering excitedly to Billy. Max and Chad were talking about marine animals. Karone was discussing space travel with Danny. Lucas was trying and failing to flirt with Aisha. Carlos was chatting with Justin. Zack was trying to teach Kelsey to dance. Rocky was sparring with T.J. Andros—

"You're marrying her!"

—was screaming and chasing Zhane through the patio.

"I can explain!" Zhane wailed.

Karone groaned as Zhane darted through the patio and into the house, Andros hot on his heels and shouting about marriage all the while. "I guess he's figured out where Zhane really was when the pirates attacked."

Tommy chuckled and was about to ask her if she wanted him to go talk to Andros when Lucas dropped onto the patio wall next to him, looking frustrated. "I used to be so good at this," he grumbled.

"At what?" Tommy asked.

"Picking up girls," Lucas said glumly.

Tommy glanced around for Aisha, and saw she was now chatting with Adam. "Don't take it personal. Rocky and Adam are almost as protective of Aisha as Andros is of Karone. She doesn't shop for guys in front of them."

"It's not just her," Lucas complained. "Before the ship crash I was working on Hayley and Marcus came out of nowhere and said she had a fascinating history. Can't believe I didn't think of playing the future angle."

"Where is Hayley, anyway?" Tommy wondered, frowning and looking around for her.

"No idea. Haven't seen her since." Lucas sighed heavily. "How did you get back on the horse?"

Tommy turned back to Lucas, startled. "What?"

"You had that mega-huge epic breakup with Kimberly, didn't you?" Lucas asked.

Tommy winced. "You heard about that, huh."

Lucas nodded. "All the Rangers talk about it. Wes says you know what it's like to miss a girl."

Tommy cleared his throat, uncertain of how he felt about everyone having an opinion on him and Kimberly, especially given the past week's developments in his relationship with her. He felt it best to change the subject. "Um… who do you miss?"

"Nadira," Lucas said heavily.

"Ah, right. Ransik's daughter?"

Lucas nodded, looking utterly forlorn. "We weren't exclusive, exactly… we just never got around to seeing other people, you know?" Tommy shrugged. "But we talked about it, how of course if I'm back here and she's back there and the most we'll ever have is passing messages through Time Force then there's no point and…" Lucas sighed. "I'm trying to move on and nobody's helping."

Tommy gave him a sympathetic look, but he couldn't really think of anything comforting to say. Tommy wasn't the best at getting a date, and the last thing he wanted to do was talk about getting over a past relationship. So he went for the next best thing. "Cassie's on her third margarita."

Lucas brightened instantly. "Hey, thanks, man!" he said, and wandered off in the opposite direction of Cassie. Tommy watched, amused, as Lucas chatted to Eric for a minute, then pretended to notice Cassie and sauntered casually over to her. Soon she was grinning and patting the spot on the lawn next to her; Lucas shot Tommy a grateful look over Cassie's head as he sat down with her.

Tommy returned to the search for something to do to distract him from thoughts of Kimberly, and naturally his gaze landed on Kimberly herself. She was standing with Carter and Joel, watching as Taylor took a running start and leaped off the garage roof. She disappeared out of sight over the backyard, swooping back up a moment later. Kira cheered for her from the roof, and a moment later Kimberly and Joel were rushing across the lawn, towards the ladder propped against the side of the garage. Tommy's eyes narrowed as Joel offered to hold the ladder steady for Kimberly and paid attention a little too closely to her legs as she went, but Tommy forced himself to ignore it. Joel knew better. Tommy was the original Green, after all.

"I'll never understand—" came an unfamiliar voice from behind him, making him jump. He spun around faster than he should have while drinking, and found Katherine Manx behind him. "Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"That's okay," Tommy said, smiling as he forced the patio to stop spinning. "You just surprised me, is all. Katherine… Manx, right?"

She nodded. "They're calling me Manx, so as not to confuse me with a Ranger named Kat. Not that I mind; I'm still not used to being called Kat by everyone. You're the Zeo Rangers' leader, right?"

"Yeah. I was also on Mighty Morphin, and Turbo and Dino Thunder."

"I'm aware. I first heard of you as the Zeo Rangers' leader, is all I meant."

"That's how Time Force introduced me?"

She shook her head. "I heard about the Zeo Rangers from the Lord of Triforia."

"Trey," Tommy said, nodding. "You know him?"

"I met him once. He sent in a rescue team on Heuno when Gruumm attacked, allowing my friend and I to make it off the planet before its destruction. He mentioned the Zeo Rangers on several occasions." She glanced away from Tommy, to where Rocky and T.J. were still sparring. "I'll never understand this concept of training by fighting teammates. I've seen it on other planets, but it still makes no sense."

"It's part of learning how to fight," Tommy said with a shrug. "They don't spar on your planet?" She shook her head. "How do they train, then?"

"We trained against prisoners of war," she replied. "We didn't see the point in learning against our own kind, when our opponents fought differently from us. Is it true humans sometimes war against themselves?"

Tommy nodded. "Yeah, all the time. They don't do that where you're from?"

"No. It seems counterproductive."

He snorted. "It definitely is."

"And yet you do it anyway," Manx commented. "Tell me—humans take months to complete a single pregnancy, they rarely give birth to more than one child at a time and they train their fighters to kill each other, yet there are over six billion humans on this planet. How do humans manage to keep the population up?"

Tommy cleared his throat. "Hormones."

T.J. and Rocky finished their match and started chatting. "What are they doing now?" Manx asked.

"Uh… talking?" Tommy asked, confused.

"I missed which of them won—but they're both still alive."

"Yeah." Tommy frowned. "What, do you train to the death on your planet?"

"Of course. How else are we to become effective warriors?"

"Ah." Tommy made a face. "We don't do that here."

"That might contribute to the high population," she mused.

Tommy shrugged. "Hey, um… weren't you talking to Ethan earlier? Where is he now?"

"Having an intimate discussion with Katie regarding perpetuating the species."

Tommy took a moment to work through the Billy-speak. "Wait… when you say 'an intimate discussion regarding perpetuating the species,' do you mean…?"

"They're discussing the continuation of his lineage," she clarified. Tommy still looked a little blank, and she sighed and said, "They're talking about him having children. They went to find an empty bathroom."

"Oh, god, I've got to find him," Tommy groaned. "Excuse me."

Manx nodded and continued curiously watching Rocky and T.J. Tommy hurried back through the patio doors into the living room and found himself face-to-face with a disgruntled iguana.

"Gah!" Tommy leaped back. "Conner!"

"Cole says his sacred name is Gafarha, but Adam and Tanya call him 'Zoom,'" Conner said happily, thrusting the iguana a little closer to Tommy's face to compensate for Tommy's recoiling. "Isn't he cool?"

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Have you seen Ethan?"

Conner shrugged. "That hot Yellow chick from Time Force said something about him having kids and they went off to go find a bathroom. Why?"

"Aw, man," Tommy whined. He hadn't even had a chance to convince himself that Manx had heard it wrong. While Conner wasn't a much more reliable source of information than an alien confused about human culture, Tommy's week hadn't been going well enough for something like Ethan having sex with Katie to be an automatically impossible event. "I've got to find him. Before something bad happens."

"What's wrong?" Conner asked, but before Tommy could answer a woman's scream sounded from upstairs, followed by several more until it had become a chorus, two or three men's voices joining the woman.

"HAYLEY!" Tommy bellowed, recognizing her voice instantly. He charged for the stairs, Conner right behind him.

Tommy followed the sound of the screaming to the top of the stairs and the second door on the right, which was locked. "Hayley? HAYLEY!" he shouted. The screaming on the other side of the door stopped, but no one answered him. Tommy pulled back, preparing to kick the door down—

"Whoa," Conner said, pushing open the door Tommy had passed, "check out this bathroom!"

—when his memory of Adam and Tanya's house kicked in and he recalled that this was a guest bedroom with an attached bathroom. He darted past Conner into the bathroom and discovered the door leading into the bedroom was wide-open; he barreled through it and stopped short, his mind going thoroughly blank.

Hayley was standing against the far wall. Andros was about twelve feet to Tommy's right. Both were watching Tommy with worried expressions, but Tommy was too busy noticing Hayley to really pay any attention to Andros, and too busy noticing the fact that Hayley was wrapped in a sheet and nothing but a sheet to register how nervous she looked.

"Dr. O, what's—whoa."

Tommy was dimly aware of the fact that Conner had come into the room, and some distant corner of his brain logged the muted thud that sounded shortly thereafter, but he couldn't quite process; he was still having trouble with the fact that Hayley was naked in a bedroom with Andros.

After a long, tense moment, Conner leaned closer to Tommy and whispered, "Dude—I think they want to be alone."

Tommy's eyes narrowed and he frowned in concentration. Conner tapped him urgently on the shoulder, but Tommy didn't respond. "Dr. O," Conner hissed finally, grabbing Tommy's bicep with both hands and tugging.

Tommy shook him off and said, "Okay. I think I got it. Hayley was in here with Ryan."

"What?" Hayley asked, confused.

"Ryan. He's the only guy left. Conner, Ethan and Trent are out by default. Jason's with Trini, Adam's with Tanya, Andros is with Ashley, Zhane's with Karone, Carter's with Dana, Wes is gazing lovingly at Jen on the front lawn and no one in their right minds would cross Taylor. Billy was talking to Trip, Zack was hitting on Kelsey, Rocky was sparring with T.J., Carlos was talking to Justin, Joel's in a hang glider, Chad was talking to Max, Cole was by the lizard tank, Danny was talking to Karone and Cassie's on her third margarita. That just leaves Ryan."

"Actually, um—wait. Cassie?" Hayley demanded.

Tommy ignored her. "So Hayley was in here with him, Andros was chasing Zhane, Zhane came in here, Hayley screamed, Ryan screamed, Zhane ran off, Andros ran in, more screams, and that's where I came in. By then, Ryan was hiding. So. Tell me where he is, and I promise to let him live. In a vegetative state."

Hayley gave him an exasperated look, but Andros cut her off. "Do you happen to know where Zhane might have gone?" he asked, sounding impressed by Tommy's logic. "He was gone by the time I got in here."

"The only way in is through the bathroom, and you would have come through there. So he's in here hiding, somewhere. Probably with Ryan. Who I'm going to find. He isn't under the bed, is he? Cuz if it's that easy, I'm going to be disappointed."

"Who's Ryan?" Conner asked curiously.

"He's the Titanium Ranger," Andros replied. "I saw him downstairs, actually, just before—"

Tommy spun on his heel and marched out of the bedroom. Hayley sighed and looked at Conner. "Keep him from killing Ryan, would you? At least until he realizes that if Ryan was downstairs he wouldn't be in here with me."

"Um… okay," Conner said, shrugging and following Tommy.

Hayley looked at Andros. "As for you—take it from someone who knows. If you don't stop trying to control your sister's sex life, she's going to resent you for it."

"I wasn't trying to control my sister," Andros said, looking shocked. "I was just trying to tell Zhane that if he intends to do that sort of thing with my sister, I expect him to marry her first. I don't know how we'll get to KO-35 with the Megaship so damaged, but maybe they'll want to have the ceremony here."

Hayley stared at him. "Ah. I was just a little thrown by the panicky expression and the way he jumped out the window right before you came in the room."

"Oh, that's where he went," Andros said, and turned to the open window. To Hayley's surprise, Andros walked right over to it and leaped out himself.

Hayley sighed and went over to the window, shutting and locking it, then doing the same to the bathroom door. She didn't care what Tommy thought about her actions; at this point, she didn't even care if Ryan lived long enough to explain. All she cared about was getting as far away from the chaos as possible.

Conner lost track of Tommy at the bottom of the stairs, when Cole stopped Conner to ask something about Zoom, but Conner didn't hear what; Ryan's shout of surprise and alarm had drowned Cole out. Conner hastily followed the yelling to find Tommy in the kitchen, holding Ryan against the wall a few feet off the ground by the shirt.

"I swear it wasn't me," Ryan insisted, more confused than worried by this point. "You told us Hayley was Cuba."

"Hayley isn't Cuban," Conner said.

"Not Cuban—Cuba. Under an embargo," whispered Dana, who was watching the scene nervously, preparing to step in when necessary.

"Huh?" Conner asked blankly.

"For crying out loud, Conner, how did you manage to graduate?" Tommy said, dropping Ryan and releasing him.

Before Conner could answer, Ryan said, "I haven't even been upstairs, Tommy. In fact, I haven't spoken to Hayley, either. I was hanging out with Zhane when Andros came out of nowhere screaming about marriage so I came in here and Dana and I were talking about how you have a long-lost brother too. Then you came stomping in and I had time to say 'Speak of the devil' before you became the devil and threw me against the wall." Ryan straightened his shirt, annoyed. "I don't know who's with Hayley. I was in the kitchen with Dana."

"It's not that I'm upset about the being with Hayley part," Tommy said, in the tone of one trying to play Good Cop, "it's just that I've told every Ranger she's ever met that Hayley's mine. Off-limits completely. Except Time Force, but that hardly seemed necessary, with Lucas and Trip time-traveling and Wes in love with Jen and no one in their right minds would cross Taylor—"

"Speaking of Time Force," Conner interrupted loudly, "what's wrong with Ethan?"

Tommy's eyes widened. "Oh, god, Ethan!" With that, he turned and hurried from the kitchen.

"There's, like, no resemblance at all," Ethan said, utterly disappointed as he and Katie stared into the bathroom mirror. "Different eyes, different cheekbones, different mouth…"

Katie clapped him on the shoulder. "Your DNA has had almost a thousand years to dilute, with an average of three to five generations per century. Wes and Alex look a lot alike, but that's fairly rare, and I know Alex doesn't look much like his father. Their similarities are a bit of a fluke."

"I can't believe I'm going to have grandchildren, let alone great-great-great-great-great-great… how many generations down the line are you from me, anyway?"

"I'm not sure," she said apologetically. "But my mother was very proud of it. She would tell everyone she met that we were descended from Ethan James."

"Wow. My family tree only goes back a few decades," Ethan said.

"Well, it's a little different, being your descendant," Katie said. "Your DNA has been altered."

"By the Dino Gem?" Ethan asked.

Katie looked a little hesitant, but she nodded. "The alterations to your DNA…"

"Give you your super strength?" Ethan guessed.

"Mm-hmm."

"Oh, cool. So I'm, like, gonna have super-powered kids and stuff?" Ethan asked eagerly.

Katie shook her head. "I can't say much about your children; those who sent us back were very clear about that. Just that you'll be almost forty before you have to worry about it."

"Almost forty?" Ethan thought this over. "Well, that's cool, I guess. I mean, that'll give me time to start a career, get my life together before I settle down and—"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Katie and Ethan both jumped and spun to face the door as Tommy burst through it, looking livid—well, the parts of him they could see beneath the hand held over his eyes looked livid, anyway.

"…Dr. O?" Ethan asked blankly.

"Ethan, for the last time, I am responsible for you. I've already let you get into enough trouble without you having sex with Katie."

"What? Ew!" Ethan exclaimed, horrified. "I'm not having sex with Katie!"

Tommy cautiously peeked through his fingers at them. "Oh." He dropped his hand. "Sorry. Manx and Conner said you went off to find a bathroom and have children."

"No… we were talking about Ethan having children," Katie corrected.

Ethan threw his arm around Katie's shoulder. "Get this—Katie is my descendant. Cool, huh?"

"It sure is, Grandpa," Katie joked, grinning.

Tommy stared at them. "Your descendant."

"Katie says I'm gonna have kids when I'm forty," Ethan explained.

Tommy sighed wearily. "You know what? I quit."

"You quit? You quit what?" Ethan asked, confused.

"You. And Conner. And Kira and Trent and everything else. Kira's off hang-gliding and Trent's missing and Conner apparently just lost Adam and Tanya's pet iguana and someone's in the bedroom with Hayley but Ryan's in the kitchen with Dana and… and… I quit, okay? I quit. Do what you want. Have babies in the bathroom for all I care. I do not care. I can't take this anymore. I've taken enough. Your parents are just going to have to kill me because I quit."

With that, Tommy backed out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. "What was that all about?" Ethan wondered.

"I'm not sure," Katie said. "All I got was that someone was in the kitchen with Dinah."

Ethan shrugged and hopped up on the sink. "So. Tell me about the rest of our family. Is your mom cool?"

"Shouldn't you go see if he needs help with something?" Katie asked.

Ethan shook his head. "Trust me. If there's one thing I've learned this week, it's that all you can do at this point? Is find a safe place to hide."

Hayley sighed as she pushed away from the door, satisfied that there would be no more interruptions. She'd been listening at the door for several minutes, but she could only hear the sounds of the stereo blasting in the living room; all was quiet on the Tommy front, and that meant she could get back to ignoring the lunatics downstairs and enjoying herself. Hayley turned towards the closet, carelessly tossing the sheet to the floor.

The sheet moved.

Hayley froze, horrified. The sheet twitched again, slowly, and something began moving beneath it, crawling towards the edge of the pile.

Figuring it was better to surprise it than let it surprise her, Hayley reached down and whisked the sheet away… to reveal an enormous iguana marching slowly across the floor.

Hayley screamed in surprise and terror, twisting the sheet around her and rushing to the door. She unlocked it and flung it open, dashing out into the hall, still screaming.

"LIZARD!" she wailed. "GIANT LIZARD!"

Ordinarily that would have brought every Ranger in the house running, but no one answered her shout; the music playing downstairs must have drowned out her voice. "LIZARD!" she roared, racing down the stairs and past several startled Rangers, none of whom were Tommy. "LIZAAAAARRRRRDD!"

Through the patio door she caught a glimpse of Tommy, chatting with Eric. She rushed towards him, nearly slamming into the glass in her haste to get to Tommy. She skidded to a halt just in time and yanked the door open, bursting out onto the patio and repeating herself.

"LIZZZAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRDDDDDDD!!!!"

The Rangers scattered across the patio all stopped and turned to stare at her. Hayley knew she must look shocking, being clad in a sheet with messy hair and smeared lipstick, but she didn't much care. When no one came rushing to her aid, Hayley opened her mouth and began sucking in a breath to explain the situation once again.

Before she could, Conner's face lit up. "Zoom! That's where I left him! I must have dropped him in Hayley's room!"

Conner darted past her and headed for the stairs, Cole following him. Everyone else continued staring at Hayley.

"Lizard," she muttered pathetically.

A few people turned to look questioningly at Tommy, who said, "I don't want to talk about it" and took a large swig from a plastic cup.

Hayley sighed and turned around, heading back upstairs. By the time she made it to the stairs, Conner was on his way back down, cradling Zoom in his arms, with Cole talking reassuringly to the iguana. "Sorry, Hayley," Conner muttered sheepishly as they passed her.

Hayley didn't respond. Instead, she simply walked back into the guestroom, shut the door, locked it, grabbed the chair from the writing desk and wedged it under the doorknob… and yet still she didn't feel safe. The guestroom was tainted now, by Zhane jumping out the window, by Andros's stammering shock, by Tommy's older-brother-slash-caveman antics and most recently by, of all the freakish weirdness, a lizard. The guestroom wasn't safe. The chaos would find her, someway, somehow, and she couldn't handle it. Not one more minute.

As such, there was only one thing left to do.

Hayley marched over to the closet and pulled the door open. "Can I come out now?" Marcus whined, looking torn between amusement and annoyance.

"No," Hayley told him determinedly, dropping the sheet again. "I'm coming in."

Everything was fine. Everything was wonderful, in fact. He felt warm and safe and amused and kind of floaty.

"What's in this?" Tommy asked.

"No idea," Kelsey said with a shrug.

"We're totally going to have hangovers tomorrow," Jason said ruefully.

"Remember, it's not a good idea for those of us who drank Aquitian water to sleep before we're sober," Billy pointed out.

"I kind of love Kimberly," Tommy said.

"Duh," said Jason, Carter, Billy, Ashley and Kelsey, all of whom were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Tommy on the patio wall.

Tommy took another swig of whatever was in the paper cup Ryan had handed him as a peace offering. They were watching a Red-on-Black soccer game, composed of Rocky, T.J., Conner and Cole against Danny, Adam, Carlos and Zack. Tommy wanted to join in, but just following the ball with his eyes was kind of a workout at this point.

"I want more of this and I don't want to get up," Ashley said.

"We really shouldn't have had this party the day before tomorrow," Jason said.

"But it's always the day before tomorrow," Carter pointed out. "I mean, it's today."

"Did anyone bother to write a speech?" Jason asked.

"Nope," Billy, Zack and Tommy replied.

"Great." Jason shook his head. "Where have the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers been for the last eight years? Drinking in L.A., that's where."

"Don't worry about Power Rangers Day," Tommy said. "We're never going to survive this party anyway."

"What makes you say that?" Carter asked.

Tommy started to answer, but was interrupted by screaming from overhead, which sounded disconcertingly like Kira. But it couldn't be Kira. Kira was safe and hang gliding with—

"TAYLOR!" Eric bellowed.

Ah, so that's who the scream was. Taylor. Not Kira… wait. That wasn't good, either. Kira was with Taylor and Taylor was a cool person Tommy would like to see live a long and healthy life, even if no one would blame him for her death.

The screaming continued for a moment before breaking off, punctuated with a variety of noises that sounded suspiciously similar to the sounds produced by a hang glider crashing through a pane of glass. Crap.

"TANYA!" shouted an unfamiliar voice, coming from the same direction as the screams and shattering glass—the house next door.

Tommy staggered to his feet, struggling to regain full control of his thought processes. Eric was sprinting towards the wall separating Adam and Tanya's house from the neighboring mansion, several of the others right behind him. Tommy and his drinking mates lurched unsteadily in more or less the same direction as their sober companions.

"Oh, not the Hartford mansion again," Tanya groaned as she passed Tommy, leaping easily over the wall. Tommy followed in a much less dignified fashion that left him sprawled on the grass for a moment; still, college had taught him a thing or two about how to function while inebriated, and Tommy was on his feet much faster than some of the others. Billy didn't even get back up.

Once clear of the wall, Tommy could see the source of the commotion was definitely the hang glider, as evidenced by the bright yellow fabric of the now-bent wings sticking out of what had once been a pair of sliding glass doors leading into the neighbor's kitchen. Eric had already reached the hang glider and was trying to burrow underneath the wings, sending shards of glass flying everywhere. Tommy could hear Taylor trying to say something, but most of her words were drowned out by the same unfamiliar voice, male and elderly and annoyed by the sound of it, whom Tommy assumed was one of the Hartfords.

"Every other day!" he wailed. "This will be the third time we've been investigated for insurance fraud, you know. We've got to move, Mr. Hartford. A hang glider through the patio doors? Why can't you ever just play loud music and set fire to things like normal miscreants?"

"Sorry, Spencer," called Adam. "We'll pay for the damages."

"I'll say you'll pay for the damages!" Spencer howled.

"Calm down, Spencer," said another voice Tommy didn't recognize. "Are you two okay?"

"Fine," came Kira's voice. "I just… sorry… we crashed. I've never crashed before. Ever."

"Not the worst landing I've ever been in," Taylor said conversationally. "Not even in my top five."

"Kira," Tommy called when the grass finally decided to hold still long enough for him to reach the neighbors' patio, "you're not dead, are you?"

Kira took a moment to reply. "No, but if you're as drunk as you sound, I'm going to die of shock."

Tommy ignored her comment. "You said you were going to be careful."

"We were! There was a freak wind gu—AHH!"

Eric had finally found a space beneath the wing of the hang glider big enough to squeeze through and he dove into the mess; the glider was firmly lodged in the doorway, and shook violently as he disappeared underneath the wings. Tommy heard Taylor tell him she was fine on several occasions, and then her reassurances abruptly stopped. Tommy assumed Eric had reached her, given that the glider had stopped shaking and a moment later Kira said, "Do you mind letting me out of the harness before you do that?"

"I'm really sorry, Andrew," Tanya called. "Hey, you guys weren't affected by the Megaship crash, were you? The impact tremor rattled the house a bit but we'd already had Carmen pack everything breakable away—"

"Four clocks, two glass candlesticks and a jaguar figurine your parents gave me," Andrew replied promptly. "So far—I'm still taking stock of the house."

"Hey, a cloud of black smoke didn't come out of the jaguar figurine, did it?" Adam asked worriedly.

"I… wasn't in the room when it broke. Why?"

"Nothing," Adam called, his tone slightly panicked.

"Look out below!"

Tommy, along with most of the others, instantly dropped to the ground and put his hands over his head, expecting the worst, but it was only Kimberly and Joel, coming in for a landing in the second hang glider.

"Kira! Taylor! Are you guys okay?" Kimberly asked, struggling to release herself from the harness.

"Fine, but Taylor's blocking the thingy I need to get out of here and she's too, um, busy to move," Kira replied with a sigh. "Did you guys get caught in that wind gust, too?"

"Blew us into the street," Kimberly said as she and Joel finally escaped their harnesses. "Nearly hit a dump truck."

"They don't call me the sky cowboy for nothing," Joel boasted. "Must've been a low-flying plane. Fast, too—probably military."

"Blue guys," Tommy called, pushing himself back up to his feet. "Help me get this thing unstuck."

"Yes, do that, would you?" Spencer said irritably. "And do try not to break anything else."

"I'm coming," Billy groaned from the grass at the base of the garden wall. "Make sure you don't touch any exposed wires."

The hang glider was wedged tightly in the wreckage of Andrew Hartford's patio doors, and dislodging it proved to be a nightmare. By virtue of shouting and smacking, Kira managed to enlist Taylor and Eric's help in getting the two girls unharnessed, and the Rangers were just starting to discuss whether it would be prudent to blast through the hang glider wings with the Quantum Defender when a bright flash of light came from the direction of Tanya's house.

The Rangers clustered on Andrew's patio turned just in time to see Adam and Tanya's new waterslide erupt into flames and topple into the pool. Another flash of light went off, and they watched in horror as a laser beam struck the stone patio, setting lawn furniture ablaze.

Jason was the first to move. "Anyone without powers, get cover!" he ordered, rushing back towards the garden wall. Conner, Cole, Max and Danny shrank back against the wall of the Hartford mansion.

"Troobians," Manx hissed, scowling up into the sky. Tommy followed her gaze to what looked like a giant winged purple minivan flying above Tanya's mansion. It had thrusters where the tires should have been, and two enormous wings extending from either side of the roof, and it didn't have a license plate, but otherwise the resemblance was uncanny.

Tommy had never really liked minivans. The stigma of rampaging soccer-moms aside, his days as a racecar driver and a Turbo Ranger had left him with an appreciation of speed, power and performance, and minivans usually lacked all of the above. Of course, it only served that doom would rain down from the sky in the shape of a huge flying purple minivan. "Figures," he muttered, sighing as he fumbled in his pockets for his Zeonizer.

"It's the space pirates!" Zhane yelled as the minivan/spaceship began to turn and come back around. "They must have followed us!"

"They're gonna wish they hadn't," Jason growled. "It's morphin time!"

Ordinarily this would have produced a quick, snappy sequence of morphs, but it didn't quite work out that way. Zack took a moment to recall that he was first, not second, in morphing order, as Tommy would be using his Zeonizer, not his Power Coin. "Mastodon!"

"Uh, Ninja Ranger Power, now!" Kimberly called, uncertain of where her morph should go. Billy muttered something from the ground by the wall, but nothing actually happened in the way of a morph, and Trini gave up waiting for him after a moment.

"Saber-toothed Tiger!"

"Tyrannosaurus!"

A momentary pause ensued, during which Conner could be heard saying, "Dude, that is so the coolest thing I have ever seen."

"Right—Kat's not here," Tanya said. "Zeo Ranger Two, Yellow!"

"Zeo Ranger Three, Blue!"

"Zeo Ranger Four, Green!"

"Ninja Ranger Power now," Billy finally managed to groan coherently.

"Zeo Ranger Five, Red!"

"Shift into Turbo?" Justin said hesitantly, shooting a glance at T.J. T.J. nodded at him, and Justin took it as incentive to complete his morph.

"What's going on out there?" called Andrew from the other side of the hang glider.

"Let's rocket!"

"Lightspeed Rescue!"

"Time for Time Force!"

The "headlights" of the minivan-ship began to glow, and first one, then the other fired an energy bolt in the direction of the Megaship. The first blast scorched the side of the already badly-damaged ship, leaving a long black gouge, but the second missed and blew a crater in the front lawn.

The Rangers rushed across the Hartford lawn, summoning weapons as they went.