Author's Note: Hi. So, this is my first revenge chapter posting since the show ended. I cannot believe it's over, even though the ending wrapped most everything up.

Spoilers: Who else loved the Finale? I was so scared that Jack was going to die, and then I was scared that Emily was going to die. I was sure they were not going to give us a happy ending, but they did. Emily and Charlotte make up. Louise is redeemed (so glad I never gave up on her. she did have me scared for a while.) Nolan is running a new Revenge incorporated, maybe with Louise as his quirky sidekick. Jack and Emily get married and sail off with Sammy Jr.

Yes, David died, but considering she thought he was dead for years, and they finally got to know each other and say goodbye this time, it was much better for her. It was bittersweet, but in a good way.

I like to think Nolan is still a part of Emily and Jack's life, and while the ending was perfect and fitting, it would totally watch a Nolan spin-off. As for the whole Victoria's heart thing, I don't think it really happened. Not because it couldn't, but because I believe Charlotte has grown, and while saving her sister's life with Victoria's heart would be okay, the way she acted in that scene was just too cold and vengeful. Charlotte is done with that. She's let her mother go, and she's forgiven Emily. I do wish we had gotten to see their reconciliation, as well as how David's death affected Charlotte, but I know this wasn't the Charlotte show, and she was not a fan favorite, so I have to be grateful for what I get. If it really was Victoria's heart though, I don't think it makes much difference. The important thing is that Emily is alive and Victoria is not, and since she will never know for sure, why obsess over it.

I do agree with fans who say it should have been two hours. I would have liked more Jemily, more Louise, and more Charlotte. The Jemily scenes were so great, the sex one, the morning after one, the hospital one, then Jack asking for permission, the wedding, and of course the Sammy Jr. part. I was a little confused when he said, "I love you, Amanda Clarke" at the end. Shouldn't it be Porter know? Well, I guess it doesn't matter. I cannot believe it is over, but it was a good ending. What matters is Revenge shall live on in our hearts, and in fanfiction like this one. Speaking of…

To Those Who Reviewed

Simy,

Hello. Glad you were happy and that you loved the chapter. I hope you live this one as well.

It will move even more in her mind this chapter, as you will see. I feel like she would want to fight. As painful as her life was, it was hers, and while a part of her would want to run away, deep down, she would rather know who she is than not. I am glad you loved that scene. I wish it could have been longer, but in the circumstances, it needed to be cut short.

Unfortunately, there isn't really any Nemily this chapter, but there will be, down the road.

Very much agree with you. So much has happened, and yet it feels like just yesterday that it premiered. It's the right time, but it is sad.

Me too. Yep, those were the perfect graves. It was sad to lose David, but again, she's already mourned her father, and at least she got him back for a little bit. And maybe Victoria and David will hook-up again in the after life. I mean, yeah, he killed her, but she tried to kill his daughter, so they are kind of even now, and what else are they going to do?

I agree that they do deserve a happy ending. The concept is that revenge is not the same as justice. It is selfish, self-destructive, and all consuming. It almost destroyed Emily. The danger of giving The Trio a happy ending is that it makes people think vengeance is okay, and it isn't. Clearing David's name was good, that would have been justice, but making everybody suffer was pure vengeance. The fact that we are able to route for Emily after all the lines she has crossed is, in my opinion, a reflection on the depth of the actress, because if not played right, it would have been very easy to see Emily as a villain. She did an outstanding job at making Emily somebody who we wanted to win, but we cannot deny that she crossed many lines, as both Jack and Nolan told her on more than one occasion. She came close to losing herself many times. Still, the fact that she came out basically okay sends a dangerous message to the viewers about revenge, which is why it seemed they would not give her that happy ending. I am glad they did, but I understand why they might be wary. The loophole, I suppose, was that they emphasized that Emily lost a lot, and that she was only able to get her happy ending when she gave up on vengeance for good. I liked the ending, but I can understand why some people might take issue with it. Sorry for the monologue.

And she did. Yea! Exactly, she is a good person who values honesty and trust, like Charlotte. It's kind of like Lana in Smallville, and how (SPOILERs) she was angry at Clark for always lying to her and sought comfort in Lex because she thought he was honest with her. Lex lied to her just as much as, if not more than, Clark did. The difference was that Lex was just better at it because he was more morally ambiguous, where as Clark was a good, honest person forced to be dishonest by circumstance and therefore terrible at it so she could always tell he was lying. P.S., If you don't, you should check out Smallville. That show was my life. Anyway, Nolan is a good guy, and in spite of everything he's been through with Emily, he's pretty honest. Victoria is manipulative. Emily could go toe-to-toe with Victoria in the manipulation department, but Louise mostly interacted with Nolan, who Victoria could manipulate circles around. The point is, Louise is trusting and easy to manipulate, but a good person, who I think grew on her small time in the show. Again, she's a lot like Charlotte in some ways, who I am glad they brought back. I wish she had played a bigger role in the Finale, but some is better than nothing I suppose.

Thank you for reviewing, and sorry again if I got carried away with my response.

Disclaimer: Some lines are from the show, and I got the wording courtesy of YouTube.

Chapter Eight

"You set me up! Two years!" He screamed at her. This couldn't be real. This couldn't be real. But it was. He knew it was. How had he not seen it, "Two years and I bet you laughed at me every time I questioned you. You just fed me more of your lies! Why?" And then, the real question, "Why did you tell me I was gonna be a father?"

"I'm sorry." He hears her say. He doesn't know why he does it. Is it because he's angry? Is it because he's drunk? Is it because the gun was there, and is already in his hand? Maybe he's afraid she'll find a way to talk her way out of it, like she has every other time. He doesn't want to hear her apologize or explain. He doesn't know what he wants. Because he loved her. Oh, how he loved her. How could she do this to him?

He hears the shots ring out before he even realizes that he was the one to pull the trigger. He watches her, beautiful liar that she is, go over the edge of the boat. He knows he should feel something, but he just doesn't.

Daniel jerked awake. He looked next to him; Emily was sleeping peacefully. He got up slowly, trying not to wake her, and headed to the bathroom.

It isn't the first time he's had that nightmare. He used to have it all the time in the beginning. Eventually, it stopped being a regular thing. Still, every once in a while, it would pop up again. He hated that nightmare. All though, is it really a nightmare if it happened?

Daniel leant over the sinks and looked in the mirror. A monster is looking back at you. He splashed water on his face, trying to ignore the guilt. He had gotten better at it over the years. It's always there though. Like yesterday, when she showed him those letters. His first thought was, why hadn't she told him. She and Amanda had been roommates in Juvie, and she had never said a word. When Jack and Amanda started dating, she acted like she had no clue who the girl was.

"Amanda Clarke? As in David Clarke's Daughter?"

"As in Jack's new girlfriend. Wait, you're not talking about that David Clarke?"

"What, you didn't know? He used to own this place."

"Oh my god. My realtor conveniently neglected to mention that."

Daniel shook his head. He wasn't doing this. Not again. He had been here before. Little moments where he wondered if Emily was really who he thought she was. His mother's voice in his head, getting him riled up.

He had let himself go down this road before, this road where he did not trust Emily, where he doubted. Six years later, he was still dreaming about the consequences. He had almost lost everything, and it had all been his fault. He had doubted her. When he found out that she really was pregnant, when she had not remembered what he did, and he got a second chance, he had promised himself that he would never doubt her again. No matter what.

"I want to do a paternity test." Daniel looked up. There had been no preamble. No 'hi,' or 'how was your day?' She had just come in and dropped this bomb.

Daniel put his magazine down and stood. "What-?"

"I've been thinking and … I know that he sounded crazy. That guy who came by the other day. I keep thinking he couldn't be telling the truth, that we were in love, that it's his baby, but …" She trailed off, "You are such a sweet guy, Daniel. And I so want this to be your baby. But I don't know who I am. And I need to. I need to be sure, because if …" she shuddered. Daniel came up and wrapped her in a hug.

"It's okay." He said, stroking her hair, "Emily. You don't have to do this. I believe you. I believe that this is our baby."

"But how can I believe that if I don't even know who I am?"

Daniel nodded, "Okay. Okay. We'll take the test. But … I just need you to know that I trust you. Okay?" he held her face, pleading with her to understand. He had doubted her once, and he almost lost her. He would never doubt her again.

She nodded, "Thank you for understanding Daniel."

"Hey." Daniel turned, coming out of the memory. Emily looked at him curiously, "What are you doing up?"

"Just … thinking."

"About?" She asked, coming closer, wrapping her arms around him from the back.

"You. Paige." He felt her nod, "You remember when you asked me to do that paternity test?"

She stepped back, "What would make you think of that?"

He smiled, "I'm just … I'm just so grateful that Paige is my daughter. "

"You said you never doubted-"

"I didn't." Daniel said, quickly, "I'm just so grateful." He felt her nod again, "I'm grateful for you and Paige every single day. I need you to know that."

"I do." She said, letting him go. She gave him a quick kiss, smiling, "Come back to bed."

"I'll be there in a minute." He said, pecking her lips.

She smiled, shaking her head. He watched her go back to there bed. You will not lose her. He told himself. Now he just needed to believe it.

Charlotte was surprised to see Paige awake. The little girl was a ball of energy, true, but she was also rather obedient. Normally, when Emily or Daniel put her to bed, she stayed there. Maybe if she couldn't sleep she would get up and read, but coming downstairs seemed very out of character.

"Hey Munchkin." Charlotte said, trying not to startle the little girl. Paige seemed deep in thought, or at least, as deep in thought as a five year old can be.

"Hello Aunt Charlotte." She said, politely.

"Wanna tell me why you aren't in bed?"

Paige sighed. Charlotte had never heard her sigh before. She was such a happy kid, and sighs were so full of melancholy. "You know Carl?" Charlotte nodded. Of course, they both knew she knew Carl, but it seemed like Paige wanted to ease into this. "His mommy is dead."

"Oh." Charlotte, of course, knew this too. In fact, Carl's mommy had been her half-sister. Still, she had not been expecting this conversation, especially not at two in the morning.

"It just makes me sad for him." Paige continued, "I don't know how to help."

Charlotte nodded, trying to think of what to say. Finally, she settled on something, "Did you know I never knew my daddy?" She asked.

Paige shook her head, "I thought Grandpa Grayson was your daddy."

Charlotte smiled. Grandpa Grayson. It was a strange way to think of her father, but it was what Conrad had wanted to be called. "Grandpa Grayson raised me, but he wasn't my daddy. My daddy died before I had the chance to meet him." It was, of course, far more complicated than that, but Charlotte couldn't go into that with Paige right now. Maybe when the girl was a little older, but right now, it would just be too much for her.

"That's sad." Paige said.

Charlotte nodded, "I wish I could have gotten to know him, but I never got that chance. And it hurts, knowing that I'll never know my father. But you know how I get through it?" Paige shook her head, "I remind myself that I have people who love me, who are there for me, and who make me smile. I have your parents, and Javier, and you, of course." Paige smiled, "You may not be able to bring Carl's mommy back, but you can be his friend. You can be there for him, and be one of the people in his life to make him smile. Because, believe it or not, sometimes, that's enough."

The little girl gave her Aunt a big hug, "Thank you Aunt Charlotte."

"You're welcome Munchkin."

"New meat came through today." A voice said next to her. She didn't look up. New meat didn't interest her. They were all the same. Gray-faced criminals just like her. It really didn't matter who they were beyond that. Besides, once they heard her name, her last name, their opinion of her would be pretty much set. It always was. She didn't know the name of the girl next to her, the girl who had told her of the "new meat." She never remembered any of their names. Getting attached to people in the foster system was stupid. Getting attached to people in Juvie was suicidal.

Bored, she headed back to her room. She tried the door, but it was jammed. Annoyed, she put pressure on it, but it wouldn't give. There was clearly something blocking the path. She called out to her roommate, but got no response. The bitch was trying to lock her out. That was not okay. She remembered what the warden had said. She needed to be smart. However, she also needed in her room. She considered getting help, but that would be admitting defeat, which she refused to do. Besides, who in here would care enough to help her? Getting help made no sense, but she needed to get something. She would need something stronger than her own bodyweight to budge the door. Before she had the chance to turn, she heard something from behind the door. It sounded furniture squeaking against the floor. Then, the door opened. A man stood there. She did not recognize him, and he did not seem to recognize her. He walked past her without a backwards glance. Her bitch of a roommate was sitting on the bed. She was trying to look casual, like nothing in the world bothered her, but she wasn't quite pulling it off. Clearly, something was wrong.

"Bed against the door? Really?"

Her roommate scoffed, "It seemed less subtle than a sock."

Now it was her turn to scoff, "Don't tell me you're dumb enough to start a relationship with someone in this hellhole?"

"Who said anything about a relationship? Sex is just sex. It's not like guys are good for much else."

She shook her head. It was dumb to think differently. She knew it was. Her own experiences with the opposite sex weren't exactly stellar.

Except one.

Curly brown hairy, laughter, dimples. He'd probably forgotten all about her by now. No, he wouldn't, the voice in her head said firmly. Everything she had believed to be true had been proven false. Everyone she'd ever trusted had betrayed her. Still, somehow, she still believed in him. Maybe she was the dumb one. Still, in another life, a life where her world hadn't fallen apart all those years ago, she could be with him right now. How would he look all grown up? How would he look at her, if he ever saw what she had become?

"Hey, freak, stop staring off into space like a zombie and turn off the lights. I tired myself out."

"I've never had sex." She said. The warden had been right. She needed an ally. But getting somebody to trust you wasn't simple. Sympathy would be viewed as pity and resented. Kindness would be viewed as a trick. Vulnerability however, that could get her somewhere. At least if she played it right.

Her roommate raised an eyebrow at her in astonishment, "Seriously? What's wrong with you?" She just shrugged and flicked the light before getting under the covers. They lay there in the dark for a few minutes, "That wasn't you coming onto me was it? Because I don't swing that way." She didn't answer. Next thing she knew, the light room was bright again.

"I'm trying to sleep." She said.

"I asked you a question."

"I don't swing that way either. Relax. I don't want to jump you." The girl continued to stare at her, "Can you shut the light now?"

"Why tell me then? Trying to save me from the sin or something? Because I hardly think the devil's daughter-"

"It just came out in the moment." She said, trying not to get angry at what her roommate had said. "I hardly think you need saving."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You can clearly take care of yourself. And morality is a lie. The world is full of bitches and bastards. That's the only kind of person any of us can be."

"Amen to that." Her roommate said, finally shutting off the light. After a minute, she spoke again, "So why haven't you?"

"I've never met anyone who wanted me."

There was a pause, "You're lucky. My foster father wanted me too much. But in here, it's always my choice. I made sure of that. It'll never be anyone else's choice again."

"Foster father's suck worse than real ones." She responded after a minute, measuring her words carefully.

"I wouldn't mind having a real one."

Emily jerked awake, blinking rapidly, trying to clear her head. That was new. She had had fragments of course, things that didn't make sense. Nothing like that though. That dream had been a real, honest to goodness memory, coming back from somewhere deep inside her subconscious. It must have been the letters. She had read them before bed, and then again when she woke up in the middle of the night. Daniel had fallen back to sleep, but she had had some trouble. So she had read more of the letters. She had read and reread them, over and over until she dozed off.

The girl in her dream, her roommate, must have been Amanda. It had to have been. They didn't exactly seem close though. Something must have happened between then and when she wrote the letters.

She turned to shake Daniel awake and tell him her news, but he wasn't there. He left a note saying he was taking Charlotte and Paige out for breakfast, and he had not wanted to wake her. He told her he loved her and he would be back soon. All right. That was fair. But she needed to talk about this now. She did not know how long he would be gone, and she did not want to wait. Quickly, she got dressed and headed to her car.

"I think this was a good idea." Charlotte said after the waitress seated them, "Get out of the house, away from all the wedding mania. Clear our heads a bit."

Daniel nodded, "Exactly. Everybody know what they want?"

"Pancakes!" Paige said.

Charlotte chuckled, "You didn't even look at the menu."

Paige gave an impish grin.

A pleasant looking woman with blonde pigtails came over, a pad and pen in her hand, "What can I get you?" she asked smiling.

Daniel smiled at his daughter, "How about three humungous stacks of your best blueberry pancakes?"

"Actually," Charlotte interrupted, "Can you make that two stacks and one egg white omelet? Some of us have wedding dresses to fit into by the end of the month."

Daniel laughed, "Fair enough, although with your metabolism, I don't think it's ever been a problem. You've barely gained a pound your whole life."

Charlotte's smile dropped slightly. She tried not to show it, but Daniel caught on. He made a note to talk to her in private later. Right now, with Paige around, the most he could do was send her a kind smile. She returned it, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Jack smiled at her when he opened the door. Every time he saw her, he always had a smile. A part of her thought, maybe those smiles were special. Maybe they were reserved just for her. It was a silly thought.

"This is a nice surprise." He said, holding the door open for her. She followed him inside, "Would you like something to eat or drink?"

"I'm all right." She said, "Is Carl around?"

"Actually, he's with his Uncle Nolan today." Emily smiled. Carl was adorable, but she really wanted to talk about grown-up things with Jack. His not being there made things so much easier, "Why?"

"We never got to talk. About those letters."

Jack shifted nervously, rubbing at his face a little, "Yeah, like I said, I'm sorry if I caused issues with-"

"That's not what I meant." Emily said. It came out a little brisker than she intended, so she offered Jack an apologetic smile, "I've just … I've read over them, and I have some questions. I was hoping you could answer them?"

Jack smiled, "I'll do what I can." He led her over to the table, and pulled out a chair for her, before taking a seat next to her. Then, he turned his chair to face her and waited for her to speak.

Emily was quiet for a minute. She had so many questions she didn't know where to begin. Maybe she should start with the simplest of fact, "So, Amanda and I were friends?" Jack nodded, "How come you knew? I mean, Daniel said I never told him, and I can't figure out-"

"You never told me either, if it makes you feel any better." Emily looked at him curiously, "After my wife died, I found those letters among her things. I confronted you, and you admitted … I was so angry at you for lying, for hiding things from me. The bizarre thing is, I was pushing you away when I probably needed you most of all. Other than me, you were the only one who loved her. And you knew things about her she had never confided in me." Jack shook his head and looked down, his expression a mixture of sadness, regret, and a little bit of shame, "You could have been there for me in a way nobody else could, and I knew you were hurting too. We needed each other, and I was so angry, I just…"

Without thinking, Emily reached out and placed her hand on his. She saw his lips turn up slightly, and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. Slowly, his thumb made it's way up over her own, intertwining with it. He looked up, meeting her eyes, and her breath hitched slightly. Slowly, she retracted her hand. She tried to speak, but something stopped her. Swallowing, she tried again, "I … Daniel keeps saying some things are best left in the past." She thought he flinched slightly when she said Daniel's name, but that was probably her being paranoid.

"And … and do you believe that?" It seemed whatever had caused her to have to swallow had affected him as well. There was something raw about his voice.

She shook her head, trying to ignore the way the rawness in his voice made her head spin, "Not always. But I don't think you should spend you're life feeling guilty for old mistakes. You can't change the past, and you seemed to have learned from it. I may not remember, but I don't think I would blame you for being angry after your wife was murdered."

Jack nodded, "So, um, you had questions?"

He was trying to change the subject. Was he uncomfortable? She tried to think back to her questions, get back to where her mind had been before that … moment. "I, uh, I had a dream about her." Jack's eyes widened, "I mean, I've had dreams before, about my life. Usually they're just a mix of images and noises that don't make any sense. I don't know. Maybe it was those letters, but …" Jack gave her an encouraging smile. She found herself blushing, though she wasn't sure why. "We were in Juvie, and we didn't seem to get along very well. I guess that must have changed?"

She looked up at him, and he gave her a sad smile, "Unfortunately, you never really shared much about that. Neither did she. What I know of your Juvie experience pretty much amounts to what was in those letters."

Emily tried not to feel disappointed, "She called me the devil's daughter." Something lit up in Jack's eyes, but he tried to hide it. Emily decided to press on, "In those letters, I seemed so angry at my parents, but Daniel said they died in a car accident, and that I loved them, so why would I be so angry? And why would knowing whose daughter I was effect how people saw me?" Jack didn't answer, and Emily was starting to get frustrated, "Are you going to say anything?"

He nodded, "I'm just trying to figure out what to say."

She stood up and glared at him. Raising her voice, she said, "The truth would be nice. I know you know something; I can see it in your eyes. Why are you holding back?" She knew she sounded desperate, and perhaps a little angry, but she felt she had a right.

Jack stood as well, "I … look, if I were to tell you everything, it wouldn't make any sense. You wouldn't understand it, and you probably wouldn't believe me." He walked closer to her, and she backed up a little, causing him to look hurt. She didn't want to hurt him, but she needed answers, and she didn't want him getting close and confusing her so much that she dropped this. She was not going to drop this. The question of why she thought him getting close would confuse her was not one she was willing to ask herself right now. "I want to help you. I want you to remember. But it's all so complicated, your past … there are some things you won't like, and I don't want to scare you away."

Emily shook her head, "Jack, my first memory is waking up in a hospital, married to a man I didn't know, pregnant with a child I could not remember conceiving, dying of a bullet wound inflicted upon me by my mother-in-law. I've been kidnapped and attacked, and most of that happened when I had less life experience than a one-year-old. I don't scare easily."

To Emily's surprise, Jack laughed, "You really are the bravest, strongest, sometimes scariest person I know. I guess some things never change."

In spite of herself, Emily laughed too, though she wasn't really sure why. Maybe it was just to ease some of the tension. In any case, she calmed down quickly, "Jack, I need you to be honest with me. I need you to tell me things I can't remember."

Jack gave her a sad smile, "I'll be honest with you, but I can't … I want to help you remember, but I can't just fill in the blank spaces. The memories need to come back on their own. I want to help, you have no idea, but-"

"So help. Tell me … tell me about my parents."

Jack shook his head, and Emily turned to leave, "You two loved the beach." She turned around to see Jack had sat back down, that he was staring at the floor. She made her way back to the chair across from him. "You and your dad. You loved the beach, playing in the sand. You loved burying him under piles of sand with only his head showing, and he would let you because he loved you so, so much." Jack looked up at her, "You loved to laugh together. He was full of energy and spirit, and you were the same way. And you loved each other. I have never, in my life, met a daughter who loved her father as much as you loved yours. Long after he was gone, he was still your world."

Emily shook her head, "You talk about it like you knew him, like you knew me back then," Jack dodged her gaze. Strange, but she wouldn't press about that, not yet. "And my mother?"

"You, uh, weren't as close. But I think you did love her, and she loved you, in her own way."

"What do you mean?"

"She had a, uh, mental illness. I think she loved you, but it was difficult for her."

Emily nodded, "Is that why I was so angry?"

Jack shook his head, "No, that was about something else." Emily raised an eyebrow at him, "People had … people had lied to you about your father, made you believe things … made you believe he didn't love you, and that he wasn't a good man." He met her eyes again, grabbing both her hands in his, "He did love you, and he was a good man. Regardless of what else you think, you need to know that. You figured it out eventually, and you always felt guilty for doubting him." There was a certain desperation in Jack's eyes, an intensity that Emily couldn't look away from, "Believe me in this, please. He was a good man, and he loved you more than life itself."

"Why?" she struggled to get out, her throat feeling dry, "Why is it so important to you?"

"Because I know how important it was to you, how important he was to you. And I wouldn't want any memories from when you were an angry teenager to make you doubt one of the most important relationships in your life."

It was all too much, too intense. Emily's head was spinning. She nodded, gently disconnected her hands from Jack's, and stood. "I, uh, I should probably get going. There's still lots to do before the wedding, and I don't want Daniel to worry."

Jack nodded, standing as well, "You can stop by any time. I'm sorry if I wasn't much help, but-"

"No, you … you were. Really. I just … I have to go."

"Come play with me." Carl said, running over to Nolan. He had been kicking a ball around for the past ten minutes. Now, it appeared he had tired of it.

"Okay, what do we know about Uncle Nolan and sports?" Nolan asked, not unkindly.

"It's not sports; it's just kicking a ball around. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothings wrong with it, but when I was your age, balls kicked in my direction were usually meant as weapons, and I prefer to keep my distance."

It struck Nolan that if Carl was a little older, and not his nephew, Nolan might have made a joke about his preference for another kind of game involving balls. Nolan made no secret of his bisexuality, and he thought himself rather witty on all subjects. However, Carl was eight and Jack's son. He doubted his best friend would appreciate such a comment.

"It's boring kicking it around by myself. Can't we go see if Paige is home?"

"Don't tell me your bored of your Uncle Nolan." Nolan teased.

Carl shrugged and Nolan mimed being hit in the chest, causing Carl to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Hey, Uncle Nolan, can I ask you something?" Nolan nodded. Carl settled on the grass next to him. He sat cross-legged, picked up a piece of grass and started playing with it. Then, he looked up at Nolan and asked, "Is it possible for somebody to have two dads?"

Nolan didn't know what to say to that. Of course it was possible. Nolan very well might find himself two be one of two fathers some day in the future. However, the issue seemed like something Jack would want to address himself. Aside from that, the whole thing seemed kind of out of left field. "Why do you ask?" Answer a question with a question. It was the best Nolan could do. Besides, if he understood the why, it might help him answer.

"It's just, Paige's mommy makes Daddy really happy. But Paige already has a dad. And I guess I was wondering …" he trailed off, seemingly unsure where to go from there, "I mean, if you can have two dads, then they could stay with us. We could all be a family."

Nolan sighed. It wasn't what he was afraid of, and thank god for that, but it was still so complicated. He felt for the kid. He felt for both kids really. With Emily and her daughter, Jack and Carl, someone was going to get hurt, and much as Nolan wished the only one to get hurt would be Daniel, life was rarely that kind. "Kid, why don't you answer a question for me first, okay?" Carl nodded, "Am I your dad's brother?" Carl shook his head, looking at Nolan curiously, "Am I related to him or you by blood?" Carl shook his head again, "But are we family? Am I not your Uncle Nolan?" Carl laughed. "I can't hear you."

"We're family."

"Not all families are conventional, but just because Paige and her mom have a family doesn't mean they can't become a part of yours. Family just means people who love each other, look out for each other, are there for each other. Okay?"

Carl nodded, laughing again. "Play ball with each other?" He added, trying to sound innocent.

"Nice try kid. You go kick that thing around. I'll watch like a good uncle should."

When Emily got back to the Manor, she took out a vacuum and started cleaning. It was a nervous habit. Daniel told her she always used to clean when she couldn't sleep. Of course, it was daytime, but Emily needed to clear her head. Cleaning seemed as good a use of her time and nervous energy as anything else.

It was a bigger house than she was used to, but she still felt like she had made significant progress by the time she heard the front door. She started to wind up the vacuum just as Paige came running up to her and leapt into her arms.

"Hey Munchkin. How was brunch?"

"Weird. I think Aunt Charlotte's upset. It's okay; Daddy's talking to her about it."

'"He told you that?" Emily asked, surprised at her husbands candor with their six-year-old.

"No, he just told me to go upstairs so they could have grownup talk, but I could tell she was upset. Daddy's smart. He'll fix it."

Emily nodded, "I'm sure he will. But what will you and I do while daddy's busy?"

Paige looked around. Spotting the vacuum, she said, "Let's play Cinderella. You can be the evil stepmother."

Emily gave a smile, which then turned into an evil cackle, "Child, this hallway is filthy. No balls for you."

Paige pretended to weep, "Give me any task. I don't care how hard, but if I do it, I can go?"

Emily pursed her lips in thought, "Very well, I have just the thing."

"All right Char, come on, what's up?"

Charlotte sighed. Daniel was right. She needed to talk about what was bothering her. And she wanted to. She just, didn't want to at the same time. Maybe saying it aloud would just make it too real. She didn't know. But she had to talk about it, and she trusted her brother. Slowly, she slid onto the couch. He took a seat beside her.

"When we were in the restaurant, what you said about how I've never … I just, I watch you and Paige and Emily. You're a family, an amazing family, and I want that so much. Me, Javier, and a little girl or boy."

"Char, that's great." Daniel said, giving her a confused smile, "So what's the problem?"

"It's just, I was supposed to have that once. I was pregnant. And, I mean, the timing was wrong, I was too young, and Declan wasn't … but still, losing that baby." Charlotte leaned down, taking a big gasp of air. She felt like maybe she wanted to cry. Her chest was all constricted, somewhere between pain and fear, but no tears came. "I never even made it past the first trimester. I never gained a pound. I never-" she took another breath, trying to get the air to her lungs. Daniel started rubbing her back, "I thought … I thought it was because of what happened to Declan, the grief, and the," she gasped again, "the guilt, but what if … what if it's me? What if there's something wrong with me? What if I can't-?"

She couldn't talk anymore. She kept taking big gulps of air, but it just wasn't making its way to her lungs somehow. She felt Daniel pull her into a hug, her him make soothing shushing noises as he rubbed circles on her back. She appreciated the sentiment, but right now, she needed air. She pushed Daniel back and ran to the door. Throwing it open, she ran outside, not bothering to put on shoes. She felt the cold night air hit her face, and she tried to gulp it up. She knelt down, putting her hands on her knees. Daniel followed her out and put his hand on her back.

"Char, I think you're having a panic attack." His voice sounded so far away, "It's okay. Emily gets these sometimes. I can help you. I need you to focus on my voice. Can you do that?"

Charlotte just kept gasping,

"Can you do that, Char? Focus on my voice, okay? Just focus on the sound of my voice."

It still felt like it was coming from far away, but she knew it was Daniel, and she understood what he was saying. Slowly, she nodded.

"Okay, good. Now, I need you to close you mouth, and take a deep breath in threw your nose. I'm going to count to four, and I don't want you to stop breathing in until I get to four, okay? Do you understand?" Charlotte nodded again, "Okay, one, two, three, four." Charlotte did as she was told, "Good, now I need you to hold your breath until I'm done counting. Just focus on the numbers. One, two, three, four. Okay, good, now I want you to breath out through your mouth, can you do that?"

Charlotte nodded again, focusing on Daniel's voice and the counting. She followed his lead for a while, breathing in and out as he rubbed circles on her back.

After a while, she started to feel like she could breathe again.

Daniel led her back inside.

"I'm so sorry Danny, I don't know what-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's fine, all right. No need to apologize. I just want you to be okay."

Charlotte nodded, "I guess the stress of the wedding, and then, everything else …"

"It's going to be okay Char."

Charlotte shook her head, "I'm not so sure. You know what they say about sins of the father? Well, I have three parents to choose from. One was a terrorist, one is responsible for the death of Declan, and one nearly killed Emily."

"And you're nothing like any of them."

"But I've already lost one baby. What if the universe doesn't want me to bring another child into this world? What if this is the way it evens everything out?"

"I have a daughter and Amanda Clarke had a son. And neither of us were ever half as good as you are Char. I know losing Declan and then the baby was hard, but you and Javier, you're going to be just fine."

"But how can I be sure?"

Daniel shook his head, "You can't. But I think you guys'll be okay."

"Daniel, what if there really is something wrong with me? What if I can't bring a child to term?"

Daniel thought for a minute, "Well, if it'll make you feel better, you could go get checked out by a doctor. But I'm sure he or she will tell you that you're going to be just fine."

"Would… would you and Emily come with me? To the doctor, I mean?"

Daniel nodded, placing a kiss on his sister's forehead, "Of course."

Author's Note: So, what did we think? I know I kind of ask that after every chapter, but I think it's a legitimate question that holds up.

I wanted to focus a little on Daniel and why he was acting how he was last chapter. I know I sort of explained in the author's note, but that's not really the same as showing it in the story. It's hard for him, because he knows there are holes in who she is and things she's told him, but he's scared to doubt her because of what happened last time he did. I thought it was important that it was Emily who wanted the paternity test done, not Daniel. After what had just happened, demanding, or even suggesting she takes a test would be not learning from his mistake at all. He had just shot her, and he was trying so hard to make it up in every possible way. She, on the other hand, did not know who she was, and she's getting conflicting stories from Daniel and Aiden. It's some of the same uncertainty that she's struggling with now, except she has less to go on, because she doesn't really know Daniel any better than she knows Aiden, or herself for that matter.

Now, we have Emily's dream. She is starting to remember some things. It's not a lot, just a moment with Fauxmanda from Juvie, and I had to make sure not to have either of their names surface in the memory because that would have opened another can of worms. Originally, the guy was assaulting Fauxmanda and Emily would step in, but that just didn't fit somehow. It's sort of supposed to be the first step in their developing friendship/sisterhood. I may do more; I do not know.

Sorry there were no more Aiden memories, but those will come.

I also wanted to address the family feels issue with Carl and Paige. Paige is only six, but she's always had this happy family, and seeing someone who she likes not have that would make her sad. As for Carl, he's sort of seeing this shot at a new addition with Paige and Emily, but he's eight, he's not stupid. We think they're so young, and they are, but they're not as young as we think they are, especially in this day and age. He could do the math of Paige already having a dad and wonder about what that meant for his little family fantasy. I also kind of wanted an Uncle Nolan moment because, Uncle Nolan!

I wanted to address the issue of Charlotte and how her history with Declan and the miscarriage would affect her going forward. They sort of skipped over the miscarriage in the show, which I get, but I don't think it's something you just get over, especially when the baby's father, who you loved, died because of your father and you blamed yourself for the whole thing. I also sort of want to make a nod to Declan, because I loved him and Charlotte. I wish they could be together in this story but the timing makes it impossible, so I settled for Javier. I do like them, just not as much as her and Declan. I actually have a Demily story in the works that has her and Declan together, but who knows how long until I post it. Anyway, I wanted to address these issues. I also wanted to keep Charlotte at the forefront of the storyline. I like her and do not want her falling to the background. I mean, her wedding was the catalyst for Emily and Daniel's return in the first place, so she's got to be kind of important.

So, the Jemily scene. First off, I always thought it was dumb of Jack to cut Emily out when he found out how close her and Fauxmanda were. I mean, I get why he did it; he felt betrayed, and he was lashing out. Still, if you lost someone, and nobody else in your life was really very close to them, and then you found out a friend of yours had known them and loved them in this intimate, familial way, one would think you would turn to that person and try to take comfort in them because you two are the only two going through this. I'm not mad at Jack for his behavior; I get it. I just think therapeutically, it would have been smart to turn to Emily.

It felt right to have Emily instinctively try to comfort Jack. Then, of course, there is the palpable tension, and the rawness as one reviewer said (thank you again for that word, it fits very well). Those things have always been so strong with Jemily, because there is so much history, but so much they haven't done, and it's like this pulse. They have so many moments where you're holding your breath waiting for something and you can hear can hear the pulse loud in your eardrums and feel it on your wrist and your just waiting and nothing ever happens but you walk away feeling like something monumental went down even though all they did was talk and maybe barely touch each other's hands but somehow it's more than that. Anyway, that's how the scenes feel to me and I hope I captured it well, because I want to get the feeling of "this is a Jemily scene" across. Feel free to grade me.

Oh, quick question, is Juvie supposed to be capital or lowercase? Also, why does spell-check say it is not a word?

Wow, that was a really long author's note. Sorry. I guess I had a lot to say about this chapter. I hope you have a lot to say too, hopefully positive things, but feel free to be honest.

P.S. For Those Who Asked For It (Patymr21), Here Are The Original Versions Of The Letters. They are not that different, but the blanks are filled in.

"Dear Emily,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write to you. I know months can feel like years in there. Maybe you thought I'd forgotten you, but I promise you, I haven't. Before you know it, you'll be out too. I'll come for you on that day.

I've recently come into some money, it's a long story. It was left by my father, probably to make up for everything now that he's dead. Honestly, it makes me sick to even consider accepting it. Money doesn't make up for years of neglect. Love cannot be bought. You and I both know how rare it is, and most of the time, it isn't real. My family is dead. It's better that way. I don't want them. I have you, and that's all I need. When you get out, we'll conquer the world together. They won't know what hit them.

I don't know if it's worth it, being out here like this. I'm still David Clarke's daughter, and nothing can change that. In there, we had each other, and we will again.

I know this letter wasn't exactly full of the hope you were looking for, but I'm running a little short these days. I don't want to pretend with you. I'll try to be more positive in my next letter. I WILL keep writing.

Stay strong. It's almost over.

~ Amanda"

"Dear Emily,

Have you ever been stalked? That's what I feel like right now. It's different being on the outside. There are just so many people. I'd forgotten.

There is one in particular who won't leave me alone. Price I pay, I suppose, for being who I am. He keeps saying he wants to help me. I've certainly heard that before. Therapists. Social workers. Foster parents. People in general. They're all the same. I guess I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Its just there isn't anyone else.

I said this letter would be positive, didn't I? Well, I've had some fun since getting out. I've gone to some clubs that don't card, and I have to say, I don't mind them. The music is fast, and the guys are hot, if somewhat gropy. There's nothing quite like flipping some asshole for getting fresh without having to worry about the warden. Not that I always flip them. Sometimes I fuck them. That's fun too.

There have been some oh-so naive boys who challenged me at the bar, but I drank them under the table. Remember when we used to play with the girls down the hall? They thought they could get us wasted and get us in trouble. Those girls had no more business challenging us then these idiots did. I suppose I shook thank you. I knew how to hold my liquor before we met, but you brought me to a whole new level. I bet I could beat you now. We'll have to remember to go drinking the day you get out. I cannot wait to smoke your ass.

~ Amanda"

"Dear Emily

I considered starting this letter with Happy New Year, but we both no, it won't be. If it's any consolation, my New Year sucked.

It may be a while before I can write again, but pretty soon I won't have to. The time is coming for you to get out, and I'm counting the days. I'll try to write again, but if I can't, just know, I will be there. I promise you Emily, I WILL COME FOR YOU.

Stay strong, and never let them see anything less.

~ Amanda"