"Daddy! Daddy!"
They both wake up to the scared voice of Sammy panicking just as Lizzy had feared. She knew falling asleep next to her boy after not seeing her for so long could be a bad idea. It was just too hard to peel herself away from him once she had him in her arms.
"Daddy!" Sammy shouts again, pushing away from Lizzy with fear.
"Hey, hey," Dean calls out gently to his boy, leaning up on his elbow to peek over Lizzy and let his boy have a clear view of him to ensure everything is alight. "Relax, Sammy. I'm right here."
"Daddy?" Sammy sits up and backs himself up a bit, putting a little space between him and the stranger in his bed. His big green eyes look so scared, so surprised in a very bad way, that Lizzy totally regrets napping with him like this.
"Hi, Sammy," Lizzy says in her usual sweet, calm voice she's always used with him. "It's okay, baby. You're okay."
Sammy just looks at his dad over the woman in his bed and gives him a frightened look.
"Alright, come 'ere," Dean says to him and sits tall. He reaches both arms over Lizzy and Sammy dives for him. Once he pulls his son into his lap so that they're both still facing Lizzy, his arms around Sammy's middle protectively, Dean lets out a small, comforting laugh to show he's not scared at all. "Kiddo, there's nothing to be scared of, okay?"
Dean can feel Sammy's back press harder into his front.
"Do you remember why we're here?" Dean asks him. Sammy nods. "What did I tell you?"
"We wait for mommy," Sammy says, his shy eyes on Lizzy as he curls into his dad.
The first full sentence out of his mouth and Lizzy has to do everything she possibly can not to cry. He's speaking in sentences. When she left she was 'ma'. And now… she's mommy.
"That's right. We were waiting for mommy to get here," Dean says, winking at Lizzy to let her know he has this and everything is fine. "And guess what, buddy? She's here."
Sammy gives his dad a wide eyed look at that before turning to look at Lizzy. He gets it. He knows who she is now. That's his mommy.
"Sammy, say hi to mommy," Dean tells him, knowing this has to be a slow and easy process for him. Over the year Sammy's grown so much and he and Dean have become thick as thieves. They are a pair and nothing can break them… but he also knows how hard it'll be to change it up and make this a trio, at least for the child.
"Hi," he says quietly, his index finger in his mouth as he stares at Lizzy with sheer uncertainty.
"Hi, sweetheart," Lizzy answers back, her voice choked up. "Oh, Sammy. I missed you so much. I'm sorry I scared you, baby."
He doesn't say anything in return, just looks at his mom with something timid.
Lizzy just glances nervously up at Dean when she's at a loss as to what to do next.
"You done working?" Sammy quietly asks her, finger still in his mouth.
"Hey, hand out of your mouth," Dean says lightly and pulls his hand away.
"Working?" Lizzy asks both boys at the same time.
"Daddy said you working and you done working now," Sammy explains as best he can, now pulling at his sock after no longer being allowed to have his finger in his mouth.
"Oh," Lizzy nods, taking it for what it is. That must be Dean's explanation for her absence. "Yeah. I was doing a pretty big job. I was working. But now I'm done working and I am very ready to stay with my boys forever."
She smiles sweetly at Sammy and he gives a tentative smile back.
"How about this," Dean starts when he can see they need to move around, maybe find an activity they can all do to get Sammy warmed up. "It's getting late. I'm starving. You starving?" he asks Sammy, ducking his head to look at him.
Sammy nods his head hard, smiling wide.
"Yeah, when are you not," Dean comments with a small huff of a laugh. He then looks at Lizzy. "You hungry?"
"Very," Lizzy admits, not having eaten much in her haste to do everything she had to in order to get back to her family as quickly as possible.
"Then we should go make mommy dinner, welcome her home right," Dean grins at her, his heart bursting with how utterly out of his mind he is to have her back now. He then peers back down to Sammy. "Wanna make mommy dinner?"
"Pizza!" Sammy cheers a bit with the idea.
"We did pizza, like, two nights ago," Dean reminds him.
"Pizza!" Sammy repeats, not letting it go.
"Dude…."
"Dean?" Lizzy calls out to him. He turns his attention to her. "I'd love some pizza."
Dean just smiles. "Guess I'm out numbered then. Okay, pizza it is. Let's go."
Sammy scrambles around in Dean's lap and pulls his arms around his neck as Dean stands up, the whole thing so second nature it makes it clear to Lizzy just how close her boys are. They're best friends. She couldn't be happier for that… except for how much of a third wheel it makes her feel. She's so out of their loop that she can tell it's going to be awkward for a very long time.
"No daddy! No onion!" Sammy suddenly shouts as he tries to place his hands over the half made pizza on the table to block it from Dean. "Yuck!"
Lizzy's face lights up as she grins. She's learning so much so quickly. Sammy hate onions and peppers, not unlike his Uncle Sam when he was a kid. He loves milk, drinks the stuff all day. When Dean puts on Lizzy's old iPod and plays her classic rock mix, Sammy smiles with AC/DC and anything with a hard beat. And his eyes light up every single time he's around his father, looking up to him like the hero he knows he is.
"You ate onions last time," Dean calmly rebuts, knowing he snuck onions onto his son's pizza and Sammy never noticed. He does that now and then, sneaks food Sammy claims to hate into his rotation.
"No didn't! Yuck, daddy!" Sammy yells, his hands in the shredded cheese as he keeps blocking his dad.
"Alright, alright!" Dean gives up, pulling his handful of chopped onions away from Sammy's pizza. Dean whipped up some instant pizza dough for them and separated a small bit to make into a personal Sammy pizza since he doesn't like much on is. "More for me and mommy. We like onions, right mommy?"
Lizzy looks to Dean and grins at him. He's been trying so hard, keeping her integrated into the conversation and making her a part of their night. Sammy will get to know his mom and fast if Dean has anything to do with it.
"Yeah, I like onions, daddy," she smirks and Dean winks at her for calling him that.
"You crazy people," Sammy says, his little open palm pressed to his forehead, getting red sauce into his hair.
"Hey, watch the name calling, tough guy," Dean calls him out, laughing at the dramatics of his boy. He's a lot like Lizzy in that way, over-the-top with his reactions.
"You tough guy," Sammy mutters under his breath, the terrible comeback all the influence of his dad.
"Wow… Sammy, you are a lot like your daddy, you know that?" Lizzy grins at him with the lame comeback, watching him make his pizza with sheer concentration. The cheese has to be evenly on the pizza.
"Me know," Sammy says to her, peeking at her quickly before reaching over the table for the pile of pepperoni Dean set out.
"I know," Dean corrects as he slides the pepperoni closer for him. Sammy grabs some.
"You know, daddy?" Sammy looks up at Dean with confusion.
"No… you're supposed to say I know," he tries to explain, knowing he might be failing.
"You know?" Sammy asks again, not getting it.
"Next he's gonna ask who's on first," Lizzy laughs lightly as she grabs some pepperoni to help Sammy. Dean gets a laugh out of her.
"Never mind, kiddo. Just finish your pizza," Dean points to his personal pie before getting back to loading up on his and Lizzy's.
"Can I help you out, Sammy?" Lizzy tries, placing a single pepperoni slice onto the smaller pizza.
"No! I do it!" Sammy immediately yells, his face going angry.
Lizzy pauses right there, wide eyes on her boy. It hurts. Hearing so harshly that her own son doesn't want her help hurts. It was a quick outburst, probably not meant to be so mean, but it still freaking hurts.
"Hey!" Dean yells instantly, looking at his son with his patented angry parent face. "You don't talk like that!"
"I wanna do it, daddy," Sammy grits through his teeth, still mad.
"No kidding," Dean caustically responds. "And that's fine. But you need to be nice about it. There's no need to yell and get mad when someone wants to help out."
"I big guy," Sammy says quietly, knowing he's in trouble.
"Yes, you're a big guy now and you can do things on your own, but big guys don't go around yelling at people like that. Big guys are nice guys, okay?"
Sammy doesn't answer, just looks down at his pizza.
"Okay?" Dean repeats, making it clear he wants an answer.
"Okay, daddy," Sammy says in a small tone.
"Now you need to apologize to mommy. I'm sure she feels very sad that you just yelled at her for no reason."
Sammy's eyes look up at Lizzy across the table with something shy and remorseful. "Sorry, mommy."
Lizzy smiles sadly. "Thank you for apologizing. That was very good of you, Sammy. It's okay."
Sammy looks away, uncomfortable. "I play cars now?"
"Don't you wanna finish your pizza?" Dean asks him. The kid has been so excited to make pizzas before now.
"No," Sammy answers, tone low and sad.
"If I finish it I'm putting onions on it," Dean joking warns, nudging his shoulder.
"I no want onions," Sammy responds in the same depressed tone.
"Then finish up quick and you can go play," Dean stipulates and proceeds to watch his son quickly drop pepperoni all over his pizza as fast as he can.
"I done," Sammy says to his dad.
"Alright, you can go," he tells him as he lifts Sammy up off the chair he's been standing on and puts him down. Sammy takes off for his cars in the living room area as Dean and Lizzy remain at the table.
Lizzy sighs quietly as she watches him sit in the middle of the mess on the floor, grabbing a black car and muttering something about 'daddy's car' to himself.
"L, I'm sorry," Dean apologizes and she looks back at him. He looks so guilty. "I probably should have warned you… he has this whole thing about doing everything by himself these days. He gets seriously stubborn about it."
"Wonder where he gets that from?" Lizzy lifts an eyebrow.
"Both of us," Dean answers quickly. "I just feel bad that he yelled at you."
"Hey, I got to see my husband be an amazing father firsthand. That was something else, Dean. You're good." She grins sadly.
"I'm barely keeping him breathing," Dean grumps right back.
"Bull. You're really good at this," Lizzy points out. "You're patient, calm, you call him on his misbehaving and handle it perfectly… I'm really impressed. And I knew you'd be like this."
Dean just huffs some disbelief, uncomfortable with the compliment, before he goes back to fixing them dinner.
She watches as he works away and she looks back at Sammy playing by himself. "He loves cars."
"Are you surprised?" Dean laughs under his breath.
"Not really," Lizzy smiles wide, turning back to Dean. "Especially considering how much he looks up to you."
"I'm tall," Dean jokes and shrugs it all off.
"Don't brush me off," Lizzy scolds lightly. "You're his best friend."
"He doesn't know anyone his age… except the weirdo next door, Gavin," Dean makes a face. "That kid sucks. I'm kinda glad Sammy doesn't really like him."
Her ears perk up. "Kid next door? You have a house?" she wonders, sitting up taller with eyes like golf balls.
Dean pauses before diving back into pizza making. "Yeah. Uh, after… everything… we all just got out."
Her heart skips a beat with the news. "You're kidding?"
"No," Dean promises, never looking at her. "Sam and Lou returned without you and I… I wasn't good." He licks his lips and composes his thought, only saying what he has to in the moment. "So Sam had an idea. We packed up our shit, got into the cars, and we headed to Kansas."
"Why Kansas?" Lizzy wonders.
"It's smack in the middle of the country," Dean easily answers as he finishes preparing dinner. He picks up the cookie sheet with the pizzas on them and heads for the oven. "Sam said our home was always the lower forty-eight so we went to the center. Sam finagled some financing somehow and we got a house in a town with a couple stoplights and one bar… and we got out. Mostly."
Pressing her hand to her mouth, Lizzy just listens as she hears that they've been living her dream.
"It was nice, you know?" he tells her, putting the food into the oven. When done he stands back up. "It was quiet. And boring. And I was going a little crazy there after a while but… it was what we always said we wanted for him." Dean nods to their son on the floor playing.
Lizzy regains control of her emotions after they start to take over. She takes a deep breath and asks, "Is it all still there?"
Dean flinches almost unperceptively but she knows him and catches it.
"What?" she asks.
"Ah, it's still there," Dean nods, keeping it simple. "The house, the life… still there."
"Can we… can we go back?" Lizzy asks with too much hope. "I mean, just because I'm back… does it have to change anything?"
"I don't know," he answers honestly, picking up the scraps from dinner making and throwing them out, cleaning off the table. "I guess… I mean, just days ago I didn't even know where you were. This whole thing…." He stops to finish what he's doing. Dean then sits down next to her at the clean table, reaching out to place a hand on her knee. With Lou and Sam confused and probably mad at him for storming off, with the lie they told him for so long… does he want to head right back? "Can't we just stay here a little longer? Let Sammy get to know you all over again and… just be the three of us before we head back into that?"
Lizzy wants to say no, they can't do that. She wants to head right for Sam and Lou. She misses them dearly. But Dean makes a good point. Her son barely knows her and more than anything else she just wants her son to know and love her like she knows and loves him more than anything else.
"I miss them," Lizzy admits.
"I know," Dean responds and grips her knee tighter.
"But you're right," she concedes easily. "I think we need time, the three of us. And I really think we need to be careful with Sammy through this. I mean, he doesn't even know me and I just kind of showed up…."
"I told you, he knows you," Dean assures her for the millionth time. "L, he does. It'll take time to adjust to having you back but that's fine. He's a good kid and so far he seems to be able to tell who the good people are. Before you know it he'll be climbing on you when he needs something and he'll be making you crazy."
She smiles with the thought. "He could never make me crazy."
"I'll remind you that you said that in a few months," Dean jokes and he stops to just look at her. Yes, she's changed, but she's there. She's still kind, loving, still her through and through. He leans forward and kisses her lips once before pulling back, not looking to push her if she's not ready. "I missed you."
Lizzy's chin quivers a bit as she places a hand to his cheek. "You have no idea how much I missed you."
Dean presses his luck and moves in, kissing her again. He takes a few seconds longer on this one, remembering her and her lips. He started to forget. Over a year of her being gone and he started to lose bits of her, the smell of her skin, the feel of her lips, and the way he always felt in her presence.
On the other side of the cabin they hear a clattering noise and it makes Lizzy flinch hard. Mid-kiss, she snaps her head around in the direction of the sound and she stands quickly, half crouching behind her chair.
"Whoa," Dean says calmly, bug eyes on her when he wasn't ready for that reaction. He puts his hands out as he stands up and moves closer to her. "Lizzy?"
It takes her a moment to realize what happened. Sammy dropped one of his larger die cast cars onto the hardwood flooring, making the loud thump. It was an innocent happening, Sammy scooping his toy back up and completely oblivious to his mom's reaction.
Lizzy sighs hard. "Jesus," she complains and closes her eyes. She presses a palm to her forehead. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," Dean reassures. He places a hand tentatively on her shoulder. "Are you good?"
"Probably not, no," she tells him with honestly. She then plops back down into her chair while rubbing her face with both hands. "God damn."
"You're like Lou when she got back, aren't you?" Dean asks, taking a seat once more. He turns to face her directly, seeing the stress in her expression.
"I'm not like Lou… not as bad," Lizzy explains. "I just… it's hard going from constant struggle and fighting to… this." She gestures around the quiet, seemingly safe cabin.
"I get that," Dean nods, reaching out to take her hand. When he does and she doesn't flinch he can see that she's right, she isn't nearly as bad as Lou was. Lou couldn't even handle touch from people she knew and trusted at first. He's alleviated a little at this.
"I think it might take a minute," she admits. "To get back to… I don't know, life."
"Take your time," Dean smiles lightly. "We're not going anywhere until you're ready."
Lizzy just nods thankfully. "Yeah. You're right. We should stay here a while, away from everything. I'll get to know Sammy and get my head on right." She's shaky at the idea of all she has to do to get back to where she should be in life. It's overwhelming.
"We're in this together," Dean reminds her. "Just like with everything."
She smiles small. "I love you." She huffs a laugh at how much she does love him and how much Dean still loves her in return. Even at her worst, her mind a mess after having disappeared for 15 months, he's still holding that candle for her. He waited.
Dean smiles and stands up. He kisses her on the cheek and leans into her ear. "You and me, right?"
He then stands tall, winks at her, and heads for Sammy all the while Lizzy's heart absolutely melts with pure love. He's amazing. He's everything.
"Alright big guy," Dean says to Sammy as he picks him up from the floor. "We gotta wash those hands before dinner."
"Daddy's car!" Sammy says with a grin, holding a black toy car that he brought with himself as Dean hoisted him up onto his hip.
"No, that's not it," Dean denies, pulling the black Nova replica from his hands. "See? Check the back lights. Do those look like Baby's lights?"
"No," Sammy says with disappointment.
"How 'bout that roof?" Dean wonders, pointing to the boxy shape.
"No."
"Okay, let's find Baby then," Dean crouches to the floor and looks around. "You see her?"
Sammy silently points to a different black car on the floor. Dean beams and picks it up.
"Nice work, dude!" Dean cheers when his son easily picks out the '67 Chevrolet Impala that's painted black just like his beloved car. "You're almost a grease monkey!"
"Grease monkey!" Sammy cheers in return, liking that label. "I like daddy is!"
"You're trying too hard," Lizzy laughs at Dean from the table where she stays seated.
"What? No I'm not!" Dean grins back, knowing she's right, and they disappear into the bathroom to wash up for dinner.
The cabin gets quiet as Lizzy gives herself a second to sit within the beautiful day it's been. So much love between her boys, so much love she hopes to find her way back into, and it's completely beautiful.
And then the egg timer on the oven goes off, ringing loudly. Lizzy jumps a near foot and stands quickly, staring evil eyes at the little device.
She's suddenly reminded of just how removed she is from her old life. Walking slowly to the stove, she turns off the timer and pulls the pizza out of the oven, all while her heart drops to her feet with sadness.
She has so much work to do.
"Sammy, chew your food, sweetie," Lizzy laughs a little as she watches her son take one of the biggest bites of pizza she's ever seen a kid take.
"Yeah, he tends to have eyes bigger than his stomach," Dean tells her, reaching over to pull half the bite out of Sammy's mouth. "Easy pal, the pizza isn't going anywhere. Slow down."
"S'ry, d-dy," a muffled apology barely makes it past the food in his mouth.
"It's fine," Dean laughs a little. "Just don't choke, okay?"
Sammy nods and chews enthusiastically. It takes him quite a while to finish his bite and as he works on it his eyes keep connecting with Lizzy. He's intrigued by her and unsure of what to think.
"Hey," Dean calls over to him. "You making eyes at my girl?"
"Huh?" Sammy asks, swallowing the last of his first big bite, grease and sauce all over his hands already.
"Look, I know mommy's pretty and all, but she's mine, alright?" Dean jokes around.
"She yours?" Sammy asks, pulling a pepperoni off his slice and popping it into his mouth.
"Yup," Dean smirks with pride.
"I'm both of yours," Lizzy grins and corrects, looking at Sammy. "Don't listen to daddy. He's joking."
"You joking?" he questions Dean.
"Yeah, I'm joking. Mommy loves us both, kid. You probably more," Dean smiles at him, taking his own too-big bite of pizza after just previously wondering why his son eats like an animal.
Sammy gets shy a little bit at that. He continues to poke at his pizza, pulling another pepperoni off, as he asks her, "Why you love me?"
And the rollercoaster she's been riding dips low rapidly with that question. Her son doesn't understand her loving him. And how could he?
"Oh Sammy," she says sadly, putting her pizza slice down and looking at him, waiting for Sammy to meet her eyes. When he does she tells him, "I'm your mom. I'm always going to love you more than anything in this world."
He just keeps looking at her.
Lizzy smiles sadly. "I know this is all kinda weird, huh? Is it weird?"
Sammy nods his head yes once.
"I'm sorry about that," Lizzy tells him. "I really am. I wish you could remember me."
Sammy doesn't say anything to that because he doesn't know what he could say.
Lizzy has an idea. "You know, I remember you. Really well. I remember you as a little baby."
"I big guy."
"Yeah, now!" she grins. "But when you were born you were just a peanut, a little guy. And you were so cute."
"I cute?" Sammy asks, looking right at her now with interest.
"Sweetie, you were the cutest baby I'd ever seen. And you were so sweet. And you could burp better than your daddy could even when you were tiny."
Sammy start to laugh.
"Burping is funny to you?"
"Yeah," he giggles.
"Well then, kiddo, you were king of burps as a baby. I've never heard anyone burp louder. You could shake the house!"
Sammy erupts in laughter even harder.
"I burp king, daddy!" Sammy giggles, cheese in his teeth as his whole face lights up with laughter.
"I know! I remember it!" Dean confirms. "Uncle Sam was scared of your burps."
"He scared!?" Sammy delights.
"Of course he was," Dean says with obviousness. "What do I always tell you Uncle Sam is?"
"Scared-y cat!" Sammy shouts.
"That's right," Dean seriously nods. "Uncle Sam is a big, fat scared-y cat."
"Dean? Seriously?" Lizzy laughs at what her husband has taught their son.
Dean just gives her a look to say 'obviously'.
"Your Uncle Sam is not a scared-y cat," Lizzy corrects for her son.
"Daddy say he is," Sammy fights back, thinking his father would never lie.
"You believe everything daddy tells you?"
Sammy nods and eats another pepperoni.
"Wow, you're in in for some rude awakenings later in life, kiddo," Lizzy laughs hard at that.
"Hey! Eat the whole pizza, not just the stuff on it, huh?" Dean scold lightly to his son that's once more tearing up his food.
Sammy shares a grimace with his dad before doing as he's told. Lizzy bites her lip to stop the giant smirk threatening to break with that expression he just made. She's seen it before so many times. On Dean.
"The point is, I know you can't remember me because you were a baby when I left… to work," Lizzy keeps trying. She has to keep trying. "But I remember you, sweetie. And I remember everything about you. I remember feeding you bottles and how fast you ate. I remember that every time you got upset your cute little nose would flare out… and I remember you were the happiest little boy I'd ever met."
"And it sounds like nothing's changed," Dean comments, eating his dinner. "Still eats fast. Still gets the nose flair when upset. Still happy as a freakin' clam."
"Good," Lizzy smiles, her voice choked as that familiar prickle of tears hits her eyes as she keeps looking at Sammy, the boy eating away as if it were any other day. "That's good, ha."
Lizzy takes a deep breath, trying to contain her emotions yet again. Dean reaches over for her hand and takes it, reminding her to keep it together. He smiles warmly. She nods and smiles back.
"Mommy like pizza?" Sammy asks Dean out of nowhere, his mouthful.
"Sammy, mommy's right here. Chew your food up and then ask her."
Taking a moment to chew, Sammy gets his mouthful down and asks directly, "You like pizza, mommy?"
"Yes, I love pizza," Lizzy smiles and picks up her slice, biting for effect.
"I love pizza," Sammy echoes her sentiment. "Daddy love pie."
Lizzy laughs again. "We all know daddy loves pie," she tells him, squeezing Dean's hand. "I bet you do too."
"Actually… he doesn't really care about pie," Dean tells her.
"Seriously?" Lizzy asks with wide eyes.
"Very seriously," Dean responds. "But guess what he does like."
Lizzy grins. "Really?"
"Really," Dean nods, knowing she already knows what the answer is. "Right Sammy?" The boy looks at him funny. "What's your favorite dessert when we go get dinner out?"
"Cake!" Sammy shouts. "I love cake, daddy! I have some!?"
"Not today, kiddo," Dean laughs as his son frowns.
"I love cake, too," Lizzy says with her eyes on Sammy. "Especially cupcakes."
"Me too!" Sammy nearly shouts, the alike detail making him happy.
"You know, maybe tomorrow we can go to the bakery in town," Lizzy suggests. "I happen to know they have some very good cupcakes there."
"Yes!" Sammy shouts with pure excitement. He looks at Dean. "We go, daddy!?"
"You don't have to ask me," Dean sets the new rules. "Lizzy is your mommy. Mommies and daddies are equal. If mommy says you can go then you can go."
"We go, mommy!?" Sammy asks her with so much hope.
"Of course! We'll go tomorrow after you eat lunch. All of your lunch," Lizzy stipulates, the motherly nature in her still there.
Sammy seems more than satisfied with that plan and goes back to eating dinner with a massive smile on his face. Lizzy's is just as big.
Once more, Dean catches her eyes and he winks at her, eating his pizza with a shit-eating grin. He knew it's be fairly easy, all of Lizzy's clear worries unfounded. They have a good, sweet son that accepts people easily.
Both parents eat silently, just watching Sammy stuff his little face and enjoying the fact that they're all together now.