The next day, I must admit, was even better than the day before. Things started to go great from breakfast in the Great Hall. The four long house tables were laden with tureens of porridge, plates of kippers, mountains of toast, and dishes of eggs and bacon, beneath the enchanted ceiling which was a plain blue sky.
Lydia and I sat down at the Slytherin table next to Draco, who seemed to be avoiding Pansy Ramsey's gaze.
"Mail's due any minute, Mother is going to send more fudge again." Draco told me.
I smiled at him and began to eat, but sure enough, there was a rushing sound overhead and a hundred or so owls streamed in, circling the hall and dropping letters and packages into the chattering crowd. At the Gryffindor table was a sudden explosion of noise as an owl crashed into Granger's food.
"Erol!" We heard Weasley cry, pulling the bedraggled owl out by the feet.
From our side, we could see a damp red envelope in his beak.
"Oh my Merlin..." Lydia giggled, pointing at the red envelope.
Immediately, Draco and I began to snicker and laugh. They had gotten a Howler. We expected it to explode any second now, and Theo Nott elbowed Blaise Zabini who began to alert everyone else.
We saw Weasley reach to open it and we quickly covered our ears.
A roar of sound filled the huge hall, shaking dust from the ceiling.
"STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU, YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT WAS GONE -"
Mrs. Weasley's yells, we guessed, made the plates and spoons rattle on the table, and echoed deafeningly off the stone walls. People throughout the hall were swiveling around to see who had received the Howler, and Weasley sank so low in his chair that only his crimson forehead could be seen.
"- LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU AND HARRY COULD BOTH HAVE DIED "
Even though we were stuffing our ears, the sound made itself through, making every word audible.
"-ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED - YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME."
A ringing silence fell. The red envelope, which had dropped from his hand, burst into flames and curled into ashes. A few people laughed including us and, gradually, a babble of talk broke out again.
We had no time to dwell on this; Professor Snape was moving along the Slytherin table, handing out course schedules. Draco snatched mine before I had wrapped my hand around the parchment and smirked.
I rolled my eyes and punched his shoulder gently before taking it back. On the schedule I saw that we had double Herbology with the Gryffindors first.
"Great." Lydia said sarcastically, and we left the castle together.
We crossed the vegetable patch, and made for the greenhouses, where the magical plants were kept. Nearing the greenhouses we saw the rest of the class standing outside, waiting for Professor Sprout.
"Wait, we're like working with earth?" Lydia gasped, squirming around.
"What did you think Herbology meant?" A voice snapped, and we spun to face Pansy.
"Hello Draco." She said, waving.
"Er-"
"Go away Pansy Ramsey." I said, crossing my arms.
"Don't call me that!" She yelled angrily, making a face that resembled a fat cow.
"Then what else will make you leave us alone?" Lydia spat.
"Alright students!" Sprout's voice suddenly called.
Relieved, I turned to see her walking down to us.
Professor Sprout was a squat little witch who wore a patched hat over her flyaway hair; there was usually a large amount of earth on her clothes and her fingernails would have made Mother faint. Gilderoy Lockhart, however, was immaculate in sweeping robes of turquoise, his golden hair shining under a perfectly positioned turquoise hat with gold trimming.
"Greenhouse three today, chaps!" said Professor Sprout, who was looking distinctly disgruntled, not at all her usual cheerful self. Most likely because of Lockhart, he was basically at her heel.
There was a murmur of interest. I raised in eyebrow in question.
We had only ever worked in greenhouse one before - greenhouse three housed far more interesting and dangerous plants. Professor Sprout took a large key from her belt and unlocked the door. I caught a whiff of damp earth and fertilizer mingling with the heavy perfume of some giant, umbrella sized flowers dangling from the ceiling. Lydia grabbed my arm and squeezed, clearly scared of all the plants and dirt.
We walked in and pushed through to the middle area, using Crabbe and Goyle as shields. We put on our gloves and I laughed as Lydia struggled to put hers on, using only her forefingers and thumbs to touch them.
"Ew. Ew. Ew." She whined, frowning.
"Lydia, grow up." Draco said, chuckling.
Professor Sprout was standing behind a trestle bench in the center of the greenhouse. About twenty pairs of different-colored ear muffs were lying on the bench.
"I call pink. At least let me have that." Lydia sighed, fixing her hair.
"We'll be repotting Mandrakes today. Now, who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?" She asked, and I lifted my hand slightly, knowing Granger would be waving her hand around as well.
"Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative," she said, sounding as usual as though she had swallowed the textbook. "It is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed to their original state."
"Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor," said Professor Sprout. "The Mandrake forms an essential part of most antidotes. It is also, however, dangerous. Who can tell me why?"
This time I shot my hand up, determined to beat Granger. And to my pleasure I did.
"The cry of the Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it," I said promptly.
"Precisely. Take ten points for Slytherin," said Professor Sprout. "Now, the Mandrakes we have here are still very young."
She pointed to a row of deep trays as she spoke, and everyone shuffled forward for a better look. Everyone except Lydia, who was angrily hanging in the back, with her arms crossed and face annoyed. A hundred or so tufty little plants, purplish green in color, were growing there in rows.
"Everyone take a pair of earmuffs," said Professor Sprout. "When I tell you to put them on, make sure your ears are completely covered," said Professor Sprout. "When it is safe to remove them, I will give you the thumbs-up. Right - earmuffs on."
There was a scramble as everyone tried to seize a pair that wasn't pink and fluffy. Lydia happily took hers, putting it on without whining. I reached over and grabbed a pair, when Draco came up behind me and gently placed some over my ears, smiling and blushing slightly.
I giggled and did the same to him, fixing his hair that was slightly tussled out of place. The earmuffs shut out any sound completely. Lydia elbowed us suddenly, smirking, then pointed to Professor Sprout.
She had on some pink, fluffy pair over her own ears, then rolled up the sleeves of her robes, grasped one of the tufty plants firmly, and pulled hard.
I saw Lydia's fingers curl in disgust and her face turned slightly green.
Instead of roots, a small, muddy, and extremely ugly baby popped out of the earth. The leaves were growing right out of his head. He had pale green, mottled skin, and was clearly bawling at the top of his lungs.
Professor Sprout took a large plant pot from under the table and plunged the Mandrake into it, burying him in dark, damp compost until only the tufted leaves were visible. She then dusted off her hands, gave us all the thumbs-up, and removed her own earmuffs.
"I think I'm totally going to be sick." Lydia said, closing her eyes.
"As our Mandrakes are only seedlings, their cries won't kill yet," Sprout said calmly as though she'd just done nothing more exciting than water a begonia. "However, they will knock you out for several hours, and as I'm sure none of you want to miss your first day back, make sure your earmuffs are securely in place while you work. I will attract your attention when it is time to pack up.
"Four to a tray - there is a large supply of pots here - compost in the sacks over there - and be careful of the Venemous Tentacula, it's teething."
We looked at each other in thought since we were five.
"That's fine..." Said Lydia softly. "I think I'll just like pretend to work..."
"Just relax." I told her, rubbing her back.
After that we didn't have much chance to talk. Our earmuffs were back on and we needed to concentrate on the Mandrakes.
Draco pulled his out with struggle, and once he did, he made the mistake of sticking his finger in it's mouth. He winced, then angrily stuffed the Mandrake in its pot. You of course couldn't hear a word, yet I was laughing as he had his incident.
Professor Sprout made it look extremely easy, but it wasn't. The Mandrakes didn't like coming out of the earth, but didn't seem to want to go back into it either. They squirmed, kicked, flailed their sharp little fists, and gnashed their teeth.
By the end of the class, Draco Crabbe, Goyle and I were sweaty, aching, and covered in earth. Lydia was trying to restore her calm breathing, and kept her distance from us as we trekked back to the castle for a quick wash.
"That was nearly impossible!" Crabbe exclaimed as we headed to Defense Against Dark Arts.
"My back actually hurts." I sighed, adjusting my books.
"Oh, here," Said Draco, taking my books from my hands. "Let me carry them."
"That's sweet, Dracey." Lydia giggled, and before we could respond, a high pitched voice caught out attention.
" -could stand next to you? And then, could you sign it?"
We rolled our eyes and Draco placed my books on a bench near the patio, stalking over to Potter.
"Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?"
We followed behind him, Crabbe and Goyle flanking us. We snickered and saw Potter begin to get red in the face.
"Everyone line up!" Draco roared to the crowd. "Harry Potter's giving out signed photos!"
"No, I'm not," said Potter angrily, his fists clenching. "Shut up, Malfoy."
"You're just jealous," piped up a small Gryffindor, whose entire body was about as thick as my broomstick back home.
"Jealous?" said Draco, who didn't need to shout anymore: half the courtyard was listening in. "Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself."
Lydia and I laughed while Crabbe and Goyle were sniggering.
"Eat slugs, Malfoy," said Weasley angrily.
"Watch your mouth." I snapped, standing besides Draco.
"Be careful, Weasley," sneered Draco. "You don't want to start any trouble or your Mommy'll have to come and take you away from school." He put on a shrill, piercing voice. "If you put another toe out of line' - "
A knot of Slytherin fifth-years nearby laughed loudly at this, and I snickered appreciatively.
"Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter," I smirked. "It'd be worth more than his family's whole house -"
"What's all this, what's all this?"
Gilderoy Lockhart was striding toward us, his turquoise robes swirling behind him.
"Who's giving out signed photos?"
Then Lockhart flung an arm around Potter's shoulders and thundered jovially, "Shouldn't have asked! We meet again, Harry!"
Smirking, we picked up our books and slid back into the crowd.
"Come on then, Mr. Creevey," said Lockhart, beaming at him. "A double portrait, can't do better than that, and we'll both sign it for you."
Creevey fumbled for his camera and took the picture as the bell rang behind us, signaling the start of afternoon classes.
"Off you go, move along there," Lockhart called to the crowd, and we began to walk, laughing at Potter's embarrassment.
"He so self-centered." Lydia scoffed, walking into the class and sitting down.
There was only two to a table, and Lydia had sprawled her feet on the other chair besides her.
"Like sorry, Van. My feet are so dead." She sighed apologetically.
"That's alright. I'll sit with Draco." I said, taking my seat.
He smiled and sat down besides me right as Lockhart walked in, grinning widely.
He reached forward, picked up Longbottom's copy of Travels with Trolls, and held it up to show his own, winking portrait on the front.
"Me," he said, pointing at it and winking as well. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most- Charming-Smile Award - but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"
I raised an eyebrow and heard a few people laugh softly, while others gave weak smiles. Draco made a face and shook his head in disappointment.
"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books -well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz."
I groaned and Lydia slammed her feet down in annoyance.
"Nothing to worry about just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in -"
"I didn't even read them!" I said under my breath.
"I don't think anyone did." said Draco.
When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes - start - now!"
I glanced down and read the fort few questions before crossing my arms in irritation.
1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart 's favorite color?
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:
71. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?
"How am I like supposed to know this?" said Lydia behind us.
Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class.
"Tut, tut - hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully - I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples - though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogdeds Old Firewhisky!"
"Harmony, ha!" I hissed, and Lockhart gave us another roguish wink.
Draco was looking at him with disbelief; Crabbe and Goyle were shaking with silent laughter.
"... but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions - good girl! In fact-" He flipped her paper over, "full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"
I slammed my fist against the table in annoyance, making the ink bottles shake slightly.
"Excellent!" beamed Lockhart. "Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor! And so - to business -"
"Take ten points for Gryffindork." Draco mimicked, making us chuckle.
He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it.
"Now - be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."
In spite of myself, I leaned around my pile of books for a better look at the cage. Lockhart placed a hand on the cover. Lydia began to lower her head cautiously.
"I must ask you not to scream," said Lockhart in a low voice. "It might provoke them."
As the whole class held our breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover.
"Yes," he said dramatically. "Freshly caught Cornish pixies. "
A Gryffindor couldn't control himself. He let out a snort of laughter that even Lockhart couldn't mistake for a scream of terror.
"Yes?" He smiled at him.
"Well, they're not - they're not very - dangerous, are they?" The Gryffindor choked.
"Don't be so sure!" said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!"
The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest them.
"Oh no." I moaned, seeing Lockhart place his hand at the cage door.
"Right, then," Lockhart said loudly. "Let's see what you make of them!"
And he opened the cage.
It was pandemonium. The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. Two of them seized Longbottom by the ears and lifted him into the air, which would've been hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that several shot straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass.
The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than the danger of poking a sleeping dragon. They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, up-ended the waste basket, grabbed bags and books and threw them out of the smashed window.
Lydia and I were hit with sprays of ink, Draco had been hit with a book and Crabbe and Goyle were showered in papers and quills.
Within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks and Longbottom was swinging from the iron chandelier in the ceiling.
"Come on now - round them up, round them up, they're only pixies," Lockhart shouted.
"You do it!" Crabbe yelled, ducking under a table.
Lockhart rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand, and bellowed,
"Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"
It had absolutely no effect; one of the pixies seized his wand and threw it out of the window, too. Lockhart gulped and dived under his own desk, narrowly avoiding being squashed by Longbottom, who fell a second later as the chandelier gave way.
"My father will h-"
Draco's words were cut short as the bell rang and there was a mad rush toward the exit. We pushed through everyone and ran towards the empty corridors, catching our breaths before realizing how ridiculous we looked.
Lydia's perfectly brushed hair was now covered in knots, doused in ink with a quill sticking out from the back. Her face was equally smeared with ink and she seemed close to tears when she saw her reflection in the corridor floor. Crabbe and Goyle had paper cuts along their cheeks and fingers, with even more parchment stuck around their hair. Draco had a large bruise on his nose, with scratches along his face.
"Stupid, good-looking Lockhart." Lydia sniffed, heading to the Common Room.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
Jeez, a lot of chaos in this chapter! Now, I still need more entries for the cover art. BallaSiebenaler, you haven't answered my PM's but please get back to me on that! I love your drawings!
Also, thanks to those who reviewed and PM'd me! Means a lot(:
• Q.O.C...
-Anything in particular that you would like to be added? (As in maybe a HP joke, a big funny foreshadow?)
Thanks for reading, remember to R&R, F&F and Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon!