I don't own RWBY
The teachers' lounge was packed today. All of the teachers were gathered to listen to a very important and very top secret seminar hosted by Ozpin himself. The seminar was so secret they had locked the doors, drawn the blinds on the windows, and had swept the room three times for listening devices. They couldn't let the students know about what they were about to talk about; even going so far as giving the seminar a fake name 'The increase of Grimm activity in the Emerald Forest and what to do about it'. Of course the seminar was far more important than some minor problem with the creatures of Grimm, and its real name was 'How to mess with your students heads without really trying'.
"The key to messing with your students heads is to make them think you know exactly what there up to at all times," Ozpin explained to the enraptured staff. Many of the teachers were scribbling notes on pads since it wasn't everyday that the great Headmaster of Beacon Academy dispensed with his vast wisdom.
"Like, 'I know what you did last summer', kind of thing," asked Julia Peach.
"No. Never make precise statements; they can easily find out if you're telling the truth when they interrogate you," was the Headmasters simple reply as he took a sip of something in his mug.
"So, be as vague as possible," Peach clarified.
"Precisely, the idea is to project the feeling that you're omnipotent."
Peach quickly scribbled down that bit of information, as did many of the other teachers. Now to most who did not work at Beacon Academy all of this might seem morally, even ethically, wrong. However, you have to remember that the staffs of Beacon have to deal with teenagers with advanced skills in combat and unique powers. Manipulating their students' minds was the only way the staff could stay ahead of the students. Plus it was fun to screw with the kids minds when they were bored.
"Now that we've covered getting information from the students we will move on to relationships," Ozpin continued. The other staff members just grinned as shipping the students was a favorite pass time of all members of the staff. Several teachers had an office pool on couples. The current favorite was Jaune Arc and Phyrra Nikos, Professor Port had racked in a considerable amount of Lien when he placed the only bet that the two would get together.
"Never force a relationship just to win a bet," Ozpin said, pointedly looking at Bleu Knox the shop teacher. The big man had the decency to look ashamed for once in his life. He had tried forcing two students into a relationship several years ago; it had ended with the two students team divided. Even after nine years the team was still divided over the issue and Bleu had been struggling ever since to get the team back together.
"Look for clues that indicate that the two are compatible with one another. Usually if the couple has things in common then they will have a successful relationship. However, this is not always the case as Mister Winchester and Miss Scarlatina can attest," Ozpin stated with a small smirk as he glanced at Goodwitch. The strict disciplinarian had walked into an empty classroom one day and found the two making out on a desk.
Glynda turned red in the face at the memory and shook her head to clear it. Peter couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face. Goodwitch glared at him, and with a quick flick of her ridding crop gave the old man an atomic wedge. Now everyone started to laugh at the old man's misfortune as he yelped in pain. Ozpin simple raised an eyebrow at the spectacle of the True Huntsmen waddling around like a duck under Glyndas' control. Ozpin gave her a none committal glance and the witch stopped. Port took a while to recover from the atomic wedge that the deputy headmistress bestowed on him, but was back to his jovial self once again in a matter of minutes.
No doubt plotting his revenge, Ozpin thought with a mental smirk. Glynda was going to regret doing that to Peter who, aside from being the True Huntsmen, was also the King of Pranks. Something Ozpin learned the hard way years ago when he had humiliated Peter in combat class. The next morning he woke up with the left side of his scalp shaved off.
"As I was saying, look for clues. Don't force the relationship, and most importantly, don't let up on the teasing," said the Headmaster, getting back on target.
"That's a no brainer there," Peach chuckled, as did all the other staff. The teachers where all professionals when it came to teasing. Julia could attest to that, since she and Bartholomew Oobleck constantly got teased for the on again of again relationship they had had for the past several years.
"Now let's move on to getting the students to do what you want," Ozpin said, moving right along.
Meanwhile above the staff room Russell Thrush and Blake Belladonna where hanging from the rafters just above the ceiling tills listening into the teachers meeting. The two of them had been assigned by their respective team leaders to get intel on what the teachers were up to. Unknown to the teachers, none of the students had bought the cover story for the meeting since there were no significant increases of Grimm in the Emerald Forest. Russell and Blake starred at each other in disbelief as they listened to Ozpins' seminar.
"Those manipulative, sick, sadistic bastards," Russell quietly fumed to the cat fanus. Blake tried to quietly shush him, but it was too late. Without warning they were suddenly picked up by an invisible force and sent crashing through the ceiling tills. They landed right in the middle of the teachers' lounge with a grown of pain as the hit the floor hard. When they got themselves oriented again, they found themselves staring at all the teachers. The teachers all had wicked smirks on their faces as they closed in around the two unfortunate first years.
"Well, well looks like we have a couple of spies," said Ozpin as he towered over the two cowering children.
"What should we do with them? They heard everything we said," asked Peach, a rather sadistic grin on her normally pleasant face.
"Oh don't worry I'll erase their memories of this event," Ozpin reassured the biology teacher. Russell and Blake were scared out of their wits by this point. As the Headmaster slowly approached them they grabbed a hold of each other and screamed.
An hour later the two unfortunate first years found themselves dangling from a tree in the courtyard. To their horror they were both wearing chicken suits and several students were pointing and laughing at them, or taking pictures of them with their scrolls. The worst part was, they had no idea how the hell they got up there in the first place; or were the hell the chicken suits came from. A little ways off from them Professor Port and Professor Ozpin stood looking at their handy work.
"The terrible twosome strikes again," Port laughed while Ozpin merely smirked.
END
That is it for this one shot. I had a lot of fun writing this one. Now for a little bit of explanation, I think Ozpins' semblance is mind manipulation. The reasoning behind this is that his office resembles his mind, gears within gears always turning, which is something that I would expect from someone with that ability. The chicken suits where just a 'why not' kind of deal. This strange little one shot actually came to me when I read RainStorm4's "Redemption". Its a pretty good story so go check it out, and always leave any suggestions for one shots. Also, thanks for all the favs and follows, and please review.