This came from a conversation with a couple of readers who both stated how troubling that found it that Athos held a gun to Aramis and threatened to shoot in episode 4, The Queen's Diamonds. I found it out of character also, and I suppose it's my way of trying to reconcile what one of them called "New Athos" with the Athos I've known the first two seasons. This conversation ran through my head, and since d'Artagnan is actually acting like himself, I thought he would be the one to call attention to the problem.

Finding Balance

D'Artagnan stopped the Captain as he reached for the door to his office. "Have you spoken with Aramis?"

"Not of late, why?"

The Gascon's eyes went wide as if the answer was obvious. "Um, you held a gun on him? Threatened to shoot him? Any of this sound familiar?"

The Captain didn't appreciate the younger man's accusatory tone and narrowed his eyes. "I was following orders. Aramis was interfering with my duty."

"Orders," d'Artagnan spat. "Because we were ordered to find a diamond, that makes it all right for you to point a weapon at one of your oldest friends and threaten to shoot him?"

"I sense you don't agree."

D'Artagnan exploded. "Of course I don't agree! How can you agree? What's wrong with you?"

Taking a deep breath, Athos forced himself to remain calm. One insubordinate Musketeer was more than enough. "As I said, we were ordered –"

"To find the Queen of England's diamond. I know. I was there." The Gascon shifted on his feet, his hands balled into tight fists balanced on his hips.

"Then I fail to see the problem."

"You could've lowered your weapon." He leaned in, shaking his head, his voice lowered, pleading. "You could've had the decency to hear the man out."

"If I recall, Monsieur St. Pierre was the one to draw a weapon." It's not like they had gone there to attack the man, they had only wanted the diamond. At least that was what he'd told himself. A simple retrieval. When he'd noticed Aramis standing in the courtyard, he'd known it wouldn't be so easy.

D'Artagnan tutted in response. "A rapier, Athos. And there were three of us. How much damage could he have possibly done. He was simply defending his property –"

"Stolen property."

"—which he most likely purchased in good faith. But that's not exactly the point." The Gascon took a deep breath, frustration bleeding through his voice.

"And just what is your point, d'Artagnan? I do have work to do."

"You held a gun on Aramis! Your friend. Your brother. How can you justify that?"

"Aramis is, has been, and always will be a man who acts from the heart. While his intentions are usually honorable, his results can sometimes leave little to be desired. You know this as well as I."

d'Artagnan's face crumpled and he shook his head, dismayed. "What's happened to you?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."

D'Artagnan stepped forward, leaning into the Captain's space. "It's like you and Porthos don't even want Aramis back. You're pointing guns at him and Porthos is acting like he has the plague or something. He left – for whatever reasons – he left. We went to retrieve him but weren't allowed to speak with him. Do you think he would've turned us away if he'd had any indication we were there to bring him back? To ask him to fight alongside us?"

Athos barely refrained from shrugging. "That is something we will never have an answer for."

D'Artagnan threw up his arms in frustration. "My god! You're both acting as if his leaving was a personal slight against you. I missed him, too. Granted, I wasn't as close as the three of you, but I felt the hole in my life just as much. And now he's back. And he's trying to find his place. Can't we give him some kind of indication he still belongs with us?"

"Aramis already knows this."

"How? When all either of you do is push him away? Have you even realized how much time he spends away from the garrison? Or are you too wrapped up in your orders to take notice?"

Athos sighed, weary of the conversation. "What would you like us to do? Aramis is a grown man, a man quite capable of taking care of himself. If he had a problem with how Porthos or I behave, I doubt he'd hesitate to inform us."

D'Artagnan leaned against the railing, tilting his head back, his eyes searching the sky above. "I give up. There's just no talking to you sometimes." He pushed off the railing and stomped toward the stairs shaking his head. "I hope someday you can see what you're doing. I just pray it's not too late."

"I am doing my duty." Athos called out, more petulant than intended. "I suggest you do the same."

"Fine!" came the clipped response as d'Artagnan disappeared from view.

Athos let his chin drop onto his chest, suddenly exhausted. He took a few deep, cleansing breaths before opening the door and stepping into his office.

"What was that all about?" Porthos was reclining in the chair in front of the paper-strewn desk, one foot balanced on the rung, the other stretched out before him.

Athos waved a hand behind him and pushed the door closed with more force than necessary. "Apparently d'Artagnan thinks we've been a bit too hard on Aramis." He stomped across the floor and dropped down into his seat, his ire rising at the memory of the confrontation.

Porthos didn't respond right away, and when Athos looked to his friend, it was obvious he'd heard most of the conversation that had taken place just outside. "Maybe d'Artagnan has a point. You did hold a gun on Aramis and threaten to shoot."

"And you did not interfere."

"Maybe I should have." Porthos shrugged. He dropped his gaze to his hands, his brow scrunching in thought. "They weren't even the King's diamonds. They were England's. We chose England over Aramis."

"We chose duty." Athos pointed out.

"Yeah," Porthos agreed, but he didn't sound altogether convinced and Athos had to admit, now that d'Artagnan had laid it out before him, the argument was fairly thin.

"Perhaps d'Artagnan's right." The Captain sighed and rubbed a hand down his face, weary. "I suppose I do owe Aramis an apology for allowing it to get that far."

"And I should've called you both on your stubbornness."

They sat in silence a moment, both lost in thought, regretting the discord that had settled between them and their friend.

"Do you want him back?" Athos finally broke the stillness, not sure if he truly wanted to know the answer. Aramis had always been such a big part of their lives – the center of their small circle; always forcing them to live up to the high expectations of who he believed them to be. It kept them honorable, forced them to be better than they were. They'd lived without him for four long years, under the harshest of circumstances. Did he still see them as the men they used to be?

"Of course I do. It was never right without him…"

"But?"

Porthos sighed, his voice taking on a tone of melancholy Athos found disturbing. "But, we did learn to live without him. We didn't like it – I didn't like it – but eventually…" He didn't elaborate, but he didn't really need to.

"War changes things," Athos stated. "But perhaps it shouldn't change what's most important."

"I think I saw him heading toward the Wren," Porthos suggested, hopeful. "Feelin' thirsty?"

Athos smiled. "I could use a drink."

fin