Author's note: Thank you all so much for your reviews! It means a great deal to me.
But let me warn you all now, things are gonna start picking up speed very, very soon. Prepare yourselves.
Love, Rae.
Might Guy sleeps soundly in his apartment. The jonin sprawls out on the bed, mouth slightly open as he snores. He had just gotten back from the Land of Waves an hour ago. Almost as soon as he entered the door, the ninja collapsed onto his sheets, not even bothering to take off his flak jacket, and passed out.
He dreams of sandy beaches and a beautiful faceless red head. A smile twitches on his lips.
That is, until his bedroom window slides open.
Guy's instincts kick in immediately and he gives a holler, jolting out of bed and sending a roundhouse kick to the intruder's face. It's blocked easily with a chuckle. The faint, familiar sound of his eternal rival.
"Hey," says Kakashi with a light wave. He perches in Guy's window like a cat, the full moon shining bright behind his silver head. The other ninja grins.
"Well, well, if it isn't Kakashi." He holds out his fist and the copy ninja bumps it, slapping their palms together carelessly in their usual handshake. "It's a bit late for a stroll, isn't it?" asks Guy, resting his hands on his hips.
"Nah. The night is still young." Kakashi rubs the back of his head. "You up for a challenge?"
Guy's mouth gapes open slightly even though his spine tingles with excitement. A new surge of energy rustles him for his tired demeanor. The jonin begins to stretch out his hamstrings.
"I'm always up for a challenge! And even though I just got back from another grueling mission, I will accept and beat you while I'm at it."
Kakashi laughs and steps outside, hanging onto the edge of Guy's apartment by the skinny ledge with his heels. His rival, and most trusted friend, climbs out after him.
"Smell that November air, Kakashi," the Beast of Konoha says as a cold breeze passes them by. He gives a sparkling smile to his companion. "Perfect night to even out our score. Where do we currently stand?"
"62-60. Up by two." The silver haired ninja gives a smug smile.
"Then I shall even out the score right now and then tomorrow, I will challenge you again until I am able to bring us to a tie!" Guy looks hopefully off into the distance, a fist clenched in front of him like a promise. He shakes his bowl cut hair from his big eyes and gives a smirk. "So what're we doing, a race, an eating contest, a drinking game? Come on, Kakashi, tell me." The jonin nearly bounces with excitement.
The copy ninja looks out at the village and stares at the face of Minato carved upon the side of Hokage Mountain, the moon casting shadows across the imprint of his departed sensei's face.
He wonders if Sakura is still awake.
"A one handed climb, with no feet, up the side of Hokage Mountain." The ninja points a gloved hand to their destination. "The race to the top begins from here."
Guy gives a loud whoop and takes a starting position. "Sorry my old friend, but you're gonna eat my dust today!"
Kakashi crouches into a similar stance. He grins.
"On my count. One…Two…"
His hidden sharingan spins from beneath his headband. It only ever shows him captured moments of Sakura. But right now, it dilates in anticipation.
"Three!"
The two jonin leap from the side of Guy's apartment and hit the ground running. Kakashi ducks as a pub sign swings dangerously close to his head when he scales over the side of a building. The Beast of Konoha gives a grunt and picks up the pace, speeding a few feet ahead of Kakashi who jumps down from the face of the nearest house and onto the road. His lungs burn and he forces his feet to move faster until he's neck and neck with Guy.
"You're a little slow today. Tired?" Kakashi mocks.
The silver haired ninja gives a smug smirk and administers chakra down to his legs, making them pump faster as they race through the quiet village.
They pass by Sakura's house and the lights are off in her bedroom. Not home.
"And you're a little distracted!" cries Guy as he passes up Kakashi once again.
The ninja curses and focuses his attention on the other shinobi's back, willing his feet to carry him farther. His muscles stretch and burn with the effort but it's not the run that will exhaust him.
He looks up at Hokage Mountain and laughs breathlessly.
Both ninja act like human spiders and give a long leap after ascending to the rooftops. Their limbs tread air and right before they're about to slam their bodies into rock, both jonin give a cry as they catch onto stone with only one hand.
They both hang there for a second, panting.
Guy gives a wink and a thumbs up with his free hand and starts climbing, forcing his body up into a jump using his core and legs before grabbing onto another hold with his dominant arm. Kakashi does the same, swinging his legs to give him greater momentum as he wills his bicep to hold his body weight between jumps.
The copy ninja looks over his shoulder at the village stretching out behind him and gives a chuckle.
Endorphins and adrenaline rush through him like a high and he pushes himself further, fixed on winning this challenge. His eyes glance sideways at Guy, nearly neck and neck with each other, and the two of them double their pace.
Kakashi's shoulder feels like it will pop out of the socket soon but he grits his teeth and keeps going, sweat pouring down his neck as he takes ragged breaths beneath his mask. Guy is having some trouble too but the jonin, both great shinobi of the Leaf, are far from giving in.
Guy's hold crumbles and the jonin drops a little length down. Kakashi smiles at him.
"See you at the finish line," he says casually.
Guy gives him a scrambling look and hurries to catch up. But Kakashi has already lifted himself onto Minato's stone nose.
The concentration it takes to not fall makes him stop thinking of her. The strain on his body makes his sharingan stop spitting out some of their stolen moments. The desire to win against Guy forces out his unwilling desire to lose to Yamato.
So he makes one last leap and hauls himself up onto the ledge of Hokage Mountain. Guy follows barely half a second behind.
The two of them collapse back onto the ground together, hands above their heads as they try to relieve the stitches in their sides. His right arm is going to be sore tomorrow; he can feel his bicep and forearm muscles twitch. The copy ninja turns a gray eye to Guy, sweat matting his silver hair to the back of his neck.
"63-60. You haven't been beaten by me this badly since we were kids. You're getting old, Guy."
"So are you my friend," pants the other jonin, reaching out his good arm blindly to find Kakashi's shoulder, giving it a pat. "So are you."
The two of them, exhausted and sticky, watch the ink black sky above them twinkle with dotted stars.
He can already feel the adrenaline fading, his heart pumping back to a normal rhythm. It makes his insides twist.
"When's the last time you slept, Kakashi?"
The ninja gives a shaky chuckle, his lungs still burning with the effort to breathe, and turns his head to look at his companion. Guy is already staring back at him, concern replacing the previous sour expression of losing.
Kakashi turns his gaze back to the sky. He knows the dark circles beneath his eye very well.
"I sleep. A few hours here and there."
Guy gives a slight "hmm". His shiny black hair flips back from his forehead after a breeze hits them. Kakashi shudders slightly.
He doesn't want to say it out loud. He doesn't want to admit to what rages inside of him.
But Kakashi has never had to. Guy understands the silence that envelops the two men, he always has.
It carries on like a deep thought out conversation even though not a word passes between them for a good while. Kakashi sits up and leans an elbow on his knee. He runs a hand through his unruly silver hair.
"You've always been one to dwell, my friend," Guy says, rising slowly from his back until he sits criss-cross atop Hokage Mountain with his best friend. The two watch the faint lights of the village wink back at them. Graveyard shift shinobi mill about and patrol, drunk people stumble out of pubs. In a few hours, the Hidden Leaf will be bustling and pulsing with life.
Kakashi wishes he could feel the same.
"You chew things over in your mind until they're worn down, every angle examined, every variable determined. It's what makes you a great shinobi." Guy slides his eyes over to Kakashi. "But it makes you a hardened man."
The copy ninja sighs and closes his eye.
"I assume Kurenai told you."
"She's worried about you, Kakashi. Genma was my friend too but this rage," Kakashi raises an eyebrow lazily. Leave it to Guy to pick up on the things that Kakashi tries so desperately to cover up. "This rage does not come with grief. It is bad energy, a poison in your spirit. I wanted to know."
"You could've just asked me."
"You wouldn't have told me," he shoots back easily but kindly. "Not until you were ready."
Kakashi rubs his face tiredly with his good hand.
"He's a good man, Guy. He deserves nothing but good in return."
"If anyone deserves anything good, Kakashi, it's you."
"I'm a traitor to my friend, and to my student. I deserve nothing."
"Except the shame?"
Kakashi's hand clenches into a fist because this happened accidentally. Guy being able to pinpoint his rival's thoughts to the exact magnitude and meaning. It happened as they grew older. He never meant for anyone to be able to read him like Guy does.
"I left her to fend for herself as a shinobi. Team 7 left one of our own behind. I'm a miserable sensei to her."
"Maybe that's half true. But Team 7 is solid in their own way. In ways that mine could not imagine. But this isn't about your teamwork or your shortcomings as a teacher. This is about you and her when the ninja gear is off and the door is closed."
Kakashi doesn't answer. Guy can already feel this conversation drawing to a close.
"She changed before my eyes. Petulant, infatuated, outrageously clever but not strong, little girl to an ambitious, powerful, and kind shinobi woman. When Rin put Obito's eye in my head, I could see." He holds his palms out in front of him, measuring the way he sees it with his regular eye. "One day Sakura is an annoying child and the next, she looks at me and-"
He lets the final words drop but they don't need to be said.
"She's a blossom of youth, no doubt."
Kakashi gives a half-hearted smile at this. Always the youth guru.
"It doesn't matter anymore. She keeps Yamato in the dark because she chooses him. He is powerful, handsome, young and-"
"Undamaged."
The word feels like acid but he nods. It was a good choice.
"He doesn't to hide from her."
"Neither do you."
She sees you.
Guy gets up to stand, stretching his limbs. His shoulder pops and he winces. The Beast of Konoha shakes off the weight of this conversation, it down into his chest where he keeps all of Kakashi's secrets. He gives the copy ninja a grin.
"I challenge you tomorrow, my rival. I shall catch up to your score in no time at all!"
The jonin attempts to begin his scale down Hokage Mountain.
"Guy."
He looks back over his shoulder at his silver companion.
"If you were me?"
The ninja gives a sterling smile.
"I wouldn't lose," he answers simply.
Guy disappears down the side of Hokage Mountain, whooping as he goes.
It makes Kakashi chuckle as he leans back down against the top of Minato's head. He tucks his hands behind his silver hair and does what he knows best.
He dwells.
Yamato closes the newspaper and sets it on his lap. He leans his arms back and stretches, flexing his previously broken limb that now only has to be in a brace. The ninja takes a deep breath and smiles lightly. Man, it feels good to be back in his own home. A month in the hospital nearly took his sanity. He shivers at the thought of staying there a second longer when the front door creaks open.
Small feet tread upon the hardwood floor of the apartment, trying not to make a sound. It's nearly one in the morning and he can tell by her slow movements that she's exhausted. He can hear her rustle about in the kitchen, getting a glass of milk no doubt, so he waits patiently.
All the lights in the house are off except for his reading lamp beside the couch. Sakura enters with a rice ball in her mouth, sleepy green eyes, and a glass of milk.
"Tired?" he asks quietly.
Sakura flinches and drops her rice ball. She gives a low whine and hangs her head.
"That was the last one…"
She picks it up resentfully and goes back to the kitchen to toss it in the trash. Yamato's sharp ears pick up the sounds of her gulping down the last of her milk and washing the glass. He chuckles.
The girl hates watching dishes pile up in the sink. Despises it.
Sakura comes back into the living and immediately goes over to curl up in his lap. She tiredly sinks into him and he wraps his strong arms around her, kissing the top of her pink head as she leans it against his bare chest.
"Why are you still awake?" she asks sleepily.
He smiles as he mumbles against her forehead. "Waiting for you to get home."
"You should be resting," she says with a yawn. The girl leans her head back to look at him and he sighs.
"I am so tired of resting. If it weren't for Tsunade insisting that my leg is not ready for work, I would not be taking an extra week off."
Sakura groans and he pushes her hair back from her face gently, throwing his feet up on the coffee table.
"I wish I had a week off."
"This is the only good part about it," he says with a smirk, tightening his hold on her. The kunoichi smiles softly.
"Did you take your medicine today?"
"Mhmm," he mumbles as he trails kisses along her jawline to her mouth.
"Did you feed the cat?"
"We don't have a cat." He grins.
"Can we?"
"No," he laughs. "It'll tear up the furniture."
"It's okay. I like dogs better anyway."
The ninja laughs and kisses her, tucking strands of her pink locks behind her ear. Sakura kisses back happily, her arms locking around his neck.
"I was bored all day," he complains, leaning his forehead against hers.
"Being on leave doesn't mean you have to be lazy, Yamato," she says, a little sternly as she suspects from the take out containers near his lounging feet that he hasn't moved past the front door today.
"I know. Doing nothing is just not the same without you, my lazy queen," he says with a smirk.
"Ha, ha, ha," she replies sarcastically. "Tell that to Tsunade. She's got me working till I drop."
His almond eyes look back at her kindly, empathetically, and he rubs her shoulders and back with one hand, massaging his knuckles into her stiff muscles. The kunoichi closes her eyes and lets him unfurl the stress with his fingers.
"I was thinking," he starts.
One green iris opens slowly and she raises an eyebrow. "That's dangerous."
"Ha, ha, ha," he says, mimicking her earlier sass. It earns him a light punch in the gut. He rewards this with fingertips jabbing and tickling up her sides until she's squirming and giggling, gasping for breath.
"Okay, I surrender, I surrender!" she squeals after almost falling off the couch. He pulls her upright and she settles down back against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. With a flourish of her hand, she gestures, "Continue."
"I was thinking we should have the team over for dinner tomorrow."
Sakura nods, chewing this idea over. It's been awhile since she's seen either of the boys. Everyone has been so busy as of lately.
"Hopefully it will make them more...comfortable with the current situation of things."
He kisses her forehead and Sakura sighs. Naruto was rather pissed for a few days that she didn't tell him about dating their Captain. But the jinchuuriki quickly realized why it had to be that way and forgave her. His blonde eyes, however, do not hold back from giving Yamato sour looks every once in awhile.
Not that the boy loves her anymore. Those days are long gone, forgotten after his legendary battle with Pain. Hinata's confession seized him right out of his love for Sakura but he has yet to act on it. Too shy. Which is not like him. But girls kind of scare Naruto. Sakura might be to blame for that.
"Yeah, I'd love to have Naruto and Sai over for dinner," she says happily.
Yamato tilts his head to the side, looking at her a little confused.
"What?" she asks, just as confused now.
He chuckles and absently traces circles on her thigh.
"You're forgetting someone."
Her heart drops into her stomach when the silver haired ninja comes to mind. Sakura would like to pretend to herself and act like she hasn't thought about him in awhile. But as her insides twist, she knows better than to try and lie.
He's in every other thought when she's away from Yamato.
"Right," she says quietly. "How could I forget."
Yamato's eyebrow goes up. That was strange. He feels her entire mood shift beneath his hands. But the Captain overlooks it. The girl is exhausted after all.
"Don't worry about telling them, I'll do it tomorrow. I need to get out of this house anyway."
With that, Yamato stands, lifting Sakura up in his arms. She gives a chuckle but it's tight, detached almost as he carries her to the bedroom.
The kunoichi remembers Kakashi's arms around her, his beautiful lips crashing down on hers as he sweeps her up and takes her to bed. Sakura banishes the thought but is quickly confronted with the idea of her sensei sitting at the same table as her and Yamato, both her and Kakashi lying through their teeth as they pretend that they haven't been avoiding each other.
Or that she hit him. Or that she slept with him.
Yamato lays her down gently. He climbs in beside her after going to brush his teeth and wraps her up against him.
"Is something on your mind?" he whispers in the dark of the bedroom when he thinks of the strange flicker in her eyes from earlier.
But there's no answer. Yamato listens to the silence of her breathing and smiles softly. She fell asleep. The seeds of worry uproot themselves and the Captain dismisses it once again as exhaustion.
He wraps the covers around them and nuzzles his lips against her neck, mumbling a goodnight.
But Sakura is only pretending. She stares at the wall and tries not to panic at the thought of facing Kakashi under this roof while Yamato remains blissfully ignorant in his own home.
She sees the sharingan spinning at night every time she closes her eyes.
Even when Yamato's breath whispers her name against her spine.
But some things have yet to retreat back to normalcy.
Yamato twitches in his sleep. Sweat pours down his neck as he whimpers and mutters incoherently in the dark. He feels the sting of lightning biting his flesh. Water drowns him beneath a black starry sky while Akira's screams echo across the blank canvas of his dreams.
"No," he cries, "Stop, he's just a boy." But no one is listening. The incessant buzzing of the chakra cage's charge sends him crawling back into the pit of his mind where he is no shinobi. He is a man, a grieving wounded man who must've dreamt of being back home in Konoha. He never escaped. There is no escape.
Yamato howls out into his own head, feeling the weight of earth crush his spine until he can't move. And then comes the fire.
Except he sees Genma's face, shadowy and cold staring back at him as he breathes flames onto Yamato. It encompasses him, charring his flesh until he can see the white of his bones.
"Yamato!"
He can hear his name being called but just barely, the sound of his own agonized voice overpowering any other noise.
"Yamato, open your eyes!"
Sakura.
He wants to tell her to get away from this place. To run before she is captured.
Before she dies.
But the thought is interrupted as a hand comes bearing down on his cheek.
The Captain's eyes shoot open and he sucks in a breath, startling up into a sitting position.
His tshirt sticks to him with sweat and his hands tremble. He wants to cough, the ghost of water in his lungs still haunting him as he peers around at his bedroom.
Dawn barely breaks outside his window. And Sakura watches him, worry enveloping her face as she reaches out to touch him. The man flinches and she pulls her hand back. Not sure what to do, she simply sits and waits for his eyes to lose the wild expression.
"It was only a dream," he finally pants out, running his shaking hands through his hair. "Only a dream."
Yamato apologizes for scaring Sakura and she pulls him into her, kneeling on the bed so her arms capture him around his neck. The shinobi buries his face in her shoulder, relishing in her scent and softness. There is no fire, no burned flesh or smoke. Just Sakura. Always Sakura.
His arms tighten around her and he says over and over again that he loves her, trailing it like kisses across her collarbone and neck.
But Sakura can't help but feel that they sound more like 'I'm sorry' than 'I love you'.
She accepts them anyway, returning the words into his ear even though Sakura thinks she isn't the one he's saying sorry to.
She reminds herself to take flowers to Genma and Akira's graves today.
"Captain Yamato-" gasps Naruto, "I c-can't breath!"
The blonde struggles against the chokehold that he's currently captured in. With his free hand, Yamato slaps the chopsticks from the jinchuuriki's hand and they fall into the boy's fresh bowl of ramen. He gives an apologetic smile to Teuchi.
"I apologize for the commotion but Naruto forgot that he agreed to have dinner with his teammates tonight at my house," he tightens his grip around the boy's neck, "which I told him about this morning."
Naruto gives a raspy chuckle. "M-must've forgotten." He attempts a grin.
Teuchi waves them off with a laugh and Yamato gives a short bow before dragging the blue eyed boy from Ichiraku's. He lets Naruto go once they're outside and other shinobi raise an eyebrow at the two of them. Hands on his knees, he tries to catch his breath while Yamato stands rather triumphant, arms folded across his chest.
"I just saved you from Sakura's wrath, you should thank me."
"You made me forfeit Ichiraku, you get no such thing!" Naruto replies, pointing an accusatory finger back at his Captain.
He looks the older man up and down.
"Why are you dressed like civilian? It's weird, cut it out."
Yamato's eyebrow twitches.
"Because I'm still on leave," he mutters through his teeth. The Captain wears a simple pair of black pants, a white tshirt and a thin navy blue jacket. Naruto can't recall a time that he's ever seen Yamato outside of hospital gowns or ninja gear.
"Wow. You're an actual human being every once in awhile."
"Oh shut up," Yamato says, taking a swipe at his blonde head. The younger ninja ducks and gives a goofy grin as the two of them head off towards Yamato's apartment once again.
"Did you tell Kakashi to come?" the Captain asks.
Naruto tucks his hands behind his head and nods, humming his answer.
"He seemed kinda shifty today though. Like he didn't wanna come. But then I reminded him that he's old and has nothing better to do so he agreed."
Yamato laughs, giving Naruto a light shove in the arm.
"It isn't polite to talk to your sensei like that."
"But Captain Yamato, he is an old perv!"
"Kakashi is not old, Naruto." Yamato chuckles.
"Well you're not very young yourself either."
"Hey! I am 26, that is not old. I'm at the best age of my life."
"Uh yeah, but only because you're going downhill pretty soon," Naruto mumbles.
"Don't make me hurt you."
"Stop trying to act tough, I can see you limping!"
The two ninja continue on like this until they get to Yamato's. Naruto tries to race the captain up the stairs but the shinobi can't keep up. The boy was right, he does have a slight limp.
His young teammate waits for him at the top of the stairs, that smug grin on his face as he rests a hand on his hip.
"Sometime today would be nice!" Naruto taunts in a sing-song voice. The Captain gives him a good swat upside his head once he catches up. He ducks, laughing, when Naruto tries to hit him back.
"You're still too slow." Yamato chuckles and opens the door as the two men leave their sandals behind.
Naruto's mouth waters as he takes in a deep breath. He rubs his palms together excitedly as they trek through Yamato's hallway and turn into the kitchen.
"Oh man, Sakura-chan! It smells delicious in here." He gives an exaggerated sniff and tries to stick his hand into the pot to get a taste. Standing beside him, Sakura smacks his fingers with the end of her wooden spoon.
"Get your filthy hands away from the food, Naruto, and go wash up!"
The boy mumbles under his breath as he drags his feet to the bathroom. Once he's gone, Yamato wraps his arms around Sakura from behind. He kisses her cheek softly.
"This is so domestic of you. I like it," he purrs against her ear.
"Cut it out," she says with a forced laugh, pushing him away when there's a knock at the door. Her eyes slide over to watch the hallway. But it's only Sai. He gives a small smile and presents the host with a bottle of sake.
Yamato willingly lets go, chuckling to himself as he sets the table.
"There's glasses right there in that cabinet," he says to his quiet teammate. "No, the other one."
Sakura bites her lip as she stirs the stew. He's late, as always.
It makes her nervous.
"I'm rather looking forward to trying your cooking, Sakura. As long as they don't taste like those god awful food pills that Yamato throws away when you're not loo-" A strong hand slaps over Sai's mouth and he grins sheepishly at his girlfriend who turned around to glare at him, spoon at the ready to strike.
"He's just kidding, Sakura, I love your food pills, you know that," he says hurriedly, giving her a bright smile. Sai squirms his way out of Yamato's hold.
"Mhmm," she mutters.
The Captain opens his mouth to say something else when there's a knock on the door.
Sakura nearly drops her spoon into the stew.
She turns around to see who is going to get the door when she realizes that the boys are gone. In the living room, Sakura can hear Yamato and Naruto wrestling, probably arguing again while Sai watches. Sakura's beginning to think he rather enjoys watching them beat each other up.
"If you hurt him Naruto, I'm going to knock you into next week!" she hollers.
"Ow, watch the leg!" Yamato's deep voice rumbles. There's another set of knocks on the door. "Sakura, can you get that? I'm a little tied up here." Naruto yelps and something breaks and shatters.
Panic sweeps through her as she wipes her shaky hands on her apron. Sakura sets the spoon down and walks as slow as possible to the door.
It's too soon. Three weeks is too soon.
Sakura remembers the desperate kiss in his hallway. His hands on her and her fingers in his silver hair as she indulged in the high that is Kakashi. And now he's about to be standing under Yamato's roof. The guilt between the two of them will reek, she knows it. Yamato will figure it out or she'll give it away and it'll all be over.
The dread claws its way up into Sakura's throat when she swings the door open.
And of course, he stands there, casually, with his hands in his pockets. The breath catches in her throat as his scent of fresh cut grass and rain water washes over her. The air electrifies and grows heavy between the two of them as he's startled out of his thoughts by her apprehensive face. He didn't think it would be her to answer the door.
This is definitely too soon.
His one gray eye smiles at her as he rubs the back of his head. But it's forced, a cover up for the way his jawline twitches beneath his mask as it remembers the sting of her slap.
The two of them stand there, not saying anything, as they simply size each other up.
Longing and shame fills the space between them. Kakashi pulls, almost unnoticeably, at the hem of his mask as he pretends to scratch his nose. He can't breathe.
"Kakashi!" says Yamato happily from behind Sakura. She jumps with surprise and fakes her best smile.
"Sensei, come in, please," she chimes. The inner child in Kakashi wants to roll his eyes but he restrains himself. The two men shake hands and the copy ninja slips out of his sandals. Yamato leads the way into the apartment while Sakura keeps the door open for him. His eyes try to glance sideways at her but she looks down at her feet.
"Smells good, Yamato. I didn't know you could cook."
The younger ninja looks back at his friend and laughs.
"Not me. Sakura is the chef tonight."
The boys seat themselves around the table while Sakura serves them each a bowl of hot beef and potato stew with rice and egg. Yamato pours them all small glasses of sake to complete their meal. Politely, the men wait for Sakura to serve herself and sit down. Naruto is nearly drooling at the mouth.
"Thank you for the food!" the boys all say in unison before breaking their chopsticks apart to dig in. While everyone has their eyes averted to their own plates for the first bite, Kakashi, as always, expertly shoves the entire meal into his mouth before anyone can see. That is, except for Sakura. She hasn't taken her eyes off his face and she watches him slip his mask back up to where it belongs.
Her stare had lingered on his lips but then she meets his eye and quickly looks over at Yamato who raises his gaze to smile at her.
"Really delicious, darling."
The pet name causes a burning down Kakashi's throat that has nothing to do with the stew.
"Oh yeah, Sakura-chan! So good," purrs Naruto as he slurps his food. Sai nods in agreements, eating in polite nibbles and tastes.
"Got another week off, Yamato?" asks Kakashi conversationally. It makes Sakura's shoulders tense as she raises her chopsticks to her mouth.
"Sadly, yes."
"Ready to get back in the saddle?"
"Kakashi, I was ready two weeks ago."
The older shinobi laugh but Kakashi's smile doesn't reach his eyes.
This feels wrong. Completely wrong to be sitting under Yamato's roof, eating his food at his table while Sakura and her sensei share a deep shame that burns hotter than the stew on her tongue.
She glances at Kakashi whose chuckling at Naruto while he exaggeratedly tells a story. It's in his shoulders, the tense way he holds his hands on his knees beneath the table. Sakura studies the dark circles under his one gray orb and she wants to tell him that she can't sleep either. That she's sorry for hitting him. Their eyes meet for a moment but Sakura quickly drops her gaze.
If you tell Yamato, or anyone, Kakashi Hatake. I will never forgive you.
"Oi, Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!"
"I'm sorry, what?" She turns her head to Naruto.
"I was asking you what jutsu you created with Kakashi sensei."
She looks at Yamato who is already looking back at her. His almond eyes watch her steadily. From beneath the table, his hand tremors once, nervously.
What did he see? What did he notice?
Sakura's body screams at her to look at Kakashi but she refuses. Yamato is studying her. She's being quiet and cautious in what should be the comfort of his home and their friends. The behavior is uncharacteristic and she knows it. They both do.
"It's an Earth style technique," Kakashi jumps in. "She completely cracks the earth open and then levitates the shards of rock and dirt into the air where she uses them as projectiles to aim at the enemy. Completely devised it on her own, I simply gave her a theory."
His foot kicks her lightly beneath the table. It's a warning.
Sakura jolts at the touch and then smiles sheepishly at everyone, blushing a little as she comes to life.
"He makes it sound so much easier than what it is, really. I couldn't have done it without him! I'll have to show it to you sometime, Naruto!"
The ninja agrees happily and starts talking about this new technique he's been working on. The five of them sit around and talk, laughing and drinking until it gets later in the evening. Kakashi and Sakura both try to be as friendly towards each other as possible, going out of their way to make conversation so that everything appears normal. She pours him and Yamato extra rounds of sake and asks her sensei if he's had any interesting missions lately while Yamato's attention is drawn to Sai. Kakashi asks how things at the hospital are and Sakura makes up something to complain about.
They pretend. They cover up and run their mouths, watching the clock.
The sake doesn't work. Kakashi's body is wound up, alert, and uncomfortable every time Yamato's eyes fall on him. But he smiles, he acts. The nonchalant, too cool Kakashi does not waver while Sakura plays the role of delighted hostess. Yamato's hand reaches over the table and takes hers absently.
The copy ninja sees this and grits his teeth.
"I'm gonna go wash the dishes," Sakura says after noticing the shift in Kakashi's mood. She slips her hand from Yamato's and stands.
"I'll help," he says happily, about to stand to follow Sakura into the kitchen.
"Don't even worry about it, Yamato, let me. Keep drinking. I've had enough for tonight."
He grins at his friend who thanks Kakashi and helps himself to another round. But he spits it out comically and laughs at an impression of Guy sensei that Naruto gives, causing the man to roar in amusement.
Kakashi leaves the ruckus behind and enters the kitchen. Sakura stands at the sink, hands on the counter, as she watches the water fill up the basin. Her eyes are far away and unfocused. The suds and water nearly overflow the sink but a gloved hand reaches over her and turns off the faucet.
Sakura sighs, knowing his presence from a mile away.
"Thank you for coming," she says in a low voice.
The jonin rolls up the sleeves of his shirt and dips his hands into the warm water, washing the dishes carefully. He hands them to her in silence so she can rinse.
"Don't mention it," he replies after a moment.
Sakura watches her reflection distort on the face of a dinner plate before putting it on the rack to dry. Their arms brush each other's as they work and Kakashi takes a deep breath. He says no words but the slightest movement of his shoulder against hers speaks louder than his voice.
"I'm sorry about the slap, it was-"
"It's alright. I deserved it."
His fingers brush over hers as he hands her a bowl. The water is beginning to get cold as they take their time.
Is this what their relationship will become? Soft, stolen touches at the sink when no one is looking? Forced interaction at dinner parties and missions where they to pretend to each other that Sakura does not lean into Kakashi every time she's near him?
The ninja lets the water drain as Sakura finishes rinsing the last few utensils he left for her. He leans against the counter and crosses his arms. Kakashi sighs, reaching over to tilt her chin up towards him.
"Sakura. We can't go on like this."
She shakes him off and goes back to running the same fork under the water over and over again.
"Like what? Everything is fine. We made a mistake."
"It wasn't a-" he drops his voice lower when he hears Yamato shout at Naruto to stop calling him old. "It wasn't a mistake. Not to me."
"That doesn't matter."
Her words sting. The ninja rubs his face tiredly.
"It does. Because you and I are not fine. And he is bound to notice that."
"Then we'll just have to try harder to make ourselves seem fine."
She shuts the water off, a little impatiently, and dries her hands on a towel. The kunoichi opens her mouth to say something else but she closes it as she stares up into his masked face. His stormy gray eye drops the drifting, detatched expression that he gives everyone else and looks at her sadly. She reaches her hand up to touch his face but pulls her hand back just as her thumb skims across his cheek.
"This is wrong, Kakashi."
The girl turns on her heels to leave but he grabs her by the wrist and pulls her back.
"What is? You and me or you lying to Yamato? Because I'm not so sure that you mean that."
"We can't keep doing this every single ti-"
"Do you love him?"
The words startle her. And for a second, her mind goes blank. But then she hears the rumble of his kind voice in the other room and she snatches her hand back from Kakashi.
"What kind of question is that?"
"You're not answering it so you tell me."
"What does it matter to you?"
"It matters everything to me."
They stare each other down in the kitchen. Kakashi reaches his hand to touch her face but he pulls it away just as he hears Naruto stumble into the kitchen. He holds the empty bottle up and belches.
"We're out of sake."
Sakura reaches into the cabinet, pushing Kakashi by the hip out of her way so she can reach. But it's too far up and she's already on her tippy-toes. The older shinobi reaches over her and takes the extra bottle from the shelf and hands it to Naruto. The jinchuuriki, without another word, goes back into the living room where Yamato complains that the boys are sucking him dry.
Once he's gone, Kakashi looks back to Sakura. She averts her eyes from his and bites her lip.
"Why can't you let it go?" she asks quietly. "Why can't you just let the whole thing die and be done with?"
The words wind Kakashi and he has to take a moment to catch his breath. His thumb traces the dark circles under her eye that she tries to cover with makeup.
"Why can't you?"
The kunoichi grabs his wrist and pulls his hand away from her face.
"You should go."
She drops her grip on him and Kakashi rubs the back of his head. He nods after a long, silent moment and follows after Sakura who leads him to the door. The shinobi slips on his sandals slowly as Sakura waits off to the side, arms crossed over her chest as if she's trying to hold herself together.
"You never answered my question, Sakura."
Her eyes snap up to his angrily and she yanks the door open.
"Please, sensei. Just go. I'll tell Yamato you had to run."
His heart sinks down into his stomach but he keeps a stoic face and steps out into the November air. He's not sure if it's the wind or the way she's looking at him that makes him shiver.
"We're not okay, Sakura. Three weeks of not speaking to each other doesn't make us fine."
The kunoichi looks down at her bare feet sadly. From somewhere inside, Yamato booms with laughter.
She stares up at him and she can feel the shame and sadness curling between the two of them until it makes the air heavy.
"I don't think we ever will be, Kakashi."
And with that, she shuts the door.
"If you were me?" Kakashi asks.
Guy turns around and gives one of his sterling smiles.
"I wouldn't lose."