The first bout of morning sickness comes in full force. Sakura sits sleepily at the kitchen table, almost sinking down onto the floor while Kakashi fixes breakfast, as usual. She never gets up early enough to make it herself.
Today he felt like making something a little more western. He sets pancake batter to cook against a skillet, almost in perfect circles as he simultaneously pours her a glass of milk. Kakashi has never been one to keep the fridge stocked but since Sakura has started staying with him most days out of the week, he realized grocery shopping was something that he could no longer forget to do.
"Morning," he says softly to her, pressing the cold glass in her hand as she starts to doze off at the table, chin in her palm. She stirs awake once again as he kisses the top of her head before slipping back over to put bacon to fry.
"Good morning," she mumbles back with a yawn. After a few moments, when Kakashi starts to hum to himself, she asks timidly, "Do I snore?"
Kakashi laughs as he cracks open two eggs into a pan.
"A little."
"Does it bother you?"
He looks back at Sakura over his shoulder and gives her an eye crinkling smile.
"Not in the slightest."
Because the truth is, every since Sakura has taken up to sleeping with him at night, Kakashi sleeps better than he has in years. When she spends time at home with her parents, he finds himself tossing and turning, unable to settle down next to an empty side of the bed.
Sakura gives the tiniest sigh of relief.
She reaches her arms above her head and stretches, popping her shoulders and her back. It's still rather early but Sakura has to get to the hospital soon. Tsunade will be waiting for her to start rounds.
The kunoichi's mood dampens when she thinks about her Hokage. She still hasn't forgiven Sakura just yet for not coming to her sooner about Yamato's condition. After all the nights she spent in the hospital with him, the pinkette knew he was plagued with bad dreams. He would wake up in a cold sweats, gasping for air. And the sound of surging electricity sets him off as well the smell of smoke.
Sakura takes responsibility for his illness. She knew he wasn't alright but she couldn't find it in herself to accept that he wouldn't get over it with time.
Yamato was strong, a sturdy tree enduring the passing of seasons.
But she was wrong.
The kunoichi's gaze flickers to Kakashi's bare back and shoulders as they move effortlessly while he cooks. His unruly silver hair has grown farther down the back of his neck, more than usual. He'll need a haircut soon.
She closes her eyes and forces the whole situation out of her head when she starts to dwell too long on his almond eyes and Kakashi's taut arms in the same train of thought.
Yamato decided to get help and in the process of healing, he hasn't been allowed to see Sakura for nearly three weeks. It was a hefty price to pay but he needed the treatment.
According to Tsunade, he's been sent out into the field to do a week long trial mission with a designated team to test his abilities to cope. She says Yamato is getting better.
But that doesn't untangle the knot in her gut every time she thinks about him.
Or about the fact that she has been spending too much time with Kakashi.
Her head snaps up, pulling her out of her thoughts when the silver haired man gives a hiss and nearly drops the carton of orange juice he was drinking out of. The bacon in the pan had popped some grease onto his forearm and chest, singing his pale skin.
"Ouch," Sakura says, wincing as he simply wipes the droplets of searing grease onto his jonin pants with his fingers. "Hey, don't do that, you'll stain them."
She's about to lecture him about how she washes clothes around here since Kakashi will let laundry pile up until he's down to one set of fatigues but she stops abruptly. The kunoichi puts a hand over her mouth and nose but she can't escape the overpowering stench of the bacon frying.
It's too savory, coating the air with the scent of charring animal flesh. Her stomach churns as the familiar feeling of nausea begins to wash over her.
What the hell? Sakura is confused. She loves bacon. But it makes the entire kitchen reek until she feels like she's drowning in decaying, burning animal meat.
"Are you sure that bacon isn't expired or something?" she asks, hand still cupped over her mouth. Kakashi stirs it around, dodging a few more grease pops.
"Yeah, I just bought it yesterday. Why?" He turns to look at her over his shoulder but Sakura is already gone. Her chakra emits from the bathroom, making it easy for him figure out where she had gone. And then he hears retching.
Kakashi turns off the heat on the stove and wipes his hands on a towel as he heads into the bedroom to see what's wrong. Sakura kneels on the bathroom rug, face over the toilet, and she hurls incessantly.
The copy ninja immediately crams himself into the space with her and stands over the puking kunoichi. He keeps her hair up in a makeshift ponytail with his hand as she continues to throw up last night's dinner and this morning's daily glass of milk.
Beads of sweat snake down her forehead as she begins to just dry heave, not having anything else to send back up. The girl pants to herself and moans. She's always hated throwing up.
"Are you trying to say something about my cooking? Because for the record, I haven't even fed you yet." He tries to lighten the mood but he can feel Sakura's body tremble slightly as she tries to stand. Kakashi helps her up, letting her grip onto his forearm, and helps her to her feet.
The copy ninja reaches over as she stands at the sink, trying to catch her breath, and hands her the toothbrush he bought for her to keep there.
Sakura wipes her mouth with the gray hand towel hanging on the rack and tries to calm the nausea. She takes the toothbrush and brushes her teeth with alot of toothpaste. Kakashi leans against the opposite wall, hands behind his back, just in case she has to throw up again. Her eyes meet his through the mirror.
"Do you feel okay? No fever or anything?" He reaches out and puts a palm to her forehead and then to her cheek. Her skin is clammy and flushed but there's no alarming heat. Kakashi racks his brain. "Didn't you go eat at Ichiraku last night with Naruto and Shikamaru?"
Sakura nods, trying not to think about the fact that she saw her dinner again just a few moments ago.
"Maybe that made you sick?" he inquires as she spits into the sink, rinsing her mouth. She washes her hands but shakes her head, still watching Kakashi's handsome face through the mirror. He's been neglecting shaving, the silver stubble along his jaw glinting in the light.
"Have you ever gotten sick at Ichiraku?" she asks, a little sarcastically. They all eat there at least once a week nowadays and have never, not once, gotten sick from it. Kakashi sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He follows Sakura out of the bathroom and she sits back down at the kitchen table, feeling exhausted and spent. Her limbs grow heavy.
Kakashi serves her a plate of breakfast and another glass of milk, pushing it gently across the table to her as he sits down across from her.
"You should really try to get something down before you go to work. Need to keep your energy up." The copy ninja watches her carefully as he cuts pancake with a fork.
Sakura puts a mouthful of egg into her mouth slowly. Kakashi waits, pancake halted before his lips, to see if she can swallow it down. With some effort, she does and Kakashi's shoulders untense a little.
He puts the morsel into his mouth, flickering his eyes away from her for only a moment to cut another piece, satisfied that she's able to eat.
But that ends quickly as she knocks over the glass of milk in the process of getting up as quickly as she can to sprint to the bathroom.
Kakashi sighs, not able to bring himself to eat anymore as he hears Sakura retching all the way from the kitchen. He lets the spilled milk drip onto the floor, resigning himself to cleaning it up later as he goes to bathroom, once again, to make sure she's alright.
"This is all your fault!" she cries, tears streaming down her face as she continues to dry heave nothing. But the nausea is there, he can see it in the swallow color of her cheeks.
"How is this my fault, you ate one bite of my food," he says casually as he squats down beside her to rub her back. Kakashi tries not to smirk.
"You better wipe that grin off your face," she says spitefully before she goes into another bout of horrible retching.
"What're you gonna do, throw up on me?" He chuckles.
Sakura angrily turns her head towards him and starts to heave in his direction. The copy ninja immediately leaves the bathroom, pulling back with the speed and agility that only a ninja can muster, and goes to clean up the spilled milk. That was his cue to leave her alone for now.
Soaking up the liquid with a towel, he can't help but smile to himself as he hears Sakura cry out how much she hates him again from behind the bathroom door.
"Keep telling yourself that, love."
"Shut up, Kakashi, or I swear to god I'm gonna knock you silly."
Her threat is cut short as he hears her moan again, somehow managing to find something else in her empty stomach to throw up.
Kakashi sighs as he returns to the bedroom to get dressed. This is gonna be a long day.
The copy ninja rotates his shoulders back and flexes his right hand. It shakes softly beneath the strain of his muscles, a soreness creeping into his wrist that he can't quite ignore. It's barely noon, Kakashi concludes, as he looks up at the position of the sun, squinting his one gray eye while leaving the confines of the Intelligence Division's building.
His time with Inoichi was strenuous. Tsunade had asked Kakashi to sit in on an interrogation and help. The copy ninja's genjutsu was only the first step in what would be a long and tortuous journey for the young man of the Lock Village that had been caught lurking around the boundaries of the Leaf.
So in addition to his trembling hand, Kakashi's head ached severely. Sharp pain shot up the entire left side of his brain every time he tried to open the sharingan beneath his headband. He overused it today. But Konoha needs that intel.
War might soon be on their doorstep.
But it wasn't all that bad, Kakashi reminds himself. It gave him a chance to copy a few of Inoichi's mind jutsus. He would save them in his arsenal to practice on a rainy day.
Sighing, the copy ninja pulls out his Icha Icha, Master Jiraiya's final work, and reads leisurely as he takes his time to get to Hokage Tower to report his findings in the interrogation. Without even looking up, he easily avoids the civilians of the village as he slips deeper into the heart of the village. Parents are out with their children, shinobi on their lunch breaks. Street vendors and shops try to attract customers as kids weave in and out of the legs of the adults who happen to be passing by.
Kakashi is no different. He swerves slightly to the right to avoid a pack of little boys who kick up dirt and dust behind them, shoving and hollering as they stampede down the main street. The ninja pretends not to notice but a boy, a straggler at the end of the crowd, slows to a walk. He stares at Kakashi and then tugs on the shirt of his companion. They try to whisper but they underestimate Kakashi's ability to hear.
"Kosuke, that's Kakashi of the Sharingan!"
"Where?" The child looks up at the shinobi they're about to pass. He takes a good look at his unruly silver hair, his one charcoal eye and his tall stature. "It's his left eye, isn't it?" the one named Kosuke whispers back to his friend, now staring at the covered side of Kakashi's face.
"Mhmm. The only sharingan left in the whole Village."
"Whoaaaa," they say simultaneously.
Kakashi walks directly past them now. To their surprise, he turns his head slightly to wander his one visible eye over them and gives them a smile. A small, lazy wave follows and he continues walking in the opposite direction.
The two little ones can't help but stare in awe after him. They take off in a run to tell the others that the famous Copy Ninja of Konoha acknowledged them. Skidding around the corner, they call to each other in pants as they run.
"I wish my dad was as cool as Kakashi-sama!" cries the smaller one. The other nods vigorously and soon enough, the pounding of their sandaled feet against the dirt fades along with their voices.
Kakashi stops for a moment and looks over his shoulder at where they had been standing. He chuckles.
Him, a father? He'd be terrible at it. He barely liked his own genin when he first got them. And they were already teenagers when they joined him.
The fond memory of three small, petulant ninja makes him smile and shake his head as he continues walking. But it falters on his mouth as his thoughts drift to Sakura.
She felt so awful this morning but she made herself get up and go to work anyway. Kakashi, even during the interrogation, felt a gnawing in the back of his head that told him he should be worried about her. The girl hardly ever got sick. She was probably coming down with the flu.
The silver haired ninja climbed the spiraling staircase up the side of Hokage Tower, book still in hand but not really processing the words. Kakashi hopes Sakura isn't trembling in a bathroom stall somewhere in the hospital. And knowing her, she'd refuse to go home, no matter how sick she was.
The thought makes him sigh as he stows away his novel back into his pouch, entering the familiar circular hallway that will lead him to the Hokage's office.
Still thinking of Sakura, her small body curled up perfectly in his arms this morning, Kakashi reaches out to open the door to Lady Tsunade's office. But someone beats him to the punch and Kakashi swerves expertly out of the way right before the door collides with his face.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there. Excu-" Yamato looks back up from his apologetic bow and his features cracks into a smile.
Kakashi's heart drops into his stomach. But he gives his best grin and claps the ninja by the shoulder when Yamato reaches out and does the same.
"Yamato. You look well," he says truthfully. The jonin no longer resembles the pale, trembling ghost that he was when he came knocking on Kakashi's door. His eyes no longer have defined dark circles beneath him and the color in his skin has returned. He looks exceptionally better.
But Kakashi has always been a little more perceptive than most. He can see the hint of tiredness in his shoulders. And if he tries hard enough, he can see Sakura's face reflecting back at him in Yamato's dark almond eyes.
His gut twinges in guilt.
"How's your treatment going?" the silver haired shinobi asks. He really wants to know if Yamato is better. It's important that he faces his demons.
But he always just wants to know if he's allowed to see Sakura again. Kakashi makes a fist in the privacy of his pocket.
"Good. Really good, actually. I still have nightmares of course but they're not as-"
"Severe," Kakashi finishes for him. The younger ninja nods and gives Kakashi's shoulder a squeeze before letting go.
"I wanted to thank you. For telling Tsunade."
The jonin's eyes flicker to the Hokage behind them who's sitting at her desk, watching the two men closely.
Why is she looking at me like that, Kakashi asks himself. Her chocolate eyes study his every move.
"Please don't thank me, Yamato. Just looking out for you, brother."
Dammit, there it is again. That word.
Yamato's almond eyes lighten and he gives a satisfied smile.
"I really appreciate it, Kakashi. Truly." He clears his throat and resists the urge to look over his shoulder at Lady Tsunade.
"How's Sakura?" he finally asks.
The copy ninja had seen the question coming from a mile away. The snarky, jealous side of Kakashi nearly bit out a reply that would probably make Yamato want to strangle his superior right there on the spot.
"She's doing alright. No more late night visits," he lies easily with a chuckle. "Busy as always in the hospital."
He can see it in Yamato's face that this answer was not enough. But all that Kakashi has to offer him are things that a student shouldn't be telling their sensei as they lie together in bed.
"I would ask her to talk first," Kakashi continues, slowly. "Don't bombard her with the need to discuss what happened. Just, you know, ease her into it."
The advice stings on the way up his throat but he had to say something else. Yamato looked like a puppy that had been kicked when Kakashi tried to be his usual blunt and disinterested self.
"Right, of course."
From behind them, Lady Tsunade clears her throat. Yamato rubs the back of his head and gives a sheepish smile to Kakashi.
"I'll see you around?" he asks the silver haired jonin, giving a wave over his shoulder as he heads down the hall.
He nods and gives another eye crinkling smile until he disappears around the corner. It immediately drops and worry curls up along his insides.
This is what they mean by 'the honeymoon is over'.
"Kakashi," barks Tsunade. "Can we get to business now? You're late."
Reverting back to his typical lazy demeanor, Kakashi strolls in, shutting the door behind him with the tip of his foot. He slips his hands into his pockets and stands as attentively as he can before the Hokage.
She leans back in her chair, still watching him a little too closely for comfort.
What the hell is with her today?
"How did the interrogation go?" she asks finally.
"Long. Tedious. However, we did extract some useful information that Inoichi should be sending over in a report within the hour."
"Good. That's good," Tsunade muses distractedly. Kakashi waits patiently until she decides to speak again. "And the progress on your ongoing mission?"
"Slow but thorough. Shikaku and I had a strategics session a few days ago and I think the end results will please you."
Tsunade huffs, annoyed, and leans forward, lacing her hands together in front of her.
"War does not please me, Kakashi."
"Does it please anyone?" he retorts seriously. She looks up at him and has to blink away the image of a little silver haired boy she once knew, consumed by grief. There's still an echo of him in Kakashi's deep charcoal eye.
"I know this must be hard on you. To be planning a war and our offensive attack while nearly every other shinobi does not see the storm brewing on the edge of our borders."
Kakashi shakes his head. "It's not that." Tsunade raises an eyebrow. The ninja chooses his words carefully, slowly.
"You know I am willing to die for this land. I would prefer it to dying of old age in my bed." His one gray eye locks onto hers. "But I do not want to go to war. We are making a mistake."
The Hokage rises from her chair and goes to stand in front of her desk, leaning against it. She crosses her arms over her chest. Danger. He can see it in her eyes. A challenge.
"So what do you propose we do? Jōmae will have no peace talks. They have made that abundantly clear with the amount of our men they have killed. Genma and Akira not included."
There's a sting in his chest at the mention of his friend's name. The jonin's smiling face, his senbon dangling from his mouth, flashes before Kakashi's eyes. He swallows the hurt down and faces the numbers. The Lock Village and the Leaf have been dancing around each other for weeks. A strike here, a lost soldier there, a counter. They're playing cat and mouse, escalating with every skirmish.
Peace is no longer an option.
"Stealth. We could take out the commanders of their shinobi force so that they become disorganized."
"Jōmae is vengeful of the neglect they have received from the Great Nations. Their will to take us out will not bend, even with something as immobilizing as that. They will simply reelect commanders."
"Lady Hokage, my plan consists of a full on frontal attack after an initial stealth infiltration. Their civilians, their children, will die."
"And what of our civilians? What of our children, Kakashi?"
"They wouldn't dare attack us on our own land. Our defenses are better than theirs."
"So what you would do? Let them grow and fester while we count on the fact that they cannot dream of infiltrating us directly? What happens when they can achieve such a thing?"
"There has to be another way-"
"There isn't. The Elders want Jōmae destroyed if that's what it takes. They are a threat to peace within the Great Nations. If they get an ally, we could find ourselves standing on the ledge of an even bigger war." Her eyes flash angrily and Kakashi pinches the bridge of his nose. "They took your friends hostage and tried to extract every single piece of information on every single shinobi that we have. And those exact shinobi are still out there, alive and hunting. If they succeed in capturing a Leaf Ninja long enough to get that kind of information with their nearly god like espionage abilities, we are done."
"But Lady Tsunade-"
"What would you do, Kakashi?"
"I don't know, we could try-"
"I don't want a could, I want a we need to."
"There has to be something else we can-"
"What do we do, Kakashi?"
"Lady Tsunade, really, there are other options-"
"That's not good enough! What do we do, Kakashi?"
"I am not Hokage!" he finally shouts. The two of them stand there, facing off now. Kakashi clears his throat and straightens back up from his aggressive stance.
"Forgive me, Tsunade-sama. I did not mean to shout."
The blonde woman gives a smirk. She pushes off the desk gently and closes the distance between her and her jonin. Tsunade reaches up and gives his cheek a playful tap.
"You're still that bratty, self entitled kid that you were 21 years ago. But war has changed you, Kakashi. And as much as you try to fight it, you think like a Hokage." She gave him a sincere smile and it catches him off guard. It's almost sad. "Minato would've been so proud to see your face on that mountainside had fate played in your favor. You're a legacy, after all."
"I am not worthy to lead this village," he says seriously.
"Yes you are. Because you were willing to do it, despite your desires against it, because there was no one else." She steps away from him and goes to stand by the window, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor. She watches Konoha bustle in the cold afternoon sun. The glass held a chill as December stakes it's claim on the village.
"You could've been great, Kakashi."
He gives a disbelieving chuckle, rubbing the back of his head absently.
"I would've had big shoes to fill."
Silence stretches on between them as Tsunade leans her forehead against the cool glass of her office, watching a group of Academy students, the youngest of them all, pile out of the doors and into the loving arms of their parents. Their noses burn red with the chill, mothers frantically tucking scarves in around their necks.
"Maybe when you have children, you will understand." She turns and looks at him over her shoulder. "You won't be so risky with your own life."
Kakashi doesn't say anything. He simply waits politely for her to finish.
"I do not want this war, Kakashi. Like you, I believe that there is a better way. That is what makes us good leaders. However," her eyes lock onto his and she smiles sadly, "it does not make us good warriors. Jōmae will not surrender. They are dangerous, snakes in the grass. The longer we wait, the stronger they will become. As the Hokage, and as the Hokage that I know you are deep in your heart, you know that this is what we must do."
The words ring in his ears and settle onto his spine. They're cold and bloody.
"You're going to be Commander of our forces, whenever it begins. That's the decision I wanted to talk to you about."
He nods. "Understood."
"But," Tsunade turns around and sits back down in her chair, "Be the leader that I cannot be with the Elders hanging over my shoulder. Don't settle for the warrior. Figure out a way to execute this plan without making us butchers." She studies him for a moment. "You can go."
Kakashi gives her a bow, the will of fire and the ice grip of pending death battling it out in his core. He's Commander now.
The jonin grabs the door handle but stops when Tsunade calls out to him.
"Oh and Kakashi?" He grits his teeth. "Commander doesn't mean you get to be risky with your life this time around."
The hairs on the back of his neck stand up. For some reason he can't name, he thinks of Sakura's jade eyes.
"Yes ma'am."
"Are you sure you're alright, Forehead? You threw up your entire lunch in a matter of seconds."
Ino puts the back of her hand up against Sakura's clammy cheek.
"You don't have a fever but I really think you should go home. You might have the flu or a stomach bug."
Sakura rubs the heels of her palms into her eyes and groans. Her entire body trembles with the lack of nourishment. She can barely hold down water, let alone solid food. The pinkette looks up at her friend, and sometimes enemy, perched on the edge of her desk, long legs crossed and posed delicately.
Somehow Ino ended up working in the hospital today instead of out in the field. They hardly ever work the same shift anymore. And it's not that Sakura doesn't like working with a friend during the tediousness of hospital shifts. Sometimes she rather enjoys Ino's company. But Sakura just doesn't have it in her today to listen to Ino gush about how good of a kisser Shikamaru is.
Not that he isn't handsome, he is. But the thought of kissing someone who she looks at like a brother makes her stomach churn in ways that are not good for her nausea. Sakura had hoped that by lunchtime the sickness would pass but she was wrong. She spent most of her break trembling in a bathroom stall over the toilet.
Ino had tried to help by holding her hair back but soon had to leave before she started puking as well. At least she tried.
"I think I'm going to go to the clinic after my shift is over." She tries to stop her hand from shaking as she signs a chart. Her muscles ache and she feels so tired, she could collapse right here on this desk and not care.
Ino, inspecting her nails, gives a 'hmm' of agreement. The blonde is about to open her mouth to say something else but a familiar voice calls out to her.
"Ino!" Shikamaru strolls into the hospital, hands lazily shoved inside his pockets. "Let's go."
His face is in a disinterested scowl as he waits for his girlfriend to say her goodbyes and hang up her lab coat behind the nurse's station. They must be late for something.
Ino gives Sakura's hair a ruffle as she passes by. "Bye, Forehead! Hope you feel better!"
Shikamaru gives a wave of acknowledgement to his pink haired friend before reaching his hand out for Ino's. Their fingers intertwine and he sighs, almost thankfully.
"Why do you have to yell at me like that?" she snaps as they turn to leave.
"Because," he huffs, "troublesome woman, you told me your shift would be over an hour ago. Choji and I have been waiting outside forever."
"Sakura has been sick all afternoon, I had to make sure she was okay!"
The spiky haired male turns and looks at Ino and her cloudy blue eyes. He puts his free hand to her cheek before she swats him away.
"Are you sure you're not the one with the fever?"
"Oh shut up. Let's go."
Sakura can't help but smile as she watches them go. But her head still pounds and Sakura pinches the bridge of her nose. This day can't end fast enough.
She sifts through her pile of files and charts, sorting the most severe cases from the minor ones. Sakura chews on the end of her pen as she works.
"Hey."
Sakura's entire body freezes up at the sound of his smooth, rumbling voice. She drops her hand from her face and flickers her eyes up. Yamato stands there, still a good distance away, and gives her a nervous smile.
She feels sick again.
"I hope I'm not bothering you, I was just coming by to see Shizune. Thought I'd say hello."
She stares up at Yamato's almond eyes and she can't seem to make her mouth move. Her stomach churns unpleasantly and there's a tug in her heart as she remembers the past three weeks without him.
She missed him, unbearably so.
But at the same time, as she spent more and more mornings with Kakashi, she didn't miss him at all.
The thought makes her insides jerk. Sakura forces down a gag.
He shifts uncomfortably when she doesn't respond.
"No!" she says a little too enthusiastically. The girl flinches at her volume and clears her throat, hoping to recover her blunder. "I mean, no. You're not bothering me. Just doing charts. You know, the usual." Sakura laughs nervously and internally slaps herself for not handling this as well as she should be.
She really just wants to go home and lay down.
Yamato gives a nod and taps his fingers, a little anxiously, against the reception counter. Sakura looks back down at her paperwork because she can't look at him right now. All she can see is the dead of his eyes when he tried to strangle her.
Fear creeps up her throat but Sakura shoves it back down.
He's better. Lady Tsunade made sure that he would be better.
"I hope you're doing okay. Not working yourself too hard." Yamato gives a shaky smile at her and she tries to smile back, tucking some of her pink locks behind her ear.
"Ah, you know me. Workaholic."
He gives a chuckle and looks around before settling his eyes back on her. Sakura avoids his gaze once again as she signs off on another chart.
This is painful. For the both of them. It shouldn't be like this. Awkward and shifty. Sakura can feel hot tears prickling the inner corners of her eyes.
"Look," he starts with a sigh. Yamato, out of habit, looks around before he goes and leans against the edge of her desk. It takes every ounce of restraint she has not to flinch away from him. "Things aren't okay between us, I know that. You need your space and I am more than willing to give you what you need. I needed to get away for awhile too." He frowns and rubs the back of his neck tiredly. "Please look at me."
Sakura puts her pen down and forces herself to give him her undivided attention.
She sees the faint scar on his forehead where she had smashed her skull into his. He decided to let it heal naturally.
"I just want to talk. You don't have to come over or anything if that makes you uncomfortable." He reaches his hand out to touch her face but pulls it back, a little hurt, when he sees a flicker of fear. "We can just go sit somewhere and talk."
A few moments of silence. Sakura feels absolutely awful.
"Alright," she finally replies. "I can do that."
The change in Yamato's face could be measured in miles. His almond eyes lighten, his shoulders relax, and his smile creates a familiar fluttering in her stomach.
Or maybe it's the nausea. She's not too sure.
"Great. Can you meet me tomorrow? At the bench in front of the training fields?"
Sakura gives a small smile and a nod but she slips her hand from hers when he tries to touch it.
Yamato's hand tremors at the loss of contact.
"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow then." He gives a weird, nervous wave before straightening up and turning to leave. Sakura watches his back as he goes. But then Yamato turns on his heels and comes right back, pulling out the hand that has been clenched in his pocket the whole time. He holds it out to her and unfurls his fingers.
"I almost forgot," he says with a smile. A cherry blossom sits in his. Sakura laughs quietly and takes it, cradling it in her fingertips. "It was the only one still alive on it's tree. I found it while I was still out in the field."
Gently and slowly, as to not alarm her, he takes the flower back from her. His knuckles brush back strands of her pink hair and he settles the blossom behind her ear.
"Now it's perfect." Yamato lets his finger trail over her cheek, just briefly, before smiling and taking his leave. He meant to walk out of the hospital without looking back but he couldn't help himself.
Sakura watches him go, smiling when he glances at her over his shoulder. She gives a small timid wave and the sadness in her chest fills her up until she feels like she will overflow.
"Okay, Ms. Haruno," says the auburn haired nurse from the clinic, "When's the last time you were sick?"
Sakura sits on an examination table as another medical ninja takes her temperature, her blood pressure, and her chakra levels.
"Oh I don't know," she answers truthfully. The kunoichi chews on her lips as she thinks. "Probably about 8 months ago. I caught a nasty cold on the way back from Suna."
The nurse, Ame, takes note of this, scribbling Sakura's answer onto her chart.
"All vitals are stable and normal," the male nurse calls out to his counterpart. He removes the pressurized band from around her arm. Sakura flexes her fingers.
"Do you smoke, Ms. Haruno?"
"No."
"Do you drink?"
"Occasionally."
"When was the date of your last field mission?"
"September 15th." Sakura remembers because she missed Kakashi's birthday.
"And the date of your last menstrual cycle?"
"October-"
Sakura freezes.
No, that's wrong. That has to be wrong. It's the second week of December. Sakura knows she should've had a period on the 16th of November. Her cycle is like clockwork, never late and never early. It came, on time.
Didn't it?
Sakura racks her brain, backtracking through every single day of the month that she can remember.
Ame raises an eyebrow.
"Ms. Haruno? The date of your last menstrual cycle?"
Sakura feels faint. The room begins to spin.
Is it hot in here or is it just her? Sakura fiddles with the neckline of her shirt.
The 16th of every month, she gets her period. She knows she had it in November. It's never-
Sakura suddenly stiffens. She had gone out to Friday Fun-Day with the rest of the Konoha 11. She remembers because Kiba tried to drunkenly hit on her and she punched him in the face.
It was also the day that Kakashi took her to watch the sunset on top of Hokage Mountain.
There's no recollection of Mother Nature ever stopping by. Not a single cramp, mood swing or hint of blood.
Nothing.
Her face goes pale.
The constant throwing up at the smell of bacon, a scent that usually makes her mouth water. Her body's constant fatigue the past few days. She had watched a movie with Kakashi the other night and she made him go get her a pint of ice cream which she finished all by herself, something she has never been able to do.
She doesn't even like ice cream that much.
"I need-" she mumbles, sweating profusely underneath the bright light of the examination room.
"Sakura, are you feeling okay?" Ame asks when she begins to sway, a sickly shade of green sneaking up into the pinkette's cheeks.
"I'm gonna be sick."
She hops down from the table and yanks the door open, sprinting as fast as she can down the hall. The two nurses call after but she ignores them, sprinting as fast as she can. Slapping her hand over her mouth, she nearly dives into the nearest restroom where she slides into a stall.
Sakura retches, praying that her memory might come swimming back to her if she throws up hard enough.
But it doesn't. Sakura finishes and she falls backwards, letting herself slide down the door of the stall as she hugs her knees to her chest. She knows it now, indefinitely.
She can feel the tiny life growing inside of her as easily as she can feel her heart beating.
The kunoichi puts a trembling hand over her belly and lets out a sob.
It's late. A little past dinner time.
Kakashi hurries up the stairs, take out from a local shop in his one arm.
He didn't mean to let the afternoon get away from him. The copy ninja just simply couldn't resist telling Obito and Rin about becoming Commander. And about Sakura, of course.
Before he knew it, the sun was setting and he hurried into town to grab Sakura a hot bowl of Miso soup in case she was still feeling sick before all the shops closed.
Kakashi's arsenal of cooking has always been limited to breakfast and pre-packaged dinners. Most of his young life, he ate out for dinner, usually bringing it home and giving his leftovers to Pakkun.
Today was a long one. And exhausting. He just wanted to make sure Sakura was feeling alright and then climb into bed with her and knock out for a good twelve hours. Dinner wasn't his primary concern.
His sharingan still aches dully in it's socket as he turns to the right to skid a corner.
He doesn't need to pull out his key, Sakura is already inside. The light from the kitchen glows through the front window.
Kakashi can't help but smile as he pushes the door open, slipping out of his sandals.
"Hey," he says cheerfully, poking his head into the living room to see Sakura lounging on the couch. "Sorry I'm late," he calls out to her as he retreats back to the kitchen. Kakashi pulls the bowl of hot soup from it's bag and sets it down in front of her usual side of the table. He also puts some hot ginger tea to boil, just in case.
When Sakura doesn't answer, he goes back to the living room. She hasn't moved. Not an inch. She must still be feeling pretty bad.
He goes into the bedroom, leaving the doors open as he strips down. Tossing his flak jacket onto his desk chair and peeling off his jonin shirt, Kakashi jerks his head towards the kitchen when Sakura finally looks up to meet his gaze.
He pulls off his undershirt, the mask with it, and gives her an eye crinkling smile.
"I bought you some Miso soup in case you were still feeling sick." Kakashi leans against the doorway of his room, shirtless as always, and slips his hands into his pockets.
Sakura still doesn't respond. The copy ninja frowns.
"You alright?" he asks, concerned as he goes to sit next to her on the couch. He presses a hand to her forehead. "You still don't have a fever. Did you manage to keep anything down today?"
The kunoichi doesn't even look at him. She stares down at the coffee table, her hands curled up into fists on her thighs.
Her silence puts a stutter in his pulse.
"Sakura," he calls, slightly annoyed that she's ignoring him. "What's wrong, love?"
He follows her line of sight and Kakashi finally understands.
The world tilts beneath him, uneasily, as he reaches over and pulls what she had been staring at off the coffee table. He had been so excited to come home to her that he had completely missed it.
His hand shakes as he tries to put a name to the device in his hand.
"Kakashi," she finally says, barely in a whisper.
But it sounds like she's light years away. His senses practically shut down except for his sight. He even opens his sharingan to make sure that he's not looking at this wrong.
They go into tunnel vision, the only thing he can see being the two pink lines in the little window. Characters are written next to it, explaining the significance of the results but Kakashi suddenly doesn't remember how to read.
He claws at his face as he tries to breathe. But his fingernails scrape nothing but the flesh on his nose. The mask is already off.
Sweat starts sliding down the back of his neck, matting his silver hair to his skin.
"Kakashi," she calls again.
His one charcoal eyes tremble in terror as he finally finds the courage to look at her. Her small, delicate hand touches his arm lightly, almost comfortingly. But it trembles just as badly.
He knows it's coming. He can see it in her eyes and in the quiver of her bottom lip.
The ninja suddenly wishes he had stayed longer at the Memorial Stone.
From somewhere in the kitchen, a hundred years away, the tea kettle whistles.
"I'm pregnant."
There is no yelling. There is no confused laughter or jumbled, anxious words.
Only silence.
The shinobi suddenly feels like he has aged twenty years. His bones ache and his head swims like he's drunk.
How long has it been? Five minutes? Five hours?
Kakashi's hand shakes uncontrollably but he calmly sets the test back down on the coffee table where he found it.
He opens his mouth to speak.
But before Sakura can even blink, Kakashi gets up and sprints into the bedroom.
She hears the bathroom door slam shut and Kakashi retches.
Now it's his turn to be sick.