Chapter 12

After a fun-filled Christmas vacation, Grace went back to school on January 2nd. I dropped her off at King's Cross Station to less tears shed by both. She would be home again in just a few months for Easter vacation, and then the year would be over in June. I could survive a few more months without her, couldn't I?

I had put Sirius out of my mind and forced myself not to think about him the entire time Grace was home. She kept my attention focused on other things as we went shopping for new winter clothes and baked treats for her to take on the train.

Once she left, however, I was left alone with my thoughts once again. I thought about my promise to Remus about calling the Bobbies if he showed up again. But what if I believed him? I mean, why would he make that up? It was so outrageous that it had to be true, right?

The day after Grace left, I sat on the sofa eating lunch with the telly as background noise. Apparently, Sirius had been spotted again, up in Manchester. He wasn't near the school and he wasn't near me, two facts that calmed my pounding heart.

Half way through the news broadcast, a loud knock from the front door startled me. I dropped the spoon down into my soup bowl and splashed the hot soup on my blouse. Cursing, I stood up and dabbed at the stains. I walked quickly to the door, pulling it open angrily. On my doorstep was a large black dog.'What on…?' I cried as the dog burst past me and raced towards the bedrooms. 'Get out!'

I quickly raced back to my bedroom, hoping to catch the dog before he jumped on the bed. But when I reached the bedroom, there wasn't a dog in sight. Just Sirius, sitting on my bed in his filthy robes.

'What on Earth are you doing here? How…?' I spluttered, completely befuddled about what was going on. 'Where did the dog go? And how did you get in here? You're not supposed to be here! You're in Manchester!'

'That's right,' he said softly, his voice sounding hoarse. 'I never told you.'

Leaning against the wall, I stared at him and crossed my arms across my chest. 'Never told me what?' As I stared at him, I consciously debated calling the Bobbies or even the Aurors. I promised Remus, but now that he was here, I wasn't so sure. How could I make it to the phone without him knowing what I was doing?

He stood up and took a step towards me. I involuntarily took a step back, sliding closer to the door and away from him. I knew my reaction hurt him, because as soon as I did it, his face fell. In the blink of an eye, Sirius was gone and in his place was the large black dog. 'Oh heavens,' I whispered before sliding down the wall, curling up in a ball, my head resting on my knees. I couldn't look; this was more than I could handle. Of all the things I had learned (or relearned), this was what set me over the edge.

'Hey, Kris,' I heard whispered and when I looked up, Sirius was kneeling near me. Close enough that he could speak quietly, but far enough to keep my nerves at bay.

My mind flashed with how many times he had comforted me before when things got a bit out of control and I found myself longing for those moments. I wanted him to pull me close and wrap his arms around me, kissing me softly, and I shivered at the thought. 'I'm sorry. I forgot I hadn't told you about that.' He was a convicted murderer, why did I want him near me? Because you don't believe he did it, a little voice whispered in my head.

'What the bloody hell was that?' I asked, glaring at him, any moment of love and affection gone.

He rocked back on his heels, visibly stunned by my attitude. 'Back in school, we figured out how to turn into animals. Didn't you ever wonder about our nicknames? Why I always called James 'Prongs' or they called me 'Padfoot'?'

'I asked, but no one would tell me,' I said softly, my glare gone.

'Kris… I am sorry. I honestly forgot I hadn't told you. Which explains why when I came up to you in the park, you didn't recognize me.'

'That was you? I let you…' I shuddered and collapsed my head into my knees again.

'I'll have to say,' he started with a smirk that didn't quite reach his eyes. 'That wasn't my favourite kiss ever, but if that's all I can get, I'll take it.'

Looking up quickly, I shot him a glare that would peel the paint off the walls. 'I don't find that amusing. What are you doing here anyway?' I stood up angrily, stomping across the room and sitting heavily on the bed.

'I'm sorry.' He shrugged and stood up, making his way towards the front door. 'I selfishly decided I needed to see you. I missed you, Kris.'

He started to pull the door open when I jumped up, and walked quickly into the hallway. 'Don't go,' I said softly. I wasn't sure he heard me until the door shut and he turned back to face me. 'There's actually something I need to tell you.'

Biting my lip, I walked forward until I was in the living room. He turned, but didn't meet my eyes. How do I say this? How do I tell him he has an eleven year old daughter who doesn't know he exists?

'What, Krista? I really should be going.' Just a few minutes ago he was happy, well as happy as he probably could be after spending twelve years in that hell hole. Now, he was upset, angry even. I'd never be able to keep track of his mood swings.

'Damnit, Sirius! I was pregnant,' I blurted out, quickly covering my mouth with my hand.

'What?' His dull grey eyes met mine and any other time I probably would have laughed at the look on his face.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. 'I was pregnant.'

'What…?' He cleared his throat. 'That girl in the picture…your daughter…is she…?'

I nodded, fighting to blink back the tears that had invaded my eyes. 'About a week after you were… arrested, I took an at home test and it was positive. I…I didn't know what to do, not with you gone and every friend I had either missing or dead.'

'I… I have a daughter?' He managed to ask, his voice barely loud enough for me to hear.

'Yeah. You do.'

He slid to the floor, sitting in a pool of filthy fabric on my living room carpet. 'What's her name?'

'Grace Elizabeth. She was born August 1, 1982.'

'Grace Elizabeth? What's her surname?'

I stared at him. 'Thomas. Surely you don't think I'd give her the name Black? Everyone would know she was related to you, especially now that she's in school. You're a convicted murder, and were supposed to be in prison for life.'

'I'm sorry,' he said softly. 'I didn't want to leave you, I promise I didn't.'

Sighing, I nodded. 'I know.'

'Does she know about me? That I'm her father?' He asked with tears in his eyes.

'No,' I said softly. 'I never told her about you. She would ask, but… I just couldn't.'

'Were you ever going to tell her?' Tears streaked down his dirty cheeks, creating tracks of clear skin.

'Maybe, when she was older and could deal with the knowledge that her father was in prison for the murder of three innocent people.' I bit my lip; waiting for the outburst I knew was coming.

He shook his head, looking down at his dirty fingers. 'It was thirteen. I wasn't in prison for killing James and Lily; I was in prison for being a supporter of Voldemort and the murder of Peter and twelve innocent muggles.'

'But why did the news say…'

'Because the muggles think that a gas explosion killed the twelve. They didn't know what to make of James, Lily and Peter, so they blamed it on me. Not that the Ministry helped of course, just shoved me in Azkaban without a trial.' He shivered and got a dark look in his eyes.

'How bad is it?' I asked, not sure if I wanted the answer.

'It's more terrible than you could ever imagine.'

I looked up at him, unsure of how far I wanted to press him. 'Don't you think I have a right to know? My daughter is in your world now; I think I should know…'

'You want to know?' He yelled, jumping to his feet and towering over me.'The prison is on an island where the sun never shines and no one ever visits. They stick you in a cold, damp, dark cell with no light. The only sounds you hear are the waves crashing against the rocks and the other prisoners screaming their insanity. The dementors float up and down, sucking out any happy memory you might happen to have. All you can think about are the worst moments of your life.

'Every time they passed, I saw James's blank eyes staring up at me or Lily's beautiful hair strewn everywhere. I remembered having to hand Harry over to Hagrid because no one would believe I didn't do it. I remembered performing that charm on you and erasing your memory.' His voice broke as tears flowed down his cheeks and dropped to the floor below.

My mouth was dry and I had no words to respond to what I just heard. 'So next time I tell you that you don't want to know or I don't want to talk about it, listen.'

'I… I'm sorry,' I said softly as he slid back to the ground. 'I hate this. It's like I'm left out of the loop. At first it was just you and your friends and it was fine, but now it's my daughter. Everyone but me knows what's going on.' Tears filled my eyes as I stared at him. All I wanted at that moment was to go back twelve years. I wanted to be with him, happy and content, the feeling of safety all around me.

'What house is she in?'

I laughed softly to myself. 'You know, I didn't even know there were different houses until she wrote me a letter. Remus forgot to mention that part.'

'What do you mean?' Sirius' eyes narrowed as he glared at me. 'Why was he talking to you at all? He promised to avoid you.'

'Yeah, he mentioned that. He's a teacher at school this year and seeing as how I didn't know anything about magic,' I said with a snide look, 'someone had to come tell us. Professor Dumbledore assigned him the task, seeing as how we already knew each other. Why was he supposed to avoid me?'

Sirius sighed, his expression softening. 'I told him that if anything happened, I was going to erase magic from your memory. He agreed, said it would be for the best. And he promised he wouldn't look for you, that he wouldn't try to undo what I had done.'

I nodded. 'He was really careful about what he said. He never let on that I was supposed to know more than I did.'

'Good. So, to ask my question again, what house is she in?'

'Gryffindor, the same one you were in.'

He closed his eyes, a sad smile crossing his face. 'That's good to know,' he said softly. 'Krista, I'm going to fix this. I promise I will, and maybe we can see where we stand. If you would want to, of course.'

I bit my lip. Did I still want to? Why hadn't I called the bloody Bobbies yet? 'Well… we'll need to see when we get there, okay?'

'Understandable. I should probably leave. I don't need to get you in trouble.' He stood up and held out his hand for me to take.

After being pulled up, I dropped his hand, stepping back. 'I… you don't know how much I missed you,' I said softly.

'I don't know, you don't know how much I missed you. I know it's been… a long time. But I never stopped loving you. I couldn't think of you much, at least not the happy times, but the thought of you helped keep me sane. I should have lost my mind in there, but knowing that I was innocent and that you were safe helped me.'

I nodded, unsure of how to respond. 'Try and stay safe, okay? I don't think I can take it if something happens to you, not now, not after you gave me my memories back.'

He stepped forward, his hand coming up to cup my chin. 'I want to meet her. One day soon, I want to meet her.'

'I know. I can't tell her until you're innocent; I don't know how she would take it.'

'I understand. I want to kiss you so bad.'

My heart pounded in my chest, so loudly I thought he would hear it. 'Me too, but…' I trailed off, not wanting to be rude.

'I know.' He pressed his dirty lips to my forehead and I was momentarily repulsed by the smell radiating off him. He hadn't showered in who knew how long. 'I'll be back soon. I don't think I can stay away from you too long.'

I couldn't say anything, so I nodded. 'I love you,' I managed to whisper as he pulled away.

'That's good to know,' he replied. 'I love you, too.' He smiled at me one last time before disappearing in a loud crack.

I collapsed back onto the floor, tears rushing down my cheeks.

AN: Here's the newest chapter, up sooner than Friday! Thank you to: amrawo, Hi, AllenPitt, LadyStrider17, ktmt1120 and Olga and Elias for reviewing the previous chapter. And thank you to everyone who has this favorited or alerted! I do try to reply to everyone who reviews, so do leave one! I'll answer any questions and comments!

Next chapter will be up within the week!