Human Hospitality

by scoutergreen

Chapter 34

Unexpected Answers

Another two weeks passed, and Vegeta made a point of visiting the lab twice every day to inspect progress on his simulator. A morning when he was banned from approaching the simulator due to the use of flame retardant spray left him anxious, and an evening when he discovered Bulma had chosen to take a night off due to a migraine instead of re-programming his drones left him cursing and stomping down the hallway, snarling at Yamcha as he passed.

Three weeks into Vegeta's second long-term stay on Earth, the Saiyan had established a daily routine that allowed him to keep moving for at least six hours per day, but also allowed for a fair amount of time to relax and eat. He slept well, took afternoon naps almost every day, ate close to everything offered to him, sunbathed, and occasionally joined Mrs. Briefs for an informal cooking lesson in the early morning hours. He learned of outdoor running routes and took to running almost every morning just before breakfast.

One day, when Vegeta came downstairs looking for coffee, water, and something light before he went on a run, he noticed Mrs. Briefs quietly looking him over and his cheeks reddened, "what is it? Why do you keep looking at me?"

"You've put on some weight," Mrs. Briefs remarked, smile never fading, "your face looks fuller... and that makes you look younger, you know! Geez, do you have any idea how handsome you are, Vegeta? What a face you've got! Surely there's somebody who's already scooped you up by now- do you have a girlfriend?"

"Um," the Saiyan took a seat at the round kitchen table and picked a banana from the fruit basket, "no," his face grew hot and he avoided the woman's gaze, "not at all."

"Oooh," Mrs. Briefs continued, "...is it a boyfriend?"

Vegeta choked on his coffee and frantically set the mug on the table. "No," he croaked, "no! Stop this at once!" His voice regained its strength and he wished he could disappear silently.

"I just can't believe you haven't been scooped up yet! My, my, Mr. Vegeta, I'm so surprised to learn you're a bachelor!"

"This conservation is over!" Vegeta rose from his chair and returned to his bedroom. One cup of coffee, this piece of fruit, and then I go for a run... that woman is truly weird!

Shoes covered with cloth slippers, Vegeta strolled through the ship, quite impressed with the larger training space made available. Bulma had said they'd been working with potentially toxic chemicals and forced the Saiyan to wear a respirator.

"You don't wanna be in here too long," Bulma's voice sounded muffled behind her respirator, "we used some powerful adhesives today and they have ingredients you don't want to be breathing in."

"Ah, then give me thirty more seconds..." Vegeta continued looking around the space, "how much longer until the simulator is complete and functional?"

"Another two weeks, I'd say. But it'll be worth it, I promise!"

Rolling his eyes, the Saiyan turned away from Bulma and made his way closer towards the exit. "I bet it'll just be something once it's complete. But really, the increased space is nice," he pulled off the protective cloth slippers and tossed them in the trash can and pulled off his respirator. The fumes from the glue were strong, he felt a little dizzy and was eager to get into clear air.

"Glad to hear. Say... Vegeta?"

"Yeah?" Vegeta stopped and looked back at Bulma, eyes narrowing. If she was about to drop another surprise, his mood was sure to turn ugly.

"Um..." she pulled off her respirator and the Saiyan noticed her face reddening slightly, "well... do you want to maybe hang out together... this evening? Somewhere quiet, I mean. Where we can just talk."

The Saiyan looked at human as though she had suddenly sprouted a second head. "You want to talk to me?"

"Yeah!"

Vegeta's eyes turned to slits. "Why?"

"Oh my God, Vegeta! Seriously?" Bulma rolled her eyes and forced herself to take a deep breath, "ugh... let me expla-" her face went blank and she restarted, sharply inhaling through her nose and voice taking on a resigned tone, "look, just meet me on the roof tonight around nine. You'd better be ready to chill out and have a good time, alright? I know you stay up late sometimes, so don't tell me you need to be in bed by that hour."

"Alright, then. On the roof at nine, to "chill out". Until then, goodbye," he took off quickly and turned down the hallway towards the gym.

Good on his word, Vegeta jumped up to the highest dome-shaped roof of the Capsule compound as the sun set and discovered Bulma sitting comfortably with an icy-cold can of beer in her hands. "About time! You want a beer?"

"Sure," Vegeta reached into the small insulated bag she'd carried up and cracked open his own can, "so what's this all about?"

The engineer sighed. "I just wanna get to know you a bit more, that's all. Look, Vegeta- I'm a busy woman, determined to get what I want, and I just happen to be attractive on top of all my other incredible attributes-"

"And blessed with such modesty, too!" Vegeta sneered and guzzled half his can of beer in the space of about three seconds.

"Pot calling the kettle black... anyway, Yamcha and I are basically done. We haven't officially broken up yet... I'm going to dump him soon, though. Don't get me wrong, he's always gonna be my friend, and I certainly love and care for him, but I'm not in love with him any more. I don't know if he's gonna move out, either. You know, we got along so well in our twenties, but now that we've both hit our thirties, I've really started to see that we just don't have as much in common now..."

"Okay."

"Yeah, I know you want me to get right to the point, and my point is... and I'm just putting this out there... you're actually pretty good looking, you have an incredible body, and I wouldn't object to getting to know you better."

"Okay," Vegeta finished his beer, crushed the can, and tossed it off the roof, "I understand."

"Are you always this obtuse?! Ugh!"

The man sat up, slightly stiffened, and curled his lips into a sour pout. "Don't call me that! I don't give a shit about your boyfriend, or whatever he is, and while we're on the subject of the stupid things, I'm sick of listening to your idiotic arguments with him because they're giving me headaches!"

The engineer finished her beer but put her empty can back in the bag and pulled out two more. "I'm sick of having those arguments, and they give me headaches too! They're absolutely exhausting! But as I said... you're really cute..." she moved closer to the Saiyan and brushed her lips across his cheek.

"Heh," Vegeta shifted away slightly, "this morning your mother asked if I had a boyfriend."

Bulma pulled away and stared at Vegeta, eyes wide and jaw slack. "Wait, she thinks you're gay? Um... are you gay?"

"I do not understand this expression "gay" in relation to my sexuality, but she asked me if I had a girlfriend or a boyfriend..."

"Um, "gay" refers to a man who is attracted to and has sex with other men, usually exclusively."

"Oh. Then I guess I'm not gay," Vegeta cracked open his second can of beer, "whatever the fuss is all about."

A long stretch of silence passed and stars started to appear in the darkening sky. Bulma looked over at Vegeta and found him actually relaxing; it showed in his face and especially in his body language.

Bulma finally broke the silence: "Vegeta?"

"Yeah?"

"When you took the Capsule ship... what was your journey like? I mean, there were times I was worried you were dead but then there were other times that I swore you were probably out having the time of your life," Bulma finally opened her second beer, "and believe it or not, I thought about you a lot."

Vegeta looked up at the stars and sighed. He was quiet for several minutes, fiddling with the tab of his beer can or picking at his nails. Finally, he spoke quietly: "it was a hard journey, at times. And there are no friends in the PTO, you must believe everybody is your enemy if you are to survive."

"That's sad..."

"It is reality. Even sitting down with old comrades resulted in a stabbing during my journey. It was a potent reminder that I need to keep vigilant."

"I can't imagine going through life without my friends. I trust them with my life."

"Foolish," Vegeta took another long gulp of beer, "totally foolish thinking."

"I was scared for you, Vegeta. After you called and told me you were seriously injured, I thought about you all the time. What happened, anyway?"

"Mm," Vegeta trailed off and wondered if it was time for him to leave, "I got to a doctor in time. Turns out I had a couple infections going on in my body anyway."

"Oh."

Vegeta finished his second beer and tossed the can into the distance. "Yeah. Nothing couldn't be remedied by antibiotics, however..."

Bulma lit a cigarette and took a shallow drag, "so what exactly does a guy like you do for fun? I mean, you can't always train... and you can't tell me you do, because we both know that's completely untrue!"

The Saiyan snickered and a crooked grin spread across his face, "are we discussing my leisure activities in years past, or in the present day? Because these days my leisure activities include being baffled by your television broadcasts and eating whatever your mother offers me."

The engineer was halfway through her cigarette and already thinking about the second one. "So what did you do before you became so boring?"

Vegeta's mouth dropped open and he laughed loudly, quite amused and almost shocked by Bulma's barb. "Still better than taking up bickering as a hobby. Anyway, if you're so damn interested... when I worked with the two idiots known as Raditz and Nappa..."

Bulma's eyes widened and she leaned closer, silently urging the Saiyan to continue.

"...hmm, we went out. That's all I'll say for now."

"Oh, you're the worst! All that build-up and no juicy story," Bulma let out a puff of cigarette smoke and rolled her eyes.

Recoiling from the smell, Vegeta eyed Bulma's cigarette and wondered if he'd smelled anything like it before, "whatever you're smoking, it smells awful. What sort of herb is that, anyway?"

"It's called tobacco," Bulma passed the cigarette to Vegeta, "you wanna try? They're pretty bad for you."

Reluctantly, Vegeta brought the filter to his lips and inhaled gently, his mouth and lungs filling up with the semisweet and chemical-laden smoke. He exhaled as he returned the cigarette to Bulma and stuck his tongue out with disgust, "that's rough. Tastes bad. Ugh, why do you smoke these?"

"Nicotine."

"What's tha- oh," Vegeta shut his eyes as the nicotine surged through his bloodstream and his heartbeat quickened, "nee-coh-tihn," his accent became more apparent as he slowly repeated the new word, "makes you lightheaded."

The engineer nodded and watched the Saiyan recover from the rush. "They taste awful at first, but they're really addictive and, as I already said, really fucking bad for your health."

"Guess humans have vices too," Vegeta smirked, "bad ones."

"Do you have any? Probably not, I suppose the Prince of Saiyans would be above that sort of thing."

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Bulma sat up straight, suddenly feeling very alert. Maybe Vegeta would reveal something truly surprising. "Well?"

Vegeta locked eyes with Bulma and looked at the woman with such intensity that for many seconds the heiress worried that the Saiyan would finally turn on her. He licked his lips and pushed them out into a gentle pout before finally speaking. "After the most brutal or taxing of missions, once I'd received medical treatment and gone through debriefing... if I wasn't training, I was probably fucking whores and drinking enough to stay drunk for a few days at a time. Raditz and Nappa did the same thing, and it was the only time I could stand them. But I'm not going to go into any more detail."

"So much for idea that you were very inexperienced or even a virgin..." Bulma smirked. Yamcha had posed the idea to her one day when they knew Vegeta was busy swimming laps in the pool and unlike to materialize out of nowhere as he was prone to doing.

The Saiyan barked a laugh and sneered at Bulma, "not for many years. Believe me when I say this: I could have you screaming, begging for more, and leave you unable to walk straight for a week. Unlike your so-called boyfriend, I can fuck, and I fuck well."

And with that, Vegeta stood up and jumped down to the ground, landing so softly that he didn't make a sound as his feet met the patio. Stunned into silence, Bulma tried to process what Vegeta had just told her, but his husky voice refused to stop reverberating in her head long enough to let her think.

To Be Continued