I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Evanescence - My Immortal

"Oh, shit." Rick said, as he ripped open the driver's door of the patrol car.

He jumped over the teenager who was on the ground, still writhing in pain from being thrown from his car. He ran over to his old Toyota Camry. He saw what was once Carl, his body strapped to the car seat in the back, blood pouring around where his head once was. He tried to open Lori's door while pushing Shane out of the way. Rick looked at his wife and saw the blood trickling from the lacerations on her forehead and mouth.

He was finally able to jerk the door open, and had to catch Lori as she fell out. He lifted her up, bridal style and walked a few feet to gently put her on the pavement. He immediately started CPR. Rick watched in horror as blood rapidly started to stain Lori's shirt. "Oh, god, oh fuck…" He could see and taste the blood bubbling at the corner of Lori's mouth as he tried to preform mouth to mouth. He yelled at Shane to do chest compressions. Even with the rain, Lori's blood was pooling on the ground beneath them, and terror unlike any he had never known was threatening to paralyze him.

He could hear squelch of the approaching ambulance, and begged Lori to hold on. He saw the gush of fluid that soaked her pants, and asked Shane to rip her pants off because the baby's coming.

"Lori, Lori…" Rick watched as his wife slipped away. He could hear the wet rattle over everything else. "Please, don't…" Rick bit though his lips as he struggled not to cry. "I love you."

Lori shuddered and then everything stopped. Her pulse was gone, she was gone. Rick screamed. He knew it was pointless, but that didn't stop him from pounding on Lori's chest and trying to breathe life back into her. Rick struggled against the arms pulling him away from his wife and watched in horror as the paramedics didn't even bother touching Lori. They knew it was too late. They had to use forceps to deliver a baby girl, whom they immediately put in the back of the ambulance and sped away. They took his baby girl away from him.

Rick watched as his colleagues, Bassett and Everett, put a yellow tarp over Lori's body. He did everything he could to get free from Shane's grasp.

Rick jolted awake. His hands were shaking, and he was sweating profusely. He got out of bed, on shaky legs, and ran to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet.

He reached up and grabbed the counter to pull himself up and in the process knocked his razor to the floor. It almost seemed as if it was falling in slow motion. The sound it made when it hit the floor reverberated throughout his small room. Suddenly all he could hear was the sound of twisted metal and the smell the coppery scent of blood. He fell back against the bathroom counter and tried desperately to stave off the barrage of memories threatening to overwhelm him.

Rick could feel the tears sliding down his face and hear the sobs that were being ripped from his chest. He was losing, he was losing and oh, god he didn't want to…

"I have news for you" Lori smiled, as she welcomed Rick home after another exhausting day on the job.

"What's that, baby? Rick responded, as he lifted up four year old Carl and gave her a kiss at the same time.

"Well, what do you think Carl's gonna be when he grows up?"

Rick looked around at the crayon marks on the wall and the overturned bucket of toys. "Probably something to do with demolition." He laughed.

"Maybe, but I'll tell you something he definitely will be." She said, not even trying to hide the smile that spread across her face.

"Yeah?" Rick asked, not knowing what to say.

Lori ran her fingers though her four year old's hair and said…."tell Daddy…what are you gonna be?"

Carl raised his arms above his head and yelled "a big brother!"

Rick immediately locked eyes with Lori, and with Carl in one am he pulled his wife closer with the other. "I love you so much, Lori." He chocked out, and heard her mumble something in return.

The memories ebbed and flowed like waves. Battering and receding, only to return stronger each time. Rick bit his lip and tasted blood as he swallowed. He looked around but the room was empty. The only voices he heard, the only shouts were his and those in his memories. He tried to think about something else, anything. He desperately tried to remember the night before his family had died. He tried to dredge up the sound of Lori's laughter, the way his body had felt when they crawled in bed and inevitably ended up tangled in the sheets, drenched with sweat after fucking until they were too tired to move. But he couldn't. He was stating to forget the sound of her laugh.