Hey Everybody, I hope you had an amazing weekend. I am sorry didn't update sooner, but many things had been going on

So as you remember, Amanda and Olivia just started her evening and after a little struggle it seems to go on very well. Let's see how far Amanda will go with the older Detective…

As always all Rights to Law & Order SVU belongs to Dick Wolf.

After Olivia took care of Amanda's arm the two women sat down at the couch and ordered some Chinese food. It arrived very quickly and the two had a very light conversation during dinner. They talked about their co-workers and how bossy Amaro could be when he was convinced of something. How paranoid Munch was at some time and how funny Fin looked when he tried to be the bad guy. Time went by and Olivia felt more and more relaxed next to the blonde one. She was a little tipsy from the wine and got enough courage to talk freely.

"Amanda, why did you leave Georgia? You are a good looking woman; you could've climbed the latter of success very fast. I am sure it wasn't because of the weather, it's sunnier in Atlanta than here."

Olivia had a smile on her lips that were immediately erased when she saw the look in Amanda's eyes. They darkened and it seemed like her face turned white. She put her glass back on the table, ran her hand trough her hair and sighed. Olivia got worried. The funny, smart woman had turned into a little bundle that seemed helpless and sad. She grabbed Amanda's hand and softly stroked it "I am sorry Amanda; I didn't want to insult you. I was just joking. I think you are great in your job no matter how you look!"Olivia felt a little helpless because Amanda just sat there like a statue and did not say a single word she just starred at the floor and her eyes glanced. Olivia knew that Amanda would never cry in front of someone so the situation seemed very fatal. "Amanda, please talk to me! No matter what happened, I would never judge or blame you! Let me help you!"For the first time Amanda looked up to Olivia just to find warm Hazelnut eyes that looked so honest and real that she couldn't help but smile a little bit.

"I left Atlanta because my former Deputy Chief did not know how to behave right! My sister, Kim, had been arrested because of Burglary and Criminal Assault. I wanted to talk to him. Kim has a mental disease and I couldn't let her go to jail. I told him about our whole family situation and he was very appreciative. He said there would be a chance for my sister to get away with a caution but that he would have to pull a lot of strings. I almost begged on my knees because I wanted to protect her…Of course nothing is ever free…"Amanda stopped talking and whipped away some tears that ran down her cheeks before she continued talking "I told him that I would do everything. I didn't have something like this in mind…But I had to protect Kim…"her voice broke and she sobbed unregulated. Her body was shaking and the tears streamed down her face. Olivia pulled her arms around the blonde one and rocked her body back and forth. She didn't need to hear more; she knew that Amanda was raped by her Boss. She felt stupid and naïve. She worked with victims for over 13 years but did not see the signs from her co-worker because she was too concentrated to ignore the blonde. She hadn't been ready for changes inside her squad and by this fact she had overseen Amanda's pain. Maybe this was the reason for her strange behavior when they interrogated suspects. Or her jump ways when a perpetrator stood way too close to her. Now it all made sense.

"I didn't want to ruin the evening, Olivia. I should leave…"suddenly Amanda got up and grabbed her jacket. She wanted to move to the door but was held off by a hand around her wrist. She turned around and found Olivia next to her. Her hand softly slid into hers

"Don't run away. I know it is hard to talk about, Amanda, but it was not your fault! No matter what he said, he raped you and that was wrong! Please stay! Don't hide yourself! I wanna be your friend, Amanda, I wanna help you! I…I know how it feels to be powerless. And I know that you think you could have prevented this because it is your job. But you are not Superwoman! You couldn't control the situation you couldn't free yourself, but you have to stop blaming yourself for that! I tell myself every day that it wasn't my fault and by the time…it gets better" with these words Olivia ended up quiet. Amanda had listened and had just realized what Olivia had said. She wasn't alone. She wasn't the only one. Olivia had felt the pain too. She had gone through this hell, like her. As sad as it had been, it helped Amanda to feel a little better. She grabbed Olivia's other hand and they sat down on the couch again. They stayed in this position for a few minutes. Amanda noticed that Olivia still held her hand. She found her voice back and softly whispered "What happened to you?"

"I had been undercover in a prison. We tried to catch a guard who raped an inmate and her daughter. Think I was kind of his type. After some days he brought me into the basement and handcuffed me against a door. He opened his pants and forced me to…I fought back, I screamed, I bit but he was stronger. Lucky me, Fin's got my back and interrupted. Don't know what would have happened if he wouldn't have been there…"

Amanda squeezed her hand gently and stroked her back. They both had been wounded and used but she felt a lot better after telling Olivia everything. It brought them closer together and she felt reliefed that everything went well and that Olivia had been so supportive and open. She grabbed her glass again and looked over to Olivia "I really need another of this one's here" she said with a sloppy smile.

Olivia got up and brought another bottle from the kitchen and poured some of the wine into Amanda's glass they both took a sip. They sat there in silence for another few minutes before Olivia found her voice back "I don't want to sound rude, but did you…have sex with a guy since…" she didn't finished the sentence but there was no need to. Amanda looked down on her feet before she answered

"No I did not. But that's not the reason. I…this was the only time I ever had… I normally don't date guys…I am….I am gay, Olivia!" the last words had been whispered by Amanda because she hoped Olivia would not recognize it. On one side Amanda wanted her to know, wanted her to see how she felt for her. On the other side, she was afraid that Olivia would be shocked or disgusted. But right now, she was too powerless to hide her true self any longer. She just let the words affect and waited what would happen next. Silence. She could feel her heartbeat, her blood rushed through her veins. Why didn't Olivia say something? She slowly turned her head just to find hazelnut eyes that intensely looking at her. She searched for any sign of Denial but found nothing but warmth.

She had no idea, that Olivia's heart skipped a beat when she realized what the blonde had just said. Now it pounded twice as fast as normal and the butterflies in her stomach drove her crazy. "Fuck it Benson, if you don't say anything she will think you are crazy" she thought to herself and immediately cleared her throat.

"Oh…that's a really good thing" she blurted out and wished she would magically disappear at the same time the words left her mouth. So many thoughts in her mind and she spoke out the most embarrassing and stupid one. She was sure that Amanda would get up and leave but nothing happened. She just sat there and watched her. God, her Blue eyes made the older woman crazy as hell. She needed to get out of this awkward situation

"I mean…well you know…I am sure lots of women are interested in you…Not that guys wouldn't be interested, but….What I was trying to say is…"

Olivia was cut off by Amanda's Lips that crashed into hers….

Okay guys….that were a really crazy one with ups and downs. After some revelations Amanda just jumped into the water and kissed Olivia. But how will she react? Is it the beginning of something big or will it turn out into a total disaster?!

Stay tuned! See ya…XoXo