And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Yeah, let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
When the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be
Yeah, let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Yeah, let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
You know there's gonna be an answer, let it be

The Beatles

"He took everything away from me. In one second I lost everything; Lori was my lover, my best friend, the only person in the world I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. My son, my baby boy. I planned on coaching his little league team in the spring. My baby girl. I never got to hear her giggle. I'll never walk her down the aisle. The only time I held her was in the emergency room. She was hanging on by a thread, and there was nothing anyone could do. I sang 'You are my Sunshine' to her, and she took her last breath in my arms."

Rick took a deep breath before he continued. "You would've loved Lori. She was so beautiful. Nice to everyone. Kind to a fault. She had a sense of humor that I've never met before. She accepted me, warts and all. She saw me for me, and didn't run away."

The passion and anger diminished, leaving nothing but sorrow. Rick leaned his head against the sun-warmed window. "What's worse is it was my fault." I told her that I'd stop at the store on my way home and pick up the damn things from the store. Then Shane and I were called to a carjacking, which made me late. Then we were called to the scene of a bad car accident. I saw the car as soon as we pulled up. Some asshole teenager was texting and blew through the stop sign. He T-boned my family. Carl was decapitated. Lori was knocked unconscious. I wrestled with the seat belt to free her and try CRP. Shane tried to pull me away. I pushed him back. Lori was still warm. I tried mouth to mouth, and I saw her water break. She was limp in my arms. I tried to tell her I was sorry. There wasn't any sign of life. I begged her to open her eyes."

Michonne could feel the weight of his pain, even as she shuddered in fear over the mention of an emotion she would never understand. There were times she wished Rick had never walked through her door, those times involved the mention of a loss so terrifying that fear threatened to choke her. She couldn't imagine anyone learning to live with that. But Rick had this life handed to him. That was how she knew that he would get past this, if he could live with that type of grief every day for years he could learn to forgive himself and work past his heartache.

She stood, walked over to her patient; instinct once again had her breaking all the rules, and slid in to the small space he'd left next to the window. Michonne saw the raw anguish and half-shed tears on his face and wrapped her arms around him.

Rick stood stiffly for a moment before his entire body began to shake; his arms engulfed her, and dragged her to the floor with him as his legs gave way. She held on; her knees painfully smacked the floor, her legs folding under her gracelessly and in a way that was guaranteed to be equally painful later. But she refused to let go.

She rocked him back and forth like a child. Her shirt was soaked with his tears. She crooned nonsense, stroked his back, whispered that she was there but never once told him it would be alright.

It felt like hours later, and for all Rick knew it could have been; when he became aware of where he was and who was hugging him. He drew a ragged breath in through his mouth; it only served to emphasize how raw his throat was, and leaned back.

He was shocked to see that Michonne's face was covered in tears too. As that thought registered he could the damp cloth of his shirt clinging to his shoulder, and the nape of his neck. He didn't know what to say, he felt relived and uncomfortable all in the same breath. This was the last thing he expected to happen when he'd arrived today.

Michonne slid back a bit and leaned over, reaching for the box of tissues that rested on a nearby stand. She didn't know what to say, she had never been such an intimate part of a client's grief or felt so rewarded for being allowed to share it.

Rick gratefully accepted the proffered tissue box; turned away, blew his nose and dried his eyes. He pushed himself back against the wall and watched as Michonne carefully moved her legs.

"So what do we do now?" She asked calmly.

"I miss them. I miss them every fucking second of every fucking day." He was drained…so wrung out that his skin felt brittle.

"I know you do, but that doesn't mean you can't have a life or friends."

Rick leaned his head back against the wall. He knew she was right, he wasn't stupid but that didn't mean he didn't need to hear it from someone else. "Her name is Beth and…we went out for coffee a few times. She makes me feel…and I know, I know, but I like talking to her…"

"But you feel guilty."

"Yeah."

"I know this sounds boring and you have heard it a million times before, but I am telling you the truth when I say that happens to anyone who has lost a loved one. I am also telling you the truth, and you know deep within yourself that this is true too, Lori wouldn't want you to live this way."

"I know that too, but I can't breathe, sleep, I close my eyes and I see her smiling, laughing, her face flushed with love and passion. Then I see her dying. I feel her blood pouring over my hands and soaking the knees of my pants, I smell it despite the rain and the mud. Here," Rick pounds his fist against his chest and then his forehead. "Always, it's been two years but I still see it now. I still see the red water that soaked her pants and… "

Michonne didn't know how to respond to that, "Rick what you experienced is something outside the norm. Your family's death was senseless. I am not asking you to forget or even forgive but you have to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't your fault."