Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Adele or her songs (unfortunately!)
Santana walks into her shared Spanish style Bungalow on the outskirts of LA, holding groceries in one hand, her purse in the other, while balancing her phone between her ear and shoulder, slamming the door shot with the heel of her Louboutins and wrapping up a conversation with an executive at Hell To The No Productions. That's right, her fellow Troubletone, resident Diva, and Aretha wannabe friend Mercedes Jones had made it big enough in the music business that she was able to fund and support her own record label. After Santana was jerked around by a big time label and put out a CD that was entirely wrong for her, Mercedes immediately called her to rekindle their friendship and sign Santana to her label.
That was close to 3 years ago, and now the two were closer than ever. It took a while for them to reconnect. After high school, Mercedes went straight to LA and hit it big. While Santana struggled to find her way after Brittany left her. She did the New York thing, but when the band didn't work out and when she realized she wasn't really cut out for college, she took what was left of her mom's money and bought a one-way ticket to LA. Santana made ends meet by working as a secretary at a law firm, and singing in bars at night and living in a very sketchy, very dirty one bedroom apartment…with two other roomates. One night a producer from a label liked her sound, and the rest is history.
"Yeah, John, I got you" Santana says while releasing her purse to the ground and bringing the groceries into the kitchen, "Two small magazine interviews tomorrow, a phone call with Rollingstone on Thursday and Kimmel Friday morning. I got it. Yup, Cedes is coming with me to Kimmel." She slowly and quietly starts putting away the items she bought while listening to John, "I was thinking Sweetest Devotion for Kimmel, that will probably be my next single after When We Were Young. Okay, yup, got it. Talk soon." The Latina lets the phone slide into her hand and she takes a deep exhale as she places the phone on the counter, and slides it out of reach.
"Long day?"
"Holy shit, Cedes – where did you come from?" Santana grabs her chest as Mercedes walks into the kitchen laughing.
"I was working in the garage when I heard you car pull up" the diva walks over to the fridge and grabs a bottle of coconut water. "I heard the interview with Seacrest – you sounded really good, girl. That song is tight. This album is going to be HUGE. We might actually have to plan an North American tour for later this year."
The Latina turns to her friend with wide eyes, "A whole tour? Cedes, come on it was one interview. Let's not count our chickens, now."
"Well, after that one interview, When We Were Young sales went up by 60%. They love you, San. They love this sound."
"Yeah, well, like Anna Nalick once said 'these words are my diary, screaming out loud'…" Santana mock plays the piano.
"Solid music reference, Lopez" Mercedes sidles up next to her friend at the counter, and Santana reaches for a sip of her water, "How was it really? I mean talking about your actual inspiration for the music? I was surprised you divulged as much as you did."
Santana takes another sip of water before wringing her hands together, "It definitely wasn't the easiest, but my mom was right. I basically act like Brittany is dead, and I know some of the gleeks still keep in touch. Just because Brittany and I aren't together anymore, or the fact that I might not ever be over her, doesn't mean that there has to be some kind of moratorium on her name. She was a big part of all of our lives not just mine."
"That's pretty mature, Santana. But, you know most of the gleeks got your back on this one. And, for the record, I don't think she is over you either."
"How would you even know that, Aretha? Brittany call you for gab sessions behind my back now" the Latina lightly shoves her friend.
"Not to that level, but I do keep in touch with Quinn, who keeps in touch with Rachel, who keeps in touch with Tina, who lives in Dayton with Mike, which is where Brittany works now and they still see Brittany quite a bit."
"Ugh, that chain of people just made my brain hurt, condense it for me."
"Apparently, Tina told Rachel that Brittany hasn't seen anyone seriously since dating Sam, and even when she and Sam were together their first year at Ohio state it was and I quote 'uncomfortably platonic'. She went on to say that Brittany still religiously wears a certain Louisville cheer sweatshirt, and a particular charm bracelet has made it's way back into the rotation". Mercedes raises her eyebrows at the smaller girl, and the Latina subconsciously grabs her wrist.
Santana rolls her eyes in response, "That doesn't mean she isn't over me. That just means she hasn't found someone she wants to be with, and that she finds that Louisville sweatshirt comfortable. Brittany and I haven't spoken in, I don't know, two years. And, I can't be the one to reopen that door." The Latina shudders and puts her head in her forearms on the counter. "Why can't I just get over her?"
Mercedes shakes her head, not really knowing how to answer the question that has plagued her friend for the past 7 years. Every relationship Santana got into never lasted and even if the girl seemed promising, there was never the same light there was with Brittany. Some people would call it a spark, but light makes more sense, sparks fade and what Brittany and Santana had didn't seem like it would ever fade. Brittany made Santana who she is, and vise versa. No one in the glee club had ever seen the two girls as happy or as whole than they were together.
"Maybe you can't get over her because she is your and I quote epic love. Maybe you're supposed to chase that. Santana you have been head over heels in love with this girl since I first met you! You can't tell me that you're willing to just let that go. Your love was too big for high school, it wasn't meant to work then, but it might be meant to work now."
"It's her turn to chase me. I went to Louisville for her, I left Louisville for her, I offered to stay in Lima for her, I called her when I signed with Hell to the No. I am done making the last ditch efforts. Fuck, I wrote an entire album about her. She can figure out where to find me."
With those words, the Latina stalks out of the kitchen and retreats into her bedroom. Mercedes picks up her phone and sends out one text, to a number she is surprised to find she still has in her phone.
Santana slams her door and sinks to the floor, uncontrollable sobs wrack her body as thoughts of Brittany flood her mind. While she found the whole process of writing her album cathartic, it also gave her a new way to pretend she was dealing with the fact that she was still in love with her best friend that she met after the first day of summer cheer tryouts her freshman year.
Flashback
"Alright sloppy babies, I am utterly nauseated at the thought of having to watch you attempt another one of my storied routines with that kind of talent. A majority of you don't even have enough rhythm to join the retirement center in their yearly polka dance. The following people have a second try out with my full squad tomorrow, the rest of you need to immediately get out of my sight before I go into a black out rage: Jesus Lover McBlondey, Salsa Caliente and Tweedledum." The tyrant of a cheer coach screams down from her spot on the bleachers, while sporting a lime green tracksuit. She points down to three different Cheerio hopefuls and nods her head to join her.
Two blondes make their way through the field of over 25 hopefuls, as does one olive skinned brunette. The first blonde is Quinn Fabray, who transferred to the McKinley school system in 8th grade known for her devout Christian ideals, perfect grades, and killer smile that made all the boys want her. The brunette was Quinn's best friend and definitely worse half, Santana Lopez. Unlike Quinn, Santana was known for her less than Christian values, her sharp tongue and her mean left hook. She claims to be born and raised in Lima Heights Adjacent, but in reality her dad was a doctor and mom a successful lawyer. The third blonde was unknown to either Quinn or Santana, she was the tallest of the group standing at 5'8. She has bright blue eyes, long blonde hair the color of corn stalks and legs that wouldn't quit.
Santana, who was supposed to be paying attention to what the coach was telling the three girls, couldn't help but stare at Brittany. There was something about the blonde's energy that pulled the Latina in, she wanted to know more about her, hell she wanted to know everything her. Eventually, Santana was called to attention by Quinn's voice.
"I'm Quinn Fabray and this is Santana Lopez, welcome to Lima" Quinn extends a hand to the other blonde.
"Hi! My name is Brittany S. Pierce. I actually didn't even mean to try out for the cheerleading team. My mom dropped me off this morning because she thought this was the dance studio, but I thought why not!"
Santana laughs at the girls charm and she never laughs at anything, the blonde locks her blue eyes with Santana brown ones "What's your name?"
"Um…it's Santana, Santana Lopez."
"Well, Santana Lopez, for some reason I feel like we are going to be very good friends."
Santana crawls over to her bed and reaches under and pulls out a box marked with a very small cursive B in the bottom left hand corner. She lifts the top to expose years' worth of memories. Photos all through high school, notes passed between class, love letters the girls wrote each other the first few months Santana was a Louisville, movie ticket stubs, receipts from dates.
Every thought that invaded Santana's thoughts reminded her of every lyric she ever wrote down about the blonde. Now those thoughts and lyrics were being interrupted by Mercedes words Your love was too big for high school, Maybe your love is meant for now. Was Mercedes right? Was Brittany endgame, just like everyone had expected years ago with linked pinkies, whispered secrets in the back row of the choir room
No. The blonde pushed her away too many times. That door has to remain closed, the wounds are barely healed, they probably won't ever be healed, but Santana had survived enough rejection from that girl to last a lifetime. She stood up, wiped off her jeans, picked up the box and returned to the kitchen, where the nodded at Mercedes who still sat at the counter and promptly threw the box in the garbage.
AN: Let me know!