AN: Sorry for the long wait! I am a basketball coach, so the winter is an extremely busy time for me. Hopefully I'll be able to update each of my stories each month! Don't worry, I am definitely not going to abandon them.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any copyrighted material mentioned.
Just under ten minutes later, Brittany finds herself outside the doors to The Down and Out. She enters the bar and quickly finds two patrons she recognizes. It wasn't very difficult, unsurprisingly, the bar is relatively empty at 3:30 PM. Frankie gets up and makes her way towards Brittany.
"Thank you! Thank you so much for coming" Frankie eyes tell Brittany that she has been struggling with Santana, "One minute she is totally fine and slinging back shots, and the next minute she is crying saying something about Songbirds, ranting off in Spanish, and talking about somebody in a wheelchair. Hell, I think she was even talking about Taylor Swift." Frankie looks back at the booth where Brittany notices a small brunette with her head on the table, Santana seemed to be asleep. Brittany's heart begins to ache at the things Frankie is mentioning. If Brittany followed the train of thought correctly Santana was crying about four things – prom junior year, her Abuela, Brittany choosing Artie and the time she broke up with Brittany during the blonde's second senior year.
Frankie looks like she is about to carry on, but Brittany cuts her off quickly, "Yeah, I know, she can be really tough when she gets too drunk. It's no problem, I can take it from here."
The two girls walk back over to the booth and find the Latina stirring a bit, "Hey, drunk as a skunk, you gotta go" Frankie leans over and shakes Santana's shoulder. The Latina grunts and throws Frankie's hands off her shoulder.
Brittany can't help but laugh, "That's not going to work, she doesn't move by force. You try to move her and she just goes deadweight. You have to give her a reason to leave."
Frankie rolls her eyes and gestures towards the drunk girl, "Okay, blondie, you give it a go because nothing I have been doing for the past hour has been working."
Brittany slides into the booth, and hesitantly puts her hand on the brunette's shoulder, "Hey Santana, if you get up and come with me from the bar I have a surprise from you waiting at my apartment."
Slowly and very unsteadily, the Latina picks up her heads and faces Brittany. Her eyes squint as if she is adjusting to a very harsh light, "Wha kin' suhprize?" Santana slurs out.
"Well, I just went to the grocery store and they were having a sale on hot pockets, and I got your faaaaavorite flavor" the blonde sing songs as if she is talking to a child.
"Beeee members muh fav'rit" Santana giggles as she reaches for the blonde, but miscalculates and slumps over in the booth. Frankie rolls her eyes, but Brittany just slides closer to the Latina and puts her arm around the smaller girl's waist.
Brittany's heart begins to pound, this is the first time she has been close to Santana in she can't even remember how long. Her senses are immediately flooded with comforting smells and familiar touches. It was like Santana hadn't changed her body wash since they were seniors. However, Brittany knew it was just the Latina's natural scent. Memories flood the blondes mind, it was if a reel of the two's greatest moments were playing in her mind. It shocked her how easily she could be brought back to the happiest moments in her life. Before she threw them all away out of fear. She gasps for breath and is brought back to reality and finds Frankie snapping her face.
"Alright, Blondie you got her to talk but now can you get her to move." Brittany snaps her eyes up at the dark haired girl and gives her a glare. Brittany from 7 years ago had no glare, but since losing Santana, Brittany's life has had a lot less light and it was easier to bring out her edge.
"San, do you think that you can get up for me, so we can go back to my apartment and have hot pockets, what do you think?" The blonde rubs her hand up and down the Latina's back to give her some comfort.
Santana's eyes snap up and meet Brittany's for the first time. Without warning, Santana's eyes fill with tears, "You shunnit be here. You left. You shunnit be here. You chose him. Why Bee? Why?" The tears pour out of the brunette's eyes, which was Brittany's greatest fear. She knew the brunette to be a weepy drunk, but she was hoping to avoid the water works until they got back to her apartment.
"I know I left, Santana, and I am so, so sorry. But, I am here now. I want to help you right now, okay? Please, let me help you." Brittany looks directly into Santana's deep, dark brown eyes and tries to express her honesty, "Frankie here has to go on a big date, so why don't we get you home and I will make you some hot pockets."
Santana takes a deep breath and slowly nod, "Dey bedder be meatball."
Brittany lets out a sigh, she feels like she avoided a ticking time bomb. The blonde slides herself out of the booth and turns to extend her hand towards the Latina to assist her out of the booth. Brittany is preparing herself to have to support the Latina physically almost all the way back to her apartment.
Santana reaches her hand and latches onto Brittany's "Puzzle" the Latina murmurs with her eyes zeroed in on the pair of hands intertwined in front of her. The Latina twists the pair of hands in front of her eyes, as if she is just seeing them for the first time.
"What did she say" Frankie cuts in.
"She said puzzle" Brittany looks down and slowly pulls the Latina into a standing position. Santana wobbles like a deer on ice at first, but she seems to be coming back to. "She always said our hands fit together like puzzle pieces."
"That makes me want to vomit" Frankie replies snarkily.
The ten minutes it took Brittany to get to The Down and Out from her apartment, turned into 30 minutes trying to drag along a very drunk and very goofy Santana back to her apartment. On the way back, Santana's weepiness soon turned into giddiness. She wanted Brittany to interchange from skipping, to avoiding stepping on cracks and soon Brittany was keeping the Latina from stopping to look in every store window to wonder if she waited long enough if the mannequins would wake up.
"Hold on" Santana is staring at a mannequin sitting in Madewell's window, "I really think she might have moved." Brittany can't help but laugh. However, she realizes Santana is slowing coming back to a sober reality. Santana goes from weepy drunk to almost acting like she is high as she moves through her stages of inebriation.
She watches her ex girlfriend stare at the mannequin in the window and it brings Brittany back to one of the first times she visited Santana at Louisville,
"Come on baby B, take one more shot" Santana stage whispers into Brittany's ear. The bass from the music in the frat house drowned out most of the noise, and Santana had been whispering in Brittany's ear all night. Not only did help them communicate, but it also distracted Brittany to no end. Having Santana's hot, smoky, raspy voice in her ear all night motivated Brittany to get the Latina back to her dorm room.
Brittany giggles and loops her arm tightly around her girlfriend's waist, "I think we have both had enough, San." Santana rolls her eyes at the blonde, but Brittany sees the wobble in Santana's knees and the glaze in her eyes showcasing that the smaller girl was definitely drunk.
"You're lucky you are so hot," Santana husks as she pulls Brittany in for a heated kiss. The kiss took Brittany by surprise. Sure, she and Santana have been out and happy together for almost a year, but the blonde was surprised that Santana was so open in her new community. Without thinking, the blonde returns the kiss and pours all her desire and emotions into her girlfriend's lips.
"Hey, lezzies, you might want to chill out before you give the entire men's basketball team an aneurism. I don't think Coach Pitino would be too pleased" Santana and Brittany's lips unlock with a loud pop and they turn to see one of Santana's teammates giving them a cocky grin. Behind the cheerleader, Brittany see's a bunch of tall guys staring at her and Santana with their mouths hanging open.
"ELAINIEEE!" Santana squeals and jumps in the girl' arms, "You stupid bitch! Britty, come here and meet my friend Elaine, fellow Cards Cheerleader, fellow member of Team Lez, though she claims that she is bi." Elaine rolls her eyes and shoves Santana lightly, "Watch it girl! I am just saying that I don't think your conquest to hook up with every experimenting college girl screams bisexual." Brittany sees the way the other brunette looks up at her girlfriend and a ball of jealous fire bursts in her stomach. Brittany immediately slides up next to Santana and possessively takes her in her arms.
Brittany slides her arms around her girlfriend's midsection and rests her head on Santana's shoulder, "It's nice to meet you, Elaine." Brittany starts to lay a trail of wet open mouth kisses up and down Santana's neck. "Whattya say we get out of here, Tana?" Brittany breathes into the girls' ear before lightly taking Santana's earlobe between her teeth.
"Bye, Elaine" Santana grabs Brittany's hand and pulls her through the crowded part and out onto the streets of campus.
As the cool air hits the girls, it becomes very clear just how drunk the brunette truly is. Brittany is doing her best to keep Santana focused on the goal, which was getting back to Santana's dorm room. Lucky for Brittany, it was a pretty straight shot from the frat houses to where Santana lived, so she remembered the walk over. Unfortunately for Brittany, Santana wanted to give her a "brief" campus tour. They winded up walking past a cast of the famous statue "The Thinker" located on Louisville's campus. Santana slowed down and started trying to block herself from the statue using Brittany's body.
"What are you doing?" Brittany asks while giggling at her girlfriend.
"That fucking statue is perving on us, B" Santana states.
"What are you talking about, it's a statue" Brittany says to her girlfriend while trying to forcibly direct her back towards the dormitories.
"I swear, wherever we move, he checks us out. I don't want to be objectified by some statue" the Latina states with such conviction that Brittany can't help but find it adorable.
"How about we get you home, so I can objectify you?" Brittany says in her sexiest voice she can muster.
Santana's eyes darken, and she seems to sober almost immediately.
Santana wakes up and rolls over. She inhales and immediately bolts up in bed. She is in Brittany's room, she would never forget the smell of Brittany. The brunette quickly whips her head around for a sign of the blonde, she quickly realizes sudden movements are not her friend as her head pounds with the unmistakable pain of a hangover. Slowly, the Latina gathers herself and her thoughts. The last thing she truly remembers is being with Frankie at the bar. So, how did she end up in Brittany's apartment? Santana realizes that over thinking also isn't helping her hangover, so she tries to calm down.
The brunette takes some time to appreciate the blonde's bedroom. She can tell the blonde recently moved in, there are still boxes on the floor and clothes hanging on furniture, but the room also had such a distinct Brittany quality. The color scheme and the almost girlish vibe reminds Santana of the blonde's room throughout high school. There are pictures of Brittany's parents and sister scattered in frames as well as a growing pile of stuffed animals in the corner. But, one picture catches Santana's eye. It sits in an unassuming black frame on the bedside table, hidden by an empty water glass, the blonde's iPad and a few candles. It's a picture that Santana is very familiar with.
It's a photo from Regionals during Santana's senior year at McKinley, where the New Directions beat out the Warblers to move on Nationals. In the photo, taken by Brittany's mom, Brittany stands behind Santana awaiting their results. Brittany is holding Santana's hands next to the brunettes face and the photo caught Brittany laying a kiss on the crown of Santana's head. Seeing the photo again made the brunette's heart clench. While Santana is lost in her head, she hardly hears the door opens and Brittany enter the room.
"Hey, um, how are you feeling" the blonde asks quietly. Santana's head snaps up and her eyes meet the blondes. Santana's heart clenches again when she hears the fear in the blonde's voice and the nerves that shake her vocal chords. All Santana wants to do is walk over to the blonde and wrap her up in her arms and get back to the place the photo brought her but it is too hard.
"Not stellar, thanks for helping me out. I will get out of your hair." The brunette jumps up and makes her way over the chair in corner of the bedroom to retrieve her purse and jacket that were delicately hung up.
The blonde eyes dart around and she starts to get nervous, "I thought maybe you could stay for a bit…" Brittany nervously looks up at Santana, "I promised you meatball hot pockets and they are ready to go and I thought maybe we could talk for a bit."
Santana lets out a heavy sigh. Brittany being here was so confusing for the brunette. Hell the reason she wound up drunk in the middle of the afternoon was because of Brittany showing up. A part of her really wanted to stay, but an equal part of her wanted to leave. Santana wasn't sure if she could handle spending one on one time with the blonde just yet.
"I don't think that is a good idea, Brittany" Santana says slowly and immediately hates that she brings sadness to Brittany's face. "Look, I know we are going to be working together and we have to be adults about this, but it is really hard for me to be around you." The Latina gets her jacket on and slowly makes her way out of the room.
Brittany follows behind her and as Santana reaches for the door, Brittany's voice interrupts hers "Santana, wait, I just need to say something. Well, I need you to hear something." The blonde begins to twist her fingers together, something she has always done since she is nervous.
"I um just want you to know that I didn't know you were the artist I was auditioning for, if I had then I absolutely would have told you that. I never wanted to catch you off guard." The blonde takes a deep breath, "But, I know that this whole episode was a reaction to seeing me and that kills me, Santana. It kills me that you felt like you needed to drink yourself into oblivion because I am around you. The only other time you have drank because of me was when you would try to forget about us sleeping together in high school. In my entire life I never wanted to be the reason to cause you pain, and I keep fucking that up no matter how I hard I try not to." Tears well into the blondes eyes and she slowly starts to get caught up in her emotions and words are hard to come by.
"Brittany, look, I…" Santana begins but she is immediately cut off by the blonde waving her hand.
"Just let me finish" the blonde states before taking another deep breath, "If me being here causes you this much pain" the blonde pauses for a minute, "then I will leave. I don't want to cause you anymore unwarranted pain."
Santana freezes at the blondes words, of all the things she was anticipating hearing out of the girls mouth, her leaving was certainly not one of them. A flurry of thoughts run through Santana's mind. Brittany leaving would mean that Santana could truly concentrate on her tour and not waste time trying to understand the blonde's reentrance in her world and she could maybe actually move one, but Brittany leaving also meant Brittany leaving. Again. And, Santana wasn't sure if she could handle that. Maybe this was a time for her to get over the blonde in an intimate way, but still have the blonde in her life. Both were appealing and both sucked.
"Brittany" Santana starts, "This tour is as big for you as it is for me, and I don't want you to throw away a dream because I am immature. We haven't been together for a really long time. I need to grow up. You don't have to leave. We can be professional."
Brittany seems to sigh a breathe of relief, but then another emotion takes over her face "Santana, I don't just want to be professional. I miss you. A lot. I've missed you since the moment you left. My life has never been as fulfilled as it was when you were a constant presence in it."
"Well whose fault is that" Santana snaps at Brittany and she realizes that was the first moment when their conversation turned contentious, but Brittany doesn't waiver.
"I know that, Santana. I know that the majority of the past seven years is my fault. I am not asking you to forgive me. I am not asking you to start over. I am asking for us to start again." Santana is looking at the floor, trying not become overwhelmed with her emotions. "Santana, please look at me" Santana's eyes slowly meet Brittany's, "We were best friends. The best of friends. I need you in my life, in whatever way you are willing to be. I am not going away again."
"I just need to get used to this" Santana gestures between the two girls "whole thing. I hope you can be patient with me. I am going to have bad days that remind me why I could write this entire album. But, I am willing to try to start again, as friends..in time."
Brittany beams at the brunette and moves to hug her, but then thinks again, "Thank you, Santana. I just really want to get to know you again."
Santana returns the blondes smile, "That would be nice, Britt. But, I have a lot of questions I need answered – about a lot of things – before I see us moving forward with this. This day has just been a bit overwhelming, so maybe we can try to have a few conversations that answer those questions. Right now though, I need to go home and drown myself in Gatorade and Netflix."
The blonde giggles, "Of course, Santana. I owe you many conversations and many answers." The blonde moves to open the door for the brunette
Santana walks out the door and turns back to wave to Brittany, "Wait, Santana, one more thing." Brittany calls out from her doorway, "You said you didn't want me to give up my dream of dancing. I just thought you should know that I came here to chase a very different dream."
The blonde closes the door and leaves Santana wondering what exactly she meant.
AN2: Would love to hear your thoughts! I also posted a HEYA RPF fic over the holidays called and would love to know what you think about that! There should be an update on that next week! Thanks for stopping by!