Chapter 3 - friend or boyfriend?

After Eric left the diner with Nell he went home to try to get some sleep. He couldn't sleep. He was still thinking about the kiss and what Nell said about that the kiss didn't change anything. He couldn't get it out of his head. Her soft lips against his. It wasn't like 4 years ago under the mistletoe. This time it was different. He couldn't quiet define how, but… it was just different. He looked op in the ceiling. Should he call her? Should he talk to someone? Maybe Deeks? Maybe Callen? No. maybe he should explain to Hetty what really happened so no one would get into trouble. But Nell said a few months ago when he defended her against Granger that she didn't wanted him to defend her.

Nell decided to take a run after her talk with Kensi. She needed to clear her mind. She ran on the beach like she always did but this time she couldn't really focus on the run. There were too many thoughts in her head. After 5 miles she stopped and walked to the ocean and sat down and just looked at the water.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there. Just stirring at the water, when someone shadowed the sun for her. She looked up. A tall thin guy was standing there.

"hey partner." He said and sat down next to her. She didn't say anything. "you okay?" he asked.

"I guess so. I'm just thinking."

"about us?"

"hmm… and work." She said after a while.

She didn't look at him while she spoke. They sat there for a while until Eric couldn't keep back anymore.

"Nell… why don't you want us to date?" he asked. She looked at with surprise. She looked down before she started talking.

"it's not that I don't want to." She was playing with the sand trough her fingers.

"is it that you don't like me?"

"that was not what I said, Eric. You are my best friend. I spend more time with you then with any guy I ever had in my life, and I like that. But…" her voice tailed off at the end. She didn't know how to continue without hurting his feelings.

"but?" he said to get her to continue. She looked up at him with her sweet brown eyes that always made him melt.

"but I don't think we can be professional if we start dating."

Eric look down at the sand.

"you don't think I can be professional."

Nell takes his hand.

"that was not what I said. It's just being in a relationship when we have such a dangerous job is difficult. It hurts me very much when you almost got freltet in the field."

They both starts laughing a little when she says freltet.

"it scared me when almost got killed. I'm not saying it is easy for me, but I think it would be even more difficult for me to handle if you got hurt if you where my…"

"your boyfriend?" he asks to clarify. She looks down and nods.

"year."
she looks up at him again. He is not saying anything.

"you remember first time I got taken hostage in the field. You said that I should never leave ops again?"

Eric nods.

"year I feel that way every time you are send into the field." She looks at him with a sweet look. he didn't realize that he just completely let out his heart to her.

"sorry I didn't mean… I mean I don't want to stop you from being a field agent. I just… don't like the danger you put yourself in when you go in the field."

Nell nods. "that is exactly my point. We both worry a lot about each other now. Do you really think we can stay professional if we were dating?"

"yes." He says without hesitation.

"I'm sorry Eric. I really don't think it's a good I dear. We can't work together if we have romantic feelings about each other. I need to keep you as me nerdy super tech partner that I can talk about everything with."
Nell stands up and brush off the sand of her pants. Eric look shocked at her.

"your nerdy partner? That's how you see me?" he sounds very offended.

"I'm sorry Eric. It has to be that way when we work together."

She walks away from him.