AN: Just a quick update. Wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't abandoning this story.
Disclaimer: I do not own glee or any copyrighted material mentioned. Also, I am unbetaed. All mistakes are my own!
Brittany cannot wait to get in the studio and just dance. The last day and half felt more like a week with all the changes happening, the people popping back into her life and her ever growing feelings for Santana. Well, were they really ever growing or had they just never ceased to exist? Brittany couldn't help but fall right back into place with the Latina, even after all these years.
Seeing Quinn again had been strange, but also felt really nice in a way. Unfortunately, Santana did not feel the same way.
Flashback
"Quinn?" Santana's voice and the obvious surprise and disdain ripped through the conference room.
"Hi, Santana." Quinn stood up and made a move towards the Latina, but stopped short. One couldn't help but notice the unreceptive body language of the brunette, "Um, it's really, really good to see you, S." The nickname flowed out of Quinn's mouth and Brittany could since the sincerity in her voice.
Wait, she thought to herself. What is with this tension? Haven't Quinn and Santana been best friends since they lived in New York together? Brittany's blue eyes darted back and forth between what used to be ⅔ of the Unholy Trinity. Santana's face was stoic, unmoving, unrelenting in her obvious displeasure in seeing the other blonde.
"What's going on, Cedes?" Santana looks at the Diva as if Quinn is made of air.
Trying to cut the tension, Mercedes motions for everyone to sit down. Brittany notices Artie sitting in a corner surrounded by papers and sitting behind him is a huge storyboard.
"Well, this meeting was supposed to be rather informal and I just wanted to introduce you to Hell to the No's most recent hire in the legal office" Mercedes motions to Quinn and Santana scoffs, "but then Artie rolls in with some killer ideas for the video, and it looks like we need to change some contracts, so it's a good thing Quinn is here."
Santana rolls her eyes, "Change in contracts? What do you mean? I thought we settled all this earlier?"
Quinn begins to pull out some new papers from her folder, "Well we had" the blonde begins.
Santana cuts her off sharply, "I was talking to Mercedes."
"Santana" Brittany whispers and she places her hand gently on Santana's arm hoping she calms down.
"Stop, Britt" Santana bites back, "Look, I just want some answers, Mercedes. I am really trying here to understand what this fucking reunion of the Glee Club is all about, and why it seems to be dig up the worst parts of Santana's past and parade them around her like it's no big deal, and I am REALLY trying to keep me cool. So, for my sake, can you please just explain quickly what is going on, so I can get back to rehearsal."
Brittany can't help but feel for the Latina, who is visibly upset and Mercedes eyes have softened, almost like she realizes how difficult this must be for Santana.
"Right, let me explain…."
Mercedes goes on to explain that with Artie's vision for Santana's video, and what it boiled down to was the backup dancers were almost unnecessary, and if anything would detract from the telling of Santana's story, or Santana and Brittany's story.
"So" Brittany speaks up, "Am I out of a job?" Her voice remains even, hoping she has misinterpreted what is going on.
"Oh, no way, honey" Mercedes smiles brightly at her, "I would never let a TroubleTone sister down like that. As we discussed before, you are going to be the principal dancer in the video and um portray Santana's love interest. You are also invited to tour with us, if you so choose. Jordan and V will remain under contract at Hell to the No, but will be used as our studio dancers. We talked to both of them before lunch, and it seems like they were fine with the idea of being able to stay in LA and go on auditions, while remaining on our payroll." Brittany let out a sigh of relief. Her first thought was that without a job she would have to move back to Dayton and away from Santana.
Santana's demeanor hasn't changed as she takes in what Mercedes is saying, "Fine. Whatever. So this mornings rehearsal was an absolute waste. What about all that bullshit about me having to show my repertoire and my ability to sing stuff outside my comfort zone?"
"Well, Artie thinks, and the creative team agrees, that anything outside the scope of this album on tour is going to detract from it's power." Mercedes motions for Quinn to hand her one of the papers, "Album sales are steady and growing since your appearances. You don't need to be anyone but Santana right now, S. Artie is going to find a way to incorporate your dance ability into the video, but really it's going to tell the story of the album."
Santana just nods. Brittany can't help but notice she refuses to even look at Quinn.
"Um" the shorter blonde cuts in, "So, as your new legal representative and with the change in duties, Brittany, I took it upon myself to write up your new contract. Since now you will be the principal dancer and your hours will obviously demand more of you, there has been a significant increase in your salary. There is also a byline that allows you to audition outside the scope of Hell to the No, in case you want to work with other artists."
Brittany's eyes snap to Santana and then back to Quinn, "Other artists?" The blonde says timidly, "That's okay. I really just want to work with Santana. And, I don't need to the raise, being here in LA is enough for me. I mean Mercedes you hooked me up with that apartment, and you're all being so nice to me. Really this is too much."
"Sign it, Britt" Santana's says, her voice a little softer than it has been all meeting. "You want to protect yourself and allow for more opportunities. You deserve everything they are giving to you. Quinn and Mercedes know what they are doing. They have your back." Quinn can't help but smile at the Latina's words and she slides the contract and pen over to Brittany.
"You can take some time to look it over, Brittany, but I assure you everything is in order" Quinn says.
Brittany nods her head, but flips directly to the back of the contract and signs before handing it back to Quinn.
"K, so meeting adjourned" Santana stands up bruskly and makes her way towards the door. Before anyone could say a word, she was gone.
Everyone looks at each other in silence before Artie's timid voice cuts in, "I guess she doesn't want to see the ideas for the video."
Quinn's forehead hits table, and Mercedes lays a soothing hand on her back.
"It will be alright, Q" Mercedes says quietly, "She just needs some time."
Brittany hadn't heard from Santana since the meeting. She had wanted to reach out to Santana afterwards and see if she was okay, but then thought twice about it. Brittany had decided to let Santana dictate the speed and direction of their newly forming friendship. If Santana needed Brittany, Brittany just had make sure Santana knew she was there. Always.
Mercedes had sent out a new rehearsal schedule that was between the studio and an on set location that Artie had picked out. Santana's entire show was 8 selections from her album and the video would be an ongoing reel during her performance. Between songs there would be video clips of her and Santana talking, but most if it would live action shots of the two of them separately and together. Some of Brittany's live action shots would be of her dancing in the studio, others had different focuses. Santana's action shots would be of her writing the songs, or interacting with Brittany in the past. Artie explained it a lot better than Brittany could, but she was excited to see the finished product. The weeks leading up to Santana's tour would be crazy, but Brittany was really excited to be spending time with the girl, even it was forced.
Brittany turned the corner for the studios when she heard music coming from studio 1; she had scheduled herself for two hours of space in studio 3 before her official run through with Santana and Artie. She pulls up outside Studio 1, expecting to see V and Jordan or some other company dancers in there, but instead she sees Santana. Chris Brown's "Yo" is blasting through the speakers, as Santana moves around the room. Brittany is surprised at how natural Santana looks; it is clear she has been working on her dancing since high school.
I don't know your name
But excuse me miss
I saw you from across the room
Santana is mouthing along with the music, as she glides across the floor in her high top Nikes. Brittany can't help but giggle, Santana has adopted the classic dancer look - sweat pants pulled up around the calves, a loose fitted shirt and colorful shoes. Brittany can't help but notice the worn out black sweats with a small emblem "Lima Dance Company", almost invisible to the untrained eye fading on the left hip. They were her sweatpants.
Brittany quietly slipped into the room, just as the song was coming to a close and Santana was distracted by her phone, seemingly to choose the next song.
"Mind if I join you?" The blonde calls out and Santana seems to jump out of her skin.
The Latina glances in the mirrors and sees Brittany smirking behind her, "Damn, Britt. You scared the crap out of me." Brittany drops her dance bag by the back wall, as Santana turns around to greet her.
"I'm impressed, Santana. Those were not the moves of a girl who was afraid to two step tango senior year of high school." Santana blushes of the memory of their final performance in the TroubleTones. It took hours of coaxing until Brittany convinced her she had enough rhythm to handle the tango, along with a few other sultry dance moves the blonde later showed her.
"Yeah, well, after 3 years of singing back up and wanting to make it to the big leagues, I finally had to take some dance classes." The Latina notices how close the blonde is to her, before she turns again towards the speakers.
Brittany gets the hint and steps away from the smaller woman, "So, how are you? I haven't seen you since the meeting the other day." Santana barely glances up at Brittany, "I um didn't realize you and Quinn were um…"
"Not friends...again" Santana replies dryly. Brittany waits for her to continue, but Santana just shrugs, "People grow apart, this isn't the sheltered halls of McKinley anymore. A lot has changed."
Brittany can't help but feel the words slice through her. The double meaning dripping out of her ex-girlfriend's mouth.
"All change isn't bad. Like when Lord Tubbington decided to lose weight and quit smoking" Brittany chances a look at Santana and can't help but be relieved at the small smile on the brunette's face. "Sometimes we need to change to get better, sometimes we need to grow apart to get closer."
Santana can't help but read into the double meaning of her ex-girlfriend's words. "Gets difficult when some people didn't know the growing apart was necessary…" Santana mumbles back, but she is sure Brittany heard her.
"Santana" Brittany almost pleads "Look at me, please." Santana slowly brings her eyes from the floor and finds blue eyes. "I really, really want us to try to start to move forward. I know we have to go at your pace, and believe me I respect that. But, I need you to meet me halfway." Santana scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Okay, okay, maybe a quarter way. We aren't going to get anywhere if every time we are in a room together it's hot and cold. I thought we had a really great time at lunch the other day. I know it was light and easy, but I am willing to do the hard talks, San."
"Did you love him?"
Brittany is caught off guard by the Latina's question. "Sam? Did I love Sam?"
"Yeah" the Latina responds dryly, "Love, did you love him?"
Brittany's eyes shift back and forth. She isn't sure what kind of answer the Latina is looking for here, but she decides to go with honesty, "Yes, I loved him." The Latina winces at the answer, but then just nods her head as if computing the information.
Without saying another word to the blonde, Santana walks back to the speaker grabs her phone and begins to make her way out of the studio. As the Latina goes to grab the handle, Brittany's hand closes around her forearm and turns the brunette to face her.
"He was safe. He made the hurt of you leaving a little more tolerable. He numbed me. I loved him because he made it a littler better. He made me a fraction the degree of happy you did, and it felt good. I loved him like I love Mike or Tina. I loved him like a friend, who did everything he could to make me feel more whole." Brittany was breathing heavily as she desperately tried to make Santana understand. "I was never going to fail with Sam. He was predictable. I knew everyday there would be an impression, an average performance in Glee, a lot of studying because neither of us were all that smart, and there would be someone to hold me. He made it okay to not be special. I was never going to hold Sam back from anything. So yeah, I loved Sam. But, no I wasn't in love with Sam."
Santana is trying to process the information and as she is about to respond, Brittany cuts her off yet again. "But, you. You, San. You were unpredictable. You were wild and free. You set my soul on fire. You had all this untapped energy and passion that was overwhelming in the best of ways. You were so much bigger than anything Lima could ever be, and I was so sick of the reason you thought you belonged there. You never belonged to anything average, Santana and that was all I was. So, yeah when you broke up with me it was awful, but I was so relieved that you no longer had to be linked to something so beneath you. I tried so long to just push down the idea that I am meant to be with you because I know that someone so incredible is meant to be with someone as equally incredible, but every day without you was a war. A war against being happy, against being complete, against feeling like I was worthy. You made me special and I am sick of not being special. I might not ever be worthy of you, Santana, but I will fight every day trying to show you that I can be."
Tears were pricking at Santana's eyes. She hated seeing Brittany so defeated and down. THis was the Brittany she show so infrequently behind closed doors. The Brittany that broke her heart to watch unravel. Everyone always assumed that Brittany accepted her plot in life and was okay being know as the ditzy blonde that was only good at dancing, But, Santana knew that those words tore Brittany down more than anything, and soon the blonde just came to believe them. It wasn't until Santana broke down her own barriers and committed to Brittany senior year, that the blonde came alive a bit, but at that point it was too late. Santana wants to grab Brittany and tell her how incredibly special she is and tell her every reason she is still desperately in love with the girl, but she is struggling to piece words together.
Santana begins to formulate a sentence, but before she can she feels Brittany's breath on her face, and the touch of the blonde's forehead against hers.
"I can't help but love you, Santana, and I really hope I am not too late."
Just as Santana's eyes flick up and down between Brittany's lips and her blue eyes, the door behind them swings open.
"Satan, we need you in the conference…" Mercedes voice cuts through the tension as the two girls jump away from each other. "Uhp, sorry…"
"I should go, anyways" Brittany chirps as if nothing happened, but her eyes stay trained on Santana's. "Need to start rehearsing for Artie." The blonde grabs her dance bag and makes her way past her two friends. Just as she is about to exit, she runs her hand up the outside of Santana's right pinky. Caressing the infinity tattoo.