Chapter 3 - Breakfast
When I woke up, the sun was in my eyes, as I had left a window open. I laid there, all I thought about was how amazing last night was. Was it a dream? No, that was better than any dream I could have ever thought of. As I got up, I noticed the computer screen was still on, with the gay tentacle porn still on there. Milliseconds after I saw the screen, I quickly turned my head to see if my jelly boyfriend was still there. He wasn't! All that remained were some of his residue on the bedsheets. "Where the hell could he have gone?", I thought. I decided I would look later, I needed my coffee fix right now. As I was walking towards my kitchen, I began to notice a stream of residue leading to my kitchen, with the smell of Denny's flowed in my apartment. When I walked into the kitchen, the first thing I see is my jelly boyfriend, cooking bacon with his main two arms and preparing eggs, pancakes, and even some coffee with his other tentacles. I decided to sit down at the kitchen table without him noticing me.
As I sat there in the chair, I took this time to really let it all sink in. I had gay sex with some pink ooze that I didn't know what it was even made of. It was rubbing me with dick tentacles and making out with me, and now it's cooking me breakfast?! I checked to make sure he wasn't serving me semen-omelettes like that one episode of Life and Level.
Eventually, I had to yawn, so I did. This startled my jelly boyfriend, but not enough so that the breakfast he was cooking was tossed all over the place or something. "Good morning, sweety!", my jelly boyfriend with an excited tone of voice. "Did you have any good dreams?" I replied, "I couldn't have a better dream even if I tried! In fact, I'm still in the dream!" "Oh, you!"
"Whelp, breakfast's done, let's eat!" My jelly boyfriend brought over all the plates and cups using his tentacles with remarkable balance. He set down a plate with 2 buttermilk pancakes, 4 pieces of bacon, and 2 eggs... sunny side up... on my side of the table. My god, he even knew how I like my eggs!
Apparently he had gotten himself some bacon and pancakes as well. He sat down on the other side of the table and we began to eat. The bacon was nice and crispy, with the pancakes being the perfect compliment. "Wow, this is some serious breakfast! How do you do it, my jelly boyfriend?" He replied, "Ha, well, I have my talents I guess"
"So what are you, anyway?" He went on to explain the whole story of the laboratory, the events that led him to the sewers, and just how long he was in the sewers. He didn't know where he was, he doesn't even know where he is right now, so of course there were some information ceilings.
"But why did you come to me?", I asked. "Well..." He put his silverware down, took a drink of milk from his cup, and looked back at me. "The sewers weren't fun, man. There were mice, rats, disgusting bugs, and shit. Everywhere. That, and I needed some... intimacy..." It was this moment where I felt something touch my bare foot. Something slimy.
I immediately got up, dropping the knife and fork on top of the half-eaten pancakes. "Look, I understand that kind of pressure, but why me?! I have a life I need to live, it's not like we can have sex all the time everyday!" He looked at me in pure confusion. Of course, he didn't know why I had to work, or why the human body couldn't always keep a pure-sex schedule. "Look, I have to go to work. When I go to work, I make sure that I make enough money so we can both live. I can't have sex with you all day, every day. I would like that, yeah. But that's just not how it works in this world."
He calmly sighed, and reached over to my cell phone, and started dialing. "What are you doing?!", I screamed in fear. When the call finally went through, my jelly boyfriend turned on the speakerphone. "Mark?! Where are you!? You're late! This is the third time this month! You better have a good explanation for this!" Then, the most surreal thing I've ever seen occurred right in front of my eyes.
My jelly boyfriend began speaking. In. My. Voice. "Sorry sir, but I've gotten very ill. Something must have bit me on my jog last night. I can't come to work for the next week or so."
I was absolutely speechless. What was there to say? I was watching this bright pink creature that I had only met the night before, talking to my boss, in my own damn voice!
"Well, you had better bring a doctor's note or I swear your ass is out on the curb! Do you hear me?!", I hear my boss say. After my jelly boyfriend coughs for good measure, he resumes the call. He even added a layer of safety by adding a little mucus to the cough. "Will do boss, I can work from home if that's alright." "Oh wow! You never pitch in to help work from home. Maybe you can forget about that doctor's note then." "Thank you boss, see you next time." "Goodbye."
The call ends, with my jelly boyfriend placing the phone face-down on the table, next to his plate of pancakes. "But what- why- how did you- But I-" "It was easy," replied my jelly boyfriend. "I used your DNA to get the exact configuration from your voicebox. I knew I couldn't get away with just staying home without any work at all on the tone of his voice, so I settled on working from home."
This must be the smartest creature on the face of the planet! He knew who my boss was, what my job was, what my voice sounds like, even how to replicate a sick cough perfectly, all from a couple strands of semen?! How is this even possible? Is this even possible?
"Now we can have a little more fun, no?", my jelly boyfriend requested. I saw a dick tentacle slowly wrap around my ankle. I quickly looked up at him and said "You know, let's finish breakfast first. These are some killer pancakes!"
"Suit yourself," my jelly boyfriend replied, casually popping a piece of bacon into it's mouth, crunching and enjoying the flavor while it lasted.