[Recommended by lululillie. Thank you for the review. I could do a lot better, but I've slipped out of writing a lot lately, and damn do I miss it. So I'm trying to get myself back into it. Set just at the end 12x10, so spoilers.. duh)

Also I made a video for Alex too- watch?v=nPvhzbtvn84

Two

Peeking around the corner, Alexis found herself watching from a distance at the three men she considered family. Right now she didn't know what to feel. Once more, her heart felt conflicted. Her mind floating in a river of doubt and something else she couldn't put her finger on. Maybe it was fear...

They had just returned from stopping Ishim and aiding Lily. It had brought to light some interesting things from Castiel's past.

Particularly heaven's initial feelings on Nephilim, how they were hunted and almost disposed of like trash. While Alex's origins were a quite different and unique, technically she still was a Nephilim herself. And the thought of what Castiel had took part in back then... well she couldn't deny it had shook her a little. Yes it was a different time. Yes he was a solider just following orders. And he was still her father. Despite that it still sat a little uneasily with her. She didn't know where to stand. The guilt was eating away at Cas again over the past, and she wanted nothing more than to support him. It still left her at a bit of a loss.

When she had met Castiel, he was still a solider. And she was a mission. A secretive mission he'd been given from directly up top, only very few angels (if any others) knew about it. He didn't even know in a biological sense that he was her father, let alone that she was a Nephilim. She'd been a mysterious blessing to her mother. Alex still wasn't sure of the meaning of her creation and if God had even had a hand in it himself (it was still cryptic). At this point it made her head hurt thinking about the implications and theories behind her origin.

One thing she knew was that she was a unique being, but it still didn't change that a Nephilim was what she had always been.

Her mind couldn't help but wonder, if he had known back then, would he have considered her an abomination? Maybe he never would have grown to care about her as he did, or been ashamed that he unintentionally had been involved in her creation. The thought pained her. Even now as they discussed Lucifer's child. Sure, she couldn't deny the dangers but Alex was pretty dangerous herself. The child only shared Lucifer's DNA, not necessarily his intentions. In a way, maybe her and the child would have a bit more in common than they thought. Power was difficult to contain, especially in a human form. Maybe there was a chance for this kid, as long as they were kept away from corruption. She hated herself for thinking it, but what if he ruthless despatched of Lucifer's child? Where would that leave her?

She shook her head, even she was unsure about this whole Nephilim business. And if it was a choice between the safety of the world and a child, what would she choose?

"Alex."

Brown eyes blinked, Sam had spotted her with a puzzled look on her face. At the sound of her name, both Dean and Castiel had turned to look at her. Taking a deep breath, Alex tried to make it look as if she hadn't been standing there for an eternity, and had been on her way into the room the whole time.

"Err.. Hey," she mumbled, as she slowly drifted into the room, sitting herself down beside Dean. Her face remained blank, trying to stop her racing thoughts from being visible.

"You alright?" Sam asked, a little concerned.

"I'm good," she lied through her teeth.

There was silence for a moment.

"Do you really think we can find a better way?" Alex piped up after a beat.

They looked at her a initially a little confused.

"With Kelly and Lucifer Jr I mean, will we be able to find a better way?" Alex asked, drifting her gaze away a little guarded.

"You heard all that huh?" Dean questioned, taking a swig from his beer.

Alex nodded, "All of it, actually."

"Alex..." Castiel started.

"A Nephilim's one of the most dangerous beings in all of creation, that's what you said right?" Alex looked Castiel dead in the eyes, her eyes showcasing all her insecurities in a brown pool.

"Yes, that is what I said," Castiel kept his voice monotonous.

Sam caught Alex's eye, "Alex, this business with Lucifer's kid is different right. You're not-"

"Dangerous too? But I'm a Nephilim aren't I? And Nephilim are dangerous."

"You learnt to control what powers you had Alex." Dean chimed in.

"To a degree, I guess. But it still doesn't mean I know what I'm doing with it half the time," Alex shrugged with complete honesty.

Castiel looked at Alex, unsure what to say aside from her name, "Alex.."

Alex took a deep sigh, "I'm sorry, it's just been a difficult day and I know not just for me." She looked at Castiel with gentle sympathy. She knew how hard this had been for Castiel. And while she wasn't surprised another angel had turned out to be an enemy, she still wanted to hold out hope for Castiel. He still wanted to find some belonging with them, and in some respects she understood that. But sometimes she felt like he needed a reminder he had a family here too.

"It's alright Alex, I understand," Castiel nodded sombrely.

Alex felt she didn't deserve the kindness, but she accepted it, rising tenderly to her feet.

"Okay, now that's over with... I'm gonna go murder that leftover pizza in the refrigerator," she said with a spark of humour. Dean and Sam just smirked at her comment, everyone feeling better now that the air was cleared a little.

Before Alex completely left the room, she stopped behind Castiel's seated form, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

"Despite my messy feelings on this, we're still okay, we always will be. And I will always be here for you," Alex gently spoke into his ear, before she left him with a gentle kiss on his head. Castiel turned silently, watching her as she disappeared from sight.

One thing would never change. The bond they shared, it would never fade.