6. White, Blue, Green, and Black All Over
White
"Ruby, would you please wait!" Pearl shouted through the swirling waters. She was fatigued and distressed, trying to keep the group together in spite of a difficult battle. The ocean had not been an ally this day – the waters jostled them all apart, and despite their best efforts, it only took one small mistake… one unexpected clash of gem against gem and…
She shuddered and pushed the thought from her mind.
There is no way that Garnet is… gone. They just couldn't find Sapphire's gem, that was all. Yes, we will find her any minute now. She was just poofed, certainly, and was floating around on the sea floor. Once we find her, I can go back home, and if they were lucky, Steven might not have gone to bed. Oh I hope he isn't staying up for our sake, but it would be nice to hug him good night.
Added to her list of emotions, now Pearl felt guilt swell in her chest, thinking about her baby being alone all day. Steven was strong, but he was sensitive. This was supposed to be a standard mission – go in, poof and bubble the corrupted gem, go home. She had no way of knowing if Steven had tried to contact her, her mobile phone securely stored away in her gem, not wanting to ruin it in the depths of the sea. She looked upwards through the water, too deep to make out the surface, but she suspected it had grown dark outside.
Shaking her head, Pearl forced herself to focus. Amethyst swam past her angrily, taking the form of a shark as she scoured the waters for Sapphire. Ruby was swim-walking furiously in a different direction, causing the water around her to boil and disturbing the aquatic ecosystem. The plants wilted strangely in the water, too damaged to live but their danced continued with the shifting of the waters. Pearl frowned, reminded of the crude marionettes that were once popular as a form of human entertainment: lifeless yet animated, a paradox.
"Please, Ruby, if we just make a plan we might find her faster!" Pearl shouted hopelessly after her, running along the bottom of the ocean as fast she could. Ruby only screamed behind her.
"No! I have to find her now! She's alone down here!" Ruby pushed ahead faster, talking to herself furiously, leaving Pearl far behind her.
Pearl sighed. She didn't need to use her lungs, but sometimes she found the human reflex comforting. It helped to stabilize her in moments of duress. Standing still, Pearl turned her head and gazed along the sea floor in every direction.
We could be here for hours… days, even. Honestly, we should just wait for her to reform and she can come back to us. It's foolish to stay down here… but Pearl couldn't say the words aloud, especially to Ruby. Truth be told, Pearl was fearful for Sapphire's safety as well. If she was… gone (Pearl found she couldn't muster the word 'shattered'), what would become of the Crystal Gems?
Pearl realized it was selfish to think this way, but what would she do? She never had the level-headed nature of a leader, none of Rose's confidence or Garnet's composure, but Amethyst and Steven would certainly look to her for guidance… And if they do manage to find her, what will they find? Her gem… or shards? The word made Pearl tense, the lean gem rubbing her cheek as she thought to herself. If the latter was true, and even if Steven found a way to heal shattered gems, could they ever find all of Sapphire? They would never be able to search the whole ocean for countless shards.
The whole ocean…
"Amethyst! Wait, please!" Pearl shouted for the purple gem to stop, and much to Pearl's relief, she stopped and turned towards her.
"What, P?! Get off my case – I'm searching as fast as I can!" Amethyst was immediately defensive. It was impossible to tell surrounded by water, but there was a redness in her eyes that made it look like she had been crying…
"Amethyst… I'm sorry." She placed a hand gently on the purple gem's head (which, Pearl noted, was somewhat awkward given her shapeshifted form).
"I need to go back. Not – " she raised a hand when Amethyst looked furious.
"Not because I think we should stop. But this could take forever. We have an ally who might be able to help. Her specialty is the ocean after all." Realization dawned on Amethyst's fishy face as Pearl spoke, and she nodded in understanding.
"Go. Now! I'll tell Ruby." Amethyst swam away quickly, wasting no time to catch up with the fuming red gem. Pearl turned back and swam hastily to shore, making her way to the nearest warp pad as fast as she could. Mask Island was only thirty minutes away…
Blue
Lapis was reclining on some pillows and blankets on the second "floor" of the barn, which was really more of a makeshift balcony than anything, wrapping up the fourth episode of the fifth season of Camp Pining Hearts. Peridot, she was vaguely aware, was working on her new projects somewhere below. Besides the occasion whirl of a drill, a thoughtful hmm, or the steady clang of a hammer, it was quiet in the country. The sun was almost gone from the sky, some of the horizon giving way to the deep blues and purples that would encapsulate the Earth for another rotation. It wasn't the same as seeing the breathtaking, infinite stretch of the cosmos from Homeworld, a billion stars always in view, but Lapis had to admit, the sky here was beautiful in its own way. The descent of the sun, ever-yielding to the encroaching presence of the moon, sliding gracefully out of view to give its celestial complement an opportunity to reign. And without fail, the sun would return, fruitlessly chasing the moon as if begging it to stay, to share in a dance. But they inevitably drove the other across the horizon, painfully dependent yet irrevocable adversaries.
And then there were the colors that stretched across the planet Earth. The way the sun stained the vista with a million tears, leaving streaks of reds and orange, yellow and magenta, never the same, but never quite new. The moon would eventually overpower their counterpart, evading the chase for another orbital rotation and would wipe away the tears that stained the horizon, replacing them with stars and darkness for miles. The sun and the moon – there were billions of stars and cold dwarfs out there, Lapis knew, but this particular pairing… It was something to admire.
As she sat, looking out into the stars, Lapis was reminded of something Steven had said to her, many months ago: Nothing is still on Earth. Everything's always changing. And, clever like Steven was, he was right. No single night since she began to call this place home has Lapis noticed the sun set quite the same way, the stars come out at quite same time or in quite the same fashion. Sometimes, the sun made the skyline bleed crimson reds, other days were painted in calming greys the whole way through. She would never get that constant, perfect view of galaxies that were ever-present on Homeworld, but Lapis was pretty sure she didn't want the sunset to be perfect. It was… special, this way.
She watched the sun go down for a while longer, peacefully lost thought, thankful she met Steven. If he hadn't been so kind to her, she would never have been able to sit here, free to hate or love, pity or respect, leave or stay as she chose. This was, for the first time in her life, her life. She felt ownership of the way she talked, where she went, how she acted – and all thanks to a simple 14-year old boy, whose heart was always so full and kind.
While thinking of that particular human – her beach summer fun-buddy – Lapis wondered why he hadn't come by yet. He said the Crystal Gems would have been home around "dinner time," which Lapis has noticed is before the sunsets for Steven, usually. She had a bit of a knot in her stomach when she last saw him, her instincts telling her not to leave him alone. It was something she couldn't explain, just an irrational fear – she tried to shake away the feeling.
Leaning over the side of the balcony, Lapis spotted Peridot knelling down outside the Ruby Ship with an indiscriminate pile of parts.
"Peridot – have you heard from Steven?" Lapis called down, trying not to sound worried.
Peridot, who had obviously been deep in thought, jumped a bit at the sound of the blue gems voice and dropped whatever piece of technology she had been holding.
"Ah. Yes, only a bit ago. He sent me a message – allow me." Peridot cleared her throat. Lapis flew gently down in front of the green gem who was fidgeting with her arm-rectangle.
"Hey Peri – The Gems said they will be home late. Can't get ahold of them so no permission. But I found something in the Temple – I think it might be just what you need!" Peridot put a proud fist to her chest and finished by saying "So once the Crystal Clo—Gems. Once the Crystal Gems return, Steven said he will come over. I could actually use his help with a few of these things…" Peridot looked down at her pile of technology thoughtfully.
"Mmm," was all Lapis could manage.
Why am I worrying so much? There's nothing wrong. I just saw Steven and he was his usual, bubbly self. I'm just being paranoid.
"Did you want my help with anything?" Lapis asked, looking down and the gem. Peridot seemed flustered at the suggestion and started to pick up random things off the ground.
"Well, um. No, not right now. Actually, well, maybe… No, no. Maybe…?" She kept picking stuff up and setting them down again, a green blush creeping up her face.
Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on her? Better let up…
"Well, if you need me..." Lapis gave her a shrug and flew atop the silo at the other end of the clearing, facing away from the sunset, studying the blackness that battled for dominance across the sky.
Green
Peridot watched Lapis soar away from her to rest on the silo, a sight she had become familiar with by now. Unless there was company, Lapis tended to gravitate towards the TV, to playing with Pumpkin, or sitting on the silo – usually the choice architecture corresponded with her barnmate's mood, Peridot had noticed. The short gem crossed her arms and looked after her blue companion and was thoughtful for a few moments.
Why am I such a… 'nerd', is that what Amethyst called it? Socially unsuccessful, erudite and preoccupied? None of those qualities seem inherently negative to me, but I am confident Steven informed me of the undesirable connotations associated with being a nerd. Was it this "nerd-like" behavior that always pushed Lapis away?
Snapping back into reality, Peridot was surprised to find her face warm. She rubbed her cheek, studying the are all capable of humility, embarrassment, and mistakes (aside from Diamonds, who are objectively unable to make mistakes). But there was something about the patterns of the warmth on her cheeks here on Earth that was unfamiliar to Peridot. In fact, it was illogical; there was no one here but her, gazing after her blue friend, so what was the utility of humility at such a time?
My ability to emote appropriately must be affected by this planet. Steven would be able to explain this disruption in my expressive reactions,I imagine. Like he had once explained rain, and thunder, and music…
Scratching her chin, Peridot returned to the task at hand. She made a mental note to ask Steven about this phenomenon when he arrived, which must be soon. The sun had almost completely set, which the small gem found surprising. The air had a crisp quality to it at nights around the barn, a stillness that was somehow peaceful and exhilierating. The way the hills rolled gently in the darkness, free of sound and distraction, save what came from the barn, a small enclave in the middle of nothingness… The entirety of it all just exuded potential. The possibilities in such a place were endless, this place made her feel endless, a million opportunities for the next day, the next hour, even the next minute. Here, Peridot felt unstoppable.
Using her gem as a light source, the green engineer studied the parts in front of her, considering the most practical application for such equipment.
Weapons are always useful, but all of the others are pre-equipped with weapons. Transportation was somewhat of an issue, unless the destination was immediately within travelling distance of a warp pad. Maybe modifying and re-scaling the Ruby Ship to a ship that would suit the needs of cross-fusions, and a half-human… Or defense mechanisms? That may be best – but what? Blast shields around the temple? Warning drones when something enters the atmosphere?
Picking up some parts, Peridot smiled as she settled on her first project. She would need pieces from the hand ship and some components from the inside of the drill primarily, and she was sure she could find sufficient screws and bolts around the barn. The trick to something like this was the same as her vehicle, unfortunately – reaction time. Without conscious command, defense equipment might be difficult. The green gem frowned down at the parts she had begun to move to a separate pile, most of which were small sensors and a few securing mechanisms.
No. I can't just give up. There has to be another way… It took some time, fiddling with first a band that covered her wrist like a human watch, but eventually Peridot felt she had come to a compromise. No voice activated nonsense here; with some clever implementation and some seamless and straightforward handiwork, the green gem swelled with confidence as she climbed into the Ruby Ship to find exactly what she needed.
Perhaps another hour of this activity passed, and Peridot was thrilled to already have 7 simple prototypes. The mechanics at this point were crude, all imitations of her own wrist band, all in varying sizes. Besides, the concept was sound – with some aesthetic adjustments and troubleshooting, these could be ready for each of her teammates within a week. The only caveat, to Peridot's displeasure, was that something of this small scale would need to be customized, which would require at least a half-hours time with each gem.
This would be a good place to break in her work, Peridot decided. In fact, the green gem couldn't help but smile when she thought of something Steven once said to her.
Working hard is important, but feeling good is important too. Maybe she would use this time to work on her morps, or even practice her music.
Humming a tune, Peridot scanned the dark skies for her blue companion. There was no trace of the person she sought in the air or on the silo and there was no sound from the T.V. Peridot glanced around for Pumpkin, certain the creature was with her moments ago. Looking behind her, as she suspected their little orange companion was rolling aimlessly in some torn fabric that littered the ground.
Not with Pumpkin, either. Did she leave again? I didn't hear the warp pad activate, but that never stopped her… I wish she would have at least told me where she went…
A tinge of worry entered Peridot's mind, as it always did when Lapis disappeared without a trace. After everything that happened with Jasper, Peridot felt uneasy about Lapis being completely alone. She understood, of course, that Lapis needed space and to be alone, but to be physically gone was another matter.
Just as Peridot was about to yell for Lapis, however, the nearby warp pad activated. The slight swish that disrupted the natural wind swept towards the barn and was accompanied by a familiar flash of light. Wherever Lapis had gone, she had just returned. A bit overly excited with relief and propelled by her general enthusiasm, Peridot rushed over the small hill that separated the barn from the warp pad, only to stop short in surprise.
Where Peridot had expected to see the lithe blue gem stood another gem of similar height and frame, but was white with pointed hair and a graceful poise that never failed to make the green gem feel just a bit smaller.
"Pearl? What are you doing here?" The green gem asked, not intending to sound rude but unable to disguise her genuine surprise. After all, Pearl rarely made an appearance at the barn without Steven, and almost never without the company of Amethyst and Garnet.
"It's nice to see you too, Peridot." Pearl said, a bit too sharply. Pearl frowned a bit at herself – she didn't intend to be adversarial towards Peridot, but the stress and panic of the day had frayed her nerves.
"S-sorry. It's an emergency. We need Lapis... if you think she'll help us." Pearl made no attempt to mask her emotions, simply needing answers, quickly.
"An emergency? Is Steven okay? He was waiting for you – wait, Lapis?" Peridot was now thoroughly confused, and she was becoming more anxious by the minute. It has been many months since Pearl has looked this frantic, during a time Malachite stilled roamed the seas and the Cluster was untamed. Here stood Peridot's most rational ally on Earth, looking defeated and desperate. That was unsettling.
Then there was the other problem to consider… the others had never particularly made amends with Lapis, with the obvious exception of Steven.
"I- Steven – we haven't gone home." Pearl's stomach twisted with guilt at this, but she continued. Now was no time for weakness.
"It's Garnet, well, really it's Sapphire. Look, it's a long story. Garnet became unfused, we think Sapphire got poofed while underwater, Ruby is inconsolable, Amyethyst is blaming herself and now… we can't find her gem. And I'm sure the others won't leave until we do, which is why I haven't gone home." As Pearl concluded the cheap summary of the challenging day, her voice cracked and tears welled in her eyes. She really did not have time to be giving a recap, her heart aching with the possibility that Sapphire was… Garnet was… and Steven, still alone, but there's no time, there's never enough time…
Period needed a moment to process this information, her head whizzing with a million questions but Pearl seemed in no mood to answer them. After another minute of silence, Pearl walked lightly from the warp pad towards the green gem and placed a delicate hand on her shoulder.
"Peridot? Where is Lapis?"
"Oh. Well, um… I was just looking for her myself, actually. I – I thought that maybe you were her, when I heard the warp."
The green gem was still struggling to make sense of Pearl's story, and she couldn't help but linger on all that was left unsaid. How did they become unfused? Why was Amethyst blaming herself – what happened? Why were they underwater? Were the others still fighting, or had the threat been neutralized? Where was Lapis? Would she even want to help them? All of these thoughts just increased Peridot's worries by degrees; she had really come to like The Garnet, and the thought of her being gone caused an uncomfortable lump to form in her throat.
Pearl, exhasperated, simply said nothing and began walking towards the barn, hoping beyond hopes that Peridot had simply overlooked the hydrokinetic gem's presence. They really needed Lapis right now…
Black All Over
Steven sat in darkness for a long time. Pain. Hunger. Pain. Hunger. It was a taunting mantra, flickering on-repeat like a record that reached its final rotation, spinning and spinning and spinning like it was begging to be relieved from turning, but no merciful hand appeared. Each sensation flared through his body in waves, sometimes the pain subsiding as his hunger grew uncomfortable, but the waltz continued until the other took the lead. It was an agonizing harmony that filled the blackness and silence, but only just.
When he first awoke, Steven groaned at his own discomfort. His first instinct was to open his eyes like he might have woken from a pleasant nap, only to blink and realize there was nothing there. Just blackness, complete nothingness. It was as if he was floating through space once again, but this time without his bubble, and he was certain he had gravity here. Just to be certain, Steven groped around his body to make sure the ground was real. Indeed, he found it icy to the touch, but solid.
The more his hands explored, the closer he came back to full consciousness. His mind was regaining awareness, but not the same way you do when you awake from sleep a restful sleep, where dreams and reality gently untangle in the haze of the morning. No, this was just transitioning from nothingness into existence again. He had not rested – at least, not in the traditional sense – but he must have been asleep for awhile. The pangs of hunger that itched through his stomach told him that several hours had passed.
His body felt heavy, so heavy, and he was pressed against the floor on his left side. At first, the cold floor was a relief to his aching muscles and bruised body, but cool became cold and the comfort became shivers. A part of him told him he should get up, but he couldn't find the will right now. Instead, he settled on readjusting very slightly, slowly, stretching his midsection across the floor while using his arm to support the majority of his body weight. At least at this angle, Steven's ribs did not ache as horribly.
For a long time, Steven just laid unmoving in the endless darkness. His eyes were open, but it made no difference. He lifted his free hand, the one not supporting his weight, in front of his face but saw nothing. He couldn't tell where he was and he was struggling to remember how he came to be here. The more he tried to think, the more his head pounded.
What time was it? How long since he had that bowl of cereal? It all felt like ages ago.
I was at home… there was something about a bike? And there was Peridot and Lapis… breakfast, I think? I called Connie? Or was it Lars? Then… and reality came rushing back to him in a flurry of emotions and reflexes. He flew up from a laying position and stared hard towards the void, hoping his eyes would come to focus on something if he tried long enough, but it was to no avail. There was no trace of light in the room whatsoever, only making Steven realize how he had absolutely no sense of space. He felt like he should be claustrophobic, but even the extent of the nothingness was unconfirmed. All he knew is that he was sitting on a cold floor in the darkness, hungry, in pain, and painfully alone.
Now, the hybrid was in a leaning position, trying to piece together what little information he had. His jeans provided a bit of comfort, separating his skin from the cold floor, but his arms were cold. Hugging himself for warmth, Steven didn't know exactly where he was, but he knew exactly why he was here: the Homeworld gems. He had gone unconscious on the beach, at their mercy, and he thought about those last moments. He had been in a lot of pain then, so he tried to inspect his body as best he could without light. Gently, he felt the back of his head and felt a strange crumbling in his hair, which he rubbed tenderly and returned his hand in front of his face. He smelled the particles, although he was pretty sure he already knew what it was. He grimaced.
Blood. Not good.
Next, he inspected his ribs, which were feeling a bit better after the cold treatment and readjustment of his weight. As for the rest of his body, he didn't need see to know that it was bruised and cut in random places. In spite of how bad things might seem, however, Steven could not help but feel a bit relieved that none of his bones seemed to be broken. Broken…?
He gasped and reached down to feel his gem. His heart beat painfully in his chest but relaxed as his fingers gently rubbed the smooth surface of his gemstone, carefully running his finger along the outside where it connected with his flesh. He wasn't cracked, his gemstone was still attached to his body… but there was still much to worry about.
First off, where was he, exactly? The perfectly smooth floor suggested that this was Gem tech. The crisp, seamless floors felt just like the Hand Ship had when he awoke in his holding cell, but without any source of light here there was no way to be sure. His best guess was the blue ship he had seen above the water, but that was only a guess. And even if that were correct, where was the ship? Was he still on Earth, or had the ship already left the atmosphere? He leaned his head back and tried to remember details about the other times he was in space… When he was thrust out into space by the Rubies, it had been cold – even colder than this. The Hand Ship and Pink Diamond's base had more regular temperatures, unlike his present holding place. The closest he ever felt to this sensation was when he got pushed from the warp stream by a robonoid – there was air, but not much, and it was chilly, but not as miserably freezing as drifting through the void of space. There was no way he was trapped outside of a warp stream, he was almost certain, but he patted the floor beneath him against just to reassure himself. Yes – solid ground. Not outside the warp stream. Last time, he was caught by Garnet… Steven gasped.
The Gems! How could I be so stupid?
What happened to them? Did they get captured? What happened after he passed out? Did Connie ever get his message? What if they were hurt? If only he hadn't fallen from that beam… His eyes overflowed in warm tears as the thoughts of his family and friends rushed back into his brain and he wrapped his body inwards upon itself carefully. Pulling his knees to his chest and placing his head down, Steven tried his hardest to control his crying. He feebly tried to calm himself, rationalizing that he couldn't waste his tears: the water supply within his body might soon become a scarce and valuable resource.
Garnet. The note. She loved him. The way she rescued him outside of the warp stream, the way she wiped a tear from under her visor when she found him, hugging him close. He thought he was going to die that day, but only moments later he was snuggled close to Garnet's chest, her soothing voice, her strong and comforting embrace. Where is she? Where is Pearl and Amethyst? Peridot, Lapis? Connie? Dad? Had they taken his Dad, again? Did anyone even know he was gone? Would he… ever see them again?
And Steven sat and cried anyways, his head beginning to pound. He thought the whole episode might be making him dizzy, but any sensation in this suffocating blackness was all wrong. He couldn't understand space, or time, or anything, really. What felt like hours could have been minutes – what could have been an endless room might only be a few meters wide. The only thing he knew for sure is that he was alone with his memories and the warm comfort of his tears.