Summary: Supervisory Agent Harrison Wells has lost complete control over his team and it just goes downhill from there. (No, seriously, it's madness. Spy!Barry and Spy!Cisco infiltrated the rest of the prompts and insinuated themselves into each and every theme through cunning and subterfuge.)
Author's Note: Barry and Cisco can't keep their hands off each other, Eobard is Harrison's evil twin, and Iris and Eddie have a four year old daughter named Rose. Also, Jay isn't completely evil, because I only had seven prompts.
FLASHVIBE WEEK 2016 (1/2)
1. SPIES / SECRET AGENTS AU
Cisco: *runs in the front door* Barry?! Barry, are you here?! We need to hurry!
Barry: In here, is something wrong?
Cisco: I don't have time to explain. We need to leave. Uh, back stairs? No, fire escape.
Barry: What's going on?
Cisco: We need to get to the roof. We've got five minutes.
Barry: Cisco…
Cisco: No time. Grab anything important, I'll get Whiskers in his carrier.
Barry: No, just stop, okay? Whatever this is, I can help, I… I'm kind of a secret agent? Spy, really. It's complicated, but whatever this is, I can help.
Cisco: You're a spy?
Barry: Don't be pissed? I wanted to tell you, but we're not allowed. It's kind of a big deal. Like, getting-sent-to-a-secret-underground-prison-and-never-heard-from-again big deal.
Cisco: Barry, I'm a spy.
Barry: What?! For how long?
Cisco: Pretty much since the day I graduated highschool, but I've only been doing field work for the last three years. You?
Barry: Same here! Well, almost. I was halfway through my first year of college when they approached me. Wait, didn't you say we need to get to the roof?
Cisco: Oh! Oh, right, uh, yeah, my agency sent me a message. My identity's been compromised, we need to jet.
Barry: Right, but before we go – and I'm really sorry I have to ask this, but it's kind of important – who do you work for?
Cisco: That's a good one! I should have asked that. Caitlin is always on me about asking the important questions.
Barry: Caitlin? As in, Dr. Caitlin Snow?
Cisco: Yeah! How do you… Oh. We work for the same people, don't we?
Barry: Who's your supervisory agent?
Cisco: Harrison Wells.
Barry: Me too.
Cisco: That dick! He knew! He knew we were dating. I told him the day I asked you out and he just sat there and smiled, the smug… *gasps* He did this on purpose.
Barry: Did what?
Cisco: He set this up! He sent me the message saying I was compromised. He's playing us, because I told him we're moving in together. This is his idea of a joke.
Barry: So, your identity isn't compromised? Does that mean we can stay here and watch Deadpool like we planned? Because I've been looking forward to this for months.
Cisco: No. We are going to the roof, we are going to take that helicopter back to headquarters, and we are going to give Harry a piece of our minds.
Barry: …You call him Harry?
Cisco: Only when he deserves it.
Barry: So, like, all the time?
Cisco: Pretty much.
Barry: Hey, uh, how long do we have before the helicopter gets here?
Cisco: *looks at his watch* Three minutes, why?
Barry: I don't know, the way you got all forceful and demanding there? That was kind of really hot.
Cisco: Change of plans. We're going to have sex and then we're going to tell Harry off.
Barry: What about the helicopter?
Cisco: It can wait.
*twenty minutes later, tied up in the back of an unmarked van*
Cisco: Yeah, so, apparently my identity really was compromised.
Barry: I figured that out when the men with guns burst into our apartment yelling at us in angry Russian.
Cisco: Sorry.
Barry: It's okay, we all make mistakes. Besides, that was some amazing sex. It was almost worth the hours of torture we're going to have to endure before the extraction team gets us out.
Cisco: Almost?! Was I off my game? Did I do something wrong? Did you not…
Barry: *kisses him* You were perfect. I just happen to really value all ten of my fingers and the Russians always go for the fingers. Like, come on, guys, vary it up a little. Why not the legs or the feet? Sure, I won't be able to walk for a while, but at least then I wouldn't be struggling to use the iPad with my left hand. Have you seen me use my left hand for anything? It's like watching an untrained chimp trying to put a square peg in a round hole.
Cisco: That's fair. Also, if we get out of this, I'm asking you to marry me.
Barry: For real? Why not ask now?
Cisco: Really?
Barry: Yes.
Cisco: Is that a yes as in yes I should ask, or a yes as in…?
Barry: As in yes. I'm keeping my last name, though.
Cisco: I can live with that. Hey, guys, he said yes!
Russian Thug: Zatknees! (Shut the hell up)
Cisco: Well, that's just rude.
2. CELEBRITY AU
Cisco: I wanna be the celebrity. There's an opening for a Latino singer and you know I can wail on the mic.
Barry: But if you're the celebrity, what does that make me?
Cisco: My adoring fan?
Barry: No, I want to be your PA. Then I have to go everywhere with you and do everything for you. Nobody'll question it if I follow you into your trailer. We could be the scandal of the Music Festival. Latino rock star sleeps with impressionable PA.
Cisco: Okay, first of all, that's not that uncommon. Also, as much I love that idea of having you wait on me, hand and foot, you're really more functional as an obsessed fanboy. You can stalk me from the background and if anyone comes after me, they won't even think to take you out first. That way if I get caught, you'll be on the outside, ready to rescue me.
Barry: I do love a good rescue.
Harry: Boys, as amusing as you may think it is to watch this little exchange – this is Allen's mission. You're not going with him, Ramon.
Cisco: Shut up, Harry, you owe us.
Harry: I owe you nothing.
Cisco: We're supposed to be planning our wedding. We're missing a cake tasting right now. A cake tasting. You know how serious I am about cake.
Barry: *gravely nodding*
Harry: *deep breath* Fine.
Barry: Okay, but if I have to be the obsessed fanboy, I'm taking creepy pictures of you in the shower and once we have the intel, I get to sneak into your trailer and have my wicked way with you.
Cisco: Only if you promise to tie me up.
Barry: Baby, I will gag you.
Harry: This is why I didn't want you two to know about each. Not on the desk!
3. SOULMATE AU
Eobard: Tick tock, boys. My brother has ten minutes to call back with an answer, or I start breaking things.
Cisco: He won't do it. Harry doesn't negotiate with kidnappers.
Eobard: But I'm not just a kidnapper, I'm his evil twin. Kind of a game changer. And, besides, *strokes Cisco's hair* you're my brother's favorite.
Cisco: *pulls away* Harry doesn't have favorites.
Eobard: I guess we'll see won't we? *goes back to stand by the phone*
Cisco: I can't believe Harry didn't tell us he has an evil twin. That is so like him!
Barry: *whispers* Cisco, follow my lead.
Cisco: What lead?
Barry: *talking louder* Baby, if we don't make it out of this, I just want you to know that… I mean, I never believed in soulmates. Love at first sight, maybe, but soulmates? Not a chance. Then you ran into my apartment yelling "Barry, are you here?! We need to hurry!" The desperate panic in your voice, it was like the world was suddenly in color and you were the brightest thing there.
Eobard: What is this? What are you doing?
Cisco: I know what you mean, man. I loved you, you were so perfect, but there was something missing. Not from you, but there was this part of myself I wasn't allowed to share with you. Then you told me you were a spy and it was like my heart started beating for the first time. In that moment, I knew I'd never be able to let you go.
Eobard: Stop it this instant.
Barry: I love you so much, baby, we can have a Star Wars themed wedding. I don't care. I just want to marry you. I'll even do the light saber battle at the reception.
Cisco: You have no idea how much that means to me. If you want to wear the white tuxes, I can give you that.
Barry: No, if we're doing Star Wars, it's all or nothing. Jedi robes for everyone – me, you, wedding party, the guests.
Cisco: I… don't think I've every loved you as much as I do in this moment.
Eobard: Oh, for… *kneels in front of them* Go.
Barry: For real? That's it? I've got another ten minutes of that drivel lined up.
Cisco: Hey, our love is not drivel!
Barry: Of course it's not, but I had a two minute long speech devoted to losing myself in your eyes.
Cisco: Aw, and all I've got is three on how good you are at giving head.
Barry: That is so sweet.
Eobard: Are you done?
Cisco: …maybe?
Eobard: Unleashing the two of you on my brother is a far bigger punishment than forcing him to release Snart and his brutish sidekick. I'll find another way, but promise me one thing?
Cisco: What?
Eobard: Pictures of my brother in Jedi robes, preferably holding a light saber. I want to use them for the company Christmas cards.
Cisco: Done.
*five minutes later*
Cisco: So, nice speech you gave back there.
Barry: Yeah. *rubs chaffed wrists* Those were supposed to be my vows, but I guess I kind of spoiled the surprise.
Cisco: Wait, those were your vows? So you… you really think we're soulmates?
Barry: *blushing* Come on, what are the odds? I meet someone that likes all the same things I do, challenges my intellect, loves karaoke and comic-con, and, not only that, but after spending an entire year falling in love with that person, I find out he works for the same secret organization I do, so now I can share absolutely everything with him. I think soulmates pretty much sums it up. Although, I suppose it could also be destiny or…
Cisco: *shoves Barry into closet*
Barry: Wait! We need to call Harry and let him know we're okay.
Cisco: Later. *kisses Barry*
Barry: But... *kiss* ...what if he... *kiss* ...he releases Snart before... *kiss* ...before we get done?
Cisco: Screw it, we've caught Snart before. *rips off Barry's shirt* We'll do it again.
Barry: Hold on. Are we really gonna have sex in the closet of a warehouse owned by Harry's evil twin brother, who just kidnapped us and threatened to break every bone in our collective bodies until Harry agreed to release two very dangerous criminals?
Cisco: Yes. Is that a problem?
Barry: No, just making sure.
4. COLLEGE / UNIVERSITY AU
Harry: This is a very delicate situation. The University can't afford anyone to find out about it. So, I'm going to need all four of you. Discretion is key. I've written up dossier's for each of you. Garrick, you're coming in as a substitute professor. Snow, you'll be his assistant. Allen, Ramon, you're posing as students.
Cisco: This is so dope. I've always wanted to go to college. Can we be in a fraternity?
Harry: No.
Cisco: Can we start a fraternity?
Harry: No.
Cisco: Dick.
Harry: As I was saying…
Barry: Wait, how are we supposed to debrief? It'll look suspicious if we have a tutoring session every day, or if the professor and his assistant keep popping over to the dorms to hang out with us.
Jay: I could hold you after class.
Harry: Boys…
Barry: Yeah, but for what?
Cisco: He could catch me feeling you up under the table. I'll be doing that anyway.
Barry: Disciplinary action would give him a good reason to kick all the other students out of the room.
Jay: I don't really think it would be good for the mission if you two got arrested for indecent exposure.
Cisco: Wouldn't be the first time.
Caitlin: That is entirely inappropriate behavior on a mission, not to mention a classroom.
Cisco: I saw some inappropriate behavior in your lab earlier.
Caitlin: Cisco, you promised!
Barry: With whom?
Cisco: I'll give you a hint. He's 6'2, square jawed and jacked and he's standing right behind you.
Jay: I'm 6'4.
Barry: For real? This I've gotta hear.
Harry: Absolutely not. This is not happening in my office. In fact, *takes the folders back* Garrick, you're still the professor. Ramon is now his assistant, Allen and Snow can be students. There will be no extra-curricular activities. No fraternity. If any of you get arrested for anything even remotely involving your genitalia, I will leave you in jail for a month.
Cisco: *whispering to Barry* He won't. He loves us.
Harry: *ignoring him* Hartley is updating your phones so that you can use those to debrief via secure text messaging. You don't even need to be in the same room together. In fact, with the exception of any necessary subterfuge, Allen and Ramon are never to be left alone together. *sighs* It's like babysitting horny teenagers with boundaries issues and licenses to kill. I envy Agent Lance and his team of mature adults.
Cisco: Oh, no, you do not want in on that drama.
5. FAKE DATING
Cisco: You know, when you called us into your office to tell us you had a mission and you needed two agents to pretend to be a couple to infiltrate a social gathering, I thought were you talking about Barry and me.
Harry: Why would I ask you and Allen to pretend to be a couple when you are in fact engaged? That makes no sense, Ramon.
Cisco: Neither does sending my bea in hanging off the arm of Jay Garrick while I sit in a van, monitoring surveillance with you.
Harry: Jay Garrick has a very unique set of skills that are vital to this mission.
Cisco: And what skills are those exactly?
Harry: He looks fantastic in a suit.
Cisco: That's not a skill!
Harry: Perhaps not. However, it is very good at drawing attention, which will allow Allen to slip away unnoticed.
Cisco: I can draw attention.
Harry: Throwing yourself around the dance floor like a thirteen year old having a seizure is not 'drawing attention' it's embarrassing yourself.
Cisco: It's both.
Harry: That's why I don't give you the classy assignments. Now, if you don't mind, we have a job. Do you have a visual on Allen?
Cisco: …Yes. Yes, I do.
*meanwhile, inside the social gathering*
Barry: Jay, why is your hand on my ass?
Jay: It's a really nice ass.
Barry: And?
Jay: And Dr. Wells is paying me extra to piss of your little fiancé.
Barry: That sounds more like it. … Jay, it's still there.
Jay: I know.
6. OTHER EARTH
Barry: I can't believe the multiverse is real! That's another you! And another me! We're on another Earth! This is so crazy.
Cisco: I guess.
Barry: You guess? You wrote your thesis paper on the viable science behind Sliders. You love the theory of the multi-verse. You should be excited. Why aren't you excited? Cisco, is something wrong?
Cisco: No, it's just… this Earth kind of sucks.
Barry: How does it suck? I'm a freakin' superhero!
Cisco: And I'm happy for you, it's just… I'm… not. A superhero, I mean.
Barry: No, you're a mechanical engineer that makes cool toys to help me beat the bad guys. You love making cool toys. You spend half your down time in the work shop with Hartley, helping him improve, tinker with, and test our latest gadgets. Besides, didn't they say you made the Flash suit?
Cisco: Well…
Barry: Come on, even I have to admit my ass looks good in that tri-polymer. Almost as good as your ass does in those jeans.
Cisco: Hey, eyes over here, Amorcito.
Barry: I'm sorry, are you jealous?
Cisco: Uh, no. What do I have to be jealous of? He's me.
Barry: Then you won't mind if I pop over there and ask them to join us.
Cisco: *glares* Don't you dare.
Barry: That's what I thought. Hey, I overheard the other Cisco say something about extra suits. Want to see if we can find one?
Cisco: Are you suggesting we steal from ourselves so we can study the technology?
Barry: Well, that and…
Cisco: That and…
Barry: *wags eyebrows*
Cisco: Oh, you want to get freaky in it!
Barry: Sh! Not so loud. But yes.
Cisco: Come on, those two look like they'll be busy for a while.
*Earth Prime - shortly after returning Barry and Cisco back to their Earth*
Cisco: Barry, did you borrow one of the spare suits?
Barry: No.
Cisco: Are you sure?
Barry: Yeah, why?
Cisco: There's one missing. I've looked everywhere, but… wait, you don't think?
Barry: That our doppelgangers might have made off with it? Probably. Relax, you can make another one.
Cisco: How many times do I have to tell you guys? Those things don't grow on trees.
Barry: I'll get Chinese and keep you company.
Cisco: At least tell me they stole it for science.
Barry: Soooo, you want me to lie?
Cisco: *breathes deep* Yes.
Barry: Okay, they stole it for science. They're going to use it to reverse-engineer your clearly superior tech.
Cisco: Thank you.
Barry: Then they're gonna take it home for some wild and kinky role play sex. FYI, I caught Secret Spy Cisco taking pictures of your Vibe glasses. What do you think? Does he go Vibe or Reverb?
Cisco: Not cool, man! You are a horrible liar.
7. FAIRY TALE AU
(Rose is Iris and Eddie's four year old daughter. Just go with it)
Cisco: Once upon a time, there was a knight and he met a boy in the village. He thought the boy was very handsome and kind and smart and he fell madly in love with him.
Rose: Like you and Uncle Barry?
Cisco: Exactly, princess. What he didn't know was that the boy was actually a prince. Then one day, soldiers from a neighboring kingdom came and they took the prince.
Rose: Why?
Cisco: Because they wanted something the king had. So, the king called the knight to his castle and asked him to save the prince. When the knight realized who the prince was, he swore that he would do anything to save him, even use his secret special powers.
Rose: Powers?
Cisco: He could manipulate vibrational frequencies in the air around him to throw shock waves out of his hands.
Rose: Awesome!
Cisco: That's right it's awesome. The knight stormed the castle where the evil soldiers were keeping his prince and he threw down.
Rose: Threw down?
Cisco: He beat the shiznit out of 'em, princess.
Rose: Yay!
Barry: *facepalm*
Cisco: Then he used his powers to make sure they could never hurt anyone ever again.
Rose: And did he save the prince?
Cisco: He did and they lived happily ever after.
Rose: Thanks, Uncle Cisco, you tell the best fairy tales.
Cisco: No problem. Now, it's time for bed.
*after Rose is asleep*
Barry: You need to watch the slang. *sighs* Iris had to tell her mofo is short for More Forever. It's so awkward when she yells 'I love you mofo!' in public.
Cisco: I know. *chuckles* It's also just about the cutest thing ever, which is why won't tell her to stop doing it.
Barry: I don't tell her to stop, because then I'd have to explain why. I'm leaving that conversation up to Iris and Eddie.
Cisco: Man, I can't wait till we have kids.
Barry: Wait, you… you want to have kids?
Cisco: Totes! At least one. I'm not up for the whole house in the suburbs thing, but maybe a three bedroom townhome in the city, close to parks and that fancy private school Iris has Rose enrolled in. If it's a girl, we can name her Nora and I'd say Henry for a boy, but I don't know if that's weird 'cause your dad's still alive. How would you feel about…
Barry: *kisses Cisco*
Cisco: What was that for?
Barry: Rose's right, you tell the best fairy tales.
Cisco: It's only a fairy tale if it doesn't come true.