Chapter 16 - Joyride
When I sat in the driver's seat, I was about to close my door when I looked outside the passenger window to find my jelly boyfriend just standing there. When I lifted my head out of the side and over the roof of the car to tell him how to open the door, I saw him staring deeply into the sun. He wasn't squinting his eyes or anything, he just stared at the sun as if it was any other object. He looked like someone who was on serious drugs! "Hey, you pull on the door handle to open the car door.", I yelled at him over the sound of the loud lawnmower across the street.
He looked back down towards the car door, finally understanding what to do. He opened the car door and hopped inside, sitting in the passenger's seat. As we both closed the doors, he looked around in confusion. He wanted to know what all the buttons on the radio, and what the buttons on his door did. He guessed correctly that none of it would have any effect until I started the car. I pushed in the car keys into the ignition before turning them. As the car began to start, my jelly boyfriend screamed in horror as the engine began to rev up. Oh boy, I thought to myself as the car finally started.
"What's wrong, man?", I asked as I looked over at my jelly boyfriend, still shivering in horror. "There's a-a-a-a big m-m-monster that's g-g-gonna eat u-us!" I rolled my eyes as I realized I had a lot of explaining to do. "That was just the car starting up! We can't just go as soon as we get in, we have to start the engine first." He responded in fear, "Wh- Why does it make the big scary noise like that?!" I replied, "Because it's a big machine that has a lot of power, so it has to make a big noise like that for it to start up." I knew I was talking about an old truck I bought on Craigslist a couple months ago, but compared to anything he's seen before, it's a lot bigger than the regular toaster. I placed my hand on his, telling him, "It's okay. Even if it was a monster, I'll protect you any way that I can. I promise."
My jelly boyfriend sighed in relief as he didn't feel threatened anymore. I took my hand off of his and reached over to buckle my... oh! "Oh, by the way...", I said to him as I pointed to the belt buckle next to his head, "before we can move, you have to put on your seatbelt." He looked over to find the belt buckle. He was confused as to what it was for. He reached up with his left arm and flicked it with his pointer finger. "Hey, watch what I do", I told him. He looked over at me as I grabbed my belt buckle. He did the same, mimicing my every movement. We both slowly pulled our seatbuckles down, clicking them for maximum... bucklication?!
As my jelly boyfriend shifted his look forwards, his eyes glazed across the radio. He asked, "What is that?", pointing at the radio. I responded, "I'll tell you once we get moving." I grabbed the stick shift, setting it to reverse, and began to pull out of my driveway. As the vehicle began to move backwards, my jelly boyfriend began to look out the window at the ground moving below us. He looked at the side-view mirror, looking at his own face and reading the 'THINGS MAY BE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR' warning printed on it.
When we were pulled out onto the street, I shifted the gear to the Drive shift, and we began to move. My jelly boyfriend began to take a closer look at the radio. It had two dials on it. One had writing above it: 'VOLUME / PUSH ON', while the other read 'TUNE'. My jelly boyfriend pushed the volume button, turning the radio on in the car. The sounds of smooth jazz began playing. Uh oh.
When we reached a stoplight, I looked over at him. He had a look that was somewhat of a cross between extremely aroused and sad, probably because he wasn't allowed to have sex in the car. I reached over to change the station. My jelly boyfriend began to feel better as different kinds of music went over his ears. Country, Techno, 90's nostalgia... There was one song he liked in particular. All of a sudden, he said "Wait! Stop at this one!" I let go of the dial, beginning to move again as the light turned green.
It wasn't a couple seconds before I realized what song it was: Dead or Alive's 'You Spin me Around'. He's too much like me, I thought to myself. My jelly boyfriend reached over to turn the music up, just enough to not be a nuisance. It was a pretty hot day, so I pushed the button on my door to roll the window down, allowing a nice breeze to flow through the car. "Whoa! How do I do that!?", my jelly boyfriend asked in bewilderment. "There's a button on your door, hold down the lower one!", I yelled over the wind and the music. He looked down to find the button, pushing it to allow some wind to blow on his face.
He stuck his head out the window. Almost immediately, he grabbed onto his head as if it was about to fall off, and rolled up the window. Looks like I'm never gonna do that again, he thought in relief as his head was still on his body.
Eventually, we made it to the Gamestop safe and sound. I pulled the gear to park, and turned the engine off. I looked over at my jelly boyfriend. "Well? How did your first car ride feel?", I asked in curiosity. He replied, "That was so much fun! We should do this more often! So tell me, what do you call that?", pointing towards the grass. For the next 10 minutes, we would sit in the car, as I got to answer all of his questions of the outside world. It was stuff like what the sun was, what the car was, how the car worked, what the streetlights were for. It was really interesting to me. This was someone in the current age who had never been in a car!
His final question, however, is one that I'll never forget. "Will we be able to go on vacation someday, somewhere lonely?" If this was yesterday, I would have said "Probably not", but after all these discussions and these scenarios going down, my answer definitely changed. "Maybe someday... Maybe... someday..."