A/N: Hello everyone! After a long period of dormancy, I've decided to write up another trainwreck of a crossover. This is a mega-crossover crack fic, so while I won't divulge what other works will be integrated in this story, expect to see things outside of the listed fandoms. For those of you who aren't familiar with some of my other stuff, expect lame jokes and memes. Expect lots of memes (though not necessarily in this chapter).
While this fic is rated T for now, there will be some darker elements as the story goes on, so I may change it to M later if I deem it necessary.
I haven't had much time to look at some of the fics within the two primary constituent fandoms, so my handling on the characters might not be the best. Some things might not necessarily line up with the core mechanics of the original works, though I do have a few explanations for some of the discrepancies, even if they might not be the most lore-friendly.
If you have any questions, or would like to state your opinion, feel free to review, and feel free to like/subscribe if you enjoy this.
Without further ado, let's begin.
Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe, Kingdom Hearts, or any of the other original works this story may cross over with. Steven Universe is the creation of Rebecca Sugar/Cartoon Network, while Kingdom Hearts is the creation of Disney/Square Enix.
Connie stood before Steven's residence. Today was movie night, so she had brought the DVD set for the first season of Animal Kingdoms, which was all the rave these days. Connie had not watched the series yet, but she was well familiar with the books it was based on, The Howls of Wolves and Lions. Sure, it had talking animals in it, but it was dark, gritty, and realistic, though the later books seemed to drag on for too long without much actually happening.
Today, it was Pearl who answered the door, "Good afternoon, Connie! Are you ready to begin today's training session with Steven?"
"Of course!"
"Come right on in."
As Pearl sidestepped to let Connie pass, she turned to the alcove above, where Steven and the others seemed to be watching something on TV.
"Steven!" Pearl called out as the door slipped from her grasp.
Steven snapped to attention, "Oh, right!"
He swiftly turned off the screen and bolted down the set of stairs nearby. Amethyst stretched out on the bed and let out a big yawn, while Garnet seemed to gaze at a slim case as she rotated it in her hand.
"Oh, hey Connie!" said Steven. "Sorry I couldn't…"
"What were you watching up there?"
"Oh, that?" Steven said as he ruffled his hair. "Onion stopped by earlier and gave me this DVD he found. I was thinking maybe we could watch it later this evening, but, well…"
"What's it about?" Connie asked.
"It's about this superhero who goes off on these adventures to fight Count Dracula and all these other evil super-villains."
"Giantdad," said Garnet.
Connie turned to the impressive gem as she strode down the stairs, giving her a quizzical look. "Giantdad?"
Garnet held out the case before her.
The Legend of Giantdad.
A man wearing a bearded mask and golden armor featured prominently on the case's cover, with a sword resting in his right hand and his arms stretched out wide. Several other costumed figures stood beside him, though Connie didn't recognize any of them save for a Batman-like figure wearing a fedora.
Did they even get permission to make this?
Connie flipped the case over, but couldn't find any signs of the DC logo. None of the other logos seemed familiar to her either.
"Is this some kind of cheap knockoff?"
"What do you mean?" asked Steven.
"Some movies are known for trying to capitalize on the success of more successful movies. Well, this isn't exactly a movie, but you get the idea." Connie turned the case around again. "I can't seem to figure out just what this is copying exactly."
"It seemed alright to me."
Connie suddenly felt the touch of Pearl's hands on her shoulder, "Well, the two of you can watch it after your training. Connie, you did remember to inform your parents you were staying, right?"
"I did."
"Wonderful!" Pearl then turned the two of them towards the back end of the room. "Why don't you two head over to the warp pad right now?"
"Alright," said Steven.
"Yeah," said Connie. She briefly turned back toward Garnet and held out the case, "Here, why don't you hold onto this for now."
"Sure. Have fun you two."
As Connie and Steven stepped towards the gem portal, Connie briefly saw Garnet glance at the case once more before saying, "Hmm… There does seem to be something odd about this show..."
-BOOM!-
On the screen, the heroes burst into the bad guy's command center with an explosive flash.
"Muffin Man!" Giantdad proclaimed as he pointed toward the camera, "Your evil and treachery ends here!"
The footage turned to the titular villain as he shoved their now deceased comrade, King, off his high perch.
"No," Steven shouted in-sync with Giantdad's sidekick, Greased Lightning, "King!"
Greased Lightning rushed forward to retrieve King's dead body as The Muffin Man let out a loud cackle.
"I thought you were supposed to be good," cried The Green Ranger, "but you only wish to bring about violence and destruction!"
"Precisely!" said The Muffin Man. "But enough chit-chat! Your journey ends here!"
The robed villain slipped out four small, bite-sized doughnut holes from his pockets, and then raised them up high.
"Now you must taste the wrath of my EXPLODING BLUEBERRY MUNCHKINS OF DOOM!"
"What did he just…"
As Connie looked on profoundly at the absurdity of that line, the four munchkins arced over the many workstations separating The Muffin Man from the heroes and landed right at the heroes' feet.
"And those aren't just your regular old blueberries," said The Muffin Man as the Heroes looked on in bewilderment. "As a matter of fact, THEY'RE ACTUALLY MINIATURIZED NUCLEAR WARHEADS!"
-KABOOM!-
"NOOOOOOOO…!" Steven cried as he hugged his television set.
"Uh, Steven," Amethyst said as she got up from her reclined position, "could you not hog the screen?"
"Sorry!"
Steven immediately scooched back a bit.
When the fire and smoke subsided, all the heroes seemed to have perished.
"Oh my!" commented Pearl.
"Hmm…" Garnet murmured.
"They're all dead…" cried Steven.
"Relax Steven," said Connie, "I'm sure…"
Connie didn't seem all that impressed by the scenes that displayed before her, though the others seemed to lean forward in anticipation.
"Yes!" cried The Muffin Man, "I win! Now no one will be able to stop the great carnage and destruction I shall inflict on this Earth!"
"Not if I have anything to say about it!" As The Muffin Man was about to begin his evil laugh, again, Giantdad rose from the rubble and bodies of his comrades, holding himself up with his longsword.
"What? But how are you still alive?"
"Have you forgotten? Though I may fall in battle, the legend never dies!"
"NOOOOOO…!" screamed The Muffin Man.
Steven jumped up where he was. "He said the thing! He just said it!"
"We know, Steven," said Pearl. "I'm still not sure what you guys see in this thing."
"I'm still wondering that myself," said Garnet.
"Well, you're still watching it, right?" said Amethyst.
"It's not like I enjoy taking my time off to watch this mess," Pearl replied.
"It is kinda cliché though," Connie added.
"Whatever," said Amethyst. "It's got enough action for my liking, though I wish they'd just get over that romantic sub-plot with Snow White and The Gingerbread Man."
"Who would've thought they'd actually make Snow White into a bad guy," Steven added.
The fight scene continued on for about another minute or so. The quality was about something one would expect from a third-rate Sci-fi B-movie, but something about it seemed strangely familiar.
"Fiona…" Garnet said out of the blue.
"Huh?" Amethyst said as she turned around.
"I feel like I've heard that name somewhere before, yet I have no recollection of where I heard it from."
"Well, it's just a common Earth name," said Pearl. "Surely you must have heard it from somewhere, right?"
"I've got that feeling too," Connie added.
"Really now?"
"Sounds pretty spooky if you ask me," said Amethyst, taking a moment to stretch before returning her attention to the show.
"Well doesn't your future-vision tell you anything about this?" asked Steven, now turned slightly away from the TV.
"That's the thing," said Garnet. "Whenever I try to focus lately, I've been coming up blank."
"What do you mean?"
"My powers allow me to forsee myriad possibilities, and yet this show does not appear in any one of them."
There was a pause before Pearl spoke up, "That's… extremely unusual."
"Maybe we should stop watching…"
Before Connie could finish, Amethyst pointed toward the screen and said, "Guys look, Muffin Man's about to get owned!"
Everyone's attention turned back to the screen, where Giantdad was just about to deliver his final blow.
"How did you survive all my attacks?" cried The Muffin Man as the scene cut to him.
"All it takes is a little bit of hard work and practice," said Giantdad. "You just need to GET…"
The screen suddenly shut off, along with all the lights in the house.
"Huh?" said Pearl.
"Aw man…" cried Amethyst.
As Connie's eyes began to adjust to the sudden darkness, a strange, greenish glow seemed to shine from the sky, akin to an aurora.
As she walked over to the window, Connie rubbed her eyes and said, "What's going on?"
Steven, Amethyst, and Pearl also walked over to the window. The shimmering light in the sky seemed to glow brighter with every second, until it culminated in a great flash.
"Garnet," said Pearl, "you might want to come over and take a look at this."
No response, outside of several sharp snapping noises.
"Garnet?"
"Errghhh…!"
When Pearl and the others turned to look, Garnet was holding her head in pain, as electric sparks seemed to jump back and forth across her visor, where each of her eyes would be.
"Garnet," cried Steven, "what's happening?"
The larger gem stretched her hand out and said, "Stay back! All of you! Errrrghhhh!"
The sparks seemed to grow more intense with each passing second, until they began jumping from her hands and across her fro.
"She isn't becoming corrupted, is she?" Connie asked.
"We don't know!" replied Pearl. "This hasn't happened before!"
"Guys, look!" interrupted Amethyst. "Meteor shower!"
Connie swiftly turned to look. The sky had returned to normal, though there now seemed to be thousands of stars dashing across the sky, some of them moving faster than others.
Steven's head swept back and forth between Garnet and the strange events unfolding in the sky. "Is this Homeworld's invasion?"
"No…" said Garnet, now collapsing onto the floor. "They… they're not the ones behind this… I'm getting… ergh… visions."
"What kind of visions?"
"I don't know!" Garnet shouted as she briefly released her hands, "Errrghhhh! Steven, whatever you do, don't… EAAAAAGHHHHH…!"
The sparks circled around the Gem's leader with ever increasing rapidity. A soft, whitish glow began to radiate out from her, and her body began levitating on its own accord.
-SCRATCH!-SCRATCH!-SCRATCH!-SCRATCH!-
Everyone's attention instantly jumped to the door below.
"Lion!" shouted Steven.
Amethyst brought out her whip and began to pull it back. "I'll…"
"No, Amethyst, let me handle this."
As everyone else continued watching Garnet in her suffering, Pearl gracefully jumped off from the side and opened the door for Lion.
The noble beast bolted straight in, and suddenly spun around.
"What in the name of…"
Pearl ducked just in time to avoid Lion as he flung itself right back at the door, slamming it shut.
Lion collapsed right on the spot, before finally noticing Garnet floating just beyond the stairs.
"Aahhhhh…!"
The glow and sparks slowly faded away, and Garnet's arms went limp before she crashed right onto the floor. Her mouth remained wide open, and yet she did not show any signs of corruption.
"This is bad," stated Amethyst, as she slowly approached her comrade.
"How is she still whole after that?" exclaimed Pearl. "This doesn't make any sense!"
"What do we do?" said Steven.
"Why don't you try using your healing spit?" said Connie.
"Oh, yeah!" Steven cautiously took a few steps toward the now unconscious, yet still intact, gem. "But what if Garnet…"
"Just do it!" said Amethyst.
"Okay! Okay!"
Steven slowly tiptoed over to Garnet. He then spat into his hand, and then polished the gemstone in each of Garnet's hands, though neither one showed any signs of damage.
Nothing happened.
"Okay, maybe if I just…"
Steven then removed Garnet's visor. All three eyes were wide open, though not one of them acknowledged Steven's presence. Steven once again tried applying his healing spit, though nothing came from it.
"There's gotta be a way…" murmured Steven.
"Give it a rest," said Amethyst. "There's not much else we can do right now. Let's just wait and see if she gets better."
"Alright…"
Steven, Connie, and Amethyst then stepped around Garnet and descended to the lower level. Steven and Connie briefly turned back to look at Garnet in her lamentable state, though Amethyst continued walking towards the seating near the window.
Lion also got up onto the seating, and then pressed his paws up against the glass, before looking back at Steven and Connie.
"Wait!" said Connie. "What are we standing around here for? Beach City might be in danger!"
"Yeah!" said Steven. "We gotta go save them!"
"Ugh! How on Earth could I have overlooked something so simple and obvious?"
Pearl drew her spear as she approached the door, and then turned around and pointed it at the two youths.
"Alright, listen up! Steven, Connie, the two of you are staying here to make sure nothing happens to Garnet. Amethyst, you're coming with me."
Connie briefly turned to Garnet before saying, "But can't we just bubble Garnet so all of us can come with?"
"There's no telling what that thing did. She could turn out totally fine, but then again, I'd rather not make that sort of risk."
"She'll be fine," said Amethyst. "Let's just go already."
As Pearl and Amethyst moved for the door, Lion jumped from his seat and obstructed the two gems' path.
"What are you doing?" Pearl asked.
Lion briefly turned towards Steven and Connie, before retracting his glance to Pearl.
"You want us to come, Lion?" said Steven.
The pink lion simply nodded in the affirmative.
"You sure about this?" asked Pearl.
Lion nodded once again.
Pearl shrugged, "Fine. Amethyst, you stay and watch over Garnet. Steven, Connie, you're coming with."
"Hooray!" said Steven as he jumped for joy.
"Aw man…" Amethyst said as she turned around.
"Oh, my bad. Sorry if we kinda took your spot."
"We really wish you could come with," said Connie.
"Eh, its no big deal," said Amethyst. "I just need to stay here, relax, make sure Garnet is safe, and try not to think about anything… that's all."
"You sure you're alright, Amethyst?" Steven asked.
"I'm fine. Just do whatever you've got to do."
"Alright."
As Amethyst went to seat herself on the couch, Lion backed away from the door and lowered himself so Steven and Connie could climb on.
"Whenever you're ready," Pearl said as she began opening the door, "I'll be waiting for you two outside."
As Steven got onto Lion's back, Connie went over to her duffel bag and began fishing for her phone and Rose's sword. The sword wasn't too difficult to find, though it took a few moments longer to find her phone. Luckily, it still seemed to have battery life.
Better call my parents so they know I'm alright.
No signal.
Connie quickly pocketed the device, and then flung her sword over her shoulder.
Well, that's one more place we're going tonight.
After mounting onto the magical beast, Lion got up and strode out the door. The whole town was pure blackness, save for a few lanterns, flashlights, and makeshift torches flickering in the distance.
Closer to the Beach House, where Pearl's light now shone, were several diminutive green-armored figures.
"What are those things?" asked Pearl.
Each being wore a shining, black, knight-like top-helm, with a pair of beady yellow eyes staring from the darkness underneath. They all had monstrous, over-sized claws, and their chests bore a large, black, heart-like emblem outlined in blood-red, with an "X" going through it. Though Pearl's light shone on them, they did not seem to acknowledge its presence, as they zipped to and fro across the beach and the hill leading up to Steven's house.
"Are those… gems?" Connie asked.
"I'm… not sure," Steven replied.
"Well, whatever they are," said Pearl, "it's possible they might have something to do with whatever happened to Garnet. Yet just where did they come from?"
Out of the corner of Steven's eye, a small, blackish mass, bearing the same beady eyes, rose up from the ground next to Pearl.
"Pearl, watch out!"