Opening - Uragiri no Yuuyake by Theatre Brook

They could be here already.

Naruto silently leapt from one rooftop to another in his full ANBU uniform, cloak and all. Jiraiya's contact claimed that Akatsuki was on their way here, to capture me and Gaara. Given how close their nearest base is, they could be here already.

Kid, you're fully prepared for battle right now, the Nine-Tails pointed out. If they show up now, then deal with them now. It's the best time for it, anyway. Come to think of it, what's our best case scenario?

The Akatsuki works in two-man teams, and our info on most of them is minimal, but... there are a couple we know about. Naruto pulled a small black book from his weapons pouch, and flipped it open to a page with a red bookmark. Itachi Uchiha, for instance. His greatest weapon is his Sharingan, which lets him cast genjutsu through mere eye contact.

But with your own doujutsu, you can see the chakra that makes up a genjutsu and act accordingly, Kurama grinned in Naruto's inner world. He won't expect that, and it might give you an edge. If you summon me with the Animal Path, I'll have a temporary Rinnegan of my own, and I'll get the same benefit. We can take Itachi.

I have my doubts, Naruto admitted, but anyway, the next best opponent for us to fight would be... he flipped through the book again. Hm... I wanna say Sasori, since the Bingo Book actually has some information on his skills, but Zabuza-sensei talked a lot about Kisame Hoshigaki when he was training me. He claimed he was always better at straight-up kenjutsu than Kisame is, and since he's trained me with my own sword...

You think you can outmatch Kisame with your cutlass.

I can't outmatch any of these guys, Naruto sighed. Besides, when it comes to Kisame, his Samehada is a huge threat to us. It's a destructive weapon that can absorb our chakra, and if it hits you...

So, he might be able to extract some of my chakra from his weapon after the fight, and use it to revive the Ten-Tails?

Precisely, Naruto answered. If the two-man team that shows up has Kisame in it, I'll fight him. You go after his partner, whoever it is.

The ninja in the white cloak suddenly froze, and turned his vivid blue gaze down toward a pair of much more experienced foes in black robes with a pattern of red clouds. No one around them seemed to recognize the garb of the Akatsuki, or so Naruto thought until he spotted Asuma, Kurenai, and Kakashi talking outside the same sake bar where the Akatsuki duo were drinking. The Konoha Jounin hid it well, but they were carefully watching the intruders.

Don't try to signal them, Kurama advised. Those Akatsuki ninjas will surely detect us if you do. I'll visit the Tailed Beast Dimension and contact Shukaku. At the very least, you'll have myself and Gaara at your side, and if Gaara can find Hinata, Tenten and Haku, you can summon your full team with the Animal Path. While I'm gone, prepare yourself against those two. The standard-issue Bingo Book has information on more Akatsuki members than just Itachi, Kisame and Sasori. Refresh it all in your memory; it could save your life against those two.

Kurama fell silent, and Naruto flipped through the Bingo Book again. Kakuzu, missing-nin from Taki, over a hundred years old. He's been in the Bingo Book since he fought the First Hokage and escaped. Known to use a Taki kinjutsu called Earth Grudge Fear. Aside from it giving him some way to extend his lifespan, Taki hasn't told anyone what it does. Unless it makes him downright immortal, a quick stab to the heart should finish him, and since he ran from the First Hokage, we know he can die somehow.

Deidara, former Iwa-nin, known explosive specialist. Apparently uses an "Explosion Release" kekkei genkai rather than explosive tags, though. I'll want to fight him in close combat, where he can't blow things up without hurting himself.

That leaves Madara Uchiha, and a guy named Hidan from a small ninja village called Yuu. If I'm up against Madara, I'm gonna die, it's that simple... but as for Hidan, Yuu's intel on him only says that he worships some eldritch god called Jashin through human sacrifices and sadistic rituals. According to his Bingo Book entry, it gives him some form of immortality. He can be stabbed through the heart or decapitated, and it doesn't even bother him. That intel is outdated since he wiped Yuu off the map a while ago, but it's still mostly usable. The catch is, we don't know what he looks like. If I run into a guy who keeps fighting me after I run through his heart, then I'll pulverize his entire body with Shinra Tensei.

Orochimaru defected from the group, leaving nine Akatsuki members. The Bingo Book has information on six of them, and number seven would be Madara, which leaves two Akatsuki we know nothing about. Depending on how bad my luck is, I could be looking at both of 'em right now.

Naruto curled the fingers of his right hand as though holding a weapon, and considered unsealing either his cutlass or a shuriken. No... I can tell who one of them is. He stared down at a long white bundle with a grey handle jutting out of one end, which an Akatsuki had slung over his shoulder. The handle ended with a tiny white skull for a pommel. That's Samehada, the Sharkskin Sword, which means Kisame Hoshigaki is under that hat and cloak.

I'll leave him to you, then, Kurama declared, revealing he was no longer meeting with Shukaku. Gaara's ready, and he'll have Shukaku contact me when the others are as well.

Thanks. Naruto blinked as the two Akatsuki stood and walked away, followed by the three Konoha Jounin. It's too obvious! Naruto gritted his teeth. Those Akatsuki can tell they're being tailed, I'm sure of it. Kakashi, Kurenai, even Asuma-sensei, all three of them are underestimating these guys.

Have they detected us? Kurama growled.

No...

Then don't concern yourself with it. Your surprise attack is the only one that matters... and it might even be better this way. When Kisame draws that sword off his back to fight those Jounin, hit him with that sword trick you use for non-lethal takedowns.

Pale Darkness?

The Nine-Tails snorted in disapproval. I've always thought the name was pretentious.

It's named after the guy who created it, the human replied defensively.

If that were true, you'd have called it Kubo Ripoff Number Thirty-Six. Naruto resisted the urge to chuckle, which might have drawn attention from the Akatsuki. You need to stop stealing that man's ideas. If you ever fight someone who reads Bleach, they'll know how to counter many of your weapon techniques.

At least for today, I'll take my chances, but I'll change the name if it bothers you that much. I'll just call it Senka from now on. Its original name still suits it nicely.

Remember this, boy. If you're going to give a jutsu a dramatic name like 'Pale Darkness,' make sure it's strong enough to live up to its name. Cutting an opponent's chest and back shallowly enough to capture them alive doesn't fit.

Fine, I get it. Next time I make a new jutsu, I'll make sure it's awesome enough to fit its name.

I'll hold you to that, the fox insisted. Naruto made no reply, instead he drew his ANBU saber silently, staring down at the two Akatsuki who were in the process of removing their hats and tossing them aside. As expected, the one wielding Samehada was Kisame, but the other was Itachi Uchiha who immediately drew Kurama's attention. I'll take this one alive, he declared. If anyone in the Akatsuki knows anything useful about Madara, it'd be his descendant. An Uchiha is always more likely to confide in someone else with those cursed eyes...

I'll use Pale... uh, Senka on him, then. Naruto moved forward with his Empty Wind, and reappeared in front of Itachi with his sword already in mid-swing.

To his credit, Itachi never even blinked as Naruto's blade moved toward his chest, even before Kisame smoothly intercepted it by holding Samehada at arm's length to catch the deadly weapon.

"Not half bad," the blue man acknowledged. "You're pretty fast, and combining that Body Flicker trick with a sword cut was clever." Naruto lifted the pressure from his blade, allowing both himself and Kisame to pull their weapons back. "Still, you should know that even if I hadn't blocked your cut, it wouldn't have killed Itachi."

"I know," Naruto replied. "I was aiming to take him alive."

Kisame paused, then smirked. "That voice... you're a kid under that mask?"

"I'm turning thirteen in a few days," Naruto admitted.

In a few days... Itachi's eyes narrowed subtly. A young boy with sufficient power to be ANBU at age thirteen, with a birthday around this time of year? Could it be...? The Uchiha's right hand flicked forward, firing a kunai with enough precision to slice the side Naruto's hood without drawing blood.

The unnatural precision of Itachi's eyes allowed him to glimpse a few solitary yellow hairs drifting down to earth as Naruto dodged away. It's Naruto... how can I possibly deal with this? If I tell Kisame who Naruto is, then we'll capture him and extract the Nine-Tails. If I don't, Kisame and I will end up killing him. There's no way I can order a retreat without Kisame realizing I want this mission to fail, so what can I do?

Naruto vanished again, reappearing by Asuma Sarutobi's side in a blur. "Jounin Sarutobi and Yuuhi, get out of here and come back with reinforcements. Hatake, use your Sharingan to analyze the movements of these two while I fight them."

"You-" Asuma cut himself off, and scowled. I recognize Naruto's voice, but there's no way around it. He's the superior officer here, and I need to trust his judgment. "Kurenai, come on." the two secret lovers leapt away, leaving Naruto and Kakashi alone.

"ANBU-san," Kakashi began formally, "How can you be so confident that you can take these two alone?"

"I'll call for backup when the time comes," Naruto replied, "But for now I intend to gauge the threat level of these two. There are seven other Akatsuki out there, and we need to know what their average power level is. It's not enough to just say 'S-rank,' so stand back."

The ninja in white lunged forward, faster than an ordinary eye could see, but Kakashi and Itachi managed to track his movements with their Sharingan. Kisame reacted on pure instinct, placing his sword between himself and his foe. Naruto briefly reappeared when their weapons met, then vanished again. He's fast, Kisame noted, and hefted Samehada over his right shoulder, catching Naruto's next swing at his back.

Kisame spun and whipped Samehada at the ANBU, frowning as his foe dodged and attacked from his right. The former Kiri-nin quickly pulled his sword back to block, catching Naruto's strike again. His speed, the force of his blows, even the way he watches my own moves... he's skilled, but I recognize these moves. "I'd heard Zabuza joined the Leaf, but frankly I didn't buy it," the shark grinned. "I thought it was just some stupid rumor, but now I'm looking at real proof! You learned kenjutsu from Zabuza, didn't you?"

"Don't look so cheerful about it." Naruto blurred again, reappearing simultaneously to Kisame's left and right. The two copies of the masked ninja attacked at the same time, prompting Kisame to step back and dodge both strikes.

A third blade, however, emerged through his Akatsuki robe just below his heart. "Thanks to Zabuza-sensei, I'm better at kenjutsu than you are."

Kisame watched with an amused grin, and the two ANBU in front of him vanished, revealing that they were harmless genjutsu clones. "You're good, I'll admit that much," the shark vanished in a cloud of smoke, leaving Naruto with his sword running through a log. "But you're getting ahead of yourself!" With his sword stuck firmly in the log, Naruto dropped it and turned to face Kisame.

The older, more powerful ninja slammed Samehada forward into Naruto's chest. An ordinary sword would have simply impaled the boy, but Samehada's 'point' was broad enough to instead send Naruto flying with the front of his chest shredded open. The young ANBU screamed as he flew through the air, and struck the front wall of a nearby house hard enough to crack it.

Kid, are you okay out there?The others are ready to be summoned.

I'm fine, Naruto replied, and glared at Kisame with blood-red eyes behind his mask. The massive wound on his chest was already healing, thanks to Naruto's reserve of 'purple chakra' which had retained the Nine-Tails' healing abilities. The next moment, there was a huge scar visible through the gaping hole in his cloak and flak jacket; the next it was completely healed, unmarked skin. He glanced at Itachi, who hadn't yet made a move. We can't just hope that Itachi will stay out of this. I need you to fight him. The Uzumaki lowered his head to hide his active Rinnegan under his hood, and formed a few quick hand seals. "Summoning Jutsu!"

He slapped his palm down on the ground, and Kurama's one-tailed form emerged from a cloud of smoke bearing a subtler version of the Rinnegan's pattern in his eyes. The sclerae were still white and the irises were still red, but black ripples were set into the irises and divided by the Kyuubi's slit pupils. The fox grinned and swished his single tail excitedly. "I'll deal with the Uchiha," he declared. "You can have the blue one."

"Fine by me," Naruto answered, and unsealed his cutlass. After this battle, they'll figure out who I am. It's bad enough that I'm using my cutlass, but if I summon my team with the Animal Path they'll know I'm not using an ordinary Summoning Jutsu. Once they see the temporary Rinnegan on my teammates, they'll figure it out instantly.

Meanwhile, Itachi stared into Kurama's eyes with mild interest. That's Naruto's Rinnegan, but I have to pretend I'm mistaking it for a new doujutsu. It does look sufficiently different from Pain's eyes, so I might be able to mislead Kisame into thinking this is an ordinary summon. "...I never knew of any summoning contact for a ninja fox," Itachi began. "I imagine it would be taboo in Konoha, simply because of what the Kyuubi has done here."

Kurama blinked. This is a golden oppurtunity to conceal my identity even more. "It was sealed as kinjutsu years ago, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My contract was signed during the invasion."

Itachi nodded slightly, and pulled his right arm out of its sleeve, poking his hand out of the collar of his robe and resting his elbow in his sleeve where his shoulder would have been. Anyone else would have looked completely ridiculous in this pose, but Itachi somehow managed to be taken seriously with it. "You're brave, looking a Sharingan user in the eye like this. Brave, but foolish, or perhaps you don't even know what these eyes can do. No matter how strong your will is, looking me in the eye is always a mistake. Genjutsu: Sharingan."

Kurama blinked, then scoffed and shook his head in disappointment. "Take a good look at my eyes, Uchiha. For a hundred years, I've longed for the satisfaction of breaking a Sharingan's illusions, ever since that bastard Madara crushed my will with his own. Now that I have my clan's doujutsu, your genjutsu won't work on me. I can see through it without even trying."

Itachi maintained his total lack of expression. "...I see. If you've encountered Madara Uchiha, then surely you know what the Sharingan can accomplish at its highest level. Tell me, can your eyes counter this?" his pupil transformed into a three-bladed shuriken set in a red iris, and blood trickled down his cheek. "Amaterasu."

Kurama's eyes widened, just before his entire body was engulfed in black flame. He screamed in pain, but also in anger, before he dismissed himself from Naruto's summoning and reappeared inside the Eight Trigrams Seal. He was furious and covered in burns, but the flames themselves were gone and the burns were already healing.

Naruto glanced toward Itachi, who was clutching one of his eyes with blood trickling out from under his palm. It hurt him to use that jutsu... he must've considered you a serious threat, the Jinchuuriki noted. Heal up, then I'll send you to fight him again. He won't try setting you on fire like that again, not if it hurts him that badly. He promptly used his Empty Wind to dodge another strike from Kisame.

When he reappeared, however, a Water Bullet was inches in front of him. It struck his chest hard enough to crack all of his ribs, and sent him flying a solid thirty feet. "You're starting to get predictable, kid," Kisame observed, and stalked forward with Samehada resting on his right shoulder.

Naruto panted, and stood as his torso finished healing. This is bad... I used the last of my hybrid chakra to heal those wounds. If I get hit like that again, I'll die.

Then hurry up and summon your team, Kurama ordered. You've kept this up long enough, and now we know for certain that you can't take an Akatsuki one-on-one yet.

Naruto sighed. I'd really hoped this might go better for us. He whipped his sword through the air between himself and Kisame and shouted, "Wind Scar!" Amused, Kisame knocked the five wind blades aside with Samehada, absorbing the chakra fuelling them. "Air Bullet!" the shark simply swatted this one away without absorbing it. "Drilling Air Bullet!" Naruto poured extra chakra into his third attack, but Kisame deflected and absorbed it with no less ease.

"Now..." Naruto grinned, and aimed both palms forward at Kisame. Let's see you catch this one. "Shinra Tensei!" he roared, revealing his identity and sending Kisame flying in the same instant. The shark obliterated a house as he flew through it, and Naruto didn't slow down. He formed several more hand seals and slammed both hands down on the ground. "Summoning Jutsu!"

In a massive cloud of smoke, four more human figures appeared in addition to a fully healed Kurama, all of whom sported a full Rinnegan pattern in their eyes.

"Ice Release: Demonic Ice Mirrors," Haku was the first to deploy his jutsu, forming dozens of ice panels that floated away in all directions, placing themselves over rooftops, in alleys, and in the middle of the street. By stepping backward into one mirror, his image appeared in all of the mirrors, and each one drew a senbon from his pouch.

"Water Release: Hollow Water Dragon Horde," Hinata continued, forming ten snarling water constructs that loomed over the battlefield, ready to strike at a moment's notice.

"Stain, Kuroshi," Gaara called, unsealing his black sand and shaping it into a circular wall around the team that swirled like a tornado.

Tenten unsealed handful after handful of deadly explosives, and threw them around the street wildly. Aside from making sure they all landed outside Gaara's defenses, she let them scatter in a completely random pattern."Just give the signal, and we can blow these guys to bits, Naruto."

The Jinchuuriki pulled off his ANBU mask, and sighed with relief. "Nicely done, guys. Your timing was perfectly synchronized. Gaara, I need you to lift me up above this wall with your sand."

The host of the One-Tail nodded, and engulfed Naruto's feet with black sand to levitate him upward. As he rose, the sand around his feet drifted way and shaped itself more properly into a flat surface beneath him. "Itachi Uchiha! Kisame Hoshigaki! Surrender now, and you'll be captured alive. Resist, and we'll kill you immediately!"

Kisame, having just finished crawling out of the rubble in time to hear this, burst out laughing. Itachi, however, moved to his ally's side and declared quietly, "We're going to retreat."

The shark choked on his laughter and gaped at the younger missing-nin. "...You're kidding, right? The Nine-Tails and the One-Tail are right in front of us! Don't you recognize that sand jutsu? It's Shukaku's power!"

"By the time we defeat both of them and begin our escape, the two Jounin who left earlier will return with a sufficient force of ANBU to capture or kill us," the Uchiha replied firmly. "In addition, we're not ready to seal any of the Tailed Beasts, nor can we capture the remaining seven until our mission properly begins in three years. If we manage to take these two now, the others will be more heavily guarded when we move for them. Our mission here was to capture the Nine-Tails Jinchuuriki only if he was alone and we could take him quietly. Neither condition has been met."

Kisame frowned, and hefted his massive weapon. Samehada... Trust me, you'll still get a taste of a Tailed Beast's chakra, don't worry. Just be patient... "Fine, let's get out of here."

"What makes you think we'll let you leave?" Haku called from one of his mirrors, and threw a barrage of senbon at the two Akatsuki. Kisame deflected the needles with Samehada, and Itachi breathed a Great Fireball onto the ice mirror. Both of them noted with mild surprise that the ice was completely undamaged by the flames, and Haku then threw more senbon from every mirror that had a view of the Akatsuki.

The black-cloaked pair simultaneously made a single hand seal, and vanished in a cloud of smoke. Naruto scowled down at where they'd been standing. "The Body Flicker," he observed. "Damn it, I really thought we had 'em."

"We've seen some of what they can do," Gaara replied, "and they haven't seen anything from us that we didn't already show during the Chuunin Exams, with the exception of Haku's ice. This was a victory, however small."

"So... you're the ANBU captain who assembled this team," Tenten threw in. "Why'd you try to hide it last night?"

"I'm supposed to keep my identity as secret as possible. I decided I'd only tell you guys after you joined the team, with the exception of Hina-chan. She used her Byakugan and saw right through my mask."

"The Byakugan can see through clothes?" Haku asked, surprised. This prompted Tenten to snort and helplessly fall into a giggling fit. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that," he added indignantly. "I just thought... I thought somehow it wouldn't work like that. Besides, I haven't hit puberty yet." he paused thoughtfully. "Which reminds me, I think I'm going to cut my hair soon."

"How does that remind you of...?" Tenten trailed off, confused.

"If I hit puberty, start liking a girl, ask her out, and she thinks I'm a girl, that would be uncomfortable to say the least..." Haku blinked. "Oh, that's right, I haven't told either of you. I'm a boy."

Tenten reacted with appropriately visible shock, but Gaara merely blinked and said, "That's... unsettling."

The last scion of the Yuki Clan sighed loudly. "I used to find that reaction funny, but it's starting to get a little annoying. Now that I'm not wandering the continent with Zabuza-sama, I'm staying here in Konoha and starting to see what happens after I tell this to any other boy my age. It makes them uncomfortable, not to mention me. It'll only get worse after I hit puberty and start liking girls."

He paused again. "Actually, even if I hit puberty and start liking boys, it still won't end well because they'll think I'm a girl and hit on me until I say otherwise. This..." he ran a hand through a lock of his improbably long hair, "is going to cause me a lot of problems as I grow up." he shrugged. "But enough about that. What are we going to do about those two Akatsuki?"

Naruto remained silent for a moment, then put his ANBU mask back on and replied, "We're leaving the village this afternoon, so there's nothing we can do about them. We don't even have a Hokage to report to about this, not yet. Hopefully we'll bring the Fifth back with us, though."

"Wait..." Gaara inspected Naruto's ANBU mask. "When Suna's elders met with Konoha's, you were one of the ANBU guards there, weren't you?"

"Of course I was," Naruto grinned behind his mask. "Even if I didn't have this mask, I'm a Jinchuuriki like you. How could they discuss a group of S-rank Tailed Beast hunters and not invite me, with the rank I have now?"

"...That's... a valid point," Gaara acknowledged.

Naruto remained silent in thought for a moment, then pulled off his mask again. "Guys, we're about to leave the village for a mission that could take us months to complete. Let's pay Ichiraku's one last visit before we head out, shall we? I'll pay," he added after a moment.

Hinata immediately smiled broadly and nodded. Gaara, who was developing a ramen addiction to rival Naruto's own, also nodded. Tenten was the third to follow suit, leaving Haku to reply last. "I haven't yet been there, but there's a first time for everything," he decided.

X

"By Kami, this is the most delicious meal I've ever had the honor of tasting," Haku mumbled in disbelief, then reached for another bowl of ramen.

"It has that effect on people," Gaara agreed, and returned his attention to his own bowl.

"You get used to it," Naruto added, and turned away from his meal to face the open street behind them. He pulled back and flicked his right index finger, watching with satisfaction as a small curved blade was formed in the air his finger passed through. He frowned, however, when the blade fell straight down rather than flying forward, and clinked as it hit the floor of Ichiraku Ramen.

"What was that?" Hinata asked curiously.

"I just started work on a new jutsu," Naruto explained. "I used my wind jutsu on Kisame and he blocked them all, so I'm working on a stronger ranged jutsu. I can't rely on Shinra Tensei all the time, because I can only fire it once every five seconds or more, but this jutsu uses the Asura Path. This is a tiny version of what I'm working on." he picked up the crescent of metal and handed it to Hinata.

The Hyuuga heiress inspected the blade. "So when you swing your arm, you create a piece of metal like this as a projectile weapon, but the problem is that it doesn't shoot forward like you want it to, right?"

"That's exactly right," Naruto agreed.

"Hm..." Hinata toyed with the metal crescent idly. "Maybe if you used the Deva Path, you could shoot it with more force," she decided.

"Or use the Wind Release to push it," Tenten suggested.

"Or both," Gaara threw in.

"Huh..." Naruto formed another crescent blade, and this time it shot forward thanks to Naruto's Shinra Tensei. It flew perfectly straight and slammed into the dirt road forcefully. "That was with a full-power Shinra Tensei," he frowned, "So I can't do it again for five seconds."

"So try it with wind," Haku briefly interrupted his meal to say.

"Right." The Jinchuuriki nodded, and attempted to fire a third blade with a burst of wind. Instead of flying properly, however, the piece of metal spun wildly as it flew, and skidded along the dirt road instead of striking it forcefully. "Damn. This is gonna take some work... maybe if I used the two together like Gaara said, I could..."

He glanced up, preparing to fire another blade, but stopped when he saw Jiraiya standing in the exact spot he was aiming for. "Hey, Pervy Sage!"

"You're never gonna stop calling me that, are you?"

"If the sandal fits, wear it," Naruto grinned, "Pervy Sage."

Jiraiya shrugged. "Fine, I admit it. I'm an exceptionally powerful ninja with control over natural energy, the chakra of the world itself. Hence, I'm a Sage. I also enjoy the company of beautiful women, more so than the average man. Hence, Pervy." He smirked at Naruto's hesitant silence. "So by all means, call me a Pervy Sage. It's not such a bad thing to be. At least I'm not the Legendary Sucker or..." he paused and frowned. "I never really memorized Orochimaru's nickname, but I know it has something to do with him apparently being a pedophile."

Hinata blinked. "Wait... so that means 'Legendary Sucker' refers to Tsunade?"

Jiraiya nodded. "She never wins a bet, ever, and yet she keeps gambling. She really can't stop herself."

"Is it really that bad? Like, she never wins a bet?" Naruto leaned forward, interested. "As if some universal law forbids her from winning a bet? What if she bet the sky would be blue when she looked up, and it turned out to be green?"

The sage blinked. "I don't know where you're going with this, kid, but it worries me."

Naruto chuckled. "I'm just thinking, what if Tsunade doesn't want to come back to Konoha with us? We could make a bet with her, and if she loses then she becomes the Fifth Hokage!"

"...There was only one time she ever won a bet," Jiraiya replied seriously. "Shortly after that, someone she loved was killed." the group of younger ninja winced collectively. "I honestly believe there's some kind of curse on Tsunade's gambling skills, as crazy as it sounds... and I also believe it isn't something we should try to use to our advantage, ever."

"Understood," the blond boy nodded quickly, shortly followed by his team.

"Good." Jiraiya sat down alongside the Genin, Chuunin and ANBU. "Our orders are specifically to convince Tsunade to return to Konoha and become Hokage. We're explicitly forbidden from taking her back by force, so don't fight her no matter how much she pisses you off. Which reminds me, she can get pretty mean when she's drunk, which is most of the time these days."

"Now..." Jiraiya pulled Sarutobi's will from his pocket and set it on the counter. "There's good news and bad news here. The bad news is, we have reason to believe Tsunade will outright refuse the job. The good news is, this scroll might just change her mind."

"Why?" Naruto inspected the white scroll. "What does that thing say, anyway?"

"A lot of things," Jiraiya began vaguely, then elaborated quickly when he saw Naruto's frustrated expression. "The plans Sarutobi-sensei laid out can only be revealed after they've been put into play. For instance, when you were offered a chance to join the ANBU, you weren't the first to know that the Third had planned it. Gradually, we'll make more and more of the moves he prepared for us, and only then can we reveal what those moves are."

"Ah." Naruto nodded. "So, it's like a game of shougi. Telling the public what's on that scroll is like telling your opponent about your next twenty moves."

Jiraiya smirked. "It's a little more than twenty. In the month he had to write this scroll, he planned out a metaphorical game of shougi that should end three to four years from now."

Tenten glanced at Naruto. "Have you ever played a game with Shikamaru Nara?"

Naruto turned to her and smiled sadly. "Only once. It was by far the most humbling experience of my life."

"That bad, huh?"

"It was like..." Naruto fell silent, searching for words, "...It was like playing against the entire cast of Death Note."

"Death Note?" Jiraiya and Tenten asked in stereo.

"It's a popular shounen manga," Gaara began, and everyone immediately turned to him. "Just about every character in the series is a genius in some capacity, which results in an extremely convuluted storyline involving countless plots and counterplots. The entire story is essentially a metaphorical shougi game, with the fate of the world at stake."

"Gaara..." Tenten began, wide-eyed, "How the hell do you know that?"

"It's one of my sister's favorite manga," he replied simply. "Once I managed to convince her to talk to me as her little brother, her first choice in topic was shounen and seinen manga. I asked her to recommend a few series for me, but apparently she was concerned about her preferred reading material inducing some kind of relapse in me. I once read a few chapters of her favorite series, and I think I see why she'd feel that way."

"What series was it?" Naruto asked curiously.

"It was called 'Hellsing.'"

You shoulda kept reading it, fleshbag, Shukaku commented. That Alucard guy reminded me of... me. As far as fleshbags go, anyone who can write a story like that is someone I could get along with. Maybe you could borrow the series from your sister?

I can only imagine how well that conversation with Temari would go, Gaara replied. 'Nee-san, the One-Tailed Demon Tanuki wants me to read that incredibly gory manga you told me I should never look at. That's right, the one where the psychotic immortal vampire is the protagonist. Can I borrow the whole series? I swear I won't try to reenact any of the fight scenes.'

Well, what if I used a smaller sand body the next time you let me out? I could read it myself.

By all means, I'll introduce you to her. 'Nee-san, I'd like you to meet Shukaku, the monster that threatened to kill me if I fell asleep for the last thirteen years, and convinced me to kill dozens of Suna-nin. He wants to read Hellsing.'

Kid, you're starting to piss me off... Gaara very clearly heard the demon sigh inside the Eight Trigrams Seal. Fine, I'll make you a deal. Get me a copy of the whole series, and give it to me the next time you release Kuroshi Tanuki. I'll be quiet for the entire time it takes me to read it.

Gaara turned his attention back to the conversation being held by his fellow human shinobi.

Don't ignore me, fleshbag. You know damn well how persuasive I can be.

X

"Bankai. Kuroshi Tanuki."

Tenten blinked in surprise upon hearing this, and turned along with Jiraiya and Haku. They were walking along an otherwise empty dirt road through an equally empty field of grass. There were no travelers, no buildings and no animals in sight. Naruto and Hinata has been walking behind Gaara, and so they were already gaping at him as Shukaku's body formed to the Jinchuuriki's right.

"Don't worry," he began his explanation, "He's promised not to bother any of us." Shukaku aimed a sinister grin at Jiraiya, just before Gaara cut off the flow of sand from his sword and pulled most of the demon's body back into the seal, leaving him with a roughly human-sized construct of black sand. "Nor will he take his full form and draw attention to us."

The demon groaned. "That wasn't part of the deal."

I can't believe I'm doing this, Gaara inwardly sighed, then pulled a volume of manga from his weapons pouch. "How do you expect to hold this and read it if your hands are the size of houses?"

"...Touche," Shukaku conceded, and caught the book Gaara tossed his way. "Pleasure doing business with you," he added and fell silent as he opened the volume of manga.

"A small part of me really wants to know what just happened," Jiraiya admitted, "but most of me doesn't want to ask."

"Shukaku wants entertainment and nothing more," Gaara answered. "Boredom is the bane of his existence, and I had the option of giving him his choice in reading material rather than let him amuse himself by pestering me."

"So that's what you sent that Sand Clone to pick up," Naruto realized.

"We were already leaving the village, and I couldn't exactly send him to buy the series for himself, so a Sand Clone seemed to be the only solution." Gaara closed his eyes and paid attention to the silence in his inner world. "It was exceptionally well-spent money."

Shukaku was about to make a reply, but Kurama drew his attention by launching himself out of Naruto's chest and landing in a crouch ahead of the Jinchuuriki. This left the slightly older Bijuu to face the younger, allowing the two to meet in the real world for the first time in five centuries. "It's been a long time, little brother," Kurama greeted.

Shukaku closed the book and looked up. "Kurama."

The fox sized up the tanuki and smirked. "You've lost weight."

Shukaku smirked back. "I haven't lost it," he replied, nodding to Gaara's sword. "It's right over there."

Kurama's smirk faded, startling his younger brother slightly. "Do you miss them, Shukaku? Our brothers and sisters?"

"Ever since we talked to Isobu and Choumei, yeah," Shukaku admitted, and absorbed the volume of Hellsing into his right arm. "Over the past couple centuries, not so much." He shrugged. "Do you think they miss us?"

"We'll find out when we see them again," the Nine-Tails grinned. "Meet me in the Tailed Beast Dimension tonight, and we'll try again. We've already found Isobu and Choumei on our very first try. At this rate, we could all see each other by the end of the week, little brother!" Kurama grinned excitedly. "Even if we don't, even if we only manage to contact one, that's one less sibling we haven't seen for centuries!"

"When was the last time you saw another Tailed Beast?" Naruto asked, drawing the attention of both demons. "Either of you?"

"I ran into Matatabi..." Shukaku paused, "the Two-Tailed Cat, in the Land of Lightning about a hundred and fifty years ago. We fought, and a little while after that we both got sealed into Jinchuuriki. How about you, Kurama?"

"I met Isobu in the Land of Earth, a few years before the Uzumaki Clan came to seal me. He managed to talk me out of fighting him, and we agreed to stay out of each other's territory. That worked for a few years, until the Uzumaki showed up. After that..." the fox shrugged. "I'm not sure how he managed to get himself captured by Kiri, since his den was just a few miles from Iwa, but that's what Naruto's research told us."

"Hey, that reminds me. How come the little blond fleshbag lets you out whenever you want?"

"Because we're friends," Naruto quickly replied.

Kurama turned back to his brother. "Shukaku, do you remember what Otou-san said to us before he died? About a human who would bring us together again?" The sand demon hesitantly nodded. "I believe Naruto is the one."

"Hey," Naruto protested. "Just after you told me your name, you said I wasn't the Chosen One. What gives?"

"Don't get so full of yourself!" Kurama turned to his host and sneered. "Nobody chose you for anything. You don't have any destiny superpowers or anything stupid like that. It just so happens that you can help the Tailed Beasts reunite, and the rest of your race can't."

"By... 'reunite,' you do mean like 'reunite back into the Ten-Tails?'"

"See?" Kurama turned to Shukaku while pointing at Naruto. "In order to be a Chosen One, he'd need to be bright enough to understand that..." he turned back to Naruto, "Turning into the Ten-Tails would mean the cessation of our very existence!" he roared. "I don't want to stop existing! I wouldn't exactly bet that the other seven of us would! Living creatures like being alive, it's a fact of life!"

Once again, he turned to Shukaku. "This kid really does have good intentions, but like most of his species, his stupidity can be downright painful sometimes."

Naruto activated his Rinnegan instinctively and yelled back at the fox, "Teme! I'm not stupid! I'm one of maybe a hundred people left on the planet that knows anything about the Ten-Tails, it's a pretty obscure bit of history ya know!" he moved forward with one fist raised, and nearly headbutted the Nine-Tails in his anger. "Stupid ungrateful fox! If I'm not a Chosen One, it means I don't have to help you because of destiny or whatever, so you should be a little more thankful!"

Shukaku pointed at Naruto's eyes, grinning. "What was that about him not being a Chosen One?"

The human shinobi watching this exchange collectively sweat-dropped. "...There's a Ten-Tails?" Jiraiya asked helpfully.

"See?" Naruto immediately pointed at the sage. "One of the most powerful ninjas in the world has never heard of the Ten-Tails! And you expected me to know exactly what would happen if you guys recombined into it!?"

"Don't you yell back at me, brat! I'm the most powerful being currently on this plane of existence, so I'm in charge and I won't take your insubordination!"

Shukaku snorted. "Most powerful being, my ass. Gyuuki destroyed you every time you fought when we were kids."

"Gyuuki had three hundred pounds on me back then!" Kurama turned and snarled at the younger Tailed Beast. "And he figured out the Tailed Beast Ball before I did! It's different now!"

"Hey!" Naruto stepped between the two demons. "You were arguing with me, remember!? We were talking about who's in charge! Well guess what, you're grounded, believe it!" Kurama's eyes widened as Naruto twisted the seal on his belly, pulling his one-tailed form back inside.

"Um, Naruto..." Hinata pointed at the seal. "Is it really a good idea to pick a fight with Kurama? Don't we need his help?"

"You have a point," he admitted, "but I'm kinda sick of this tsundere crap." Tenten started laughing loudly at that. "He thinks he can't be nice to me in front of anyone, 'cause he's got an image to maintain as a country-levelling demon badass, but I know what he's really like and I'm not gonna let him hide it by pushing me around, ya know?"

Fine. We can talk this out if you unlock the damned seal right NOW. If you don't hurry up, this little incident will halt the mixing of our chakra! Naruto shrugged and opened the seal again, allowing the Nine-Tails to emerge from his chest and growl in suppressed anger. "Don't do that to me again. I was locked up a seal like that one for over a hundred years, and for the record, Mito's seal had me crucified on a set of wooden stakes for the entire time I was in there. Don't ever make me go back to that."

Naruto looked down, suddenly ashamed. "I promise."

"Good. In exchange, I... I suppose I could be less confrontational," Kurama grumbled. "My image has already been completely destroyed by working with you, after all, so why should I bother getting on your bad side anymore?"

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