Moshi, moshi! :D! Apparently, there's wifi at my room, so yuss! Well, it's kind of broken, but still, I managed to upload this chapter!

So yeah, this place is beautiful, the beach, everything, so inspiring :') you should visit Puerto Rico some time ;)

TWENTY-SIX

Weekend was over and unfortunately I wasn't able to sleep like I expected to. I kept having dreams and waking up; during the day, I managed to get one hour naps aside from cleaning my room and doing the laundry.

Fuck, who am I kidding? I couldn't stop thinking about Marco and it was driving me crazy… or crazier. I just couldn't deny the fact that Marco having a girlfriend bothered me… really bothered me. If that girl was on school, I had to stick around her because it was my duty to watch Marco's back, you know, as his "best friend" and I don't think I can have her around me without breaking her toothpick arms.

Oh shit, I was having these aggressive thoughts and I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold them back. I have decided that today I'd face him and just ask him about her and all that, see how things are going; you know, as his "best friend" I had to know what was up and help if needed.

I quickly changed after mom called me like for the fifth time this morning. With a red beanie covering my hair, sky blue jeans and Nikes, I stomped down stairs furiously, -"What is the matter with ya'?! How many times do I have to call ya' so you can get your ass down here?! I'm not your alarm!"

I was heading for the kitchen, but halted my steps as her annoying voice reached my ears, -"Well guess what? You need technical repairs, alarm, because I can't hear you!"- I mocked.

I heard her growl, -"Oh, I don't need repairs to teach you a lesson or two, mister. I can work just fine."

I yawned on purpose. I knew how much that irritated her. She found it disrespectful. I'm aware I was crossing the line with this, but I was too angry to care.

She growled again and stood up, the floor rattled at her slow steps towards me. I stood my ground and glared at her while she stood right in front of me. Funny, she was trying to put up front, but I was already taller than her. With her arms crossed, she barked at me furiously, -"What was that, mister? You have a problem? Cause' I can spank your ass as many times I have to make you shut up and learn to respect your momma!"

I bit my lip in an attempt to shut up, but it was pointless, -"You're the one who has to shut up! I can fucking hear your annoying voice the first time you fucking call me! I don't have to hear you twice! I'm not an idiot or a baby!"

She raised her hand to slap me, but I stopped her. She struggled to free her hand as her eyebrows furrowed, but my grip was strong. Her shriveled hand quivered. I could see the anger building inside her, -"Let go, you spoiled brat!"- When I yanked her arm away harshly, she reached for my face, -"I can call you as many times as I feel like and you have to obey! Don't make me…!"

I slapped her hand away before she could even touch me, -"'Don't make me' what?"- I inquired, really wanting to see what she could do.

Her hand rose again for another slap, but…, -"What is going on here?"- My dad came rushing at us with his pajamas. He was still here…? He stood in the middle between me and mom.

My mother halted her hand and pointed at me, -"Take him away! I don't want to see his face anymore today! If I get my hand on that spoiled….!"- She was held back by dad.

-"What? You'll what, huh? What can you do to me, old coot?"- I challenged, arms wide in wrath.

Her face burned up and I could see a vein pop in her forehead as she tried pushing dad aside, -"Why don't you get here and see for yourself, you chicken? I'm gonna… I'm fucking gonna…!"

Dad hugged her and squeezed her, whispering something. She cooled down a bit, but she was still rabid at me, -"Take him away. Just take him away."

Dad nodded and when he turned to me, I was already outside. He rushed at me and turned me around. Before he could say anything, -"I'm going. That's what she wanted, right? So, I'll fucking go and I won't have to see her face either."- I began walking, not wanting to wait for the bus.

He stopped me with his hand on my shoulder, -"Son, listen to me,"- He turned me around and I shoved his hand away, -"You need to calm down and lis-"

I didn't want to listen to anyone, not even him who instead of having a vein popped out of his forehead and mad at me had a worried face. Panicked, he was desperate to solve this, but the quarrel between mom and I was… unrepairable, -"No! Just… don't even try, dad, it's pointless!"- I raised my voice.

-"But son…,"- He reached for me and I broke into a run to school.

The school was a bit deserted since I arrived too early. At Hanji's, I lay down on the floor and stared at the ceiling with my backpack as a pillow.

My fights with mom were getting worse. Sunday was the same. She wanted me to tend some towels or something and at that moment I was in the shower. I told her I was going to do it in five minutes or so and when I got out of the bathroom, she came down on me saying I was loafer and useless, good for nothing son. I hadn't even finished changing when she slammed the door open and shouted at me. After that, we fought much like a few minutes ago until dad stopped us. Now, we could barely look at each other without fighting, she was just so unbearable. Damn woman.

I covered my eyes with my arm and sighed. My life couldn't possibly get any worse, could it?

-"What's wrong with you?"- A female voice startled me and quickly sat up to meet… Annie. Her serious faint eyes surveyed me, -"You look like a Gypsy."

I snorted. She doesn't know how close she was to the reality. I lay back on the floor, -"Good morning to you too, Annie."

She poked my abdomen with her foot, -"Are you dead?"

I raised an eyebrow, -"Pretty much,"- I closed my eyes, but slightly fluttered one open to peek at her. Her blonde hair hid her eyes, but I could see her eyeing me completely. A low chuckle escaped my lips, -"Are you checking me out?"- It didn't excite me, really. I had zero attraction with her; sure, she was hot, but she was out of my league.

A small smirk spread on her serious face, -"I don't check out Gypsies."

I laughed, -"You don't really check out anyone."

She shrugged, -"True,"- And leaned on the wall above me, -"By the way, you didn't come to the soccer meeting last week. We waited for you."

I gasped and sat up with my hand on my forehead, -"Fuck, I forgot!"- Not only that, I haven't spent time working my body out, -"What did you guys talked about?"

-"Nothing much. We just want to make the team official."

-"No offence, but,"- I bit my lip before speaking, -"I don't think we're going far."

She glared that at me, her sharp look piercing me, -"You haven't even gone to the practices and you're saying we don't have a change?"- She was speaking too much now. Raising a fisted hand, -"Do you want me to punch some sense into you?"

I raised my hands in defense, -"No, no, it's fine. I get it, it's just…,"- I sighed and stood up. There was so much happening around me that I forgot other things. My mind only focused on the events with Marco that I forgot the soccer team Reiner had planned for me and by the look on Annie's face, they were serious and I wanted to be too… I just felt kind of unsure with all the things happening to me, -"I don't know…,"- At the end, I couldn't explain to her. I felt guilty for ditching them like I did, -"I'm sorry for ditching you guys like that, I just had a lot going on and-"

-"I know,"- She said firmly, interrupting me, -"It's on your face."

I looked at her. I wanted to ask her what was on my face, but it was obvious: the tiredness, the pressure I've gone through, the slumber… I still had dark circles under my eyes. I sighed again and looked up at the ceiling, -"Next time… I'll definitely go."- And I'll train hard. It was time to dedicate myself some time.

-"Today."- She said seriously and walked off. I totally had to stay, I mean… since when was the last time I exercised? I didn't feel weak or anything, but I had to keep my body in shape.

Shortly after, everyone started to arrive and my stomach quickly swirled nervously as Marco appeared from the hallway. I felt nervous and a bit mad at him for Saturday. I quickly went inside once Hanji arrived and sat on the back, aware that Marco preferred to sit on the front so he could pay more attention to the teachers. During class, he kept glancing back at me, his face was full of worry; he wanted to ask me how I was feeling and maybe another thing. I haven't decided on my feelings for him yet and I had a feeling he'd ask me… today, but not before I ask him about his girlfriend.

When we left Hanji's though, I didn't have the balls, but he quickly went to me. My heart skipped a beat, my stomach stirred like soup and I hoped I wouldn't get a boner. I avoided his eyes and bit my lip as he spoke, -"Jean, how are you feeling?"

Right, last time he was with me, I was hyperventilating, -"I-I'm better."- I shrugged and tried to stay cool about it.

He looked down and his face dimmed a little, -"I'm sorry, Jean… I shouldn't have said that so suddenly. I didn't know it'd shock you like that."

What is he talking about? He didn't actually tell me anything, I just figured by looking at his eyes, -"Nah, it's okay, really…"- I said awkwardly as this became more and more intense. I looked down, up and sideways to avoid his gaze.

I gulped at his next words, -"But, Jean… I need to know."- He took a step forward and reached for my hand.

I quickly stepped back and hid my hand behind my back, -"A-about…?"

He gave me a sad look, -"About last Friday; if you feel the same way towards me."

I bit my lip again harder, tasting my blood. I knew we'd come to this, where Marco becomes desperate for my answer. I didn't want to reject him and make him feel bad, but I didn't know if to accept him just like that, I mean… I'm not ready! This is hard for me! –"I… I don't know, Marco…"

-"I don't want to push you too hard with this, but I can't understand you; sometimes you avoid me and then you're all…"- He stopped mid-sentence and I knew how to continue it: all over and weird around me. He bit his lip and looked down sadly.

Shit, even I couldn't understand myself. From the look on his face, he was really serious about me; meaning, his feelings for me were damn real and he, unlike me, understood them and accepted them. He was desperate for my answer.

Then, it kicked me. I suddenly forgot about Saturday and his little date behind my back with his girlfriend. I boosted up and let it all out, -"Says the guy who was on the supermarket with a girl as a date."

He flinched, -"Me…?"

I nodded and crossed my arms around my chest. I looked at him seriously. I must look like a super jealous girlfriend, -"Yeah, you."

He rubbed his chin with his thumb, -"Supermarket…"- He though and snapped, -"Oh, Saturday! Wait… how do you know? You were there?"

I nodded.

-"I knew it! I saw you and you saw me!"- He cheered.

-"Yeah, yeah and your little girlfriend Toothpick too."- I clicked my tongue, a little angry. He confessed that he likes and he's dating a girl on my back?

-"Girlfriend…? You mean Sarah?"- His face turned serious and a small cute scowl crossed his face, -"She's my cousin with remote mental retardation and low self-esteem."

I gasped and flinched as a shiver ran down my spine. It all came like a punch in my face and seriously, I felt like punching myself for my stupidity. Even so, I felt a small relief that he didn't had any girlfriend, -"Oh man… I'm so sorry, dude, I though…"

He sighed and began walking away, but I stopped him by the arm, -"Marco... I'm sorry. I just… I really thought she was your girlfriend, I had no idea she had a condition, I swear... I,"- Out of all the bad things that could happen to me, Marco being mad at me was the worst. I tightened my grip on his arm and the warmth along with the electric shock overflowed me. My body sweated at the hotness around me and I only focused on Marco, -"… I'm sorry."

The regret was killing me, but Marco looked at me with a sad face; he wanted me to be honest and say the truth and I wanted to say it: I was fucking jealous, alright? But it never slipped out of my mouth. My mouth gaped and I had those words in my throat, ready to spit them out, but I bit my mouth shut and looked down.

Marco sighed and when I let him go, he began to walk away, -"It's okay, Jean… I'm not mad at you, I just…,"- He sighed again and looked away, his sad eyes leaving mines. I knew what he wanted to say: that he hoped I could make sense soon, because I make him believe that I have no feelings for him and now it turned out I was jealous of him being with someone else. I was really, really an asshole, -"… see you later."- And with that… he left.

I stood alone in the hallway, watching him leave with a knot on my throat. A sudden cold surrounded me; oh yeah, it was raining outside. I guess Marco's warmth made it fade around me and now that I'm alone… I'm cold. I wrapped my arms around my shoulders and squeezed, slamming my back on the wall behind. Now, I missed him and his warmth. No matter what I did, I ended up hurting him even more and not only that, I mocked his cousin, surely someone special to him. How can I be so stupid? I mean, I obviously didn't know it was his cousin, but I knew that his feelings for me were deep and I, fully knowing him, had to be aware that he wouldn't do something like getting a girlfriend after confessing to me. Marco wasn't that type of person. He was honest and loyal… unlike me; I was a jerk and dishonest, I'm simply a mess that screws everything up.

I wanted to run after Marco and tell him the truth, but he's looking for answers I haven't yet gotten, so I'd just make our issue worst and hurt him even more. I guess I should just stay away from him until I have those answers…

It was stupid, really stupid. I thought I'd be able to get away from him, tried to concentrate on something else, but it was useless; I watched Marco's every move through the whole morning. I kept an eye on him and I couldn't stop, couldn't look away. I realized that the issue we now had… somehow made me more and more attracted to him. Without noticing, I wanted to embrace him and feel that electric shock travel the veins through me; I wanted to feel him, touch him, fuc-

At Physical, I tried to get my mind out of those crazy but tempting thoughts by doing exercises like never before. I was still down at what I did, but the sweat and adrenaline kept me going. I was on my tight sport black shirt and sweatpants; I did push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, aerobics, all that. I even played soccer with the guys, even though I was staying for practices. At the end, I felt alive, so strong and powerful. I forgot everything that happened, I forgot…

I swiftly glanced at Marco. He was taking off his furry white overcoat and stayed with the school's shirt… soaked with sweat. Everything he did went in slow motion; his breaths, his moves, his hand running through his hair, a sweat traveling down to his neck…

I sweated awfully. Covering my mouth, I gulped. Shit, it's coming… something's coming in between my legs. I ran to the showers in the far end of the court, receiving a few yells, -"Yo, Jean! What up? The game ain't over!"- Someone shouted at me, but I didn't stop.

When I reached the showers, I took my shirt off and turned on the closest shower. Fuck, fuck, fuck… I muttered among heavy breaths as I leaned on the wall below the shower and let the water drop down on me. Mindlessly, I dug my hand in my pants and gripped my crotch. I panted heavily as the memory of me and Marco's scene in bathroom recorded in my mind. When I thought of him, I jacked off my dick, one hand on the wall, steadying me. I looked down, fucking erection! Why now? Every time I thought of Marco, I jerk off harder and harder, groaning, -"Marco…"- I moaned loudly, throwing my head back, letting the orgasm fill me, -"Marcoo…"- I squirmed as images of me and Marco making out flashed in my mind, -"Marcoooo…!"- I called out louder and louder, my moans echoed through the room. I went faster and faster, feeling my dick slimy, but I didn't stop, I couldn't stop. My body moved on its own. I felt so hot. Then, I heard a thud and a gasp. I quickly turned around… meeting Connie. Fuck me, I left the damn door open.

He began to step back, -"Okay, dude… I'll just lea-"

I dashed towards him after digging out my hand from my pant and stopped in front of him, -"Connie! Connie! I swear…!"

He stepped back, -"No, man, I'll just pretend I didn't see anything. Goodbye."- He walked off.

I stopped him by his arm, -"Connie, listen to me…,"- I was panting nonstop, still feeling my own grip on my dick, preferring it be Marco's grip instead. God… I had to control myself. What the hell happened to me? -"… you can't tell anyone, especially not Marco. Please,"- I begged and knelt, -"Please."

Connie raised his arm, -"Whoa, man, I wasn't gonna say anything. Stand up."- He said seriously and sighed.

I stood and tried not to look at him. This is so embarrassing. Connie, out of all people, saw me masturbating in Marco's name. I took a deep breath, -"Promise me you'll tell no one."

-"Fine, man, I promise, but hey,"- He scratched the back of his neck, -"The rumors are true then; you're gay and you like Marco."

I bit my lip, -"It's complicated, just… keep your promise!"

-"Maaan, you gotta do something,"- He said and threw me my shirt, -"Don't get me wrong, I ain't got anything against you gays, I respect you, but Jean… you gotta tell Marco."

-"No way,"- I quickly said, turned around and began walking on circles. What a huge mess I got myself into, -"I'll… I'll think of something, just… keep your promise."

I wanted this conversation to end, but he kept blabbering, -"Dude, that was some deep shit… you really like Marco, huh."

-"No… it's just… complicated."

-"You gotta be honest, man, and accept it,"- He said, his tone serious, -"I guess you two have problems then, because Marco is kind of gloomy today."

Even Connie noticed, -"It's all my fault, I messed up…"- I began speaking, but having Connie into this matter didn't appeal me, -"Connie, please…"

-"Yeah, yeah, man, don't worry,"- He promised and before stepping out of the shower room, he gazed back at me, -"Just promise me you'll set things straight and do the right thing."

He left and I put back on my shirt and headed out. I ended up dragging Connie into this huge mess. I will never look at him without thinking about this. Who else will I drag?

O.O