*A/N at the end of this chapter

15. It's Over, Isn't It?

The ninth and tenth day came and went without much change on Earth. Lapis was still absent, her location unknown even by Sapphire. The ocean gem was moving too quickly and going nowhere in particular, so she was nearly impossible to track. The best information Sapphire could give them was that she hadn't landed on solid ground and had no real intention to do so, her water wings carrying in search of a destination she would never find. The troubled blue gem was simply moving, following the arch of the sun in the sky, never quite reaching it before the moon would reveal itself on the other end of the Earth. As for why she fled, Sapphire and Connie acted oblivious.

And they all worried, but none more so than Peridot. Why did she leave? Did she give up? Certainly there was something that Connie and Lapis must know that was different than what Sapphire had told everyone else – Steven was gone, taken by Homeworld, in space, the Blue Arm Ship – that was all information they had guessed anyways. Just the day before, Peridot thought they had really connected over their fears for Steven in the clutches of Homeworld, and the green gem thought that they were stronger for having shared their feelings. What had changed?

She didn't even say goodbye…

All of the ninth day, the human girl and Sapphire were both tense, keeping their distance from everyone (including each other). Peridot was pretty sure she heard Connie crying in the night and the whispers of Pearl to calm her down, but the exchange had been so quiet part of her thought she had imagined it.

Was Lapis out there crying too, but alone? She can't be gone forever, she's going to come back. Right?

In spite of all the company, the barn felt empty to Peridot. Pumpkin would rest with her at night, snuggling into her side in the hammock, which was painfully vacant without Lapis. During the day, their energetic orange companion would bark at the second floor balcony, waiting for Lapis to come down from watching TV or reading something. But she never turned on the TV, never came down, never said goodbye…

Around the barn, it was a bustle of activity. Now that Sapphire explained some more specific details, they could more adequately prepare and develop a plan. The prophetic gem informed them that their odds weren't good, but that they had to try, and no one disagreed. So, day-in and day-out Peridot was working on more adjustments to perfect her gemstone fortification modifications (gem-mods, for short) for each Crystal Gem. Additionally, she used Pearl's illustration of human body to try her best to equip Connie; crafting an armor light enough so as not to slow her down, but to block most of her major organs from direct hits.

The teacher and student duo were tirelessly working, acting as pillars of motivation for each other. When one fell in weakness, the other stood twice as tall for the both of them. During the morning, the pair would work on adjustments to the Ruby ship without Peridot (busy at work on her gem-mods) to make sure it was suitable for long journeys with humans and working on stealth improvements to better their chances of acting covertly in space. At mid-day, the two would break to train (which, Peridot noted, did not really seem like a break). But she didn't intervene; it was good for them both, the green gem could tell, to stay busy and focus on something other than what might be happening to Steven. Besides ever since her argument in favor of regular sleep and rest from their first days at the barn, most of the others had adopted Connie's sleep schedule, resting or fully sleeping during the night. They all managed to do this without taking on too much guilt, Sapphire having told them a window of time was not immediate.

Amethyst, much to Peridot's surprise, was hardly sleeping at all. Knowing the purple gem was accustomed to adopting human needs like eating, she expected Amethyst to be using the designated rest period to recharge like the others. But, the purple gem explained that she was resting, just not sleeping. They had shared a moment when she was fitting Amethyst to her gem-mod.

Uh, Peri, weird question. Does it make me… a bad person to spy on people?

Why would you ask something like that?

Cause, geez P-dot, I don't know. Amethyst crossed her arms and was blushing slightly.

Well, who have you been watching?

It's… never mind.

C'mon, now you have to tell me!

Fine, whatever. It's Pearl, but it's, like, no big deal. It's not like I'm 'watching her' anyways. Just, at night, when she sleeps, she doesn't mean to but she projects her dreams from her gem. They're… usually about Ste-man, and its relaxing to me in a different way. You know?

They were all dealing with Steven's absence in different ways. Who was she to judge?

…Yes, I think I do. I don't think you're a bad person.

While the others busied themselves, Amethyst was never far from Peridot's side, more-or-less adopting the role of test subject. After they had the bonding moment during her fitting, Peridot hatched the brilliant plan to employ Amethyst as the perfect candidate to test her gem-mods. By shapeshifting into other gems, everyone else was free to focus on other things while Amethyst's shapeshifted gemstones wouldn't be damaged in a misfire or problematic mod. Unable to resist, the two would engage in the occasional "shenanigan," as Pearl called it, giggling and exchanging jokes as they spent most of the day together.

Ruby and Sapphire were always together, to no one's surprise, but they were also absent from the barn. However, unlike the missing blue gem, everyone knew where they were and when to expect them to return. Because they needed to be ready to leave at any moment, to Sapphire's suggestion, they had made it their personal project to reassemble the damage to the house and the Temple. That way, when Steven returns to Earth, he can return to the safety of his home. Peridot had given the blue and red gem some spare repairing gel from one of her disabled flask robonoids to help with repairing the warp pad, but that was the best she could do as far as repairs. Although it was getting easier, Peridot couldn't help but feel uncomfortable speaking to them unfused. She liked the Garnet, not these two – she didn't dislike them, either, thinking about their performance on the baseball field to protect her, but the green gem acknowledged that she had struggled with friendship since the beginning of her life on Earth. Understanding Garnet had been hard enough, but now she felt like she had to re-learn everything she knew about the Garnet in two separate forms. It wasn't just an emotional attachment of missing the Garnet, she reasoned, it was simply more rational to have them occupy a singular mind.

And though Peridot was still working on grasp of Earth culture, even she recognized the irony of her justification. Opposite words had once come out of her very own mouth, directed at Garnet, telling her how it made her uncomfortable for her to be permanently fused. How things have changed…

In the present, the tenth day, it was almost night time. Amethyst nudged Peridot in the ribs at a joke she had missed, but the green gem laughed anyways – it was how she was generally supposed to react, as social convention had taught her, when Amethyst would nudge her. Across from them sat Connie and Pearl, both looking fatigued from another day of training and hard work. The human girl was helping herself to some sausages that Pearl had prepared while Amethyst ate the grease, packaging, and a burnt log. The teacher-student pair chatted quietly to each other from across the fire, and by the sound of it, it was about some technicality with swords that Peridot had very little interest in. Peridot was unsurprised when Steven's pink lion that had appeared a few days ago lumbered towards the group and settled on the ground behind the human girl, curling protectively against her back. Since finding them at the barn, the lion was rather with Connie or nowhere to be seen altogether. As for Ruby and Sapphire, the only others missing (besides the obvious exception of Lapis), they should be returning anytime now, by warp pad if they were lucky, or on foot if they couldn't finish the repairs today.

They were all working so hard, she thought, and they had a common goal that brought them together. Peridot called herself a clod and rested a face in her hand as the thought came to her, realizing that this was exactly what she had wanted. She had even said the words to Steven, of all people.

I just miss having something to do with my hands. The time we all spent working on the drill? Despite the fact that I was fearing for my life, it was important to me. It made me feel important.

Now, she had gotten what she wanted. They were all together again, and she was working tirelessly to be a valuable member of the team. But, this time, she feared for his life, not her own.

/

Just as she was about to scarf down another log, Amethyst's ears perked up at the familiar sound of a warp pad activating. The world's favorite power couple must be back, Amethyst guessed. She figured they must have really pulled out all the stops on the repairs to get it done already, and the purple gem was right. A few moments after the sound hushed, the red and blue gem appeared beyond the nearby hills and they both looked exhausted yet satisfied. Amethyst frowned as she saw how disheveled poor Sapphire looked, the usually dignified gem's hair even more a mess than her own. She hasn't rested once since this whole thing started, unable to sleep, too bothered by whatever it is she was seeing in the future.

Ruby began to make herself comfortable, greeting the others, but Sapphire paused. Her face fell into a grimace and pointed into the western trees, where the dirt path led up to the barn.

"There are humans coming. Friends of Steven's. I'm not sure what they want, but they will be here soon." Everyone was surprised by the sudden announcement, all glancing nervously at the road and waiting for the sound or lights of a car to approach. Just in case, Amethyst shapeshifted, taking the form of an owl to fly above the others, watchful, careful…

The sight coming up the road surprised her. She heard them before she saw them, but the car became visible from the sky only moments later. There was loud music, something modern and metal-sounding, and a moment later the pizza car appeared with one of the Pizza girls driving – Jenny, maybe? Amethyst recognized her other passengers – Vidalia's kid and Buck Dewey, and…? There were others crammed in the backseat, but they were more difficult to see behind the driver's seat.

Either way, Amethyst didn't really care. Sapphire had been right, they were Steven's friends, and they certainly weren't dangerous. She descended back to the ground and took her seat next to Peridot again, returning to her original shape.

"Eh, it's just the 'cool kids' that Steven sometimes hang out with. The ones that Garnet almost punched out when we were looking for Peri." She winked at the green gem, but her gestured was just returned with a confused look.

Predictably, Peridot vocalized her concern a moment later. "Well, what do they want?"

Amethyst shrugged and inhaled a log in front of her, mouth smoking. "Dunno. Why don't you ask them?"

Pearl stood up, annoyed, and Connie mirrored her a moment later. "I'm sure they just want to check in since we haven't been home. Greg did say he was going to update the people in town, it was only a matter of time."

Gem and human crossed their arms and waited for the car to pull up. It only took about another minute and they arrived, but to Amethyst's surprise she recognized the people from the Big Donut, Lars and Sadie. She had met them both at least a baker's dozen times for as often as she would go there with Steven.

The music turned off and the night returned to a chorus of crickets chirping as the group got out of the car, slamming their doors and approaching the fire.

What do these kids want? This conversation is about to suck, real bad. Ugh…

Amethyst decided she would let Pearl do the talking, keeping her seat and continuing to chew the wood in her mouth. It was hot and burned her tongue, but in a good way.

"Hey ya'll." It was Jenny who spoke, the others following behind her.

"Hello. It's, Jenny, right? Jenny Pizza?" Pearl's arms were still crossed, not really inviting them to sit or come closer.

"Yep, and you all know the gang." She gestured behind her, and Amethyst snickered to herself. No, they didn't. She was probably the only one who knew all of them.

/

They stood there in silence for a while longer and things quickly turned awkward. Jenny looked behind her at Lars, the kid from the donut shop, and eventually ushered him forward.

Sadie spoke up as Lars hesitated to move, grabbing his hand and dragging him along. "Uh, sorry guys. Mr. Universe, he told us what was going on. We didn't want to… interrupt, but Lars has something that could be useful? Maybe not, but we figured, heck why not – " but she was cut off by Lars.

"Let go of me, Sadie! I can speak for myself." He wrenched his hand away from her, but he was already standing in front of everyone. The Crystal Gems just stared at them, not sure what to make of the unexpected scene unfolding in the orange glow of the fire.

The skinny boy took in a long deep breath, adjusted the hair that fell over his face, and began speaking hastily. Connie suspected he was nervous to be the center of attention.

"Yeah, so uh, Steven's dad said he went…missing… and it took me a while to figure it out. But," he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and started poking at the screen.

"Steven left me a voicemail that night. It's, uh, really weird. I thought he was just being annoying or called me by accident, cause the message is over an hour long. It might not be helpful, but… I thought you should all, you know, hear it?"

First, there was shock that settled into each Crystal Gem. How could they not have thought to see if Steven contacted anyone else? They had Connie's text message, so Steven must have had his phone. Connie felt her stomach clench at the prospect of what might be on that message, though, horribly nervous that it could make them all come undone. They had worked so hard, been so focused…

Pearl was the first one to break the stasis, practically leaping forward and trying to steal away Lar's phone. Thankful for her improved reflexes, Connie quickly grabbed her arm to hold her back, trying to avoid a social mishap.

The girl spoke before Pearl made things worse. "Please, can we hear the message?"

Lars was eyeing Pearl uncomfortably, the way her eyes were watering and the way she had surged towards him, but he figured things were serious so he nodded.

After a few moments of pushing buttons, he put his phone on speaker and began to play the message. At first there was nothing, so he said "It's kind of long. Just, keep listening."

Silence, maybe the moving of fabric but no words. A minute passed.

BOOM. There was a loud crash, a horrible skidding sound of metal and wood.

More silence, then, a voice.

"Where are they? They are supposed to be here."

"Apatite, the signals. To sooner get off this sad excuse of a colony."

Then, nothing for several minutes.

Lars raised his hand when Pearl opened her mouth to speak, a single finger indicating to hold on. It wasn't over yet. "There's more, just hold on… there's nothing but silence for like, twenty minutes. Let me…" He lowered his head and looked at the screen, moving it around, probably skipping ahead. Connie noted how he must have listened to the message several times, because when he hit play again, there was only about 10 seconds of silence before a noises could be heard again.

A banging noise started to grow, louder and louder, and then a new voice joined in to match the sound.

"Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong." They sounded very angry.

Then, another long silence. Lars similarly held up a finger and skipped ahead. Connie's hands were shaking, still holding Pearls arm. No one moved, listening intently now for anything, hoping to hear Steven's voice, or something, anything…

All quiet, when a softer voice broke the stillness.

"Rose Quartz…"

A few more minutes of silence.

There was a very small tapping sound. Then, just the smallest sigh, but everyone could tell it had come from Steven. There was just something about his voice. The phone beeped.

The message had ended.

No one dared speak. The fire was crackling and the gems looked desperately at each other, but no words escaped them. Pearl had become stiff, unmoving in Connie's grasp. Connie felt she should say something, anything, but what could she say?

Lars finally broke the silence, when no one spoke, face softer than Connie had ever seen it. He looked… afraid, and really, really sad. Then again, everyone looked sad since Steven had been gone, so maybe Connie was just projecting.

"The uh, message came in at 11:14 PM, and his Dad said no one had really seen him that day. It ended after 66 minutes… a lot of it was just silence, that's why I skipped ahead, but I dunno, it seemed…" he didn't finish his sentence, shoving his phone back in his jeans, eyes studying his feet. Connie was thankful that Lars had spared them the long pauses of nothingness. She thought about sitting there for an hour, trying to make out just the faintest sound of Steven breathing; the suspense might have killed her.

None of them said it, but they realized that this was so, so important. It wasn't much, and everyone had been able to piece together the parts of what might have happened, but this was something different. It was real; not just strung together speculations, but tangible evidence from that night. It was inspiring and heartbreaking all in one. She couldn't get the sound of the typing and the small sigh at the end.

"The message… it ended, right when Steven sent me the text. 12:21 AM." Connie said to no one in particular, releasing Pearl from her grip as her arm fell to her side.

Some of them stood, some of them sat, but no one spoke after that. There was just the crickets and the kindling, tuning to the pitch of emotions that flooded over their congregation in the country. The universe was an ambivalent place, stopping for no one, unapologetic as reality pushed irrevocably forward. The smell of smoke and sausages floated through the air, joining the melody of nature, turning the oppressive music into something greater than them all. It created a moment, a single fixed moment in time, just like the message. This was now, that was then, and somehow the two existed simultaneously. The reality they occupied now was like the lens of a camera, adjusting and re-adjusting as the textures and colors of space came into focus. Their gathering at that moment was predicated – indeed, necessitated – because of the other side of time that played through that message. Everything had seemed a certain way, and more or less had been what they all expected, but their collective world that came into focus was different, new – informed by a heavy truth that needed not be said aloud. "Steven was kidnapped" was no longer an abstract source of motivation, a bonding force that drew the Crystal Gems together. It was reality, and it hurt.

Eventually, after several minutes of thoughtful silence, Ruby disrupted their quiet reflections. She was fuming, literally steaming with rage, but she forced out gentile words for the human's sake.

"Thank you. This is… useful. We have a lot to talk about, so would you all mind going?" The last part struck Connie as harsh considering the journey they made to show them this, but Ruby was not necessarily known for being temperate.

The gang of teenagers did not ask for an explanation or even look offended. Instead, they all just silently returned to the pizza car, carrying their thoughts as baggage for the road. Before reaching for the door handle, Sadie hesitated and turned back to the group around the fire. Lars paused alongside her.

She spoke to Connie, the only other human, probably not sure who to really address. "Let us know if he, you know, is okay. We're worried about him."

Connie managed a small smile, appreciative of her kind words.

"We all are. I'll let you know when we know something, I promise."

/

No one spoke after the humans drove off. Sapphire looked sad, but everyone else looked contemplative and unsure. Amethyst looked like she wanted to speak several times, and had even begun to speak once or twice, but her voice trailed off as she stared into the glowing flames before them.

Pearl felt like she was having an out-of-body-experience, which was impossible, since her body was made out of light. But she couldn't help it, the sounds and the sigh and voices replaying in her head, again and again, while her corporeal presence stared into the fire like the rest of them. She was far away from this place, back in Beach City, ten nights ago.

She had been worried, every day and every night, about Steven, but there was some sort of distance she had been able to place after the first day at the Temple that had help her keep it together. A sort of blissful ignorance, an automated will that she had engineered from Connie's and the other's solidarity, a manufactured resolve that she employed like fuel for an engine. Every time she thought about him, or him hurting, or that day when he had been alone, she managed to push the thoughts away, bury them, and chug forward with her synthetic motivation. Things hadn't felt real, even when Sapphire had come back to them. The experiences she's been having, it felt like something she read in a book, but not something that was happening to her, here, on Earth.

Now, things were different. The sounds, the contortion of metal, the splintering of wood… She was back at the house all over again, trying to imagine the owners of the two voices, imagine where Steven had been during the dialogue. She had known several Apatite gems before the war, and none of them were particularly friendly. Actually, in many ways, they were like Peridots (although nothing like their Peridot). They specialized in mechanics and were disposable enough to use for scouting missions of new colonies, in case something went wrong, but she had no idea which voice had belonged to her. The other speaker was also a mystery, but her imagination filled in the rest. Two figures, standing over her little boy, threatening, smashing his home, while he was hurt, the blood on the wall, his ripped shirt…

Around her, the others had started to change and move, but she was frozen. She had started crying at some point but she hardly noticed. They were silent, racking sobs, but the others let her have her moment of grief.

But now, as Pearl sat and sobbed, Connie was at her shoulder. It felt like Connie was always at her shoulder these days, the girl having become her rock throughout this nightmare.

"Pearl? Come on, it's… you should sleep. It might help. I'm going to bed, too." Her voice sounded hollow, not carrying its usual notes of enthusiasm or respect that she reserved especially for speaking with Pearl.

The white gem obliged to Connie's request, her mindless body being pulled and eventually lain down by Amethyst in their sleeping spot above the others, atop the make-shift balcony.

Steven… where are you? What did they do to you? Please, come home, or stay safe and we'll come after you. I promise, I'll come after you. Just wait for me…

"C'mon P, you should try to sleep. Connie was right, it might help…" Amethyst was sitting up next to her, and to her surprise, placed a comforting hand on her arm. Pearl didn't shrug her off, but the words felt empty to her. She just wanted to hold him one more time, tell him how proud she was, how much she loved him…

After many long hours, Amethyst had fallen asleep next to her and Pearl was drifting in and out of consciousness. She suspected it was a product of the intense day of physical labor she and Connie had, but her mind did not feel ready to rest. She was still teary-eyed and her chest felt tight with anxiety, missing him, wondering what had happened, thinking about that tiny sigh at the end of the human's message, the hateful way they spoke Rose's name, how it had all gone so wrong, so fast…

Pearl was inside of the house, making breakfast for Greg and Steven. They would be showing up anytime now, returning from a trip to the Keystone State. Garnet and Amethyst were nowhere to be seen, probably in their Temple rooms, so Pearl would summon them in a moment.

This breakfast was going to be special. She wanted to surprise Steven since he had been away from home for several days, so Pearl was preparing a "together breakfasts," but without any of the unappetizing components. As such, the gem moved around the kitchen gracefully, pulling out plates and whipped cream and started some waffles in the toaster. Pearl mused to herself about Steven's love of strawberries and ice cream, trying to concoct the perfect pairing for his special breakfast.

The dream continued like this for a while, Pearl fluttering around, keeping herself busy. She checked the time on the microwave – 11:09, already?! They would be here any moment, and the food was almost ready. She was about to turn to the Temple door to call for the others, but it opened at that exact moment. Perfect, she thought, they can help set the table.

Looking into the fridge as she grabbed some juice, Pearl called over her shoulder.

"Garnet? Amethyst? Thank goodness you're here, it's almost – " and she turned to see whoever had shown up.

Steven?

"Pearl?" He looked as shocked as she felt. She dropped the carton of juice, the whole thing splashing onto the floor.

It sounded so much like him, but it wasn't possible, Pearl thought. He had only been gone 10 days, how could so much have changed?

He was thinner, for certain, and he looked… well, awful. His shoulders were slumped, his hair hadn't been washed, his jeans were ripped in several places, and his starry shirt was gone entirely, replaced by a white tunic that was too big for him. He was barefoot and he had bruises on his arms, but the worst part was his eyes. They had none of their usual glow, the way they usually sparkled when he laughed or when he was excited to see her. His eyes… they were just dull, lifeless orbs.

Pearl was frozen in disbelief. This couldn't really be Steven, right? No, she must be internalizing how bad she imagined things, and this was just an illusion. Pearl was vaguely aware that she must be asleep.

"Oh my gosh, PEARL!" Steven had been studying her, too, stunned by her presence. He had dreams about all of them (when he hadn't been knocked or thrown into some unconscious stupor), but this Pearl was different. She looked tired, and sad. So, so sad. But he knew it was her, somehow, a feeling he recognized. He had traveled through dreams before, and this is exactly how that felt.

He flew forward at her, forgetting about how messed up everything was, forgetting about Holly Blue Agate and Blue Diamond and everything else. She had gone perfectly still at first, but the moment he wrapped his arms around her she completely melted. That warmth, that voice… it felt like years since she felt his tiny arms around her and heard his innocent voice. It really was him.

They were both crying hysterically, overwhelmed to be reunited like this, laughing and giggling and crying as she scooped him up and twirled him in a hug. Steven had never been so happy in his entire life, and though Pearl's life was much longer, she was pretty sure she felt the same.

After several long minutes of crying and laughing and grasping each other, not wanting it to stop, they eventually slowed the spinning but neither let the other go. Pearl lowered Steven gently to the ground, but kneeled down to be at his height, never releasing him from her grasp completely. He looked a mess, but that sparkle was back in his eye, and she worried that if she let him go she would lose him all over again.

Steven was looking at her lovingly, and he continued laughing and slapped his forehead.

"I wonder if it's because the cuffs are gone? Wow this is just, wow, so weird. To think, a dream about breakfast, and then, bam! Wow. I can't believe it's really you, Pearl." He giggled happily, pulling her into another hug. Pearl was just beaming and her heart sang when he said her name. She pulled him back to look him over again, resting one hand on his shoulder and moving the other to his face to wipe away fresh tears.

"Geez, and I dreaming about food? Of all things, I would have expected Amethyst…" and his voice trailed off. Something flickered in his face that Pearl noticed – was it pain, maybe? He refocused his eyes after a moment, gazing at Pearl, who looked worried.

"Steven? What is it?" She tried not to glance down at his arms, bruised and swollen in odd places, but couldn't help it. What had they done to him? Then, suddenly, Steven grabbed her by the shoulders and held her firmly.

"Pearl. Listen to me. I don't know how much time I have." His eyes glanced around nervously, though they were alone.

Steven had dropped his voice to a whisper, his words spilling over in a rush. "Just, there's something I need to tell you. All of you – tell the others."

Pearl was alarmed at his sudden change. In a moment he went from his usual happy, bubbly self to tense and frantic. "Steven, what's going on? Do you know where you are? Are… are you hurt?"

"That doesn't matter. Just, please Pearl, tell the others. Don't come after me. Don't try to find me. It's… I'm not worth it."

Pearl didn't know what to say, but she was crying again. What was going on? How could he possibly think something like that? He looked so scared, so stressed…

"What? Steven, don't be ridiculous. Of course we'll come after you, why would you even say that?"

"No!" He snapped at her, sharper than he intended. He was angry but he could see the hurt on her face, so he tried to soften his approach. This was so important, he hadn't thought of what he could say, never expected this…

"Please, Pearl. I don't know what Garnet can see with future vision, but don't come. There's… a lot has happened." Then, his gaze became distant, and he was obviously thinking about something beyond the dream that they were sharing.

The hurt and sadness in his voice were so palpable. She couldn't help but continue to cry as he held her shoulders and looked into her eyes.

"Steven… what did they do to you?"

He winced at her question, which only confirmed her fears. He didn't answer her, but his reaction was enough: they had hurt him, and it was much worse than Sapphire had indicated.

"Did Garnet… do you know… Opalite?" He was struggling to put his thoughts together, and he was breathing heavy. The last word was barely audible at his lips.

"Opalite? No, Steven, it's Opal. You remember, a giant woman," she hummed the last part, trying to get him to smile that wonderful smile again. He loved Opal, how could he forget? She moved a hand gently to his forehead, worried that he might be ill; it was clear they weren't feeding him enough. He did feel feverish, warm to the touch and Pearl noted that his body was shaking. Her attempt to comfort him with the little song had done nothing to change his expression, still distant and seeing something beyond their private moment in the dream house.

"R-right. Never mind." He shook his head, refocusing to look at her again. "Just, promise me, Pearl. I don't think I'll get this chance again. Promise me you won't come after me."

How could she possibly make that promise? Why was he asking this of her? He was acting so strange, and she wanted to take him in his arms and never let go.

She placed a hand on his in a motherly way, tender and soft and comforting.

"Steven… I…" she couldn't. She couldn't make that promise, but his eyes were searching for an answer, full of desperation she had never seen in him before. Before she could respond, Steven gasped lightly and covered his mouth with a hand.

"And Lapis… Pearl, tell Lapis I'm sorry. I never understood or appreciated what she did for me. She…" He shivered in Pearl's grasp. "I can't even imagine. Just, tell her."

Now Pearl was confused, but glad that he had stopped asking her to make an impossible promise. "Lapis? We can't find her, she flew off when..."

Steven dismissed the concern. "You can, I know you can. If anyone can bring her back, it's Peridot. Let her help. And, tell Peri I'm happy she stayed. The last time we talked, she said she wasn't important – tell her that wasn't true, and that I'm sorry I laughed. She is so important: to me, to Lapis, to Pumpkin. And," Steven's words were coming out in rapid fire, not giving Pearl a chance to interrupt, "Garnet. Tell her how much care about her. I got her note – in the cereal bowl. Tell her I love her too, and thank her for me, for everything. And Dad… Tell him I'm sorry, maybe he can take care of Lion, or go back on the road or something. I love them all. Please, tell them. And Amethyst…" he flinched as he said her name, something that struck Pearl as odd.

"Tell her I'm so, so sorry. She'll understand someday. I just… can't…"

They were both crying again, tears and hugs not enough to heal everything that had torn them apart. Steven was so weak in her arms, so she held him tighter as he sobbed into her shoulder. What could she do? What could she say?

"And Connie… there's so much I wanted to say to her that I never did. Tell her I'm sorry that I wasted her time. I… love her, Pearl, I wish I could have told her. But I don't want to hurt her anymore. Please, keep training and let her go on missions and stuff if she wants to, or let her move on. I'll miss her so much..."

"Steven, why are you doing this? We can come find you… we can save the day, like we always do." She tried to lift a comforting hand to the back of his head, to let him nuzzle into her, but she recoiled when she felt the scab and stickiness that matted down his hair. She thought about the blood from the Temple…

Steven readjusted himself to face her again, trying to reduce his tears to a sniffle. He held her once again by the shoulders and tried to look resolute, but Pearl could tell he was shaking.

"No, Pearl, this is it. It's over, Homeworld… they won."

"N- no! It doesn't have to be this way, Steven. Let us – s" but she was cut off when Steven yelped in surprise. He had jumped back from her, looking at his wrist. Pearl glanced down at it too, taken off-guard by his sudden movement. Her eyes went wide.

Tears sprang up again in Steven's eyes as he grabbed his wrist with his other hand, a yellow diamond insignia on his wrist. It had begun to flash as they both stared at it. Steven knew what this meant, but Pearl didn't.

He flung himself at Pearl one last time, squeezing her as tight as he could.

"Good-bye, Pearl... I don't think I'll… ever see you again. I love you."

She gripped him hard, holding him close. He was warm, but it was fading.

"Steven, no! I love you too, but please, just don't…"

But before she could finish, he was gone.

She was alone in front of the fridge, kneeling in spilled orange juice, the smell of burnt waffles taking over her senses. There was so many tears, so many feelings, and Pearl resigned to hugging herself, pretending he was still there, sobbing in her sorrow.

To her surprise, she was awoken a moment later by a… hug? Her eyes flew open, thinking Steven had come back to her, but it was Amethyst. It was pitch black in the countryside as she sat up, hysterical, being held by her fellow Crystal Gem.

"A—Amethyst? But… wheres?" She started to question what was happening, but her heart hurt too much so she just let Amethyst hold her, crying and shifting so she could hug her back.

"I'm sorry, Pearl. I shouldn't have been watching." Amethyst said quietly, gripping her even closer in the embrace. For the moment, Pearl was too miserable to care about the invasion of her privacy. She was too miserable to care about anything, really. She just let the tears fall as she looked up into the stars.

*Author's note:

Thanks for reading along everyone! As of Chapter 14, we broke 50,000 words. Wow. I appreciate all of the comments you leave for me, they make me really question my choices as a writer with chapter I write. Feel free to private message me additional comments or questions if you don't want to make your thoughts public.