Shortly after dropping Steven's dad off at the house, Connie, Steven, and Pearl heard the sound of gunfire within the city.
"We gotta hurry!" said Steven.
On command, Lion increased his pace, and then conjured up a portal in front of the group.
They exited at the west corner of Sussex and Fenton. Although there didn't seem to be as many of the strange creatures as they had encountered near Greg's car wash, there was a fairly sizable cluster of them gathered near one of the houses across the street.
"Oh no, Onion!"
A few of the creatures turned towards the Gems when Pearl shined her light upon them, though most of them still focused their attention towards Onion's residence.
A few of the weaponless knights began to stride into the open garage.
-POW!-POW!-POW!-
Although the shots initially just pushed the soldiers back, by the time the third shot hit, they had all poofed into nothingness.
"There's no way I'm letting you get your filthy hands on my boys!"
Most of the other creatures, comprised of a mixture of basic shadows, soldiers, beak-copters, and a few air-horn like things, continued shuffling around in the middle of the street, though some began to disperse out a bit.
"I'll take care of this."
Pearl stepped forward and then blasted several shots at the group ahead.
-BOOM!-BOOM!-BOOM!-
About a third of the swarm had been cleared out, causing many of them to spread out after witnessing Pearl's firepower. Some of the air-horns began to levitate up into the air and began making honk-like noises, though they did not appear to have any visible effect.
Down the street, they saw a pair of headlights turn in from Crawford, which first sped up before stopping two houses down from Onion's house.
"Who's that?" asked Connie.
As the light shined down on them, some of the shadow beings closer to the car turned towards it.
Upon a closer inspection, it appeared to be Jenny Pizza.
"Steven," she said, standing up from where she was, "you guys okay?"
"Yeah!" said Steven as he jumped off Lion. Connie followed suit.
"What are those things?"
"We're not sure. We think they might be gems."
"Less talk, more taking care of whatever these things are!" Pearl said as she slashed through one of the soldiers that came close.
"Well, looks like you've got things under control there!"
Jenny returned back into her seat.
"Let's take care of this one, Steven!" Connie said as she pointed to one of the air-horns hiding beside Onion's house.
"Okay!"
The two of them ran up towards it, and in a series of swift swipes, the creature dissipated. Steven bubbled the heart that emerged and then sent it away. They probably could've taken up what was left of the mob in the street, but Connie didn't want either of them getting blasted apart by shotgun pellets.
A few moments later, and all of the creatures within the immediate area were gone.
"Alright," said Steven, "let's see if Onion and the others are okay."
By the time Steven, Connie, and Pearl gathered up in front of the house, Vidalia emerged with a shotgun in hand, followed by her sons Sour Cream and Onion, who were holding a metal bat and crowbar respectively.
"Thanks for helping us out," said Vidalia.
"Yeah," said Sour Cream, "way to go guys."
"Don't sweat it," said Pearl.
"We were just hoping you guys were alright," said Steven.
Vidalia glanced among the three of them, and then turned towards Connie, "Have we met?"
"Connie."
"Name's Vidalia, and these are my boys, Sour Cream and Onion," she said, gesturing to each one respectively.
As this all was going on, Jenny drove closer in her Pizza-styled car, stopping just before one of the craters that had been formed from Pearl's energy blasts, "Yo, Sour Cream!"
"Whassup?" he responded. "Your folks having problems with these things too?"
"Well, there were a couple near the shop, but most of 'em just flat out ignored us."
"Huh, weird."
"Well," said Vidalia, "anyway… it's Pearl, right?"
"Yes," she replied.
"Well, we were holding off those things pretty well before you guys came. Turns out my boys here are pretty good fighters, and once we cleared those things out of the house, well, they weren't getting past me."
Too bad Steven's dad wasn't so lucky.
Onion walked up to Steven and tugged on his arm.
"What is it Onion?" he asked.
Onion briefly looked down, and then began to head into the open garage.
"Is it about that DVD you gave me?"
Onion turned around, and nodded.
"What about it?"
Onion glanced around, and then paced around a bit before finally pointing up in the sky.
Steven, Connie, and Pearl looked up.
"Are you saying it came from outer space?"
Onion briefly closed his eyes and crossed his arms in contemplation. After a short pause, he released his arms, and nodded in affirmation.
"But… that can't be right," said Pearl.
Right at that moment, a loud scream came from behind Vidalia's residence, "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!"
"It sounds like Lars is in danger!" said Steven.
"You guys go ahead and do your thing," said Jenny. "I'm gonna check to see if Buck's alright. Sour Cream, you want in?"
"Heck yeah!"
Sour Cream jumped into Jenny's Pizza-mobile, which rapidly sped up and swerved past the potholes now lining the street.
As Steven, Connie, Pearl, and Lion began crossing into Vidalia's back yard, they saw Lars's house rapidly going up in flames.
"LARS!" they heard Sadie say some distance away.
Once through, they saw Lars and his parents running away from a red-dressed wizard-pod, which was hurling fireballs towards them.
"Can't somebody so something about this thing?" shouted Lars's dad.
This one shouldn't be too much of a problem.
Connie leaped onto the sidewalk, and Pearl began rushing towards the pod.
When Connie noticed Steven hadn't gotten off Lion, she turned back, only to hear him say, "I'm gonna see if Lapis and Peridot can help with putting out these flames."
"Good thinking, Steven!"
As Steven and Lion exited through a portal, Connie readied her sword. Pearl attempted to slice her weapon through the pod up ahead, but it drifted out of reach when she got close.
At around this time, Sadie's mom exited her house.
"Sadie, what's going… what in the world…."
Pearl swept several more times at the wizard-pod, though it evaded each attack.
"How are you so fast?" Pearl seethed.
Connie ran around to intercept the pod as it floated back, but when she attempted to swipe through it, the pod drifted up, just out of her reach.
"Connie, be careful!"
"Sorry!"
The two of them then turned back towards the pod, which now drifted down the street.
Barbara began running up behind it.
As the pod turned to face her, she swiftly grasped it out of the air and then slammed it into the pavement.
"Gotcha!"
"How did she…" Pearl said in shock.
While pressing the creature into the ground, Sadie's mom repeatedly slammed her fist into the creature's body, causing it to make a squish-like noise with each impact.
"Take this! And this!"
With each punch, the creature made a small, squish-like noise, though overall it did not seem harmed by Barbara's attacks. Occasionally a slight, sun-like light tried to manifest on the top of the pod's hat, though each punch seemed to interrupt the creature's spell.
"This is what you get for trying to ruin my city!"
Although about a minute or so had passed, the creature didn't look anywhere near close to being dead.
"I think that's enough mom," said Sadie.
"Nonsense! Just look at this thing!"
Connie and the others began to approach Barbara as she kept walloping on the creature.
"Um, Barbara," said Pearl, "could you keep holding it down for us?"
"I don't think your punches are doing anything to it," said Sadie.
"Oh, alright." Barbara looked a bit dejected as she said this.
She continued holding the creature down as its bird-like feet struggled from underneath the pod's cloak.
Since Connie was the closest, she raised Rose's sword up, and then struck it through the pod. Pearl bubbled the heart that came out soon after.
"Thank goodness you guys are here!" said Lars's mom.
"What the heck is going on around here?" Lars screamed. "What was that thing?"
"We're still not sure," Pearl responded.
"Also, where's Steven?"
"He ran off to get someone who can help put out this fire," said Connie.
Though if he's taking this long, there's probably trouble at the barn as well.
"Well why not just call the fire department?" asked Lars's mom.
"The phones lines aren't working!" said Lars.
"Yeah," said Sadie, "and knowing Steven, this way's…"
MAYOR DEWEY! MAYOR DEWEY! MAYOR DEWEY!
At that very moment, they all heard the dreaded incantation of Mayor Dewey's van coming from the west side of Beach City. Far in the distance, a pair of headlights came swerving in from the end of Waterman Street, though it was approaching much faster than the mayor's cumbersome van should have been able to travel.
Everyone ran to the sides of the street.
Connie then saw Lion leap out from a portal on the beach, with Steven, Lapis and Peridot mounted on the beast's back.
Peridot jumped off almost immediately, swinging the heavy end of a vacuum left and right upon landing.
"Alright, where are those charcoal-manufactured, hologram-gem-imitating clods?"
Lapis also spoke, though she was a bit harder to hear. Shortly after, however, she dismounted from Lion, and channeled a large stream of water over Lars's house, before engulfing it entirely.
"Our house…" said Lars's dad.
By this point, Jenny's car had driven up close to the group, and Mayor Dewey's van could now be seen further down the street.
Although Connie was able to recognize Buck Dewey and Sour Cream from before, there were two new individuals sitting in the back seat besides Buck Dewey. One of them, sitting behind Jenny, had short, somewhat silvery hair and deep blue eyes, and seemed to be wearing a white vest. The other man, whose arms stretched around the two men beside him, wore his hair out long and spiky. Like the other strange boy beside him, he also had deep bluish eyes.
As everyone but Jenny exited the pizza-mobile, Connie heard Steven and Peridot approach behind her.
"Sorry for the delay," said Steven, "but there more of those things near the barn."
His attention turned to the new individuals.
"Say, I don't think I ever got your names."
"Don't worry, Steven. They're cool," said Buck.
Now that the four teenagers were standing outside Jenny's car, it was easier to see the new figures in person. Although slightly shorter, the silver-haired boy seemed much more physically imposing, especially with his well-developed physique and bulging biceps. He also seemed much more determined and focused than his partner, holding his arms firm while his partner adopted a more relaxed pose.
The silver-haired boy spoke first, "So you're Steven?"
"Yeah," said Steven. "Anyway, this is Connie, Pearl, Lion, Lars, Peridot…"
Steven continued introducing everyone within the area to the newcomers until he was finished, gesturing to each one in turn.
"Lapis is busy doing her own thing, but she'll be with us shortly."
It was at this point that Connie noticed that the mayor's van was no longer playing its monotonous tune, and was just parked a few dozen feet away from the group.
At this time, Lapis also began to retract her stream back into the ocean.
"Well," said the white-vested boy, "this is Lea."
"Hey!" Lea planted his wrists on his hips.
"And I'm Riku."
Riku glanced at each of the gems, and then briefly took notice of Connie's sword before turning towards Pearl.
"I take it you're the Crystal Gems?"
"Sort of…" said Pearl, turning her head to the side.
"Well what do you mean?" said Lea.
"Well," said Connie, "not all of us are here."
"Yeah," said Lapis as she walked toward the group, "where is Garnet and Amethyst anyway?"
"Uh, about that…" said Pearl.
"Well," Steven spoke up, "Amethyst is back at the temple to protect it from those shadow things."
"You mean the Heartless?" Riku interrupted.
"I guess so?" Steven paused. "Why are they called Heartless anyway?"
"They're beings devoid entirely of emotion, drawing from the darkness that lies deep within peoples hearts," Lea explained. "Though lately, they've been having trouble with that last part."
"But that doesn't explain why they're called Heartless," said Connie. "If those things that came out of them are supposed to be 'hearts,' then wouldn't it make sense to…"
Riku and Lea jolted back a bit upon hearing this.
"You have a keyblade?" Lea uttered.
"A what now?" Connie replied.
Riku shook his head and then uprighted himself. "A keyblade."
He held his right hand out, and a strange, shadowy weapon materialized in his hand. A demonic wing seemed to form the weapon's main blade, with an angelic wing attached near the tip. Another set of wings formed the sword's guard. A black, heart-club sigil, similar to the emblems etched onto the Heartless, was joined to the sword's pommel via an inflexible chain.
As Connie examined the sword, she couldn't imagine just why anyone would call this thing a keyblade.
"That…"
"Keyblades generally don't look like that," said Lea. "Usually, they're supposed to look like actual keys. Got that…"
"Do you have one?" asked Connie.
Lea shrugged. "I wish. That's part of the reason I'm even on this adventure."
Connie briefly lifted up Rose's sword before her. "I think I saw this turn into something like that, if only for a second."
"Hmm…" Lea adopted a "thinker-like" pose. "Well that explains a few things."
"What do you mean?" asked Steven.
"I don't think these things can be destroyed by anything that doesn't involve magical gem stuff or whatever these guys got," said Sadie.
"You sure?" asked Sour Cream. "Cause we didn't have any problems with these Heartless or whatever they're called."
"You mean your family, right?" Pearl asked.
"Yeah."
"Huh," Lea remarked.
Riku briefly eyed the other white-haired teen, but chose not to comment.
"Well," said Jenny, "dad's probably wondering where I've been at, so I'm gonna head back to the shop for a sec. See y'all soon!"
After everyone had backed away from the car, Jenny drove off with the Pizza-mobile.
"Ahem!"
At the sound, everyone turned to face Mayor Dewey, who had been standing behind most of the group up until this point.
The mayor walked up to Riku and Lea and offered to shake their hands, to which they awkwardly accepted. "Gentlemen, once again I thank you for fixing whatever was wrong with th campaign vehicle. I've been listening in on this conversation so far…"
"Dad!" said Buck.
"Not now, son! But, anyway, what does this stuff about keyblades have to do with our current crisis?"
Sour Cream began to speak, "Haven't you been…"
"I'm not talking about these so-called Heartless! What about this blackout? If we don't solve this soon, people are going to riot! I don't want to have to wait another day for everything to return back to the way it was!"
"You sure…" Lea began.
"Whoa dad, why don't you just chill out for a second?" said Buck Dewey. "I'm sure the Gems and these new guys have got things covered."
"You're right," Mayor Dewey groaned.
The two newcomers seemed to contemplate to themselves, until Riku stepped forward and approached Steven.
"By the way, have you seen any of our friends by any chance?"
"I don't think so?" said Steven.
"What might they look like?" asked Pearl.
"Guess not," said Riku.
"If you're wondering," Lea added, "it's Sora, Donald, and Goofy. Always in that order. Got it memorized?"
"Yes," said Pearl, "but what do they look like?"
"Well, Sora's a keyblade wielder like our friend here, Donald's a duck, and Goofy's… well Goofy."
"Okay…? I guess that's helpful?"
"You'll know them when you see them," said Riku.
"We'll keep an eye out for them," said Steven. "By the way, do you guys think you could help out with something?"
"What do you have in mind?" asked Lea.
"Well, you see, something happened to our friend, Garnet, and since you guys and those things seem to be from some other world or dimension, I figured…"
"How do you know this?" asked Riku.
"It's kinda obvious," said Connie.
"Yeah," said Steven. "Anyway, Garnet started getting all these sparks when the aurora happened, and then she mentioned something about having these visions…"
Riku suddenly snapped forward. "What did she say?"
"I don't know. She said… I'm not sure, but she told me she didn't want me doing something. Whatever it was, I can't ask her anymore now that she's out cold like this."
Lea turned to his partner, "Do you think?"
"Did something happen?" asked Connie.
"Yeah…"
Riku briefly eyed the people surrounding them.
"Lea, I'm going to need you to watch over these people while I explain things to the Gems."
"Aww… I don't get to share my part of the story?" Lea responded.
"Sorry. Just see if you can find someplace safe for them to go."
"Now hold on just a minute!" said Mayor Dewey. "As mayor of this city, it is within my right to know just what is going on!"
"Yeah man," said Buck. "That ain't cool."
"Trust us," said Lea. "It's for your own good."
"Just what is so important that it needs to be kept a secret from all of us?" said Barbara.
"Could we all just be quiet for one second?" Pearl shouted.
Everyone began to quiet down.
"Thank you. Now look, I don't quite know everything that's going on, but if these boys think there's something so important that they can't share it right here, then there's probably a reason for it."
"Yeah," said Steven, "and if it turns out it's not so bad, then we can just tell everyone tomorrow."
"Sounds fine by me," said Sadie.
"I just want this nightmare to be over," lamented Lars.
"Well said," said Mayor Dewey, who began clapping.
He looked to the others, though no one else clapped along with him.
"So, party at my house, anyone?" Sour Cream suggested.
"Sounds good to me," said Buck.
As several people began to follow Sour Cream, including Lea, Riku turned back to Steven and the Gems and said, "Seems that worked out."
"Can we go home now?" asked Lapis.
"I guess?" Steven replied. "But this stuff sounds kind of important."
"Eh, whatever. I can learn about it tomorrow."
As Lapis began to head off, she stopped, and spun back around.
"Actually, forget about that. I'm coming with."
"I would also like to accompany you so that I may examine the workings of these sub-space compacting instruments," said Peridot.
"So, I guess we're all heading back?" asked Connie.
"Looks like it. To the Beach House everyone!"
Minutes later, they all arrived at the front of Steven's residence, though they stopped a few times to clear out the deserters in the area. Connie still wasn't sure whether it was alright to attack them, though they were surprisingly aggressive after being attacked.
After Steven knocked, Amethyst got up and answered the door. "You guys finally came back."
"Yeah," said Connie, "it took a while."
Further into the house, Steven's dad was lying on the couch behind the table.
As everyone began entering the house, Greg quickly got up and said, "Hey, Steven! Wait, who's that?"
"This is Riku," Steven said, gesturing to the larger boy.
"Wow, you look like you've worked out quite a bit."
When he got close, Greg took a moment to admire Riku's muscles, occasionally squeezing them with his hands.
"Is this normal?" asked Riku.
"I dunno," said Steven. "I don't think I've ever seen my dad do that before."
"Wha… Oh! Sorry about that!" said Steven's dad. "It's just I've never seen anyone so buff before."
"Just don't do that too often." Riku turned up towards Steven's room. "I take it that's Garnet?"
"Yep, that's her alright," said Amethyst. "I'm Amethyst by the way."
"I've heard."
Riku's eyes glanced back at Amethyst, though they then looked over to the kitchen area.
"So what was this thing you were going to tell us?" asked Pearl.
"Right."
Moving past Amethyst and Peridot, Riku went over to the kitchen and positioned himself behind the mini-bar.
"Everyone come over here for a second."
Everyone else began swarming around the counter, with Steven, Connie, and Peridot occupying the three stools.
While this was going on, Riku began to fish something out of his pockets, which appeared to be some sort of gold-ringed coaster from Connie's perspective.
"Have a look at this."
-CLUNK!-
Everyone leaned in to see the strange disk now resting on the countertop.
"Huh?" uttered Steven's dad.
"What is that?" asked Amethyst.
"Do any of you recognize this symbol?" asked Riku.
"Not really," said Lapis.
Peridot reached over and grabbed the strange metal object. "Hmm… this is a most peculiar symbolic representation if I've ever seen one. It does seem to adhere to the basic principles of symmetry... Hold on..."
As the green gem continued examining the emblem, Connie tried leaning over the counter to get a better look at it, though it was still difficult to see.
"Could I see that?" asked Steven.
"Fine."
Peridot reluctantly passed the disk over to Steven, who then pushed it toward the center of the counter.
The design, outlined in gold, featured a wide, head-like shape in its center, with two curving, tube-like ears jutting out from opposite sides. A large "S" cut through the middle, bisecting the head in two. A green, rubbery material sat in each of the gaps, separated by the gold extending out of the emblem's base.
"Something about this symbol seems oddly familiar," Pearl remarked.
"It almost looks like those symbols that were on the Heartless," said Steven.
"Wait a minute…"
Connie took the emblem from Steven.
"Doesn't this look like Princess Fiona?"
"Princess… Fiona?" Riku said, puzzled.
"Oh yeah!" exclaimed Steven.
"Now that you think of it," said Pearl, "this design does look a lot like her."
"Well, minus the hair and tiara," Connie added. "It's even got the same shade of green."
"Yeah," said Amethyst, "but what does the 'S' stand for?"
"I have no idea," Connie replied.
Steven turned towards Riku, "Can you tell us?"
"I will. However, there are a few things you need to hear beforehand."
In a flash of light, Riku once again summoned his keyblade.
"The keyblade. This is what we use to fight against the Heartless. It has the power to lock or unlock any door, even those to people's hearts."
"That sounds… powerful," remarked Pearl.
"Yes, and there are some who have abused its power, but only those with a strong heart can wield them."
"What kind of weapon would have such a strange and arbitrary requirement?" questioned Peridot. "Surely the attributes required to use this device could be redefined into more quantifiable terms."
Riku paused before responding, "I'm not sure how to answer that."
"You don't know?"
"Peridot," said Lapis, "let's just continue listening to what the boy has to say."
"Alright, alright," Peridot grumbled.
"As I was about to say, most people don't have the heart to wield these things, so usually you won't find them that often. That all changed just recently."
"What do you mean?" asked Connie.
"One day, our friend DiZ, I mean Ansem, came back from the Realm of Darkness. An army of keyblade warriors was assembling by the thousands. The Realm of Darkness doesn't take kindly to strangers either, but these wielders somehow found a way to resist the darkness. At first, there were just a few of them, but more and more of them kept coming as time went on.
"A keyblade master, Aqua, was down there with him, and yet three of these warriors were enough to defeat her. I don't know how Ansem managed to escape from that place, but he did, and that's what matters.
"That's about when Yen Sid called us to his tower, and explained everything there. At first, he thought this had something to do with Master Xehanort, but then he claimed that these keyblade warriors were from another realm entirely. I can't remember his exact reasoning but it had something to do with 'not having the necessary components.'
"Strange things started happening all around us. Worlds started disappearing even though they had already been locked. Books that had never been written started appearing out of nowhere. Even the Heartless were starting to thin out.
"We tried preparing for when the keyblade army would storm into the Realm of Light. Everyone had their assigned tasks, though I was to remain with Yen Sid until we relocated to Castle Oblivion. Sora, Donald, and Goofy went out to ensure the Princesses of Light remained safe, but they never came back. They're probably long gone by this point."
"Oh…" said Steven.
"So what does this…" Connie began to speak.
"I guess I've been talking too much, so let me get to the point," Riku continued. "I had to fight against one of those warriors when they tried to attack one of our strongholds. It was a tough fight."
Riku then tapped the emblem on the counter. "This was found on the warrior's suit of armor. One of our scientists, Even, tried to extract the memories from this warrior so we could learn more about who was behind this, but… that's when things started to go bad."
"How bad?" Steven asked.
Riku then pointed to Garnet's lifeless body. "Take a look at your friend over there."
Steven, Pearl, Lapis, Greg, and Connie looked over at Garnet.
"You mean…" Connie began.
"Something like that happened to Even, but when he got up, he… wasn't quite the same."
"Well, what was he like before all that?" asked Amethyst, now sprawled all over the floor.
"Different, that's for sure. He usually knew what he was talking about, but after that… he started becoming obsessed."
"Obsessed about what?" asked Greg.
Riku held up the emblem, and then looked at it. "A name. First, it was just that one word, but then every word of his became contorted to reflect this new obsession. It was almost as if, by saying his name, Even was trying to summon him. Whenever we tried to question him about it, he would lash out at us, until we finally had to do him in. The things he did to satisfy his… devotion… are not the kind of things anyone would want to see in their own lifetime."
Riku then flipped the emblem so that the design was visible to everyone.
"I know what the 'S' on this emblem stands for, because I heard Even call out that name seven million times too many, the same name the warrior called out when I fought against him. Listen carefully, for the name I am about to say should not be taken lightly.
"For you see, the 'S' outlined on here stands for Shrek, the one they call their 'Ogrelord.'
"I may not know who he is, but whoever he is, he's the one behind all this."
A/N: Remember how I said this was a crack fic at the beginning?
This is why.
Anyway, I hope you're still all here after that huge trainwreck. That infodump took way too long to write, as I wasn't sure how to best relay all that information. This chapter might have been kinda rushed, and I'm sorry about the massive infodump, but I kinda felt I had to get it out of the way. Not sure I explained stuff well enough either.
Also not sure if I handled all the characters all that well, especially since there's so many of them in the same place at once.
Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed that chapter. Be sure to comment/pm me if you have any questions or stuff. Also Shrek is property of Dreamworks and stuff though most people should know that already. Probably will make a final disclaimer or something at the end of this fic (if I get to it), though I'll probably mention stuff here and there.