Oh mah gosh guys, there a storm over my country! I hope the light doesn't go :( and I start college on Monday... i'm so nervous!

Anyhow, Jean... the Boner King! Looool! You guys are the best! I love you all!~ x'D

TWENTY-SEVEN

What the hell just happened to me? I watched Marco and then I… masturbated, saying his name. To make it worse, Connie saw me. Lately, I couldn't control my body, my body controlled me. I mean, I do things that I don't want to, but… this is different; I felt like I wanted to do it and had to. It… it felt good and I couldn't stop thinking about Marco… which made the moment better, I admit. I knew that the issues me and Marco had, all the things I've done to him made everything between us much more intense… if that makes any sense. All the feelings I get whenever I saw him or thought of him were deeper and more effective. Am I making any fucking sense?

My heart was beating fast, I felt my dick throbbing and my stomach swirled as I walked to campus for practice. I looked at Connie awkwardly; God, was I thankful it was him who saw me instead of someone else. At first, he looked completely disturbed and wanted to run off; now, well… he's obviously scrambled and not so cool about it, but at least I knew he'd keep his mouth shut. I was honestly sure he'd at least tell Sasha… they were that close.

-"There you are, Jean,"- Reiner came to me and rested his hand on my shoulder, -"I thought you'd never come."

I thought so too, because after what happened, I felt tired and wanted to go to sleep, -"Yeah, sorry about last time."- I apologized.

-"Don't worry,"- He squeezed my shoulder and lent a little, -"What matter is that you're here now and we have business to discuss."

He dragged me further into campus where my group sat on the grass. When I sat, we stared discussing about the team and organized it: soccer teams usually have 11 members as minimum, but there's supposed to be more if someone's injured and damn, we were exact. With this, we started wrong. With 4 defenses, 4 midfielders, 2 strikers and 1 goalkeeper, we were enough, but if someone gets injured or kicked out… we're unbalanced. I was one of the strikers along with Mikasa. Reiner, Eren, Samuel and Thomas were defense. The midfielders, the ones that kick the ball to the strikers so they could goal were Annie, Connie, Sasha and Ymir. The goalkeeper was Berthold, there wasn't anyone better. Obviously, everyone chose me as the captain and asked Shadis to be the coach. Frank's team didn't choose him because he was too strict and noisy, but honestly, we needed someone like him and thankfully, he was glad to help.

We had a long way to go, but we were set and quickly began practicing. Shadis, as always, enjoyed this, -"Listen up, you chicken nuggets! If you choose me as your coach, you better fuck your balls off and train! I want you to make me have faith in you, I want you to make me proud and cry tears of joy in tournaments!"

Practicing with my group was pure fun. We trotted and did different types of exercises. We decided to have practices Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays. Shadis will train us one by one each day and today, he trained Berthold, the goalkeeper.

Berthold was tall, almost as tall as the goal and strong, but slow, -"Alright, Fubar, let's test that eyesight of yours."- He gestured Thomas and Connie to kick balls at him. Berthold prepared, eyes locked on the ball. He managed to block four and failed one. Then, Shadis ordered us to keep practicing with him.

I felt so special practicing with them: they never left me behind; never blamed me for failing a goal and the team work was perfect, unlike in Frank's practices in which I was treated as if I wasn't there. I looked forward for making this team and I have high hopes, we just gotta keep practicing and maybe we'll be able to compete against twelve-one's team. I trusted my team and I'll lead them to the stars. We were a family.

Practicing with my group made me forgot about everything… almost.

When practice was over, I began walking alone fully knowing that mom wasn't going to pick me up. What I forgot in practice flew back at me and I honestly wanted these emotions out. I was still mad at mom; I was abhorred of hearing the shouts she throws at me for no reason. Sadness filled me then, I didn't felt loved by her, I feel like she sees me as nothing more than just an obstruction… my own goddamned mother…

I swallowed tears. I'm not a crybaby and I sure as hell won't cry because of her.

I hear a car stop beside me and when I looked, I saw dad deigning the window, -"Son,"- I sighed and mounted the car. I though the drive to home was going to be muted, until dad spoke, -"You need to apologize to your mother."

I growled lowly to myself; I knew he'd come up with that, -"Why should I?"- I inquired, but I knew perfectly well.

-"Son… you shouldn't talk to your mother like that,"- He patted my shoulder, eyes on road, -"I know she's not easy to handle, but she's your mother and she loves you… no matter what."

Dad was right and there was a burning regret inside eating me alive. I was being a jerk back there, I was really disrespectful towards her, who gave me everything since the beginning; heck, I wouldn't be living if it wasn't for her.

I sighed and nodded to him. He nodded back and smiled weakly.

At home, I slowly went to mom, -"Mom?"

She had her eyes planted on the TV, -"What?"- She said harshly as she glared at me.

-"I'm sorry… for this morning,"- I sighed and scratched the back of my neck, -"I just had a bad dream and couldn't sleep well… so I woke up grumpy, that's all."- It wasn't a complete lie, because I definitely couldn't sleep well; I still wanted her to shut up on mornings though.

She hmph-ed and nodded slowly, -"Fine,"- She looked calm and a small smile formed on her lips; I stared at her, for the first time in forever, I saw her smile and sweet, but then, all of a sudden, a scowl formed as she gritted her teeth at me, -"What are you sayin', ya' devil? I ain't forgiving ya' for nothing'! It's all your fault! Your fault!"

She started shouting at me and I yell too… naturally, -"What the fuck is wrong with you? Have you gone mad?"

She kept shouting at me for no reason and our quarrel begun, because I couldn't stay shut… I tried though; but what the fuck happened to her? It was all going well. It went worse because her shouting became screams. I got startled, stepping back and that's when dad interfered. He squeezed her, but she kept hitting him, -"Calm down, calm down!"- He shouted, but she didn't listen and I knew how she'd stop this madness. I left running. She kept screaming, but after a while… she stopped.

In my room, I was gripping my naked chest, leaving red marks. What… just happened? Mom just turned from sweet and smiling to mad and crazy. She scared me, like never before. I could handle her shouts and answer back… but this… this was something else. It wasn't an ordinary quarrel about laundry or dishes or messed rooms… no, this was something waaay else and I had no idea what. Those screams sounded like… pain.

A faint knock on the door broke my thoughts. I knew it was father, but what excuse could he put up now? It's apparent that mom hates me, because when I left… she stopped screaming, -"Son…"- His voice was dull, but I could hear it. Even so I ignored him and went to take a long and thoughtful shower.

When I went to sleep, mom's screams hunted me.

Several weeks passed after that. Those weeks were the longest on my life. The quarrel between me and mom got worse. We couldn't look at each other without arguing now. Thankfully, the soccer practices with my group distracted me from that. We got better and better. It was impressive how well we ameliorated. It's all thanks to Shadis; he was training us one by one. He once told us that he used to be a coach and that being it once again made him feel alive. I googled him and it was true. During those weeks, my appointments with Kat were the same, mostly because I stayed away from Marco, which made my emotions stable. It was for the good of both of us, I figured. Kat kept asking me if I was really gay and I told her "maybe, who knows?" I answered her questions with questions, which annoyed her.

Like I said, I stayed away from Marco during those weeks, but I still kept an eye on him and he knew, the son of a bitch knew. I was like spying him, his own personal guardian in the shadows. We talked sometimes, but we didn't hang out. Yeah, I couldn't stop thinking about him 24/7 and I admit that the freckled bastard was a part of my life now, but staying away from him has given me time to think about, you know… being gay or not; heck, there was no fucking denying that I was gay, because it's obvious I was, the problem is accepting it and to your disappointment… I haven't. I wasn't ready to take that turn on my life; I realized that I'm actually scared, of what? People's judgment? Racists? The bullying? I wasn't sure, but maybe everything. My stomach churned just thinking about it.

The thrills I had when Marco was around were still there and stronger than ever, but I hold the desire to hold him in my arms because that will just hurt him more. I always checked him out… his clothing of course, he always looks awesome. About the boners… well, I had some once in a while, but I abided it and tried to avoid Marco from feeling it… like last time.

For Marco, I was taking damn long, but he didn't push me, until September came along and the Art project's day was getting closer. Marco and I made arrangement, so now I was in Marco's house, in his bedroom… with him.

It was Saturday and we figured it'd be best for starting on the model. He was perfecting the sketch we made while I looked around: his bedroom was bigger than mine, probably because of his twin bed. I couldn't understand why the hell he has a twin bed for himself, but I didn't give it much though. His walls were white with many scribbles and sketches, with marks of sharpies; there were even poems written on it by him and famous poets. Out of the many things in his wall, what brought my attention and made my mouth gape in awe… were the Justice League heroes above his bed. It was a portrait surrounded by a golden frame; they were all together, hands on each's others shoulder, Superman was the only one flying with arms crossed. Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, Martin Man Hunter… everyone was there, wow.

I was staring at it for too long because Marco noticed. He snickered, -"I knew you'd like that one,"- He hung a word in his mouth and gulped before saying it, -"I… made it."- He blushed and caressed his cheeks with his finger.

I gasped and looked at the portrait and then at Marco, -"For real…? No way…"- I breathed out and began to inspect the portrait, but for that I needed to climb on his bed… which was awkward. I looked at him, slightly gazing at his bed and when he nodded, I climbed my knee first and lent closer to the portrait: of course, it was drawn on a canvas and the good one. Now I could see the details that reveal that it's actually a drawing instead of a picture. Though, from farther away, you could say that it looks like one of those professional paintings you buy in Kmart or Walmart. Cool, at the bottom right I could see Marco's signature. God, this was… how could I describe this? This was a masterpiece! Like those on museums!

–"Um… what do you think?"- He asked me.

I was too impressed by his drawing that I kind of looked like a child, so I tried keeping my cool, -"It's amazing! How long did it take you to do this?"- My coolness may have slipped a bit…

-"A month,"- He smiled, still blushing. God, his smiles warmed me so much, -"It was a special project for the drawing classes."

The classes I abandoned, right. I dismounted his bed, but my eyes never left the portrait, -"Wow, Marco… you're…"- I said out loud. I could say he was so many things…

He snickered, -"Of course I didn't do it alone, I had help from mom and Marianne,"- He said happily, completely proud of his work. I could dare and say that he was a better artist than Marianne, -"Well, back to work."- He said and turned around to continue on the sketch.

Other than the wall and the drawing, Marco had his own desk with a wheel chair where he was working on now and his own lamp filled with geek stickers; he had books, manga, pencil-cases and his computer, his HP desktop; his Asus laptop was on his bed with a Superman sticker on the top. On the other side of the room, he had a glass shelf filled with more books and videogames; on top of it was a PlayStation 3. His Sony plasma TV was pinned on the wall above the shelf. And I though he wasn't a guy with money, I thought to myself, but I never liked to indulge in that matter to much. Like me, he had his own bathroom and wardrobe. Unlike my room though, he had an air conditioner, which was on now and cold.

My eyes traveled his bedroom until reaching him. While he worked on his desk, I sat on the red carpet floor, so soft and warm. My eyes locked on him: he had a simple coat with hood and no zipper that had white vertical stripes with black jeans and usual Converse. His hair was kind of messy; it was rare he had no beanie. Even so, for me, he always looked awesome. I blushed and looked away. I had a simple white Keep Calm and Play Soccer T-shirt, knee length light brown pants and my black and white Pumas. My hair was like usual.

Some awkward minutes passed. So yeah, I was in Marco's bedroom and no, I haven't met his mother yet, she was out buying some stuff. Dad brought me here; Marco met him and we did the arrangement smoothly. I asked him because I still wasn't over mom. Even if I was, I'd still ask dad. She never liked leaving me in someone else's house, but dad wasn't so maniac about it. He was the good type dad always doing what his son asks. It surprised me that Marco and I lived in the same street, practically neighbors. It surprised him too, it could explain our, ejem, encounter on the supermarket.

I began to shiver and Marco noticed, looking over his shoulder from the desk, -"Do you want me to turn off the air conditioner?"

I quickly shocked my head, -"Uh… no! It's okay!"- I wasn't the type of guy who gets real comfy on other people's houses.

He snickered and touched my arm, -"You're freezing,"- He said and took the air's controller beside his desk and clicked the off button. Then, he opened up the window in front of his desk, the white curtains dancing as the wind flew past them. The sun light shone on him, -"That should do it. You can sit on my bed if you want."- Pft, his touch on my skin warmed me more tha- shhh!

After a while more, I couldn't take it anymore so I stood beside his desk and helped him with the sketch, -"You can put the tower here and the clock tower over there…,"- We were still on the idea of making a half Gotham and half Metropolis model. In the end, we made it official and we had the sketch done. Marco's 3D drawing is amazing. It was going to be the best model in the class, I just knew it, -"I'm leader, then."

He nodded cheerily, -"Of course you were going to be,"- He snickered, -"You're good at it."

I sat down on the floor again, feeling my legs tired from being up the last ten minutes, which was weird because my legs were athletically strong, -"I don't think ordering people around is good."

-"I guess so,"- He shrugged and turned the wheel chair around, -"But it's an honor having leadership, everyone follows you and…"- He stopped and looked at me with a smile. I tried to contain my face from heating up, -"You're a good leader, Jean. I know about the soccer team, you'll do great."

Jesus… that soothed me entirely, it made a sigh of relief escape my lips. All the worries I had about the team faded as I smiled back at him. We kept smiling at each other for several seconds and I couldn't take my eyes off of his eyes, until we heard a knock on the door, -"Can I?"- It was Marco's mother. My heart skipped a beat.

Marco parted his eyes off of me and I quickly stood up, ready to meet Marco's mother.

Another cliffhanger... sorry XD but this time it wasn't my intention! The chap was over 3,000 words!