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Hellooooo xD (omg i cnt believe i am doing this right now), how long has it been now? A year? Holy shit.

You probably are mad with me lol xD

I honestly don't have an excuse, expect college, 'cause that beated me for real. I'm studying videogame design and development and programming is hard af. Other than that, no, I don't have any real and understandable excuses xD BUT i did got a ps4 on Christmas and if i was a jerk, i'd tell you to blame it, but it was my fault to ask for it in the beggining i guess. Even so, i regret nothing. That piece of shit is glorious and yeah I've spent the whole summer and christmas break playing lol. I also traveled from time to time and i got a new pc. I also had problems with my account but I got it fixed up (yeah, i forgot password, email and all that lol)

SO, asking for your forgiveness is too much right now xDDD and i dont even know if u'll even read this, u probably unfollowed me and all.

Anyway, here's the chapter and I hope (whomever is reading lol) that you enjoy it xD

THIRTY-ONE

I looked at Marco with eyes widen. Why did she had to arrive at this moment? Couldn't it be another time? Why now of all times!?

I kept kissing Marco until I head footsteps just behind the door, -"Shit…"- I cursed among heavy breaths and gave Marco one last long kiss before standing up and helping him.

-"Boys? Is everything all right?"- Marco's mom asked on the other side.

-"Y-yeah."- My voice was shaky. Helping Marco up just made things worse. I touched him and couldn't restrain giving him at least another kiss.

-"Okay, I'm going to prepare dinner now!"- She said cheerily and opened the door, -"Oh, and I got you th-"- She stopped mid-sentence and stared at us, -"Are two okay?"

My heart was racing. She didn't caught us kissing or anything, but right now, Marco and I were really close and honestly, this wasn't enough for me. I wanted to feel him more now that I spoke out my true feelings, the ones that lied so deep within me, the ones I've locked away…

I swiftly stepped back because Marco looked stunned about all this, -"Uh y-yeah, yeah…,"- I gave her a stupid smile, -"Just working on- yeah… working."

She looked at me suspiciously, but then she smile down to the model, -"Oh, I see it's going neatly,"- She began to turn around, -"Well, dinner's going to be ready soon. I'll call you."

-"Th-thanks…,"- I wanted to tell her to close the door when she leaves, but it got stuck on my mouth and she walked away, leaving the door open, -"That was close,"- I turned to Marco, who awkwardly caressed his cheeks with his finger. I closed the door and couldn't resist the urge to push him down on the bed, -"I'm sorry, Marco… I can't resist."- I told him with honesty.

He stared at me, -"Jean, after this… it's different. You are aware of that, right?"

I gulped and nodded, -"Yeah."- I pretty damn was. Nothing's going to be the same after today and I decided I'd confront the change in me; that change in my life that Reiner blabbered about. It was this, the bigger change he warned me about and there was no escaping it. I couldn't keep ignoring it.

-"Jean… are you sure?"- He asked, his face a little dim.

What? Did I… have a slight fear or regret in my face? I admit I'm afraid, because this was a huge alteration in me and not to forget what might come next. Regret? I don't regret anything, because Marco is what mattered most right now- he always was actually. I just… never admit it, until now. Besides that, he was oddly and deliciously good at this, meaning he probably has done it before… which vexed me.

-"Y-yeah."- I said firmly. I was damn sure because I wanted him, I wanted him so much and now… I finally had him.

Lowering my head, I kissed him again. Somehow, I knew he was unsure about this, about me accepting all this. I wanted to prove him otherwise so I deepen the kiss more to the ultimate level, getting more intimate. I was pinning Marco down and he was having trouble keeping up with me. I finally had the lead and it felt so good, -"Jean…,"- He spoke among ragged breaths, -"We need to… finish the project."

-"Just… five more minutes."- I insisted and kept kissing him, biting those soft lips here and then.

-"Jean…"- He moaned again, sometimes glancing at the door, but hardly doing any effort in really stopping me. He wanted this as much as I did. He was right, we should finish that model since it's due next week, but right now, I didn't care. My world was tied with his and I couldn't let it loose.

Marco moaned, trying to keep up with me. I was going into an incalculable speed, tying my tongue with his. He turned his head aside, away from my mouth to breathe profoundly. I didn't stop, however; I began to lick and bite his earlobe and he moaned again, louder. I smirked. Did I found his soft spot? I kept toying with it and when I looked at him, he was utterly red and sweating, his body emanating a kind of hotness that beckoned me closer, -"Are you… okay?"- I managed to ask through hard breaths.

He nodded, biting his lip. I then slumped into him, the little space we had now thin as I roughly kissed him. He kissed me back, hands traveling up my head, his fingers tying with my hair and he pulled me even closer. The way he responded sent a soaring pleasure through me. My whole body burned and ached for him.

I slid my hand beneath his shirt and squeezed here and there, -"… ngh."- He shuddered when I reached his lower part.

-"Marco… I can't hold back…"- I breathed out beside in his ear.

I could see he wasn't entirely comfortable, -"Jean… stop."

I ignored him and smashed my lips into his. He responded but stopped and flinched once again when I attempted to reach into his pants. God, I couldn't resist anymore. I wanted to touch and feel him more, my body ached for more…

I began to unzip them, -"S-stop… ngh."- He moaned.

I didn't stopped and when I took hold for it, he trembled at my touch and tried to push me away, -"Marco…"- I moaned, squeezing it slowly.

He breathed so deeply and harshly that I thought he was shocking to death, -"Jean, please… stop."- He pleaded. I could feel his crotch hardening.

I snapped out of that trance at the sound of his plea, but the pleasure was still there and the aching never stopped. Was I…, -"Am I… hurting you?"- I asked, my voice shaky. I looked down on him, lifting myself a bit: he was red, so red that I couldn't spot his freckles without closing the space. He was sweating and breathless. His body trembled below mines.

He shook his head, panting loudly, -"N-no…"

I got it. I was going too fast. Dammit, Jean! You totally blew it! I wanted to smack myself. I need to control myself, but the way his chest when up and down… shit, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck… the feel of his crotch in my hand and the pleasure… come on snap out of it!

I looked away and pulled my hand out of his pant. I could hear his ragged breaths right beside my ear. I slowly began to stand up reluctantly, feeling a bit ashamed of touching him the way I did. Look at what you've done, Jean! He thinks you're a rapist!

But then, he called me, -"Jean… wait."- He struggled to stand up while zipping up his pant.

Ugh, I'm so screwed! I wanted to make him feel good with me but I just made him uncomfortable. I wanted to touch him like that for so long; I've kept those desires locked in me for a long time and now that I'm here alone with him, in his own bedroom, I couldn't resist, couldn't control myself. I went too far…

Just then, a car honk rang from outside. I recognized it as dad's, but why so soon? We haven't even finished the goddamn project! Not like I was planning to, apparently.

-"Jean, your father's here!"- Marco's mother called out.

Before heading downstairs, I gave Marco one last glance. Even though I was ashamed and scared of my actions, I wanted to stay with him for a bit more.

Outside, I went to dad's car, cleaning away a sweat from my forehead with my arm, -"Wh-what happened?"- I stuttered, my body still quivering with that sensation and pleasure. The images Marco below me wouldn't go away.

My dad looked tired, very tired and sorrowful, -"I need you to come with me."- He spoke fast while opening the door for me.

-"B-but I haven't finished…"- I said, swiftly glancing at Marco's room. Excuses, excuses. I wanted to leave, but at the same time to stay. God, why couldn't anything make sense with me? My emotions are screwed up!

-"Jean,"- He gave me a serious face, one that hid fear, -"Please. It's your mother."

-"Mom?"- I asked, dumbfounded, -"What ha-"

Before I could interrogate him more, Marco's mother spoke, -"Is everything alright? Dinner's not ready yet."

I glanced at my father, his look pleading me to go with him. I walked towards Marco's mom, -"I-I need to go. Thanks again for, uh…"

-"It's alright,"- She patted my head. I couldn't understand her well because of the stupid dog's barks, -"Did something happened?"- She asked, noting my uneasiness.

I shrugged, -"I dunno, he didn't tell me."

She smiled sweetly and nodded. Then, she took a pen and a piece paper towel from her pocket and wrote a phone number, -"Here's the house's number. Call us if you need anything, okay?"- She emphasized on 'anything'.

I stared at the number for a while, just realizing that I finally had a way to communicate with Marco. I somewhat forgot to ask for his cellphone number since, heck, since we started hanging out. I nodded at her, again glancing at Marco's room, -"Yeah…"- My voice trailed off, feeling Marco's gaze on me.

I heard dad coughing, on purpose.

I quickly trotted to the car and got inside.

Along the way, I thought of Marco and what… happened between us. I regretted not telling him goodbye, although I didn't seemed able to do so. My thoughts, however, mixed with those of mom, -"What happened?"- I asked dad, but whenever I asked about the subject, he ignored me, eyes carved on the road. Even so, I couldn't drop it, -"Answer me, dad."

He made a face and shocked his head.

-"Come on! Just tell me!"- I was losing it, fear consuming. His refusal to tell me bothered me, -"Did something happened to her?"- I asked like for the tenth time.

He sighed, -"Jean, she's…,"- He paused, pondering if it was a good idea to tell me. Well come on, spit it! He didn't come all this way to pick me up and not tell me, -"… not okay."

I froze, -"What? Why not? What happened?"- He still didn't answered my question and I was freaking out, -"For the love of God, just tell me!"

He shut his eyes for a second, gritting his teeth. Was he holding tears? –"There's a doctor with her. He's taking care of her."

-"You still haven't answer my goddamn question."- I spat, crossing my arms.

He glared at me for speaking foully, -"She's in a very delicate condition, alright? Like I said, a doctor is taking care of it."- And with that, the conversation ended as he looked back at the road.

I tsk-ed, pissed off at dad. Since I wasn't getting any more info from him, I dropped it, but that didn't stopped the questions to circle my head like gnats.

When we reached home, a car was parked near. It was white and small, one of those cubes. I then guessed that was the doctor's.

I quickly ran inside, leaving dad behind. He called me, but I ignored him. Inside, I quickly tripped with someone, -"Oh, you must be Jean Kirschtein."

I looked up to meet a man with receded grey hair, grey full beard and moustache. He has the typical appearance of an old man with wrinkles under his sunken eyes and glasses. He was wearing the typical gown medics used, -"Yeah,"- I scoffed, still pissed, "That's me."

-"I am Darius Zackly,"- He narrowed me, lowering his glasses a bit, -"Your mother's personal doctor, but it has been rather long since she last contacted me. So I assumed the situation must be grave,"- He glanced at the door to her room which was upstairs just in front of mines, -"And it seems I was correct."

I didn't liked the sound of that. My heart pounded faster, -"What do you mean?"

-"If you would follow me."- He gestured me upstairs in a rather fancy way, letting me go first.

Then, dad entered, -"Doctor Zackly,"- He spoke tiredly, gazing at me, -"Is it really a good idea?"- He spoke lowly, as if preventing me from hearing. Good job, dad.

The doctor seemed amused as he cracked what I guessed was a grin, -"You brought him here to inform him, am I correct?"

-"Yes, sir, but-"

Dad seemed to regret bringing me here, -"I believe he has the right to now, after all, he is her son."

Exactly, -"Come on, old man."- I urged him as I trotted upstairs.

He grunted and made face when I called him old man, but didn't cared.

Inside mother's room, she laid still on her bed, so still that I almost mistook her for a mannequin. I slightly touched her arm; she was cold and pale, -"Mom?"- I leaned closer to her and I could hear her breathing vaguely. I turned to the doctor with a questioning face, fear plastered on me.

-"Your mother had a convulsion just after you left,"- The doctor spoke calmly and I realized he has dealt with situations like these frequently, -"Afterwards, she fell paralyzed. Completely unresponsive. I was called shortly after by your father."

I gulped. My stomach swirled, -"Wh-what does she have?"

He slowly closed his eyes and his next words pierced me, -"Your mother has a brain tumor."

So, things for Jean can get any better, right? Kind of short, but i kind of felt ending it there.

I bet your asking "why r u still doing these things to him even after a YEAR of not writing it?" Welp, I forgot what the hell was happening here so i read all my previous chapters and remembered and though that i should continue with the idea i once had, right?

So yeah, whomever-is-reading... thank you xDD