21. Gem Mortality

There was no past, no present, no future anymore. Everything Steven thought he knew had become an incoherent mess, a disorderly array of memories and feelings. The past used to be a comfort, but now it only made him feel worse.

He missed Connie, Dad, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl… He missed Lion, sleeping in a bed, fry bits, and the Big Donut. He missed Lapis and Peridot, Uncle Andy, Pumpkin and corn and meep morps. None of it – none of them – even felt like memories anymore. They were just specially engineered images designed to mock him, play with his feelings, only to be torn away again. Remembering them, the Earth… He no longer yearned for the life he left behind; Steven had moved past that. He loved them all, more than anything, and that's why he was here – their lives meant more than his own, but at the cost of turning him bitter. The memories that would play through his mind were no longer immersed in desperate heartache anymore, the way he had felt when he said goodbye to Pearl. Now all he felt was a dull twinge, largely overpowered by a potent fear that filled his heart. Steven wanted them to live, but he didn't want to die.

That fear… That was one of the hardest parts of the present, too. Steven used to like to think he was brave, and maybe he once was, but not anymore. He was weak, helpless, a pawn for Homeworld to exact their revenge. They wouldn't kill him, or the Earth, or his family now that he was here, but they had already, in a sense, erased him from the universe. He was afraid of everything, every noise, every interaction, every thought that entered his brain. In many ways, he didn't feel like any part of who he used to be, and he didn't have any reason to try. No one he knew from before would ever see him again, so there was nothing there to miss. Steven tried to tell himself it was better this way.

Then there was the matter of the future, which might be the worst of it all. After his last episode of panic-induced asphyxiation that had caused him to pass out, he had decided not to bother with tracking time anymore. Judging by how heavy his body felt when he woke up, he could have been sleeping for days, and after already not knowing how long he had been gone it all stopped mattering. The Gems weren't coming, and he wasn't going anywhere.

Unlike the present or the past, Steven felt like he could see his future now. He smirked at the thought, wondering if Garnet would get a laugh out of that.

Some of the finer details of wheres, whens and hows might be unclear, but it didn't matter. White Diamond had not left any room for confusion: he was her subject now, to do as she asked, whenever she asked – or suffer the consequences. Maybe it would be endless conversations about how messed up he, his mother, and the Earth were, or Pink Diamond, or just simply more torture and pain and regret. Steven didn't need nor want details, the path was there – they wanted him to suffer, and they wanted him to do it obediently. Their authority was supreme here after all, and his life was belonged to them to do with as they pleased. His mother left a debt, and his submission was her dues.

They had moved him to a room – well, it felt more like a room than a cell, but doors and windows were noticeably absent so it still wasn't quite right. Steven's security monitor was not required here, but it was placed threateningly on a table nearby, an unspoken threat.

Everything was white, shining exquisitely and showing no source of life whatsoever. It was still a mild improvement from his living conditions lately, the most noteworthy being the source of running water. It was a little odd, more like a tiny waterfall that reminded him of the aqueduct system that must have operated at the Human Zoo, but it was much smaller with a clear drain. That made sense – it was only intended for one person. He could drink, bathe, try to clean his teeth again, and he did for no reason but his own comfort; there was no one to impress here and nowhere to go.

Otherwise, there were two tables, one longer and rectangular that he used as a bed – a small difference from sleeping on the floor, but it felt more natural – and the square table that displayed his security monitor like a minacious trophy. It could have been captioned for as strikingly as it sat there, a disturbing museum piece: The Son of Rose Quartz, Captured. And to the Diamonds, that's exactly who he was. They humored him by using his given name, but after his first encounter with White Diamond, it was clear that they only saw him as a kick back for their losses from the war. His mother…

Steven sighed and stood from his bed, stretching his legs and tracing his fingers against the walls of his room. His mother had been a very present topic in his mind since he met White Diamond, and he hasn't seen her since. In fact, he's only seen her Pearl and two bulky Quartz-looking soldiers who stood outside his 'door'. He referred to the blank space that would become a door as such, although as his fingers lined the space where it would open only to feel cold, seamless metal against his fingers.

Since he had woken up, he had been crying less. He saw his shield, Rose Quartz, gem shards and Holly Blue Agate behind his vision every time he closed his eyes, but his eyes were mostly dry. Steven would just curl in on himself, usually holding his scarred arm, an action of pain rather than sorrow. They were going to do things to him, terrible, horrible things, and all he could do was just sit there, shivering at the thoughts that preoccupied in his mind.

I'm… I'm worse than Opalite. At least when we killed gems, we did it quickly. She…Rose Quartz…Mom… She looked so hurt, so scared… the way her crack spread, the way her body convulsed… Steven had found a spot to sit on the ground, burying his head in his knees. His fingers had gone from the walls to lightly outlining his own gemstone through his shirt.

Will she… White Diamond… do that again? His unnaturally colored arm tensed at the memory, sending shivers down his spine. "I wonder how many it would take for you to understand how it felt…" Did she mean that? Will she, will I… have to shatter more? How many more? Will Holly Blue Agate be there again? His head shot up suddenly as a deeply disturbing thought entered his mind. Maybe we can fuse again, so it will be quick. If we fuse, they don't have to suffer.

"Ugh." Steven placed a shameful hand over his face, studying the floor. The prospect of being Opalite again was horrifying, but could it be worse than torturing other gems until they died? With a sign, he decided to try not to think about it right now. Maybe he wouldn't have to shatter anyone else, maybe they had something even more unspeakable planned.

After sitting for a little while longer, the space in the wall that formed a door opened across from him. Steven sprung to his feet, in case he was needed to salute or do some other Homeworld formality, but it was just Pearl. Since he was already standing, he just rubbed his hurt arm with his good one as she entered. He had to come expect this to be food, which they had to bring him physically now that he was out of Dani's medical care. However, Pearl was empty-handed.

"My Diamond requests your presence at once." Her voice wasn't threatening, but it was firm. Steven didn't meet her eyes, still clutching his arm, anxious but resigned. He had expected this eventually.

"U-understood." Steven let her guide him from the room, the guards eyeing him suspiciously. He didn't recognize their gem type, but they were both the same white-silver that was everything in this place.

The pair walked without passing by anyone for a while, which Steven found odd. Given the size of the place, he expected some sort of militarized hustle and bustle or erudite gems discussing important socialite matters or even engineers like Peridot operating the screens that he passed as they went through various rooms. But he was wrong – there was no one, anywhere. Everything was empty, but then again, he thought that might be fitting as Heliodor's words replayed in his mind.

When a form rejects all light, it appears to the eye as white… It exists by the concessions of the many.

After a few more minutes of nothingness, Pearl came to an abrupt halt. They had just come to a large door, and Steven swallowed hard on the lump in his throat.

"My Diamond has asked that you join her at a restricted location. Travel by warp pad there is typically forbidden, but she has granted you an exception. I," the Pearl summoned a green cylindrical tube from her gem. It oddly reminded Steven of a baton that runners used in marathons, except it was green and had flashing buttons everywhere. "Will not be joining you. Activate this by fully turning when you are ready." Steven looked at her hands, and she indicated a dial that had symbols around it that meant nothing to him.

As Pearl held the device out expectantly, Steven felt a pang of apprehension, but his worries were eclipsed by confusion. Why was he going alone? They were really going to give him access to a warp pad by himself? Accepting the green flashing object and looking between Pearl and the door, he thought about the prospect of running.

Don't be stupid – if you leave, the deal's off and everyone would be put in danger. Of course you don't need a chaperon anymore… there's nowhere for you to go.

Steven released a small sigh and nodded at Pearl, who had moved next to a panel and began to type as it glowed to life. Meanwhile, he studied the door, another massive structure that must be fit to accommodate White Diamond herself… which did little to make him feel any less nervous.

Another few moments of beeping and the door glowed to life, a bright green color that matched the device in his hands. Steven watched in awe as the door dissolved into nothingness, not receding or opening in the traditional sense. It was like a mirage was becoming undone, green light fading into the air as the room beyond was revealed.

Peaking around, Steven made sure that they were totally alone. He walked up to Pearl, who looked down at him with narrowed eyes, a distrustful glare.

Nonetheless, Steven cleared his throat lightly. "Um, thank you."

She looked appalled that he would address her directly, and Steven did not want to put her in harm's way by forcing her to speak out of turn. Instead, he looked away and stepped forward through the frame, Pearl staring after him as the wall rematerialized behind him.

Pausing for a moment, Steven shook his head as his eyes adjusted to the room around him, similar to the giant warp pad that had brought him to White Diamond the first time, with one obvious exception. The walls here were that same mysterious, misty green color that matched the door and the odd apparatus he held in his hands.

He moved forward, carefully stepping up as to not crush his toes this time, and made for the center of the warp pad. It was made of the same creamy stone as all warp pads, but it was ornamented with zigzagging lines with no discernible pattern across the surface.

Ignoring the twisting in his stomach, Steven turned the dial Pearl had shown him and gasped as the floor beneath him exploded to life with a beautiful green that filled the design of the pad from the outside-in, flooding with color like a beautiful green river. As soon as the verdant pathways reached him, the device in his hand began to glow and the warp pad came to life, propelling him into a familiar lightness that was magnificent and ominous at the same time, knowing that it would bring him directly to White Diamond. The last time they spoke…

Steven returned to solid ground before his worries could catch up with him. As quickly as everything had become dazzling and weightless, the world just as swiftly flooded his senses with oppressive darkness. There was no sound that he could hear, and the air smelled sulfurous, almost like the ocean, but with a stink that reminded him of gas from the stove. A mist carried the taste to his tongue, which was less than pleasant. It was very dark, too, a fog so thick it obscured his vision.

He scanned the area for a sign of life, wondering why White Diamond would ask him to come here. She had been waiting for him, so he shouldn't have been surprised when he heard her voice.

"Greetings, Steven." Her voice sounded like it came from behind him, loud and commanding as it was, but the fog made him feel disoriented. Dutifully, he made his best directional guess and turned, crossing his arms in an awkward salute.

"Y-yes, My Diamond. Pearl said you wanted to see me." His mouth was dry as his eyes darted around, trying to find her through the haze.

There was silence following his statement, which only served to make him more nervous. What even was this place? He absently wondered if Homeworld had weather, given the fog, a conversation with Peridot about rain coming to mind. His thoughts were interrupted by a loud sound, the sickening creak of metal on metal that was scratchy and smooth at the same time. Flinching, Steven nearly dropped the device in his hands, expecting something to come stabbing at him through the mist. However, a moment later, White Diamond appeared.

He gasped, her monumental figure brought through the vapor by a giant, white machine. Memories came rushing back so quickly Steven nearly fell backwards – Korea, the dream, Pink Diamond, Blue Diamond, his Dad, Garnet…

Steven recoiled as a glorious, shimmering palanquin came closer, sudden tears streaming down his face that hurt him in a familiar way. These mobile thrones… they've done nothing but cause him pain, the thing that started all of this, and now he was confronted with a third, the sight of White Diamond coming closer, shooting an arrow of panic straight through his heart.

White Diamond interrupted his moment of dread as she fully came into view, towering in the striking white cathedra. "Yes. I have something to show you."

With a crash, the royal mechanism thudded to the ground, so massive it actually made the ground beneath Steven shake. The staircase were directed towards him, but even the steps were too large for him to scale. He edged forward, prepared to jump and float onto the surface of the white monstrosity, but he was having a difficult time filling his head with positive thoughts. Things weren't made easier by the fact he was terrified, contemplating what sort of horrible thing she was going to "show" him. If this was anything like their "talk," he was not excited by whatever she had in store.

In response to his hesitation, and White Diamond not being an idol of patience, she lowered a massive hand and was glaring at him intensely; it reminded Steven of Yellow Diamond, how she had offered a hand to the Pearls back at the Zoo when she sang to Blue Diamond. The prospect of literally putting his life in her hands made Steven uneasy, but what choice did he have? He stepped gently into her waiting palm and was almost thrown backwards by the sudden jerking upwards. Once he had passed the threshold, he was inelegantly spilled onto the floor of the palanquin and landed a bit painfully on one side, dropping the green stick that he had used to get here.

Sitting up, the machine dexterously sprang back to life. It was rocking as each leg moved, so Steven opted to remain sitting instead of trying to maintain his balance. Peering upwards, he was relieved to see White Diamond was not looking at him, but ahead, so he angled himself in the same fashion and watched as she took him into the unknown.

It didn't take long for things to begin to change, the fog fading as they moved uphill on a stony path. He didn't know exactly where they were going, but it felt huge, even relative to the size of the Diamond sitting next to him. Her face may as well have been the stone beneath them, carved meticulously into an expression of emptiness, chin resting in a cupped hand. Finally, Steven's straining eyes were relieved, but was replaced by apprehension as the fog fully lifted.

Though they were moving quickly, Steven's recognized a million eerie holes jutting from gray rock face, spreading into a million paths that stretched beyond his vision. This was a Kindergarten, but nothing like the two he had seen on Earth. Not only was this one colossal by comparison, but it was surprisingly beautiful (if you could get back to bodies carved out of the rock face). The path beneath them was gray as they moved through the place, but the ceiling and every cliff face was shaded with rocks of every color: pink, blue, white, green, yellow, purple… There were towers of rock that jutted past them, some gray, others white, while more were red, blue, orange, expanding endlessly until receding again into the fog. Every gem conceivable could have been made here, sizes and shapes as variant as the stars in the sky.

White Diamond made no move to stop the palanquin, so Steven tried his best to study the world that passed in front of him. So many "exit holes" as Peridot had called them, thinking sadly about Amethyst and Jasper back home.

Amethyst and Jasper…

His fingers flexed at the memory, a pit forming in his stomach while he thought about the Amethyst and Jasper he had shattered here in space. Then, there was Rose Quartz, her brilliant pink shards flashing in his mind, the pain in her face when her body was pulled apart... It felt like every gem that's been a part of his life would have to die by his hands. Anxiety quickly turned to panic, so Steven grabbed his knees and hugged them close as he sat beside the white throne in silence.

The icy voice of White Diamond eventually interrupted his looming fears, wincing as he returned to reality. "Steven, I have a question."

Steven really, really didn't like when White Diamond asked him questions, his body aching at the memory of the punishment from before, but he forced himself to respond as he imagined she wanted.

"Yes, My Diamond?" Looking up at her, White Diamond was still staring forward. It felt disobedient not to look at her while speaking, so Steven kept his eyes on her.

"Do you know what it means to harvest a gem?" She was frowning now, looking deep in thought.

Involuntarily, Steven couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed. Given everything that happened with Opailte, surely they must know his answers to every question. Yet, she asked anyways, making Steven relive the pain each time. Perhaps she was mocking him, intending to harvest him? Whatever it was that meant…

"N-Not really. A gem from hom – , a gem I met on Earth thought I was going to harvest her, but I don't know what that means."

"I see." White Diamond did not press further, for which Steven was grateful, but which also put him on edge. Her stretches of silence had been disastrous last time.

For several more minutes, the pair sat there as the world flood with colors. There must have been thousands and thousands of exit holes here, giving Steven a new appreciation for the presence of gems in the universe. For a long time, it felt like just him and the Crystal Gems; then, he realized how many more there could be when he visited the Kindergartens on Earth. This place absolutely dwarfed those Kindergartens, and Steven couldn't help but reminisce on Peridot while they continued onwards.

She was a "certified" Kindergartener, she had once said, but that didn't really mean anything to him besides she must be an expert, and she proved that when he, Amethyst and the green gem went to the Beta Kindergarten, and she was the one who had mentioned gem harvesting to him. The connection must be obvious given where he was and what White Diamond had just asked of him, but it still didn't really make sense.

The palanquin suddenly came to a stop, causing Steven to fly forward, nearly being dumped down the steps. He was thankfully able to catch himself, but the abrupt flux was still disorienting. He could hear White Diamond's echoing steps as she stood from her throne and moved downwards, walking past him to the outside. Steven rubbed his head with one hand as he tried to regain his sense of direction, finally turning to see what she could possibly want to show him here, of all places.

White Diamond stood poised authoritatively, her cape flowing around her as she looked down into a crater. The ground was warped here, so Steven carefully slid himself down each step and was pleased when he managed to float down from the last one. He might not have much use for his powers anymore, but it was nice that he hadn't completely lost touch with his abilities.

It took him a moment to realize that they hadn't entirely left the Kindergarten. They were very high up now, not a single exit hole in sight, and the world had turned yellow. Subconsciously, Steven rubbed his damaged arm, wondering if the yellow that had invaded his skin would ever fade. He was standing a bit off from White Diamond, nearer to the palanquin, and he followed her gaze down into the dark caldera before them.

"This is where Yellow was made." The Diamond spoke next to him, in an almost regretful tone. Steven's mouth fell open in shock as he studied the surface below.

They weren't standing in front of a cliff face, but an exit hole. Yellow Diamond, threatening and mighty, had once emerged from below his very feet. It made sense as he absorbed the yellow scenery that uncannily matched that on his arm.

But… why did she bring me here?

She turned her head to look at him with her frightening eyes, and Steven forced himself to meet her gaze. It was skeptical, an eyebrow arched as he quivered beneath her.

"Do you know what differentiates us from the rock on which we stand, Steven? How something so powerful can come from nothing?" A hand gestured around her, comparing Yellow Diamond's mark on the stony ground to the yellow bumpiness that Steven felt against his bare feet.

Shaking his head, Steven answered cautiously. "N-No, My Diamond. I just… I know all gems come from an exit hole, and that when they, um, form, they know their purpose and all of that right away."

For the first time, White Diamond smiled fully. It was absolutely horrifying, a mouthful of sharpened teeth to match her piercing eyes, studying him. Steven cringed at her expression, lowering his head and trying his best to make it look like an act of respect rather than disgust.

"That's right. All gems do have a hole, much like this one. A home, you might say. But not you, Steven. You have no home, no hole, no history, no mark of ever existing. But here you are."

Steven continued to look at his feet, squeezing his eyes shut as she spoke. He wanted to deny it, reject it, run from reality… but she was right. Every part of it was true – just like Blue Diamond had said. His entire existence was a paradox; he didn't belong anywhere.

White Diamond turned around and took a few steps backwards, looking out in the direction they had come from, thinking to herself. Comparatively, Steven wasn't thinking at all, just staring down into the blackness that was the original home of another Diamond.

"But, there's more to us than where we came from – you still do not understand how we come to be." She wasn't looking at him and wasn't asking anymore questions. Steven clutched the gem at his navel, a silent action of agreement that White Diamond couldn't see.

She started to speak again, her voice musing. "We… are composed of a crystalline structure. It is what makes a gem stronger than the dirt from which they rise. There are certain conditions, minerals, and resources that must be present for a gem to form. Over time, those conditions compound until a gemstone is created. Broadly speaking, the more resilient a gem, the stronger their crystalline structure." White Diamond had turned back around to where Steven was standing, looking over him into the crater. For his part, Steven really didn't understand why she was telling him these things, but bit his tongue.

"A gem cannot be harvested; not truly. To take the minerals and resources of a gem and to repurpose it is one thing, but it is impossible to regain that specific structure that made a gem what it was. When one breaks, shattered beyond repair, they cannot be mended the way one might heal a cracked gemstone. But you already know that, don't you?" She had leaned over him and summoned two bubbles in each of her mighty hands, one in each, the left containing indiscernible shards and the right containing a cracked gemstone of a vein he did not recognize. The way in which she was leaning over him, both of them dangerously close to the edge of Yellow Diamond's exit hole had made him uncomfortable initially, but now that she was parading shattering and cracked gemstones in front of him, Steven had gone into a full-on panic.

Steven blinked several times, surprised to find himself crying. He answered her shakily. "Y-Yes, My Diamond. I – we – um, Rose Quartzes, we have healing powers."

"That's right. And do you know why the Rose Quartz gemstone can't heal shattered gems? Or why you can't fix corruption?" Steven stiffened at the memory, remembering Jasper and Centi, then the Amethyst and Jasper and Rose Quartz he had himself shattered. He wanted more than anything to fix them, make things right again…

White Diamond returned to her usual posture and sent the bubbles away, turning to look outwards again. Steven turned with her, curious despite himself, having wondered for a long time why it was his healing powers failed in those ways.

"N-no, I had tried to before, um, I came here. My Diamond." He almost forgotten his expected etiquette, tagging it on quickly when she turned around again. They stared at each other for a long time after that, Steven feeling locked in her penetrating stare, until she finally closed her eyes and turned her head slightly to one side. A moment later, to her left, a brilliant silvery light appeared from her gemstone, shining in the darkened space. She projected an image onto the ground nearby, much like Pearl would do to show him something from the past or to explain something complicated, but this was much larger.

"Steven. When the physical gem is damaged, the identity inside is split – divided but not irreversibly." As she spoke, an image of a gemstone had appeared and a deep crack gouged across its shimmering face, just like Amethyst's the day she fell from the cliff at the lighthouse. He said nothing as the display continued, White Diamond's voice growing darker.

"A crack does not damage the underlying structure," The visual zoomed in on the crack, illustrating what looked sort of like a crisscross of wires that bound the gem together, but they were all extremely taut – hard – like the wires were carved from steel. "But, when a crack runs too deep, the structure separates into millions of pieces, but the bonds themselves do not break." He watched as the image zoomed out for a moment, the gemstone splintered into deep shards, only to zoom in again. The taut wires were still there, crisscrossing in pairs, but there weren't as many. The bonds had clusters into groups as if a scalpel was determined to separate fragments of the gems into parts, but not to destroy the bones that provided the body structure.

"Each fragment contains a fraction of the crystalline configuration that made the gem what they were. All of the pieces are sentient, all of them desperate to reconnect the fiber of their consciousness. You probably understood this already from your encounter with the Cluster." She raised an eyebrow towards him as the visual disappeared, her sudden statement stunning him. He knew he couldn't keep any secrets from the Diamonds after all that's happened, but the Cluster was a strange subject to talk about even on Earth. He hadn't thought about it in so long, considering the problem over-and-done with. Now that the Diamond's knew they had stopped it from forming, he began to fidget nervously. He hadn't told anyone about what exactly happened down there…

She pressed her mouth into a line of disapproval, continuing before he had to chance to answer. "In theory, the Rose Quartz gemstone should be able to repair every piece of the physical gem, but it is impossible when shattered. In a crack, the healing essence of your lineage stretches the bonds that already exist to reconnect, and the loss is usually so minimal that there is permanent damage.

The problem lies in the tiny divisions that are imperceptible to the eye. When you shattered," her eyes flashed at him, causing Steven to catch his breath "Surely you noticed the dust that combusts outwards from the point of subsidence – the individual, tiny pieces that would knit the individual back together are not able to be recovered, lost to space." Her voice was almost sad as she spoke about it, but there was still a haunting chill that hung in the air. She narrowed her eyes to look at him, as if to make sure he was still there, not a figment of her imagination. Approaching him, Steven winced as White Diamond retook her place at his side, gazing down into the blackness below.

"Then, there is the matter of corruption. In many ways, it is simply the opposite. The physical gemstone remains intact, but the essence within the gem corrodes. The form does not disappear, but the consciousness is corrupted, hence, the name. The internal essence is there, but it has rotted to nothing. Your healing abilities are limited to the externalities of the gemstone. But…" White Diamond trailed off, and Steven peaked up at her, trying to focus despite his sweaty palms and pounding heart.

Her voice returned to its usual icy quality, when she turned her head to meet his gaze. "Blue and Yellow disagree on which fate is more horrible – to be yourself, but divided, in constant agony as you wish to reconnect with the other pieces of yourself; or to be whole, but for there to be nothing left that constitutes your essence, identity, personality. You would become but a shell, occupied by a ruined version of yourself. One is to shatter physically, the other, to shatter mentally and, perhaps, emotionally."

The sudden turn in the conversation made Steven even more tense than before, picking up on the threat behind her voice. The disagreement of Blue and Yellow… could only mean they had discussed these as possibilities. He gulped hard, trying to unlodge the lump in his throat.

After a passing silence, Steven held his hands in front of him like he had when they had first met, too curious for his own good. He spoke slowly in an attempt to still the panic in his voice.

"May I ask a question?" It was not as confident as he would have liked, but White Diamond did not move to chastise him. Instead, she simply continued to look into and through him with her fearsome white eyes.

"You need not ask. It is painted all over your face – you wonder why I brought you here, yes?"

Steven was thankful he did not have to say the question out loud, stomach churning nervously as she punctured his resolve with invisible daggers. He gave her a simple nod, at which she provided her giant hand at his feet, inviting him for a second time to put himself entirely at her mercy.

I suppose should have expected this. Why do I ask questions if I'm not prepared to face the answers?

He accepted, climbing on her fingers and standing hesitantly in her palm. To his relief, she lifted him into the air relatively gently so he did not fall, but by the end of it a part of him wishes he had. This was the first time he had really come fully face-to-face with her, always having to look up at her mighty presence. Up close, it was like the intensity that made her appear godlike was amplified ten-fold. Her eyes shined in the darkness, every feature ethereal and striking, his form tiny in her hand. How could someone so arresting – indeed, the image of divinity – be so incredibly malign?

"Because you are special, Steven." He felt like he had fallen backwards in time, back to the day he woke at Blue Diamond's feet, the same words repeated by the Diamond that now held him in a single massive hand. He stared at her as her words soaked in, trying to make sense of an unsolvable mystery.

"But – I – why? …um, My Diamond. It's just… I'm not special. I… You were right. I don't belong anywhere. I might… I might as well not exist." Steven tried hard to stay firm, but his voice cracked at the end. At least he managed not to cry.

She narrowed her eyes lethally, and Steven quickly realized that he had gone too far, so he hurried to make amends. "I – I am sorry, please forget that I said anything, My Diamond."

"No, it is fine this time. I suppose it is time you realize your purpose." Her voice had become especially deadly, holding him even closer to her face. Steven could do nothing but stand there trying to stop his shaking, feeling his heart threaten to explode from his chest.

"Our efforts at reanimation in the either case – shattering and corruption – have been inadequate, some early versions of which you saw on Earth – artificial fusions that were utter failures. You remember?" Yes, he did remember – too well, in fact. He felt a sickness in his stomach recalling the gem shards that he and Garnet had found fused beneath the Earth Kindergarten ages ago. The awesome and awful tyrant broke into a slow smile as the Steven's breath became increasingly ragged. Weakly, Steven managed a tiny nod. He really, really did not like where this conversation was going.

In a flash of movement, Steven was knocked onto his back in her palm as it extended outwards, the other coming down quickly towards him. Unable to help himself, Steven yelped in fear and covered his face with a hand, squeezing his eyes tight, thinking he was about die only moments later as her other hand flew downwards. He couldn't – she wouldn't – just crush him between her hands, be killed that simply, right?

His muscles relaxed when he peaked through his eyelids, realizing that White Diamond had paused her action and was cupping Steven between her hands, near enough that if he stood up his hair would brush along her hovering fingers. Steven almost thought she was going to pet him like a tiny animal, but his foolish thought was dispelled as he became airborn, weightless.

A moment later, Steven realized he was floating, and not as a product of his powers. Removing his protective arm from his vision and studying the scene around him, he realized everything had become white – that is, more so than it had been. White Diamond glittered like the stars at night, if the sky was white and the stars were illuminated like Christmas lights. She was an absolute glittering marvel of authority.

Turning himself in the unexpected beauty of it all, Steven blinked several times as his eyes continued to adjust. He knew this feeling – Garnet had done it to him once. He had been bubbled.

She lowered her voice to almost a whisper as she held him aloft, inches from her icy stare. "That was then, but this is now. Steven, you are the key."

Before he could even utter a gasp, she pressed the top of his bubble lightly and he was sent away, into a flash of infinite space, his destination unknown.