Disclaimer: I own this non-profit retarded fanfic. The characters are not mine.
Welcome to Chapter 30.
I would like to thank the dear Readers who took time reading this (starting from chapter one) and for encouraging me to finish this really cracky old fanfic. Now we are ALMOST at the end of the chapter so please enjoy the last part of "Shirtless Kai."
Chapter 30: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Somewhere in a high security prison for high profiled rich criminals...
A certain someone was happy, very happy, and he's gloating with evil laughter.
Voltaire was watching the battle live on television while he was eating lunch in the prison's cafeteria. "Hahahahahah! why didn't I thought of this before!? Screw collecting bitbeast! my grandson can rule the world through his shirtlessness!"
Another prisoner joined him, he was a rather large prisoner "MMMmmmm... that sure is a handsome young man you got there gramps." the large burly man said, eying Kai with obvious lust, even Voltaire could notice it.
"Ummm... thanks! I guess?"
Suddenly the table began to rise...
"Excuse me but your leg is in the way"
"Oh that's not my leg"
Voltaire awkwardly, and quietly went to the next table.
While the battle continues...
Tala was moping around, wondering on what to do to get his hands on the female red head without the possibility of legal cases blocking the way of his road to love. If only he had to get to know Julia much earlier, this wouldn't had happen. Alas, he was much too occupied in preventing Boris from coming back by spying on the old man but in the end he failed at some point and Boris ended up creating Team Bega and even worse, he also took over BBA. This makes him feel like an utter failure.
If only he wasn't so focus or obsessed on getting famous and getting higher TV ratings, he would have a huge of a chance of getting to know Julia.
Tala sexily agonized in despair.
This cause the woman of the TV crew to have a serious girl boner and moaned quite inappropriately out loud for everyone to hear.
"Tala... hey, Tala"
The Blitzkrieg captain snaps out from his dark despair when Kai called him, though there still a massive black depression lingering around him but Kai didn't pay much attention to his partner's problem since he currently has his own to attend with. "Tala, I want you to get rid of Julia."
Tala blinks for a moment. Registering slowly what Kai has told him "You want me to what?"
"I want Tyson to be in good shape when we battle and Julia tiring him out seem to look like I cheated myself from getting a good clean fight." Kai reasoned. After all, he was still a blader at heart and a warrior with pride.
Tala finally got the idea "So, you want me to get rid of her while you battle it out with Tyson"
"Yes"
Kai made a face when Tala didn't want to coordinate.
"I can't"
His dual haired partner raise a brow, "what do you mean You can't?"
"I got feelings for Julia"
"The hell should I care!?"
Tala grabs him by the shoulder and shook him to get to his point "But it's true love Kai! TRUE LOVE!"
"Tsk! fine. You will distract her and make her fall for you or whatever, I don't care"
"You should since I get serious trouble if ever I get romantically involved, it's against the contract"
"If it's true love then it doesn't matter if you face countless legal issues!"
Tala snorts, "C'mon, let's be realistic Kai. You know that's not how real life works and we're only teenagers. Think of the costly court hearings and emotional stress it could cause. I thought about this and there is a huge chance it can cause painful breakups to families and couples. These are accurate statistics Kai!"
"The hell came up with those statistics?"
"Well Mr. Hiwatari, do YOU have a plan on how I can get out of this?"
Kai thought for a second and remembered a certain scenario he did in the past that he could use against the TV producer "In fact, I do have a plan. Hold on a sec..." He left the red head's side and went directly to the TV in-charge. Hoping that this tactic would work on older middle aged men (Boris was already a pervert to begin with in Kai's reasoning) this kind of seductive mind manipulation will work on this guy... whom he caught ejaculating way too many times while filming.
The head of the TV production crew notice one of their top stars is coming towards him all shirtless and ... mesmerizing 'Gosh dang it to heck! he's hot!.' Kai ignored the visible drool on the man's face since he expected this would happen through his many, many, sort of traumatic experience.
"You! let's have a talk"
"Hey Kai! what's up? This is kinda rare that you want to talk to me. I mean, you never really said a word to me since day 1 of filming in Russia"
They stood in front of each other. Kai, as planned, tries to seduce him into altering Tala's contract. "I need a word with you regarding Mr. Ivanov's contract."
"Okay, what of it?"
"Let's talk inside this room"
Kai led him to one vacant room, which is the storage room. In what led to almost 3 minutes, they got out. Kai was seen smiling victoriously and there was a faint sobbing sound coming from the head producer inside. No one bothered to know what has transpired inside the storage room between Kai and the Producer, even Tala didn't want to know what was going on inside there but he was sure enough Kai has good news for him.
"So, ummm... how'd it go?"
"Good news. Your contract is now void, you're free to go"
With no questions, when he heard he was free a free man, Tala waste no time in rushing out of the control room and towards his lady love waiting for him in the battle field. 'He really got it bad for Julia.I better find Tyson before he tires himself out' Wearing a buttoned shirt so Tyson won't get distracted, Kai was leaving the room but before he could leave, Bryan was growling towards the air-vent. Knowing what to do, Kai orders the film crew "form a human pyramid so Bryan can climb up there!"
"Don't tell us what to do!"
When they didn't comply, Kai once again use his sexy shirtless seductive powers by sexily ripping off his buttoned shirt and damn it to hell his muscled torso is so beautifully hypnotizing "You will obey me."
"Okay!" so they did form a human pyramid enough for Bryan to climb up and reach the air vents to see whatever it was lurking in there. Kai was hoping it would be Ray.
After Tala told him about Kai and Bryan's relationship, Ray quickly tries to find the Blitzkrieg locker room and was muttering out loud for everyone in the hallway to hear that he would murder Bryan. When he got inside the locker room with the intent of hurting Bryan, there was nobody inside. It was then he saw the live broadcast of Kai and Tala announcing to change the tournament into some horrific death match and an enticing prize that is so hard not to ignore. He was still fuming in anger with an image of Bryan lying on Kai's lap looking very satisfied and comfortable.
His response was the same as Tyson and Julia "What the fuck is he doing on Kai's lap!?"
He decided to go directly to the control room but only to find Spencer and Ian guarding the door. Knowing he will only tire himself out if he battle those two and might end up a losing battle against Tala and Bryan. Desperate for a plan, he remembered if those action/ spy movies he watches actually works in real life. Minutes later, he was almost at his destination. "Let's see... the control room should be this way" Ray crawled through the air vents which is conveniently spacious for him to move around.
There was a voice that belonged to Kai, no doubt about it. He moves closer to the ceiling ventilator grill. As Ray got close, Kai's attack dog pops up and he was barking.
"Woof! Woof! Grrrrrr! Rawr! Woof!"
Ray almost crap himself, "holy shit! Bryan!?"
He was right.
"Yup, that's definitely Ray alright" Kai said as he could hear visible cat hissing at a dog (Bryan) and then he hears the roof thumping as his attack dog and Ray were fighting. Now that he's done here, it was time to find Tyson and settle their rivalry once and for all.
The Arena.
Too many injured bladers moaning and whimpering in pain
Only two people left standing
Tyson Vs. Julia
The two of them were about to engage in a serious battle but that is after they're done shouting at each others throats.
"Give it up Tyson! Kai would prefer me over a gross boy like you!"
"Bitch I can satisfy Kai better than you since he's a man and I'm also a man"
"Pffft! bitch please, you're only a fifteen year old virgin boy"
"My point is! as the same gender... We know how to satisfy each other"
"Keep dreaming loser! If you were as hot as... I dunno... Tala, maybe I wouldn't mind watching the two of them fuck"
"Did someone mentioned my name?"
That's when Tala pops in with a rose in hand in which he present it for her and kisses her hand. He was looking quite flirty towards Julia in which the latter ignores his advances and decides to grab him by the shoulders and demanded to know Kai's whereabouts. "You're Kai's 2nd hand man! where is he!?"
"I'll tell you in one condition"
Julia rolls her eyes, she knows where this deal is going "Oh no, not this shit"
"You have to take me for a date"
"Fuck you!"
"Oh I really don't mind fucking a beautiful lady like you"
"IMMA STAB YOU WITH MY- wait, did you say I'm beautiful?"
"Yes"
Julia inspects Tala up and down. In fairness, he's quite good looking though he may not pass as Kai Hiwatari but since she's horny as hell, Tala will do "Hmmm... not bad. Okay you pass but when we get to have sex I want you to wear a wig similar to Kai and also add those blue triangles on your face. Got it?"
Tala feels hopeful that he gets the girl he's been looking for and gets to have sex with her on their first date, even though he needs to dress up as Kai and pretend to be him "If it's the only way to make you love me then YES!"
"Whatever... let's find the nearest locker room and be done with this already"
As they left, Tyson looks around if there are any opponents left "looks like I'm the last one standing." Tyson decides to call out Kai for their final and epic battle (Also because he misses his shirtless friend that he secretly lust for.)
'This calls for drastic measures'
"Kai! wherever you are, you have to come out and fight me! it's just you and me!" he then tries to push his buttons "let's see who's the best blader there is! but heck, we all know it's always me. Am I right? Mr. second place!"
"What the fuck did you say!?"
"Ah there he is"
There he was, standing on top of a pole, he stood there well balanced like a ninja. There was no reason why he was standing there but fuck it, he make it look cool. He jumps and made a flawless landing. Tyson got excited because somehow Kai had forgotten that he ripped his buttoned shirt earlier and his bare chest was so exposed. Tyson so wanted to touch those hard ripped muscles on his chest and slide it down to his stomach and slid it further down his-
Kai it him in the head, it was hard but Kai felt good about it "quit your staring and fight me you moron!"
The champion got back to his senses "Oh right, the battle" Tyson started his launching stance with Dragoon ready "Get ready Kai, coz I've been training."
His opponent was the same, his fighting spirit all fired up "just hope all that training didn't go to waste"
3
2
1
"Let it RIIIIPP!"
The battle was on!
Two TV crew members were talking while looking at what seem to be a never-ending fight between a dog and a cat.
"You think Bryan is okay up there?"
"Dunno, the boss is still crying in the storage room. Ya think we should talk to him?"
"Nah, rather not"
The ceiling no longer handle the weight between two teenagers and soon it crashes down. Bryan was unlucky and landed with a loud THUD and broke Ray's fall. Rubbing his throbbing head with his hand and cursed in a Chinese language about how dangerous that was but glad he was at least alive from that fall. Ray slowly stood up and staggered towards the monitors to see what was happening but the screen showed nothing but static turns out the cable monitors were damaged since it was connected from the ceiling in which he and Bryan both fell.
All Ray could hear now was the audio.
There were grunting noises and suggestive use of language involved
*Heavy panting noise*
"Oh my god, it's huge!"
"Shut up and take it like a man Tyson!"
Tyson whimpered "Ow! you're aggressively attacking me from behind"
"Quit being a bitch!"
Hearing the whole exchange, Ray figures the worst "They're having sex! NOOOOOOO!" He ran out of the room in shock and with a now broken heart. Bryan was poked by one of the film crew to see if he wakes up but gave up when there was no response and suggested he needed medical help "I think we need to call an Ambulance."
Minutes earlier...
In what could have been an epic battle between two rivals like dramatically clashing their blades, create a huge crater, or actually destroy the whole stadium, a little trash talk and all of that would have been great if only Tyson keeps being distracted at looking at semi-shirtless Kai... and thought of him naked and wearing only that open white shirt. Even Dragoon is annoyed by this "Tyson, I must implore you to focus on this battle and fantasize about him later."
Tyson failed to listen to him and was preoccupied "Oh my god, it's huge!"
"A huge what?" Dragoon looks at the direction where Dranzer was and for the first time, was shaken at the sheer power in front of him "oh... fuck"
Behind Kai was a huge red energy ball. "Shut up and take it like a man Tyson!" Kai said, the energy ball then shoots thousands of fiery feathers towards dragoon. Tyson chose to run in a safe distance but it was too late and got hit himself.
Tyson whimpered "Ow! you're aggressively attacking me from behind"
"Quit being a bitch!"
His bitbeast Dragoon offered an advice, a useful tactic to fight against Kai "Tyson, it is imperative that we must use a powerful direct attack" his master however was running around "My ass is on fire!"
Dragoon facepalmed "ugh... Dranzer must be laughing at us right now. That bird doesn't talk much but I know he's laughing" He noticed there was something going on with Kai and he doesn't like the look on his face "Damn, his master is doing that evil smile" He knew at this moment that Dranzer's master was about to use his last attack to finish off Tyson. Indeed he was right, Kai already use all his concentrated energy in one attack. Dranzer from above swoop down like a burning meteor aiming directly at Tyson.
The champion quickly recovers and his only initiative was to collide Dragoon with it "I will block your attack with all my strength! Dragoon counter attack!"
"About damn time!"
As the two beyblades where about to collide. The author took this as an opportunity to insert a running theme in every shounen genre: Shouting at your opponent's name. Just add BOLD caps!
"TYSON!"
"SASUKE- I mean... KAI!
Their beyblades crashed at each other
A large blanket of white light covered the whole arena
Ray got blinded and fell down the long stairway
An then there was nothing but white.
.
.
.
Watch out for the short epilogue...
(A/N): Oh thank goodness this is almost over! It was a hellish busy Holiday in December and I was planning in writing more but there were many obligations to attend like my work, family, and other concerns. New Year's resolutions? Update all my fics! except maybe the unpopular ones (probably consider it as a oneshot)
Bonus Scenes!
*Ian a Spencer took Bryan to the hospital and from there he survived.
*The bright white light made Tala came too early which caused Julia to be disappointed and very unsatisfied.
"that's all?"
"believe me, this never happened before. Give me five minutes to make it stand up again"
*Hilary and Kenny watched Tala and Julia having sex with both eating a popcorn. The two horny teens didn't notice two unwanted guest were there the WHOLE time and snickered at Tala's short performance.