Not so late update xDD

THIRTY-SIX

Next day of school was a lot better than yesterday –it was still better than being home alone anyways. After praying for God, I fell asleep almost immediately. I was surprised that I managed to sleep for more hours than last night, though I still woke up several times. At any rate, my mood at school was one thing, but in home alone was different. The exchange from one to another was drastic. I couldn't believe how much the loneliness affected me. I woke up moody and grumpy, which Marco didn't liked one bit, but that was normal, everyone did. He says that sometimes I get irritated real quick, angry over nothing, but I honestly think it's just... sadness, the rest was due to the stress. Being home alone for hours was taking its toll on me, considering I was used to the noise there.

I just had a call from Kat, my "therapist", to pay her a visit. Apparently, she decided to resume our sessions, only this time just Fridays –today as an exception, -"Marco came to me concerned about you, Kirshtein,"- She said, her tone drastically different from out last session, which ended pretty badly. She was clearly still pissed at me, -"So he asked me to check on you."

I slumped back comfortably in the chair and sighed. Kat seemed to have reshuffled the infirmary; the beds were new with soft furry cloths, the chairs were more comfortable, there were books lined up neatly on shelves, everything to make a patient feel like he was home, -"What exactly did he tell you?"- I asked. I really wasn't in the mood for her questions today.

-"You know exactly what."- She said sharply and I kept realizing just how mad she really was with me. Other than that, she still looked the same. It was weird to admit that girls didn't had that special... how do I say it, charm or effect on me anymore. I didn't had that prompt motion to gaze at their breast or their asses. That made this situation harder.

I just shrugged, -"He could've told you a lot of things actually, considering the stuff that's been happening to me, so no, I don't know."- Yes, I knew. He was really worried about my mood.

She sighed, irritated. I was obviously her most complicated patient to deal with, -"Alright, Kirshtein, have it your way,"- She was acting kind of bitchy here. And I was the moody one, -"Marco and I think you suffer from bipolar disorder."

Whoa, I wouldn't put it like that. I wasn't that grave. Maybe she though so, but I already spoke to Marco about it, -"Whoa, whoa, hold on,"- I said, a snort escaping my lips, -"I think your jumping the fence here."

She frowned, displeased with my comment, -"Kirstein, this is serious."

Now I sighed, irked, running a hand through my hair, ruining what little work I put on it this morning, -"Look, it's not that bad. I'm sad, ok?"- I wasn't planning on telling her this or anything else, but she was pushing my buttons and I wanted to get out of here.

-"And why are you sad?"

Here we go again, I rolled my eyes, -"Things, alright? I haven't had the best weeks."

-"I need you to be honest with me,"- She grimaced, -"Otherwise, I can't help you."- If she even wanted to. A few weeks back, yeah, now? Not so much.

I admit, I did needed help, but not hers, not from a therapist, I needed help from friends, people who understood me, -"My mother die- I mean, she's ill. Done?"

She wrote something on the board she rested in her lap and looked at me expectantly, -"Go on."

-"I already told you."- I just wanted to be over with this. I didn't want to give her any more information.

And so help me, she went straight to the point, -"Tell me about your sexual issues."

-"Sexual iss-?! Wait, wait, wait,"- I snorted, sitting straight this time, -"Did you just said 'issues'?"

She nodded casually.

Just where the hell was this visit getting to? And what did she mean 'issues'? -"Would you care to elaborate?"- I asked, not in a nice way.

And if anything, it amused her as a sly grin grew in her pink lips, -"Issues. What's more to elaborate? Tell me about your sexual problems."

I arched an eyebrow, -"And how do you know I have problems?"

She crossed her legs and giggled, what the fuck? –"I have my sources."

I laughed, and balled my fists in front of me, -"Then tell your sources I'm coming for them."

Again she giggled, -"I'll take that as a yes,"- She said and wrote again. I had that sudden impetus to nab her board and break it, but I held back, -"Tell me about your interactions with women."

The fucking hell? –"Why the fuck do you want to know?"- Well shit. I told myself –and God, for that matter, that I'd control my vile language in front of others, but fuck it. I was pissed off, -"It's none of your business."

-"You can stop pretending now."

-"The hell do you mean?"

-"Let me demonstrate."- She stood, hands on hips as an odd grin spread on her lips. She walked towards me in a flirtatious manner and sat on lap; leaning close to me, she purposely raised her bust. I was aware of her movements, but my instinct was to shield myself from her. I stared at her eyes with a frown. Like I said, women had cero effect on me and that's what she wanted to prove.

She laughed out loud.

-"Get off of me!"- I shouted and promptly pushed her back. I don't know if she fell, I don't know if she broke her back, but I sure as hell didn't let her speak, -"What is this? An infirmary or a whorehouse?"- I stomped out, but not until I heard her laugh again.

Outside, I slammed my fist in the receptionist's desk, -"I want to make a request to cast out a nurse for a new one."

The secretary was thunderstruck, but dug out the paper nonetheless.

I quickly filled it, hands quivering with anger:

Full name (optional): Jean Kirshtein, oh, I wanted her to know it was me alright.

Grade: 12-2

Who do you wish to expel: Kat, aka, bitchface .|.

Any recommendations for new personnel: none at the fucking moment, I actually had a few in mind.

Any reasons for your decision: cus she's provocative, only cares for gossip and a complete total bitch.

Before I handed in the paper, I noticed other requests clipped together, like six more. Well, well, I wasn't the first one to request Kat's castaway. I examined them and noticed we all had the same reasons: provocation and gossip. One wrote: insult and jests on sexual preferences. Interesting. As I eyed them, all of them had more or less the same reasons. I read their names: Diego De Castro, Daniel Mastrano, Ibrahim Harris and Nathaniel Guerrero. The rest were anonymous. Another thing in common –excluding the anonymous: all men and… with complicated names.

I committed their names to memory and headed out. I had no reason to believe they were all gays, but Diego, the one who wrote insults and jests on sexual preferences was more likely. I had a gut feeling they all are to be honest. Yet so, Diego was my first stop. He was on 11-2.

I was planning on skipping class to search for this guy, but Marco disapproved, so I waited until art. Pixis was absent again. Odd. On launch hour, I surprisingly ate more than yesterday. In the table was Marco and the rest of my group, -"How was your appointment with Kat?"

I clicked my tongue, -"Tell you later."

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I tried not to dwell much, but it was inevitable. Kat, once sweet and caring, turned out to be miss gossip, mocking and sluty. I guess appearances do deceive. Despite my denial to admit to others I was gay, I felt offended and it was actually her intention. Was she homophobic? I couldn't say, but she was laughing at me.

Marco must have noticed fumes coming out of my ears, -"Jean…"- He softly pulled on my school shirt and I met his eyes. We didn't need words to communicate: he was telling me not to think too much on whatever happened and I sighed, nodding.

-"So, like yeah, I finally told her,"- Connie was joyfully waving his arms in success, -"And she said YES man!"

Thomas almost jumped, -"Really? You did it, Connie!"

-"Good work!"

-"Oh, goody. Now we have Mr. and Mrs. Potato."- Commented Ymir, a grin on her lips.

Everyone laughed, except Krista, who elbowed her.

-"When are you going out with her?"- Asked Armin.

-"This Saturday,"- Answered Connie, mouth full, -"To the movies."

-"Ugh, so typical."- Again, Ymir earned another elbow smack from Krista. She was used to it.

Krista now spoke, her voice angelic as always, -"You should give her a gift."

-"Yeah, been thinking about that."- Connie muttered to himself, hands on chin.

They kept bickering and I wondered how it would have turned out for me if I was in Connie's shoes. I've forgotten the simplicity of it; see a girl, ask her out, done. It was so… normal. So every-day. Having experienced otherwise, I noted how different I was now. Girls practically have no impact on me anymore, I didn't flirt with them, didn't slur over them. I feel nothing for them. Of course, my female friends from the group were different. I respected them, but other than that, nothing. Like Mom used to say: I was in the herd. Not anymore. That alteration in me was sudden and the world seemed… distinct.

-"Yo, Jean, you hearin'?"- I heard Connie call.

Reiner quickly gave him a sharp glare, -"Connie."

-"W-what? I'm worried, man!"

-"It's fine, Reiner,"- I said, guessing Marco told Reiner something about my situation with Mom and Reiner told the rest of the group, -"What were you asking me, C?"

-"I, uh… how are you, man? You seemed gloomy these days."

-"Yeah, sorry,"- I sighed, -"Mom's sick in the hospital and I haven't been told anything of her health yet."

Connie winced, -"Damn."

-"She's okay,"- I said, gazing at Marco and smiling. Marco smiled back at me, -"I have faith."

Reiner nodded and slightly gazed at Marco, giving him and approving look, -"That's good."

-"Yeah and if you need money,"- Krista spoke up, -"Just say the world and we can collect for you around the school."

-"Thanks."- I said. And that is why I respected the girls from my group.

After Marco and I finished, we headed off, the rest stood for a while longer, waving us goodbye. Outside, I inquired Marco, -"Hey, did you tell Reiner about… mom?"

He flinched, not expecting me to notice, -"Y-yeah, I did,"- He toyed with his freckled cheeks nervously, -"I-I thought you'd feel uncomfortable if they asked you, so I told Reiner to warn the others."

I smiled, in spite of myself, -"I see,"- I said, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, -"Thanks,"- Eyeing the hallway, I noted it was half empty, so I gave Marco a quick kiss in those cheeks I loved so much.

He smiled and blushed, -"So, are you gonna tell me what happened with Kat? Your face told me everything."

I blushed at that and then snarled, remembering the moment clearly, -"That bitch!"- I cursed, balling my fists, -"She's not really interested in other's problems, she just likes gossip!"

Marco tilted his head, -"Why would you say that?"

-"Well, when I talked about my problems with Mom and such, she seemed uninterested –oh, but when she asked me about my personal affairs, she had this annoying grin that… ugh!"

-"And… what did you tell her?"

I told Marco everything, how she laughed at me, how she provoked me and how she changed. I told him my opinion of her being homophobic or that she just likes to mock other's sexual preferences. Now that I think of it… in our last appointments, she pushed me in telling her what she noted today, -"I think she's just interested in other's sexual affairs, y'know, for gossip. Especially men's."- That reminded me I needed to search for someone.

-"Oh, that's why you were angry,"- Marco gave me an apologetic look, -"I'm sorry, I just thought she could help you."

Again and always, I'd smile at his compassionate thoughts, -"It's okay. Don't blame yourself."- I think if it was anyone else, I'd say, you better be, instead.

I then mentioned about the request to cast her out and told him there were others besides mines. Marco disapproved at first; he didn't liked the idea of ruining someone else's work, but he knew better: Kat was no nurse. I also told him the names of the others who signed the request.

-"The requests are too few though,"- Marco pointed out, -"I don't think the principal will take them seriously."

-"Yeah, I know,"- I sighed, hope extinguishing, -"Well, I might as well pay that guy a visit. You with me?"

-"Always."- He smiled broadly and God, I wanted to kiss him right there and now.

We asked around for Diego De Castro from 11-2 in the office and managed to scoop out that his home class was art by Pixis. I wanted to ask about Nathaniel and the others, but I kept shut, guessing it might sound suspicious for Petra. Right now, 11-2 was taking math so Marco and I headed there and waited.

Since the hallway was void, I closed the space between me and Marco. He promptly rested his head on my shoulder and I rested mine over his, -"Why are you looking for this guy again?"- He asked.

-"I want to know what Kat did to him that made him request to expel her,"- I closed one eye, remembering the dates, -"He was the first one, actually."

-"Do you plan to meet the others too?"

I nodded, -"Yeah, and see if there's a connection of some sorts; if she just bugs gays or any random guy,"- Marco sighed and I wondered if he was okay with the idea of me meeting random guys I knew nothing of. Snorting, I squeezed his cheek with my finger, -"You're not jealous, are you?"

Marco's cheek turned red, but shook his head nonetheless, -"No, I'm just… worried."

-"Why's that?"

-"I dunno… I just have a bad feeling about all this."- He shuddered a bit.

-"Don't worry. It'll be alright,"- I reassured him, -"Besides, you know I'm no pushover. I can throw punches."

Marco chuckled, -"I know."

I planted my face in his black hair, inhaling his sweet scent of vanilla. I've kept my promise so far; I've been keeping control of my desires, despite our closeness. I don't know for how long though.

When the bell rang and the hallway filled with students, I pulled away from him, rather abruptly, taking him by surprise.

-"Hey, I told you already, I'm not interested."- I heard a strange voice among the crowd, very different… unique. It was a male's but…

-"Then that just proves our point: gaaaaaaay."

-"Malditos."- Yup, bingo. It was his accent. Spain, if I'm not mistaken.

I stood up and watched the scene. Yup, that was my guy, the one in gold. He was surrounded by three guys, bullies actually, eleventh graders too. Diego was easily recognizable, completely notorious with those golden jewelry and the extravagant haircut: it was a messy abundant mohawk, ample from the front to way back, the sides a bit shaved. It was golden-ish blonde with shades of light brown; this guy had a fetish with gold.

-"What did you say?"

-"Nothing your slow-witted mind can comprehend."- And his choice of words was unique too.

-"Uhh… what is he saying?"

-"Stop talking in riddles, shit head!"

-"Then begone."- Said Diego, waving his hand. I noted a few golden rings.

-"I think he just said you're stupid."

-"Asshole."- One of the bullies balled his fist and aimed it at Diego.

-"Espere!"- Diego had his arms in front of him in an attempt to shield himself. He had poor physical training. This guy was all good looks, -"Um… you know that girl? She, um… was calling you."

I shook my head. Was this guy trying to smart talk them away? I noted he was trying to use simple words so the bullies could understand, –"Huh?"

-"Yes, she called you earlier. I think she…um, wants you to kiss her."

One of the bullies started to believe him, -"Really?"- He started to walk away until the one beside him stopped him.

Diego noticed and flinched, -"They're also giving free –uh, how do you pronounce it in English? Hot dogs?"

The fat bully immediately shot up, -"Free hot dogs?"

-"Yes! In the… launch room!"

Fatty quickly left. Well, at least now he had to deal with two, but the ring leader didn't buy any of his lies, -"You think you're smart, eh?"- He said and nodded to his companion, who quickly nodded back and covered him, placing himself in front of the leader, facing the dispersing crowd. It was enough to prevent, say, a teacher from looking.

The leader grabbed Diego from his throat and forcefully slammed him in the wall. This one gasped for air, while gripping his assailant's hand and cursed, -"Mierda!"

That's when I quickly rushed for his aid, Marco trailing behind me. When I reached him, I grabbed the assailant's arm hard, -"Hey, that's enough."- I dug my nails as hard as I could and twisted his skin.

-"Fuck!"- He shouted and pulled back, rubbing were I caused damaged, -"I'm tellin' the guards!"

Diego fell on his butt and Marco quickly aided him, -"You okay?"

-"Yes, I'm… fine,"- He said as he stood up, caressing his neck, -"No, 'fine' emitted a harsh tone. How about…'good'?"

Marco chuckled, -"That's okay."

Diego smiled back and stared at Marco for quite some time, tilting his head, -"You know… you look an awfully lot like my dear Zaeed…"- He started reaching for his cheek…

Until I slapped his hand away, -"Ow! Eso dolió! Any reason in specific why you engaged me?"- He said, wincing while rubbing his hand, -"Ah, of course. You wouldn't want me touching your boyfriend. I assure you, I've no…"

I gave him a sharp glare, ignoring his latter statement.

He stepped back a bit, -"Esta bien, esta bien,"- He said, brushing off dust from his brown jeans, -"I suppose I should thank you. Gracias… um…"

Recognizing 'thank you' in Spanish, I answered him, -"Jean Kirshtein. From twelve-two."- A quick uneasiness invaded me as I gave him my name, but quickly vanished when I realized that he had no reason to use that info against me; I just saved his life.

-"Nice to meet you, Kirshtein, and your boyfriend is…?"

-"He's not-"- I bit my lips and, crossed my arms and looked away from both of them. I knew Marco was gazing me.

Diego found it amusing, -"Yes, of course not, because you didn't almost chopped my hand off."

I clicked my tongue.

-"I'm Marco. Marco Bodt."- Marco introduced himself.

-"A pleasure, Bodt,"- Diego nodded with a slight bow. He eyed Marco before speaking, -"Allow me to-"

-"Yeah, yeah, we know who you are,"- I said, standing in between them, pissed the hell off, -"Diego de Castro. Nice to meet you, sure."

Diego laughed, a hand on his forehead, -"Ah, you must be a fan,"- He said, a broad smirk on his face, -"You must wish for an autograph, but I've no pen with me at the moment."

I rolled my eyes. Who is this guy? I eyed him: he was totally bizarre, he didn't look like a student from here. I had a gut feeling he was from Sina, inasmuch the fancy jewelry he wore: earring, rings and a golden Michael Kors clock accompanied by bracelets. He had the school shirt tugged inside his pants and the sleeves up the elbow. He seemed… older than an eleventh grader and too rich looking to be living in Trost.

His light brown eyes met mines and he widen them suddenly, gasping, -"Oh, my glasses! Can you see them around?"

-"Here."- Marco handed them. They were… layered in golden too.

-"Ah, thank you,"- He looked at me, -"You got yourself a cute one, you know."

By now, I was gritting my teeth.

Before I could tell him anything however, he spoke again, -"Well, you saved me from a certain death, so I owe you, yes?"

Marco and I exchanged glances, but I spoke next, -"I actually have a few questions for you."

-"Oh?"- He raised an eyebrow, -"What about?"- I gaped my mouth, but before I could mutter a word, his cellphone rang, -"Ah, sorry, it's my little brother,"- He clicked on his IPhone and answered, -"Yeees? Oh, really, so soon? Well, I'm on my way then. Love you too,"- He hung up and turned to me, -"Can we talk some other time? Here, my phone number,"- He dug out a pen and a scrap of paper from his pocket –so he had one, and wrote his number, -"Feel free to call or text me anytime. Oh and,"- He nodded towards Marco before walking away, -"Be sure to give it to him. Hasta la vista."

In was in the brink of exploding in anger and punching him were the bully failed to, but I held myself and walked away with Marco, -"Bad, bad idea."- I muttered.

Marco chuckled, enjoying himself, -"You're not jealous, are you?"

I almost laughed, but instead put on a pout face and looked away. Promptly, I grabbed Marco and pulled him closer to me. It was an impulsive act, one that I didn't see coming. So yeah, I was fucking jealous. Who the fuck Diego think he is calling him cute and comparing him to some other guy ?

I kissed him roughly, taking him by surprised. He didn't had time to answer it; I ran my tongue through his lips and bit them, -"A little."- I said through the kisses.

He chuckled, his cheeks bright red.

It was with Marco that I'd forgot everything that haunted me. I was happy and warm with his company. True, sometimes the dark emotions came by, but they'd disappear almost immediately. With him, my chances of staying sane were better than home alone.

Then again, those moments passed by in a flash and now I was home alone. Feeling thirsty, I checked the fridge and cabinets, only to find them empty. There was nothing for me to prepare, so I took dad's 20 bucks, walked to the local store and bought a few snacks and a gallon of water. Back home, I sat on my bed and started playing CoD in an attempt to distract myself. It worked, for a short time though. I kept wondering why Dad hasn't called or texted me to check how I was doing or refill me on Mom's status. I called him and he didn't answer either. Soon, I'll be out of food and water. Worried and unable to get those thoughs out of me, I turned off the PS3 and slumped to bed. Maybe God didn't heard me yesterday, maybe Mom was getting worse, maybe she... died and now Dad couldn't face me...

With hands on my face, I rushed to the bathroom and took one of those long baths. In here, I couldn't distinguish my tears from the water drops coming from the shower, so I felt confident I wasn't crying, or at least that's how I wanted to feel, but I knew better: I was crying like never before. My wails echoed throughout the bathroom until they reached me. More and more came out until I couldn't hear the water dropping anymore. I lost the notion of time; second, minutes or even hours passed and I didn't know. I felt lonely, sad, scared, unable to do anything else but cry.

I hate being alone. Someone like me who has so far stationed up a strong front... was afraid of the solitude and silence.

Here's those spanish words :D soo, what do you think of this new character? I appreciate any kind of opinions and thoughs!

Hasta la vista = so long.

Mierda = shit.

Eso dolió = that hurts.