Amongst Dead Crows & High Wolves, a Mass Effect inspired story,

Chapter Two: Nightmares & Comforts

Rated T-M. All credit goes to Bioware. I claim nothing from writing this story.

...

Shepard's funeral was to be a special one, of sorts; she was the only person who had ever had two. Though it was the second funeral of hers Garrus was attending, it wasn't any easier. If anything, it was worse.

Back when she had first died, and no one thought she was coming back, Garrus and the Commander had only ever been friends. This time he was mourning his lover.

Yes, Garrus missed her. He missed many things about her: her influence on people for a start, the way she brought people together, how she made some of the most impossible and most stubborn people in the galaxy become the closest of friends, like him and Wrex.

But that was nothing compared to what he felt now. He was love-sick. But never-the-less he was determined that her day was going to be about Shepard—and only her. Despite the sadness and grief, there was a sense that they were about to celebrate her life and her accomplishments one last time before saying their final goodbyes and watching her take her final journey, and even though she wasn't here, Garrus didn't want her to think she was taking it alone. She would have the entire galaxy here to support her in a few days time.

It had taken a full two weeks to set everything up and invite everyone. In the end, Garrus had to make it an open funeral, because so many people wanted to come. He would have said no if it wasn't for the Turian Royal family, who also wanted to attend. They could only attend open events, for the security was enormously expensive and would have to be everywhere. It was just cheaper and a lot easier for Garrus to make it open to the public.

He had only spoken to the King once before, in Primarch Victus' company. But Victus had died saving a group of civilians on Earth in the final battle, making him now not only a hero to his men but also a hero to the people of Earth. Not much could beat a reputation like that.

So now with Vicus gone, he would have to meet the King alone this time, who wanted to speak with him personally. Garrus wouldn't refuse that invitation, even if it was unexpected. He knew his father would have a few words to say if he did. It was just a big surprise to Garrus. The King had been in talks with the Hierarchy about the new Primarch. It was no longer a precise selection between high ranking generals, heroes of Palaven or the big-headed and courageous commanders. No, the Royal family had survived the war, survived everything, and so had earned the right to a choice of who that person would be. That person would be given the responsibility of rebuilding and reconnecting the Turian race to the galaxy.

To say Garrus was nervous to meet his King was an understatement. He would have to be on his best behaviour, avoiding all of his bad jokes and sarcastic lines as well.

Crap.

He didn't want her day to be about him or anyone else for that matter. Even for people so important that they were stuck up their asses about it. But he at least needed to make it safe for everyone. Shepherd may have been a galactic hero, but that didn't mean everybody gave her the respect she deserved. He would need to make it look like he had done it for the Royal family and for anyone of a high rank; otherwise it would look bad on him. He didn't really care, but his father did and he didn't need his father going on at him about something as basic and downright stupid as that.

Not for the next few days at least. So he would do what was asked of him, for now.

Truthfully he knew deep down he was only doing it so Shepard's day would go ahead without any problems whatsoever! If he was honest, he didn't really want anyone getting shot at…

Wrex would have a field day!

He took out his data-pad and checked his emails again. Nothing new but he wanted to re-read the one from the King and the Council, just to make sure he hadn't missed anything. He wanted her funeral as perfect as it could be. Humans and Turians alike held these kind of events with great passion and honour, to show that they respected their dead and their goodbyes to those they held dearest were held in high regard. His heart pounded hard against his chest plates. He wasn't excited, far from it, but he was normally a very calm person to be around and this was almost too much for him to bear. He wasn't used to such an un-easy feeling.

He opened the King's email first, for he felt it was most important. In the time it took him to pick the data pad up and open the King's email, he also received one from his father.

"Not now, dad."

To the esteemed and well-respected, Garrus Vakarian,

It is an honour to be able to speak to you personally, though I wish it was under better circumstances. With that said, I would like to wish you my sincere condolences for your loss. I take no pleasure in meeting you like this, however, I must say that I – and the rest of the Turian people – owe your Commander and her crew an apology and thanks. I and the rest of my family would like to be our people's representatives at this service you're holding for your Commander, though I believe my people's appearance will already be great in number.

It would be an honour and a privilege to be there. Although the choice is yours, Vakarian, this request is one I ask of my own accord and will not hold your decision against you if you wish to decline.

Though I must make a request, if I may? Invite the Council. All four of them. I would like to watch them apologise. Say that King Vendrick himself has requested they be there. Hold back the reason if you wish to.

This is an honour, Vakarian, may the Spirits guide you away from your grief.

King Vendrick,
until the Spirits take me

With respect and gratitude, he replied with his thanks and accepted the King's request, also saying he would update him about the Council as soon as he knew anymore. Satisfied, he sent the email, after reading it a few more times… just in case.

Garrus couldn't help but feel a swell of relief. When he had heard the King before, he understandably sounded hurt and ill-tempered. He knew it was only an email and maybe the King was as grief-ridden about his own personal losses as he was over his… Even so, the man sounded civil enough and was respectful with his words that Garrus admittedly let his guard down at that moment.

And although the Hierarchy itself was a mess, with the survival of the King and some of his family, things were starting to get back on track quicker than they would have if the whole Royal family had been lost. But Vendrick had suffered his own losses… He had lost his wife and his youngest daughter in the war. He couldn't help but feel for the man. In one way, at least, he knew how it felt and if the King was anything like him…

It was a shame, he had heard good things about them both… Shepard would have loved to meet them.

They would have loved to meet her, too…

He opened his father's message then, trying to stop the thoughts from feeding off his pain.

Son,

I know this is a hard time for you, but may we talk? I understand if you're not up to it – though I must say, I think you're doing a great job under the circumstances. I'm proud of you…

Just call me if you need to.

Your Father.

He didn't know what to say. All these years he hadn't heard a supportive word out of any of them, particularly when it came to his father and now the very man he believed didn't love him enough to ever say the words he had always wanted to hear says the very thing he probably needed the most.

He replied, a little too quickly, but he felt a little happiness that he hadn't felt in years when it came to his family.

Is that your way of telling me you love me? About time!

Regardless, Dad, I appreciate it.

Sure, we can talk… I'm in the chapel.

-G

He then proceeded to open the reply from the Council's assistant. He wasn't expecting much but he had to know at some point. Why would they refuse a King?

But it wasn't from the Council's assistant at all; it was from Councillor Sparatus. Garrus then thought he should probably stop jumping to conclusions, although he was still sceptical.

Vakarian,

May I first apologise for your loss. I truly believe now that if we–the Council–took more steps to act on your Commander's beliefs beforehand, then maybe more would have been prepared and different circumstances would mean she would still be alive…

For that I am sorry, and for that, and not due to the King's request, is why I accept your invitation. Although it is an honour to be personally invited by the King of Palaven… However, I do not believe my presence will be received well, considering our history with the commander, but I do want to acknowledge that I owe you and the commander a great deal, including my life. So like I said, it will be my privilege to attend.

Unfortunately it will be only I and the Human Councillor attending. She did not have the time to reply personally, for she too is in mourning, as we all are, but said she would be attending with me on the day, for my wife is too sick to travel… I am sorry to tell you that the other Councillors are "too busy;" however, I will let them know of the King's request and will inform you as soon as I have a response from them. Maybe the King himself will be enough to change their minds.

I hope so, for your sake, and may the Spirits bless you and Shepard for all you've done!

Be forever in Palaven's light, my friend,
Councillor Sparatus

"Spirits. Thank you…"

"Garrus." He looked up in response to the voice that he knew instantly was his father.

"Dad." He put the pad down and then approached the older Turian, holding a supportive arm out to him. His father accepted, holding on tightly to his son's arm. Grateful, he thanked his son. Tidus was getting uneasy on his feet in his old age and despite their distance, Garrus knew his father well enough…

Garrus nodded. He didn't mind helping his father. If only he knew how glad he was to have his father around. Especially now, with all that was going on…

"Dad, do you want to sit down? There's a chair right here, I don't mind, really." Garrus stopped, for his father nodded at his suggestion. The older Turian sat, breathing a sigh of relief at the sudden release of strain from his aging leg plates. Garrus then got a chair of his own and sat next to his father, but only after picking up the once discarded pad from the desk.

"Son. I, ah, I needed to talk to you. I just could never find the right time…" Garrus was certainly curious but held the urge to rush his father in any way. "It's about your sister."

"What about her?" He hadn't spoken to his sister for a long time now. His last conversation consisted of a blunt exchange of emails about their mother. She had tragically passed away just before the Reaper War. Yet in a way he was glad, for he never wanted her to see such a thing in her final days. He knew after their reunion that his father felt the same on the matter, but never spoke a word for Solana could not stand it that they both believed such a thing!

Regardless, there was nothing they could do about it. So life just carried on…

At this point, Garrus watched his father closely, trying to guess at a hint about what he was going to say. But his father was unreadable.

"She's"— he stopped.

"…What, she's what?"

"I didn't want to tell you until all this was over… but I wanted you to hear it from me. Recent talks have made waiting impossible however." His father sounded disheartened.

After a moment's silence, he couldn't help but feel he could guess. "She dead, isn't she?" His father looked at him with a surprised look, almost disbelieving. Not wanting to admit it… but nodded soon after. Garrus just went numb. With anger… regret, shame…

Spirits, he couldn't tell. He just felt sick. Standing a little too quickly then, he almost fell. He then realised he couldn't see, and fell to his knees. Shaking… Tidus got up and knelt by his son, but after getting no response, Garrus's father pulled him close for the first time in - Spirits know how long. Then he simply held his son, trying his best to comfort him. Tidus knew he had been a strict father, maybe more so than he should have been, but that didn't mean he loved his children any less and he knew Garrus had lost a lot… a hug wouldn't take much and it was the only way he knew how to tell his son that he was here, when he needed him most. For Tidus knew exactly what Garrus was going through, but Tidus, even with all his experience and guidance, didn't know what to say. There was nothing he could say that would help. But he attempted to apologise. He didn't know what for really. Was it for not being there, not really being a father, not guiding his son down a simpler path?

"I'm so sorry. I know I haven't been there… and I regret that, but I'm here now." Garrus just nodded into his father's chest.

He could feel how tense Garrus was, but the younger Turian still shook, even in his father's embrace, but Tidus just held him, and didn't say a word after that. Garrus held his father as tight as he could in return, having wanted this sort of comfort for so long now. If he could cry he most certainly would have let the tears fall. But he couldn't, he just made a choking sound instead. His breathing was gaining pace and his heart pounded so hard he could barely hear his father hushing tones in his grief-ridden state.

"The reports said Sidonis saved you!" Garrus gasped, trying so hard to deny it, for as long as he could.

"He did… she died from her injuries soon after." Garrus couldn't respond. He just couldn't find the words. He just felt so much pain, for he had lost so much in so little time.

…First his mother, then Shepard, and now his sister? He almost couldn't stand it anymore. He just wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and be with her again. His beautiful Jane.

"Son?" Tidus tried to move. After almost a full fifteen minutes his legs had become stiff. There wasn't time for this; they had much to do before the funeral, it was only two days away. But he soon realised that his son had fallen asleep.

As a child, Garrus would always do this, in an attempt to gain as much of his father's affection as he could. Tidus didn't blame him, he had hardly been a loving and caring father, but this now? Tidus assumed it was out of grief. Garrus was completely and utterly drained.

You must be so tired… but I've got to wake you.

"Garrus," he shook his son this time, but unlike every other time, Garrus didn't wake up. Tidus sighed. He no longer had the heart to try. Instead, he lit up his omnitool, opened the comm and asked for the guard outside of the chapel to join them.

Tidus had a very high position in the Hierarchy. He was one of the head advisor of Primarch Fedorian, before he died. The old Primarch may have been long dead, but that didn't mean the Hierarchy let Tidus walk about without protection. He had refused at first, knowing full well that his C-Sec training was enough for him and he could handle most things alone. But that didn't make any difference. They assigned a young Turian guard to him. A little too young and a little too inexperienced to make their previous argument on the issue valid. But never-the-less, as soon as Tidus had hung up, the boy was there to help. He would give the boy credit where it was due; Xen was a good boy and would do just fine with time and the training required of him.

"Sir Vakarian, are you alright?" Xen approached, trying his hardest not to separate his mandibles at the sight. He didn't think it was funny, it was just nice to see. But smiling might give his superior the wrong idea and the young guard didn't want something like that on his review. "Shall I move him?"

Tidus nodded, "Try not to wake him though." Xen acknowledged the order.

Wearing high-grade Turian military armour, Xen found it easy to move Garrus ever so slightly so Tidus could get up, without waking him.

"There's a bed in the other room, next to the stairway. Let him rest there for a while." Tidus knelt down and shook his son awake, Garrus groaned as he awoke, confused and so tired. "Garrus, follow Xen, he'll take you somewhere where you can rest properly." Garrus hummed in response as he got up. He was so dizzy, he just wanted to get there as quickly as possible.

"I'll get him some water." Xen supported Garrus's body, to stop him from falling forward. Tidus nodded.

"I'm going to run some errands for tomorrow, while you rest; don't forget the Normandy crew is coming a day early." Tidus placed a firm hand on his son's shoulder, as a small way of comfort. "So get as much rest as you can, and I'll see you later."

Garrus nodded slowly in response, while walking in the direction of the spare bedroom. He didn't even look back.

"…Thanks, dad."

Warm hands touched him, and with sweet lips, she said his name…

"Garrus… Garrus, wake up!" He shot awake, sweat pouring from his plates. As he cleared his throat, and his eyes got used to the darkness, he instinctively placed a hand on the side Shepard had once slept. However, instead of finding an empty sheet cover, he felt something… familiar under his hand. He froze, without even realising it, he held his breathe. Trying his best not to make a sound or any other sudden movements.

He couldn't remember what had woke him now. He just switched the light on at the side of his bed and looked at where Shepard had once lied. There was no emptiness however. There she was. Sitting right next to him.

He couldn't breathe. More out of shock than choice. He couldn't move. He hesitated, refusing at first to believe this was real. But there she was. Smiling at him, with that beautiful, calm smile.

"—Jane." His voice choked as he still hesitated. "…it can't be…" He reached out his hand towards her.

Was this real? He couldn't remember falling asleep.

Nothing moved, expected his hand as it placed itself gently onto her cheek, which she simply leaned into it. Smiling, as she closed her eyes and breathed with comfort. Trapped there, he began to think that maybe everything he had lost had all just been a bad dream… or it could be something to do with the Reapers? They may have been destroyed, but that didn't mean people didn't still suffer from their effects. A nagging feeling touched the back of his mind then. The thought was very much a valid one

But that didn't really matter. She was here with him, and that's all he cared about. She simply made him feel safe. Made him forget about all his worries. His pain.

"I thought you were dead… It was such an empty galaxy without you!" He tried to laugh, but it caught in his throat. Pulling her close now, she rested against his chest. He could tell she was listening to his beating heart… She always had done before.

His heart was pounding, and there was this dull ache, like it was bruised. Garrus found himself wondering if she could feel it.

"Oh, Garrus. I'm so sorry."

"Hmm, why's that, my love?"

"You need to wake up, sweetheart. I'm so sorry." He felt her pull away. Garrus opened his eyes then, and she was… gone.

His heart began to race. "No, no, no… Jane? Jane!"

"Garrus!"

"Jane!" He bolted up right. Eyes wide. Rapid breaths. Heart pounding. Realizing only then that it hadn't been real. He choked her name out, but it felt stuck. Almost impossible to say, like he had never heard of her name. "Jane…" His voice become an echo, as he realised it was only a dream. Looking where she once laid again… it was empty, tidy… like she'd had never been there…

As his vision cleared, and he looked back, he then noticed his father was now sat next to him. His eyes were soft with sympathy. But also showed a strength that Garrus wished he had right now.

"She was here… I swear." Garrus simply felt broken and confused. He felt like his heart had been broken once again. "She was there!" He now sobbed and held himself close. Broken, no longer the Turian that he once was…

"Garrus…" His father was calm. Pulling his son close, he left him be. "It was just a dream… a horrible dream."

What's the expression human's use? "Let it all out."

Tidus let him do just that.