Chapter 2

Memory can be a fragile thing. Sometimes things get lost. It's nothing wrong with the person since the brain processes hundreds of thousands of signals and sensory outputs at a time. It takes time to make sense of everything. Memory could be a weakness in that it can be used against you but it also can be incredibly potent. Memory can ground and stabilize you. In hostage rescue situations, it can be used to identify friend and foe. But when memory is used to make you question everything you know, you know that you are in a game that is more deadly than cat and mouse. Especially if you're playing with yourself.

Angela shot her eyes open and took a gasping breath as the air rushed into her lungs. It felt like it did when she woke up after Joshua sent her back when she had been killed by Walt and his buddy Roy with a shotgun blast to the back. Of course that was much like the other times she came back after dying. The sudden rush of air into the lungs was like coughing out a breathing tube. At least she didn't have the side effects of that like a sore throat. She looked around and found that she was in some room. Sitting up, she looked around and realized that it was her old room at the Alchemist compound.

Sliding off the bed, it was evident that there was no trace of Mac, Tsura or Adam. It had her senses go on high alert that this was something she got herself into after that last engagement. It was like the Altay campaign all over again but they had guns. She didn't remember getting injected with anything that would cause her to pass out. She did remember her injuries from that fight and then…

"Ah you're awake."

Angela spun on her heel to see one of the last few people she expected to see. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise but she kept her calm and replied, "Technically I'm awake here but where my body is…" She gave a slight shrug before sobering. "What are you doing here, Morpheus? How are you here?"

Morpheus, the god of dreams, looked at Angela with a bemused smile. He had always liked that she was straight to the point and never wasted a moment on something like panicking. If she ever did do that, she did it when he wasn't around. She was always the one that was focused. He teased her slightly, "Well… you know how I can exist."

"No games please and to top it off I am not even sure you're you," Angela replied with a slight eye roll. She gestured at the god of dreams as she paced around, taking in the environment.

"I am me. If there is one thing that little bratty child of an angel can't do is kill or imitate me. No one but the god of dreams knows the power he wields."

Angels shifted to look at the god. A wry expression crossed her face as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Please don't tell me you're going into that whole explanation designed to impress your temple priests. I don't care for it."

"I know, which is why I said it," Morpheus replied as he held his hands behind his back. He stood there pointedly. "I had a feeling that things would be difficult to distinguish in this place. Well the place where your body is…"

"I get the point," Angela replied in a gentle but exasperated tone. She looked at the god of dreams and asked, "So why now?"

"Things take time," Morpheus offered with a shrug. He took in the look he was getting and was rather amused by it. He continued as if the look wasn't a bother, which is wasn't, "And because a certain Winchester wants to know if you are all right."

Angela blinked at that. "Which one?"

"The one you call big brother."

Angela blinked at that and was rather shocked. It then turned to concern since… "If he made a deal, not happening," she retorted making a slicing gesture with her hand. "No deals."

"And you really aren't in a position to say otherwise if that were the case, which it isn't." Morpheus returned the look with a hard one of his own. He could be pretty scary in front of lesser mortals when he was angry. Not that he scared her. She was not easily intimidated by him or any of the gods that she did stand up to.

Angela stood there looking back at the god, not backing down. She wasn't intimidated by him or any god. They didn't really make her afraid with their boasting of power. She was respectful though since they knew their own power and the realms they had control over. They could make your life a living hell if they chose to and it was perfectly within their province. She just wasn't sure about the presence of Morpheus since she considered the very real possibility that this was a trick by Lucifer to get her guard down.

"That bratty angel couldn't make a convincing replica of me."

Angela looked at the god. She knew now that it was Morpheus since the god of dreams had the ability to sort of read the mind and help create the dream realm for the individual… or the nightmares. She took in the smirk that he liked to give her when he was teasing her. She didn't smile but she nodded and acknowledged, "And you have me convinced. So… what gives for this visit?"

Morpheus looked at Angela with a look of curiosity as he replied, "Well… you."

"Me?" Angela raised her brow at that. "Why? And a better question is how is it that you are able to reach me here in hell? The lines are pretty…"

"Even the damned must sleep," Morpheus offered. He gave a slight shrug as he sobered. "I admit that I have been monitoring you since I noticed a change. I will say that congratulations are in order. Always knew that you and Sam would get together."

Angela made a slight face at that. "Yeah, you and almost everyone else." She gave a slight smile at that since the gods could do what they want in terms of finding out things. "But it still doesn't answer the question of why."

Morpheus knew she would be persistent with her line of questioning. It was who she was. Sighing he replied, "I sensed what happened and waited for you to appear. Do you recall what last happened?"

Angela sensed that there was something more to this and it caused concern with the god of dreams. If he was that concerned, then it was serious. She looked at him and replied, "We had just finished another fight from the past. My time in Altay with Mac. Not the best of times like a few others." She looked at the god and added, "I was going to check on Adam and then a… white hot pain… like when Gabriel… But it was through my whole body and in particular my spine. Then I wake up here." She frowned at the god of dreams and shifted slightly, "What…"

"It's feedback," Morpheus replied. He could don the mysterious cloak thing but he felt it was better to do the straightforward thing. It was out of respect for her and she appreciated it more than most beings knew.

"Feedback?" Angela frowned at that. She was familiar with the concept but she was failing to grasp how it applied to her. "There aren't any bonds that could do that. Cas is topside and Gabe is gone. Kess is doing… whatever he is doing. So…?" She raised her brow in query since it wasn't making any sense to her.

Morpheus knew the explanation was going to take longer than a straightforward answer and it was a complicated one. He just had to see how much she already knew. He peered at her and prayed that she wouldn't get into a huff over it. "What do you know about bonds? Any kind?" He crossed his arms over his chest and pursed his lips as he studied her.

Angela knew this was going somewhere so she decided to play along. She frowned slightly and gave what she knew, "The most common are the guardian-charge bond but there are cases of imprint bonds. Wilder pups do that with hunters and baby gods…" She cleared her throat at that since it caused her to remember Hibah. "Baby gods can do that if it occurs within the first few days after birth. Bonds in general are deeply ingrained and when broken due to death or removal can be pretty painful." She looked at Morpheus and added, "And it feels like white hot pain."

Morpheus watched as the emotions flitted across her face. He knew about Hibah since that girl was now off doing her own thing as a god. He preferred to keep her angel half a secret and since she was now a full god, she was more or less safe since she had been allowed to live past childhood. He knew that Angela had gone through a lot of pain and he really wasn't looking forward to explaining that what she was going through was a result of what he was asking her. He replied, "It's different for everyone but for the most part you understand it. So you know the benefits of say a guardian-charge bond right?"

Angela huffed a little at the question and replied, "The most obvious is that the guardian is able to sense when the charge is in danger. Works really well if the guardian is an angel since they can zip here and there. Certainly worked with Cas." She shifted and looked away as she thought about Castiel and his charging to her rescue even when she had the situation in hand. "Gabe was just as good too. And I remember feeling Kess when he was hurt." She frowned at that since she didn't remember much of anything when she was shrunk.

"And there is the feedback concept," Morpheus pointed out. He waited until she was looking at him before continuing, "You were able to feel what your Avian guard was feeling when he was hurt."

"And according to Bobby, that was because I was too small. It was when a regression spell turned me into a four year old and the only thing I remember of nearly three months are the feeling of security, love and family. Not a whole lot. I do remember pain from Kess but that was fleeting."

"And that was because you had people who made sure that you didn't feel it anymore." Morpheus pointed at her necklace. "But what you experienced is called feedback."

"And you think this is what this is?" Angela gestured all around her.

"You did just say that the last thing you remembered was a piercing hot pain."

"Yeah and it was similar to when I first died." Angela looked at Morpheus, still not quite getting what he was hinting at. "I remember and still have a reminder." She absently reached behind her and touched where she knew the scar was.

"And that is my point." Morpheus stood there looking at her. "You have a connection with someone. Someone…"

All of a sudden, Morpheus was sent flying backwards with something that looked like electricity and he collided with the wall. The movement had Angela jump since she had never seen anyone that was ballsy enough to take on the god of dreams especially in his realm. She blinked at the stunned god who was looking like he didn't know what happened.

"Now, now, now, don't go spoiling all the fun, Morpheus."

Angela felt her eyes widen as she turned around to face… She narrowed her eyes and murmured, "Azazel." She then shook her head slightly. "But you are dead. I saw it."

Azazel grinned at her, "And how certain are you, my pretty? After all, you are the one that knows best how fragile the mind can be." He took a couple of steps forward. "You used to use the mind games and torture my underlings."

Angela stood there. Her fists balled up and then released. She knew that she couldn't attack in anger. Even if it was the dream realm, things were very real. You could kill someone in the dream realm and thus end up killing them in the waking world. The same concept was used by astral projectors in that they killed their enemies by killing their spirits. It only worked if the person was particularly strong in the ability. Most weren't and the dream ended up being a nightmare and the person sleeping woke up.

Azazel grinned as he took a step closer to her. "I see it. You're wondering how real this is. Am I real? Or is this Lucifer playing with you? Or maybe it's how you remember me? Funny thing how the mind goes."

"I know you're not real. Dean used the Colt to kill you," Angela replied as she crossed her arms over her chest. "There are only five things in the world that gun can't kill and you're not one of them."

"You know your lore. Very good. And rightfully you should." Azazel paced towards a window in the room. "And you should know more. It's what you were made for."

"Aannndd that's what everyone says."

Azazel laughed at that, "Oh but it's true. And the thing is…" He turned to look at her. "Is that you don't know it and it's right in front of you." He gestured at the god and added, "Of course you knew that Morpheus and for a long time."

Morpheus sat up and slowly got to his feet grimacing. He replied, "Yes, I knew. And so did many of the others like me. We know the mortals that travel the earth and we have the ability to seek out those that are different from the general pool." He glanced at Angela before looking at the demon. "And in the end what attracts us is the person's heart."

Azazel couldn't help but laugh at that, "Even if you risk changing things by spilling the beans? Like what you were going to tell her?"

"She needs to know."

Azazel shook his head, "Oh no. You are not going to take away the fun the boss is having." He looked at Angela grinning and pointed at her, "And it is all on you my pretty. Your worst nightmare is going to play out right here and even the god of dreams can't stop this."

Sam cracked open his eyes slightly and found that he was on the ground and it felt cold. He felt it go up his spine and it sent pain wracking shivers throughout his body. He lifted his head and slowly looked around. He had to blink when he realized that he was alone.

The place looked like what Lucifer and Michael had been torturing him in. It had the dungeon like quality and he could see his blood smeared on the walls from previous beatings and the like. He saw the cot that he had laid down on when he managed to get onto when he had a particularly rough session with Lucifer. It was all there but it was empty and that was more terrifying than the beatings.

Slowly he got to his feet and wrapped his arms around his body to rub the sore spots on his body. He pressed on the particularly sore spot on his neck and he winced. At that moment a sharp pain shot through his body and he shut his eyes. He saw flashes of what looked like…

You won't win this Sammy.

She was walking until she doubled over in pain, clutching her neck. She screamed in pain. The scene then shifted to her being tortured by Alistair.

No!

Sam winced as he felt what looked like a blade insert into his side. He remembered that when he detoxed but that was nothing compared to this. It felt like the real thing and he had that happen. He looked at his arms and the slashes made by the ghouls slowly appeared and the blood started to leak through. It was sickening and grotesque and he stuttered, "No."

The blood kept leaking through and there seemed to be no end. It sent Sam into a panic as he looked for something to staunch the bleeding. He tore the cot bedding and took the material and tightened it around his forearms. It stung but it didn't do much good. The blood kept coming through and he knew that he was in danger of dying if it didn't stop. He tried to control his breathing as the blood kept flowing and raised his arms up to slow it.

He started growing faint as his arms lowered. He almost fell forward when he was caught and he landed on something that gave an 'omph' followed by, "You always were the lighter of you and your brother as deadweight."

Hearing that voice had Sam open his eyes. He found that his head was resting on his companion's chest and one he was pretty familiar with. He turned to find himself looking down at… "Angie?"

She smiled up at him and replied, "I'm her but not completely her."

Sam frowned a bit as he vaguely remembered the conversation that he had during his recuperation from a torture session. He looked down at her and ventured, "You're the part of her that is mine."

"You remembered. Now can you let me up?"

Sam realized he was still on top of her and got to his feet. He held out his hand to help her up. The moment their hands touched, another flash went through his mind. It was when he started making out with her when they had the twins to look after. He remembered how he kept sniffing her neck and… He shook his head and it shifted to seeing himself choking the life out of her. He could see his double's eyes cold and dead.

"Sam?"

The hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present and he shuddered. He looked to see her looking concerned. He was quick to reassure her, "I'm okay. I think." He looked at his forearms and found the slashes were gone. There was dried blood from previous injuries but nothing else was there. He looked at his companion and then at his arms.

"It's not my doing," she said.

Sam looked at her and then all around. He then raised a brow, "Lucifer?"

"Probably. He's the only one that really understands why you're here."

"Here?"

"You're still in hell Sam. Just… not there."

Sam studied the Angela in front of him. He still wasn't getting how it was possible that she was there and yet not there but he was willing to go with it even if he didn't understand what it meant that this was the part of her that was his. It sounded way too weird for him and yet… "So what, I'm dreaming?"

"Could be that," Angela, it was better to think that, replied with a shrug. She looked at him and asked, "What do you last remember?"

Sam stood there and thought about it. At that moment it came to him in flashes and he winced as he recalled both Michael and Lucifer going at him and hard. Michael nearly broke a couple of bones and Lucifer… he remembered the devil giving him a blow to the side and then… He looked at Angela and said, "Lucifer hit me on the neck. Hard. And there was white hot pain… Like when…"

"Like when you first died."

Sam looked at her, "Yeah. How…"

"Because the same happened to me."

Sam frowned a bit at that. He wasn't sure at what she was getting at. He accepted that she was the part of her that was his but he figured it was more of a figure of speech. Like it was a memory of her that he had kept locked away even though she sort of implied that it wasn't the case. Now he was saying that the same thing happened to her?

Angela looked at Sam with a sad smile and explained, "It's called a feedback, Sam."

That got his attention. He remembered Lucifer mentioning it. "Feedback?"

"You are familiar with the concept."

"Yeah in an electrical sense," Sam replied with a slight frown. He was not sure where this was going but there was the nagging feeling that it has something to do with her and that didn't sit right. He was loathe to do anything to hurt her.

"Same principle but on a different level," she replied with an approving nod.

"Okay. Then…"

"You know that Cas and Gabe were my guardian angels," she continued, interrupting him. "And you remember what happened when Gabe died."

How could he not? He had watched as Angela cried out in pain and the pulse that followed was like getting stuck in the shockwave of a bomb. There had been some talk on the radio after that since it seemed to interfere with a lot of other things at that time. He just never mentioned it to her since she was already feeling low about Gabriel dying. It became clear what she was implying and his eyes opened wide in shock, "Wait. I did this to you?"

Sam started to panic. It was the last thing he wanted to do to her. He swore never to hurt her again. Now it was looking like he had and he was half ready to go on a rampage against something, anything and half ready to look for the real Angela and make sure she was okay.

The Angela standing in front of him raised her arms to try and placate him, "Sam, it's not your fault. It's a bond thing."

"What?"

Satisfied that she had his attention, Angela took a breath and hoped he would understand her explanation. "It's a bond thing," she repeated, "You know like what Cas and me have. Kess?" She moved her head trying to see if he was catching on.

Sam furrowed his brow a little at that. It sounded crazy and he tried to make sense of it, "But that is a guardian thing. I mean I've only seen it when Kess or Cas have sensed something was wrong and you were in trouble."

"That's part of it."

"But how…" That was where it was lost on Sam. He knew he wasn't like an angel or an Avian. So he didn't get how that could be. Unless it was the very vague idea of his being named a champion that got him in that position but that didn't even sound right in his head. That was years ago and the question would have been why it hadn't kicked in earlier.

Angela looked at Sam and replied, "Like I told you. It was only recently." She became quiet and shifted to reveal the left side of her neck.

Sam watched her and then another spasm occurred and he shut his eyes as he remembered Lucifer doing all sorts of things to him but at the same time saying one thing. That he knew what they had done and he recalled the last time when he saw the real Angela holding her arm in pain and… He hissed from the sting in his neck and then opened his eyes to look at her. "That?"

Angela stood there looking at Sam. It would be a lot to take but she had confidence he would get it. She nodded, "That would be it."

A/N: Looks like Sam and Angie are getting a lesson as to what exactly their relationship means. Stay tuned for next time on Over the Edge...