Heya :D I think it's time for me to confess to you guys that I've never ever finished a story before. I honestly don't know - can't calculate an exact amount of chapters to come. I'd say 20 more. I've a load of ideas and things to add but I'm having trouble organizing them :/ 'tis why I never finishe a story, but I'm gonna try and finish this without rushing things.

ENJOY!

FOURTY

I officially announced this morning the best morning ever when I opened my eyes and saw Marco's face, sleeping peacefully beside me. I placed my hand over his cheek and started caressing it, his skin soft and nice under my rugged fingers. I moved closer to him until our foreheads touched. I closed my eyes and recapped yesterday's event. We had a blast watching movies and playing videogames. We also made out. It was inevitable. I knew we'd do it since the moment I laid down with him. To conclude, I had the best night ever: no depressing thoughts, no loneliness, no nightmares and no accidents. I slept like a rock -yeah, in the floor- like never before and I felt… at peace, something I haven't felt recently with all I've been going through.

I was too distracted thinking about yesterday that I didn't notice Marco shift beside me. I was facing him and I saw how he slowly opened his eyes. I smiled, -"Good morning, sunshine."

Marco yawned and stretched, -"Good morning, sleeping beauty."

I laughed and stamped a soft kiss on his cheek, feeling his warm morning skin, -"Slept well?"- I asked.

Marco chuckled at my kiss, blushing lightly, -"I should be asking you that."

-"Oh yeah I did."- I stretched and sat up, only to slump back down. I stared at my ceiling for a while and then back at Marco.

He sat up and stretched too, -"We should get ready. Mom will be here soon."

I yawned and then groaned, -"Ah, come on, do we have to?"- I said as I pulled Marco back down to me.

He poked my nose, -"Yes, Jean. We have class. We didn't go yesterday, remember?"

I pouted like a little kid. God, I wanted to stay today with him again. I wanted to stay all comfy here with him and lay back for another day. Heck, the whole week. The whole year.

-"If we don't go today, then the next time we do go…"- He began and gestured me continue.

I made a face and gazed away, -"Then there's more material to cover and alas, more writing to do,"- I shivered at the idea of spending a whole day catching up with the classes –which, in another words, meant writing all day. Yuck. I sighed, -"Fine. Let's go."

Marco and I stood up and changed to the school uniform: the usual buttoned shirt and blue jeans along with black boots. I changed in the bathroom, but "accidentally" left the shirt in my bed. After washing my teeth and arrange my hair like usual, I walked out shirtless. Marco was picking up his tooth brush, hair brush and his vanilla perfume, but when he turned to walk over to the bathroom, the halted his steps abruptly. He looked at me –or better yet, my naked abdomen and bit his lip, sealing a smile. He chuckled, his cheeks blushing as he hurried to the bathroom. I smirked and putted on the shirt. I decided to put on the neck tie, but like always, I tied my fingers with it instead.

I was still battling with the neck tie when Marco came out of the bathroom, already dressed up and I didn't even had my shoes on. I groaned.

He had the school's shirt all buttoned up –unfortunately for me- with the sleeves up his elbows and black jeans tucked inside his black and white Converse. He had the neck tie neatly bound. I clicked my tongue.

Marco snorted and rushed to my aid. He stood in front of me and began untying it. He circled and within second, it was all tidy up, -"What would be of you without me?"- He said proud-heartedly, hands on hips.

-"Pft… showoff."- I muttered, making a face. Literally? I'd still be that asshole Jean I was a few months ago. I'd probably be bullying freshmen if it wasn't for Marco. I'd also be a homophobic, considering what I told him during that period. That… among other things.

Marco smiled broadly and gaped his mouth, but I took his chin and pulled him closer to me into a sweet kiss in his lips. He wasn't expecting it, like most of the times, but this time, he answered quickly. I smirked when we broke, watching him blush, -"Showoff."- He said.

We went downstairs and ate sandwiches for breakfast. I glanced at the clock: 7:00. It was still early, -"Wanna watch something on TV?"- I asked Marco.

He nodded, dropping a paper towel stained with cheese into the trash can. He clean his mouth with another one before walking towards me, -"Sure."

We both sat on the couch –well, Mom's couch as I liked to call it. I sighed from deep within me, feeling angsty. Marco, with his sharp eye, quickly noticed and I explained, -"This is Mom's favorite spot. She used to sit here all day watching novels," –My chest tightened, -"I never understood why she loved them so much, I mean, they were boring as fuck,"- A small, thick tear escape my eye, -"I hope I can see her here again… just once. That's… that's all I ask."

Marco shifted closer to me, a hand on my shoulder while the other wiped off the fugitive tear with its thumb, -"You will, Jean. I know it."

I smiled back at him and nodded, -"Thanks…"

I thought we'd watch something like Supernatural or The Walking Dead, but Marco insisted on watching cartoons. My latter mood vanished and was replaced by joy as we laughed at how Tom was always outmatched by Jerry, the mouse. I knew then why Marco insisted on watching this instead of something dark and serious.

When we heard his mom's car honk, we jumped out of the couch, turned off the TV and headed out. Marco had two bags, one with his notebooks and the other with his clothes and stuff he brought to stay with me. My heart ached like a kid's, figuring he wasn't staying tonight. Bummer. I haven't had a night like last's in a while. I mean, I'm a very thoughful asshole -the thoughs were always about something that bugged me during the day, and no matter what I did to distract myself, I couldn't concentrate my mind off of it. Last night however... it was like my mind was clear, completely purified of those corrupting thoughs. And Marco was the one behind it.

We mounted the car and inside, the familiar scent of sweet vanilla entered my nostrils. Marco kissed her mother and sat beside me on the back seats, -"Good morning."- I greeted, feeling a bit awkward here. I wondered if she was going to ask us how we spent the night...

-"How did you spend the night? Slept well?"- And she had to ask, hitting the gas pedal and riding off.

I lifted myself up a bit and looked back at my house, slowly turning smaller and smaller in the distance. I sighed. Man, I didn't want to go to school yet. I sat back down and looked at her trough the mirror, scratching the back of my neck awkwardly, -"Uh... yeah."

-"I'm glad,"- She said, giving me a concerned look, -"How are you feeling?"

A small smile crept up my face as I glazed Marco's hand with mine, still looking at his mom, -"A lot better."

She smiled, -"Hm, and I suppose Marco played a part?"- She asked playfully, but I had a gut feeling she knew the answer to her own question. I then wondered if she knew... anything else.

The small smile twisted into a nervous, crooked one, -"Sort... of."- I discretedly pulled my hand from Marco's.

The ride to school was teemed by awesome Batman soundtrack in Pandora, personally asked by Marco... because I asked him to. He gave me a 'don't be shy and ask her yourself' look, but I gave him the puppy eye and he succumed. We both started pointing out where the soundtrack was from, what movie or game, but I didn't accerted all of them since I haven't been up to date with comic stuff. His mom pointed a few too. I was having a good time, until the school's building came in sight and I shrank in the seat.

-"Come on, Jean,"- Marco laughed, pulling the sleeve of my shirt, -"You're acting like a baby."

Yeah, in front of his mom.

I sighed and dismounted the car, quickly heading towards class. Hanji, again, was late. The rest of the group arrived shortly after, -"Maaan, she's late again."- Connie threw his arms up in exasperation. He was held Sasha's hand afterwards, netting their fingers. I kind of wanted to hold Marco's, but the public suddenly grew on me and I buried my hands in my pocket instead.

-"Don't whine about it, Mr. Potato. Drop the act." -Ymir spat out.

-"I worked my ass off for that homework, you know? She better come,"- He sighed. Great. Homework, I though bitterly. Connie spoke again, to me this time, -"Yo, Jean, how's it been?"

-"Uh... great. Thanks for asking."

He laughed and grinned, eyeing me and Marco with a crooked eyebrow, -"You don't say."

-"What?"- I glared at him suspiciously.

He glanced at Ymir questionly. She shrugged and he spoke again, -"Whole school been talking about you and Freckles."

I arched an eyebrow, -"About...?"

-"About having wings and coming out of closets or something like that,"- I froze in place as he continued, -"It was pretty suspicious considering both of you were absent yesterday."

My mind was reeling, -"W-what a load of crap."- I said, earning a few glares, including Marco's, but his was more... concerned? Confused? Dissapointed? Hurt? I couldn't tell since I wasn't studying him directly. My eyes were on everyone else and the diversed crowds around us.

-"Please, spare us that bullshit."- Ymir said, grinning from ear to ear.

-"Yeah man. Don't lie to us. We know you and Marco have something."- Connie said and gaped his mouth again, but this time, whatever he was going to say, was directed at Marco.

But I interrupted him, -"I said-"

I was also interrupted by a high pitched but also faked squeal, -"Oh my god guys, look who's there!"- I glanced at the direction and spotted a girl, one of my ex's friends actually -forgot her name-, pointing at me. Everyone around her started look at whomever she was pointing. I felt each of their stares as she spoke, -"He finally came out of the closet!"- Immediately, the hall was teeming with laughs.

I gritted my teeth and again attempted to portray a strong and indifferent front, struggling to keep the memory of the yesterday's event at the cafeteria at bay, -"Are you trying to say something? Because all I hear is a nagging buzzing."- I shouted over at her.

She laughed again, -"Why don't you go fly somewhere else. You gay people are so disgusting."

Ouch. That actually hurt, considering I said the same thing to Marco a few months ago. My legs started to wooble in place. I gaped my mouth to speak, but their laughter muffled me. My body started to tremble as familiar memories started to leak out again. I felt like I was drowned in their laughters, their current taking me away and I couldn't swim against them and speak out no matter how hard I tried. I kept hearing them so loud and clear, -"I repel you, gay!"-

-"You're not welcomed here!"

-"Ewww!"

-"Go back to your closet!"

Suddenly, I started seeing dark dots on vision as fear began to well me. I was starting to lose it again. I knew it was a matter of time before I ran off and collapse somewhere like the last time I was in a situation like this. The only difference was that then, it was only a couple and now, it was a crowd, more people joining in. I was outmatched.

Only a familiar touch in my arm snapped me from my trance. I looked back at Marco, who was now gripping my sleeve tighly, gesturing me to get out of here. I was about to do so until Hanji came and disperse the crowd. I quickly urged inside and sat at back of the room. I was surprised to see Marco sitting in front of me, knowing that he preffered to sit over there so he could pay better attention, -"Uhm... you can sit in the front, I don't mind."- I said, resting my head in the desk, cheek on the cold surface and hands dropped, looking through the window.

I heard the chair shriek, -"Jean."

I sighed. I didn't need a mass of words from him to understand what he wanted: for me to face him. Instead, I slightly turned my head upwards, still resting it on the desk, -"Hmm?"

-"Jean, please look at me."- His tone of voice was calm yet full of concern.

I dragged my eyes up reluctantly to meet his.

-"Are you okay?"- He asked. I dunno what I expected, maybe a scold for letting them affect me, contrary to what he said yesterday.

I took a deep breath and began to lift myself, -"Yeah -kind of,"- His dubious look made a snort escape my lips, -"I mean... not so okay."

He slightly touched my hand, aware that I wasn't too eager on showing out affection publicly, -"Please, don't think overmuch about it,"- He was fully aware how pensive I was, how much I dwelled on trifle things. His grip on my hand tightened, -"Remember what I said yesterday. Promise?"

I hesitated for a second, but then nodded slowly.

His disquiet expression didn't dispel, but he forced a small smile on himself and turned around when Hanji started the class.

Despite what I promised Marco, I couldn't get the thoughts and images off my mind. Yet so, what nagged me most was that I didn't even asked him how he was. I leant forward, my face beside his, steadfast on erasing any selfish demeanor in me, -"Uhm... are you okay?"

Marco looked over his shoulder and met my eyes, -"I'm okay. Don't worry."- He said, smiling a bit.

I sat back. Sure enough, he didn't seemed bothered at all nor affected –well, maybe a little, but not as much as it affected me. I envied him. He seemed the weak type at first and yet I've never met someone so strong-willed. I've clearly underestimated him. I, on the other hand, didn't had such volition and instead excelled on physical strength, but what did it mattered if I had such a fragile mental fortitude? Marco was right, I needed to construct it.

Classes, like always, were boring. Marco and I spent most of the time in the library catching up with the material –and avoiding large crowds. We managed to update and give in any assignment that were due today, which weren't so hard. We also received news that Pixis was sick and the model swapped for next Monday.

During the day, my group kept asking me question about Marco and I, but I ignored them and changed the subject. My lack of words on the topic didn't helped much though. Aside from them, Marco and I were mocked whenever we unfortunately but inevitably encountered large groups. Marco just shrugged them off and for me… it wasn't so easy. The gossip had yet to spread, but after this morning's event, I'd say it grew at least an inch. Whoever knew looked at us distaste and started to whisper to other people. It seems someone, most likely my ex with allies, started the "rumor" and it easily and unavoidably spread like butter throughout the school. I wanted to shut them all down, one by one, but Marco insisted it wasn't worth the effort.

At soccer practice, I received a text from Diego: Hola. I hope you haven't forgotten about me because I still haven't forgotten those queries you had. I'll be outside. Meet you there? *1

I looked at the field and started walking discretely towards the school's main entrance. Sure. I wrote back. I then wondered how he got my number; I only remember him giving me his. Maybe he asked someone? I didn't ponder about it much.

When I reached the front door, I spotted him leaning on the wall beside them. He looked up from his phone and saw me, retraining it in his pocket, -"Good grief, can we go somewhere else? Somewhere farther?"- He asked.

I arched an eyebrow warily, -"What for?"

-"I need to take smoke, in less complicated words. Hopefully, you don't mind?"- He ran a hand through his hair, which was less trimmed than last time I met him. I could easily note he's been under pressure.

I shrugged, -"I don't mind."

-"Perfecto." *2

We walked a bit farther from the school building and sat in a bench near a bus stop which had a small trash can beside it. Promptly, Diego dug out a pack of cigarettes and with a lighter, he incinerated it, taking it to his mouth and blew off the smoke. I coughed.

-"Surely, you do mind,"- He said, sitting farther from me, -"It is an unpleasant odor,"- He sighed and looked at me regretably, -"I beg your forgiveness, but this pedazo de mierda is the only thing that... distracts my mind." *3

The first time I met this guy, I though he was all good looks and easy life. Today, however, he looked like, honestly, trash. Like he's having the worst life ever. He didn't had any golden jewelry -like... at all. His hair was an utter mess and he had bags under his eyes -which I guessed he hid under makeup yesterday. Those didn't show up from one night to the other. His shirt was crumbled and outwardly, his neck tie just as mashed and loose, -"Damn, you look like a zombie."- I joked.

He didn't find it funny, -"I feel like a zombie,"- He said, jugging his cigarette in his mouth again, leaning back on the bench and resting both arms in it's peak, -"Well, didn't you had queries for me? Ask away."

I scratched my neck, unsure if to question him in his... state, -"Are you sure? I mean, we can do it another time."

He glared at me, -"Porfavor. I didn't come all this way for you to withdraw," - Did he had to exaggerate? It's not like I was interrogating and torturing him. Then, he spoke again, less harsh, -"I'm... fine." *4

I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged ignorantly. I sighed, -"Whatever. I was going to ask you about Kat,"- At the mention of her name, he grimaced and cursed in spanish, -"I read your request to cast her out. I signed in too."

-"Malnacida,"- He spat out, blowing another cloud of smoke, -"What did that bitch did to you?" *5

I told him the "incident".

-"You too? Figured,"- He said, trashing the cigarette and digging out another one. I noted the topic made him rabid and timorious at the same time, -"She always does that to- ouch!"

While attempting to light the cigarette rapidly, he burned his finger and dropped both the lighter and the cigarette. He cursed aloud in spanish. He was shaking.

I lent down and picked his stuff up, -"Hey, you need to calm down,"- I said, giving him his belongings, -"I'm sorry I brought it up."

He sighed and my words seemed to make him collect himself, -"Ah, don't worry,"- He held the cigarrete between his fingers and threw it back, -"It's not really working today either, huh?" - I was about to apologize again, but he held his hand up and interrupted me, -"I'm okay, really. You need to know something. As I was saying,"- He continued, less timorous and angry, -"She seems to enjoy discrimitaning homosexuals, gays and lesbians alike. She also enjoys gossip, to spread it around, be it false or true until we drop out. Something like what you just told me occurred to me too."

-"So... you're...?"- I wasn't too much into gossip, but I've heard of an 11'th gay grader who fucks his boyfriend in the bathroom 24/7. I couldn't believe it was this guy. By his current state, I didn't doubt it. Kat was crushing him.

-"Yes, I am,"- He said as a matter of fact, like it was totally normal. How could he admit it so openly to someone he barely knew? -"And you're the Jean Kirshtein. You made Frank get expelled,"- A smirk crept up his face, one I haven't seen since we sat here, -"Why didn't you told me sooner? You don't know how greateful I -we are. That guy was the worst of the worst."

If I had even an ounce of the old Jean, I've would've been okay with being famous -or better yet, infamous, given my status among a certain group. Right now? I wasn't so okay with it, but then again, I couldn't do anything about it, -"We?"- I asked.

-"Me and...,"- He paused and bit his lip, -"My Zaaed."- His words seemed to drift away.

I'm guessing that's his boyfriend, but considering the pained expression he had now, I'm guessing they were just friends with benefits. Yet, having that much pain only meant he truly loved him, more than just a friend. Maybe they were having complications which led to his current state. I quickly changed the subject, -"What did Frank did to you?"

He shook his head, -"What didn't he do,"- He began, regaining his compusure, -"Me and Zaaed were both bullied by that bastard, specially Zaaed. He was shy and clever, studied a lot -too much, in my opinion, yet lacked volition. Frank specifically enjoyed to pick on the small ones first so he could reach a weakened higher one. A clever strategy, really."

A profound sigh slipped from deep within me. All that sounded too familiar.

He noted, -"Something similar occured to you?"

-"Yeah..."

-"I'd hate to see that freckled one harmed,"- I glared at him, but he didn't noticed, -"Yet still, you managed to get him expelled. No one has managed to pull that off in years."

-"I didn't expel him, I just punched the shit out of him."- I said bitterly, remembering that day clearly.

-"And you knocked him out. Really, where have you been all this time?"- He asked, his latter depressed mood completely vanishing.

I just shrugged. I've been actually with him all that time, but I wasn't going to say that.

-"At any rate, your actions might have calmed the school for a while, but now it's worse,"- He said and turned to look at me. Worse? But I defeated their ring leader, how can- I interrupted myself. It made perfect sense; when Frank left, his "lackeys" somehow decided to continue what he started with my ex, George and Trevor as their new leaders. They had plenty of reasons to hate me, but they took it on whoever they stumbled upon and apparently homos were top pick this month since , -"We need you."

-"We?"- I asked again.

-"Me, Zaeed and other homosexuals, but just a few, most have... dropped out. It's inevitable. Those who stay is most likely because they can't drop and are looking for ways to stay hidden,"- He spoke, his gaze falling, -"I though you dropped out after what happened, but seeing you here, well... that changes a lot of things. There's still hope."

-"How can I change... things?"- I spoke, feeling like something heavy dropped on me, -"And what hope?"- All this talk sounded... war-ish.

-"Jean,"- He smirked, laughing lowly, -"You've shown us that we can fight back. That there's a chance for us in this school. We need to riot. We need you."

I laughed out loud. Me? Really? Protecting Marco was my sole reason for beating Frank. This all sounded stupid. I've left all that behind. I've locked it away and I had no interest in involving myself again.

Diego glared at me, -"I tried stopping this, beginning with Kat since she's gossip queen. I started the request to cast her out and a few others joined me, but it's been utterly ignored by the principal."

I was tapping my feet on the sidewalk exasperatedly. I was beginning to regret having met him and I had decided right now not to meet the others, -"Look, count me out. I don't want to partake in that mess."

Diego looked hurt, like the slim hope completely vanished, -"Pero-" *6

-"It's every man for himself."- I said bitterly and stood up.

-"Kirshtein!"- He yelled and quickly catched up to me since I stopped when I spotted Marco coming right towards us. Diego leaned closer to me from behind and whispered to my ear: -"Don't do it for us. Do it for him. Think about it."- He nodded at Marco's direction.

He looked over my shoulder and glared at him, gritting my teeth, -"Don't bring him up, bastard."- More than myself, I wanted Marco out of that stuff.

He just laughed and walked away, waving at Marco, -"See you, sweet cheeks. Oh! And control your boyrfriend's tongue when you have the chance."

I snarled at him and quickly regained myself when Marco approached me, -"Jean, why'd you left the field? The team's waiting."

-"Yeah, sorry,"- I said, my eyes following Diego until he dispappeared, -"On my way."- I said and started walking.

Marco walked beside me, -"What's that about? He looked pissed."

I clicked my tongue, -"He's just being a prick."

-"Why'd you meet him here then? And why so far from school?"- He asked questions after questions.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, -"It wasn't so far,"- I said. The least I wanted right now was a discussion with him, so I cupped his cheeks with both my hands, -"Look, talk to you later, okay?"- I gave a sweet pek in his lips.

He chuckled, -"Okay then."

After soccer practice, I spoke to him and told him the reason why I was a bit farther away from school with Diego. He was suspicious at first and I mocked him of being jealous despite the bitterness Diego's name brought on my tongue. I ended up only telling him that the whole thing about casting Kat off was lost, that few people weren't enough. Marco was relieved and when he asked if I was going to meet the others, I told him they dropped off. I wasn't lying to him, but I wasn't telling the whole truth. It was for the best. I wanted Marco as far away from that mess as possible.

Afterwards, Marco's mom arrived and we headed to our respective houses. When I reached my destination: -"Are you sure you're going to be okay...?"- Marco asked me.

I nodded and smiled at him, -"Of course. Trust me. Thanks for everything."- I said, thanking him and his mother.

-"You need us, you call us, got it?"- She said.

-"Roger."- I said, hand on forehead like a soldier's.

I dismounted the car and watched them leave, a deep sigh slipping off of me. Marco... I already miss you.

Inside, my house was exactly as I left it, but it smelled different. I sniffed and the scent of Marco's sweet vanilla took over my nostrils. I smiled and headed up to my room and slumped to bed after a quick bath. It didn't took long enough to lock all that happened today. Sleep rapidly overtook me.

*1: Hello.

*2: Perfecto.

*3: Piece of shit.

*4: Please.

*5: Bastard.

*6: But.

Let me know anything! If it's getting boring, if it's getting too long, etc!