For a moment, we can only stare at each other. Jake doesn't look that different to me, with the exception of the dark circles under his eyes. I guess I just didn't notice them the other night. Jake seems to be waiting for me to give him a cue of where this is going. "Uh, hi." I say softly.

"Hi."

"So Momma gave me your message."

"I was hoping she would." His eyes keep looking me over until they land on the one thing that's drastically different- my hair. "I thought you hated straightening your hair?" That caught me a big off guard.

"Um, yeah I did. But I found I hated my curls more after last summer. They, um, reminded me of you too much."

"Of me?" He says confused.

"You once told me 'I like many things, your curls, the way you like my jokes, your smile; but I love you.' Once I found out that wasn't true, I hated my curls more than the time it took to straighten my hair every day." The memory must be as strong for him as it is for me because he looks as though someone physically hurt him as I explain.

"I never wanted to hurt you." And I want to believe him so badly.

"Then why did you?" I say sharper than I meant for it to come out. "You say you love me and you never wanted to hurt me, but you chose those words, those specific ones that you knew were my worst fears. You knew it would hurt me. I'm here because I need to know why."

"You were so willing to give up your dreams because of me being here and I didn't want you to do that. So I did what I thought I had to." He takes a breath before continuing. "Remember this time last summer when you started to make it clear you were willing to give up Juilliard, your dream school, to stay here in Forks while I led my pack?" I nod. "I couldn't let you do that, so I decided that I wanted- no I needed to make sure that you got your chance, even if it meant taking myself out of the equation. The only reason I used those words though were because I knew nothing else I could say you would even halfway believe. But I know now that it was the dumbest and worst decision I ever made. It's the only thing in my whole life that I regret. If I could make it up to you, or go back and change it I would."

"Jake…" I pause trying to control the tears that were threatening to fall. "I thought you understood why I was willing to put it off or give up Juilliard altogether. I knew I could have asked you to come with me to New York and you would do it in a heartbeat because this imprint would have made you, but you wouldn't have been happy being away from your pack and your family. So I could have said stay here and I'll go there and long distance could have been our thing even though it would have hurt both of us to be so far away from each other. But a few weeks before I was supposed to leave I had a moment when I had an epiphany and here's the thing, I don't know happiness when you're not there. The only happiness I ever wanted was synonymous with you being in my life. Taking yourself out of the equation is taking away any chance of being happy. Being on stage will never compare to not having you in my life. That's why I was going to stay. I was happy here with you." And the first tear betrayed me and fell down my cheek. Jacob's arm pulled me close as he wipes the single tear away.

"I was happy with you here too." His warmth fills me with a completeness that I haven't felt for over a year.

"I-" I try to say something but the idea that I'll have to leave him once this is over stops me from finishing my sentence. Instead my mind fills with the memory of all of my nightmares and hearing his voice rip me apart day after day. "You'll never be perfect, and perfect is what I need… Perfect half… that's what an imprint is… what you'll never be." Jake suddenly sucks in air as if someone has punched him in the gut. I look up at his face before asking, "Jake, what's wrong?!"

"Is that really what you thought?" I look down in horror as I realize my palms had been flat against his chest and he had seen everything that had gone through my mind just then.

"Jake-"

"I've caused you so much pain." I feel his arms start to let go of me. "Nessie- Renesmee, I'm so sorry. I would understand if you can't ever forgive me for what I did."

"Wait, Jake. No! Please! Don't leave again!" His arms are back around me again in an instance.

"Renesmee, I don't want you to hurt." I can see him hurting though with seeing into my months of hell.

"Jake, I didn't want you to see that. I would never hurt you like that-"

"But I caused you all that pain. I can't take back what I said, but if you'll let me I'll spend every minute of every day showing you that you're exactly, perfectly, everything I could ever need. I'll never lie to you like that again Renesmee. If you'll have me that is. But if not then-"

"Stop. Please." His dark eyes meet mine quickly. "I don't want to- I can't be in a world where you're not a part of it." I raise my hand to cup his cheek and for a moment I swear I see him flinch as if I was going to force him to watch more of the past year. But I won't, I can't hurt him like that- I didn't mean to do it the last time. It had only happened from the years of wanting to share every thought with him that my mind automatically allowed him to see my every thought. So I decide to utilize my power, on purpose and for good. I show him all the moments I had ever said or thought that I loved him, both before and after him telling me about imprints. Every feeling of happiness, every hug that filled me with warmth, every kiss we had shared flows from my mind. "That's all I want Jake." I say, my eyes no longer meeting his.

"So then I'll come with you to New York and I can come back here to run the pack if needed, but we can make this work Ne-Renesmee. I promise." I don't say anything for a moment and I'm careful to close off my mind for a moment. The silence though must have thrown him though, as he quickly looks at me and says "Ness, is that not what you want? Say something, please," And with the nickname flowing back, tells me that we can work through this, we can fix this.

"I want us," I say softly.

"Then why the radio silence, just then?"

"You were forcing yourself to not say my nickname- why?"

"Bella mentioned that you told them all to call you by your full name. I thought maybe I've hurt you too many times to say it any more, or maybe I ruined it or something."

"More like it just didn't feel right for anyone but you to call me that, so I went by my full name. But hearing anything but my nickname from you is weird, I guess." So many memories of him flood through my mind but all of them having four words in common- Ness, I love you. His face lights up as he sees them.

"So much. Ness, I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you, but I love you so much, always have and I always will as long as you'll allow me too."

"Forever. I'll love you til forever and forever Jake." I say with the first real smile in over a year and Jake's hand is cupping my face.

"There's the sunshine that's been missing from my life."

"You live in Forks, Washington babe. Pretty sure the sunshine is just hidden behind the rain clouds." The pet name rolls off my tongue without a second thought.

"Nope. There's no sunshine in a world where you're gone." The truth in his eye's tell me that he's telling the truth and with the exception of that one night, he always has been. I feel myself rise ever so slightly on my toes, as easy as going onto pointe, as I lean up to kiss him. The moment our lips meet, my mind knows the truth, home is wherever he is.

Author's Note: Thanks for reading; now just the epilogue left.

Lizzy