Fine Line Between Friendship and Love Chapter 3, a pretty little liars fanfic

CHAPTER 3

Hanna's POV:

"No." she mouthed. "When we were in the powder room, and you and Rachel are pretending to be together. When you hugged her tightly pretending to make me jealous. When Caleb teased you that he'll draw you that dream house you always wanted in trade for a kiss, and I realized…I minded. I resented the idea actually." She professed without any hesitation.

This is the hard thing with Emily. She never let people in. She's so good at acting that sometimes I think she really meant the things she says. And it scared me. Is she serious? What do I tell her if she is? Do I love her back? I haven't really thought of it yet. I didn't take the time to think about it because I thought that it was nothing. That we were just acting.

But what if she is just acting? Still, what do I say? I can't think of any response as of this moment. My mind is spinning. All I could think of was her smile, her eyes, and the sweet things she did for me. My heart is beating so fast that I can't even feel it is beating. She's giving me feelings that I avoid to feel for anyone.

But she just told me that I'm special to her. She didn't tell me that she loves me.

"Hanna?" Emily asked nervously. I haven't realized that she was watching me the whole time. I love hearing her say my name. I don't know why, but when she utters my name I feel like its safe in her mouth.

I cleared my throat as well as my thoughts. I didn't succeed on the last part though. "Can we…talk later? After class?" I was panicking inside my head but I forced a smile, so she wouldn't get the wrong idea or anything. She smiled back, and suddenly it was so easy to smile bigger.

"We're…" she was unsure of what to say. She put the strands of her hair at the back of her right ear.

"Why do you look nervous? We're just going to talk…if that's okay with you." I said trying to make it light.

She smiled as she got the message. We are totally fine.

Emily's POV:

"What's the tension all about?" Santana asked me innocently.

"What?" I asked impeccably.

"You. Hanna. I saw you two. Come on, you can tell me." She pried.

"You know, I should be the one asking your condition. Hanna and I are fine." I'm good at turning things around with Santana. "I'm sure Quinn can handle things, but you…not so sure."

Santana rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. I don't need her." It's so easy for me to tell that she's lying.

"Look, you know that I know you. You're Queen of denial, I know that, but it's me you're talking to here."

"She said she didn't love me back. And she doesn't even miss me. What do you expect from me?" I felt bad for her. But knowing Quinn, I know it's just a misunderstanding.

"Did Quinn really say that she doesn't love you? As far as I remember, she just didn't said that she's in love with you. And I know for sure that she misses you, San. It's just her defense mechanism." I justified.

"I swallowed my pride for her, Emily. I didn't expect her to hug me and kiss me after I confess my love for her, but she could've at least considered my feelings. She freaking told me to forget my feelings for her, like it wasn't a big deal. I was willing to risk everything for her, Em" I know where she's coming from, but I just know that Quinn loves her too.

"She loves you, Santana. We both know she's not good at words. She bid a decent goodbye to you, didn't she?"

"If she loves me as much as I love her, she would've been brave enough to tell me that she loves me too. But she didn't, because I'm just her friend." She said resentfully. It makes me sad how Santana is this sad. I wish I could do something to make it all better.

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." Santana didn't answer to that. She was not the usual hard headed girl. From what I see, it made her think too. And that's great because I really believe that Quinn loves her so much.

Quinn and I don't talk a lot, but when we do, it's something meaningful, or deep.

We have a lot of vacant lately since the semester is about to end. Quinn and I felt like talking, so we decided to go far from our friends, so we can talk privately. I liked talking to Quinn personally, we understand each other easily, and sometimes, in our silence, very much is said.

"I wish you didn't have to leave." I said truthfully.

"But, you know, I have to. This is my dream." She answered immediately.

"Yeah, but will miss you. I'll miss you. And most of all, Santana will."I'm confident to say it because I know she's aware of it. No one ever really confirmed anything to anyone, but I think we're all aware of what's happening.

"I'll miss you guys too. I know it's hard for you but its hard for me too."I never attempted to ask Quinn how she feels, because I know that like me, she doesn't want to talk about thing like it. And I that its appropriate if Santana find it out herself.

"You do know that she'll be miserable if you leave, right?" Quinn is aware that Santana tells me everything.

She just nodded. "But you're here for her. I think that would be enough."

"But you're the reason why she's a better person now. You changed her, Quinn. And if you leave, she might do her bad habits again." I'm really worried that Santana would be lost if ever Quinn really leaves.

"She made promise that she won't." She said confidently. She trusts Santana and it was no secret.

"It's Santana, Quinn. You know how she is." I don't really think I can fill in, Quinn's position. I let Santana do what she wants, and then I'd be there for her at the end. Quinn on the other hand stops her from the things that she thinks isn't good right from the start.

"That's what I want to tell you. I want to ask you to please take care of her." she said to me, but her eyes were directed to Santana. "I'm worried for her too, you know? Don't let her curse/ say bad words. And stop her when she tries to kill people, because sometimes she tells me that she wants to kill people." I smiled at her. "I know it's just a joke, but still…just to be sure." She really sounded like Santana's girlfriend right now.

"I'm not sure if she'd follow me though. She only follows you." I know that's a lie, because Santana does what I advice her often, but it's also true because, Santana does whatever Quinn wants.

"That's not true. I know she obeys you. Don't you even deny it." Quinn said knowingly.

"Not really." I denied.

"If you say so. I'll just tell her to obey you then." This is what I love about Quinn, she's such a genius.

I just nodded while smiling. If only Santana can hear us right now.

"And one more thing; don't tell her about our conversations about her. It might boost her ego." She teased, which caused me to laugh. Santana can really be a bighead sometimes.

"What the heck, San?!" I half yelled, half whispered. I was rummaging her bag because I she asked me to get her phone there, when I saw a lighter in her bag. "What the heck are these for?" I glared at her.

"For lighting things?" Santana answered sharply.

"We're so going to talk after class." I warned her.

I didn't want our other friends to know about my conversation with Santana so right after our teacher dismissed us I grabbed Santana's hand and dragged her out of the room fast.

I dragged her to the girls' comfort room so they wouldn't suspect.

"Wait here." I ordered Santana. I went outside to talk to Rachel first, 'cause I know she'll come up with so much speculations.

"Hey, Rach. Santana and I might be a little late. She's having a hard time with her stomach." I reasoned out.

"Okay. Does she need anything?" she asked concerned.

"Oh, she'll be fine. It just happened that this wasn't her luckiest day." I smiled.

"Oh. Okay then, we'll go?"

"Yeah. We can handle this. Not, literally." I joked. They laughed except…Hanna. I saw how restless she seemed to be. But I tried to neglect it.

"See you later." Spencer and the rest trailed off.

But Hanna was still standing on her previous spot.

"I thought we're going to talk?" Hanna said indifferently.

I bit my lip. I didn't know she was referring to the previous class. "I thought we're going to talk after all our classes." I gave her an apologetic look. I didn't want her to think that I'm avoiding her. "Later, Han. I promise. Don't worry, I won't stood you up."

"I know that, Em. But…" she was looking at the ground. Of course it won't be something good. "Caleb-" that's all she has to say. I know, they always meet up after classes, mostly on Fridays.

"We can always talk next time." I said as casually as I can.

She bit her lip. "But, Emily, I really want to talk to you." She protested.

"And we will. Just not now." I think I uttered that a bit sharply, but I can't help but feel zealous just hearing Caleb's name. "Look, I really need to go now. Santana is waiting for me." I felt guilty to just leave her there, but it's not like she's going to get lost.

Santana's POV:

"Where have you been? I thought I'll grow roots in here." I complained as I see Emily approach me.

"Sorry, I just made sure no one will hear us." She apologized then closed the door.

"What's the big deal?" I started.

"Since when did you start to smoke again?" I can see that Emily is annoyed. I tried to answer but before I can, she talked again. "You promised Quinn, didn't you? Do you really want to die young?" I know she's mad at all, but I think that's she's overreacting.

"So what if I promised her? She's not here, so that promise is void. She wouldn't know if you won't tell her." I said coolly. She promised me to always be at my side before, but she's not here now.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" Emily raised her voice slightly. I swear she's extra annoyed today.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I snapped at her. Okay, so I don't usually talk like that to Emily. I promised Quinn not to say bad words anymore, but I'm really pissed because I don't get a text from her. I mean she said she'll keep in touch but I only get a text from her when I text her first, and when I finally get to text with her, she's always in a rush.

Emily's eyes widened. "What did you just said?"

"What's wrong with you? You're not your usual self. Is this about Hanna?" I know Emily's good at turning things around but so am I. And I really am concerned about her. She always got my back, so I'd help her out with anything too.

"Don't try to change the topic here, Santana." She glared at me.

"So there is something going on with you and Hanna." I confirmed.

She shook her head. "Do you really want to break all the promises you made to Quinn, huh?" she ignored what I just said.

"It's not that." I said calmly. "I thought I'm going get over her, Em. Or at least, I thought nothing's going to change except the physical absence but I'm wrong. I don't get to talk to her anymore; I'm lucky enough to have fifteen minutes of her twenty four hours. And it really disappoints me." I confessed.

This is why I hate being in love. It's horrible. It makes me vulnerable, and it makes me put my walls down and it opened my heart; and Quinn was so rude to get inside it and mess it up.

"Everything's going to be alright." Emily declared. I know. But that doesn't change the fact that it's not alright now.

Emily hugged me. It was the first time that she hugged me really. It's not really our thing, it was Rachel's, Hanna's, Spencer's and Aria's but it was never our thing. Emily and I are never sweet with each other.

"I'm sorry, San. I wish I could make it all better but I know I couldn't. But Santana, rebelling isn't going to bring her back. But if she knew that you stick with your promise; then she'd be happy. I'm sure of that." Emily said caressing my back.

I wasn't crying but Emily knew that I needed that hug. I just miss Quinn, and I love her so much that it hurts.

"Could you do me a favor, Em?" I made an eye contact.

She nodded for me to continue. "You've been like my diary, you know that right?"

"Yeah." She mouthed.

"And you've done so much for me, that I don't know how to pay it. All I can think of is that I want to be a good friend to you. And I don't know how to do that if you don't tell me, just even the little things that are going on in your life."

"Just be there for me. That would be enough." She simply said. "Come on, we're going to be so late if we don't get moving."

Quinn's POV:

I wanted to call Santana right now. I want to hear her voice. I want to hold her, and just be with her somehow. I miss them. I miss her. I miss the way she looks at me. I miss the way that she makes me feel that everything is alright, by just being there. I miss being happy by just sitting beside her while doing absolutely nothing. And I constantly wonder how she's doing.

I told her that we should both move forward. It's going to be like this for four years. And I don't want her to wait for me; I don't think I'd be enough. I don't want her to be stuck waiting for me; she deserves so much better than that.

I'm hoping that she'd find something better in the future. She might meet someone who can make her happy. But at the back of my mind, I wish that she'd never learn to live without me. So when I decided to come back and take her back, she'd accept me.

I need her to help me get through this loneliness but I'm too scared to ask. I told her to move on. I can't call her, because I know that it would be less painful while it lasted. I have to give her space. I feel like I'm torturing us, but I believe that it would be worth it. Someday, she'll thank me that I let her go. Or someday someone will thank me for letting her go.

As for me, I know I can move on. But I'll bring her in my heart. I don't think I'll ever love someone as much as I love her. I'll continue moving forward but I'm going to keep our memories with me. I have to make my choice worth it. I don't want to leave Santana for nothing.

It's ironic how she knows every detail of me, but the thing that I want her to know the most still goes unnoticed; the fact that I love her. I know I'm hurting her, and I deserve this pain, this pain that I feel because she doesn't even know how hard it is for me too.

"Thank you for coming, Santana." I was so grateful that she still came.

"What do you want to talk about?" she said coldly. It pinched my heart. I know that she's still hurt.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." I said looking at her.

"I know." She said disinterested.

I wanted to cry. But I don't think I had the right. "Please don't be like that, San. You're my-"

"I get it okay? I'm your friend. You don't have to remind me all the time." She said resentfully.

"I'll still be here for you, as long as you need me. We'll always keep in touch." I poured out.

"You're all I need, Quinn. Don't you get that? I can't pretend to not love you. I just can't" she practically yelled at me. But I felt bad for her much more. I didn't know what to say. So I looked at the ground. "You're always like that, Quinn. Don't I deserve any response from you? You're leaving and I still get nothing."

"Don't pretend then. Move on, San. You'll get nothing from waiting for me." My tears were now falling freely.

"Why are you crying?" she suddenly softened. I hated myself much more. She's so nice to me.

"Because I hate myself for hurting you." She placed her hands on my face then wiped my tears with her thumbs. I held her hand and she seemed to flinch a bit.

"Then why do you keep on doing it, Q? Don't you really love me?" I saw the hope in her eyes and it broke my heart because I know I wouldn't satisfy her with my answer.

"I love you, Santana. You're important to me. You're my best friend." Suddenly, her eyes were dead again.

But when she spoke, her eyes were full of emotions, "I love you Lucy Quinn Fabray. Not in a friendly way. Although I think we are great friends.You told me many times that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd even consider. But I had to say it, again and again, if I have to. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything that you are. I've never felt this way before and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore that would kill me. So be it. But before you go I have to tell it to you. I hope someday you'll learn to love me too." Then she looked at me, as if I'll melt. I couldn't feel my feet. If only she knew that 'someday' came way past than she expected.

I pressed my lips together. I didn't know how to tap that. "Someday, Santana. But right now, I want you to look forward. I wouldn't tell you what to do. But I want to let you know what I want you to do; be happy. I want you to choose to be happy." I said in my sincerest tone.

I looked at her and she was still staring straight at me. Her face was slowly coming near mine until I can already feel her breathe. I thought she's going to kiss me. I wanted her to kiss me actually. Well, she did. She kissed me in the forehead.

Boringsiot: Sorry if you think I cheated you or something :) But it just looked like a one-shot but it really isn't. So I hope, you're not upset.