Chapter 6

Me and Sam. What have I done?

Angela felt her chest tightened as she led the way. She was still having trouble believing that she and Sam were connected. True she had been able to connect with the telepath thing much easier than she had done with her strays and other people. She even connected with Dean and his major talents was that he was pretty good at staying out of the deep shit that meant dismemberment and death. While he did go to hell and had been iced because of Gabriel at the Mystery Spot… he was a little more than normal hunter. Sam was good too.

I just wanted a relationship and now I've…

She didn't like that she had done something that bound him to an obligation that he may not want. It was one of the few things that she had cursed her heritage on. She felt that he had forced him into something and it was something they both didn't know about but she felt she should have. When she found him… she was going to have to apologize to him. He didn't deserve that.

"You really need to stop blaming yourself for this," Morpheus droned on in a slightly bored tone. "If anything I'd say that even if you did know about it, you jumped into it willingly."

Angela snorted and wheeled around to look at the god of dreams. She narrowed her eyes at him and replied, "It doesn't matter if I did know. The point is that I should have known. And stop with trying to get into my head. It's annoying."

"Please you're projecting. It's written all over your face." Morpheus gave a snort of his own as he followed her. "You may be focused on getting through whatever your mind is conjuring up with a little help from the whiny brat Lucifer, but your thoughts are still on the fact that you feel guilty for something that is now done and said."

Angela huffed at that, "It may be done but Sam had no say in it. I took his choice away."

"Is that what is bothering you? The fact that he may not have been fully informed to make a decision?"

Angela looked away from Morpheus. Yes she did feel that way at the moment. By claiming Sam, she basically took away his choice. His choice to say yes he wanted it or no he wanted to go slow. She closed her eyes as she thought about it some more. She always tried to give people the choice. She didn't tell them what to do especially when their life was on the line. She never asked people to do what she wasn't willing to do herself and she disliked it when she put them in a position when there was no other choice. Here, she felt she had done the same to Sam and she disliked herself for doing that.

"You know, I get the feeling that he won't mind as much," Morpheus dropped in a hinting tone. He gave a slight shrug and muttered, "Considering his dreams are pretty interesting since they involve you. The nightmares though…" He rubbed his head.

"Don't you dare," Angela warned. She held up her finger as she narrowed her eyes at the god of dreams. "Don't try to pique my interest in other people's dreams. That is like peeping Tom creepy."

"You never had qualms about it before."

Angela gritted her teeth and made a slight growl at that. She knew that Morpheus was right in that regard. She had peeked in on other dreams especially when she was trying to find her boys. When she was away the couple of times and especially when they were separated after Wyoming. Even though they weren't talking, well she and Dean weren't, she checked through their dreams to make sure they were okay. She knew she could easily infiltrate Sam's dreams if she wanted to but she didn't. Rather, when she started teaching him the finer points of dream walking, they met in the place she had created and he improved upon when she was little. It was a good place to practice without hurting anyone.

Morpheus smiled slightly at her as she groused. He knew that she was stuck because she was guilty of peeking in on dreams. She could justify it all she wanted but it was still the same thing. It was why they got along so well since that that was how they interacted. "All I'm saying is that you shouldn't worry too much. From what I've seen, Sam has never been happier than when he is with you."

Angela looked at Morpheus and blinked at that. She wasn't sure about making Sam happy but she knew she was happy being with him and living with him and Dean like… family. She looked away and thought about it some more. She still was going to have to explain to Sam when she found him and apologize.

It's okay Angie. Let it happen. You don't have to be afraid with me…

Her pupils widened when she heard Sam's thoughts in her mind. He had spoken those words on their first night together. She remembered feeling… She turned in the direction that she had decided upon and said, "Right. Let's go."

Morpheus watched her with a bored expression as she passed him. He turned to follow. He knew that she was the most stubborn being to come into existence. He knew it would take her awhile to come around though the one with the most influence would be Sam. He would be the one to reassure her. Until then though, she would need to cling to that hope and it looked like she was doing just that since he recognized the fire in her eye.

They continued walking through what appeared to be a set of gardens. Morpheus looked around. They had the look of the sanctuary she had created to send off the staff of Osiris but the feeling was different. It was like there were several gardens in one and it had an almost dark aura or maybe haunted. He kept his guard up but he wouldn't be able to do much. If this was done much like a dreamscape, he couldn't interfere in terms of solving the riddle. He could keep her out of trouble and be a guide but for the most part the rule about dreams is that it is for the dreamer to work out.

Angela glanced around her. The garden was beautiful but it had a dark aura to it. She knew that Dean accused her of being a romantic and girly and to be honest she was very girly. This felt like it was out of those Romantic era horror novels she loved. But… She felt it then and there. It was like those chills you got down the spine. Her teeth gritted as she made a slight sound and looked around.

There was a rustling in the bushes and Angela turned her attention towards it. Her hands clenched into fists, ready to fight it. She almost wanted to moan when out came a little girl giggling. She paused but didn't advance as the girl giggled holding a ball. The girl paused and looked at her and smiled before turning and running towards an empty field.

Angela knew that she shouldn't follow but she couldn't help it. The little girl was her. She started jogging to keep up with Morpheus' protests ringing in her ears. She ignored him and followed the girl, her younger self. She followed until she came to a wide open spot. There was the girl and her back was to her. She paused and looked at the girl and couldn't help but ask, "Are you lost?"

"Yes."

Angela felt the tug at her heartstrings. She had always admitted to Sam and Dean that she was a sucker for kids. She would never hesitate to help them out. Yet she knew that she couldn't be so quick here because this was hell and more than likely Lucifer would try to kill her here. She took a breath and replied but didn't step forward, "What happened?"

"I lost my family," the girl replied sobbing, "And it's all my fault."

Angela watched as the girl started sobbing. She really didn't want to leave the girl like that but she couldn't trust herself with that. It was echoed in agreement when Morpheus stepped up and said, "Seems like the first of the fun is to begin. You know this is a trick."

"Or possibly a few other things," Angela replied with a pensive glance at the god of dreams. She shifted to look at the sobbing girl. "After all it is always my fault I lose what is important to me. It gets taken from me because of who I am."

The girl continued to sob and rub her little fists against her eyes. She was muttering that it was her fault and that she was a bad thing and that she had done bad things. And because of that she lost her papa and then everyone else that became her family. Then she said, "I am a monster."

Angela stiffened when she heard that. How many times had that been attributed to her? More importantly, how many times had she referred to herself as that? More than she could count and it wasn't always out loud. But this was a child. Not taking it anymore, she advanced towards the child despite Morpheus' protests and said, "It is not your fault. You are not a monster." She couldn't help it and touched the little girl and pulled her into a hug.

The girl sobbed into her shoulder as she soothed her, saying that she wasn't a monster. The girl sobbed and then said, "Thank you but…"

The next thing Angela felt was herself being flung aside and hitting a column from one of the archways nearby. She hit it so hard it was a wonder that she hadn't broken it and made it collapse. She then heard, "You are a monster. We are a monster. Everything we touch dies."

Angela grimaced as she got to her feet. She saw the people she had known throughout the centuries standing there. The ones that met a bloody end were alive but had that haunted look of the dead. Their skin was pale and the dried blood was caked on. It was like watching a zombie horror flick or something but all she saw were dead bodies like when she used to walk through the battlefields in the aftermath a long time ago, looking for any survivors.

They stood there looking at her. She could pick out a few that held a special place. Her eyes widened when Hawkins appeared and she gasped when he stared at her with such hatred. That wasn't the end of it. She saw Ellen and Jo looking at her with such anger and they said, "This is your fault. If you hadn't started it…"

"If you didn't exist…" Bobby came forth looking at her with burning hate.

Angela felt her throat convulse as she got to her feet. It was her fault that Ellen and Jo were dead. Yeah they made the choice but she should have been more insistent. She would have been able to heal Jo and get her out. She felt her body begin to visibly shake as she saw more people including Hassina and her daughter looking at her. The daughter looked at her with that imploring look while Hassina looked at her like she was the most terrible creature in the world as she said, "I wish that demon did do those horrible things to you. You deserve to be raped and cut."

Angela grimaced at that. She knew what Alú had done to those girls. No one deserved that but deep down she knew she deserved punishment. After all her decisions had led people to their deaths. Even if she tried for low to zero body count, someone always paid the price. And getting the laws of the Old Religion involved… that was a whole other ballgame but still had devastating effects with the biggest being a life for a life. Most people thought it was a life debt but when invoking the old ways… it was a bit more literal.

Standing there, looking at her younger self that was starting to look a little bit more like death itself, not the actual horseman, but the ugliness marring the innocence of youth, she took evened breaths but she couldn't help the pensive expression that was on her face. She raised her brow when Dean came into view looking like he did when the hellhound chewed him up. He looked at her full of hatred saying, "You did this. You killed Mom and Dad and you killed me."

Angela opened her mouth slightly when she heard Morpheus whisper, "What do you truly think?"

She knew he was trying to help her out. It was one of those toeing the line when it came to interference with mortals. And it wasn't like she could criticize him anyway since she was guilty herself of toeing the line with the whole balance of the universe thing all that jazz. As it where, it was a means of grounding her as she looked at the images both dead an alive that were looking at her, blaming her. She knew that it was her guilt fueling this and quite possibly Lucifer playing on it.

"You killed her."

Angela looked up from where she was standing to see the one person that had the ability to destroy her. She looked at Sam as he appeared looking like he did when they had their first job together after Chicago. This time though was that look that caused a chill down her spine when she saw that he was hooked on demon blood but his eyes held burning hatred for her. She blinked and couldn't help but voice, "Sam?"

"You killed her. You killed Jess."

Angela felt her throat constrict as she looked at Sam. That conversation was still fresh in her mind where she confessed to being there when Jess had been killed and she had nearly died. "I didn't kill her, Sam. Brady killed her."

"And you just watched."

"And I nearly died."

The verbal abuse continued with the other figures pointing out all the times she allowed someone to die or claiming that she killed them. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. She heard their voices and it pounded in her skull. She shouted at them, "Stop!"

It was thunderous silence that erupted when the figures grew silent. Angela looked at them and saw the looks of hatred looking at her. They were stiff and silent until the clapping started. It was a mocking clap and from around the corner came Azazel grinning at her in a mocking manner. He said, "Very impressive my pretty. Better than when we first met."

Angela narrowed her eyes at him. "You're not real."

"I'm as real as it gets," Azazel replied as he gestured around. "I told you this is where all your worst nightmares will happen. You recognize them." He gestured at the people she had met as he looked at her.

Angela looked at them but focused her attention onto Azazel. She shook her head slightly and looked around saying, "Come out Lucifer. I know you're here."

Azazel chuckled at that, "You really don't get it do you? I'm the only one here." He grinned at her. "You are not escaping me this time." He spotted Morpheus and waved his hand. "And we can't have him interfere."

Angela turned to see Morpheus being surrounded by a barrier that became invisible but the sigils on the ground appeared. It was like a devil's trap but for a god. She looked at Azazel. She could see that it was going to be a fight and Lucifer was really pulling out the stops. She looked up to see Azazel charging at her.

The alleyway was like déjà vu for Sam. He tensed and winced as he recognized the scenery. It had been months since he last had this dream or rather nightmare. He looked around for any sign of Angela since he knew to expect her in one form or another. And this nightmare usually started with her running.

"This is familiar."

Sam shifted to see Angela standing next to him. He gave a slight eye roll since he knew that it wasn't the real one. He wasn't rude though and answered, "It's from… a nightmare."

Angela looked around and nodded in an approving manner, "Ah, the one where something chases me and usually comes to near killing me or actually killing me."

Sam looked at Angela that wasn't Angela and raised his brow. He was not used to her talking like that and it made him feel like he was crazy. "I wish you wouldn't do that. Gets confusing."

Angela looked at him and cocked her head to the side like an inquisitive puppy. She raised her brow and replied, "Only stating the obvious. I am Angela but the…"

"Part that belongs to me," Sam finished, "I know but what does that even mean?"

"Exactly what it means. How you understand it…" She shrugged at that a little, "… depends on you. What you will end up knowing." She shifted to look at him in the eye. "I've told you the basics. It's up to you to remember and work with it."

Sam looked at her. It was how she would give a situation. He sighed and was going to say something when a giggle caught his attention. His eyes widened slightly as he turned and saw her. His breath choked a little as he felt her hand on his shoulder. His own hand instinctively went to cover hers as he stared.

It was Angela but not as he knew her. She was a little girl. Her pigtails were bouncing like happy floppy puppy ears as she ran giggling, playing with a stick with a ribbon tied to it. She was twirling it around as she ran along the dirty streets. It was not the ideal place for a child to be playing and it wasn't like Sam was having much control over his thoughts right now. He wasn't focused enough.

"Such a cutie."

Sam was in agreement in that and gave a silent nod. When she was that size, he thought she was adorable. And it felt like he and Dean and Bobby had been privileged to see her before she became the woman that she was now, the one that he fell in love with and was now in here in hell with him, suffering like him. It made him determined to give her more moments like that when they were together.

The adult Angela shifted her head and smiled pleasantly as she watched the younger version of herself look at her playing. She hummed a little and commented, "Such happy times. More so when they occurred in the now."

Sam didn't hear a word of it as he stepped forward and looked at the little girl. He watched as she played with the stick and ribbon, waving it around and making vibrant curls in the air. It looked like a dance, much like every movement she made whether it was walking or fighting… it was all like an elaborate dance. He was startled though when she turned and spotted him and called out, "Sammy! You're here!"

Up until now, Sam was used to things in the dream state ignoring him when he was actively participating. The normal nightmares were different. Now, he had mini-Angie looking at him with such happiness and running up to him. He couldn't resist getting down on his knees and opening his arms to welcome the hug she tackled him with. It was a wonder that he didn't get poked with the stick but that didn't matter. He felt what he always did when she hugged him like that.

"I love you, Sammy."

Sam's throat convulsed as he replied, "I love you too, Angie."

"I know you do. You always have… once you figured it out."

Sam glanced over at the older version and saw that she was smirking at him in that teasing fashion of hers. He made a slight face but continued to hug the little version. He knew she wasn't real but it felt real enough and it pulled forward all his feelings that he had for her. It also triggered his protective instincts and he knew that they would go on overdrive.

"Will you stay with me, Sammy?"

Sam turned his attention to the little Angela as he heard her question. He held onto her and replied, "Yes."

"Always?"

"Always and forever."

Sam would have said more but they were interrupted by a voice he knew too well, "Now that's a phrase I haven't heard in a long, long time. Did you come up with that one yourself?"

Sam looked up to see Lucifer walking in with a smirk. His throat convulsed as his body tensed up. He held onto small Angela and felt bad that he heard her whimper and mutter to him, asking why the mean man was there. He held onto her as he adjusted his feet. "What do you want, Lucifer?"

"What he has been doing since you've been here, Sam," adult Angela said as she surveyed the scene. Her expression turned firm as she looked at the devil, gauging what he was going to do. "Torturing you."

"And seems like you've got a friend. I thought so."

Sam narrowed his gaze at the devil as he stood up. He realized that the little version of Angela was still clutching to him and he held onto her. He put his free hand on her back to reassure her as her whimpers lessened and she shifted to look at what he was looking at. "Don't."

It was all Sam could say since the adult Angela pretty much nailed it. The only reason Lucifer was there was to torture him. They were in hell and he had been at the whims of the devil and Michael for… he had no idea but it felt like years. Yet this was the first time he felt compelled to fight back. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he was holding a hallucination of her when she was small and the one standing next to him… he still wasn't completely sure about it, but that fire he felt when he perceived a threat to her was starting to burn.

In the meantime, Lucifer was looking at him with a bemused expression. Sam couldn't tell if he could see the other Angela, the one that was his. It seemed though that he could just by the way that he was looking at them. All Sam could do was do what he could do to fight back. He probably had zero chance considering the beatings and other things but… he wouldn't give up for her.

"I can tell you're thinking about what to do," Lucifer taunted a little. He wagged his finger at Sam. "You're thinking about if you can fight me off to let the little one get away. Maybe use your other friend?"

Sam glanced at the adult Angela as she stood there looking at the devil. He recognized the look, the one that said that she would fight no matter what and that was to protect him. He glanced at the little one in his arms and noted that she was looking at the devil with a blank expression. It wasn't scared or any recognizable emotion. It was a serious one for one so little and one that he fondly remembered when she used to look at things with that expression. It was surprising when she turned that look at him and stared at him straight on. He looked at her as she stared at him and queried, "Angie?"

She was silent but Lucifer's voice entered in with mocking tones, "What are you going to do Sam? I've got all the time in the world and so much fun planned for you both."

Sam glanced at Lucifer just as the adult Angela said, "You know what I will do."

Sam looked at the devil once more before looking at the little one in his arms. She was still staring at him with that expression. She then said, "Do what you have to do."

Sam made a slight frown as he looked at her, "Wha…"

"Do what you have to do, Sammy. You always come." The little one then smiled at him gently.

Sam looked at her as she smiled at her. He glanced over at Lucifer who was looking bemused at him. He could almost hear him taunting him that he was better than him. He knew that he was going to have to fight his way out but didn't really acknowledge it. This time he wasn't alone but it was still a fight and one that he was certain was going to lead to something else.

A/N: Round one for Sam and Angie have come up and it looks like it's going to be a wild ride. Stay tuned for next time on Over the Edge...