A/N: I really hope you like this chapter guys. It's longer than the usual chapters because I wasn't able to update for a long time. And I tried to balance the storylines for the Hannily and Quinntana stuffs.

Special thanks to those who reviewed this story. I incredibly appreciate it. Please keep it coming :)

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CHAPTER 9

"I guess, when you fall in love with someone who belongs to someone else, acknowledging the truth is painful; the more you know that they love each other, the more painful it gets. And it would be more painful if you choose to interfere."

"You have to keep the feelings inside. Waiting for that person you love to notice that you're right there."

"Maybe it's just the wrong timing."

Spencer's words kept replaying on my mind. For the nth time I can feel tears flowing from my eyes. Her words stung deep. I know it's true. Truth can be cruelly painful sometimes.

"My first real kiss with my first real love? Never."

I was her first love, maybe there's this chance that she'll love me that way again, right? I mean, people say, first love is always special. I know that because Emily is special to me. I don't want to get my hopes up but a girl can dream, right?

"Hey!" I heard someone call out that snapped me out of my trance. When I looked up I saw Santana running towards me.

"Santana. You're early." I commented.

"Well, I believe in the saying that the early bird catches the worm." That hit home. I know she didn't address that remark to me but it stung. I wondered if I confessed my feelings earlier things wouldn't be this complicated. Santana might've noticed my expression. "You're early too. Care to share?"

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to come early…" Emily and Santana is kind of a transitive property when it comes to things like this. She sat beside me. "So I guess, you know about the situation."

She nodded. "Just so you know; I'm rooting for you." She smiled at me. And I couldn't help but smile. It's good to know that I can talk to someone who completely knows the situation I'm in, plus, she's rooting for me.

I smiled at her. "Really?" I asked that sounded hopeful.

"Yeah, until Hanna come in terms with her feelings." And here I was thinking that she's serious. I slapped her arms. "Ouch! I was just trying to cheer you up."

"Well, you're not helping." I said as I try a pout.

She just laughed at me. "But seriously, I like you for Em. She still loves you in that way, I can feel it. Just wait for her, she'll come around."

I smiled at her genuinely. "I hope so." Then I looked at her intently. "Just so you know, you don't have to tell me, I will wait for her." Of course I will.

It was her turn to smile. "Good. I didn't have to use force then." She said jokingly.

I laughed at her joke actually. "Do you know that I was her first love? Do you happen to know when?" I blurted out.

"Hmmm. Well, she did tell me she loved you first. I didn't know when exactly but I think it was since high school, because she said she fell in love with you before I fell in love with Quinn." I didn't know if I would be glad to hear that or hate myself because I didn't know how many times I blew my chance of being happy with Emily.

"Do you think first love never dies?" Emily asked me in a too serious tone. I was taken aback, one; she doesn't usually take me seriously, two; it's about love, a topic that isn't her thing in my opinion.

For a moment all I did was look at her. I decided to answer really briefly to lessen the tendency to spill my feelings. "No. I don't think so." I lied. I actually believe that first love will always be special, just like how special Emily is to me.

"That's it? You just don't think so?" she said in somehow disappointed tone. She wasn't satisfied with my answer obviously.

"Yeah. Why?" I tried to sound indifferent as possible. I wonder why she's asking these things now. Does she have a first love? I didn't bother asking even though I am curious. I know she wouldn't answer me anyway.

"Nothing." she said briefly. I was hoping she would spill whatever it is that's bothering her, but as expected she just shrugged. Her next question however…"Have you ever been in love?"

That almost made me jump out of my seat. Where does she get these kinds of questions? I almost tell her that I've always been in love with her, but I managed to suppress my feelings. Instead I breathed deep and just smiled before I could think of a better response. "Yeah, with a girl actually." She tensed. At that moment I didn't know what to think, I was scared that she would look at me in disgust.

She wasn't saying anything, it's like she just froze. I decided to break the silence. "You think I'm serious?" I noticed that she responded fast.

"Are you joking?" she asked in an unreadable expression. I wanted to take back what I just revealed, but I didn't want to lie to her about that biggest detail.

"No." I answered in full confidence; well I tried to sound really confident.

"Is she someone I know?" she pried. I wanted to answer, 'Of course you know her, Em. Unless you haven't met yourself yet.'

But I'm not ready for rejection, especially from her. Importantly, I'm not ready to lose her as a friend. So instead I just said, "Yeah. Sure." She was quiet again. I was waiting for her to speak. I hope she would catch on. Or even just joke about it, like 'Don't tell me, it's me. I know you can't help it, a lot of people can't but…' and then I'd tell her, right there and then. But she didn't.

She was just there in her own thoughts. I couldn't stand being with her right now. I know if this conversation continue, I'd tell her how I feel, so I spoke before she did. "It's getting late."

"And there I was, so scared that she would reject me." I said with oblivious regret in my tone.

Santana must be staring at me because she noticed that I was having an internal dilemma. "You were both scared I guess. The three of you are scared, or at least was."

"We're a bunch of scared teenagers." I agreed.

"Hmmm…You were scared of rejection; Emily was scared to take any risk; while Hanna is scared to make the wrong decision…"

"Well that's stupid. For me, Emily will always be the right choice." I said nonchalantly. Not Hanna, but the fact that someone is hesitant of taking a risk with Emily.

"That's because you're sure that you're in love with Emily. Hanna on the other hand, is confused." Santana defended.

"Hmm…I thought you're rooting for me. You seem to be taking her side." I feigned hurt. "Is it because she's blonde and I'm not?" I tried to joke.

A small laugh escaped her lips. "Maybe. But I have a more specific type."

"Quinn." -The only word that I need to say to put a smile on my friend's face. Santana seems happier these days. I wonder why. "You don't seem bitter anymore. In fact you seem better." I commented.

"Here's the deal. Solve your problem first, before you mind other people's business." She said in a nice Santana way, which by the way, still sounded mean to me.

"I take it back, you're not better. You're still mean." I crossed my arms and stood up.

She just laughed at me as usual. "Where are you going?"

"None of your business." I said feigning annoyance.

"As if I'm gonna buy your acting, Aria." I heard her say then I walked away…or I was going to, but three familiar figures caught my attention; Spencer, Rachel and Emily. They were coming this way.

"Hi, Aria!" Rachel greeted from a not so far distance. "Where are you going?" she asked curiously right after they manage to come right in front of me. I didn't answer her because I was focused on Emily. I wasn't sure if I should greet her or wait for her to greet me. I tried to make eye contact but she walked past me and took a sit beside Santana.

That hurt.

"Aria?" Rachel asked again.

"I was trying to walk out from Santana. But since you guys are here, there's no need to do that." I explained, for the sake. "Where's Sam?" I asked, attempting to distract myself.

"He said he's on his way. And by that, he probably meant that he just finished taking a bath." Spencer stated which made me chuckle. By now were used of Sam's tardiness.

"How about…" I suddenly felt awkward about continuing but Spencer continued my question for me.

"Hanna? She can't make it. She texted me that she's sick." Spencer didn't sound convinced just like me. It has probably something to do with our dilemma.

"So guys. I mean girls, where are we heading to? Is it going to be a movie marathon this time? Or we're gonna roam around the mall?" Spencer asked…

Santana's POV:

"You don't look happy." I commented at Emily's weary face.

"How can I be happy? She's sick and I'm here walking around the mall." She said obviously referring to Hanna.

I sighed. "You're not even sure she's really sick. It could be just a stupid excuse for all we know." I speak my mind.

"It doesn't matter if she's really sick. I know she's not feeling well, or else she would be here." She reasoned, which, most probably is correct.

"You're right. And I bet she doesn't want to see you or else she would be here." I said what I honestly think.

She sighed. "Santana."

I just shook my head in response. I know she's in love and all, but I didn't know she could be this incapable of thinking straight. Okay, wrong choice of words. I even laugh mentally at myself a little bit.

We headed to the elevator but it was crowded.

I smirked. "What's the smirk all about?" Emily raised an eyebrow.

"It's like this…" I started. "Why would you insist on going inside the elevator if there's no space for you there, when in fact you can take the stairs; you just don't want to take notice of." I was pretty impressed at myself for being able to resemble it to her situation.

She was indeed taken aback. I know I hit a homerun remark. And what a perfect timing: Aria decided to call me at this point of time.

"Hello, Aria." I didn't fail on emphasizing her name.

"What's taking you so long? Is someone drowned in the toilet?" Aria asked sarcastically.

"What's taking me so long?" I asked in a teasing tone.

"Both of you. Are you planning to come back?" she said in annoyance.

"Yeah. Be there in a sec., don't miss me too much." I said alongside with a smirk.

"You better be." She said in an authoritative tone. Then it turned into an almost whisper, "Would you stop talking and get your as back here." Yup, she still has that psychic thing.

I just chuckled. "Okay, bye." The line went off and turned my attention to Emily. "So, see what I'm saying?"

"You could always wait for the elevator to be empty. It happens." She said wittily. I was about to argue but the elevator went open once again and it was kind of empty. So I choose to just smile and kept quiet. I hate it when chances sides with her.

"Where is she?" Aria asked the brunette confusedly.

"She checked if Hanna's okay. She might not return." The brunette said with a soft voice which just formed an o-shape on Aria's mouth.

"I'm surprised you didn't come with her." It was a statement but it sounded more of a question to Emily.

"I'm sure Hanna's not in a very bad condition, I' pretty sure she can handle herself, she's a strong girl." Emily replied. She seemed to be saying it more to herself, trying to reason with herself why she doesn't need to go there herself. And Aria wasn't amused.

"If she can handle herself why'd you have to ask Santana to go check on her?" it was a question that Aria wanted to ask Emily but decided that it wouldn't matter. At least not in her case. She's just glad she finally got to talk to Emily, after being avoided for the past minutes.

As planned, Santana went to the Marin's residence to make sure that Hanna is okay. Supposedly, Emily was the one who's going but Santana thought it would be better if the two would have some space for themselves. She thought it would be nice if Emily could enjoy some quality time with their friends.

So there she is, sitting in Hanna's bed, staring at her blonde friend with puffy eyes, obviously from her continuous crying.

"For a second, I thought she was the one standing at that door. I panicked, really, not knowing what to say, or do. But it caused me happiness, even for just a very little moment." Hanna stated looking down at her bed while she's seated Indian style on it.

"Yeah, well you don't have to rub it in my face that my presence is not wanted here." Santana joked, trying to make her friend smile genuinely. Sadly, she didn't succeed on her first attempt.

"No, it's not that." Hanna said briefly. They both know what she meant by that but it still kind of annoyed Santana because she never liked the broody side of her friend. She's just not used to it, and she refuse to get used to it.

"Would you get mad at me if I told you that she wanted to visit you but I stopped her?" the Latina confessed in an asking manner. She thought it would make her friend happy somehow.

But instead of a smile, she was given a confused look. "Why would you do that? You're really not my fan, huh?" she used a serious tone but the last part was more of a half joke.

Santana didn't know if she should smile, "Hey, I'm your fan, just not, a Hannily fan just yet."

Hanna smiled at the Hannily remark. Ridiculously, she was happy that their names were together even though the two of them are physically and emotionally apart.

"You're scaring me. What's so funny about what I said?" Santana asked confused. She was smiling though, seeing a smile on her friend's face.

"Just yet?" Hanna asked trying to change the direction of their conversation, she was a bit shy of the reason she's smiling. Hanna waited patiently for an answer since her friend is busy texting. "Don't mine me, I'm just gonna wait here until you finish texting." Hanna seemed a bit better now since she was able to throw jokes.

"Don't judge, it's Em." Santana said teasingly. She knew it was a bit of a sensitive topic but the text was from a concerned Emily so it couldn't hurt that much, she thought to herself.

"What did she say?" the blonde asked curiously.

"She's just asking if I'm already in your house; if you're doing fine and the sick part was just an excuse." Santana stated the texts Emily sent her, well, some of it.

"That's all?"

"She's wondering why you didn't come. She's wondering if it's because you don't want to see her." Santana continued.

"What did you say to her?" Hanna was trying to make sure Emily doesn't get the wrong idea.

"I said that you're just really tired from all the shit that's going on." The brunette said slowly and casually.

"Well, I appreciate your answer but try refraining yourself from cussing." Hanna took notice of Santana's use of foul word.

"You're starting to act like Quinn too." Santana couldn't help but comment, while a smile on her face is plastered.

The action caused Hanna to smirk. "When will you ever comment something about Quinn and not have that dreamy smile of yours?"

Santana grabbed a pillow and hit Hanna with it. "Shut up."

Hanna's expression turned from happy to serious.

"What?" Santana asked briefly. Which kind of sums up for 'Is there a problem?' 'Why are you looking at me like that?' 'Did I say something wrong?'

"Nothing, I'm just glad that at least some of us are happy." And there she goes with her gloomy side of her again.

"Cheer up, Hanna. You can be happy too. You just have to let yourself be." Santana answered without batting an eyelash.

Santana wasn't sure if Hanna was planning to answer her, she didn't have time to see either because her phone rang with the name of Quinn Fabray appearing on her screen. She signaled Hanna to excuse herself for a moment.

"Quinn. You're calling." Santana said with a nervous chuckle.

"Where are you?" Quinn asked demandingly.

Santana was having a hard time choosing her answers; she knew Quinn can get suspicious sometimes. "Didn't I tell you where I'm going?"

"You did, that's why we're having this conversation." Quinn answered at an instant. She almost scared Santana Lopez with her tone.

"Ahh…" Santana was confused.

"Rachel said you're not in the mall with them." Quinn stated, waiting for confirmation even though she's pretty sure it's true. "…which, in case you don't know, is where you said you were going to."

Santana cleared her throat trying to stall. "And why would you call Rachel before me?" By that time, Hanna stood from the bed and sat on the chair in front of the mirror to fix her hair.

"That's not the issue here." Quinn tried to reason, clearly annoyed.

"Oh, but it is an issue to me." Santana didn't want to argue with Quinn, but finding a reason to be annoyed, she started an argument. It was a valid question, right?

Quinn sighed. She knows Santana is in the mood of fighting and she's annoyed isn't a very good combination. "Just tell me where you are."

"Why didn't you ask your girlfriend?" Santana snapped.

Quinn didn't like the remark. "I actually asked Rachel, I just want to hear it from my real girlfriend." Santana checked Hanna heard, but the way she sees it, Hanna wasn't really paying attention on her conversation with Quinn. Fortunately, her phone wasn't on loudspeaker.

Santana sighed, she knew Quinn has the right to be irritated but her ego gets the best of her. "I'll talk to you later." She stated like it's not debatable.

"Santana, you're starting to get on my nerves." The blonde on the other line warned.

"The more we should talk later Bye, Quinn." The Latina said before she cut the line. She felt guilty on cutting their conversation like that, but she tried to justify herself. She just might say something she might regret, and she didn't want to have that kind of conversation with Quinn, in front of Hanna. After all, their relationship should still be kept a secret, according to Quinn herself. She'll understand, Santana thought.

Santana deeply sighed. "So much for being happy. Huh?" the Latina tried to joke to clear the air.

Hanna just smiled. "You'll fix it." She said simply.

Santana smiled back. "Hope so."

"You know what; let's go to the mall. It's like one in the afternoon, they're probably still there." Hanna suggested, she seemed feeling better and confident to see Emily.

"Are you sure? I mean, she's there." Santana asked.

"Locking myself in my room won't solve anything." The blonde pointed out.

"Well, you should've thought of that, hours ago." Santana remarked, it was meant as a joke but Hanna seemed to take it seriously.

"Yeah, well, I know you're not feeling any better now, so, I figured you want to talk to Emily since that's what you always do." Hanna said truthfully.

My face softened for so many reasons, "I didn't really helped on making you feel better did I?"

"Come on, you came here instead of enjoying watching movies and eating ice cream and playing arcade games, that means a lot to me, Santana. You're genuinely nice to me and I know that's totally not for everybody." I smiled at what she said. I think I'm finally getting better at being a good friend.

"Now, get your ass dressed up; we have some ice cream eating-arcades playing-movie watching group date to attend to." I said as I throw a pillow at her.

"Quinn, sweetie, what's wrong? You look like you just carried all the problems in the world." Quinn's roommate, Mercedes, said as she entered the room seeing the blonde girl closed to crying.

"I couldn't look that bad, Cedes." Quinn replied. "Do I really look that bad?" she looked at her roommate.

Mercedes chuckled a bit. "Maybe I exaggerated a bit, but really, what's wrong?"

Quinn just sighed.

"Come on, you know you can tell me, I'll listen." She assured her friend. She then, sat at the seat facing Quinn.

"Remember when I told you I had someone special back home?" when Mercedes nodded she continued. "Well, we've been…" Quinn sighed again hesitating to continue.

"Together?" the bigger girl finished Quinn's sentence which made the blonde panic. "Why do you look startled? There's nothing wrong with that, you're seventeen and you're in love." Mercedes made it sound like there's nothing wrong with it but Quinn knew better, so she just kept quiet.

Quinn contemplated if she's ready to say that she's in love with her best friend, which is a girl. But that's the good thing about being away from home, right? You can be away from what people think about you, you can make a new reputation, a new image. One thing for sure, Quinn wanted to be just herself this time.

"What if that special someone isn't…" she wanted to say it, she really do, but she's scared, she's afraid that if she tell it to anyone, her parents might know, and they wouldn't stand a chance.

"Is it…uhm" Mercedes stopped halfway thinking twice if she wouldn't offend Quinn with what she's going to say. Sure, they've been pretty close as time goes by but she doesn't know if she's already in the right place to talk about these things. Quinn wasn't really the type of person that talks about herself.

"It's Santana." Quinn continued. There was a relief after that but it didn't take long that she felt emotionally naked. And it scared her. She waited for the other girl's reaction, she expected to see a shocked Mercedes but all she sees now is a smiling girl, like she knew it all along.

"I knew it's only a matter of time." The darker girl said. She held both Quinn's hands. "Quinn, there's nothing wrong with that. It's like loving a boy, but with longer hair and minus the extra appendage." Mercedes' words comforted Quinn; she said it so casually like it's not a big deal.

"You make it sound like it's not a big deal." Quinn spoke her mind.

"Did I?" she laughed. "I'm sorry then, falling in love is always a big deal, Quinn." Mercedes ended her sentence with a smile.

"This world that we have, Santana and I, it's a beautiful place, it's perfect. And I'm afraid that if I invited somebody in to see our home, they might mess it up or take it away from me, and I can't afford that, Cedes. I've never felt…this. And it's the most terrifying, yet most beautiful feeling in the world." Quinn said dreamily.

"I don't see what's wrong with that, except, are you on the same page? I mean, some people are just not pleased to be kept a secret, especially when they're the kind of person that's proud of what she have, and proud that she's in love." Mercedes explained I Quinn knew exactly what she meant. And if she's really being honest with herself, she's practically describing Santana unintentionally.

"She said she's going to wait, until I'm ready. And I know she meant it, Cedes, I do. But we're physically distant, and I have these thoughts, like, what if she finds someone who's out and proud to be with her? I want to be that person that doesn't care about what other people say, but I'm not and because of that I know at some point I'll lose her." There were tears that wanted to fall from her eyes but she's fighting it. She remembered that Santana is with Hanna right now, the girl who doesn't care of what other people say, and that scares the hell out of her.

"Quinn, the least you could do is trust her. I know, I don't know her that well, but she calls you every night, even before, although you don't answer her, except that time when we have exam the next day, because she doesn't want to disturb you, and isn't that a sign that no matter how many people or whoever they are, the last person she thinks about each day is you?" Somehow, even if it wasn't new information to her; she felt a bit better, actually hearing it again.

"She lied to me today though. She said she's going out with our friends on the mall, but when I called Rachel, you know, one of my friends, she said she's not with them, she's with Hanna." Quinn just felt like she needed to let it out.

"Like you said Quinn, you weren't there. You didn't know what really happened, if there was an emergency or anything. It's not like you caught her kissing someone else." Mercedes immediately answered wittily.

Quinn nodded in realization. I shouldn't really have made this a big deal in the first place; Hanna is our friend. She's just a friend, and a best friend at that. Quinn thought to herself.

The blonde stood up to reach for the girl in front of her for a hug. "Thank you, for being so smart. Now excuse me, I'm going to call my girl." She pulled away with a smile.

"Go for it." she smiled at Quinn then look at her watch, "and excuse me, while I grab some snacks with my boyfriend." She winked dramatically then trailed off.

Quinn's POV:

"Quinn?" I can't be more relieved that she finally answered the phone. Aside from the fact that hearing her voice calms me.

"Santana." I said in a low voice and shy tone.

"I'm sorry." Oddly enough, we both uttered at the same time. Based on the silence that filled the line, she's still upset.

So I continued the apologizing. "It was a very petty thing to fight over. I'm sorry for being shallow. It's the distance, and my insecurities, I'm sorry, San. I snapped. There's just-" I rambled.

"Shhh. It's okay now, Q. I'm sorry too. I didn't notice that you called me a couple of times hence you called Rachel instead. I hadn't noticed until I checked my phone again. I was really stupid and…" she sighed. "I love you." The way she said it; there was no need for any further apologizing. "No offense to Hanna, but she has nothing on you, Quinn; Not in my sight, not in my belief and not ever."

I laughed. She's being all kinds of sweet again that it made me feel guiltier yet touched. "I'm really sorry, Sweetie."

I heard a choke or close to that description from the other line. "Santana, are you okay?" I asked abruptly.

"Yeah. Yeah, Babe. Just, refrain from calling me that again next time." She sounded serious but I find it funny. "It's not funny, Q. You sounded like my mom."

I smiled because of two reasons, 1; I like it when I get to annoy her in a good way and 2; I expected a more dramatic reconciling and relieved that it turned out like this. "I'd settle for babe then."

"Yeah. Please do."

"I'm happy we're not fighting anymore. I don't like the feeling even just one bit." I sighed.

"I can't promise you we're not going to fight ever again, because there's a great possibility that we might, judging on how stubborn we both are. But we'll make it through. Because I love you." Santana isn't really making it easy for me to be away from her, everything that comes from her mouth makes me want to fly to her and kiss her.

"And don't forget that I'm in love with you." I added.

I can judge that she's smiling too. "Yeah, we'll make it through because we're in love with each other. And also because I only want you. You're my type."

"That's really comforting, San. Good to know you like blondes." I teased.

She chuckled. "I didn't say girls like you are my type, Silly. I said you are my type. Apparently, my only type ever since I met you."

"I don't know. You're such a chic magnet; I can't help but be worried." I said to try her.

"Sometimes, I just stand here and wonder if you'll ever understand just how much of me belong to you."

A/N (Again): Criticisms would be accepted as long as it's said nicely, I need it sometimes. Please comment about what you think of this chapter and the story over-all. Thanks!